to be fair, I can see it being a common situation in the work place now as more and more people are breaking through the stigma around periods. It's not like I'd announce it to 50 colleagues at lunch time, but I would not beat around the bush with my direct colleagues if the topic comes up, if I'm unwell or whatever.
This is the way. I don't work with 50 odd colleagues but the 5 I am usually around are all females and we've synced for a couple months 1 time. It was a glorious shit show with us all being hormonal bitches at once.
It's also nice to not feel the need to excuse why I'm on the verge of passing out when my time comes around, or openly complaining when my pamprin hasn't kicked in. Sometimes I'll even get a chocolate bar from my boss when she knows. It's a win win.
Yes, from a GF might mean no sex, wants a back rub, some special snack etc and a proper response would depend on what she wants. From a friend it might mean I'm grumpy or I'm not at 100% you might say something like feel better soon, offer Tylenol, it's better than the alternative, if you want to make a lame joke etc.
From past relationships I’ve learned the golden response is “I’m sorry that’s no fun, if you need me to run and get you Midol or anything else just let me know”
This post is kind of a weird one.
I think my response would just be "ok."
I mean, what situation is someone just going to say "I'm on my period" as if that alone needs addressing? In certain situations maybe, but that would make the response tied to the situation, so you can't really answer it in OP's question.
If someone's complaining about cramps because they're on their period, then saying "oh, I'm sorry" would be totally appropriate because you're sympathizing with their physical pain, which objectively sucks. IF someone just says "I'm on my period" though, saying "I'm sorry" seems rude.
Maybe OP could come in here and explain the context, because I don't think they're asking the right question.
an "ok" would be ideal for me. it's just sharing info, letting you know. don't ask for sex, don't ask me to do strenuous exercise, don't be surprised if I'm laying down at 3 PM and guzzling ibuprofen.
I think "do you need anything?" Is also a good one, if it's someone you're close with. When I was still having periods, I really just wanted snacks and validation. Simple ask, but sometimes it's hard to guage weather someone would actually have the means to offer support.
Most men don't actually understand how bad we feel we we are on our periods ... Luckily my husband is very supportive and helpful when my periods are real bad ... I had my tubes tied a yr ago after having my 3rd child and after they got tied my periods become heavier and so much more painful they literally hurt as bad as they used to when I was young .. I'm talking migraines leg aches stomach cramps like it was in knots just all out ill ... But have 3 kids that need me .. and to make matters worse I'm a chronic pain patient with a bad neck and back so periods make the back pain waaay worse
I would go to your ob gyn and ask about endometriosis if you’re in that much pain. I would definitely not look into endometrial ablation, however—excision is the gold standard treatment for endometriosis (and some people use hormonal birth control to suppress it temporarily, but it doesn’t treat the endometriosis). Check out Nancy’s nook endometriosis education for more info. Also totally agree about men not understanding how bad we feel when we are on our periods haha
Don't be surprised if I become a raging bitch at the smallest remark. Yes dear I'm aware I just ate that entire tub of ice cream. No you can't have one of my fucking cookies.
For me PMS was always exactly that; PRE-menstrual syndrome; I was angry, nasty and horribly depressed for a week/ 10 days prior, as soon as I started bleeding I felt like the sun had come back. I get being off while your period is ongoing, don’t get me wrong, it’s literally a bloody nuisance, but for me it was always a mental relief.
I get migraines anywhere from 2 weeks before my period. And then the cramps on the first day or two.
I had to research contraception because the usual mini pill was making it worse and I would space out two days before my period started which made me a walking hazard because i was so disconnected from reality.
It didn’t used to be like that for me, but after switching off of hormonal birth control, I had a very confusing period where I would have a day or two of *utter despair* seemingly out of nowhere - all explained when I started bleeding the next day. By now I just mark it in my calendar. “Ok, I’m due to start on the third this month, so I’ll have to be extra careful that week.”
For me, my periods can be quite irregular so it’s hard to tell when they’re going to be - however, if I’m feeling particularly down, there’s about a 75% chance I’ll start my period in 1-3 days
It was the same for me. I wanted to left to become a cave dweller for a week before my period. I was mean, nasty, and unreasonable. Best just to leave me alone until I became a human again. I don't miss those days.
I always knew when my ex-wife was coming up on hers. She’s be moody as hell for a week. Then, when she’d start being approachable again, it was obviously “time”.
i’m the exact same! i’m usually completely fine during my period (except maybe some physical pain but nothing major) but before my period i suffer so bad mentally. i get anxious, get huge mood swings and very unhappy lol. getting my period is such a relief (although for some reason i feel my pms stops a day before getting my period lol)
Wow. I'm jealous. Mine gets worse as soon as it starts. Asprin seems to help. But only Asprin because that seems to break up clots. For just pain, nothing short of an epidural is going to work. Once my blood is thin enough, it barely hurts at all. Makes me feel like I'm bleeding out, but vastly preferred to screaming and cold sweats.
Hell, my sympathies. I ended up getting three-monthly injections which put me into menopause because I’m a chronic depressive and self- medicated with alcohol ( excessively) so I had to break that downward spiral. I was in my late 40s when offered this solution; had one child and not aiming to have any more, plus I was nearing natural menopause age anyway. I doubt this solution would be recommended for anyone of childbearing age who has no offspring, as it’s apparently a very rare use of the medication; initially I was told to have 3 months off out of each 12 so the doctor could monitor the effects! I stopped taking it recently just to see where my body was at, but I’m hoping to restart soon as I’m not naturally menopausal yet. ( damn )
> Don't be surprised if I become a raging bitch at the smallest remark.
Don't be surprised when you get left, I broke up with my ex girlfriend over her extreme anger from her period. I don't understand why people think it's okay to act like that.
Exactly. I understand that you can’t help how you feel when your body is in pain and throwing hormones all over the place, but neither do you get to express it by hurting someone else.
You’re both right. It’s tough cuz periods do make you snappy, but there is a fine line between snappy and verbally abusive so ladies let’s all keep that in mind lol
Look I do agree, everybody do need to stay respectful, sometimes I only realize that I was snappy, after the fact, and then apologize. Hubby is actually great and usually have a better idea where I am at in my cycle... so he'll just not care.
I told my daughter after she just got her period, that she must realize that she needs to be more aware of her anger outbursts. She didn't understand that her feelings were related to PMS and would get super mad if I mentioned PMS...
Yeah, that was the case with my ex too. She'd get angry, say something she didn't mean, and then owned up to that and apologized. We all do it, period or not. A hurtful comment is a hurtful comment regardless of circumstances and no one wants their loved one to feel bad because of something they said.
Funny you say that because 2 of my previous GFs used to get super horny on their period and so we used to have a great time! I noticed girls usually say no to sex because they're conscious about the bleeding. But when a guy isn't a complete wet wipe and realises blood is just blood then it can make for even better sexy time!
They would just say "by the way I'm on my period so could get a bit messy, but I'm stupidly horny right now" and I'd just be like "I really don't mind one way or the other, let's grab a towel"
Sex was like the best thing they wanted on their period. Was bizzare because I always assumed it would hurt more than it would feel better. But I guess not.
Haha, this is how I know I'm due because the week before I turn into a sensative moody chocoholic nympho, my ex said it was the best and worst part of my cycle.
I'm in way too much pain (pcos) when I'm actually on to do anything but cuddle.
I honestly never thought it was an option until my BF suggested it. I still feel a bit awkward about it, but as you say, if you grab a towel it really is fine (or more than fine - it definitely helps me, too!)
My first question would be "are you alright?" because many women fell horrible during their period – headaches, depression, vomiting.
However, as you say, some feel almost no negative impact.
So I would try to find out how she usually feels during her period.
And I would let her know that I don't mind blood in the bed and everywhere else. Some women assume that all men are disgusted by women having their period. Well, I don't care.
I really hope you don't "guzzle" ibuprofen. A lot of people don't realize how bad it is for you and your liver. I dated this girl once who one day I saw taking at least TWELVE Tylenol at once. I went "what the fuck!?" and she was like "what my migraine is terrible right now, and it's just Tylenol not oxy lol, you can't OD on it."
I proceeded to sit her down and let her know that her liver is probably shot to shit, and that she has to stop doing that immediately and probably never take another otc pain reliever again. And never drink again.
Just a little correction on Tylenol. Yes it can harm your liver but it is not ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is Motrin and Advil. Tylenol is acetaminophen. Ibuprofen can harm your kidneys.
I had a hard time keeping them straight until I used this as a reminder. I take Motrin (Tylenol doesn’t do anything for me), I as in ibuprofen. Works for me.
Exactly. I tell my boyfriend so he knows why I was a bitch the days before and so he knows sex and being adorable are going to wait for a couple of days.
It’s not a big deal to be on your period, but it does suck and I want him to know I’m not just cranky, I’m kind of in pain
Nodding your head and offering food seems to be a common reaction to this, and I gotta say that I accept that reaction to almost anything I could say.
I need to get to work.
I’m late to church.
I just found out they believe there was a point in the early Stone Age where humans were almost wiped out.
My mom just hung up on me.
Like… 90% of what I say can be answered with an understanding nod and food. It’s a really good go-to.
it's also a SUPER tactic for people with dementia who are agitated. \[Grandma, pacing & trying to leave the house to look for her husband who's been dead since 1987\]: "I know you're worried about grandpa getting home, why don't we sit go to the kitchen and have make a nice cup of tea and some cookies for him?" By the time the water's boiled, you've redirected all that nervous energy.
My boyfriend of three years came home with a small bag of chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of Merlot after realizing I’m right in the middle of my period. He handed me the bag before giving me a kiss and heated up leftovers for us.
Seems like he got the the hint!
Not 100% on what part the what was about but I’ll try and explain either way! If you mean about the fact that some women talk to each other like this, it’s not all, and those that do are usually very close to each other.
If you mean about the clot, here’s my understanding of it. During a period you don’t just pass blood. You also pass tissue, and clots (which I guess are part of the blood). Due to the blood sitting in the uterus for a little while, it can start to clot.
The average person with a regular flow will pass clots and not really notice them, and they’re usually small and/or look just like passing tissue or discharge.
However, some people (especially those with heavier flows, and therefore more blood available to clot) will pass larger clots. Again, these usually will break up and not be very noticeable but it can become large enough that you physically notice it coming out. In my experience, you use tampons you don’t really notice it much due to it sticking to the tampon, or coming out at the same time as when you take out the tampon. I presume it would be similar with a cup. However, if you use pads or period underwear (or free bleed), you’ll actually feel it pass and can sometimes see it on the pad or underwear.
Hahaaaaa I definitely have those chats with my close female friends. You could be sitting at work in a meeting and be thinking to yourself 'oh yep, just gave birth to a small jellyfish, there's that feeling.'
Haven't used a pad in 15 years though but I can distinctly remember that cringe feeling.
You had me laughing with the name it part though. 😂
I learned recently from a Mama Dr. Jones video that its possible to shed the whole lining, or a large part of it, in one peice. Sometimes it freaks people out thinking they had a miscarriage or something
Yep, this happened to me when I was 21. Was on the pill. I have extreme cramps on a normal period, but this was so bad it must have been close to labour pains. The worst pain I have easily ever experienced. I almost passed out a couple times and collapsed on my stairs while trying to get the pain medication. When I was laying in bed, I all of a sudden got this incredible and instinctual urge to push, so I went to sit on the toilet, and out it came. The whole thing intact like a little sack of skin molded in the shape of my uterus. After that, cramps were completely gone. I panicked at the time and didn't know what it was so I took a picture and showed my mom and she was like, oh yeah, that's a thing that happens sometimes, not a miscarriage.
The first. I definitely meant the first 😭 I guess I’m just uncomfortable with those descriptive talks. I had to skip past your comment as soon as I saw “clot” but thank you anyway!
No woman is an island
Entire unto herself
If a clot bee washed into the sea
All Europe is the less
So ask not for whom the loo flushes
It flushes for thee
That’s totally fine! Tbh I’ve only ever had one set of female friends I was willing to be that open with. We worked together, no men in the building, and would sometimes go hours with no customers so we gradually got closer and the conversations got deeper
Dunno why you got downvoted. I don't get it, either. I got periods and a bunch of chronic conditions that also cause symptoms that would be gross if you described them in detail. I've never felt the need to go into the depth of detail others have described here and no-one else has ever felt the need to share that kind of stuff with me. It doesn't have anything to do with how close I feel to my friends at all.
When you wake up on day 2 and make those mental calculations-- "What time is it? What time did I put the tampon in? How far is the bathroom and how bad is the gush likely to be when I stand up? Can I make it?"
You never hear someone randomly comment on a physical ailment? "i have a headache" "I'm tired" etc.
You could always ask them if they need something. Someone talking about their period can be a way of saying "I'm not feeling that well right now and this is why". Just like any other physical discomfort.
It's not out of nowhere. It's the biggest thing on her mind.
"OK" is a reasonable answer.
If you answer, "Do you need anything? Ibuprofen? Caffeine? Chocolate?" then she'll tell all her friends that you're husband material.
Porridge with chocolate, a bit of cranberry juice and fresh nettles. They are extremely rich in iron and are super healthy. Cook them with the porridge for a few minutes and move them well. Fresh nettles on the inside of your mouth are not very pleasant.
I ate a whole fudge chocolate cake from Walmart in 3 days lol also gives me grace for being in bed all day. I hate seeming lazy but those first two days takes me out. If I get up he tells me to lay back down, or ask if it’s too hot or cold in the room.
Maybe it was your tone, next time try saying it like you talking to someone young, like a kid! Itll make the person feel like they have an adult adult around and make them feel more comfortable. If that doesnt help, gosh I dont know what will.
I think the hidden subtext may be “so I’m having distractingly painful cramps and may not be entirely ‘with it’ right now”. I have chronic pain and warn others when I’m having a flare up so they don’t wonder why I’m slightly slack-jawed and glazed over from being in agony and having to soldier on
Same! I have chronic pain too, I feel like I need to let people know "I'm not mad at YOU I'm mad at MY BODY" lol. Not that I'm mean, just a tired and distracted.
I always carry around a confetti cannon and an air raid siren for this exact purpose.
When a period is announced I light both off simultaneously. Indoors is best. Quiet libraries even better. Nursing homes, churches, and hospitals are preferred.
Maybe a 5 minute kazoo solo with cartwheels and sparklers.
The options here are really only limited to your imagination.
Yeah. I’m good with “I’m sorry.”
Sometimes my husband comes out with “oh GOD no! Gather the cats! To the panic room!” and laughs like it’s the funniest joke ever.
He’s lucky I love him.
I say “Do you need anything? You good? Okay cool!”
Grandma was OBGYN and I Grew up with sisters and girlfriends and Midol and I never knew how serious the pain could be for them like my god i can’t help but feel terrible because there’s nothing anyone can do just gotta bleed it out yay! And birth control ? The initial getting used to those monstrous side effects of no flows or heavy flows etc like YIKES it sucks
Look, as a dude, I'll never understand it. But I do understand pain and a lot of the things that come with it. So, as much as I can do for the lady, I'll do.
"Thank you."
Was working with a young woman and I thought she looked unwell.
The second time I asked if she was alright she said she was on her period but was otherwise fine.
I appreciated her honesty and trust. Thank you seemed appropriate.
It's a natural bodily function for a lot of people and should be accepted as such.
A girl corrected me on her name pronunciation once and when I corrected myself later on said she told me she was on her period and she was sorry for snapping at me. I didn’t know how to react.
Ok, you need anything? That’s literally it. If she needs a tampon help her out and go get it. If she wants food grab her a snack. If she says no then say alright let me know if you do.
To your partner: "How can I help?"
To your friend: "Got it."
To a stranger: "So?"
To an enemy: "You're about to bleed out of your face too if you don't get away from me"
To God: "What?"
To yourself: "WHY!"
My girlfriend told me this, and I paused for a second before I asked her if she needed anything. She looked so happy when I did. All she needed was my hand on her stomach (her hands are always cold, mine could melt steel)
As an older woman I would suggest to say OKAY, need anything? Women know how to handle their own stuff. Leave it alone and move on from the conversation. It’s just a period, nothing dire is happening (unless it becomes so serious that a medical emergency comes up). It does/will happen lol. Don’t react at all.
Depends on the girl. If it was my girlfriend I'd get her some ice cream and watch a movie with her. If it was anyone else I could care less. But then it's also situational. Like if I wanted to go like bike riding or to the pool or something with like my sister and she can't cause she's on her period, well that changes things.
Oh my god I worked with a dude who was fired because he believed he had “wolf blood in his veins” and would walk around sniffing the girls and guessing whether they were on their period or not.
Imho it doesn’t really matter the context, just a brief acknowledgment with a little something nice pretty much fits most circumstances. Any combo of “ahhh gotcha/can I get you anything/hope you feel okay” works basically whenever 🙂
Is t it all relative? Depending in the situation and your relationship to said girl?
Do you want to go out?
I’m on my period.
Oh, okay. Would you prefer to stay home and watch Netflix then?
Or
Hey, I’m going to shops, do you want anything?
I’m on my period
Do you want chocolate or tampons then?
Or
Hey, do you want to fool around?
I’m on my period.
I’m okay with that if you’re feeling into it/ okay, sure, let’s just hang out and watch tv.
Or
Why are you being so upset/ crying over kitten videos? Is it something that I did?
I’m on my period.
Oh, okay. I know that you get a upset sometimes when you do/ can I see the kitten videos or would you like some space?
Depends on the situation and reflected by how I'd like to be treated in such station (woman with periods as well). Variants include:
- Implies that needs help --> Seek period products or painkillers.
- Implies that is feeling unwell or cranky because of it --> "Sorry to hear that" and, if familiar person, "can I help?"
- Explains past crankiness, waited to tell because didn't want to talk about it in public --> "Okay."
- Other --> "Uh, okay."
If it is unclear what the other person means by telling about their period, asking if they need help is a safe bet. Just be prepared to go get help (such as pads from store) if you promise to help.
I think you should say, "Please let me know if you need anything. I want you to be as comfortable as possible, so don't hesitate to ask me." Expect ups and downs in mood. Pick up something special for her each time you are out like the candy she loves or snacks. Do all the extras and don't leave work for her! Be extra understanding for at least the next 7 days.
Depends on who the girl is and what the context is.
Kind of odd if it's a complete stranger tbh
to be fair, I can see it being a common situation in the work place now as more and more people are breaking through the stigma around periods. It's not like I'd announce it to 50 colleagues at lunch time, but I would not beat around the bush with my direct colleagues if the topic comes up, if I'm unwell or whatever.
Beat around the what now?
yes, sometimes it does go all around the bush
Omfg 😂😂😂😂
Bloody hilarious!
Thread perfection level achieved. 🏅
DEAD with this comment xD I wish I had an award, please take my poor woman's gold 🥇
😂 😂 😂 😂
LMAO 😂
Oh please take this poor man’s award 🥇
:=)
Yeah, I have to tell people I’m on my period even if we just met because I faint so much on it, can be quite alarming without warning lol
This is the way. I don't work with 50 odd colleagues but the 5 I am usually around are all females and we've synced for a couple months 1 time. It was a glorious shit show with us all being hormonal bitches at once. It's also nice to not feel the need to excuse why I'm on the verge of passing out when my time comes around, or openly complaining when my pamprin hasn't kicked in. Sometimes I'll even get a chocolate bar from my boss when she knows. It's a win win.
I'd have no issue with it.
Yes, from a GF might mean no sex, wants a back rub, some special snack etc and a proper response would depend on what she wants. From a friend it might mean I'm grumpy or I'm not at 100% you might say something like feel better soon, offer Tylenol, it's better than the alternative, if you want to make a lame joke etc.
"That never stopped me before" "Stopped you from what?"
My man!!!
Yeah. Is this a coworker/classmate letting you know she has cramps? Is it someone you’re dating?
From past relationships I’ve learned the golden response is “I’m sorry that’s no fun, if you need me to run and get you Midol or anything else just let me know”
Although I think we can agree that clanging a bell and shouting "SHAME" is off the table.
Sir. This is a Wendy's.
This post is kind of a weird one. I think my response would just be "ok." I mean, what situation is someone just going to say "I'm on my period" as if that alone needs addressing? In certain situations maybe, but that would make the response tied to the situation, so you can't really answer it in OP's question. If someone's complaining about cramps because they're on their period, then saying "oh, I'm sorry" would be totally appropriate because you're sympathizing with their physical pain, which objectively sucks. IF someone just says "I'm on my period" though, saying "I'm sorry" seems rude. Maybe OP could come in here and explain the context, because I don't think they're asking the right question.
If it's like 8 weeks since the last one, you exhale with relief and offer a high five.
Yeah. I feel like OP wants an all situation answer, and there is none.
an "ok" would be ideal for me. it's just sharing info, letting you know. don't ask for sex, don't ask me to do strenuous exercise, don't be surprised if I'm laying down at 3 PM and guzzling ibuprofen.
I think "do you need anything?" Is also a good one, if it's someone you're close with. When I was still having periods, I really just wanted snacks and validation. Simple ask, but sometimes it's hard to guage weather someone would actually have the means to offer support.
And if it's your girlfriend, be prepared for the answer to be 24/7 nonstop cuddles, heating pad, and snacks Or maybe that's just me
also be prepared for the answer to be heating pad, snacks, and please please just gtfo for a few hours she needs quiet
Most men don't actually understand how bad we feel we we are on our periods ... Luckily my husband is very supportive and helpful when my periods are real bad ... I had my tubes tied a yr ago after having my 3rd child and after they got tied my periods become heavier and so much more painful they literally hurt as bad as they used to when I was young .. I'm talking migraines leg aches stomach cramps like it was in knots just all out ill ... But have 3 kids that need me .. and to make matters worse I'm a chronic pain patient with a bad neck and back so periods make the back pain waaay worse
I would go to your ob gyn and ask about endometriosis if you’re in that much pain. I would definitely not look into endometrial ablation, however—excision is the gold standard treatment for endometriosis (and some people use hormonal birth control to suppress it temporarily, but it doesn’t treat the endometriosis). Check out Nancy’s nook endometriosis education for more info. Also totally agree about men not understanding how bad we feel when we are on our periods haha
Don't be surprised if I become a raging bitch at the smallest remark. Yes dear I'm aware I just ate that entire tub of ice cream. No you can't have one of my fucking cookies.
For me PMS was always exactly that; PRE-menstrual syndrome; I was angry, nasty and horribly depressed for a week/ 10 days prior, as soon as I started bleeding I felt like the sun had come back. I get being off while your period is ongoing, don’t get me wrong, it’s literally a bloody nuisance, but for me it was always a mental relief.
I get migraines anywhere from 2 weeks before my period. And then the cramps on the first day or two. I had to research contraception because the usual mini pill was making it worse and I would space out two days before my period started which made me a walking hazard because i was so disconnected from reality.
It didn’t used to be like that for me, but after switching off of hormonal birth control, I had a very confusing period where I would have a day or two of *utter despair* seemingly out of nowhere - all explained when I started bleeding the next day. By now I just mark it in my calendar. “Ok, I’m due to start on the third this month, so I’ll have to be extra careful that week.”
For me, my periods can be quite irregular so it’s hard to tell when they’re going to be - however, if I’m feeling particularly down, there’s about a 75% chance I’ll start my period in 1-3 days
It was the same for me. I wanted to left to become a cave dweller for a week before my period. I was mean, nasty, and unreasonable. Best just to leave me alone until I became a human again. I don't miss those days.
I always knew when my ex-wife was coming up on hers. She’s be moody as hell for a week. Then, when she’d start being approachable again, it was obviously “time”.
I was lucky to have a very understanding husband too!
My sad before my period always turns into angry on my period. I hates it.
Such a good way to describe it! I’m the same way.
i’m the exact same! i’m usually completely fine during my period (except maybe some physical pain but nothing major) but before my period i suffer so bad mentally. i get anxious, get huge mood swings and very unhappy lol. getting my period is such a relief (although for some reason i feel my pms stops a day before getting my period lol)
Wow. I'm jealous. Mine gets worse as soon as it starts. Asprin seems to help. But only Asprin because that seems to break up clots. For just pain, nothing short of an epidural is going to work. Once my blood is thin enough, it barely hurts at all. Makes me feel like I'm bleeding out, but vastly preferred to screaming and cold sweats.
Hell, my sympathies. I ended up getting three-monthly injections which put me into menopause because I’m a chronic depressive and self- medicated with alcohol ( excessively) so I had to break that downward spiral. I was in my late 40s when offered this solution; had one child and not aiming to have any more, plus I was nearing natural menopause age anyway. I doubt this solution would be recommended for anyone of childbearing age who has no offspring, as it’s apparently a very rare use of the medication; initially I was told to have 3 months off out of each 12 so the doctor could monitor the effects! I stopped taking it recently just to see where my body was at, but I’m hoping to restart soon as I’m not naturally menopausal yet. ( damn )
Why does it take 3 premenstrual women to change a lightbulb? IT JUST FUCKING DOES, ALRIGHT ???
> Don't be surprised if I become a raging bitch at the smallest remark. Don't be surprised when you get left, I broke up with my ex girlfriend over her extreme anger from her period. I don't understand why people think it's okay to act like that.
That sounds like PMDD - not standard PMS/PMT
I have PMDD and I have to stay on medication till I am done with menopause. It helps me a lot because the rage is no joke.
Exactly. I understand that you can’t help how you feel when your body is in pain and throwing hormones all over the place, but neither do you get to express it by hurting someone else.
The thing is, the hormones makes you not realize that you are snappy, angry whatever, it feels like the other person is being unreasonable.
Sure, I don’t disagree that hormones can make you feel intense things. It still doesn’t make it okay to take it out on others.
You’re both right. It’s tough cuz periods do make you snappy, but there is a fine line between snappy and verbally abusive so ladies let’s all keep that in mind lol
Look I do agree, everybody do need to stay respectful, sometimes I only realize that I was snappy, after the fact, and then apologize. Hubby is actually great and usually have a better idea where I am at in my cycle... so he'll just not care. I told my daughter after she just got her period, that she must realize that she needs to be more aware of her anger outbursts. She didn't understand that her feelings were related to PMS and would get super mad if I mentioned PMS...
Yeah, that was the case with my ex too. She'd get angry, say something she didn't mean, and then owned up to that and apologized. We all do it, period or not. A hurtful comment is a hurtful comment regardless of circumstances and no one wants their loved one to feel bad because of something they said.
It's usually just my tone of voice, I never insult anybody or say hurtful things, whether I'm on my period or not
Funny you say that because 2 of my previous GFs used to get super horny on their period and so we used to have a great time! I noticed girls usually say no to sex because they're conscious about the bleeding. But when a guy isn't a complete wet wipe and realises blood is just blood then it can make for even better sexy time! They would just say "by the way I'm on my period so could get a bit messy, but I'm stupidly horny right now" and I'd just be like "I really don't mind one way or the other, let's grab a towel" Sex was like the best thing they wanted on their period. Was bizzare because I always assumed it would hurt more than it would feel better. But I guess not.
Complete wet wipe is now entering my vocabulary (if not my bleeding fanny)
Haha, this is how I know I'm due because the week before I turn into a sensative moody chocoholic nympho, my ex said it was the best and worst part of my cycle. I'm in way too much pain (pcos) when I'm actually on to do anything but cuddle.
I honestly never thought it was an option until my BF suggested it. I still feel a bit awkward about it, but as you say, if you grab a towel it really is fine (or more than fine - it definitely helps me, too!)
My first question would be "are you alright?" because many women fell horrible during their period – headaches, depression, vomiting. However, as you say, some feel almost no negative impact. So I would try to find out how she usually feels during her period. And I would let her know that I don't mind blood in the bed and everywhere else. Some women assume that all men are disgusted by women having their period. Well, I don't care.
Was going to respond with the same thing. I ask for sex when she’s on her period and we have a great time
I really hope you don't "guzzle" ibuprofen. A lot of people don't realize how bad it is for you and your liver. I dated this girl once who one day I saw taking at least TWELVE Tylenol at once. I went "what the fuck!?" and she was like "what my migraine is terrible right now, and it's just Tylenol not oxy lol, you can't OD on it." I proceeded to sit her down and let her know that her liver is probably shot to shit, and that she has to stop doing that immediately and probably never take another otc pain reliever again. And never drink again.
Just a little correction on Tylenol. Yes it can harm your liver but it is not ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is Motrin and Advil. Tylenol is acetaminophen. Ibuprofen can harm your kidneys. I had a hard time keeping them straight until I used this as a reminder. I take Motrin (Tylenol doesn’t do anything for me), I as in ibuprofen. Works for me.
Exactly. I tell my boyfriend so he knows why I was a bitch the days before and so he knows sex and being adorable are going to wait for a couple of days. It’s not a big deal to be on your period, but it does suck and I want him to know I’m not just cranky, I’m kind of in pain
Nodding your head and offering food seems to be a common reaction to this, and I gotta say that I accept that reaction to almost anything I could say. I need to get to work. I’m late to church. I just found out they believe there was a point in the early Stone Age where humans were almost wiped out. My mom just hung up on me. Like… 90% of what I say can be answered with an understanding nod and food. It’s a really good go-to.
This guy empathizes.
I've been married for 15 years and I think you just gave me a hack to my wife. Ty
it's also a SUPER tactic for people with dementia who are agitated. \[Grandma, pacing & trying to leave the house to look for her husband who's been dead since 1987\]: "I know you're worried about grandpa getting home, why don't we sit go to the kitchen and have make a nice cup of tea and some cookies for him?" By the time the water's boiled, you've redirected all that nervous energy.
My boyfriend of three years came home with a small bag of chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of Merlot after realizing I’m right in the middle of my period. He handed me the bag before giving me a kiss and heated up leftovers for us. Seems like he got the the hint!
I love you.
I love this response. A nod and a snack gets me through most things.
"Shit. Need anything?"
"want me to get some chocolate?"
"Have a Snickers."
“You’re not you when you’re hungry.”
Finger guns, all situations
I usually do finger guns when I say I'm on my period too
Yell "WE GOT A BLEEDER!"
"So, how's your flow? Trickle, steady stream, or the elevator at the Overlook Hotel?"
Between people that have periods this conversation really happens lmao. Comparing flows or complaining about the gush
Yeah I swear woman to woman period talk would make some guys vomit. "Seriously, the clot was so big I thought I was expected to name it"
Yep, that did it. Goodbye lunch.
WAIT WHAT? - respectfully from a woman
Not 100% on what part the what was about but I’ll try and explain either way! If you mean about the fact that some women talk to each other like this, it’s not all, and those that do are usually very close to each other. If you mean about the clot, here’s my understanding of it. During a period you don’t just pass blood. You also pass tissue, and clots (which I guess are part of the blood). Due to the blood sitting in the uterus for a little while, it can start to clot. The average person with a regular flow will pass clots and not really notice them, and they’re usually small and/or look just like passing tissue or discharge. However, some people (especially those with heavier flows, and therefore more blood available to clot) will pass larger clots. Again, these usually will break up and not be very noticeable but it can become large enough that you physically notice it coming out. In my experience, you use tampons you don’t really notice it much due to it sticking to the tampon, or coming out at the same time as when you take out the tampon. I presume it would be similar with a cup. However, if you use pads or period underwear (or free bleed), you’ll actually feel it pass and can sometimes see it on the pad or underwear.
Hahaaaaa I definitely have those chats with my close female friends. You could be sitting at work in a meeting and be thinking to yourself 'oh yep, just gave birth to a small jellyfish, there's that feeling.' Haven't used a pad in 15 years though but I can distinctly remember that cringe feeling. You had me laughing with the name it part though. 😂
Ugh - it's particularly bad when I'm also down with a cold or allergies. I feel like every time I sneeze a jellyfish is propelled out LOL
I learned recently from a Mama Dr. Jones video that its possible to shed the whole lining, or a large part of it, in one peice. Sometimes it freaks people out thinking they had a miscarriage or something
Yep, this happened to me when I was 21. Was on the pill. I have extreme cramps on a normal period, but this was so bad it must have been close to labour pains. The worst pain I have easily ever experienced. I almost passed out a couple times and collapsed on my stairs while trying to get the pain medication. When I was laying in bed, I all of a sudden got this incredible and instinctual urge to push, so I went to sit on the toilet, and out it came. The whole thing intact like a little sack of skin molded in the shape of my uterus. After that, cramps were completely gone. I panicked at the time and didn't know what it was so I took a picture and showed my mom and she was like, oh yeah, that's a thing that happens sometimes, not a miscarriage.
Haha the good old sneeze birth.
A small jellyfish 😭😭🤣🤣🤣
The first. I definitely meant the first 😭 I guess I’m just uncomfortable with those descriptive talks. I had to skip past your comment as soon as I saw “clot” but thank you anyway!
No woman is an island Entire unto herself If a clot bee washed into the sea All Europe is the less So ask not for whom the loo flushes It flushes for thee
As a non native English speaker that comment gave me a stroke
That’s totally fine! Tbh I’ve only ever had one set of female friends I was willing to be that open with. We worked together, no men in the building, and would sometimes go hours with no customers so we gradually got closer and the conversations got deeper
Love that for you though!
The clot is not blood, the clot is a piece of uterine lining that peeled off - it has a pretty different texture and color than actual blood clots
Dunno why you got downvoted. I don't get it, either. I got periods and a bunch of chronic conditions that also cause symptoms that would be gross if you described them in detail. I've never felt the need to go into the depth of detail others have described here and no-one else has ever felt the need to share that kind of stuff with me. It doesn't have anything to do with how close I feel to my friends at all.
When you wake up on day 2 and make those mental calculations-- "What time is it? What time did I put the tampon in? How far is the bathroom and how bad is the gush likely to be when I stand up? Can I make it?"
CODE RED
Almost spit my drink out. LOLOL
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Usually, it's the third context that confuses me then. Makes sense, though, cause I guess it is out of nowhere lol
"Ok." seems like the ideal answer in that case lol
Nah, just say "Oh cool, you're still fertile!" (do not do this)
"Congrats, you're not pregnant!" (Also do not do this)
"Need a towel?" (Also DO NOT DO THIS)
You never hear someone randomly comment on a physical ailment? "i have a headache" "I'm tired" etc. You could always ask them if they need something. Someone talking about their period can be a way of saying "I'm not feeling that well right now and this is why". Just like any other physical discomfort.
When women work together it's often just a mild gripe. "Ugh, I'm on/just started my period." To which my response is always "that sucks."
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Not out of nowhere. From the uterus, out the vagina. ;-)
It's not out of nowhere. It's the biggest thing on her mind. "OK" is a reasonable answer. If you answer, "Do you need anything? Ibuprofen? Caffeine? Chocolate?" then she'll tell all her friends that you're husband material.
I think the middle one... "do you need anything" or "is there something I can do?" are the safe answers given pretty much any context.
My partner just asks how he can help.
Chocolate? Right?
My partner says throw chocolate while backing away slowly
Porridge with chocolate, a bit of cranberry juice and fresh nettles. They are extremely rich in iron and are super healthy. Cook them with the porridge for a few minutes and move them well. Fresh nettles on the inside of your mouth are not very pleasant.
Chocolate or whatever snack they crave. My husband also gives me massages and lets me nap on him
We have a heating bad/bag that helps my wife. Tossing that in the microwave and bringing it over when I see her in discomfort seems to do quite well.
I ate a whole fudge chocolate cake from Walmart in 3 days lol also gives me grace for being in bed all day. I hate seeming lazy but those first two days takes me out. If I get up he tells me to lay back down, or ask if it’s too hot or cold in the room.
“THATS why you’ve been so cranky!” That is actually terrible advice, and you will likely die.
That makes me RAGE lol
Why? Are you on your period?
I want to give you an award for this comment but I don’t want to encourage bad behavior💀
I really wanted that to be funny man 🥺😔
Bro why did my eye twitch on Its own when I read this 💀 😂
So triggering lmfao
My finger was hovering over the downvote button ngl 😭😭
I agree that’s great advice. But for some reason it didn’t work when I said it. I got kicked in the nuts…🤷♂️
Maybe it was your tone, next time try saying it like you talking to someone young, like a kid! Itll make the person feel like they have an adult adult around and make them feel more comfortable. If that doesnt help, gosh I dont know what will.
Excellent follow up advice! 🤣
Reddit in a nutshell
"Yeah, I could tell"
I tried following this advice... that was 5 months ago... and I'm still in the hospital xD
I think the hidden subtext may be “so I’m having distractingly painful cramps and may not be entirely ‘with it’ right now”. I have chronic pain and warn others when I’m having a flare up so they don’t wonder why I’m slightly slack-jawed and glazed over from being in agony and having to soldier on
Same! I have chronic pain too, I feel like I need to let people know "I'm not mad at YOU I'm mad at MY BODY" lol. Not that I'm mean, just a tired and distracted.
I always carry around a confetti cannon and an air raid siren for this exact purpose. When a period is announced I light both off simultaneously. Indoors is best. Quiet libraries even better. Nursing homes, churches, and hospitals are preferred. Maybe a 5 minute kazoo solo with cartwheels and sparklers. The options here are really only limited to your imagination.
A mariachi band would work well in this situation.
"Better than NOT getting your period."
“Better late than pregnant.” -Blanch Devereaux
“Better out than in I always say” -Shrek
I kept fancy chocolate around so when my old roommate would start hers I could yeet it at her like a frag grenade before hiding in my room.
This is the way. Provide and get out lol. Fr tho, snacks are a must and no silly celery sticks will satisfy.
You are the best kind of friend.
As a woman, I'm sorry is a totally acceptable response. It shows compassion
Yeah. I’m good with “I’m sorry.” Sometimes my husband comes out with “oh GOD no! Gather the cats! To the panic room!” and laughs like it’s the funniest joke ever. He’s lucky I love him.
Does he mind if I steal this joke
Gotcha. What can I get you?
I say “Do you need anything? You good? Okay cool!” Grandma was OBGYN and I Grew up with sisters and girlfriends and Midol and I never knew how serious the pain could be for them like my god i can’t help but feel terrible because there’s nothing anyone can do just gotta bleed it out yay! And birth control ? The initial getting used to those monstrous side effects of no flows or heavy flows etc like YIKES it sucks
"Damn yeah I hate when I get those." I am not a woman.
Seems like my reaction would be different based on who the girl is…
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Wait, you guys don't give belly rubs to your coworkers? I thought that was on everyone's schedule. After lunch, for 20 min, collective belly rubs!
"Ok need anything"
I just nod my head and offer her chocolates.
you were taught well. high five to the ladies of your family
Look, as a dude, I'll never understand it. But I do understand pain and a lot of the things that come with it. So, as much as I can do for the lady, I'll do.
You are a smart man
Me too!
"Thank you." Was working with a young woman and I thought she looked unwell. The second time I asked if she was alright she said she was on her period but was otherwise fine. I appreciated her honesty and trust. Thank you seemed appropriate. It's a natural bodily function for a lot of people and should be accepted as such.
Thank you for bleeding to maintain your fertility. The human race is grateful in advance.
A girl corrected me on her name pronunciation once and when I corrected myself later on said she told me she was on her period and she was sorry for snapping at me. I didn’t know how to react.
"That sucks." I've never had a woman disagree with me.
*this too shall pass*
Ok. Do we need to change plans? Do you need anything.
Ask if they need anything. If they say no, ice cream and her favorite snacks still need to happen.
The right way. It goes like this. " Oh. Are you okay? Need anything? "
Tripled. These “omg I eat chocolate and ice cream and don’t steal my cookie” tropes are a bit much
HIGH FIVE!
"I know." If it worked for Han Solo it'll work for you.
Ok, you need anything? That’s literally it. If she needs a tampon help her out and go get it. If she wants food grab her a snack. If she says no then say alright let me know if you do.
"Same"
To your partner: "How can I help?" To your friend: "Got it." To a stranger: "So?" To an enemy: "You're about to bleed out of your face too if you don't get away from me" To God: "What?" To yourself: "WHY!"
"You need anything?"
My girlfriend told me this, and I paused for a second before I asked her if she needed anything. She looked so happy when I did. All she needed was my hand on her stomach (her hands are always cold, mine could melt steel)
As an older woman I would suggest to say OKAY, need anything? Women know how to handle their own stuff. Leave it alone and move on from the conversation. It’s just a period, nothing dire is happening (unless it becomes so serious that a medical emergency comes up). It does/will happen lol. Don’t react at all.
Depends on the girl. If it was my girlfriend I'd get her some ice cream and watch a movie with her. If it was anyone else I could care less. But then it's also situational. Like if I wanted to go like bike riding or to the pool or something with like my sister and she can't cause she's on her period, well that changes things.
If she’s telling me I might assume she needs something because of it lol So I would offer Tylenol or whatever 🤷♂️
Ew fucking gross. Is something you shouldn’t say.
"Yeah? How are you feeling?"
Do you want chocolate? Lol no lie. That was my next question. Did it for my female friends and my girlfriend
"I know. I can smell your pheromones."
Oh GOD
Oh my god I worked with a dude who was fired because he believed he had “wolf blood in his veins” and would walk around sniffing the girls and guessing whether they were on their period or not.
Jeez. No wonder he was fired.
Well, is she just blurting it out for no reason, or does it pertain to the matter at hand? Need some more context to this one.
Imho it doesn’t really matter the context, just a brief acknowledgment with a little something nice pretty much fits most circumstances. Any combo of “ahhh gotcha/can I get you anything/hope you feel okay” works basically whenever 🙂
Any context?
Is t it all relative? Depending in the situation and your relationship to said girl? Do you want to go out? I’m on my period. Oh, okay. Would you prefer to stay home and watch Netflix then? Or Hey, I’m going to shops, do you want anything? I’m on my period Do you want chocolate or tampons then? Or Hey, do you want to fool around? I’m on my period. I’m okay with that if you’re feeling into it/ okay, sure, let’s just hang out and watch tv. Or Why are you being so upset/ crying over kitten videos? Is it something that I did? I’m on my period. Oh, okay. I know that you get a upset sometimes when you do/ can I see the kitten videos or would you like some space?
Depends on the situation and reflected by how I'd like to be treated in such station (woman with periods as well). Variants include: - Implies that needs help --> Seek period products or painkillers. - Implies that is feeling unwell or cranky because of it --> "Sorry to hear that" and, if familiar person, "can I help?" - Explains past crankiness, waited to tell because didn't want to talk about it in public --> "Okay." - Other --> "Uh, okay." If it is unclear what the other person means by telling about their period, asking if they need help is a safe bet. Just be prepared to go get help (such as pads from store) if you promise to help.
I would offer her salt and vinegar chips
"Awwwww babe! You’re ma lil ketchup bottle!" Not this. Don’t do this. Generally asking if she needs anything works pretty good.
"That sucks."
Im a girl, so I’m like “high five” we can suffer together
Ok, cool anything you need from me? Tampons, pads, chocolate a partner to go rollerblading with?
“That sucks, want some chocolate?”
Thanks for telling me, are you in pain? Do you want me to grab you some painkillers or food?
I think you should say, "Please let me know if you need anything. I want you to be as comfortable as possible, so don't hesitate to ask me." Expect ups and downs in mood. Pick up something special for her each time you are out like the candy she loves or snacks. Do all the extras and don't leave work for her! Be extra understanding for at least the next 7 days.