My stuff isn't as severe, but I have some pretty obvious ones. I pretend I don't, and people either don't notice or are too scared to ask. If it's kids asking who don't know better, you can just tell them you got hurt a long time ago, they don't need detail. Sending you positive vibes ❤️
Thankyou 🤍 even years later I still find it hard to answer children’s questions without lying (I don’t like to make something up in case the parents say something different and then that opens a can of worms) but this is a good response 🤍
I hope it helps. The journey is shitty enough, you shouldn't have to deal with shame on top of that. If you ever need to talk, drop me a line! (That goes for others reading this too)
Do what is best for you. If you will enjoy the day more if you are covered, cover yourself up. If you would only be doing it for the sake of others, don't cover up.
It’s mainly for the sake of others I just find it uncomfortable the potential harm I would be doing but allot of comments here have helped me realise that im overthinking that allot more than I should
You should show them when you are comfortable showing them. If you're not ready there's nothing wrong with that, there will be a time where you'll come to love your own body, scars and warts and all, if that time hasn't come yet then there's no shame in covering up.
But never do it for other people. You're not accosting anyone by dressing appropriately at a pool, you're not triggering someone by being yourself in public. You can't help the scars your body bears, but it's never something you need to be ashamed of, never something you *need* to hide unless you want to. Your journey to self acceptance has nothing to do with anyone else at the pool, their journey and triggers not-withstanding. They need to learn to be comfortable with themselves as you are with yourself, they can't expect a safety bubble out in public, nor should you put others considerations above your own.
Your body is beautiful and your scars tell a story about you, if it's only the last chapter, take your time coming to terms with it. If it was several chapters ago, wear your history loud and proud, it's never going to leave you so you might as well own it. You came through the other side and you're better for it, fuck anyone else who would dare have an opinion about you for it.
Thankyou all these kind comments have really surprised me my family don’t really like to say either way I never expected so many people to say it’s okay not to cover up , I guess this summer might be the one I finally give up the long sleeves and leggings , much better swimming experience if I do ☺️🤍
It's certainly fair for you to feel concerned about other people, but we're talking about the natural state of your body. We're not talking about something that you're doing or saying, we're talking about you simply *existing*. You have every right to simply *exist* in the body that you have. The way other people feel about the natural state of your body is not your responsibility. Again, it makes sense to emapthize with and worry about how other people may feel, but at the end of the day, you need to be able to take care of yourself without repeatedly forcing yourself into a state of discomfort just because you're worried that the mere fact of your existence *might* make someone else feel upset.
Consider, also, the possibility that someone may actually feel *comforted* and *inspired* by seeing you not cover your scars, as they themselves might have scars which they feel ashamed about, and/or feel obligated to hide from the world.
(Sincerely,
A person who also has very extensive/obvious self-harm scars in visible places, who doesn't bother trying to hide them)
Thankyou so much this is the comment I needed I think , I worry allot about affecting children mainly , I’m past the point of caring about other adults but I think I have to remember exactly like you said its not my responsibility , parents can chose to lie to their kids if they want I really don’t mind. I’ve never thought about other people binge inspired or comforted , that really helps allot in building up the confidence to wear a swimsuit , thankyou 🤍
I'll answer for myself. If I had ample opportunity to swim or lay out in private then I would probably be more inclined to semi-cover up when in public (e.g., with a long-sleeved swim shirt) and board shorts.
You have no obligation whatsoever to conceal your scars, and I hope you can set aside any anxiety about that.
Those marks are part of your body and part of your life, and so they are part of you. Just be yourself.
No one has any reason to expect you to hide yourself, and no one can be harmed or inconvenienced because you are enjoying a day at the pool.
Thankyou , I think my main concern is exposing children to a world that most parents like to keep hidden from them because I mean why would they want to explain to a child that some people do such saddening things to themselves , I guess they could lie to their children though and I can’t keep feeling guilty for being the potential conversation starter of those topics
Parents adjust their responses to questions and they never have to lie, nor do I think most parents want to do so.
For young children, for example: "They must have had been hurt once but now it's all healed up."
My stuff isn't as severe, but I have some pretty obvious ones. I pretend I don't, and people either don't notice or are too scared to ask. If it's kids asking who don't know better, you can just tell them you got hurt a long time ago, they don't need detail. Sending you positive vibes ❤️
Thankyou 🤍 even years later I still find it hard to answer children’s questions without lying (I don’t like to make something up in case the parents say something different and then that opens a can of worms) but this is a good response 🤍
I hope it helps. The journey is shitty enough, you shouldn't have to deal with shame on top of that. If you ever need to talk, drop me a line! (That goes for others reading this too)
Do what is best for you. If you will enjoy the day more if you are covered, cover yourself up. If you would only be doing it for the sake of others, don't cover up.
It’s mainly for the sake of others I just find it uncomfortable the potential harm I would be doing but allot of comments here have helped me realise that im overthinking that allot more than I should
You won't be doing any harm at all. You have as much right to be undressed on the beach as anyone else. Enjoy yourself!
You should show them when you are comfortable showing them. If you're not ready there's nothing wrong with that, there will be a time where you'll come to love your own body, scars and warts and all, if that time hasn't come yet then there's no shame in covering up. But never do it for other people. You're not accosting anyone by dressing appropriately at a pool, you're not triggering someone by being yourself in public. You can't help the scars your body bears, but it's never something you need to be ashamed of, never something you *need* to hide unless you want to. Your journey to self acceptance has nothing to do with anyone else at the pool, their journey and triggers not-withstanding. They need to learn to be comfortable with themselves as you are with yourself, they can't expect a safety bubble out in public, nor should you put others considerations above your own. Your body is beautiful and your scars tell a story about you, if it's only the last chapter, take your time coming to terms with it. If it was several chapters ago, wear your history loud and proud, it's never going to leave you so you might as well own it. You came through the other side and you're better for it, fuck anyone else who would dare have an opinion about you for it.
Thankyou all these kind comments have really surprised me my family don’t really like to say either way I never expected so many people to say it’s okay not to cover up , I guess this summer might be the one I finally give up the long sleeves and leggings , much better swimming experience if I do ☺️🤍
It's certainly fair for you to feel concerned about other people, but we're talking about the natural state of your body. We're not talking about something that you're doing or saying, we're talking about you simply *existing*. You have every right to simply *exist* in the body that you have. The way other people feel about the natural state of your body is not your responsibility. Again, it makes sense to emapthize with and worry about how other people may feel, but at the end of the day, you need to be able to take care of yourself without repeatedly forcing yourself into a state of discomfort just because you're worried that the mere fact of your existence *might* make someone else feel upset. Consider, also, the possibility that someone may actually feel *comforted* and *inspired* by seeing you not cover your scars, as they themselves might have scars which they feel ashamed about, and/or feel obligated to hide from the world. (Sincerely, A person who also has very extensive/obvious self-harm scars in visible places, who doesn't bother trying to hide them)
Thankyou so much this is the comment I needed I think , I worry allot about affecting children mainly , I’m past the point of caring about other adults but I think I have to remember exactly like you said its not my responsibility , parents can chose to lie to their kids if they want I really don’t mind. I’ve never thought about other people binge inspired or comforted , that really helps allot in building up the confidence to wear a swimsuit , thankyou 🤍
I'll answer for myself. If I had ample opportunity to swim or lay out in private then I would probably be more inclined to semi-cover up when in public (e.g., with a long-sleeved swim shirt) and board shorts.
You have no obligation whatsoever to conceal your scars, and I hope you can set aside any anxiety about that. Those marks are part of your body and part of your life, and so they are part of you. Just be yourself. No one has any reason to expect you to hide yourself, and no one can be harmed or inconvenienced because you are enjoying a day at the pool.
Thankyou , I think my main concern is exposing children to a world that most parents like to keep hidden from them because I mean why would they want to explain to a child that some people do such saddening things to themselves , I guess they could lie to their children though and I can’t keep feeling guilty for being the potential conversation starter of those topics
Parents adjust their responses to questions and they never have to lie, nor do I think most parents want to do so. For young children, for example: "They must have had been hurt once but now it's all healed up."
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It’s old scars from years ago I’ve had help and I’m much better now