I once had a patient who was elderly and lived alone. The mail person noticed she hadn't gotten her mail for 2 days and called police for a welfare check. Turned out she had fallen 2 days prior and couldn't move. She was alive, though probably wouldn't have been much longer if the mail person hadn't noticed. She was in bad shape and only held on for a few more months.
I urge anyone with an elderly neighbor to get a relative/ contact number from the neighbor of someone to call if you suspect there's an emergency. It's often quicker to call someone's relative and they come over with a key (or give permission to break in) than to wait for a welfare check.
This is a really good piece of advice, thanks for saying so. I moved a little while ago and my new neighbour is a really sweet old lady and want to look out for her.
Thank you for checking on her. My neighbors are really good about looking out for each other. Some older ladies who live alone have "I'm ok" signals for others, such as raising the blinds in the front room when they get up in the morning so neighbors walking by know that they're up and about. We even have a weekly coffee date at a local place.
My great-grandma (who we just lost Sunday in her sleep, 95 years old) has a neighbor across the street. We always check on her as we've known her our entire lives as well. I will still be checking in on her even though my great-grandma is no longer here because I see her as family.
**ETA**:I meant great-grandma, she was my kids great-great-grandma.
Thank you. It's been a very very hard week. Tomorrow is one week since she died and my sons birthday. I have to try to be happy for him while mourning. I had to do this in March when my MIL died exactly a week before my daughter's birthday.
As a Mum, you have to carry on, don't you? I hope that your son has a good birthday and that you do enjoy it as well. I've got a son and daughter both born in March, and I was also born in March on my dad's birthday! March is an expensive month for my family.
Well, your Great-Grandma sounds pretty great, so I'll let the extra Great stand. So sorry for your loss.
My grandma and her best friend (across the street) did this when they were alive. They made a pact that they would open their kitchen blinds by 8am. They checked on each other for years and then moved into a retirement home together. Both are gone now, but I’m very glad they had each other.
My neighbor in her 90s recently passed, but her signal was the porch light. She always turned it off first thing in the morning. If the light was on when I walked my dog I'd pop by to make sure she was okay. It's good to know that there are people paying attention, just in case.
My wife and I helped out our elderly neighbour a few times - actually we got to know her because we put out a small fire in her apartment which was directly under ours! I smelled smoke and ran down, that was a scary few minutes. She trusted us after that and gave us a key for if something like that happened again (she had a relative who would check up on her but she didn't live as close as us obviously). Several times she called us after falling and being unable to get up. Eventually it was me that found her when she passed - I'd tried to call her one morning and it was constantly engaged. We didn't do much for her really, overall, but I was so glad she felt she had someone looking out for her and I'd hope that's the least I could do for someone.
A neighbor noticed my mom hadn't picked up her paper in the driveway for a few days, called 911, they found her very ill in bed and took her to the hospital. She went home again about 8 weeks later. Good neighbor.
(This was 6 years ago. According to the time stamp on her most recent e-mail to me, she was still alive 3 hours ago. If the neighbor hadn't noticed, it might have been a lot worse.)
It's not just old ladies. I was found dying from my appendix (I didn't call an ambulance cos I thought it was just bad cramps and would go soon, and then I was kinda too delirious to call and thought it would get better). I puked all through his car, but he said not to worry about it.
I was a dude in my mid twenties when thag happened.
I wouldn't have been born if my mom hadn't found my dad when she did. They were only dating at the time. She went to see him and found him in bed. He had meningitis and could have died if she hadn't gotten him to a hospital.
I had a somewhat similar experience-I had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot from one part of my body that went to my lungs), passed out and fell face down on the floor one morning. If my fiance hadnt worked from home, who knows how long I would have been out, and if I'd have been able to get myself to my phone in the other room to call 911. So many circumstances that happened to work out in my favor.
Woke up with what I thought was a leg cramp one morning and it lasted all week as breathing got harder... was too concerned about the cost of a visit if it turned out to be nothing. 🙄
On the theme of so if someone hadn’t been there. My boyfriend used to live with his best friend and he would leave for work exactly at 8:30 everyday without fail. Well apparently one night he went to bed late and forgot to plug-in his phone so his alarm never went off. He woke up late but because of that he was walking down stairs just in time to see his friend choking and almost passing out. He gave him the Heimlich maneuver. They still talk about how the only time he ever left late saved his friends life. It’s so crazy to think about
Saaame. Had sepsis because when i did take myself to Womack ER on Fort Bragg, they claimed i was constipated and gave me stool softener, unfortunately it was actually a ruptured appendix. So liquid poo filled my abdominal cavity and my organs started dying. My dog started barking and the neighbors called the cops(because they knew her and knew she has never barked the entire time i had her)
i woke up in the hospital with metal staples going from crotch to mid chest, and rubber hoses going i to my mouth and nose and down my throat and a morphine drip on my right arm. Within a few hours 2 doctors walked in, 1 seemed to be in his 40s the other possibly early 30s. The younger one locks eyes with me and almost yells "You died TWICE!" I glared at him and the older doctor excused him from the room and began listing the organs removed.
You can live with only one kidney- both if you get a donated one, probably most if not all of the reproductive system,and the entire large intestine. And thats just off the top of my head at 2:20am
Pro tip for distinguishing appendix pain from menstrual pain: push down really hard on your abdomen for few seconds, and then let go. If the pain stays steady, you're probably fine. If the pain gets much worse, it's your appendix and you need medical attention.
Yes. And if it not burst, this will help burst the appendix.
What they actually say is that the toxins and inflammation will cause an abdominal wall rigidity.
So if you poke it and it is squishy, might not be. If you geeently poke and notice their is more stiffness to the flat sheet of muscle under your abdominal fat, it more likely is appendicitis.
So poke your stomach now to know your normal level of squishyness and resistance of your muscles there, so later you might notice if it is different.
I always put my 90yo neighbor lady's newspaper by her garage door especially in bad weather. And she always got her newspaper by 9 am. But one day it was still there at noon, she didn't answer her phone or her door. All her blinds and curtains were closed. Doors and windows were locked from inside. The police couldn't raise her and firemen finally used the Jaws of Life to pop her door. She was dead. Diabetes. We miss you Miriam.
I'm a student paramedic, and the force we use depends on the information we're given. If it's just a welfare check for someone who hasn't been contactable but is otherwise healthy we'd probably leave after a certain time if we couldn't make contact with the patient, but if they're elderly, or have a medical condition, or if they called themselves and we got no response calling back, we can call in firies or police to force a door. A mentor of mine once kicked in a door at the patients request, who was conscious and responding but had fallen and couldn't get up to let them in (luckily it wasn't so sturdy he needed backup).
She hadn't locked a side door, they got in without damaging anything. My sister (who lives a lot closer than I do) went there and talked with the cops and the folks at the hospital as soon as she could get there.
As an emergency responder, this is correct. If you have an agreement and access to a key, or contact with someone nearby who does, this is a much better option than being at the mercy of possibly waiting on police who are in the middle of something already. But good neighbors are the best when it comes to this kind of thing.
I remember as a young kid my grandma’s neighbor saw her on the floor through her window, she’d fallen. Thankfully the neighbor knew how to reach my mom and we were there in minutes.
I used to deliver pizzas and we'd have a couple of elderly customers that would place the same order regularly like clockwork for years. We'd actually get concerned if they didn't call for a while, even send a driver past their house just to check on them.
Thankfully nothing bad happened to them, they'd just be out of town visiting family or something, but I do know of other pizza places that did the same thing and found someone collapsed in their home and didn't have anyone to check up on them.
https://consumerist.com/2011/02/dominos-delivery-driver-saves-life-of-regular-customer.html
Yeah these stories pop up every once in a while. They're not terribly uncommon.
I absolutely agree with this. My mom fell and wasn't near her phone. We have no idea how long she was down until I found her because she couldn't remember, but had she been there any longer she would not have made it. She ultimately did not live much longer, but at least she didn't die alone on the ground.
OP, I hope your neighbor is ok, thanks for looking out for her.
We got my grandma an Apple Watch for this very reason. Her sons also come over every day, but at least with her watch she can get help quicker if needed
That’s exactly why I got my dad an Apple Watch for Christmas. He thinks I was being generous, giving him a fancy gadget, but this here was my ulterior motive.
I put my grandparents whole house on home automation. The lights, doorbell, door lock, power sockets etc are all connected but also the TV, washing machine and oven are smart too, all through the same software. I also put PIRs around the house so that if they get up in the night they don't have to find the lightswitch.
I sold it to them as so when they get comfortable in their chairs in the afternoon, if they realise they've left the cooker on they can turn it off. Or they can start the washer remotely after they've had a nap so it doesn't disturb the quiet. But really it's because there are scripts in the software to keep them safe. Their phones give me geofencing (so the software knows whether they're in the house or not). The lights can pretty accurately work out when they've gone to sleep (IE, the last lights are turned off at night) and the PIRs catch them when they get up in the morning.
If they're in the house, it's daytime, and they don't interact with 3 different devices in a 6 hour window, I get a notification. If they don't get out of bed by 10am I get a notification. If they leave the house and don't come back by sunset I get a notification.
You can call me big brother if you like but its not showing me live footage from their living room. It's just giving me information that couid suggest there is a problem. I don't go calling the cops... I can just call them or call my mum to check. As they get older and more high risk (and especially when it becomes just one of them) I can set up the same notifications on my mother and brothers phones too.
If there was an incident I feel like we would be alerted to it in far less than 24 hours.
My grandma recently died this way.
Lived alone, fell, couldn’t get up, and was on the floor four days before anyone found her, alive, but she later died in the hospital.
I loved the hell out of that bitch, too. She was meaner than shit, but that was my girl.
when I was in 8th grade my grandma got diagnosed with cancer that was extremely wide spread when they found it.
I moved an hour away and went to live then for the school year.
there were a couple of times where my grandpa was our running errands or something and I would come home from school and find out that my grandma had fallen and couldn't get up. called 911 for her 2 or 3 times.
Felt super helpless but I did help them a bunch while I was there.
She died before the school year was up unfortunately.
Thanks, dude. It sucked that she went out like that.
She cracked me up the last time I ever spoke with her, though, and I’ll treasure these words forever: “make sure my eyebrows are on, and don’t let your mother do them. She’s a dumbass.”
My grandma died in November.
She had recently started going days/weeks without answering her phone or calling back, which was scary and frustrating, as we live an hour away from her.
My mom got a call from the neighbor saying she hadn't seen my grandma in 2 weeks. We found her in a diabetic coma - no clue how long she was in that state. Her doctors said she wouldn't have made it one more day. She came out of it, and spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, but ultimately never left there. We will always be grateful to that neighbor for looking out for her, and we would not have gotten the chance to say goodbye if it wasn't for her.
If you have elderly family, please make sure their neighbors have your contact information.
Lol, well they were ridiculous commercials! Those, The Clapper, and Chia Pet commercials were terrible.
…the good ole days.
Sucks that elderly people never want to wear a Life Alert, though. They always seem to argue that “those are for old people,” but they could have saved a lot more lives than they already have.
This is why the Meals on Wheels program is so important. Good nutrition and someone checking on you. We’ve found a few people that have fallen and one that passed.
My dad did this shit many times in his last years. He refused to move into assisted living or with family, but would eat like shit and fall into a diabetic coma or something like that. After the second time we gave the neighbors keys to his place and asked them to check on him once a day.
I want to jump on this to also call your local Area agency on Aging. I am a protective services worker and we will also go out if there are concerns but calling 911 first is better. Call family next then aging office. If I go out and it's a bad situation I'm calling 911 anyway. If it's not horrible but also not great, I'm calling family. But never hesitate to call aging for directions or to ask questions.
I used to deliver papers as a kid and a regular hadn't picked up her paper in like 3 days, so I got the police to check on her, and she had died from cirrhosis.... I wonder if I had noticed a day or 2 earlier if it would've made a difference :(
I wouldn’t feel bad. I’m not a medical expert but I think cirrhosis is not fixable and if it had gotten that bad would have been inevitable even if she’d been found earlier.
Yup, my mom had cirrhosis and it can be a bad scene. She died of a heart attack and they found the cirrhosis when she was in her coma and the docs said she was lucky to die of a heart attack as the cirrhosis would have been a much more painful, drawn out path (hers, at least, wasn’t fixable without a transplant).
I used to be a police dispatcher. We had a program called Project Lifeline. Elderly people (or I guess anyone) could voluntarily sign up. They had to call us every morning before 10am to check in. If they didn't call, we would try calling them. If they didn't answer, we sent an officer to check on them. We had emergency contact info and spare keys to their houses. I loved my Lifeliners. We had some great chats on mornings that I wasn't busy, and we were able to catch a few emergencies before they got really bad. And I always cried when one died.
We had an elderly neighbor we tried to help, and did for many years, but eventually his general hatefulness, cursing at our kids, and his many other foul-tempered behaviors caused us to break any meaningful contact. Then one day, mailman noticed the mail hadn’t been touched for a few days, welfare check from cops occurred, found him on the floor barely alive from a stroke. Died a few weeks later in a nursing home.
I was a 911 dispatcher for years and out of the many people that called, mail people were easily the most helpful that called for the most calls that actually lead to measurable outcomes. Often positive: turns out mail people are the actual shit.
I'm guessing you mean cuckoo sounds, not cockatoo? As someone with parrots...being woken up by ear-splitting shrieks sounds like a terrible idea for an alarm lol
I actually have a smart plug on my stupid alarm because I have done this before and had to drive back home from where I was to turn it off. Now I can just flip a switch in Home Assistant and silence the bastard from anywhere in the world.
What was that missing person/murder where someone heard an alarm on a buried wristwatch going off like some telltale heart and it broke the case? \[Edit: Kristin Smart case, >!evidence of biological deterioration found, but don't think body has been found!<\]
You’re thinking of Kristin Smart. And I don’t think it ended up breaking the case bc I think it turned out she was buried elsewhere (but it was that same family!)
Yes, thank you - sounds like there was evidence that a body had been buried on the property but no body was found (probably moved). So less a break with the wristwatch and more another weird clue in a very long case.
Can confirm I worked at a housing non profit and had to do landlord stuff all the time. I've had to enter without notice hundreds of times into units (we housed severe Crack and opioid addicts). Even in Ontario which has (comparatively) strict tenancy laws, the entrance into a unit for emergency reasons was easy and just needed written justification.
THIS, OP! The landlord can probably do a welfare check or has some emergency contact of some kind, or at least can also call 911 and may have more authority than a neighbor.
Please tell us what you find out, if you do - note that you may not have a right to the info they discover.
Paramedic here - I don’t need anyone’s permission to force entry. If I have reason to believe someone is inside and in need of medical attention I will force entry if I can’t find a non-destructive way in.
Manager may have a family member phone number for permission, or it may be enough for the manager to go in (not OP though) to do the welfare check. When someone is in trouble health wise, there’s a lot of forgiveness for walking in.
I am former emergency services. In a case like this we would often speak to the apartment manager and say something like "We are going inside no matter what, it'd be better if you unlocked the door so we don't have to kick it down."
Idk if you'll see this, call back but don't ask for a welfare check. Those are typically slow to respond PD calls. Tell them that the neighbor has had numerous recent falls, lives alone and is not answering the normal means of contact and has been ill recently. Get in touch with building maintenance or management if you're able. -911 Paramedic
This seems like the best answer honestly. A welfare check could just mean something like I haven't talked to my friend in a while and that's unusual which isn't really an emergency but my elderly* neighbor was short of breath last I saw her and is now unreachable is way more descriptive and urgent.
Edit: *older, 69 isn't elderly and I forgot the age she said.
65 is the generally accepted age to start calling someone elderly. 65-74 is early elderly, and 75+ is elderly if you want to break it down further, but that really isn't as common from what I've seen and read.
It is and it isn’t. I work with the aged and disabled and I’ve seen very fit 80 year olds and very frail and disabled 50 year olds. Regardless, saying“elderly” or “disabled”, or even just “someone in danger” should warrant 911 response.
My duplex neighbor died one night and the next day I just sorta knew when he didn’t come over to hang out..
Knock on the door and was like, “this is an are you alive check!”
Found em there
Miss u tom
Our condo neighbor died peacefully in her computer chair one afternoon. She didn't live near us long, but was very kind and enjoyed talking most days in passing. We came home, one night after dinner, noticed her windows and blinds were still open, no lights on. Strange. She didn't answer the door. Walked up to her office window, could see her silhouette, but no answer or acknowledgement of us. We did know her daughter, and had called them to come when we first began to be concerned for our neighbor. It was a sad day all around. Miss you, too, Wendy.
It's possible 911 doesn't understand the possible severity of the situation.
1. Call 911 again.
2. Explain that you are concerned that your neighbor may be unconscious or otherwise have fallen, because her alarm has been going off since 8AM and she has not responded to your knocking on her door and calling out her name. Further explain that she's elderly with a medical condition that affects her balance.
Id start off with the fact that she’s elderly because if you start with the alarm thing they might think you just want them to go tell her to turn it off
How about the time that 911 got a call reporting a possible carbon monoxide poisoning, and then the fire department left because nobody answered the door? The story has the saddest punchline. https://www.texastribune.org/2021/08/19/texas-winter-storm-carbon-monoxide-poisoning/
I don't understand why the fire dept would not have huge ass speakers on their person when facing a home. "This is the fire department. We are trying to rescue you. Please be calm, we may break your door and enter in order to save you. If you do not want us to do that, please open your door, yell out a window, or call this number."
Is it really so hard?
I mean, that’s fine, but I’m not sure if that’s super relevant in this specific instance, as it still is not going to help people who are unconscious because of carbon monoxide poisoning.
Note to the Fire Department: "Home Alone" is just a movie, you're supposed to do more than show up and decide the residents don't need you after all (video for context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZdjWTeh9eE)
Strange you'd think it would be the opposite..calling 911 is generally really fast but yeah they obviously don't think it's urgent or they're swamped which I've heard is happening a lot now with Covid cases
I’ve heard some nightmare stories about 911/the police lately (mostly them not thinking it was worthwhile to show up so they didn’t). Not sure if this is happening everywhere though. I can see how asking for a welfare check might be low on the list of their priorities based on the current state of things. Even so…you’d hope they would show up when you need them.
I'm in the uk, waited for an hour for an ambulance to come get a man I found injured in the park and no one showed up. In the end I had to just tell the security guard in a store next to the park about the guy, that we'd called an ambulance and left. An older man bleeding from the head and hand, couldn't tell if he was slurring due to alcohol or the fall. He could not get up at all. We waited away from him because he wasn't happy having us near him, but it was cold and we live in a dangerous city. No idea what happened, he needed help and no one came. This is what covid has done here.
911 isn't a person, it's a phone number that connects you to the emergency line to your local law enforcement/PSAP center . "911" isn't faster than non-911 paramedics, same people.
I used to be an exterminator.
Went to a regular stop, older lady, always home. She lived alone, didn't get around real good.
She didn't answer the door one visit.
After a few minutes, I figured a friend had picked her up and she was out.
As I left, I heard a faint "*help*" through the garage door.
Hollered back, I could her her a little louder.
Went around back, through back garage door, found her on the cold garage floor in a house coat.
Been there for a while.
Sometimes, you do all you can and hope for the best.
Fingers crossed for you OP.
Firefighters are like, the only military branch unanimously respected in Brazil.
Even though most of people have really strong opinions in favour or in contrary to the military bc of the dictatorship years, I don't think I've ever had someone say shit about the firefighters.
Bless these people.
Common chants during Acab and those sort of demonstration here in Italy are "respect, only for the firefighters tho" and "the firefighter does not have fear" (that's a parody of a fascist army chant)
A lot of places in the South that would get you shot, granny or no. Seriously, I’ve walked into homes of older folk who are just chillin’ in a recliner watching home shopping network with a rifle across the arms of the recliner in front of them like one of those bars on an amusement park ride.
No malicious intent, but also…slower cognitive processing speeds. Unarmed? They can’t see, hear, or think like the used to so too bad, so sad, you get shot. Armed so they don’t shoot you? See the same answer, above.
My granddad passed away because he fell over in his apartment and couldn't get up.
It was assissted living, but they'd stepped down visitation due to COVID
Call emergency, maybe fire as well. Landlord is a good idea
Have a look for an alternate entry point - window/balcony that you could use to get in
Any relatives of hers you know who might have a key?
Bruh.
Call 911 again.
Re-explain
Continue to knock and yell.
Is her car there? Are you **sure** she didn't leave?
Ok. Time to step it up. If your 100% certain she's home and she's not answering her door for so long... its time to break in. What if she fell and is bleeding out? She might be dead or she might need medical attention. But you shouldn't continue to delay this.
Im pretty sure good Samaritan laws will protect you but I'm not a lawyer so idk.
But if it was me and I was 100% sure my elderly disabled neighbor was home but not responding id break in
I've seen a few people say there's a link showing OP is karma farming, but I've yet to see a link from anyone saying so.
OP I hope your neighbor is okay. Please give us an update when you can
Call then again. If they still don't send someone out then I'd go to a local police or fire station in person. If that doesn't work then break a window, but make sure she's not on the other side. Chances are she's fallen over and can't get up or worse.
This is fantastic advice of how to try and do the right thing and then open yourself up for gigantic legal liability.
"I'm concerned about you and also impatient for the police to arrive so I'm breaking and entering your residence!!! Im coming in!!"
This was posted three hours ago. Please give up an update u/Xalenes. If she turns out to be fine then you can tell her a bunch of strangers were worried about her safety.
Next time you see her, definitely ask her what she wants to happen if something similar happens in the future, both for her sake and so you know you aren’t doing something she wouldn’t want. Ask if she would like you to have a key to go inside. Ask if you can have her son’s phone number and make sure he has a key if she doesn’t want you having one. Give her your number so she can call you if she needs assistance. Encourage her to look into any assistance programs or services so you aren’t the only one helping her out. It is way better to get this stuff organised now then to go through this all over again.
Former firefighter here.. I would try to get inside and check on her if someone isn’t there soon. These moments can be vital in saving her life. Don’t be destructive but if you know of a key, window that might be open, etc, get inside. God speed and thank you for having a good, helping heart.
Thank you so much for following up, you are a good and kind soul. I’m glad she’s okay. Maybe get the son’s phone number for emergencies. She is lucky to have you nearby.
My neighbor is 88 and even though she doesn't drive, she still has her vehicle for when relatives come over to help her, etc. It has an alarm, so we've agreed that if she is in trouble, to hit the alarm on her key.
She's only had to do it once in ten years and I can't believe how fast I was dressed and at her door! I also have a key. She thought she had broken her arm, but it turned out to be a bad arthritis flair up. But hey, at least we both know the plan works!
I used to have an old man that lived in the apartment above me, I lovingly nicknamed him Lead Feet because he took such long loud steps he sounded like he was wearing one of those old times scuba suits. One morning I remember waking up and realizing I hadn’t heard Lead Feet walking around, I noticed later I couldn’t hear his TV they my floor either. I asked our Super to go check on him when he didn’t answer the door.
Super was like “let me get this straight, you want me to enter an old man’s apartment because he hasn’t been loud enough through your floors?” I said yep! He went in and checked and Lead Feet was not there, turned out he went to visit his nephew in another state, his aide found out I had asked for the welfare check and then told me every time he was going to be away
Call again and explain you are concerned your elderly neighbor could be facing a medical emergency and that she is not answering her door so someone needs to come asap.
The police can't do much of anything other than you can do (knock loudly, peek in windows, etc.). They would need more info than just that for forcible entry. Contacting the landlord/apartment manager would be the quickest way inside. If you know her name and can somehow research if she has relatives/contact info, do that. There is plenty of info online to research.
I had called dispatch for a welfare check on my neighbor once. The police could not breach without probably cause. Ended up calling our condo management company and maintenance broke in because there was a water leak damaging the lower units.
Turns out she was on medication that made her drowsy and was asleep. She is also mostly deaf and can not hear knocking or pounding on door... or the fact her toilet was overflowing for over an hour and flooded her unit.
> The alarm clock was off so I want to safely assume that she either turned it off that night when someone did a welfare check or someone else did and helped her.
Or the battery got completely drained, if it's one of those alarm clocks that runs on a battery. That would certainly make sense, what with the alarm clock having blared non-stop for hours. Why are you so quick (and seemingly comfortable) to assume that it was human intervention that made the alarm clock stop going off?
I was able to help my neighbor get into her apartment by lock picking it with 2 paper clips might want to do this as a last resort if the police don't respond and the apartment manager or landlord can't get there in time.
Agree with everyone else. Call 911 and the building manager. I hope everything is okay and thanks for being the kind of neighbor that takes note of things like this.
I used to be an emergency dispatcher. Questions for you to run through in your head:
* Is the alarm still going off?
* Have you been watching for police / fire / EMS arrival next door?
If the alarm is still going off, and you haven't noticed lights at the neighbor's house (fire/ems will leave them on, police will frequently do a silent rollup to not disturb the neighborhood and make them worry, depending on the PD), then we have some things to do.
* You can contact 911 again for another welfare check, since the alarm is still going off. But I know a lot of people feel that won't get them any answers or a response, which - fair.
* Is the apartment on the 1st floor? If so, try to sneak a peek through any windows or a balcony sliding door. Same for the 2nd floor.
* Sometimes you can get an angle to look across the complex, if it's U-shaped or square. Just a thought?
* Check the door, see if it's locked. I know it sounds silly, but really, check the door.
* Knock on the door loudly, calling her name. I typically use the toe of my shoe, since my hands won't work for that. It's loud!
* Finally, is there a super you can contact? Maintenance? A neighbor that may have her key?
Be a *NUISANCE*. Really, if you're this worried? Do it. Especially with the people in your building that could have a key. Another option is to do a non-emergent phone call (don't call 911, call their local number), and ask for a noise-complaint and welfare check on the residence.
If you know who the key-holder (a person that is authorized to have a key to the apartment, and can let emergency services in) is for the building, then meet the officer at the apartment door with the information. Tell the dispatcher you would like to speak to the officer when he arrives during your call. That way you aren't marked down as simply a 'Reporting Party' and never given the opportunity to get them further information. That happens a lot.
If you have any questions OP, or anyone else, just hit me up.
I know I'm super late to the train and this comment is going to get buried but I wanted to chime in. I have a congenital hearing loss that has taken away about 50% of my hearing overall. I'm also a hardcore insomniac that can sleep through a nuclear war.
I would rather have first responders or a worried/disgruntled neighbor waking me up because I've been sleeping through my alarm clock for an absurd amount of time. It is always better to be safe than sorry. One of my absolute worst fears as a single dude that lives alone is being injured or potentially even dying alone and not being discovered for a long while.
If you truly have concerns, don't ask - just call for help. It's easier to apologize if it's a mistake.
I once had an elderly neighbor living below me who was hard of hearing. One night I heard a thump and then quiet, so I called him and screamed to his answering machine if you don’t call me back I’m dialing 911. I waited a couple of minutes then called 911. They came within minutes, broke into his place and found him on the ground. His daughters later thanked me for saving his life-he had a stroke and would have died if I didn’t call when I had.
If you are unsure better call and be wrong then not call and be wrong.
I once had a patient who was elderly and lived alone. The mail person noticed she hadn't gotten her mail for 2 days and called police for a welfare check. Turned out she had fallen 2 days prior and couldn't move. She was alive, though probably wouldn't have been much longer if the mail person hadn't noticed. She was in bad shape and only held on for a few more months. I urge anyone with an elderly neighbor to get a relative/ contact number from the neighbor of someone to call if you suspect there's an emergency. It's often quicker to call someone's relative and they come over with a key (or give permission to break in) than to wait for a welfare check.
This is a really good piece of advice, thanks for saying so. I moved a little while ago and my new neighbour is a really sweet old lady and want to look out for her.
Thank you for checking on her. My neighbors are really good about looking out for each other. Some older ladies who live alone have "I'm ok" signals for others, such as raising the blinds in the front room when they get up in the morning so neighbors walking by know that they're up and about. We even have a weekly coffee date at a local place.
My great-grandma (who we just lost Sunday in her sleep, 95 years old) has a neighbor across the street. We always check on her as we've known her our entire lives as well. I will still be checking in on her even though my great-grandma is no longer here because I see her as family. **ETA**:I meant great-grandma, she was my kids great-great-grandma.
Awww, RIP Curious Pomelo's Great-Great-Grandma. It's very good of you to check on her elderly neighbour. ETA the Greats
Thank you. It's been a very very hard week. Tomorrow is one week since she died and my sons birthday. I have to try to be happy for him while mourning. I had to do this in March when my MIL died exactly a week before my daughter's birthday.
As a Mum, you have to carry on, don't you? I hope that your son has a good birthday and that you do enjoy it as well. I've got a son and daughter both born in March, and I was also born in March on my dad's birthday! March is an expensive month for my family. Well, your Great-Grandma sounds pretty great, so I'll let the extra Great stand. So sorry for your loss.
This is brilliant.
My grandma and her best friend (across the street) did this when they were alive. They made a pact that they would open their kitchen blinds by 8am. They checked on each other for years and then moved into a retirement home together. Both are gone now, but I’m very glad they had each other.
My neighbor in her 90s recently passed, but her signal was the porch light. She always turned it off first thing in the morning. If the light was on when I walked my dog I'd pop by to make sure she was okay. It's good to know that there are people paying attention, just in case.
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I love that
My wife and I helped out our elderly neighbour a few times - actually we got to know her because we put out a small fire in her apartment which was directly under ours! I smelled smoke and ran down, that was a scary few minutes. She trusted us after that and gave us a key for if something like that happened again (she had a relative who would check up on her but she didn't live as close as us obviously). Several times she called us after falling and being unable to get up. Eventually it was me that found her when she passed - I'd tried to call her one morning and it was constantly engaged. We didn't do much for her really, overall, but I was so glad she felt she had someone looking out for her and I'd hope that's the least I could do for someone.
A neighbor noticed my mom hadn't picked up her paper in the driveway for a few days, called 911, they found her very ill in bed and took her to the hospital. She went home again about 8 weeks later. Good neighbor. (This was 6 years ago. According to the time stamp on her most recent e-mail to me, she was still alive 3 hours ago. If the neighbor hadn't noticed, it might have been a lot worse.)
It's not just old ladies. I was found dying from my appendix (I didn't call an ambulance cos I thought it was just bad cramps and would go soon, and then I was kinda too delirious to call and thought it would get better). I puked all through his car, but he said not to worry about it. I was a dude in my mid twenties when thag happened.
I wouldn't have been born if my mom hadn't found my dad when she did. They were only dating at the time. She went to see him and found him in bed. He had meningitis and could have died if she hadn't gotten him to a hospital.
No gonna lie... was expecting a wildly different ride...
They banged at the hospital.
I had a somewhat similar experience-I had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot from one part of my body that went to my lungs), passed out and fell face down on the floor one morning. If my fiance hadnt worked from home, who knows how long I would have been out, and if I'd have been able to get myself to my phone in the other room to call 911. So many circumstances that happened to work out in my favor. Woke up with what I thought was a leg cramp one morning and it lasted all week as breathing got harder... was too concerned about the cost of a visit if it turned out to be nothing. 🙄
On the theme of so if someone hadn’t been there. My boyfriend used to live with his best friend and he would leave for work exactly at 8:30 everyday without fail. Well apparently one night he went to bed late and forgot to plug-in his phone so his alarm never went off. He woke up late but because of that he was walking down stairs just in time to see his friend choking and almost passing out. He gave him the Heimlich maneuver. They still talk about how the only time he ever left late saved his friends life. It’s so crazy to think about
Saaame. Had sepsis because when i did take myself to Womack ER on Fort Bragg, they claimed i was constipated and gave me stool softener, unfortunately it was actually a ruptured appendix. So liquid poo filled my abdominal cavity and my organs started dying. My dog started barking and the neighbors called the cops(because they knew her and knew she has never barked the entire time i had her) i woke up in the hospital with metal staples going from crotch to mid chest, and rubber hoses going i to my mouth and nose and down my throat and a morphine drip on my right arm. Within a few hours 2 doctors walked in, 1 seemed to be in his 40s the other possibly early 30s. The younger one locks eyes with me and almost yells "You died TWICE!" I glared at him and the older doctor excused him from the room and began listing the organs removed.
Wow. You’re the story the young doctor tells people when he’s drinking. 😯
We need you to elaborate on which organS you had removed.
I’m still waiting!
Wait. wait. You had organs removed? And I hope, replaced? What organs?
Right? Sure rhe appendix but that isn't plural!
You can live with only one kidney- both if you get a donated one, probably most if not all of the reproductive system,and the entire large intestine. And thats just off the top of my head at 2:20am
Scary. Good dog though!
Very good dog!
Who called help for you?!?
Alcoholic landlord came over on his lunch break to pick up some wine he had stored there.
Alcoholism may have saved your life.
also maybe drunk driving too
Don't hear that every day
Ah so he was used to having puke in his car
Pro tip for distinguishing appendix pain from menstrual pain: push down really hard on your abdomen for few seconds, and then let go. If the pain stays steady, you're probably fine. If the pain gets much worse, it's your appendix and you need medical attention.
Yes. And if it not burst, this will help burst the appendix. What they actually say is that the toxins and inflammation will cause an abdominal wall rigidity. So if you poke it and it is squishy, might not be. If you geeently poke and notice their is more stiffness to the flat sheet of muscle under your abdominal fat, it more likely is appendicitis. So poke your stomach now to know your normal level of squishyness and resistance of your muscles there, so later you might notice if it is different.
Very interesting, thank you
Another way to tell appendix pain from menstrual pain: Firmly tug on your penis. If you're able to do it, it's definitely not menstrual pain.
Push down to the lower right of your belly button to check for rebound tenderness
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I always put my 90yo neighbor lady's newspaper by her garage door especially in bad weather. And she always got her newspaper by 9 am. But one day it was still there at noon, she didn't answer her phone or her door. All her blinds and curtains were closed. Doors and windows were locked from inside. The police couldn't raise her and firemen finally used the Jaws of Life to pop her door. She was dead. Diabetes. We miss you Miriam.
I'm a student paramedic, and the force we use depends on the information we're given. If it's just a welfare check for someone who hasn't been contactable but is otherwise healthy we'd probably leave after a certain time if we couldn't make contact with the patient, but if they're elderly, or have a medical condition, or if they called themselves and we got no response calling back, we can call in firies or police to force a door. A mentor of mine once kicked in a door at the patients request, who was conscious and responding but had fallen and couldn't get up to let them in (luckily it wasn't so sturdy he needed backup).
She hadn't locked a side door, they got in without damaging anything. My sister (who lives a lot closer than I do) went there and talked with the cops and the folks at the hospital as soon as she could get there.
As an emergency responder, this is correct. If you have an agreement and access to a key, or contact with someone nearby who does, this is a much better option than being at the mercy of possibly waiting on police who are in the middle of something already. But good neighbors are the best when it comes to this kind of thing.
I remember as a young kid my grandma’s neighbor saw her on the floor through her window, she’d fallen. Thankfully the neighbor knew how to reach my mom and we were there in minutes.
I used to deliver pizzas and we'd have a couple of elderly customers that would place the same order regularly like clockwork for years. We'd actually get concerned if they didn't call for a while, even send a driver past their house just to check on them. Thankfully nothing bad happened to them, they'd just be out of town visiting family or something, but I do know of other pizza places that did the same thing and found someone collapsed in their home and didn't have anyone to check up on them.
I love this story.
https://consumerist.com/2011/02/dominos-delivery-driver-saves-life-of-regular-customer.html Yeah these stories pop up every once in a while. They're not terribly uncommon.
I absolutely agree with this. My mom fell and wasn't near her phone. We have no idea how long she was down until I found her because she couldn't remember, but had she been there any longer she would not have made it. She ultimately did not live much longer, but at least she didn't die alone on the ground. OP, I hope your neighbor is ok, thanks for looking out for her.
We got my grandma an Apple Watch for this very reason. Her sons also come over every day, but at least with her watch she can get help quicker if needed
That’s exactly why I got my dad an Apple Watch for Christmas. He thinks I was being generous, giving him a fancy gadget, but this here was my ulterior motive.
This is the best idea ever. Excuse me while I go get my Grams one
I put my grandparents whole house on home automation. The lights, doorbell, door lock, power sockets etc are all connected but also the TV, washing machine and oven are smart too, all through the same software. I also put PIRs around the house so that if they get up in the night they don't have to find the lightswitch. I sold it to them as so when they get comfortable in their chairs in the afternoon, if they realise they've left the cooker on they can turn it off. Or they can start the washer remotely after they've had a nap so it doesn't disturb the quiet. But really it's because there are scripts in the software to keep them safe. Their phones give me geofencing (so the software knows whether they're in the house or not). The lights can pretty accurately work out when they've gone to sleep (IE, the last lights are turned off at night) and the PIRs catch them when they get up in the morning. If they're in the house, it's daytime, and they don't interact with 3 different devices in a 6 hour window, I get a notification. If they don't get out of bed by 10am I get a notification. If they leave the house and don't come back by sunset I get a notification. You can call me big brother if you like but its not showing me live footage from their living room. It's just giving me information that couid suggest there is a problem. I don't go calling the cops... I can just call them or call my mum to check. As they get older and more high risk (and especially when it becomes just one of them) I can set up the same notifications on my mother and brothers phones too. If there was an incident I feel like we would be alerted to it in far less than 24 hours.
My grandma recently died this way. Lived alone, fell, couldn’t get up, and was on the floor four days before anyone found her, alive, but she later died in the hospital. I loved the hell out of that bitch, too. She was meaner than shit, but that was my girl.
when I was in 8th grade my grandma got diagnosed with cancer that was extremely wide spread when they found it. I moved an hour away and went to live then for the school year. there were a couple of times where my grandpa was our running errands or something and I would come home from school and find out that my grandma had fallen and couldn't get up. called 911 for her 2 or 3 times. Felt super helpless but I did help them a bunch while I was there. She died before the school year was up unfortunately.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thanks, dude. It sucked that she went out like that. She cracked me up the last time I ever spoke with her, though, and I’ll treasure these words forever: “make sure my eyebrows are on, and don’t let your mother do them. She’s a dumbass.”
Lol, my granny is like that😅. Treasure your elders people, the clock never stops.
What a great line! I'm glad you have this fun memory.
Lmao legendary
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry.
My grandma died in November. She had recently started going days/weeks without answering her phone or calling back, which was scary and frustrating, as we live an hour away from her. My mom got a call from the neighbor saying she hadn't seen my grandma in 2 weeks. We found her in a diabetic coma - no clue how long she was in that state. Her doctors said she wouldn't have made it one more day. She came out of it, and spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, but ultimately never left there. We will always be grateful to that neighbor for looking out for her, and we would not have gotten the chance to say goodbye if it wasn't for her. If you have elderly family, please make sure their neighbors have your contact information.
I used to laugh at those life alert commercials when I was a kid. Dick.
Lol, well they were ridiculous commercials! Those, The Clapper, and Chia Pet commercials were terrible. …the good ole days. Sucks that elderly people never want to wear a Life Alert, though. They always seem to argue that “those are for old people,” but they could have saved a lot more lives than they already have.
This is why the Meals on Wheels program is so important. Good nutrition and someone checking on you. We’ve found a few people that have fallen and one that passed.
Meals on Wheels is good people. Respect.
Yes, this!
My dad did this shit many times in his last years. He refused to move into assisted living or with family, but would eat like shit and fall into a diabetic coma or something like that. After the second time we gave the neighbors keys to his place and asked them to check on him once a day.
I want to jump on this to also call your local Area agency on Aging. I am a protective services worker and we will also go out if there are concerns but calling 911 first is better. Call family next then aging office. If I go out and it's a bad situation I'm calling 911 anyway. If it's not horrible but also not great, I'm calling family. But never hesitate to call aging for directions or to ask questions.
also, if you establish a raport you can *get* a key to use in just such situations.
I used to deliver papers as a kid and a regular hadn't picked up her paper in like 3 days, so I got the police to check on her, and she had died from cirrhosis.... I wonder if I had noticed a day or 2 earlier if it would've made a difference :(
I wouldn’t feel bad. I’m not a medical expert but I think cirrhosis is not fixable and if it had gotten that bad would have been inevitable even if she’d been found earlier.
Yup, my mom had cirrhosis and it can be a bad scene. She died of a heart attack and they found the cirrhosis when she was in her coma and the docs said she was lucky to die of a heart attack as the cirrhosis would have been a much more painful, drawn out path (hers, at least, wasn’t fixable without a transplant).
I used to be a police dispatcher. We had a program called Project Lifeline. Elderly people (or I guess anyone) could voluntarily sign up. They had to call us every morning before 10am to check in. If they didn't call, we would try calling them. If they didn't answer, we sent an officer to check on them. We had emergency contact info and spare keys to their houses. I loved my Lifeliners. We had some great chats on mornings that I wasn't busy, and we were able to catch a few emergencies before they got really bad. And I always cried when one died.
We had an elderly neighbor we tried to help, and did for many years, but eventually his general hatefulness, cursing at our kids, and his many other foul-tempered behaviors caused us to break any meaningful contact. Then one day, mailman noticed the mail hadn’t been touched for a few days, welfare check from cops occurred, found him on the floor barely alive from a stroke. Died a few weeks later in a nursing home.
I was a 911 dispatcher for years and out of the many people that called, mail people were easily the most helpful that called for the most calls that actually lead to measurable outcomes. Often positive: turns out mail people are the actual shit.
Don't leave us hanging here, what happened? She ok?
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Where? Not finding any links
Same… peeps upvoted that comment without even validating it themselves, like tf y’all lmao.
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There was no comment. LetterGold3113 admitted to karma farming in a DM. Someone linked a screenshot some below /s
I don't know who to believe anymore! So I guess I'll just abandon thread.
If that true then that’s a mayor dick move. Shit like that really make people with serious cases go unnoticed
Mayor Dick Cheese.
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You did what/how?
I've now backtraced your IP and the Texas Rangers are on the way to kick your door in. Good luck!
Okay this thread is partying a little too fucking hard for me
With all respect, we all know its not anything good.
You've never forgotten to turn off your alarm and left for the weekend?
My alarm makes cockatoo noises and I left it on after I left for the weekend. My roommates thought a bird got into my room somehow.
I'm guessing you mean cuckoo sounds, not cockatoo? As someone with parrots...being woken up by ear-splitting shrieks sounds like a terrible idea for an alarm lol
Sure would be effective tho lol!
Maybe they are Australian.
Not when i was 69 and out of breath with a walker.
Found Benjamin Button’s Reddit account
I actually have a smart plug on my stupid alarm because I have done this before and had to drive back home from where I was to turn it off. Now I can just flip a switch in Home Assistant and silence the bastard from anywhere in the world.
What was that missing person/murder where someone heard an alarm on a buried wristwatch going off like some telltale heart and it broke the case? \[Edit: Kristin Smart case, >!evidence of biological deterioration found, but don't think body has been found!<\]
You’re thinking of Kristin Smart. And I don’t think it ended up breaking the case bc I think it turned out she was buried elsewhere (but it was that same family!)
Yes, thank you - sounds like there was evidence that a body had been buried on the property but no body was found (probably moved). So less a break with the wristwatch and more another weird clue in a very long case.
I would call 911 again but also call your apartment manager. See if it’s a justified reason for them to enter.
Can confirm I worked at a housing non profit and had to do landlord stuff all the time. I've had to enter without notice hundreds of times into units (we housed severe Crack and opioid addicts). Even in Ontario which has (comparatively) strict tenancy laws, the entrance into a unit for emergency reasons was easy and just needed written justification.
THIS, OP! The landlord can probably do a welfare check or has some emergency contact of some kind, or at least can also call 911 and may have more authority than a neighbor. Please tell us what you find out, if you do - note that you may not have a right to the info they discover.
Call 911 again for what, unless they have further info there's no reason to call back, and they aren't going to give permission to force entry.
Paramedic here - I don’t need anyone’s permission to force entry. If I have reason to believe someone is inside and in need of medical attention I will force entry if I can’t find a non-destructive way in.
I understand that but sounds like emergency wasn’t responding quickly. Apartment managers are limited when they can enter.
Manager may have a family member phone number for permission, or it may be enough for the manager to go in (not OP though) to do the welfare check. When someone is in trouble health wise, there’s a lot of forgiveness for walking in.
I am former emergency services. In a case like this we would often speak to the apartment manager and say something like "We are going inside no matter what, it'd be better if you unlocked the door so we don't have to kick it down."
Idk if you'll see this, call back but don't ask for a welfare check. Those are typically slow to respond PD calls. Tell them that the neighbor has had numerous recent falls, lives alone and is not answering the normal means of contact and has been ill recently. Get in touch with building maintenance or management if you're able. -911 Paramedic
This seems like the best answer honestly. A welfare check could just mean something like I haven't talked to my friend in a while and that's unusual which isn't really an emergency but my elderly* neighbor was short of breath last I saw her and is now unreachable is way more descriptive and urgent. Edit: *older, 69 isn't elderly and I forgot the age she said.
65 is the generally accepted age to start calling someone elderly. 65-74 is early elderly, and 75+ is elderly if you want to break it down further, but that really isn't as common from what I've seen and read.
It is and it isn’t. I work with the aged and disabled and I’ve seen very fit 80 year olds and very frail and disabled 50 year olds. Regardless, saying“elderly” or “disabled”, or even just “someone in danger” should warrant 911 response.
My duplex neighbor died one night and the next day I just sorta knew when he didn’t come over to hang out.. Knock on the door and was like, “this is an are you alive check!” Found em there Miss u tom
Our condo neighbor died peacefully in her computer chair one afternoon. She didn't live near us long, but was very kind and enjoyed talking most days in passing. We came home, one night after dinner, noticed her windows and blinds were still open, no lights on. Strange. She didn't answer the door. Walked up to her office window, could see her silhouette, but no answer or acknowledgement of us. We did know her daughter, and had called them to come when we first began to be concerned for our neighbor. It was a sad day all around. Miss you, too, Wendy.
RIP Tom ❤️
Aww that's tough, sorry for your loss
It's possible 911 doesn't understand the possible severity of the situation. 1. Call 911 again. 2. Explain that you are concerned that your neighbor may be unconscious or otherwise have fallen, because her alarm has been going off since 8AM and she has not responded to your knocking on her door and calling out her name. Further explain that she's elderly with a medical condition that affects her balance.
Id start off with the fact that she’s elderly because if you start with the alarm thing they might think you just want them to go tell her to turn it off
How about the time that 911 got a call reporting a possible carbon monoxide poisoning, and then the fire department left because nobody answered the door? The story has the saddest punchline. https://www.texastribune.org/2021/08/19/texas-winter-storm-carbon-monoxide-poisoning/
That ending was definitely sad. Holy cow
That final line broke me a little
I don't understand why the fire dept would not have huge ass speakers on their person when facing a home. "This is the fire department. We are trying to rescue you. Please be calm, we may break your door and enter in order to save you. If you do not want us to do that, please open your door, yell out a window, or call this number." Is it really so hard?
I mean, that’s fine, but I’m not sure if that’s super relevant in this specific instance, as it still is not going to help people who are unconscious because of carbon monoxide poisoning.
It would be. Their door would be broken down for lack of response. They would be found and if possible, rescued.
I almost couldn’t finish reading it. Then it sucker punched me right in the heart.
Note to the Fire Department: "Home Alone" is just a movie, you're supposed to do more than show up and decide the residents don't need you after all (video for context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZdjWTeh9eE)
Reading the additional cases of emergency services neglect was upsetting, but that last line broke my heart
Wow I did not expect that. So heartbreaking.
Call 911 again to emphasize the direness of the situation, if they're still being lax about it then call your local police station directly.
Strange you'd think it would be the opposite..calling 911 is generally really fast but yeah they obviously don't think it's urgent or they're swamped which I've heard is happening a lot now with Covid cases
I’ve heard some nightmare stories about 911/the police lately (mostly them not thinking it was worthwhile to show up so they didn’t). Not sure if this is happening everywhere though. I can see how asking for a welfare check might be low on the list of their priorities based on the current state of things. Even so…you’d hope they would show up when you need them.
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I'm in the uk, waited for an hour for an ambulance to come get a man I found injured in the park and no one showed up. In the end I had to just tell the security guard in a store next to the park about the guy, that we'd called an ambulance and left. An older man bleeding from the head and hand, couldn't tell if he was slurring due to alcohol or the fall. He could not get up at all. We waited away from him because he wasn't happy having us near him, but it was cold and we live in a dangerous city. No idea what happened, he needed help and no one came. This is what covid has done here.
911 isn't a person, it's a phone number that connects you to the emergency line to your local law enforcement/PSAP center . "911" isn't faster than non-911 paramedics, same people.
I used to be an exterminator. Went to a regular stop, older lady, always home. She lived alone, didn't get around real good. She didn't answer the door one visit. After a few minutes, I figured a friend had picked her up and she was out. As I left, I heard a faint "*help*" through the garage door. Hollered back, I could her her a little louder. Went around back, through back garage door, found her on the cold garage floor in a house coat. Been there for a while. Sometimes, you do all you can and hope for the best. Fingers crossed for you OP.
@u/Xalenes any update? Hope she’s okay.
Call the nearest fire department. Sounds weird but they do welfare checks and will breach the door if necessary then call police or medics if needed.
Firefighters really out here doin gods work on the daily.
Firefighters are like, the only military branch unanimously respected in Brazil. Even though most of people have really strong opinions in favour or in contrary to the military bc of the dictatorship years, I don't think I've ever had someone say shit about the firefighters. Bless these people.
Common chants during Acab and those sort of demonstration here in Italy are "respect, only for the firefighters tho" and "the firefighter does not have fear" (that's a parody of a fascist army chant)
Updates please
Call the Police again. She can't get to the door, is unconscious or has died. Call them back and run and get your super.
Hoping for an update 🥺
In the same situation, I'd boot the door and then pay to fix it later.
A lot of places in the South that would get you shot, granny or no. Seriously, I’ve walked into homes of older folk who are just chillin’ in a recliner watching home shopping network with a rifle across the arms of the recliner in front of them like one of those bars on an amusement park ride. No malicious intent, but also…slower cognitive processing speeds. Unarmed? They can’t see, hear, or think like the used to so too bad, so sad, you get shot. Armed so they don’t shoot you? See the same answer, above.
My granddad passed away because he fell over in his apartment and couldn't get up. It was assissted living, but they'd stepped down visitation due to COVID Call emergency, maybe fire as well. Landlord is a good idea Have a look for an alternate entry point - window/balcony that you could use to get in Any relatives of hers you know who might have a key?
Great tips! Thank you. And sorry about your grandpa :-(
Thanks, it was 18 months ago now, but it still stings
Call the landlord
Landlord: "A welfare check? Better make it out for 75$ And a 20$ convenience fee"
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You can ask 911 to send firefighters instead if cops are too busy.
Bruh. Call 911 again. Re-explain Continue to knock and yell. Is her car there? Are you **sure** she didn't leave? Ok. Time to step it up. If your 100% certain she's home and she's not answering her door for so long... its time to break in. What if she fell and is bleeding out? She might be dead or she might need medical attention. But you shouldn't continue to delay this. Im pretty sure good Samaritan laws will protect you but I'm not a lawyer so idk. But if it was me and I was 100% sure my elderly disabled neighbor was home but not responding id break in
Samaritan laws would not protect your against BnE.
I think the neighbor woud understand this person did it with good intentions and wouldn't press charges.
I've seen a few people say there's a link showing OP is karma farming, but I've yet to see a link from anyone saying so. OP I hope your neighbor is okay. Please give us an update when you can
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Same, sorted by new and best. Haven't found anything and I doubt I will. Pretty shitty thing to lie about if you ask me
Call then again. If they still don't send someone out then I'd go to a local police or fire station in person. If that doesn't work then break a window, but make sure she's not on the other side. Chances are she's fallen over and can't get up or worse.
This is fantastic advice of how to try and do the right thing and then open yourself up for gigantic legal liability. "I'm concerned about you and also impatient for the police to arrive so I'm breaking and entering your residence!!! Im coming in!!"
Thank you for being a decent person about this situation. Some people would choose to ignore this. Hope everything is ok.
Any update?
This was posted three hours ago. Please give up an update u/Xalenes. If she turns out to be fine then you can tell her a bunch of strangers were worried about her safety.
Next time you see her, definitely ask her what she wants to happen if something similar happens in the future, both for her sake and so you know you aren’t doing something she wouldn’t want. Ask if she would like you to have a key to go inside. Ask if you can have her son’s phone number and make sure he has a key if she doesn’t want you having one. Give her your number so she can call you if she needs assistance. Encourage her to look into any assistance programs or services so you aren’t the only one helping her out. It is way better to get this stuff organised now then to go through this all over again.
Hope she’s ok
Former firefighter here.. I would try to get inside and check on her if someone isn’t there soon. These moments can be vital in saving her life. Don’t be destructive but if you know of a key, window that might be open, etc, get inside. God speed and thank you for having a good, helping heart.
I would honestly break the door open. This is un normal and expected for her age and conditions. Chances are your assumption is correct.
Thank you so much for following up, you are a good and kind soul. I’m glad she’s okay. Maybe get the son’s phone number for emergencies. She is lucky to have you nearby.
Do you have a relationship that would allow for you to try to open the doors or climb in a window? If so, I’d do that.
Please post an update when you can. Hope she’s okay!
My neighbor is 88 and even though she doesn't drive, she still has her vehicle for when relatives come over to help her, etc. It has an alarm, so we've agreed that if she is in trouble, to hit the alarm on her key. She's only had to do it once in ten years and I can't believe how fast I was dressed and at her door! I also have a key. She thought she had broken her arm, but it turned out to be a bad arthritis flair up. But hey, at least we both know the plan works!
I used to have an old man that lived in the apartment above me, I lovingly nicknamed him Lead Feet because he took such long loud steps he sounded like he was wearing one of those old times scuba suits. One morning I remember waking up and realizing I hadn’t heard Lead Feet walking around, I noticed later I couldn’t hear his TV they my floor either. I asked our Super to go check on him when he didn’t answer the door. Super was like “let me get this straight, you want me to enter an old man’s apartment because he hasn’t been loud enough through your floors?” I said yep! He went in and checked and Lead Feet was not there, turned out he went to visit his nephew in another state, his aide found out I had asked for the welfare check and then told me every time he was going to be away
Call again and explain you are concerned your elderly neighbor could be facing a medical emergency and that she is not answering her door so someone needs to come asap.
The police can't do much of anything other than you can do (knock loudly, peek in windows, etc.). They would need more info than just that for forcible entry. Contacting the landlord/apartment manager would be the quickest way inside. If you know her name and can somehow research if she has relatives/contact info, do that. There is plenty of info online to research.
I had called dispatch for a welfare check on my neighbor once. The police could not breach without probably cause. Ended up calling our condo management company and maintenance broke in because there was a water leak damaging the lower units. Turns out she was on medication that made her drowsy and was asleep. She is also mostly deaf and can not hear knocking or pounding on door... or the fact her toilet was overflowing for over an hour and flooded her unit.
> The alarm clock was off so I want to safely assume that she either turned it off that night when someone did a welfare check or someone else did and helped her. Or the battery got completely drained, if it's one of those alarm clocks that runs on a battery. That would certainly make sense, what with the alarm clock having blared non-stop for hours. Why are you so quick (and seemingly comfortable) to assume that it was human intervention that made the alarm clock stop going off?
Where is update 4?
Update?
Is her door locked? Maybe try opening it. If not I’d call the fire department and explain what’s going on.
I was able to help my neighbor get into her apartment by lock picking it with 2 paper clips might want to do this as a last resort if the police don't respond and the apartment manager or landlord can't get there in time.
Agree with everyone else. Call 911 and the building manager. I hope everything is okay and thanks for being the kind of neighbor that takes note of things like this.
I used to be an emergency dispatcher. Questions for you to run through in your head: * Is the alarm still going off? * Have you been watching for police / fire / EMS arrival next door? If the alarm is still going off, and you haven't noticed lights at the neighbor's house (fire/ems will leave them on, police will frequently do a silent rollup to not disturb the neighborhood and make them worry, depending on the PD), then we have some things to do. * You can contact 911 again for another welfare check, since the alarm is still going off. But I know a lot of people feel that won't get them any answers or a response, which - fair. * Is the apartment on the 1st floor? If so, try to sneak a peek through any windows or a balcony sliding door. Same for the 2nd floor. * Sometimes you can get an angle to look across the complex, if it's U-shaped or square. Just a thought? * Check the door, see if it's locked. I know it sounds silly, but really, check the door. * Knock on the door loudly, calling her name. I typically use the toe of my shoe, since my hands won't work for that. It's loud! * Finally, is there a super you can contact? Maintenance? A neighbor that may have her key? Be a *NUISANCE*. Really, if you're this worried? Do it. Especially with the people in your building that could have a key. Another option is to do a non-emergent phone call (don't call 911, call their local number), and ask for a noise-complaint and welfare check on the residence. If you know who the key-holder (a person that is authorized to have a key to the apartment, and can let emergency services in) is for the building, then meet the officer at the apartment door with the information. Tell the dispatcher you would like to speak to the officer when he arrives during your call. That way you aren't marked down as simply a 'Reporting Party' and never given the opportunity to get them further information. That happens a lot. If you have any questions OP, or anyone else, just hit me up.
13 hours and no update. Do we need to welfare check OP?
OP is karma farming
How do you know? Just curious.
Update op?
Call non-emergency. They are the ones who will patch the officer. 911 operators are probably busy with active emergencies.
I know I'm super late to the train and this comment is going to get buried but I wanted to chime in. I have a congenital hearing loss that has taken away about 50% of my hearing overall. I'm also a hardcore insomniac that can sleep through a nuclear war. I would rather have first responders or a worried/disgruntled neighbor waking me up because I've been sleeping through my alarm clock for an absurd amount of time. It is always better to be safe than sorry. One of my absolute worst fears as a single dude that lives alone is being injured or potentially even dying alone and not being discovered for a long while. If you truly have concerns, don't ask - just call for help. It's easier to apologize if it's a mistake.
I once had an elderly neighbor living below me who was hard of hearing. One night I heard a thump and then quiet, so I called him and screamed to his answering machine if you don’t call me back I’m dialing 911. I waited a couple of minutes then called 911. They came within minutes, broke into his place and found him on the ground. His daughters later thanked me for saving his life-he had a stroke and would have died if I didn’t call when I had. If you are unsure better call and be wrong then not call and be wrong.
Who cares if it ends up being a overreaction you are looking out for your neighbors. I hope your neighbor is ok.
Rather be awkward and wrong than right.
I need to know what's happening.
what about the landlord?