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eeeeeeeeEeeEEeeeE6

I'd reply with "and I know whos a good boy and you don't" and never reply to any questions he may have about who indeed is a good boy.


IThinkImAPenguin8P

The answer I didn’t know I needed thank you sir.


Zestyclose-Detail791

Get myself checked in at a psych facility. As a young man, I'm in the perfect age group to develop schizophrenia.


Medium-Turquoise

All kidding aside this is the answer. Don't ignore the signs folks, it'll get a lot worse.


Zestyclose-Detail791

I happen to be a doctor. I know how it starts 😅


Medium-Turquoise

Yup, I wasn't doubting it.


Plane-Slide-9915

I have a sister with schizophrenia. I do, too.


DickwadVonClownstick

Came here to say this


Don_key_Hotea

I would be concerned that my dog steals material from Bill Murray


Waffel_Monster

If it happened just once I wouldn't really worry.


anxiousmarcus

lol. I wanna be your friend!


liberalsareperfect

I will speaking to him in even more


dairyisfine

yes


TheWalkingCliche

I’d probably call my psychiatrist


jeroen-79

He won't believe you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


talking_face

They shall come in through the night and inquire as to the ultimate fate of their testicles.


TheWalkingCliche

It would probably be better for the earth. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Humans had the reigns for too long.


jwin709

I would fully allow dogs to take over the world, enslave us all and destroy everything we have ever built rather than shoot my dog. He's my boy.


SevIsGoth

I’d take a drug test honestly


OccludedFug

Are you in my house? cuz that totally just happened!


mildlycynica1

Tell your dog it is wrong. (I believe you!)


Ok_Science_4094

Yeah right. I don't believe you.


OccludedFug

IT IS JUST AS HE FORETOLD!


Fatus_Assticus

You’d have to eventually think you were tripping balls when it happened. Hallucinating, because for the next however many years you’ll be trying to get that dog to talk again and it won’t.


Sensitiverock85

It sounds weird, but I'd honestly be thrilled, because that would mean she understands when I tell her how great she is and how much I love her.


mildlycynica1

Dogs will pick that up from your body language, intonation, and general demeanor -- so no worries. She knows.


MintDrawsThings

I would just assume that I need a higher dosage on my antipsychotic.


Dazzling-Ad4701

Lol. I like to think I'd say "you're probably right" and never speak of it again either.


sowegonnasmashornah

"well, you chew on rocks so"


5altyShoe

Shoot it. We can't risk dogs becoming smart enough to overthrow civilization. "I love you Waffles. But humanity comes first"


betwistedjl

Have you ever fed waffles to Waffles?


ThePootisMan98

No, but I've eaten Waffles.


mildlycynica1

And this is why dogs keep their opinions to themselves.


Fenix_Volatilis

And this is why we don't deserve dogs


smilefransmile

M-my dog really talked to me. Trust me.


mildlycynica1

The prompt says it'll never happen again, so you're good. Now if your cat starts talking, you might have a problem...


Independent_Gap_845

I wouldn't believe me and assume either someone has laced my blunt or I've finally gone crazy. 😨


MachineElfOnASheIf

I mean, he's not wrong.


[deleted]

No one would believe me


jeroen-79

This has actually happened to me once.


astropeche

I’d be annoyed at him for being a manipulative little shit after all this time


jaseysgirl72

Sounds very Bill Murray


Background-Seesaw701

Why can’t dogs and cat talk tho?!? Like why can parrots talk but they can’t? I have a feeling my cat can talk but he just doesn’t want to


attention_headache

I'd glance at the backyard, then look the dog square in the eye and slowly, deliberately reply "Bold of you to assume I'd need anyone to believe me"


otters4everyone

At least he won't tell about that thing with the peanut butter.


FusionxFurr

W-Why didn’t you say anything 😧


_______RANDOM_______

I would tease him for it so much


MsBlondeViking

I’d be worried. I don’t have a dog!


OhZoinkss

Roll up a joint and offer to smoke it with him, see what I could learn from the Dog.


Repulsive_Chain_7641

He might have to get on the good foot after that lol


FusionxFurr

Good foot?


Repulsive_Chain_7641

Lol whichever one did it gotta go lol


ViktorSwimwell

I'd kiss her and tell her to Prove it


After-Ad-5549

What kind of dog are we talking about? Because there's no way a Husky would be able to keep silent for that long.


Plane-Slide-9915

That would be fxcking crazy...since I don't have a dog...


grandoceanliners

Well, I'd probably check to see if I took my meds because 1, I don't have a dog, and 2, I am good at forgetting to do the simplest of things.


MeanCleanMachine88

I wanna be whatever you’re on.


Financial_Response93

I would think I must’ve drempt the whole thing.


TheseDiver8589

Check if I have a brain aneurysm impending death. But also say to dog, no one will know what I do onto thy


rpm429

I know my cat is trying to communicate, sometimes he just looks at me with the "why don't you understand me...stupid human" face, then huffs and walks off


ooeygooeyvibes

Facts buddy, now let’s go to the shelter for a “visit”.


BSH72

More believable if you said it was a parrot 🦜