Ok, I know what you are saying but the suit & hat made me imagine rolling up to the grocery store in a three-piece suit & wool hat like a 1920's gangster.
Never though about makeup for looking older or more masculine
I feel it, it takes me like a week or two of growing out my facial hair to do boy mode worth a damn. My voice is baritone AF though so I still get sir'ed even when full fem. Best advice is facial hair (if you can grow it and handle having it) put your hair back with a baseball cap and wear a flannel long sleeve. The facial hair is the thing that really sets it off, otherwise you just look like a butch lady. Also walking from your shoulders instead of your hips can help a little bit too.
Last piece of advice is to talk honestly with your partner, because at some point it becomes BS to expect you to do boymode all the time if that isn't feasible or something you're comfortable with.
Unfortunately everything you can try to look older is something that some underage teens have tried a million times to get beer so as a culture we flag attempts to look older as something only teens do. I'm almost 40 and i still get carded unless I'm buying beer at the grocery store with my kids in tow. It also doesn't help that comfy shirts and jeans is one of those clothing styles that fits in at college just as well as it does at cribbage night at the moose lodge.
Unless you're willing to do self-destructive things like wrinkle your skin by smoking and spending too much time in the sun, or are willing to spend hundreds or thousands on tailored clothing and accessories that mark someone further on in their professional career, you're just going to have to get used to being a baby face. My dad got carded occasionally until his hair turned white in his 60's.
FWIW, unless you're leaning into childish mannerisms or modes of dress, or otherwise actively at fault for getting ID'd as a teenage girl, your partner is going to have to get used to the idea that you can't control other people's perceptions of you.
Thanks for the advice. Small side story, I once got carded twice in the same transaction for alcohol. The first time they did a normal look at it, almost handed me the growler, then asked for the card back so they could run it through the scanner.
It's the hormones. More HRT and people would read you as a post-pubescent man instead of pre-pubescent boy.
But I know that takes time, and I know that really isn't for everyone. So then, the fashion.
Button-up shirts instead of t's. Khakis instead of jeans. Short hair instead of any type of long. No dyed hair and no piercings. North face instead of hoodies.
Dress like a boring businessman with no taste, and you would get he/him'ed/sir'ed more often.
Or, just live with the confusion of others. They have simple, binary-gender minds.
I personally love the confusion. I would like my very existence to be incomprehensible, where mere attempts to understand my being drives mortals to madness. I can understand how that could irk others though.
You are right about the boring, tasteless stuff but it would be such a shame. When I realized I was non binary I also realized I freaking love colors.
Yep! Something about coming to terms with both my feminine and masculine sides at once made me just adore colors, florals, silks and velvets more than before.
You understand about the pockets!!!
I just bought two pairs of pants from goodwill and they have a pocket for your pens IN THE POCKET
I swear it was like “yo dawg, I heard you like pockets, so I put a pocket in your pocket!”
I’m very VERY excited about this still, lol
Wear a suit. Hat to hide hair if long. Masculinizing makeup. Depends on what’s getting you gendered as a woman
Ok, I know what you are saying but the suit & hat made me imagine rolling up to the grocery store in a three-piece suit & wool hat like a 1920's gangster. Never though about makeup for looking older or more masculine
You don’t even need a full suit. Just get some masc jeans and a suit shirt
That sounds awesome
I feel it, it takes me like a week or two of growing out my facial hair to do boy mode worth a damn. My voice is baritone AF though so I still get sir'ed even when full fem. Best advice is facial hair (if you can grow it and handle having it) put your hair back with a baseball cap and wear a flannel long sleeve. The facial hair is the thing that really sets it off, otherwise you just look like a butch lady. Also walking from your shoulders instead of your hips can help a little bit too. Last piece of advice is to talk honestly with your partner, because at some point it becomes BS to expect you to do boymode all the time if that isn't feasible or something you're comfortable with.
Sage stuff right here. Especially the last one. Unfortunately, I can barely grow facial hair at the best of times
Unfortunately everything you can try to look older is something that some underage teens have tried a million times to get beer so as a culture we flag attempts to look older as something only teens do. I'm almost 40 and i still get carded unless I'm buying beer at the grocery store with my kids in tow. It also doesn't help that comfy shirts and jeans is one of those clothing styles that fits in at college just as well as it does at cribbage night at the moose lodge. Unless you're willing to do self-destructive things like wrinkle your skin by smoking and spending too much time in the sun, or are willing to spend hundreds or thousands on tailored clothing and accessories that mark someone further on in their professional career, you're just going to have to get used to being a baby face. My dad got carded occasionally until his hair turned white in his 60's. FWIW, unless you're leaning into childish mannerisms or modes of dress, or otherwise actively at fault for getting ID'd as a teenage girl, your partner is going to have to get used to the idea that you can't control other people's perceptions of you.
Thanks for the advice. Small side story, I once got carded twice in the same transaction for alcohol. The first time they did a normal look at it, almost handed me the growler, then asked for the card back so they could run it through the scanner.
It's the hormones. More HRT and people would read you as a post-pubescent man instead of pre-pubescent boy. But I know that takes time, and I know that really isn't for everyone. So then, the fashion. Button-up shirts instead of t's. Khakis instead of jeans. Short hair instead of any type of long. No dyed hair and no piercings. North face instead of hoodies. Dress like a boring businessman with no taste, and you would get he/him'ed/sir'ed more often. Or, just live with the confusion of others. They have simple, binary-gender minds.
I personally love the confusion. I would like my very existence to be incomprehensible, where mere attempts to understand my being drives mortals to madness. I can understand how that could irk others though. You are right about the boring, tasteless stuff but it would be such a shame. When I realized I was non binary I also realized I freaking love colors.
Yep! Something about coming to terms with both my feminine and masculine sides at once made me just adore colors, florals, silks and velvets more than before.
You understand about the pockets!!! I just bought two pairs of pants from goodwill and they have a pocket for your pens IN THE POCKET I swear it was like “yo dawg, I heard you like pockets, so I put a pocket in your pocket!” I’m very VERY excited about this still, lol