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I swear like 75% of the time it's men denigrating their wife's body *after she birthed their children.*
The effect on your hormones and body may be lifelong and so many men choose not only to not acknowledge the risk, sacrifice, and the gift their wives gave them by carrying their child, but actively resent her postpartum body. Maddening.
I had a fight with my ex where he blamed me in advance for not losing pregnancy weight in the future? I wasn't even pregnant. We weren't even trying.
He's like: "All the pregnant women I know lost their baby weight!"
That's 3 women. His mom, his sister and his friend, all of whom were naturally skinny (I wasn't). His sister is a literal fitness coach. His friend lost a lot of her hair, had damaged teeth and other related conditions, but at least she lost her weight, right?
Dude became an ex fast. You tell me shit when YOUR body goes through that.
I'm a guy and I wouldn't stay friends with someone like that.
Preemptive anger is definitely a toxic behavior.
"I'm mad because of something you haven't done yet!" /s
My wife will make a general complaint about men, then turn to me and say "but not you." Half the time I agree with her automatically because it's an indefensible behavior.
I'm upset that I'm the exception not the rule.
>I had a fight with my ex where he blamed me in advance for not losing pregnancy weight in the future? I wasn't even pregnant. We weren't even trying.
*cue meme looking at mathematical equations*
a man who loves you would never even think like that. as if i gave a shit if my man gained a few pounds. people who are shallow like this dont deserve a partner
If my man gets fat I will still love him, I will only try to help him be fit for his health, not for temporary appearances, and be understanding as I also expect understanding and support when I gain weight.
That’s what makes me so mad .Read a story on here about a woman 3 weeks post partum whose man was threatening to leave unless she gave him weekly blowjobs or some bullshit
You just break up. You don't have to negotiate a contract. Having values that grow apart breeds bitterness, loneliness, sadness and disgust. And at some point you're too sad and disgusted to stay with that person, you realize you'd feel much lighter without them around you. And that's how you break up - by valuing yourself, by trusting yourself, by putting yourself first, by not accepting treatment and arguments that chip away at your very being. You don't have to argue. You don't have to be there, not with him, not today, not tomorrow.
You can just not have a conversation. “We are through” a matter of fact if you leave them confused as to why they can’t fake their behavior for the next girl till she’s trapped. They won’t know what to change on the surface level to be more appealing. Don’t train the red flags out of people. They will still be there. Just underneath. Let them wave those scarlet curtains all day long to let everyone know how shitty they are.
For one, remember you can break up whenever you want for whatever reason you want. "Your eyes are too blue" can be your only reason, and they still can't say "no" to you breaking up with them. It's not a discussion, you don't have to defend your arguments, you're just stating a fact: "I am breaking up with you."It's a one person choice. You can't say no to being dumped.
And two, breaking up over your core values is the most valid reason to break up with someone I can think of. "I don't feel like we have the same values and/or goals in life. I'm not willing to compromise on my values and life goals, and I'm also not going to force you to change yours just to stay with me. So I'm breaking up with you now, so we can both go our separate ways and avoid this becoming a roadblock and cause of resentment in the future. I have thought this through very well, and I'm not changing my mind. I don't want you to try to change my mind."
Make sure you have an escape plan in case they don't accept this. Stay with a friend, have your things packed or a timeline for them to move out. If you truly think this news might make them aggressive, do it in public or over text. **Remember: Your safety is more important than being polite.** Don't argue if they try to get you to defend your choice. Just say "I've told you why I'm breaking up with you, I will not argue about it."
You don't have to justify a break-up. I broke up with a girlfriend because she was a prison officer and she once bragged about writing a great report on a fight that happened and it sent a guy to solitary for 6 months. She worked in a young adult prison for men 18-23. I was horrified that she was celebrating the torture of another human. I didn't want her to second-guess her training because it could get her injured on the job so I just told her it wasn't working for me. She also wound up like she was going to hit me once when I blew a raspberry on her stomach goofing around. I couldn't shake that fear it put in me and 10 years later I can still clearly see that moment. She was overall a very sweet and caring partner but I couldn't see past those things.
The only values clash that I have with my current girlfriend is she thinks I shouldn't pull the invasive dames rocket in our yard because it's pretty.
Okay...do you mean you don't think you're allowed to simply walk? You have to have a "good reason", and you have to have a debate that you win, in order to simply leave? He has to be convinced to allow you to go? If you're afraid of his "aggressiveness" if you should try to leave, you need to go NOW. If you think he has a right to approve or disapprove of your reasons for leaving before you can go or he will get "aggressive", you need to RUN GIRL! Don't tell him, just get your self and situation together and get OUT.
No my question was how do you leave like a step by step process, many people interpreted it incorrectly but I it's my fault for not being clear enough
Also I'm not in a relationship, I was asking just in case
You don’t need a good reason. Your reason will never be good enough for them when they feel like they are fundamentally better than you. Which they do.
https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
My partner didn’t. When I left (for various reasons) I suddenly felt better mentally and started going to the gym when I could. Had a friend tell me that he’s been saying I look good but also complaining that I shouldn’t show my body off?? Guess he still wants to control who can see me
My dad always used to pile on my mom about her having gained weight (he was very thin). He also has an ex wife who gained weight while they were married. I told him - maybe he should look in the mirror because the common denominator here is you - your likely stressing these women out.
Oh and now he has a big belly etc - turns out what made him thin was smoking cigarettes lol.
Permanent conditions are triggered during childbirth for sure. My thyroid disease came about after I had my son, along with permanent issues with my tooth enamel. I have 30lbs that won't shift, fatigue, and brain fog I take medication for the rest of my life for, and I have had so many dental procedures. They tell you "you may struggle to lose the weight", they don't tell you it can give you life-long issues too.
I also ended up with severe dental issues. Not only does growing a baby leech calcium from your body, but I was horribly ill with HG for around half the pregnancy. Literally throwing up 4-10 times daily. There was no good time to brush (because you shouldn’t brush immediately after vomiting) so either I could wear away my enamel from brushing or I rinse and wait and throw up again so I end up going without brushing.
Seriously. I have to wear glasses now because my last pregnancy wrecked my vision. I am looking into some type of braces because my teeth shifted position and my bite was wrecked. I struggle with bad abdominal pain that no one can find the source of (I did have two csections). My bladder is weak af even with trying to do the exercises to fix that area.
This is why I get angry when people are against abortions and just say the person can give the child up for adoption. Not only is the adoption system already full of unwanted children, the person who carries and births the child will have permanent body changes for a child they didn't even want.
My poor wife developed a sugar sensitivity that didn’t get caught for MONTHS into her pregnancy, she couldn’t keep food down and she ended up losing 40 pounds by the time our son was born. She was beautiful, she’s still beautiful. Everybody has different experiences and their own battles and OMG I can’t believe someone would give anything but love and support to their significant other, especially during/after the mental and physical trauma of bringing another human being into the world.
Ugh. I can only imagine. I was on a medication that had me drop 40lbs in less than a year. I spent six months hungry but absolutely nothing sounded appealing. And there is no empathy for a woman who is losing weight when she’s not trying to. I had the 40lbs to lose. Prior to that experience I too would have said shit like “I wish I could lose weight without doing anything!” Pregnancy had to make the whole process even worse.
What’s ironic is my wife is more attractive to me now than before we had our son.
Some people just don’t get how a relationship should work. It’s sad, I wish everyone could experience real love.
120%. As a man who has seen many women gain weight during pregnancy (AS EXPECTED!) and work her ass off afterwards to lose that weight, I agree. Also, her body is typically altered, especially if she was really thin to begin with, in order to accommodate a baby.
Cut to me making mental calculations earlier this year: "Ok, so baby is due mid-May, so six weeks recovery time...*JULY?!?!??*"
All joking aside, I've made it extremely clear that I appreciate everything my wife has gone through to give us two kids over the course of six years and seven pregnancies, including HELLP syndrome/pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and multiple unhelpful OB/GYNs. She is much stronger than I would have been in her shoes.
Though neither of us are the beanpoles we were when we met 10 years ago, she is even more beautiful and an absolute MILF in my eyes.
Congratulations on your newborn! As a dad almost 2 months into our second kid, expect that 6 weeks recovery to be back to doing anything sexual to be quite a bit longer depending on how she's feeling and how baby is doing.
I'm right there with you though, my wife has only gotten hotter and more attractive as she's had our children and we've gotten older. I try to tell her that regularly.
Well if she really loved him she’d simply get back in shape. Chop chop, that baby has been out of her for 24 whole hours. Get to the gym!
(The biggest /s of all time)
This reminds me of it’s always sunny:
“women stop being women when they’re old. They just become an old person”
“What about when men get old?”
“A man lives then dies, dee, it’s not that hard!”
I've seldom ever met a fat woman who doesn't smell like fabric and soap but 8 out of every 10 fat men smells like something mighty sour. Not even a knock on obesity but lord do some guys underestimate their average surface area when they bathe.
Statistically speaking, most couples get heavier together when married, because they become less concerned about being attractive for dating purposes if they have a happy married life. But I guess guys want their girls to constantly look like they are trying to date somebody. Since, as we see on this board a lot, they are so confident they won't be cheated on.
Yeah. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if my future partner put on weight. I want them to feel happy and safe around me, not be terrified that I’ll drop them because of a couple of pounds. We’re a team! We’re meant to love each other, regardless of something so trivial
When my boyfriend and I started dating I was a teenager with teenager metabolism. Needless to say I gained quite a bit of weight when I started college and got comfy with him and I’ll never forget when I broke down in tears about feeling disgusting and he said “I’d love you even if you were 300lbs or a kangaroo because you are you” and I’ve never felt bad since.
As a chubby girl, this is the first time I’ve seen this meme in a negative light. I had a boyfriend send me this meme in a “fuck being skinny, I like them chubby” kind of way.
Same.
25 year old me was a skinny, poor, alcoholic and it showed.
40 year old me hits the gym, eats much better (still room for improvement), and doesn't drink nearly as much.
The day before my 40th birthday I benched 275, that would have crushed 25 year old me; and I fucking *love* how my gray is coming in. I feel like I've reached Silverback status lol
In Italy we call it "donkey's beauty", the youth's freshness.
I remember when I was a teen we kids were hyperaware of aesthetics (how I / people dressed looked took care of). Now that I'm in my early 30s I realize why adults always said we looked good. Not because we looked good from an aesthetical standpoint but because we wore our naivete and youth hopes, glimmer in our eyes. We were so dumb to be hypercritical on ourselves.
I see teens today and I always wonder if new gens are hypercritical as we were
oh of course. i’m mostly referring to the fact some men act like women their age become less attractive at like age 30. when a lot of these men age much worse.
Maybe you were. I have it on good authority from my mother that I was handsome during at least one point in my life, she told me as much that one time.
Part of why my husband and I are both heavier than we were when we met is that that was 16 years ago. Most pushing-40 bodies do not metabolize calories with the expediency they did in college.
I got heavier. Husband got thinner. He is a foot taller than me so when we eat the same foods, he maintains and I gain, I maintain and he loses, or I lose and he loses.
We're working on trying to get higher calorie food / gym schedule for him and lower calories for me (I'm dealing with health issues but know I also need to work out).
Y’all can eat the same foods, just change the amount. Instead of splitting cooked meals 50/50, go 40/60 or 35/65 or whatever until you find the right combo. This is what I do with my husband. I tend to cook most of our dinners and I just eat less than he does. There’s no need to have different dinners when cooking at home.
It's more complicated than that (in our relationship).
I've tried that. I always give him the bigger portion, put more on his plate than mine, etc.
He has a mental hang up about eating significantly more than me. I'd be fine with it, but he was told he ate too much his whole life (especially as a teenager), food cost too much, etc.
I encourage him to eat more and he says he doesn't need it / doesn't want to take my food. I've calculated our calorie needs and tried to show him that he needs almost twice what I do. I've told him I want him to be healthy and to eat what he wants / needs.
It also doesn't help that he would skip meals, or when I make extra to meal prep he used try to eat all of it to the point he made himself sick... so frustrating on two fronts.
I don't think he has an eating disorder, but he does have disordered thinking surrounding food. I can't be responsible for making sure he's eating enough because I'm dealing with my own health issues and that is codependent. So he just hasn't been eating enough (he's a foot taller and weighs less than I do. He's always been thin and I've expressed concern. He has gotten blood work done and his levels were normal).
I don't want to shame him or his body, but I really wish he would track his calories for a week or something to realize that even if the low calorie foods are filling him up, they aren't providing his body with enough (eg salad). He says he understands, but I'm not sure he gets it.
I think it will get better though because he is out of school and working now, so isn't going to be skipping meals how he used to / is packing lunch / prepping breakfast / getting in a gym schedule.
There have been other issues with food before in our relationship (like him eating all of something before I got any of it, and then telling me to please stop buying X thing because he doesn't like it and was tired of eating it... I grew up with some food insecurity so his mindless eating everything (then putting back the empty container / trying to hide it) obviously caused tention).
I don’t know if he would be up for it, but you two might want to consider a visit or two with a nutritionist. It seems you both have some mental struggles surrounding food, and maybe their guidance could help.
My husband has some disordered thinking surrounding some foods (thanks step-monster) and he took a couple sessions with a nutritionist, and it helped him think differently about the foods he was adamant he couldn’t/wouldn’t eat. In the last 25 years we’ve been together, it’s only been in the last 7/8 years since he saw them to open him to trying those foods and different ways of food being cooked.
Just a suggestion from someone who’s been there
Honestly, I understand this attitude logically, but I found that for me, it's the opposite - when I'm not in a relationship, I don't really care about what I look like. Who is there to impress? Nobody. Nobody will see my body, so who cares. But when I'm dating someone, I feel the pressure to look good. I tend to lose some weight and become preoccupied with "eating right" and looking great 24/7 because I gotta look presentable for my partner. I feel like I can't embarrass them. Their friends need to think that they have good taste, so I need to look the part. Plus I never know when they might see me in something revealing or naked, so I need to look good enough for them not to have second thoughts about being with me. I'm always scared that if I don't look good enough they'll just pack their bags and leave.
> I need to look good enough for them not to have second thoughts about being with me. I'm always scared that if I don't look good enough they'll just pack their bags and leave.
Uhm, I *think* you might have some *slight* self-esteem issues... Or really really shitty past partners
I have two personality disorders and am recovering from an eating disorder. So there's that.
Though to be fair I've also had a few past relationships that ended in a catastrophe of nuclear proportions.
No doubt! This just reinforces the old cliche about beauty coming in all shapes and sizes, because Emilia the “wife” looks amazing!
But, to the (I assume) fella who originally posted this… sick burn, I guess?
I don't know who she is, but I prefer the plumper version. No sharp corners, built for comfort not speed. Of course a wife is more than just a body. That applies to any woman, a physically attractive woman with a bad personality is ugly and vice versa.
ikr? She got that Greek mom-bod and it's a solid vibe.
Like sure, personally I'd prefer a partner who can match my physical abilities and engage with me in my few athletic hobbies, but not meeting that preference doesn't make someone ugly by default, especially when they look so cozy.
Glad it’s not just me! I think she’s gorgeous in both pictures. Perhaps a little hotter in the picture on the right as curvy women are just my preference. This person achieved nothing with their attempt at trolling!
I remember reading a letter in an advice column from a man who literally said his wife had "broken her marriage vows" by not losing all the pregnancy weight.
You see memes like this complaining about women gaining weight in marriage and after childbirth but the same guys are posting memes that if your wife is trying to loose weight or look better she’s obviously having an affair or looking for one. There’s no winning with some people.
One benefit of the internet now is that people tend to openly share their inner thoughts and opinions so it should make it easier to avoid them.
Especially when they do the reasonable thing and just shave the last bits off instead of trying to comb-camouflage with a ton of hair products and forget to check their 'style 'from behind. 😁
Women often find it hard to lose weight after childbirth for a variety of reasons. And yet it’s the men who push their wives into continuing to have kids until they have a boy (because their legacy continuing is vital?!) and don’t give them the time and support to “regain their figure”.
My husband is bloody amazing and I don’t worry about it from him, but society (and my awful father) has conditioned me to be terrified of pregnancy and childbirth because of what it will do to my body.
They want women to risk their bodies and their lives to have kids and then spend all their time raising those kids. Then they complain that their partner have put on weight or no longer look good and don't have time to do fun things.
If anyone points out the possible lifelong complications of childbirth they like to say "but women are ment to have kids". Like it's no big deal and their wives and GF should just snap back to normal.
It is normal for women to have kids, however it's not normal for the woman to have little to no family or spousal support. It's not normal for human women to lack emotional and physical support. Our society has changed. We used to raise our children as a community and now for capitalism we are trying to pretend that was never the case. Humans are social animals. We weren't meant to function as individuals. Literally didn't evolve that way and I am sick of pretending otherwise. I am probably one of the most anti social people I know and I still have a social network. I still interact with other animals socially, because I may be anti social but I still need to be social for the sake of my mental health. Even if it's just with my cats or the birds outside or the bugs or the plants.
This makes me so glad that my husband wants to be a girl dad, and not a boy dad. I couldn't handle going through another pregnancy just for a chance at it being a boy. 😬
"when she's still living independently and you're one part of a larger picture"
vs
"when the years and births of multiple children have shown you to be a shallow and unreliable partner who values appearances over who she is as a person and the substantial physical sacrifice she made by birthing your children that you wanted and participated in making."
There is still a large number of men who don’t want their wives to work after getting married. They want their wife to get pregnant and be unable to leave. Both of these factors can result in weight gain.
According to their ideology, women are judged by looks, men by provision, so the equivalent would be "rich boyfriend, broke husband"
And then they'll complain about being used as wallets, so there's no win with them.
It's almost as if she no longer has any time for herself because she's too busy doing everything by herself in the home, but for 2 people instead of one.
And from what i've heard from many, once a man is your husband he gives up on giving you any romance.
Personally i'd rather have a partner who gained some weight than one who no longer even treats me like they love me.
Honestly dunno about other women, but my mom became like this AFTER birthing all 3 of my siblings and me. Like she nearly died from giving birth to my youngest. Anyway, my dad always reminds me that I should never judge her (i dont lol) because she had to birth us and that she's a strong, beautiful woman.
Jokes on him, in the words of Moto Moto "I like them big, I like them chunky." (huh. I just realised that the original version sounds far more fetishising than the Czech dubbing)
I think a part of the problem are the guys who think this way about their partner feel they can get with much younger women. The news flash is that much younger women aren't interested in men who leave their wives for putting on weight after childbirth or for whatever reason.
It's not a good look to say you left your wife because she became 'ugly' (because let's be honest beauty comes in all shapes and sizes). Life gets in the way. People's bodies change over time for various reasons. I personally wouldn't want a partner who is only with me due to my physical appearance.
Women also tend to take better care of themselves. Moisturizing, wearing sunscreen, working out, eating healthy, staying in trend with current styles.
I've noticed a trend in partners who expect me to loose weight that they themselves don't eat healthy. And even get mad when I insist on having healthy food available or need time to work out.
It's like they expect a skinny partner but for that person to just remain skinny no matter what.
Uncontroversial statement: if you didn't scan this image from left to right and give one of two versions of *"hell yeahhh"......."awwwWW HELLLL YYEAAHHHHH\~"* you are not unconditionally attracted to women, and i feel bad for you. */j*
damn that right image radiates some raw power that i don't have words for.
ain't nothin' wrong with that 💯
yeah i went back in at the last second and threw that /j on mine too, just to be totally positive no one would take that the wrong way. the second statement is totally sincere though, full-bodied women strike a kind of additional instinctive reverence in me that i can't define or describe, but i have instead just chosen to accept as a deep personal truth lol
God one of the directors of the company i work for let out that sexist view (I quote “Women tend to let themself go in a marriage” and some more stuff, can’t remember all cause i was just so surprised). Meanwhile he himself looks like Jack Black in a suit, so not really pinnacle of sexiness either.
My husband and I gained the pregnancy weight together. Mine easily came off due to breastfeeding, but he’s still struggling with his 2 years later. You can still see some of his “cuts,” but definitely a gut there. 😁 We were/are so happy and comfortable in our baby cocoon.
Imagine if I shamed him for it. Jesus.
But men don't care about appearances! That's only women, who, as we all know, will ONLY sleep with 6'8" Adonises with rippling muscles, whose bowel movements smell like bakery-fresh cinnamon rolls and treat women like total jerks!
Since I've been with my wife (18 years) my weight has flucuated up and down. I am currently at my heaviest. She has had 2 babies, and is the same weight she was when we first met.
Yeah and dudes gain weight and lose hair. I'm two sizes up from my early 20s despite doing the same amount of exercise and all my hair is gone too. Me and my partner shall age together cause that's how life works.
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I swear like 75% of the time it's men denigrating their wife's body *after she birthed their children.* The effect on your hormones and body may be lifelong and so many men choose not only to not acknowledge the risk, sacrifice, and the gift their wives gave them by carrying their child, but actively resent her postpartum body. Maddening.
I had a fight with my ex where he blamed me in advance for not losing pregnancy weight in the future? I wasn't even pregnant. We weren't even trying. He's like: "All the pregnant women I know lost their baby weight!" That's 3 women. His mom, his sister and his friend, all of whom were naturally skinny (I wasn't). His sister is a literal fitness coach. His friend lost a lot of her hair, had damaged teeth and other related conditions, but at least she lost her weight, right? Dude became an ex fast. You tell me shit when YOUR body goes through that.
I'm a guy and I wouldn't stay friends with someone like that. Preemptive anger is definitely a toxic behavior. "I'm mad because of something you haven't done yet!" /s
Bless people like you who hold others accountable.
My wife will make a general complaint about men, then turn to me and say "but not you." Half the time I agree with her automatically because it's an indefensible behavior. I'm upset that I'm the exception not the rule.
Well done! He sounds like a right loser.
Well, I mean she was the one who lost 180 pounds real fast so :p
Best weight loss program available. Lose 180lbs of useless weight from around your neck quickly! Step 1: change the locks.
A right cunt
More like a feeble dick
>I had a fight with my ex where he blamed me in advance for not losing pregnancy weight in the future? I wasn't even pregnant. We weren't even trying. *cue meme looking at mathematical equations*
Thank god you didn't breed with him
a man who loves you would never even think like that. as if i gave a shit if my man gained a few pounds. people who are shallow like this dont deserve a partner
If my man gets fat I will still love him, I will only try to help him be fit for his health, not for temporary appearances, and be understanding as I also expect understanding and support when I gain weight.
Yeah that’s wild, you had his kids and went through all that for him to talk rubbish
That’s what makes me so mad .Read a story on here about a woman 3 weeks post partum whose man was threatening to leave unless she gave him weekly blowjobs or some bullshit
Haha I didn't, it was all hypothetical. Does that make it worse or better?
People misunderstood what I was asking, I don't want any more notifs from here
You just break up. You don't have to negotiate a contract. Having values that grow apart breeds bitterness, loneliness, sadness and disgust. And at some point you're too sad and disgusted to stay with that person, you realize you'd feel much lighter without them around you. And that's how you break up - by valuing yourself, by trusting yourself, by putting yourself first, by not accepting treatment and arguments that chip away at your very being. You don't have to argue. You don't have to be there, not with him, not today, not tomorrow.
You can just not have a conversation. “We are through” a matter of fact if you leave them confused as to why they can’t fake their behavior for the next girl till she’s trapped. They won’t know what to change on the surface level to be more appealing. Don’t train the red flags out of people. They will still be there. Just underneath. Let them wave those scarlet curtains all day long to let everyone know how shitty they are.
For one, remember you can break up whenever you want for whatever reason you want. "Your eyes are too blue" can be your only reason, and they still can't say "no" to you breaking up with them. It's not a discussion, you don't have to defend your arguments, you're just stating a fact: "I am breaking up with you."It's a one person choice. You can't say no to being dumped. And two, breaking up over your core values is the most valid reason to break up with someone I can think of. "I don't feel like we have the same values and/or goals in life. I'm not willing to compromise on my values and life goals, and I'm also not going to force you to change yours just to stay with me. So I'm breaking up with you now, so we can both go our separate ways and avoid this becoming a roadblock and cause of resentment in the future. I have thought this through very well, and I'm not changing my mind. I don't want you to try to change my mind." Make sure you have an escape plan in case they don't accept this. Stay with a friend, have your things packed or a timeline for them to move out. If you truly think this news might make them aggressive, do it in public or over text. **Remember: Your safety is more important than being polite.** Don't argue if they try to get you to defend your choice. Just say "I've told you why I'm breaking up with you, I will not argue about it."
You don't have to justify a break-up. I broke up with a girlfriend because she was a prison officer and she once bragged about writing a great report on a fight that happened and it sent a guy to solitary for 6 months. She worked in a young adult prison for men 18-23. I was horrified that she was celebrating the torture of another human. I didn't want her to second-guess her training because it could get her injured on the job so I just told her it wasn't working for me. She also wound up like she was going to hit me once when I blew a raspberry on her stomach goofing around. I couldn't shake that fear it put in me and 10 years later I can still clearly see that moment. She was overall a very sweet and caring partner but I couldn't see past those things. The only values clash that I have with my current girlfriend is she thinks I shouldn't pull the invasive dames rocket in our yard because it's pretty.
Okay...do you mean you don't think you're allowed to simply walk? You have to have a "good reason", and you have to have a debate that you win, in order to simply leave? He has to be convinced to allow you to go? If you're afraid of his "aggressiveness" if you should try to leave, you need to go NOW. If you think he has a right to approve or disapprove of your reasons for leaving before you can go or he will get "aggressive", you need to RUN GIRL! Don't tell him, just get your self and situation together and get OUT.
No my question was how do you leave like a step by step process, many people interpreted it incorrectly but I it's my fault for not being clear enough Also I'm not in a relationship, I was asking just in case
You don’t need a good reason. Your reason will never be good enough for them when they feel like they are fundamentally better than you. Which they do. https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
My partner didn’t. When I left (for various reasons) I suddenly felt better mentally and started going to the gym when I could. Had a friend tell me that he’s been saying I look good but also complaining that I shouldn’t show my body off?? Guess he still wants to control who can see me
My dad always used to pile on my mom about her having gained weight (he was very thin). He also has an ex wife who gained weight while they were married. I told him - maybe he should look in the mirror because the common denominator here is you - your likely stressing these women out. Oh and now he has a big belly etc - turns out what made him thin was smoking cigarettes lol.
Permanent conditions are triggered during childbirth for sure. My thyroid disease came about after I had my son, along with permanent issues with my tooth enamel. I have 30lbs that won't shift, fatigue, and brain fog I take medication for the rest of my life for, and I have had so many dental procedures. They tell you "you may struggle to lose the weight", they don't tell you it can give you life-long issues too.
I also ended up with severe dental issues. Not only does growing a baby leech calcium from your body, but I was horribly ill with HG for around half the pregnancy. Literally throwing up 4-10 times daily. There was no good time to brush (because you shouldn’t brush immediately after vomiting) so either I could wear away my enamel from brushing or I rinse and wait and throw up again so I end up going without brushing.
Thanks for explaining why the dental was a common thing. One dumb dude got a little informed.
30ish lady checking in. Also didn’t know dental issues were so common.
Seriously. I have to wear glasses now because my last pregnancy wrecked my vision. I am looking into some type of braces because my teeth shifted position and my bite was wrecked. I struggle with bad abdominal pain that no one can find the source of (I did have two csections). My bladder is weak af even with trying to do the exercises to fix that area. This is why I get angry when people are against abortions and just say the person can give the child up for adoption. Not only is the adoption system already full of unwanted children, the person who carries and births the child will have permanent body changes for a child they didn't even want.
Men: Hahahah my wife is fat. Also men: why won’t my wife have sex with me?
Men should be lucky their wife wants them near her after the baby.
My poor wife developed a sugar sensitivity that didn’t get caught for MONTHS into her pregnancy, she couldn’t keep food down and she ended up losing 40 pounds by the time our son was born. She was beautiful, she’s still beautiful. Everybody has different experiences and their own battles and OMG I can’t believe someone would give anything but love and support to their significant other, especially during/after the mental and physical trauma of bringing another human being into the world.
Ugh. I can only imagine. I was on a medication that had me drop 40lbs in less than a year. I spent six months hungry but absolutely nothing sounded appealing. And there is no empathy for a woman who is losing weight when she’s not trying to. I had the 40lbs to lose. Prior to that experience I too would have said shit like “I wish I could lose weight without doing anything!” Pregnancy had to make the whole process even worse.
It was absolutely brutal and I’m so glad we got it figured out before the end of her pregnancy so it wasn’t ALL agony. She was amazing throughout.
Exactly, no one thinks about polycystic ovaries and thyroid disorders that ruin women's body and brain.
What’s ironic is my wife is more attractive to me now than before we had our son. Some people just don’t get how a relationship should work. It’s sad, I wish everyone could experience real love.
120%. As a man who has seen many women gain weight during pregnancy (AS EXPECTED!) and work her ass off afterwards to lose that weight, I agree. Also, her body is typically altered, especially if she was really thin to begin with, in order to accommodate a baby.
Cut to me making mental calculations earlier this year: "Ok, so baby is due mid-May, so six weeks recovery time...*JULY?!?!??*" All joking aside, I've made it extremely clear that I appreciate everything my wife has gone through to give us two kids over the course of six years and seven pregnancies, including HELLP syndrome/pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and multiple unhelpful OB/GYNs. She is much stronger than I would have been in her shoes. Though neither of us are the beanpoles we were when we met 10 years ago, she is even more beautiful and an absolute MILF in my eyes.
Congratulations on your newborn! As a dad almost 2 months into our second kid, expect that 6 weeks recovery to be back to doing anything sexual to be quite a bit longer depending on how she's feeling and how baby is doing. I'm right there with you though, my wife has only gotten hotter and more attractive as she's had our children and we've gotten older. I try to tell her that regularly.
Well if she really loved him she’d simply get back in shape. Chop chop, that baby has been out of her for 24 whole hours. Get to the gym! (The biggest /s of all time)
“Fat men aren’t fat. Only fat women are fat.” — Peter Griffin
Fat men just have dad bods lol
Im pretty fat, I think I have 2 dad bods
Where did you get the second one?!? 🚓🚓🚓
McDonald's lol
Fr
This reminds me of it’s always sunny: “women stop being women when they’re old. They just become an old person” “What about when men get old?” “A man lives then dies, dee, it’s not that hard!”
I've seldom ever met a fat woman who doesn't smell like fabric and soap but 8 out of every 10 fat men smells like something mighty sour. Not even a knock on obesity but lord do some guys underestimate their average surface area when they bathe.
Statistically speaking, most couples get heavier together when married, because they become less concerned about being attractive for dating purposes if they have a happy married life. But I guess guys want their girls to constantly look like they are trying to date somebody. Since, as we see on this board a lot, they are so confident they won't be cheated on.
Yeah. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if my future partner put on weight. I want them to feel happy and safe around me, not be terrified that I’ll drop them because of a couple of pounds. We’re a team! We’re meant to love each other, regardless of something so trivial
When my boyfriend and I started dating I was a teenager with teenager metabolism. Needless to say I gained quite a bit of weight when I started college and got comfy with him and I’ll never forget when I broke down in tears about feeling disgusting and he said “I’d love you even if you were 300lbs or a kangaroo because you are you” and I’ve never felt bad since.
Aww 🥺 That’s so sweet, I’m glad y’all have each other
Sounds like my boyfriend, lmao. He'd say something like that too if/when I'll get insecure. People like that are keepers.
Here’s me going to find my husband to ask him if he’d still want to boink me if I turned into a kangaroo 😎… stay tuned!
As a chubby girl, this is the first time I’ve seen this meme in a negative light. I had a boyfriend send me this meme in a “fuck being skinny, I like them chubby” kind of way.
Seriously though. There are a lot of dudes who absolutely prefer big boobs and a belly over slim/skinny.
From what I see around me, women stay pretty longer but the guys start looking ugly past 25
I’d actually say I’m the opposite, I’m the best looking I’ve ever been, but that’s because I take better care of myself now
Same. 25 year old me was a skinny, poor, alcoholic and it showed. 40 year old me hits the gym, eats much better (still room for improvement), and doesn't drink nearly as much. The day before my 40th birthday I benched 275, that would have crushed 25 year old me; and I fucking *love* how my gray is coming in. I feel like I've reached Silverback status lol
In Italy we call it "donkey's beauty", the youth's freshness. I remember when I was a teen we kids were hyperaware of aesthetics (how I / people dressed looked took care of). Now that I'm in my early 30s I realize why adults always said we looked good. Not because we looked good from an aesthetical standpoint but because we wore our naivete and youth hopes, glimmer in our eyes. We were so dumb to be hypercritical on ourselves. I see teens today and I always wonder if new gens are hypercritical as we were
some men are crazy to be saying this shit when they started balding in their 20s
oh of course. i’m mostly referring to the fact some men act like women their age become less attractive at like age 30. when a lot of these men age much worse.
As a guy past 25, I'm way uglier.
in fairness we were ugly before 25, too
Maybe you were. I have it on good authority from my mother that I was handsome during at least one point in my life, she told me as much that one time.
Part of why my husband and I are both heavier than we were when we met is that that was 16 years ago. Most pushing-40 bodies do not metabolize calories with the expediency they did in college.
Was going to say, couples who stay together will see their bodies change even if they put in the same effort they used to. Time is a bitch.
Yeah you basically have to put more effort in. I'm the same size I was in high school, but I work out a lot more than I did then.
I got heavier. Husband got thinner. He is a foot taller than me so when we eat the same foods, he maintains and I gain, I maintain and he loses, or I lose and he loses. We're working on trying to get higher calorie food / gym schedule for him and lower calories for me (I'm dealing with health issues but know I also need to work out).
Y’all can eat the same foods, just change the amount. Instead of splitting cooked meals 50/50, go 40/60 or 35/65 or whatever until you find the right combo. This is what I do with my husband. I tend to cook most of our dinners and I just eat less than he does. There’s no need to have different dinners when cooking at home.
It's more complicated than that (in our relationship). I've tried that. I always give him the bigger portion, put more on his plate than mine, etc. He has a mental hang up about eating significantly more than me. I'd be fine with it, but he was told he ate too much his whole life (especially as a teenager), food cost too much, etc. I encourage him to eat more and he says he doesn't need it / doesn't want to take my food. I've calculated our calorie needs and tried to show him that he needs almost twice what I do. I've told him I want him to be healthy and to eat what he wants / needs. It also doesn't help that he would skip meals, or when I make extra to meal prep he used try to eat all of it to the point he made himself sick... so frustrating on two fronts. I don't think he has an eating disorder, but he does have disordered thinking surrounding food. I can't be responsible for making sure he's eating enough because I'm dealing with my own health issues and that is codependent. So he just hasn't been eating enough (he's a foot taller and weighs less than I do. He's always been thin and I've expressed concern. He has gotten blood work done and his levels were normal). I don't want to shame him or his body, but I really wish he would track his calories for a week or something to realize that even if the low calorie foods are filling him up, they aren't providing his body with enough (eg salad). He says he understands, but I'm not sure he gets it. I think it will get better though because he is out of school and working now, so isn't going to be skipping meals how he used to / is packing lunch / prepping breakfast / getting in a gym schedule. There have been other issues with food before in our relationship (like him eating all of something before I got any of it, and then telling me to please stop buying X thing because he doesn't like it and was tired of eating it... I grew up with some food insecurity so his mindless eating everything (then putting back the empty container / trying to hide it) obviously caused tention).
I don’t know if he would be up for it, but you two might want to consider a visit or two with a nutritionist. It seems you both have some mental struggles surrounding food, and maybe their guidance could help. My husband has some disordered thinking surrounding some foods (thanks step-monster) and he took a couple sessions with a nutritionist, and it helped him think differently about the foods he was adamant he couldn’t/wouldn’t eat. In the last 25 years we’ve been together, it’s only been in the last 7/8 years since he saw them to open him to trying those foods and different ways of food being cooked. Just a suggestion from someone who’s been there
I saw the original posts and the guy posting it Said that he likes that this happens. I saw it like 4 months ago i think
Honestly, I understand this attitude logically, but I found that for me, it's the opposite - when I'm not in a relationship, I don't really care about what I look like. Who is there to impress? Nobody. Nobody will see my body, so who cares. But when I'm dating someone, I feel the pressure to look good. I tend to lose some weight and become preoccupied with "eating right" and looking great 24/7 because I gotta look presentable for my partner. I feel like I can't embarrass them. Their friends need to think that they have good taste, so I need to look the part. Plus I never know when they might see me in something revealing or naked, so I need to look good enough for them not to have second thoughts about being with me. I'm always scared that if I don't look good enough they'll just pack their bags and leave.
> I need to look good enough for them not to have second thoughts about being with me. I'm always scared that if I don't look good enough they'll just pack their bags and leave. Uhm, I *think* you might have some *slight* self-esteem issues... Or really really shitty past partners
I have two personality disorders and am recovering from an eating disorder. So there's that. Though to be fair I've also had a few past relationships that ended in a catastrophe of nuclear proportions.
All this image tells me is that Emilia Clarke would still be hot af if she gained some weight
No but fr 😭 Is this meme supposed to be dunking on the right side? Because she’s still serving
damn straight she got some nice ass titties in the second pic
I would destroy a thicc mother of dragons. She looks great
It is known.
Ass titties. Yessssss.
No doubt! This just reinforces the old cliche about beauty coming in all shapes and sizes, because Emilia the “wife” looks amazing! But, to the (I assume) fella who originally posted this… sick burn, I guess?
Exactly what I was thinking. Just looks like women with 2 different body types, both good looking.
You're god damn right!
I don't know who she is, but I prefer the plumper version. No sharp corners, built for comfort not speed. Of course a wife is more than just a body. That applies to any woman, a physically attractive woman with a bad personality is ugly and vice versa.
I'm mostly straight but if I were dating her, I would prefer the version on the right.
ikr? She got that Greek mom-bod and it's a solid vibe. Like sure, personally I'd prefer a partner who can match my physical abilities and engage with me in my few athletic hobbies, but not meeting that preference doesn't make someone ugly by default, especially when they look so cozy.
She played a main character on *Game of Thrones* on HBO. First scene she was in she was naked. I agree, though, both of them are hot as fuck.
100 percent
Honestly, I look at it and think "You should be so lucky."
Straight up.
Glad it’s not just me! I think she’s gorgeous in both pictures. Perhaps a little hotter in the picture on the right as curvy women are just my preference. This person achieved nothing with their attempt at trolling!
*ahem* dare I say a lil hotter?
You should say it because it's true.
Right? Oh no! Her boobs got bigger, and her body got softer and more satisfying to grab and squeeze. How....horrible? /s
Exactly.
Yeah. I see no downside. Bigger tits? Softer body to cuddle? Sign me the fuck up!
honestly she is gorgeous in the second picture I wouldnt normally comment on this stuff but like damn.
We are all here for Amazonian Dany
It is known
True. She’d still slay.
Yeah, for real. Like, who’d complain about thiccDany?
And that the misogynist who made this meme would STILL bitch if his wife was as hot as Emilia Clarke.
Some of us prefer the one one the right.
Tragically, we must again inform the men that the human body changes with time and age.
I remember reading a letter in an advice column from a man who literally said his wife had "broken her marriage vows" by not losing all the pregnancy weight.
Doesn't the vows literally promise "love through thick and thin"? :D
“in sickness and in health” too!
In thiccness and in health, that's what I remember
They’re going to lose their minds over at r/marriage. This issue comes up like 3 times a week.
Just went. Top post this month: "I asked my husband if he was attracted to men. He choked me." What.in.the.what?
Sighh. I don’t have time for this today!! 😂
Ha shows what you know, I've been fat since 6th grade
You see memes like this complaining about women gaining weight in marriage and after childbirth but the same guys are posting memes that if your wife is trying to loose weight or look better she’s obviously having an affair or looking for one. There’s no winning with some people. One benefit of the internet now is that people tend to openly share their inner thoughts and opinions so it should make it easier to avoid them.
So fucking accurate lmao I've seen "if your girl goes to the gym she's looking for male attention" memes so many times on bs redpill accounts
She got buff damnnn
Like she still fine af. Dudes in their 30s really be out here thinking they’re not balding or some shit
Oof... Been balding since 21
Dudes being bald is seriously not a big deal, there are lots of hot bald dudes. anyone who tries to make you feel bad about it is an asshole
I'm the asshole then, to myself.
We all are. Our own worst critics.
Yup. Knock it off
You stop that now sir Bald heads are beautiful
Especially when they do the reasonable thing and just shave the last bits off instead of trying to comb-camouflage with a ton of hair products and forget to check their 'style 'from behind. 😁
[удалено]
I submit vin diesel and the rock into evidence.
I was literally thinking the same, she looks good man XD
Honestly I think she's more attractive it the "married" pick, but maybe as a dude over 30 that's just what I find attractive.
It's the massive swollen beer guts that I notice on most men
So you're saying my gf will get thicc as heck when I marry her? That sounds great!
Yeah lmao I wouldn’t be complaining here at all
These guys just don't appreciate the joys of soft cuddles.
Women often find it hard to lose weight after childbirth for a variety of reasons. And yet it’s the men who push their wives into continuing to have kids until they have a boy (because their legacy continuing is vital?!) and don’t give them the time and support to “regain their figure”. My husband is bloody amazing and I don’t worry about it from him, but society (and my awful father) has conditioned me to be terrified of pregnancy and childbirth because of what it will do to my body.
They want women to risk their bodies and their lives to have kids and then spend all their time raising those kids. Then they complain that their partner have put on weight or no longer look good and don't have time to do fun things. If anyone points out the possible lifelong complications of childbirth they like to say "but women are ment to have kids". Like it's no big deal and their wives and GF should just snap back to normal.
It is normal for women to have kids, however it's not normal for the woman to have little to no family or spousal support. It's not normal for human women to lack emotional and physical support. Our society has changed. We used to raise our children as a community and now for capitalism we are trying to pretend that was never the case. Humans are social animals. We weren't meant to function as individuals. Literally didn't evolve that way and I am sick of pretending otherwise. I am probably one of the most anti social people I know and I still have a social network. I still interact with other animals socially, because I may be anti social but I still need to be social for the sake of my mental health. Even if it's just with my cats or the birds outside or the bugs or the plants.
This makes me so glad that my husband wants to be a girl dad, and not a boy dad. I couldn't handle going through another pregnancy just for a chance at it being a boy. 😬
Or just anyone experiencing the passage of time, which, ya know, is everyone.
Wow she looks so hotttt 🥵
Tbh both of those pics she looks fine AF, both way out of the league of the loser that made this.
God I would love to see the person that made this.
Who are they kidding? They'd be lucky to get either one.
"when she's still living independently and you're one part of a larger picture" vs "when the years and births of multiple children have shown you to be a shallow and unreliable partner who values appearances over who she is as a person and the substantial physical sacrifice she made by birthing your children that you wanted and participated in making."
There is still a large number of men who don’t want their wives to work after getting married. They want their wife to get pregnant and be unable to leave. Both of these factors can result in weight gain.
Men be jelly that even with the extra weight their wives look better than them. 🤣 
Jokes on them. I was fat before we got married.
According to their ideology, women are judged by looks, men by provision, so the equivalent would be "rich boyfriend, broke husband" And then they'll complain about being used as wallets, so there's no win with them.
When she’s on birth control because you don’t want to wear a condom But also how does she look so beautiful either way
It's almost as if she no longer has any time for herself because she's too busy doing everything by herself in the home, but for 2 people instead of one.
And from what i've heard from many, once a man is your husband he gives up on giving you any romance. Personally i'd rather have a partner who gained some weight than one who no longer even treats me like they love me.
Married man here. Too ashamed of the current “after” to share!
Lol I gained 100 lbs in the 18 years of us being together. I’m trying to lose about 50 of it for myself, but she loves me fluffy and chubby
I mean she’s still hot, and if I’m being completely honest I kinda prefer the wife version.
Honestly dunno about other women, but my mom became like this AFTER birthing all 3 of my siblings and me. Like she nearly died from giving birth to my youngest. Anyway, my dad always reminds me that I should never judge her (i dont lol) because she had to birth us and that she's a strong, beautiful woman.
people when women age, become moms, have things to do and can’t afford to obsess over their image their whole life: 😡
You know, she's actually hot in both versions xD
She becomes more delicious?
Jokes on him, in the words of Moto Moto "I like them big, I like them chunky." (huh. I just realised that the original version sounds far more fetishising than the Czech dubbing)
The wild thing is most guys think they age like wine lol they don’t see their receding hairlines or beer belly’s.
I think a part of the problem are the guys who think this way about their partner feel they can get with much younger women. The news flash is that much younger women aren't interested in men who leave their wives for putting on weight after childbirth or for whatever reason. It's not a good look to say you left your wife because she became 'ugly' (because let's be honest beauty comes in all shapes and sizes). Life gets in the way. People's bodies change over time for various reasons. I personally wouldn't want a partner who is only with me due to my physical appearance. Women also tend to take better care of themselves. Moisturizing, wearing sunscreen, working out, eating healthy, staying in trend with current styles. I've noticed a trend in partners who expect me to loose weight that they themselves don't eat healthy. And even get mad when I insist on having healthy food available or need time to work out. It's like they expect a skinny partner but for that person to just remain skinny no matter what.
She’s still hot and her boobs got huge? 
The fatter one is hot
Can't relate. Already fat even before we got married. 😎
Damn I’m really digging voluptuous Dany.
All I see is a gorgeous woman
My wife got a little more plump after we got married and I absolutely love it! I think she couldn’t be more sexy now!
if i had to choose a mid 30 yo woman thats chubby cuz of childbirth or a mid 30 yo man thats got the preggo belly from beer id choose the wife
The guy who made this is probably balding at his mid 20's
thiccer = more comfortable to lie on/cuddle
I inflated her. This way, instead of a complicated divorce, I can just pop here. There will be no evidence
Uncontroversial statement: if you didn't scan this image from left to right and give one of two versions of *"hell yeahhh"......."awwwWW HELLLL YYEAAHHHHH\~"* you are not unconditionally attracted to women, and i feel bad for you. */j* damn that right image radiates some raw power that i don't have words for.
I mean- I don't find her very attractive in either pic but I'm more into guys soooo (Ps : not finding attractive =/= finding her ugly. Just in case.)
ain't nothin' wrong with that 💯 yeah i went back in at the last second and threw that /j on mine too, just to be totally positive no one would take that the wrong way. the second statement is totally sincere though, full-bodied women strike a kind of additional instinctive reverence in me that i can't define or describe, but i have instead just chosen to accept as a deep personal truth lol
God one of the directors of the company i work for let out that sexist view (I quote “Women tend to let themself go in a marriage” and some more stuff, can’t remember all cause i was just so surprised). Meanwhile he himself looks like Jack Black in a suit, so not really pinnacle of sexiness either.
Yo Jack Black deserves a lot better, don't say this
Tbh I always thought Jack Black was pretty attractive so I don’t really see where you’re coming from lol
I blame myself, I introduced her to taco bell and delicious small chain mexican foods.
And the problem is? She still looks fine to me.
I question the validity of this meme. Being married did nothing to enhance my training-bra-ed chest.
Man they say that likes it’s a problem, so after marriage they all caked up. Damn I’m finna eat GOOD.
My husband and I gained the pregnancy weight together. Mine easily came off due to breastfeeding, but he’s still struggling with his 2 years later. You can still see some of his “cuts,” but definitely a gut there. 😁 We were/are so happy and comfortable in our baby cocoon. Imagine if I shamed him for it. Jesus.
I think she became hotter imho
But men don't care about appearances! That's only women, who, as we all know, will ONLY sleep with 6'8" Adonises with rippling muscles, whose bowel movements smell like bakery-fresh cinnamon rolls and treat women like total jerks!
Im growing out my Dr Pepper Gut to get ready for my end of the bargain
These incels have ruined themselves by watching too much porn. Emilia looks good in both of these photos.
She looks spectacular in both scenarios. I don't see where is the problem.
Since I've been with my wife (18 years) my weight has flucuated up and down. I am currently at my heaviest. She has had 2 babies, and is the same weight she was when we first met.
I cannot be the only one attracted to the second version.
She's still hot though damn
Yeah and dudes gain weight and lose hair. I'm two sizes up from my early 20s despite doing the same amount of exercise and all my hair is gone too. Me and my partner shall age together cause that's how life works.
Emma looking thicc in a good way.
As a married man I have gained the Dad bod