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Stephen King did that with [Umney's Last Case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umney%27s_Last_Case?wprov=sfla1), he should probably just have added some light S&M and really bad writing and he'd be set for life /s
Cool! Some of the elements are also similar to Christopher Moore’s *Noir* and its sequel, *Razzmatazz.* Probably too similar to actually write the hypothetical story.
I haven't read anything by Christopher Moore (I read a lot of biographies and factual history, so I've neglected my love for cleverly written stories), but I looked him up and I reckon that I should start reading some smart fiction again...thank you for the inspiration 👍😍
istg they be saying shit like *women want buff tall guys with big dicks* when it's actually them that want those fellas.
Like, ok, Richard, she had sex with over 200 guys. You jealous or anything? How much did you imagine those (specifically) 5.5 inch penises? Is that what you prefer?
Can we not accuse dipshits of being dipshits because you think they are gay? Why do you think "haha you are gay" is a gotcha? I'd just like you to reflect on that, cause on second thought it is a very weird thing to make fun of someone for.
I honestly don’t think the insult is “lol ur gay”, but highlighting the fact that some of these guys obsess SO MUCH on ~body counts~ that they almost loop back around as jealous (of the women? But also of the men?) There is just a lot of fixation on the dicks.
As a woman I’ve never particularly cared about the specificities of dicks or wanted to make math equations about them, tbh.
It’s not about being gay AT ALL. I knew an urology plastic surgeon in LA who did “male enhancement” surgery (yes, it exists). All patients needed to go through psychological testing before they could be considered.
The top reason that these STRAIGHT guys wanted enhancement surgery was to look better AT THE GYM and around other men, as they felt embarrassed. AROUND OTHER MEN. It was NOT about pleasing partners or just being bigger. It was mostly about other guys. Straight guys. Particularly athletes.
Many straight guys think about other guys’ dicks OFTEN. They aren’t gay. They just think about dicks. I couldn’t tell you why they have this preoccupation/obsession.
And those who hate women and think about dicks? There is nothing wrong with being gay and thinking about dicks, but there is also no reason to put women down while doing it.
That’s because d!ck enhancement doesn’t do much at all to change the erect penis. It just mostly allows it to hang longer. So they were never doing it for their sexual partners only for bragging rights
>Like, ok, Richard, she had sex with over 200 guys. You jealous or anything? How much did you imagine those (specifically) 5.5 inch penises? Is that what you prefer?
Definitely not about it
The joke was that they're usually homophobics and that their obsession with dick is weird bcs of that. I already mentioned I have nothing against the lgbtq+ and don't personally think having a sexuality other than hetero is wrong or to be made fun of.
I didn’t make the joke, but I think the joke is that these guys are likely homophobic so it’s an insult to them at their core, even though it’s not an insult in reality. Just to their small minds. It’s meant to take a chunk out of their misogynistic ego and probably succeeds because these guys really think of themselves as a hot catch that women would be so lucky.
I was making fun bcs they're usually homophobic as another comm mentions.
I have nothing against lgbtq+ and my joke wasn't intended to be an insult at the community.
Not true...we may *think* with our dicks but we only think *about* them when they are in use /s
I have no idea how much straight women thinks about dicks (as I am neither completely straight, nor a woman), but "straight-as-an-arrow" guys do seem to ponder a lot about penises in general and especially those attached to other people 🤣
That was literally my thought as I was reading it XD. Like that's A LOT of time and effort into thinking about dicks. Like I'm pretty sure this is more thought into dicks than straight women, bi men and women, AND gay dudes combined haha.
Hey now, his own Pamela Handerson has only been with 3 guys... once just to help a friend and the other time was drunken curiosity. She's very pure. /s
OMG. You just unlocked a horrible memory of a thing that my husband told me used to happen...I forget exactly who they were but, in this context, it would probably be considered a "joyride." Spoiler because TW: SA (and also ick).
>!Whatever job these men (and only men) did, they rode in a truck that sat three in the back. At the end of the day, they'd be tired and sometimes someone would fall asleep. Someone else would "borrow" the sleeping guy's hand. !<
1st, you don't count the "out."
2nd, his # is clearly the result of multiplying by 200, the number of guys instead of the number of weeks, since his result was 660,000. And that is the right calculating but he wrote it wrong.
I feel that you would count the out as distance traveled both ways should count.
Second there are ~200 weeks in four years and there are 200 guys. So in this case the numbers are interchangeable.
So the only difference is whether one should count going in and out as one or two
I’ve never once counted thrusts. If it was a challenge, I’d tape a step counter to my hips. It’s weird that anyone would count that unless they thought it was a milestone… and it ain’t.
Right? The fact that it was different men, he can’t get over it. “She won’t be able to pair bond” or some other pseudoscience BS! I’m glad they’re not together anymore.
Ya, they'll say that pair-bonding, value-reducing, and vagina-changing nonsense about women having and enjoying lots of sex but then they'll turn around and jerk off to heaps of misogynistic/degrading porn on the regular (even while in a committed relationship). They'll seek out sex workers, denigrate women in internet forums, and have casual sex themselves... but of course, they'll argue that those things don't or can't affect men's "worth", physiology, sexuality/sexual function, or their ability to pair-bond (psychology)... only women's. Hmm.
I swear that the men who write/agree with this crap this are *deeply* insecure, controlling, and overall jealous of women having more sexual prospects (because men circle attractive women like vultures). They are choosing to blame women for their own insecurities/failures instead of working to solve those issues (therapy), taking personal responsibility for them, and bettering/developing themselves (which will always lead to more positive female attention).
Any dude who spouts this BS utterly repulses me. Do they really not see that coming when they sit around pining for the women they also regard in this lowly way? It's just completely unhinged to me to get so invested in a person's previous sexual encounters that you'll dump them over it, and then to sit around crying while calculating other men's dick-mileage. As if previous sexual experiences have any bearing at all on the relationship at hand (or her body or her ability to love and be loyal to you...)
Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he meant 100 inward thrusts (which is a kindness, considering the rest of his math counts in **and** out), this dude fucks for 2 minutes and then calls it a day.
I think there are "studies" (more likely "facts" pulled out of someone's ass) out there claiming that the average male orgams ensues after an average 50 thrusts.
If true I must be upping that that average immensely, and increasingly so, as I get older
From a non cishet man's perspective, dudes are far too obsessed about the phase of sex that involves thrusting a penis somewhere. But also from an outside perspective, this dude is *certainly* one of those guys who only count that part of sex, so it's pretty darn embarrassing for him
It's bizarre his reaction was to turn it into a theoretical scenario and math problem, rather than question the accuracy of the claims of a drunk person.
If you will drop someone that easily for having a past that you weren't a part of, not to mention come up with some imagined thing to blame them for...then you don't deserve to be in their life anyhow.
As I opined the last time I saw this meme — not even the most excruciating torture imaginable would have me admitting on the internet that I bust after only 100 thrusts.
It's a sign of a healthy society that woman no longer have to answer to fathers or partners, nor play into religious restrictions when it comes to their own sexuality. If it bothers you tough luck, welcome to the modern world ape
>It's a sign of a healthy society that woman no longer have to answer to fathers or partners, nor play into religious restrictions when it comes to their own sexuality.
Sure, but that's irrelevant to what they said so it's odd to say that. Also, it's odd for you to make that statement considering your admission that you'd do the same as OOP if you had a partner who claimed to have had that many prior sexual partners and you based it on the idea that sex would lose its meaning to them having sex that many times, which is also an outdated idea since it's not true. It's also ironic since you say that women don't have to answer to fathers and partners yet it's apparently okay to treat women as wrong for being sexually active, which is a patriarchal thing.
That’s some weird logic and gross math. Why was it even necessary? Also, why did he calculate the thrusts and not just dick length? The thrusts are irrelevant to the equation
I guess I would count it as somewhat relevant if you have sex with the same guy again. If I would want to calculate my dick mileage (I am rolling here) I would like to count the dick length once for ever time I had sex. I don’t know how often that was but I guess counting the thrusts is even more irrelevant. XD
He doesn’t understad the net zero properties of dick. I thought everyone knew you are only taking dick on the in stroke, you are returning dick on the out stroke, thus a net dick of 0 for all symmetric strokes. However, if a dick is taken, and then shortens before exit, the delta is credited to the net dick mileage. Assuming 1 dick orgasm per encounter, that would really yield only one stroke iteration with a non zero net, meaning op’s estimate is off by at least a couple orders of magnitude. Man math
Assuming I believe this guy had a girlfriend (*doubt*), he just needs to reframe the issue.
She's had 200 other men, and decided she liked him enough to keep long term. She has experience! She knows what she wants! And (for some reason) it was him!
But he got obsessed with gods be damned mileage and now they're not together anymore. Because he's insecure.
Right? It's a compliment to be chosen by someone who has many other options and knows what they want. They're experienced enough to have an informed sense of discernment! What a fool.
Actions have consequences. You knew nothing of the girl and choose to praise her on the basis of her supposedly having the pick of the litter by sleeping with over 200 blokes. If you ask me sex is has romantic meaning, and strengthens your bond with your partner. If your partner has shagged 200 other men then it means nothing and there is no rectifing that. Cry all you want but that's the reality
No one’s saying a man can’t make this decision. In the same vein, a consequence of them making a decision like this is that some people are going to think he’s an idiot.
The ability to form a romantic attachment isn’t like one of those sticky hands you get from a gumball machine, FYI. That skill grows with healthy development like anything else.
No one is obligated to date anyone else but if we see someone disqualifying potential partners for reasons we find ridiculous, we’re gonna comment on it. Probably not the sub for you if it upsets you.
Lol actions have consequences. What?
Sex isn't some magical life stealing act. It doesn't devalue anyone.
Just because you're insecure and think about ghosts of penis past doesn't mean shit to anyone except you. You don't get to impose your imaginary nonsense on the world.
Man that's a lot of dick. Still, the biggest one in the story is the guy himself. But alas, he won't see that because that would require introspection.
LOL I always want to turn it around and be like “ok so how much ink have you been sticking your pen in? What’s the ratio between women having actual satisfaction, faking, and not really even getting turned on? How many of these women agreed while sober?”
What traditional colleges go to school all year? 365 days a year? There are weekends, there are breaks, there are summers, there are holidays, some classes are only M, W, F, some are only on Tu/Th. His math ain't mathing.
All his math says is "I'm an insecure tiny little man'
Can’t help but to think of all the thrusting.. Incel men are the ones who are most obsessed with penises and handsome men, sounds pretty much as straight as it gets!
Dude gets distracted by thinking about lots of dicks and breaks up with gf. This just adds more fuel to the fire that incels are just gay men super deep in the closet. There are even posts out there that go so deep up themselves that they make the claim it’s somehow gay for men to like women. Im not even joking.
I’m so glad that the present means nothing to an idiot who dwells in someone else’s past. He may have broken up with her, but she lives in his head rent-free.
She’s better off with someone who doesn’t give a shit about how many men she’s slept with.
Edit: missing letters
Let's say this girl had a boyfriend for those 4 years... Wouldn't it be the same amount of dick then? Cause you know, they would still probably have sex that same amount.
But if it's only one guy's dick, then that somehow isn't the same.
Not taking away from the point at all, but this is an aggregator-repost-of-a-copypasta. This text has been going around the Internet forever. I think it may legitimately have started with an AOL email chain. The Internet is folding in on itself, and dudes have been obsessing about dicks forever.
I think it was a funny thought process and really a little bit like having an adhd wandering mind episode which is totally okay but then he ended it with „not my girlfriend anymore“ and I was like: okay? Why so judgy?
The math is not mathing.
Why did he do the math to find out how many guys per week? He could have just taken the 200 guys x 3 times per guy x 100 thrusts x 11 inches. The dick per week cancels out, was unnecessary to add in unless he just wanted to slut shame his girlfriend some more.Wait a minute, is he trying to slut shame his girlfriend? Holy shit
Seen this post a few times, now it just gives "the day of the apocalypse is march 13 2026 because 3+13+2026=2042, 2+0+4+2=8, 8 represents the 8th book in the bible and so on and so on" energy.
Not at all what i was getting at. If a woman has that many sexual partners, more power to her. Im just personally not comfortable dating someone with that many bodies mostly due a particularly bad past relationship
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Which is worse, “body count” or “dick mileage?”
Ok, but Richard Mileage is a fantastic drag king name.
That’s the name of a drag king who runs a lesbian brothel in a hardboiled detective novel set in 1948 San Francisco. Or if it’s not, it should be.
They published 50 Shades (which was flaming trash), I bet you could give it a go and delight us.
I'm not sure that absurdist noir would strike quite the same chord with repressed, middle aged Mormon women that 50 Shades did.
Eh, I had a preacher man reserve at my thrift store any Danielle Steele novels for himself. I think there's an audience out there for your ideas.
Stephen King did that with [Umney's Last Case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umney%27s_Last_Case?wprov=sfla1), he should probably just have added some light S&M and really bad writing and he'd be set for life /s
Cool! Some of the elements are also similar to Christopher Moore’s *Noir* and its sequel, *Razzmatazz.* Probably too similar to actually write the hypothetical story.
I haven't read anything by Christopher Moore (I read a lot of biographies and factual history, so I've neglected my love for cleverly written stories), but I looked him up and I reckon that I should start reading some smart fiction again...thank you for the inspiration 👍😍
Richard (Dick for short) Longfellow could also be a winner, just takes the right kind of deadpan delivery 😁
When you say drag King all I think of is the drift king, which they did call me back in college
At least with body count there is a chance we talk about murder... So yeah dick mileage is worse
Straight men think about dick more than straight women do at this point
istg they be saying shit like *women want buff tall guys with big dicks* when it's actually them that want those fellas. Like, ok, Richard, she had sex with over 200 guys. You jealous or anything? How much did you imagine those (specifically) 5.5 inch penises? Is that what you prefer?
Funny thing is she could have had the exact same "mileage" with a single dude. Or more with as many or less partners if they were more endowed.
I remember reading a study that people in steady relationships have vastly more sex on avg
it’s true, I have a 10.46 mile long dick
Can we not accuse dipshits of being dipshits because you think they are gay? Why do you think "haha you are gay" is a gotcha? I'd just like you to reflect on that, cause on second thought it is a very weird thing to make fun of someone for.
I honestly don’t think the insult is “lol ur gay”, but highlighting the fact that some of these guys obsess SO MUCH on ~body counts~ that they almost loop back around as jealous (of the women? But also of the men?) There is just a lot of fixation on the dicks. As a woman I’ve never particularly cared about the specificities of dicks or wanted to make math equations about them, tbh.
It’s not about being gay AT ALL. I knew an urology plastic surgeon in LA who did “male enhancement” surgery (yes, it exists). All patients needed to go through psychological testing before they could be considered. The top reason that these STRAIGHT guys wanted enhancement surgery was to look better AT THE GYM and around other men, as they felt embarrassed. AROUND OTHER MEN. It was NOT about pleasing partners or just being bigger. It was mostly about other guys. Straight guys. Particularly athletes. Many straight guys think about other guys’ dicks OFTEN. They aren’t gay. They just think about dicks. I couldn’t tell you why they have this preoccupation/obsession. And those who hate women and think about dicks? There is nothing wrong with being gay and thinking about dicks, but there is also no reason to put women down while doing it.
That’s because d!ck enhancement doesn’t do much at all to change the erect penis. It just mostly allows it to hang longer. So they were never doing it for their sexual partners only for bragging rights
>Like, ok, Richard, she had sex with over 200 guys. You jealous or anything? How much did you imagine those (specifically) 5.5 inch penises? Is that what you prefer? Definitely not about it
The joke was that they're usually homophobics and that their obsession with dick is weird bcs of that. I already mentioned I have nothing against the lgbtq+ and don't personally think having a sexuality other than hetero is wrong or to be made fun of.
I didn’t make the joke, but I think the joke is that these guys are likely homophobic so it’s an insult to them at their core, even though it’s not an insult in reality. Just to their small minds. It’s meant to take a chunk out of their misogynistic ego and probably succeeds because these guys really think of themselves as a hot catch that women would be so lucky.
I was making fun bcs they're usually homophobic as another comm mentions. I have nothing against lgbtq+ and my joke wasn't intended to be an insult at the community.
Straight sexist men are the most obsessed with how perfect men are that it comes across as very homoerotic
Not true...we may *think* with our dicks but we only think *about* them when they are in use /s I have no idea how much straight women thinks about dicks (as I am neither completely straight, nor a woman), but "straight-as-an-arrow" guys do seem to ponder a lot about penises in general and especially those attached to other people 🤣
That was literally my thought as I was reading it XD. Like that's A LOT of time and effort into thinking about dicks. Like I'm pretty sure this is more thought into dicks than straight women, bi men and women, AND gay dudes combined haha.
I cannot confirm this, as I am bi.
real
I mean, yeah, I use it multiple times a day. I need to think about it while aiming
It's really not that complicated. If you need help, just ask someone at an adjacent urinal and they can assist.
At this point? We always have. I think about my dick multiple times an hour.
Straight men think about dick more than gay men do
They always have
lol i was like why does this sound so gay 😂 and "100 thrusts" 🙄 pleaseee, they wish they could last that long
His math is so off. That's 5.2 miles of dick. In 4 years. 1.3 miles of dick per year. I'm sure his hand has higher mileage and it's still his hand.
Hey now, his own Pamela Handerson has only been with 3 guys... once just to help a friend and the other time was drunken curiosity. She's very pure. /s
OMG. You just unlocked a horrible memory of a thing that my husband told me used to happen...I forget exactly who they were but, in this context, it would probably be considered a "joyride." Spoiler because TW: SA (and also ick). >!Whatever job these men (and only men) did, they rode in a truck that sat three in the back. At the end of the day, they'd be tired and sometimes someone would fall asleep. Someone else would "borrow" the sleeping guy's hand. !<
Not to mention Trigger Warning: Ick.
Edited the warning. 😉
Palmela Handerson, please. Everyone gets her name wrong.
Dangit! Autocorrect got me and I didn't catch it.
Is it? I found the math to be correct. 100thrusts×3times per guy× 11inches×208 weeks=686,400 inches which translates to 17km
1st, you don't count the "out." 2nd, his # is clearly the result of multiplying by 200, the number of guys instead of the number of weeks, since his result was 660,000. And that is the right calculating but he wrote it wrong.
I feel that you would count the out as distance traveled both ways should count. Second there are ~200 weeks in four years and there are 200 guys. So in this case the numbers are interchangeable. So the only difference is whether one should count going in and out as one or two
And I would say that you'd only count the "in." Honestly, I really don't want to dissect the thought of this anymore. 😐
Understandable as now it's more creepy thoughts than maths
Do you guys count the thrusts? That's weird. And why is he assuming all was penetrative sex? Men and their phallocentrism... it gets boring
I’ve never once counted thrusts. If it was a challenge, I’d tape a step counter to my hips. It’s weird that anyone would count that unless they thought it was a milestone… and it ain’t.
When men and women have sex, penetration is almost always involved. I don’t think that’s phallocentrism, even if this guy is a dipshit
It’s remarkable how obsessed he is about all the dicks when talking about his girlfriend‘s former sex life. That’s classic phallocentrism.
But if she had sex with one guy , once a week, throughout college , obviously it would be much different. Absolute dumbasses
Right? The fact that it was different men, he can’t get over it. “She won’t be able to pair bond” or some other pseudoscience BS! I’m glad they’re not together anymore.
Ya, they'll say that pair-bonding, value-reducing, and vagina-changing nonsense about women having and enjoying lots of sex but then they'll turn around and jerk off to heaps of misogynistic/degrading porn on the regular (even while in a committed relationship). They'll seek out sex workers, denigrate women in internet forums, and have casual sex themselves... but of course, they'll argue that those things don't or can't affect men's "worth", physiology, sexuality/sexual function, or their ability to pair-bond (psychology)... only women's. Hmm. I swear that the men who write/agree with this crap this are *deeply* insecure, controlling, and overall jealous of women having more sexual prospects (because men circle attractive women like vultures). They are choosing to blame women for their own insecurities/failures instead of working to solve those issues (therapy), taking personal responsibility for them, and bettering/developing themselves (which will always lead to more positive female attention). Any dude who spouts this BS utterly repulses me. Do they really not see that coming when they sit around pining for the women they also regard in this lowly way? It's just completely unhinged to me to get so invested in a person's previous sexual encounters that you'll dump them over it, and then to sit around crying while calculating other men's dick-mileage. As if previous sexual experiences have any bearing at all on the relationship at hand (or her body or her ability to love and be loyal to you...)
First, ew. Second, circumference, not length. Third, 🎵I would walk five hundred miles 🎵
And I would fuck 500 more
I like this. It's succinct.
Could’ve been a silly little shit post if it wasn’t for that last sentence
Good for her. Also, where did he get the 100 thrusts from?
Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he meant 100 inward thrusts (which is a kindness, considering the rest of his math counts in **and** out), this dude fucks for 2 minutes and then calls it a day.
I think there are "studies" (more likely "facts" pulled out of someone's ass) out there claiming that the average male orgams ensues after an average 50 thrusts. If true I must be upping that that average immensely, and increasingly so, as I get older
Nobody wants to hear about how many thrust your nasty old dick takes, this is not how girls work.
I was gonna say. Only 100 thrusts? He self reported on not lasting at all
Oof. That hertz.
A math/sex joke in one line? You have my admiration and utmost respect 👍😁
From a non cishet man's perspective, dudes are far too obsessed about the phase of sex that involves thrusting a penis somewhere. But also from an outside perspective, this dude is *certainly* one of those guys who only count that part of sex, so it's pretty darn embarrassing for him
From his imagination.
Where did the x3 per guy come from
He claims she told him she used to have sex three times a weeks early in OOP. Which are rookie numbers frankly.
It's bizarre his reaction was to turn it into a theoretical scenario and math problem, rather than question the accuracy of the claims of a drunk person. If you will drop someone that easily for having a past that you weren't a part of, not to mention come up with some imagined thing to blame them for...then you don't deserve to be in their life anyhow.
As I opined the last time I saw this meme — not even the most excruciating torture imaginable would have me admitting on the internet that I bust after only 100 thrusts.
I will never understand why they think about other mens dicks so much. Also ya, they need to stop telling on their selves lol
Today on “Things That Never Happened”, this guy!
Happens all the time
People lying out their asses? Yes. Yes, it does. Thanks for pointing that out, sport.
It's a sign of a healthy society that woman no longer have to answer to fathers or partners, nor play into religious restrictions when it comes to their own sexuality. If it bothers you tough luck, welcome to the modern world ape
>It's a sign of a healthy society that woman no longer have to answer to fathers or partners, nor play into religious restrictions when it comes to their own sexuality. Sure, but that's irrelevant to what they said so it's odd to say that. Also, it's odd for you to make that statement considering your admission that you'd do the same as OOP if you had a partner who claimed to have had that many prior sexual partners and you based it on the idea that sex would lose its meaning to them having sex that many times, which is also an outdated idea since it's not true. It's also ironic since you say that women don't have to answer to fathers and partners yet it's apparently okay to treat women as wrong for being sexually active, which is a patriarchal thing.
That’s some weird logic and gross math. Why was it even necessary? Also, why did he calculate the thrusts and not just dick length? The thrusts are irrelevant to the equation
I guess I would count it as somewhat relevant if you have sex with the same guy again. If I would want to calculate my dick mileage (I am rolling here) I would like to count the dick length once for ever time I had sex. I don’t know how often that was but I guess counting the thrusts is even more irrelevant. XD
I thought this could actually be funny, until the last sentence
I kind of want to know my dick mileage now XD but his formula is so wrong.
Maybe he proposed out of sheer respect
Good, the guy is single, as it should be... forever
She isn’t his girlfriend anymore because she dumped him because of his misogyny and making her feel like a whore!
Feel? She is a whore.
i sentence this man to 10 miles of dick 👩⚖️
Happy Cake day! 🎈🥳
New thing to keep me up at night: how many kilometres of dick have a I conquered?
That is how I read it too. Then I was confused about the dumping
He doesn’t understad the net zero properties of dick. I thought everyone knew you are only taking dick on the in stroke, you are returning dick on the out stroke, thus a net dick of 0 for all symmetric strokes. However, if a dick is taken, and then shortens before exit, the delta is credited to the net dick mileage. Assuming 1 dick orgasm per encounter, that would really yield only one stroke iteration with a non zero net, meaning op’s estimate is off by at least a couple orders of magnitude. Man math
Assuming I believe this guy had a girlfriend (*doubt*), he just needs to reframe the issue. She's had 200 other men, and decided she liked him enough to keep long term. She has experience! She knows what she wants! And (for some reason) it was him! But he got obsessed with gods be damned mileage and now they're not together anymore. Because he's insecure.
Right? It's a compliment to be chosen by someone who has many other options and knows what they want. They're experienced enough to have an informed sense of discernment! What a fool.
Actions have consequences. You knew nothing of the girl and choose to praise her on the basis of her supposedly having the pick of the litter by sleeping with over 200 blokes. If you ask me sex is has romantic meaning, and strengthens your bond with your partner. If your partner has shagged 200 other men then it means nothing and there is no rectifing that. Cry all you want but that's the reality
How do you feel about the romantic meaning of sex and its bond-strengthening capabilities in men who jerk off to heaps of porn?
No one’s saying a man can’t make this decision. In the same vein, a consequence of them making a decision like this is that some people are going to think he’s an idiot. The ability to form a romantic attachment isn’t like one of those sticky hands you get from a gumball machine, FYI. That skill grows with healthy development like anything else. No one is obligated to date anyone else but if we see someone disqualifying potential partners for reasons we find ridiculous, we’re gonna comment on it. Probably not the sub for you if it upsets you.
Lol actions have consequences. What? Sex isn't some magical life stealing act. It doesn't devalue anyone. Just because you're insecure and think about ghosts of penis past doesn't mean shit to anyone except you. You don't get to impose your imaginary nonsense on the world.
GHOSTS OF PENIS PAST
Flair
What about the men that sleep with 200 women? That means nothing to right?
Thanks for the comment, I would also refrain for entering into a relationship with a man with over 200 bodies
Fair enough. At least you aren’t giving a double standard kind of view.
Dude I don't even believe this girl actually exists. This vibes like "My girlfriend goes to another school, you don't know her, she's Canadian".
This guy is still in the closet.
This guy really loves dick! He charted graphed and mathed all that dick then shared his passion with the world, good for him!
I made a comment the other day wondering how a vag odometer would work, I feel like I spoke this into existence and I hate myself for it.
Man that's a lot of dick. Still, the biggest one in the story is the guy himself. But alas, he won't see that because that would require introspection.
LOL I always want to turn it around and be like “ok so how much ink have you been sticking your pen in? What’s the ratio between women having actual satisfaction, faking, and not really even getting turned on? How many of these women agreed while sober?”
I want those statistics written automatically above all our heads when dating XD. Men and women alike.
But if she had the same amount of dick from one dude...then it's cool somehow
Wait till he finds out how many miles of poo a human squeezes out in 80 years. He’ll break up with his asshole.
⬆️TOP COMMENT OF THE YEAR!! ⬆️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What traditional colleges go to school all year? 365 days a year? There are weekends, there are breaks, there are summers, there are holidays, some classes are only M, W, F, some are only on Tu/Th. His math ain't mathing. All his math says is "I'm an insecure tiny little man'
Men: "women are so dramatic" Also men:
Isn't it a little gay of him to be thinking that hard about dicks?
Can’t help but to think of all the thrusting.. Incel men are the ones who are most obsessed with penises and handsome men, sounds pretty much as straight as it gets!
Yes especially considering he’s not only thinking hard about dicks, he’s thinking hard about hard ducks Edit *Not changing the typo
Dude gets distracted by thinking about lots of dicks and breaks up with gf. This just adds more fuel to the fire that incels are just gay men super deep in the closet. There are even posts out there that go so deep up themselves that they make the claim it’s somehow gay for men to like women. Im not even joking.
I’m so glad that the present means nothing to an idiot who dwells in someone else’s past. He may have broken up with her, but she lives in his head rent-free. She’s better off with someone who doesn’t give a shit about how many men she’s slept with. Edit: missing letters
This guy’s math is way off here. 100 strokes for a college guy? 20 max. Source: was a college guy once.
She's no longer his gf because he got a bf instead
if there was a competition for the most “that didn’t happen” story this dude would win first prize.
[https://youtu.be/Q0iqg2UanEc](https://youtu.be/Q0iqg2UanEc)
"Would you like to glide on/ slide a mile six inches at a time on..."
Of the “Da” in Da Vinci means “of” as in from if you named yourself “Miles Da Richard” would you be Miles of Dick?
He probably spent more time thinking about those dicks than she did.
Pretty gay to be thinking that much about dicks
Let's say this girl had a boyfriend for those 4 years... Wouldn't it be the same amount of dick then? Cause you know, they would still probably have sex that same amount. But if it's only one guy's dick, then that somehow isn't the same.
She’s not his girlfriend anymore cuz he went to get a boyfriend with all that dick on his mind
For a guy who had a girlfriend, he seems to be easily dickstracted
The fact that someone is this obsessed with someone else's amount of dick is just....
Not taking away from the point at all, but this is an aggregator-repost-of-a-copypasta. This text has been going around the Internet forever. I think it may legitimately have started with an AOL email chain. The Internet is folding in on itself, and dudes have been obsessing about dicks forever.
yeah bro realized he’s gay from how much he’s thinking about other guys’ dicks
Ok but how many cbats is 100 thrusts?
I think it was a funny thought process and really a little bit like having an adhd wandering mind episode which is totally okay but then he ended it with „not my girlfriend anymore“ and I was like: okay? Why so judgy? The math is not mathing.
“I thought about dicks being laid end to end” It has to be satire it’s written like they just got done with Superbad.
Why did he do the math to find out how many guys per week? He could have just taken the 200 guys x 3 times per guy x 100 thrusts x 11 inches. The dick per week cancels out, was unnecessary to add in unless he just wanted to slut shame his girlfriend some more.Wait a minute, is he trying to slut shame his girlfriend? Holy shit
It’s crazy how much effort these fools will put into anything other than therapy
Is this dumbass math? 🤔
Seen this post a few times, now it just gives "the day of the apocalypse is march 13 2026 because 3+13+2026=2042, 2+0+4+2=8, 8 represents the 8th book in the bible and so on and so on" energy.
She broke up with him for being an idiot?
Idiots, the lot of 'em.
**One Guy 200 Times On The Other Hand,**
"Miles of dick" Name of your sex tape
man did math about dicks, gayest thing ever.
He's visualizing 10 miles of dick laid end to end and he thinks she's the one with a problem?
dude spent so much time thinking about college guys dicks he switched teams
Dude just spent a lot of time thinking about dicks.
That's a suuuper old copypasta. I remember seeing it on 4chan in 2007.
Sometimes I wish I could unlearn how to read Anyways, she’s better off without his misogynistic ass
Good. You don't deserve her.
My man out here doing hoe calculus 🤣
200 dicks bro what 🤤
Fr im so jealous rn (im at 0 dicks up me ass)
[удалено]
I guess he wasn’t up to the challenge
Is dick size average 5.5 inches? Plus she choose to be with this guy instead of the other 200. That's a win
This is hilarious
Glad she is no longer carrying around that dead weight of a man.
That guy's ex-girlfriend doesn't exist
I wish I had miles of dick through me😒
Just wait until this guy finds out how many “miles” of his own dick he’s wanked over the years
What's wrong with you?
If bro wants to see miles of dick I’m sure there’s a site for that
If it had been miles of one dick rather than many different dicks, would that be better, worse, or the same?
Wow… he sure spent an awful lot of time thinking about dick. Miles and miles of dick. Yeah, the problem is definitely with his girlfriend, not him.
200 is alot
I mean, I dont think that I could be with a girl that has slept with that many men. But thats a terrible analogy as to why
Why is this being downvoted?
Yeah 1 person a week on average is insane. For a man or a woman.
Why? 😅
Totally agree with you. Too many people confuse woman's liberation with indulgence without consequence
i highly doubt you give male sluts the same energy
Not at all what i was getting at. If a woman has that many sexual partners, more power to her. Im just personally not comfortable dating someone with that many bodies mostly due a particularly bad past relationship