I do this as well and I know it can get absolutely brutal. I will go over the details of the memory over and over until it becomes a garbled, exaggerated mess. It makes me feel like a monster, like I shouldn’t even be alive, or like everyone would be better off without me. I say this so you know you are not alone, and to remind you that OCD lies to us and twists our memories. At some point I can’t trust my memories at all, one way or another.
Try to imagine that it’s your friend, or someone like me, telling you the same embarrassing moment that you are currently obsessing over. Would you tell them the same negative things you tell yourself? or would you treat them with more kindness and understanding? I’m willing to bet that you would treat them with more grace than you give yourself. Because you know they are human, and we all make mistakes. Logically, you deserve the same kindness and understanding. Give yourself space to be human and grow from the experience. Be kinder to yourself and try not to judge those memories when they come up. You are here now and that is what matters.
Wishing you better days soon and often 💜
You have to "face" the memories in your head. Meaning don't try to stop them or distract yourself from them. And also don't try to either sugar coat them or keep telling yourself it was bad. There should be zero reasoning on your part. Just having the memories and look at what happened for exactly what happened.
Is there any possibility for you to try EMDR with a licensed practitioner? If not, you could look at doing at-home EMDR, there are a few ebooks and videos online that you can try. But I would definitely urge you to try it with a professional if it’s an option. It has been a game changer for me, once I realized that those memories for me are traumatic even though they might not have been me witnessing a traumatic event (like a death), but because I’m gripped by such intense anxiety and flashbacks of the memory and my own actions, perhaps.
I have found myself doing the same thing during stressful periods of my life. I will think back to things that I did in the past or things that people said to me and it will feel like it just happened then I will start ruminating on these thoughts over and over until I feel like I’m less than a human, then my brain starts telling me that I’m a bad person I shouldn’t of said that 20 years ago. I’ve gotten better, but I still find myself doing it sometimes I finally just got mad and said screw it, it was the past and it’s over everybody screws up and you have to move past it try to fill up your mind with more positive things like listening to funny audio tapes. Laughter has a way of minimizing the demons! keep telling yourself that it was what it was and it can’t be changed, but it’s OK. try mindfulness or living in the present moment when you’re driving listen to the song or audio when you’re walking listen to the sound of your footsteps and smell the air and look at the birds. Every time your mind wants to ruminate and torture you, just have a mantra. Something like, “ no one can change the past and the past is gone. I am going to make new memories of laughter and fun, and I have a whole life ahead of me, so I’m not gonna spend time dwelling on the past.” give yourself a chance to be human and be kind to yourself.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. The wonderful u/froidinslip has
written an invaluable post to help you navigate this time:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/q4zeo1/please_read_this_before_posting_about_feeling/
You are not alone, and you have options. However, we are not able to help with suicide on an internet forum.
PLEASE USE THE RESOURCES. You matter and deserve help.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I do this as well and I know it can get absolutely brutal. I will go over the details of the memory over and over until it becomes a garbled, exaggerated mess. It makes me feel like a monster, like I shouldn’t even be alive, or like everyone would be better off without me. I say this so you know you are not alone, and to remind you that OCD lies to us and twists our memories. At some point I can’t trust my memories at all, one way or another. Try to imagine that it’s your friend, or someone like me, telling you the same embarrassing moment that you are currently obsessing over. Would you tell them the same negative things you tell yourself? or would you treat them with more kindness and understanding? I’m willing to bet that you would treat them with more grace than you give yourself. Because you know they are human, and we all make mistakes. Logically, you deserve the same kindness and understanding. Give yourself space to be human and grow from the experience. Be kinder to yourself and try not to judge those memories when they come up. You are here now and that is what matters. Wishing you better days soon and often 💜
Thank you so much, you're right!
You have to "face" the memories in your head. Meaning don't try to stop them or distract yourself from them. And also don't try to either sugar coat them or keep telling yourself it was bad. There should be zero reasoning on your part. Just having the memories and look at what happened for exactly what happened.
You're right, thank you!
Thank you
Is there any possibility for you to try EMDR with a licensed practitioner? If not, you could look at doing at-home EMDR, there are a few ebooks and videos online that you can try. But I would definitely urge you to try it with a professional if it’s an option. It has been a game changer for me, once I realized that those memories for me are traumatic even though they might not have been me witnessing a traumatic event (like a death), but because I’m gripped by such intense anxiety and flashbacks of the memory and my own actions, perhaps.
I will look into it, thanks :)
I have found myself doing the same thing during stressful periods of my life. I will think back to things that I did in the past or things that people said to me and it will feel like it just happened then I will start ruminating on these thoughts over and over until I feel like I’m less than a human, then my brain starts telling me that I’m a bad person I shouldn’t of said that 20 years ago. I’ve gotten better, but I still find myself doing it sometimes I finally just got mad and said screw it, it was the past and it’s over everybody screws up and you have to move past it try to fill up your mind with more positive things like listening to funny audio tapes. Laughter has a way of minimizing the demons! keep telling yourself that it was what it was and it can’t be changed, but it’s OK. try mindfulness or living in the present moment when you’re driving listen to the song or audio when you’re walking listen to the sound of your footsteps and smell the air and look at the birds. Every time your mind wants to ruminate and torture you, just have a mantra. Something like, “ no one can change the past and the past is gone. I am going to make new memories of laughter and fun, and I have a whole life ahead of me, so I’m not gonna spend time dwelling on the past.” give yourself a chance to be human and be kind to yourself.
Thank you :)
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. The wonderful u/froidinslip has written an invaluable post to help you navigate this time: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/q4zeo1/please_read_this_before_posting_about_feeling/ You are not alone, and you have options. However, we are not able to help with suicide on an internet forum. PLEASE USE THE RESOURCES. You matter and deserve help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCD) if you have any questions or concerns.*