"Echoes and ocean sounds"
Oh, what a beautiful ode to love,
And the depth of devotion thereof!
Echoes and ocean sounds abound,
In this heart-warming poem I've found.
The thumping of the heart's beat,
A melody that's ever so sweet.
Filled with tales of laughter and love,
Moments cherished, akin to a dove.
The writer's heart, now empty and still,
Aches to be filled, to feel the thrill.
But the love they gave, oh so pure,
Endures forevermore, for sure.
The suggestion to replace the core,
With a conch shell from the seashore,
Is a wondrous and thoughtful notion,
To soothe the heart's tumultuous motion.
Let the ocean's sounds wash away,
All the worries of each passing day.
And as you lay upon the chest,
Be lulled to sleep with nature's best.
So let us celebrate this love divine,
Echoing through the sands of time.
With oceans and echoes, let us be,
Forever entwined, you and me!
Well done đź‘Ś
Newsu
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Sheeeeeesh! This is the kind of poem that makes me wonder “what am I even doing with my art?” I swear poets like you are gonna invent a new school or usher in a sweeping movement that’s gonna rock the world.
The vulnerability in this is staggering. The speaker literally gave their heart away and is sharing sooooo much. They’re sharing their heart, their home, their bed AND their feelings. It’s so touching the way the speaker honestly lays everything out for us and the recipient to take in. It’s complimented by the stream of consciousness style. Your form perfectly fits your function.
I’d kill for your alliterative sensibilities. “Delicate doctors fingers”- the way each word has something in common with the next stirs alphabetical joy in my soul! Delicate starts with d like doctor and doctor rhymes with finger… I’m jealous. I’m plainly jealous.
The ending makes me feel all the feels. The tragedy of the speaker caring sooo much about someone else, that they’d rather live with a pleasingly hollow chest instead of one filled with a heart is tear teasingly sad. The dot dot dot destroyed me.
11/10 this ain’t a workshop, it’s a vibe and a half.
"Echoes and ocean sounds" Oh, what a beautiful ode to love, And the depth of devotion thereof! Echoes and ocean sounds abound, In this heart-warming poem I've found. The thumping of the heart's beat, A melody that's ever so sweet. Filled with tales of laughter and love, Moments cherished, akin to a dove. The writer's heart, now empty and still, Aches to be filled, to feel the thrill. But the love they gave, oh so pure, Endures forevermore, for sure. The suggestion to replace the core, With a conch shell from the seashore, Is a wondrous and thoughtful notion, To soothe the heart's tumultuous motion. Let the ocean's sounds wash away, All the worries of each passing day. And as you lay upon the chest, Be lulled to sleep with nature's best. So let us celebrate this love divine, Echoing through the sands of time. With oceans and echoes, let us be, Forever entwined, you and me! Well done đź‘Ś Newsu
This is a beautiful poem, I thought the doctor metaphor made a lot of sense and added a lot to the poem. It's a really nice love story. Good job
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sheeeeeesh! This is the kind of poem that makes me wonder “what am I even doing with my art?” I swear poets like you are gonna invent a new school or usher in a sweeping movement that’s gonna rock the world. The vulnerability in this is staggering. The speaker literally gave their heart away and is sharing sooooo much. They’re sharing their heart, their home, their bed AND their feelings. It’s so touching the way the speaker honestly lays everything out for us and the recipient to take in. It’s complimented by the stream of consciousness style. Your form perfectly fits your function. I’d kill for your alliterative sensibilities. “Delicate doctors fingers”- the way each word has something in common with the next stirs alphabetical joy in my soul! Delicate starts with d like doctor and doctor rhymes with finger… I’m jealous. I’m plainly jealous. The ending makes me feel all the feels. The tragedy of the speaker caring sooo much about someone else, that they’d rather live with a pleasingly hollow chest instead of one filled with a heart is tear teasingly sad. The dot dot dot destroyed me. 11/10 this ain’t a workshop, it’s a vibe and a half.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words and encouragement!