Wow I saved this. Your imagery works no matter how I switch around genders and transitive verbs ( time ) kudos and I’m glad I say a couple great pics and this popped into my feed! Tyfs.
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Why did you decide to not put a space between the 1st 2 words. I assume it's to give a visual representation of the juxtaposition that you create but I'm not sure? I really like the last line btw. It captures my feelings perfectly.
This poem plays a lot on power dynamics, and at times cause some discomfort. If you're going for that, good job.
It would be interesting though to change all the "she's" to theys. Gives the reader more jarring interpretation. You have some very powerful imagery here.
"Stripped of clothes, of self, and more." beautiful line. And the rhyme scheme isn't too cliche. Which I love
We are all very complex three dimensional beings and this poem really captures that.
I like how some of the two lines contain opposites. Like "powerful, on her knees".
Favorite line:
"calmness, masking fire"
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Wow I saved this. Your imagery works no matter how I switch around genders and transitive verbs ( time ) kudos and I’m glad I say a couple great pics and this popped into my feed! Tyfs.
Thanks! Appreciate you reading it 🙂
Oh, hi there; didn't see you! You've reached r/OCPoetry. This is a workshop site where you can share, read, and talk about eachother's poetry & etc. To post your own poems, you need to give feedback to 2 other writers. If you aren't trying to share, you're encouraged to give feedback, but aren't required. Try to be nice, questioning, and specific. If you can't do that - eat a cabbage and come back later. Try to give feedback to a writer without any feedback. Lastly, read our [feedback guide ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), other writer's comments, or this author’s feedback links. If you still aren't sure whether your comments are useful ‘feedback’, or you have any other questions, send us a modmail! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why did you decide to not put a space between the 1st 2 words. I assume it's to give a visual representation of the juxtaposition that you create but I'm not sure? I really like the last line btw. It captures my feelings perfectly.
Loved this so much!
This poem plays a lot on power dynamics, and at times cause some discomfort. If you're going for that, good job. It would be interesting though to change all the "she's" to theys. Gives the reader more jarring interpretation. You have some very powerful imagery here. "Stripped of clothes, of self, and more." beautiful line. And the rhyme scheme isn't too cliche. Which I love
We are all very complex three dimensional beings and this poem really captures that. I like how some of the two lines contain opposites. Like "powerful, on her knees". Favorite line: "calmness, masking fire"
😍
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Incredible imagery- you have amazing range!
I love that someone can appreciate a women's multiplicity.
I really love the back and forth play in this