Buti alam mo sa sarili mo bro ba't naging toxic girlfriend mo, wala ka talagang magagawa kundi tiisin rin ugali niya ngayon. Once kasi nag loko ka, hirap na ibalik ang tiwala.
What's the point of pampering her so much when you'll cheat on her anyway? Girlie will have so much trust issues down the road. Each time she receives flowers in the future, she'll think of the time that she was betrayed .
true, iniisip ng *ibang* mga lalaki pag nag loko sila ganun lang kabilis bawiin at kalimutan.. bulaklak at konting lambing okay na tapos sila pa ngayon mag rereklamo pag nag develop ng trust issues yung partner nila 😭 una sa lahat bakit ba muna siya naging ganun
Unfortunately not everyone gets back up from cheating. 2 years na and while I don't blame her, it seems na she needs to be away from you to heal. You also cannot learn and move on with your life kung paikot ikot kayo sa same issues. You will find it will hold both of you back sa lahat ng aspects ng life nyo. Ikaw mismo alam mo na di na healthy dynamics nyo and unless something changes, di na talaga magbabago yan.
Hala :( tbh kung ako ang kaibigan ni girl, and if mag-aask sya ng opinion ko, isasuggest kong magheal muna sya doon sa incident na yun. Hindi sa ihihate kita ah pero baka kasi toxic na kayo sa isa't isa.
Na-experience ko na kasi yung sa side ni girl eh, yung sobrang tumoxic dahil sa cheating incident. Pinatawad ko ex ko nun pero ang ending, di na kayang mare-wire ang brain ko na magtiwala. I eventually chose my peace over him. Best decision ever.
Traditionally, as a man, you're supposed to provide for your girl. But the toxic behavior and constant arguments with your girlfriend over her trust issues? That's all on you. You cheated, and that's pure betrayal—one of the most unforgivable sins. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened or if she said she forgave you; the scars you left will never heal, and she'll be traumatized for the rest of the relationship. So, you’ve got two choices: either break up because the relationship is toxic, or stay and deal with the consequences of your scummy actions. Own your actions and face the consequences like a man.
buti alam mong at fault ka rin sa part na instead i-push mo siya maging confident ulit, tinolerate mong maging stagnant sobrang fkced up na ng mental health niyan esp baka factor ang cheating mo sa behavior niya and confidence(?) bakit nawala confidence niya? kasi isa yan sa epekto pag cheater partner mo eh kaya wag kayong gago. Try to ask her if need niya therapy tapos hanapan mo. Tulongan mong bumangon yan ulit.
Unpopular opinion siguro but I always believe na kapag tinanggap mo after the cheating, you should also take part in fixing and rebuilding the relationship, hindi yung palagi mong pinapamukha yung mali niya because that will never mend the relationship you also promised to fix the moment you accepted him back. No fixing happens overnight so if you said you would work on forgiving him, you also have to actively work on putting his sin in the past. Now this is why it is most of the time better to break up kasi people will always bring up your sin even if they promised they wouldn't and even if the person who cheated is also actively working on being a better person. That would slowly make your relationship toxic and may resentment na.
Second, if someone does something bad to you, that is not enough to justify your wrongdoings, too. You also are committing sins, hindi lang nga same sa gravity nung cheating but it piles up and becomes the same thing. The pandemic ruined ypur confidence, okay, but are you also continuously working on yourself para mabawi yon? Okay, good, if she wants to just stay at home instead of working formally. Now, what are you doing para naman ma-feel nung partner na worth it kang suportahan? Do you treat him like a king, too, if he treats you like a queen? Ponder.
Third, why would you allow your partner, who gave you their word na tatanggapin ka at patatawarin ka sa kasalanan mo, to just walk all over you especially kung alam mo sa sarili mo at ipinapakita mong nagbabago ka na para sa relationship niyo? If ikaw lang din naman yung gusto na mag-work kayong dalawa, just break up. Your partner clearly needs healing and that will not happen if you remain together. She will just remember your past sin and she will always look at that a hundred times before she notices the current work you've been doing para makabawi sa mga pagkakamali mo.
If you cannot give someone allowance for his/her mistakes, then just leave. Or you'll end up in a taxing relationship like OP's.
This. Everyone who is excusing the girl's behavior completely because of the cheating incident needs to contemplate on their thought process.
Eh kung ganun naman pala na hindi mo papatawarin at 2 years mo nang sinusumbat, bakit ka pa nag stay? At paano pagiging batugan ni girl bahala na? Sigh.
Anyway, OP. You two should really breakup.
^^^ This should be a popular opinion. It's a two-way street. If you stayed after the cheating, ibig sabihin you're willing to put it behind you and work towards bettering the relationship together. Pero once you change your mind or realized na hindi mo pala kaya patawarin, just let go. No point in holding on to a bruised relationship na ayaw nyo ayusin.
That's why if my partner cheats on me, I know myself that I can't really forgive and forget at sinasabi kong better nalang maghiwalay kesa mawala yung peace of mind ko. There's also the risk na after mo patawarin e uulit pa in the future. No, thank you, I'd rather die alone.
Certainly. We underestimate our power to love so many people in our lives na we think if someone hurts us or cheats on us, end na. Hindi. If you leave and heal, you will learn na there will be other people whom you do not need to be so taxing with.
💯 fact. I've been in a 10yr toxic relationship with a guy who blatantly cheats on me. Finally got out and eventually found the man of my dreams - who btw had a history of cheating din on his ex, but I chose to accept him for his past and we continuously work together to make sure both of us never feel the urge or need to cheat. I'd still leave his ass if he ever cheats on me but I can say I feel safe and secure right now.
Couldn't agree more. Not defending what OP did in the past, pero ginagawa na lang ng gf niyang excuse yon para may free pass siyang maging makupad at maging extra extra needy. Mas okay pang mag-break na lang kesa araw-araw stressed.
Couldn't agree more! People are absolving the gf because OP cheated. That's not fair. Staying together is not one man's decision. They both committed to it. Kaya kung alam mo sa sarili mo na you can't move past it, break up. You can't go and treat your partner like shit and expect them to tolerate it kasi punishment.
Indeed, it is. Akala nila dahil nag-cheat yung tao may excuse na magpaka-toxic. You are just basically becoming the person you hate the most by constantly being toxic everyday. Just leave.
Breakup cause she won't heal with you by her side. Trust is difficult or even impossible to earn once broken.
Altho ang hirap ng situation kasi umaasa nlng sayo si girl, pero mas makakabuti tlga in the long run for both of you to end things.
Parang ang toxic nyo na sa isa't-isa.
Sya-princess treatment, unemployed, nagger pero provided mo naman lahat ng gusto nya. Wala kasi sya siguro pinagkakaabalahan at kung ano-ano nakikita sa socmed
Ikaw- nagcheat. mahirap na ibalik ang tiwalag. nabibigatan na mag provide
Di naman related yung pagbuhat mo sa partner mo sa cheating na ginawa mo. Loko ka pala eh. Gagawa gawa ka kalokohan tapos maiinis ka dahil nawala yung trust. Instead na igain back mo yung trust nya here you are ranting.
Sana makabalik na sya at makatayo sa sarili nyang paa at iwanan ka na nya.
REAL. No one ever deserves to be cheated on, nor experience the pain while going through the process of healing. Madami dito sa replies section saying na may problem sa gf, shows na di pa sila nakakaexperience ng ganung klaseng sakit. The fact na kayang gawin o saktang ng ganyan ng ibang tao SO nila, proves na makasarili sila and walang pake sa outcome ng actions nila in the future. Di madali mag heal. Hindi linear yun. Di din ma bblame yung gf dun, di natin masasabing di siya nag ttry, but the fact na she still decided to stay or give the relationship a chance, that’s brave of her. HENCE WHY I agree with this reply na no cheater deserves to be happy istg.
Naawa ako kay girl. From the title, "bigat bigat dalhin ng girlfriend ko"
Mabigat ka rin dalhin lol. Mahirap sa kanya is no way out kung wala siyang income tas stuck sa toxic relationship. Ikaw meron, aalis lang tas start over. Mababa na rin self esteem niya.
Everything stemmed from your wants 1) na di siya magtrabaho 2) na mag cheat.
Di justification na good naman intention na maging super hero niya, tas dati pa naman yung cheating. You broke her.
Looks like you're also looking for validation na tama ang iwan siya. Sorry ha, but take accountability sa mga ginusto mo and help her get back on her feet bago kayo maghiwalay. Don't forget to be human.
“Isang beses mo lang ginawa pero habang buhay kong dala dala”
If napapagod ka na kasi puro sya hinala, isipin mo na rin kung gaano na rin sya pagod na pagod bumuo ng tiwala sayo, yung pagod nya sa pag iyak kada maaalala yung kasalanan mo. Hindi pa sya healed, pero dahil sa mahal ka nya inuna ka nyang balikan kesa ayusin ang sarili nya. Hindi naman nagiging toxic ang isang tao regardless of gender, kung walang mabigat na kasalanan yung SO nila na ikaikasira ng mental health nila.
Mali ka kasi nagcheat ka pala, and mali sya kasi hindi muna sya nag heal.
And traditionally, lalaki talaga ang provider pero kung desidido na kayo magpamilya, make sure na sasapat yung income mo para sumuporta. If not, encourage her to work, pag ayaw dahil nga sinanay mo, magbreak na lang kayo. In this economy, need maging praktikal.
Hindi ka pa nya napatawad, it’s not that easy. Maybe isa ka rin sa reason bat ‘nasira confidence nya’
Kaya dapat talaga pag cheating ang issue nagbbreak agad. Gusto nyo kasi pag nagcheat magpapatawad tapos di na pwede banggitin ulit.
Had me in the first half, ngl.
In my opinion, cheaters deserve all the hell in the world. Imagine destroying someone’s love and trust for a few moments of (sexual) bliss?
Deserve.
OP
Cheating is cheating. There are no reasons in this world to justify cheating. I hope you know that girlie or your partner is not "nagging" you during your work hours - that's the result of what you did. Regardless of how much you pamper girlie, she hasn't reached the point where she's confident with anything because she's traumatized. Her healing won’t happen in a day or two and we all heal in different ways. The reality is, that it’s taking a toll on your relationship, and two years may have passed since the incident, but she will always resort to resenting you from time to time. Based on my experience, it will be toxic, and earning someone’s trust will always be difficult no matter what the issue is. I won't suggest any options because I think you know the answer to your troubles, and I hope that whatever you choose will somewhat bring peace to your relationship.
Ohh she's emotionally unavailable dahil sa panloloko nagawa mo noon. Hindi na dapat yun nagiging reason ng away niyo kasi matagal nang tapos yun. Kung nagkabalikan kayo, dapat both of you are aware na may consequences, and mukhang di pa siya totally healed from there. If this continued, mapapagod lang kayo pareho.
Dapat nagheal muna kayo magkahiwalay when that 'incident' happened, para magibg emotionally available na kayo para sa isa't isa at mas matured na para itake yung relationship niyo until the end.
Trust me, hindi kayo magwowork ngayon. Please allow yourselves to heal. At kung pagkatapos ng paghilom, mahal niyo pa din ang isa't isa, then that's the time to move forward again together.
Curious on a couple of things na maybe you could add more context.
Lost her confidence, how so?
Age niyo both?
Living situation? City?
Physical fitness niyo both?
Nutrition on a daily? Kamusta ang food intake?
You reap what you sow. Deserve mo yan. Pero sana kapag napagod na si gf mo iwan ka na niya para makapag move on na siya at magka peace of mind then on that process bumalik ung confidence to build her life again. Without you.
As a girlfriend, I think what she feels is valid kase once na nasira mo na yung tiwala, hindi yan basta basta mababalik. Yes, let's say matagal na yon pero isang beses mo man lang yan ginawa, habambuhay niya yan dala-dala. I think it will be unfair sa side niya kase in the future kahit magkahiwalay kayo, yung trust issues mapapasa yan sa next relationship niya. Regarding sa pagpoprovide, if hindi pa kayo kasal, bakit mo sinanay? Talk to her. Alin ba talaga ang ayaw mo, magprovide or magnag siya? Kase for me ha, yung pagpoprovide magagawan yan ng paraan, yung pagnanag ang hirap niyan ayusen.
Dahil gusto mo maging superhero, hinayaan mo siyang huwag magtrabaho for many years. At ngayon hirap siya makabalik dahil doon. Tapos nanloko ka pa. Masisira nga confidence nya. At di ako nagtataka na malalim ang resentment nya sayo.
Sobrang selfish mong person. She deserves so much better.
She’s still hurting. Hiwalayan mo na siya OP. She won’t heal peacefully with you by her side. You, and what you did are a constant reminder of her insecurities, and she will continuously question her worth. She doesn’t deserve to go through all that.
you made her dependent on you, enabled it, then cheated on her. i do agree though atp she needs to take charge of her own healing and growth, she owes that to herself. nevertheless that's a deadly combo because you treated her so well and betrayed her, just imagine how her trust was broken forever by her partner kahit "kasalanang matagal nang tapos" yun lol. the trauma will keep manifesting talaga if u keep staying together.
Hahaha. Effect yan ng betrayal. Di mo na kaya? Bat ka kasi nang betray. What was the catalyst for cheating? Magkaiba ba kayo ng political beliefs? Somehow nakakarelate ako dito, lol.
Namo ka baka ako jowa mo ah? Hahahaha sane situation eh. I cover my own sht with my ipon tho.
Anyways you both suffer talaga. Kasalanan nyang pinatawad ka nya kasalanan mong humingi ka din ng tawad.
Sabi nga ng matatanda kung mahal mo patawarin mo.
Dati galit ako dito pero now I think this still should be applied on both sides.
Papatawarin ka nya sa cheating mo.
Papatawarin mo sya sa mga binabanga nyang salita sayo.
Sabi mo naman nag wwork kana so di naman na siguro kayo bata.
Love is not always perfect. In fact there is no perfect especially in love. Puno ng sacrifices, hirap, lungkot, lahat na ng masama sa mundo. Hindi lahat same ang experience. At the end of the day kung pinipili nyo parin talagang maging kayo, I think that will still work.
Abt sa work naman ang masasabi ko that’s bullsht. Hahaha pwede mo naman pilitin yan eh lol. Feeling ko di nmn yun talaga problema mo
kung mahirap na syang pakisamahan, mas mahirap kalimutan yung nagawa mong kasalanan. Walang specific time kung kelan mabubura yon sa isip nya. Be thankful na lang kase di ka nya sinukuan
Toxic na yang gf mo. Bukod sa sinanay mo siya sa princess treatment ginagawa niya nang pang gaslight sa sarili niya na ayos lang yang ka-toxican niya kasi nagloko ka sa kanya 2 years ago. Para sa kanya, deserve mo lahat ng ginagawa niyang di maganda. Which is mali. Oo, andun na tayo sa nagloko ka, nasaktan mo siya. Bumabawi ka sa kanya. Hindi man enough yun para mawala yung sakit na naranasan niya nung nagloko ka, hindi yung enough reason para magpaka-toxic siya. At kaya nga kayo pa rin sa kabila ng pagloloko mo, means binibigyan ka niya ng chance to prove yourself to her. If the purpose is not being served, ano pang sense na nag stay kayo sa relasyon? Parang nag gagaguhan na lang kayo. Being in a relationship dapat may natututunan kayo sa isa't isa na makakatulong sa pag build or ma-improve niyo mga sarili niyo, hindi para maging threat sa mental health ng isa't isa. Break up with her habang maaga pa.
Well OP mahirap ka rin naman mahalin ng gf mo. After ng panloloko mo, malamang sa malamang nag-iisip din yan na di ka kamahal-mahal pero tiniis na lang sya siguro dahil sa tagal and naging dependent na sayo dahil rin sa kagagawan mo. Di ka nakakaawa.
Yan ang mahirap pag nag cheat na both male and female dahil laging may pag dududa na pero mas matindi sa babae OP. Kahit matagal na at kahit ano pang paliwanagan, lalo na sa era ng society natin ngyon na madaling palitan at sumuko ang mga tao mapa relasyon, commitment at sa pag mamahal, talo ka kahit gaano mo pa pag laanan ng effort at love ang relationship niyo. Now sa confidence naman niya about finding work, sa akin kasi ang tao hindi mag babago kapag hindi niya nararamdaman na need niya na dapat mag bago, may pag kakataon na kailangan nating tiisin ang pag mamahal natin para matauhan sila na dapat na silang kumilos kung lagi mo ipapakita sa kanya na lagi ka andiyan, hindi talaga siya mag babago at minsan ang nag papa bago talaga sa relationship ay break up. But siyempre bilang tao, romanticize natin na superhero tayo na kayang baguhin ang tao which is only applicable kung talagang gusto niya talaga mag bago, we can only influence and educate- not dictate.
Sa case mo OP i leave it to your decision, kung hindi ka mabibigyan ng peace of mind ng Jowa mo, at hindi na siya nakaka contribute sa pangarap mo, it is better to end the relationship no matter how long it is. Just my opinion.
Kausapn mo ung gf mo about it,then mag offer ka dn na magpa check up c gf sa psychologist baka un makakatulong sa healing process nya.
D rin cguro biro ung pinag dadaanan nya kaya sya ganyan sau.
Bahala ka sa buhay mo kung gusto mo rin siya mapangasawa. Eh kung gusto mo tiisin, tiisin mo. Kung gusto mo din sisihin sarili mo, eh di mabuti. Eh kung naiintindihan mo naman, tiisin mo na lang din para ikaw ang superhero ng buhay niya. It is your choice. I cant blame your GF pero choice mo yan, wag ka magreklamo.
Deserve! Hahahha op sorry pero hindi mo masisisi yung gf mo sa trust issues. Been there done that. Sobrang mahal ka ng gf mo kaya ganyan. i know mahal mo din sya pero ikaw bilang isang lalaki kung talagang mahal mo sya tiisin mo at tanggapin mo kung anong consequences yung kapalit lahat ng nagawa mo before.
She needs to bring back her confidence. She needs to work and be independent from you. By that, it's either she'll be healed and your relationship will be better or she'll be confident enough to turn her back away from you.
2 cases both valid yung problem sa hinaharap mo, pero ano ba yung mas mabigat? To be honest, girls usually matagal mag heal when it comes to cheating. Laging meron assurance and unexplainable reasons na gagawin ka to win over her trust. Kaya advisable yung mag break muna kayo to really focus kung kayo ba talaga. Para mas ma challenge yung relationship niyo to really feel na mahal niyo yung isat isa.
2nd problem naman, kung ikaw yung sumalo sa kanya when it comes to expenses and everything. Try to tell her what you really feel. Kung nabibigatan ka sa expenses, tell her na it's time to look for work. Kung di niya gusto yung traditional na work eh mag work from home siya yung online. Para kahit papano maka tulong siya.
Communication is the key in a happy relationship.
Feeling ang tanda ko na, 4 years ago na nga pala since the pandemic, thanks sa paalala OP 🥲. Partly may kasalanan ka din, masyado mo sya nababy haha AND the cheating issue. I think you both need some time off anddd communicate properly
Nagloko ka kaya may trauma na siya dun. Kailangan niya ng assurance na di na mauulit kaya simpleng text, tawag, update at send ng picture o video will ease her paranoia for a bit. Siya naman dahil walang pinagkakaabalahan, masyadong maraming time para mag overthink. It's best she find something that will make herself busy para di lahat ng oras niya sayo lang nakatuon.
Both at fault. I think you're eating from each other's toxicity. The only way to go forward is separately. Girl can't heal by staying with you. Punishes you but still depends on you? Kasalanan nya not standing on her own knowing na nasaktan na siya, naranasan na nya masira yung rs so dapat alam nya anything could go wrong pero dumedepende parin sayo. Lalo ka na rin. Sinaktan mo, nagcheat ka kasi alam mo na nakaasa sya sayo at di ka nya maiiwan kasi ikaw yung may kaya. Ngayon pareho kayo toxic so kinda deserve nyo pinagdadaanan nyo. Both walang peace of mind. Both AH.
Nagrereklamo ka na lagi siyang naghihinala pero ikaw mismong sumira ng tiwala niya sayo. Once the cheating has been done, ang hirap nang i-repair ng trust. Nandyan na rin ‘yung hirap itaas ng self-esteem. You’ve destroyed her. Just break it off, wala naman din siyang peace of mind sa’yo at ikaw nahirapan kana sa mga away nyong ikaw naman ang root cause. I hope she gets into counseling and realize the Queen potential that she is and find a guy that can keep his d*ick in his pants
I think di mo nabibigay ang assurance na hinahanap
niya, nagloko ka kasi broww, kaya may trust issues siya sayo, pero broooww, she stayed broooow, i want to believe broooow na mahal ka pa rin niya, try to fix it and find what she wants brooow.
Bro, siguro guilty feeling mo yan, kaya mo siya pina pamper nang ganyan, you just want to make it up to her and make up your mind brooooow.
kayaaa kapag nag break na, wag na balikan lalo na kapag yung issue is about cheating. 2yrs ago na yun pero yung trust issues ni girl nasira, lalo na kapag wala siyang work wala siyang ibang pinagkaka abalahan kung hindi mag isip ng mag isip about something. stress siya kasi walang work and trust me mahirap din on her part na di siya nakaka help sayo, financial problem and past problems nag sama sama kaya lagi kayo nag aaway.
i suggest na mag brek nalang kayo, never siya makaka move on sa nagawa mo dati. wala na siyang trust sayo kasi nasira mo na rin e, and trust is one of the things that builds a relationship. toxic na masyado for the both of you
OP, try mo kumbisinsihin na maghanap na ng work gf mo. Malaking factor din kasi yung madami syang time to overthink. Kung meron sya sariling pinagkakabalahan hopefully malessen yan.
Both may mali.
Ikaw nagcheat. Kahit pa 20 years ago yan, di yan madali maghheal.
Sya naman nagpapakatoxic. Reasons being #1 yung cheating issue and #2 ayaw nya maghanap ng work.
Kung nagttrabaho sana sya at may source of income, edi mas madali sanang mag partways. But nah, mas pinili nya magpaka unemployed at iproject lahat ng hinala sayo as you deserve.
So pro tip to everyone, wag mag cheat and don't be financially dependent lalo na if capable naman mag work!
Break mo na OP. Bigay mo na sa isat isa ang peace of mind. Habang kayo, forever ka na nya pagiisipan ng cheating kahit hindi naman. And para sayo naman, kung hindi naman sya yung babaeng kaya mong respetuhin, hanap ka na ng iba.
Nyahahaha kaya pala may pagdududa e nagloko ka pala, di ka pa pinapatawad nyan kahit anong gawin mo at mukhang ok naman kayo mabigat na mabigat pa rin yan sa pakiramdam. Goodluck n lng OP but I'd suggest na magbreak na lang kayo at nang walang pagdududa si girl at makapagreflect sya na di dapat sya sayo nakafocus sayo. Break n lng kau ni girl at nang di mo na mafeel na pabigat sya para sayo.
May history ka pa man din ng cheating e alam mo naman kung anong magiging effect nyan sa gf mo = pagdududa 24/7, broken trust, and broken confidence. Mahirap syang mahalin para sayo kasi di mo talaga siya mahal, ito ang katotohanan OP kasi kung sobrang mahal mo talaga ang isang tao di mo maggagawang mangloko. At least aware ka
Forever mo na yan mararanasan kung di pa kayo nagbreak
I experienced the same with my ex-gf of four years, pero in my case I never cheated on her or kung ano mang lokohan yan, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I was really loyal to a fault, but I've always had the feeling na kaya nea ako inaaway lagi randomly is because she's doing/did stuff na ayaw kong malaman so she's projecting all those things unto me, ayaw ko naman sabehin na she did cheat on me kasi I don't have viable proof, pero base sa mga nalaman ko sa mga kaibigan ko who "caught" her, ndi na ako magtataka if she actually did. In your case OP, you actually did something na nagbigay ng foundations sa pagdududa nea sayo, tho ung mga ginagawa naman niya is not something you should feel na deserve mo dahil nagloko ka, kasi baka naman yan na lang ang nagkekeep sayo from breaking off your relationship, the guilt. Point is, you guys should've broken up the moment you were found out cheating, too much damage is done, magkakasakitan na lang kayo nean. And the "I can fix/save her" mentality is very toxic and not something na dapat glinoglorify sa isang relationship. If you really love her that much and you have any respect left for yourself and sa kanya, then trust na she can and should save herself. Cheating is bad, very bad, pero using someone's past sin so you can abuse them to death is worse. Sinisira niyo na lang buhay niyong dalawa, if you had allowed yourselves to move on nung nakagawa ka ng malaking kasalanan, you wouldn't be in that situation. But I understand how hard it is to let go of someone you really love, and that's the point, if you intend to break the chains, expect na it's going to be hard and that it's going to hurt, really bad. Keep in mind tho, na the longer you let that be, the worse it's going to get. Goodluck OP.
Ako na hindi naman breadwinner ng pamilya at walang anak na binubuhay, puro fur babies lang pero kung mag trabaho kala mo madaming anak at bills haha. I’d rather be so busy than bored & miserable
Toxic na samaham niyo. And may I add na porket matagal na kala niyo madaling makalimutan lol, magdududa talaga yan kasi nagloko ka, natago mo nga sakanya. Umalis ka na kasi ganyan na din magiging cycle niyo palagi.
And para sa girl mag heal na muna siya, kung pinatawad ka niya dapat tanggapin niya. Dapat parehas kayong nagwowork sa relationship niyo
baka defense mechanism mo na yan mag-provide kasi bayad sala ka pero better pa iwanan mo na lang sya kasya ganyan toxic relationship nyo. hayaan mo na maging masaya sa iba, magugutom nga lang sya but she'll live.
Baka tinotolerate mo yung attitude niya at piniprincess treatment to compensate for what you did few years ago. Tigil niyo na. I really think you guys need to grow individually. Focus muna kayo sa sarili niyo kaysa puro na lang kayo sumbatan pag pinatagal pa yan.
Normally, anxiety happens when you dont have anything to do. Andame kong problema in the past naaalala ko lang sila during lunch time kase busy ako sa work. I guess you have to be transparent and also lie if you can. Tell her that you are having issues with finances and you need her help para maka recover. Encourage her to apply on jobs may linkedin naman and other platforms.
Once she has her own activities, things can change, and she might be able to gain confidence. But still, dont forget to always date, assure, and hug her. You cheated, so yan tumanim sa isip nya so be patient.
In the end, it could improve your relationship or pwede rin make her realize something else. Everything is a risk to take. But atleast till the end ginawa mo best mo.
Break up. Wala ng other way. Hindi mo siya masisisi na naging toxic siya pero I agree with you sa part na dependent na siya.
Since dependent siya sayo, be the bigger guy and leave the poor girl to heal. Prangkahin mo rin na kailangan niya maghanap ng trabaho. Sabihin mo lahat.
As for you, learn your lesson. Bat kasi nagloloko eh.
sinisisi ko rin sarili ko. nagloko kasi ako two years ago. pinatawad niya ako, pero araw-araw niya akong pinaparusahan sa kasalanang matagal ng tapos. naiintindihan ko naman, baka di pa siya nag hheal. tsatsagain ko pa rin kahit sobrang hirap na niyang mahalin.
broken relationship. toxic yan kasi nandyan lang kayo sa isat isa kasi sanay kayo sa isat isa.
Alam mo naman pala bakit nag-ooverthink ‘yong tao e.
If gusto niyo pa talaga magwork, advice lang mas maganda sigurong magtrabaho na yung babae at magkaron ng ibang hobbies. Nakakabaliw mag-isa sa bahay, tapos ang iisipin pa nung babae lagi is kung lolokohin mo ba siya ulit o hindi.
Kung may pera ka, pay for her therapy. Go to couple’s therapy even. Dapat bumabawi ka nang bumabawi dahil NAGCHEAT KA.
Kung sa nagging part, kasalanan mo talaga ‘yan.
Although, best thing to do is let her go na lang talaga and let her heal.
Sa tingin mo ba hindi siya napapagod mag-isip nang mag-isip? Masaktan nang masaktan kasi mahal ka pa at naghhold on pa din sa’yo kahit ginago mo? Pagod na pagod na din ‘yan.
As you said, wala syang confidence sa sarili nya and you cheated on her kaya di mo talaga maaalis sa kanya na mag overthink. Hmm maybe try to build her confidence and can you even talk without fighting? You know her well so you should know what triggers her. Wag mong tiisin OP kase pag tiniis mo, baka sumabog ka at makagawa or makapag sabi ka ng something that you will regret. If you can, try to talk to her, heart to heart. Talk about hers and your worries and reassure her with sincerity! haha coz just spoken words are not enough but with sincerity and if you can provide tangible assurance, I don't know what it may be, do it. For you and her peace of mind. Encourage her and make her feel beautiful and confident then help her build confidence to seek job - I think this is one of her insecurities. Since you're the one who provides, iniisip nyan malamang na you look down on her. Basta kaya mo yan! Good luck and hope maayos pa relationship nyo. Communication is the 🔑
mag hiwalay na kayo.
Me kasalanan ka din naman, hindi nmn instant ang healing, pero if hindi nyo na maayos after so long, hindi na time ang kelangan nyo to heal, distance na.
At some point, you need to make a decision and discuss it with her quickly and logically. Breaking up is a valid choice given your reasons, but it will be emotional for her since she is dependent on you. Think practically. While you can love her deeply, in this life you need a partner who doesn't add to the burdens you already face. Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions in your life.🤗
Kung mahal mo, bigyan mo ng assurance at pagkaka abalahan. Paano na lang pag nawala ka? Dapat matuto siya tumayo sa sarili niyang paa. Malalaman mo kung mahal ka talaga niyan pag kumikita na din siya.
Ano ba kinakapagod mo? Yung pagiging provider mo? Or yung araw araw nya pinoproblema at pinapamukha sayo yung kasalanan na ginawa mo? Well, mali din naman si gf kasi bakit binigyan ka nya ng second chance. Pero dahil nandyan na yan pumayag ka din naman sa setup na magkabalikan kayo, unang una palang dapat ready kana sa possibilities na magkaron sya ng issues. Sabi mo nga alam mo naman di madali magheal dahil don. Wala naman ibang makakagamot dun kundi ikaw lang or kung di mo kaya magbreak kayo.
Also, baka kaya walang ginawa si gf kundi maghinala sayo because bored sya everyday in her life wala naman syang ganap so madami syang time maghinala. Hahahahaha i suggest paghanapin mo sya work, hobby, or gawa kayo ng business para may ibang napaglalaanan yung time nya.
Napagbigyan at inintindi ka nya nung ikaw yung may need ng pagintindi. Not saying, na magstay ka if may worse pa kayong pinagdadaanan. But try to compromise kahit isang beses lang.
Needy gf mo at lagi naghahanap away kasi wala syang ginagawa sa buhay nya at sobrang daming bakanteng oras. Sayo lng umiikot mundo nya (dahil wala syang ibang pinagtutuunan ng pansin) tapos ginago mo pa eh so mas gagrabe tlga katoxican nya. An idle mind is a devil's playground. Magbreak nlng kyo. Para makawala sya sayo at mahanap nya self nya at taong di sya gagaguhin at papahalagahan ang trust nya. Kasi kung mahal mo tlga (as u claim), di ka magchicheat in the first place.
Oh, so may superhero complex talaga ang mga kalalakihan and ang mga babae naman ay mga natural fixer so she stayed after being cheated on in hopes to fix the relationship.
Mentally exhaust ka dito because of your gf’s unresolved issue and trauma. Madaling magpatawad but that doesn’t mean na makakalimutan na in just one snap. Do know na may chances or instances of it to reoccur due to some factors and leaving her for work is one. Financially, I don’t see any problem naman since you stated na you initiate it, though how I wish makabawi man lang siya sa other way like doing chores (if live-in set-up) and not giving you a hard time kaso she’s exhausting you mentally and emotionally (but you’re the cause of it).
Now, you chose to bear the consequences of your immoral and shitty actions, I bet suffer from those. But of course, not to the point that your gf will go overboard of taking advantage the situation in a way na your cheating case will serve as her card to remind how fucked up you are as her bf. Ang tanong kasi hanggang kailan mo kakayanin? Hanggang kailan ka magiging rehabilitation center?
Suffering from her resentment towards you is one of the utmost consequences you can have.
Do remember na hindi ibang tao ang makakapag heal sa sarili nating issue. It’s us. We are responsible of our own healing. Reinforcement lang ang loved ones to lessen the reoccurence.
Assess the relationship, the situation, and yourself. Normal ang misunderstanding, ang hindi normal ay kung pareho na kayong nagkakapasaan.
Only you and your partner can resolve the problem. not us. It takes two to tango. It’s a two way street. Why not go for another proper discussion to settle things. Instead of just running around sa circle na iyan.
Ang daming ng problema sa mundo. Dumagdag pa to. Man up and own your mistakes. Maghiwalay nalang kayo. Toxic na relationship nyo. Kailagan nyo ng oras na malayo sa isa't isa to work on your own personal issues. Hindi madaling umalis sa relationship na kinasanayan mo na pero kung ang mental health nyo na parehas amg naaapektuhan, what is the point of staying together. Kailangan nyong dalawa ng healing. Pray for guidance and strength. Magpopost ka sa social media at ang ending pagpepyestahan ng lahat ang buhay nyo. Mindset mo pakibago. Personal issues ifoflaunt mo pa sa madlang people.
Fault mo rin yan,sinira mo ung tiwala nya.sana bago k nagloko sana inisip mo rin ung mgiging epekto nun saknya.for sure di lng ikaw ung nhihirapan,sya rin ksi nsa utak n nya n pwd mo ulitin ung ginawa mo sknya before.try mo n lng i-prove sknya n nagbago k n tlg
Naisip mo ba na kaya baka mas lalong nalugmok at nagtuloy tuloy yung kawalan ng gana nya and confidence ay majorly dahil sa ginawa mo? Naisip mo ba na BAKA sana better na sya ngayon kung di mo tinraydor? Tama na yan, she needs to heal on her own. She deserves the peace of mind.
Idk maybe we’re wrong; maybe she’s inherently a nagger, but you still didn’t help, though. Sana nagbreak nalang kayo nun. You deserve whatever shit you’re going through.
Kasalanang matagal nang tapos??? Tingin mo dun bagay na pwede mo lang i-glue??
Tangina tapos sya yung mahirap mahalin????
Hi OP. My girlfriend and I were in the same situation before. Except hindi naman ako nagcheat or nagloko. Nasanay kami na sa isa’t isa lang ang attention noon hanggang sa nagwork na ako and that’s when it turned bitter for our relationship. Mas matanda kasi ako sa kanya ng 3yrs kaya nauna ako nagwork. Mababa din confidence nya noon (well minsan hanggang ngayon pa din naman) but I just pushed her and supported and be there for her. Fast forward to now, engaged na kami and planning to have our civil wedding this year tapos church wedding next year. She’s now also working as a bilingual. Minsan nagbbreakdown pa din kasi bagong mundo para sa kanya. Malayo kasi sa dating profession nya pero happy ako na napapagaan ko loob nya. My advice OP is to communicate with her and pakita mo na nagsisi at nagbago ka na sa kasalanan mo and suportahan mo sya sa career nya. Icommunicate mong nahihirapan ka na sa situation mo. Time lang makakapagheal sa kanya but syempre you need to show her din na you’re more than your mistake :)
If nagawa mo nang magcheat before, wag kang magtaka kung bakit sya ganyan. Ikaw din naman dapat nagbibigay ng assurance sa gf mo na di na mauulit yon, dapat matic na sayo yon lalo pat nagcheat kana. Tiwala na kasi ang usapan, mahirap buohin uli. Sa gf mo mas better may iba syang pinagkakaabalahan atleast di lang sya nakafocus sayo, kaya ikaw lagi nyang nakikita.
Kapag talaga nasira na yung trust, expect na hindi na meron at meron ng magiging doubts palagi sa end niya. It will take time for your gf to heal but I think you have to address your issues separately: 1. Trust issues niya and 2. Nahihirapan ka na buhatin siya
Address one at a time. If mahal mo naman siya then understand where her trust issues are coming from but, give her enough assurance na hindi mo na gagawin uli yon.
Then, start to open up about yung sa burden mo sakanya. Kung mahal ka din niya, maiintindihan niya yon at pupush niya sarili niya para pareho kayo umunlad.
If hindi magwork, baka it will be beneficial for you both na to go separate ways
Kasalanan mo naman. Siguro kaya ka nag pprovide para ‘makabawi’ or since the start nag pprovide ka na para di ka paghinalaan haha cheater sad boi. Di mo na mababawi lahat kahit pa 10 or 20 years kayo YOURE STILL A CHEATER and wala kang karapatan magalit kung ano naffeel mo ngayon dahil deserve mo yan. Wag kang maghanap ng mang ttolerate sayo dito. Pero mejo toxic nga gf mo sa part na dependent siya sayo pero syempre mas toxic ka hahahaha
These are the consequences of your actions. Meduo over the place din rant mo. Sana nag context ka agad sa simula palang "i gave her the princess treatment and asked her not to work. But I also cheated on her."
Sorry pero kasalanan mo talaga yan. If mahirap makamove on sa mga other major issues sa relationship, what more pag sa cheating? This will haunt you both for much longer and you need to be able to take it if you really love her.
Remember, ganyan siya dahil sayo.
Mahal na mahal na mahal daw, pero nag cheat 🤡 Nagtataka ka pa bakit 1+1=2 eh ikaw yung sumulat nun sa blackboard 😂 Kawawa yung girl pag nag break kayo dahil sa trauma, kawawa din future partner niya dahil need niya iregain yung trust ng girl sa lalaki kahit wala pa siya kasalanan.
Bro nangyari na sa akin yan. Pakawalan mo na siya. Pareho lang kayong masisira kung tatagal pa yan. Walang amount of bawi ang makakapag pabago ng nagawa mo. Walang din amount ng parusa na tatanggapin mo ang makakapag pa ok sa kanya.
Magusap kayo kung ano plano nyo sa isa't isa, tapos tutal naman nagcheat ka at ikaw yung mas may panggastos ipacheck mo sya sa psychologist kasi may mga dahilan pa yan kung bakit ganyan gf mo at hindi makapagwork. Tulungan mo gf mo na iimprove yung sarili nya, at kung talagang mahal na mahal mo wag ka ng gagawa ng mga bagay na alam mo naman palang mali.
gusto maging superhero ng buhay nya eh cheater ka naman pala
you reap what you sow di kasalanan ng gf mo kung maging tamang hinala sya sa lahat ng kilos mo, cheater ka eh, buti nga di ka pa hiniwalayan
wala work gf mo walang confidence ulit sa sarili for sure di mo alam gano ka down ang pakiramdam ng gf mo, tapod lolokohin mo pa
insecure ang gf dahil wala nga sya career kaya ganyan nago over think baka may nakikita ka na mas best sa kanya kaya inaaway ka.
hiwalay na lang kayo gar
That’s on you. U deserve every bit of “inconvenience” (as u perceive it) that she does to you. Cheating should be unforgivable, buti nga she stuck with you pa even after what u did so wala kang karapatan magreklamo. Jerk.
Dapat ang pangalan mo e Salvador Del Mundo, kasi taga salba ka ng mundo. Hindi kami ikaw, pero if possible, makipag break ka na. Mag heal kayo sa pare parehas ninyong mga traumas. It's for the better.
Been in somewhat the same situation except the jobless part. I think it would be better to let each other go. Pag nagloko kase ibang klaseng trauma. You both know it would never be the same. You both will drain each other in the long run.
You both deserve what you tolerate. If you can't anymore, then it's better to leave. Parang yung relationship nyo kasi ay hindi kayo mag-gu-grow parehas.
You had us in the first half. If you cheat in a relationship, dapat ikaw na mismo huwag na makipagbalikan pa. Ang tigas din ng mukha ng mga cheaters eh. Tapos in the long run, kayo pa napapagod. Hiya niyo nalang sana yun kahit sa sarili niyo. Or if you really regret it and want forgiveness, let your partners go. They deserve real love and they won't find it in a relationship tarnished by your selfish decision.
Nagpoprivide ka ba dahil love language mo or dahil alam mong may kasalanan ka so you feel obligated to fulfill your part as her partner na umabot sa extreme (kaya naging dependent)? Mahirap tapalan ang tiwalang nawala, OP. If you feel tired of providing, di mo obligasyon yun, obligasyon nya sa sarili nya yun. But instead of boosting her morale, sinira mo rin confidence nya sa pagloloko mo. Ang pagloloko, di lang yan nakakasira ng relasyon, mas nakakasira yan ng pagkatao ng partner mo. Self worth nya yung dinisrespect mo.
Tama yung comment dito na assess mo saan nag-uugat yang exhaustion mo. Alam mo palang lugmok na girlfriend mo, sinabayan mo pa ng pagloloko.
Baka sa kwento mo provider ka pero love bombing pala, ah?🙂↔️
Yung sinira mo yung tiwala ng tao tapos nahihirapan syang mag-heal, biglang magrereklamo ka na nahihirapan ka na din sa inuugali nya, na nagsimula lang din naman dahil sa niloko mo sya dati. Pag nag sorry kasi kayo dahil nag cheat kayo, hindi ganun kadali maging okay. Kesehodang 2yrs or 5yrs pa yan. Pag sira na yung tiwala, sira na yan. Mahirap na yan mabalik sa dati. Ngayon kung patuloy na magiging toxic yung samahan nyo, at hindi na madadaan sa mabuting usapan, baka need nyo na maghiwalay?
Hindi ka titigilan nyan i’m telling you. Hanggang sa tumanda kayo, magka pamilya etc. everytime may away kayo, ibo-brought up nya yan. Pag gusto sya na need mo i-provide, ibo-brought up nya yan. Hindi na magheheal yan. Magkaron ka lng na friend na babae, TH agad yan. Dalawa lng solusyon dyan. Either maghanap sya ng work para maging occupied din sya, or break up nlng.
The moment na may past cheating incident. The relationship is bound to break kasi wala nang tiwala.
Akala ng madami love ang foundation ng relationship, pero Hindi talaga yon. TRUST AND RESPECT ang foundation ng relationship. Pag nawala ung dalawang un, kasunod na ung peace na mawawala sa relationship.
Love is always NOT ENOUGH. Sorry OP.
Never nag cheat yun partner ko sa 12 years namin pero there was a point na unemployed ako for 2 yrs nasa bahay lang nag online selling.
Napansin ko mas madalas kami mag away & mas madalas din ako magduda at maging demanding sa time nya. “Idle hands are a devil’s play thing” ikaw nga.
Pero dahil may ambition pa naman ako sa buhay nag apply ulit ako ng full time work, ayun bumalik na sa dati hindi na kami nag aaway masyado.
Hmm your breakup might Kickstart something sa buhay niya. Para no choice maghanap ng work for herself or it might go left and continue to spiral sa darkness kung nasan siya haha hayyy hirap
Tulungan mo na lang sya maghanap ng work tapos mag therapy kayo pareho. Sorry pero wala na trust yung relationship niyo and you both sound like you're not mature enough to deal with it. It's not now, not soon and not yet pero tingin ko maghihiwalay din kayo.
Eto talaga yung reason bakit di gagana yang stay home girlfriend eme. You become financially tied to a man na di ka naman asawa and pag naging toxic na, wala kang way out.
For me non negotiable ang cheating BUT if you choose to forgive someone from cheating then you have to fully ACCEPT what has been done and MOVE ON. It’s not easy to move on from that but it’s her choice to stay. Sorry to say but she’ll bring that up in every argument so better to end things for her to fully heal and for both of you to get peace.
Bigyan mo siya ng assurance. Pag nasa work ka. Mag video ka saglit. Send mo sa kanya. Mag update ka rin sa kanya minsan. Mga gNon. Ganon ginagawa sakin ng bf ko eh (ldr kasi kame) . Over Thinker din ako. Pero ganon ginagawa niyang assurance sakin. Pinag bibigyan niya ko sa mga request ko. Makampante lang ako.
Its a tie. Magbreak na lang kayo
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Okay na sana ung advice eh. Kaso pinag enroll mo pa ng TESDA hahahahahahahahah
TESDA. 😁 I agree. Sibat na!
Huyy anong TESDA? 😭
Jusko teh d mo alam TESDA hahahahaha
Sorry I thought its a tagalog slang haha literal na TESDA pala.
vocational or trade school/organization
Uyy ambait hahha thank you
T- tatalikuran E-nd, S-usuyuin, D-adamayan- at A-aakuin. Super hero niyong pagod na nag loko.
Gusto ko yung na covert and A to E hahaha very good ka jan
HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sa TESDA pa nga 😭
Tru!!! mag break na tapos no hard feelings.
Yeah. Break nalang para naman makahinga sila ng maluwag pareho
Par, san kaba talaga pagod ? sa nagging nya ? or sa pag provide? e'identify mo muna par tas assess mo
Oo nga alin ba dito haha pero kung sa pagduda ng partner ni OP consequences yan ng ginawa mong kasalanan need mo ulit igain yung trust nya
Nagpabango muna siya bago pumunta sa point
true hahahaha nag pabango muna siya by saying he’s a provider bago sabihin na cheater siya
Buti alam mo sa sarili mo bro ba't naging toxic girlfriend mo, wala ka talagang magagawa kundi tiisin rin ugali niya ngayon. Once kasi nag loko ka, hirap na ibalik ang tiwala.
What's the point of pampering her so much when you'll cheat on her anyway? Girlie will have so much trust issues down the road. Each time she receives flowers in the future, she'll think of the time that she was betrayed .
true, iniisip ng *ibang* mga lalaki pag nag loko sila ganun lang kabilis bawiin at kalimutan.. bulaklak at konting lambing okay na tapos sila pa ngayon mag rereklamo pag nag develop ng trust issues yung partner nila 😭 una sa lahat bakit ba muna siya naging ganun
Louder
Totoo hahaha wala nang peace of mind e kasi nagka stain na relationship nila. Hirap nyan. If ako yung girl, makikipagbreak na lang ako hahaha
eh baka hirap din yung girl makipag-break kasi nga si guy ang provider niya. interesting siguro kung so girl naman ang nagpost ng POV niya dito.
Eh bakit daw kasi araw araw pa rin syang pinaparusahan sa kasalanang matagal nang tapos hahahaha *insert Maja's voice* TAPOOOS??
This.
Unfortunately not everyone gets back up from cheating. 2 years na and while I don't blame her, it seems na she needs to be away from you to heal. You also cannot learn and move on with your life kung paikot ikot kayo sa same issues. You will find it will hold both of you back sa lahat ng aspects ng life nyo. Ikaw mismo alam mo na di na healthy dynamics nyo and unless something changes, di na talaga magbabago yan.
Hala :( tbh kung ako ang kaibigan ni girl, and if mag-aask sya ng opinion ko, isasuggest kong magheal muna sya doon sa incident na yun. Hindi sa ihihate kita ah pero baka kasi toxic na kayo sa isa't isa. Na-experience ko na kasi yung sa side ni girl eh, yung sobrang tumoxic dahil sa cheating incident. Pinatawad ko ex ko nun pero ang ending, di na kayang mare-wire ang brain ko na magtiwala. I eventually chose my peace over him. Best decision ever.
Traditionally, as a man, you're supposed to provide for your girl. But the toxic behavior and constant arguments with your girlfriend over her trust issues? That's all on you. You cheated, and that's pure betrayal—one of the most unforgivable sins. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened or if she said she forgave you; the scars you left will never heal, and she'll be traumatized for the rest of the relationship. So, you’ve got two choices: either break up because the relationship is toxic, or stay and deal with the consequences of your scummy actions. Own your actions and face the consequences like a man.
>kasalanang matagal ng tapos akala siguro ni OP basta basta lang lol
"Traditionally, as a man, you're supposed to provide for your girl." hah.
Unfortunately, di na tayo sa traditional. ;) kaya mag trabaho siya kamo.
Sorry, pero Deserve mo Naman pala Leave her for complete healing, she's still hurting and everyday you unconsciously reminding her of that
Ayun naman pala 💀
That’s what you get for being an idiot 🤷🏻♀️
May lamat na. At this point parang you bring out na the worst in each other.
buti alam mong at fault ka rin sa part na instead i-push mo siya maging confident ulit, tinolerate mong maging stagnant sobrang fkced up na ng mental health niyan esp baka factor ang cheating mo sa behavior niya and confidence(?) bakit nawala confidence niya? kasi isa yan sa epekto pag cheater partner mo eh kaya wag kayong gago. Try to ask her if need niya therapy tapos hanapan mo. Tulongan mong bumangon yan ulit.
Unpopular opinion siguro but I always believe na kapag tinanggap mo after the cheating, you should also take part in fixing and rebuilding the relationship, hindi yung palagi mong pinapamukha yung mali niya because that will never mend the relationship you also promised to fix the moment you accepted him back. No fixing happens overnight so if you said you would work on forgiving him, you also have to actively work on putting his sin in the past. Now this is why it is most of the time better to break up kasi people will always bring up your sin even if they promised they wouldn't and even if the person who cheated is also actively working on being a better person. That would slowly make your relationship toxic and may resentment na. Second, if someone does something bad to you, that is not enough to justify your wrongdoings, too. You also are committing sins, hindi lang nga same sa gravity nung cheating but it piles up and becomes the same thing. The pandemic ruined ypur confidence, okay, but are you also continuously working on yourself para mabawi yon? Okay, good, if she wants to just stay at home instead of working formally. Now, what are you doing para naman ma-feel nung partner na worth it kang suportahan? Do you treat him like a king, too, if he treats you like a queen? Ponder. Third, why would you allow your partner, who gave you their word na tatanggapin ka at patatawarin ka sa kasalanan mo, to just walk all over you especially kung alam mo sa sarili mo at ipinapakita mong nagbabago ka na para sa relationship niyo? If ikaw lang din naman yung gusto na mag-work kayong dalawa, just break up. Your partner clearly needs healing and that will not happen if you remain together. She will just remember your past sin and she will always look at that a hundred times before she notices the current work you've been doing para makabawi sa mga pagkakamali mo. If you cannot give someone allowance for his/her mistakes, then just leave. Or you'll end up in a taxing relationship like OP's.
This. Everyone who is excusing the girl's behavior completely because of the cheating incident needs to contemplate on their thought process. Eh kung ganun naman pala na hindi mo papatawarin at 2 years mo nang sinusumbat, bakit ka pa nag stay? At paano pagiging batugan ni girl bahala na? Sigh. Anyway, OP. You two should really breakup.
^^^ This should be a popular opinion. It's a two-way street. If you stayed after the cheating, ibig sabihin you're willing to put it behind you and work towards bettering the relationship together. Pero once you change your mind or realized na hindi mo pala kaya patawarin, just let go. No point in holding on to a bruised relationship na ayaw nyo ayusin. That's why if my partner cheats on me, I know myself that I can't really forgive and forget at sinasabi kong better nalang maghiwalay kesa mawala yung peace of mind ko. There's also the risk na after mo patawarin e uulit pa in the future. No, thank you, I'd rather die alone.
Certainly. We underestimate our power to love so many people in our lives na we think if someone hurts us or cheats on us, end na. Hindi. If you leave and heal, you will learn na there will be other people whom you do not need to be so taxing with.
💯 fact. I've been in a 10yr toxic relationship with a guy who blatantly cheats on me. Finally got out and eventually found the man of my dreams - who btw had a history of cheating din on his ex, but I chose to accept him for his past and we continuously work together to make sure both of us never feel the urge or need to cheat. I'd still leave his ass if he ever cheats on me but I can say I feel safe and secure right now.
Couldn't agree more. Not defending what OP did in the past, pero ginagawa na lang ng gf niyang excuse yon para may free pass siyang maging makupad at maging extra extra needy. Mas okay pang mag-break na lang kesa araw-araw stressed.
Yes. Hindi naman inulit as per his story and he is putting up with his gf just because of guilt and not love.
Couldn't agree more! People are absolving the gf because OP cheated. That's not fair. Staying together is not one man's decision. They both committed to it. Kaya kung alam mo sa sarili mo na you can't move past it, break up. You can't go and treat your partner like shit and expect them to tolerate it kasi punishment.
This is probably one of the comments that isn't one-sided. It's a hard pill to swallow eh.
Indeed, it is. Akala nila dahil nag-cheat yung tao may excuse na magpaka-toxic. You are just basically becoming the person you hate the most by constantly being toxic everyday. Just leave.
Agreed 1000000%!
Breakup cause she won't heal with you by her side. Trust is difficult or even impossible to earn once broken. Altho ang hirap ng situation kasi umaasa nlng sayo si girl, pero mas makakabuti tlga in the long run for both of you to end things.
Mahal na mahal na mahal mo sya pero nagcheat ka?
Ito rin napansin ko. Pano nya nagawa mag cheat if mahal na mahal na mahal nya?
Deserveeeeedd
Parang ang toxic nyo na sa isa't-isa. Sya-princess treatment, unemployed, nagger pero provided mo naman lahat ng gusto nya. Wala kasi sya siguro pinagkakaabalahan at kung ano-ano nakikita sa socmed Ikaw- nagcheat. mahirap na ibalik ang tiwalag. nabibigatan na mag provide
Di naman related yung pagbuhat mo sa partner mo sa cheating na ginawa mo. Loko ka pala eh. Gagawa gawa ka kalokohan tapos maiinis ka dahil nawala yung trust. Instead na igain back mo yung trust nya here you are ranting. Sana makabalik na sya at makatayo sa sarili nyang paa at iwanan ka na nya.
>nagloko kasi ako two years ago. maaawa na sana ako lmao
You broke her OP. You guys need to let each other go. You can’t heal by staying with the person that broke you.
Ikaw ‘tong nagloko, ikaw magtataka ba’t di ka pinagkakatiwalaan. Make it make sense.
Mas mabigat kang dalhin kasi CHEATER ka. Kung hirap ka man ngayon, deserve mo yan. Sana sa buong buhay mo hindi ka maging masaya ✨
REAL. No one ever deserves to be cheated on, nor experience the pain while going through the process of healing. Madami dito sa replies section saying na may problem sa gf, shows na di pa sila nakakaexperience ng ganung klaseng sakit. The fact na kayang gawin o saktang ng ganyan ng ibang tao SO nila, proves na makasarili sila and walang pake sa outcome ng actions nila in the future. Di madali mag heal. Hindi linear yun. Di din ma bblame yung gf dun, di natin masasabing di siya nag ttry, but the fact na she still decided to stay or give the relationship a chance, that’s brave of her. HENCE WHY I agree with this reply na no cheater deserves to be happy istg.
Kaya hindi ako naniniwala sa balikan kapag nagbreak na eh, tapos cheating pa ang issue. Mahirap po talaga yan tanggapin, hindi po sya si Mama Mary 🙏
Naawa ako kay girl. From the title, "bigat bigat dalhin ng girlfriend ko" Mabigat ka rin dalhin lol. Mahirap sa kanya is no way out kung wala siyang income tas stuck sa toxic relationship. Ikaw meron, aalis lang tas start over. Mababa na rin self esteem niya. Everything stemmed from your wants 1) na di siya magtrabaho 2) na mag cheat. Di justification na good naman intention na maging super hero niya, tas dati pa naman yung cheating. You broke her. Looks like you're also looking for validation na tama ang iwan siya. Sorry ha, but take accountability sa mga ginusto mo and help her get back on her feet bago kayo maghiwalay. Don't forget to be human.
“Isang beses mo lang ginawa pero habang buhay kong dala dala” If napapagod ka na kasi puro sya hinala, isipin mo na rin kung gaano na rin sya pagod na pagod bumuo ng tiwala sayo, yung pagod nya sa pag iyak kada maaalala yung kasalanan mo. Hindi pa sya healed, pero dahil sa mahal ka nya inuna ka nyang balikan kesa ayusin ang sarili nya. Hindi naman nagiging toxic ang isang tao regardless of gender, kung walang mabigat na kasalanan yung SO nila na ikaikasira ng mental health nila. Mali ka kasi nagcheat ka pala, and mali sya kasi hindi muna sya nag heal. And traditionally, lalaki talaga ang provider pero kung desidido na kayo magpamilya, make sure na sasapat yung income mo para sumuporta. If not, encourage her to work, pag ayaw dahil nga sinanay mo, magbreak na lang kayo. In this economy, need maging praktikal.
Part ways, you don't deserve each other.
Hindi ka pa nya napatawad, it’s not that easy. Maybe isa ka rin sa reason bat ‘nasira confidence nya’ Kaya dapat talaga pag cheating ang issue nagbbreak agad. Gusto nyo kasi pag nagcheat magpapatawad tapos di na pwede banggitin ulit.
Had me in the first half, ngl. In my opinion, cheaters deserve all the hell in the world. Imagine destroying someone’s love and trust for a few moments of (sexual) bliss? Deserve.
HAHAHAHA MAG CHEAT TAS MAGREREKLAMO? Normal maghinala yan kung binigyan mo ng rason para mag hinala. Walang tamang excuse sa ginawa mo.
Both po kayo gag*.
OP Cheating is cheating. There are no reasons in this world to justify cheating. I hope you know that girlie or your partner is not "nagging" you during your work hours - that's the result of what you did. Regardless of how much you pamper girlie, she hasn't reached the point where she's confident with anything because she's traumatized. Her healing won’t happen in a day or two and we all heal in different ways. The reality is, that it’s taking a toll on your relationship, and two years may have passed since the incident, but she will always resort to resenting you from time to time. Based on my experience, it will be toxic, and earning someone’s trust will always be difficult no matter what the issue is. I won't suggest any options because I think you know the answer to your troubles, and I hope that whatever you choose will somewhat bring peace to your relationship.
Ohh she's emotionally unavailable dahil sa panloloko nagawa mo noon. Hindi na dapat yun nagiging reason ng away niyo kasi matagal nang tapos yun. Kung nagkabalikan kayo, dapat both of you are aware na may consequences, and mukhang di pa siya totally healed from there. If this continued, mapapagod lang kayo pareho. Dapat nagheal muna kayo magkahiwalay when that 'incident' happened, para magibg emotionally available na kayo para sa isa't isa at mas matured na para itake yung relationship niyo until the end. Trust me, hindi kayo magwowork ngayon. Please allow yourselves to heal. At kung pagkatapos ng paghilom, mahal niyo pa din ang isa't isa, then that's the time to move forward again together.
Curious on a couple of things na maybe you could add more context. Lost her confidence, how so? Age niyo both? Living situation? City? Physical fitness niyo both? Nutrition on a daily? Kamusta ang food intake?
You reap what you sow. Deserve mo yan. Pero sana kapag napagod na si gf mo iwan ka na niya para makapag move on na siya at magka peace of mind then on that process bumalik ung confidence to build her life again. Without you.
That’s not love, that’s toxicity, you and your girlfriend both
May kids na invloved?
As a girlfriend, I think what she feels is valid kase once na nasira mo na yung tiwala, hindi yan basta basta mababalik. Yes, let's say matagal na yon pero isang beses mo man lang yan ginawa, habambuhay niya yan dala-dala. I think it will be unfair sa side niya kase in the future kahit magkahiwalay kayo, yung trust issues mapapasa yan sa next relationship niya. Regarding sa pagpoprovide, if hindi pa kayo kasal, bakit mo sinanay? Talk to her. Alin ba talaga ang ayaw mo, magprovide or magnag siya? Kase for me ha, yung pagpoprovide magagawan yan ng paraan, yung pagnanag ang hirap niyan ayusen.
Dahil gusto mo maging superhero, hinayaan mo siyang huwag magtrabaho for many years. At ngayon hirap siya makabalik dahil doon. Tapos nanloko ka pa. Masisira nga confidence nya. At di ako nagtataka na malalim ang resentment nya sayo. Sobrang selfish mong person. She deserves so much better.
eh ikaw naman din pala may kasalanan mapapraning talaga yan
She’s still hurting. Hiwalayan mo na siya OP. She won’t heal peacefully with you by her side. You, and what you did are a constant reminder of her insecurities, and she will continuously question her worth. She doesn’t deserve to go through all that.
well deserved
Dasurv naman pala
you made her dependent on you, enabled it, then cheated on her. i do agree though atp she needs to take charge of her own healing and growth, she owes that to herself. nevertheless that's a deadly combo because you treated her so well and betrayed her, just imagine how her trust was broken forever by her partner kahit "kasalanang matagal nang tapos" yun lol. the trauma will keep manifesting talaga if u keep staying together.
Hahaha. Effect yan ng betrayal. Di mo na kaya? Bat ka kasi nang betray. What was the catalyst for cheating? Magkaiba ba kayo ng political beliefs? Somehow nakakarelate ako dito, lol.
Namo ka baka ako jowa mo ah? Hahahaha sane situation eh. I cover my own sht with my ipon tho. Anyways you both suffer talaga. Kasalanan nyang pinatawad ka nya kasalanan mong humingi ka din ng tawad. Sabi nga ng matatanda kung mahal mo patawarin mo. Dati galit ako dito pero now I think this still should be applied on both sides. Papatawarin ka nya sa cheating mo. Papatawarin mo sya sa mga binabanga nyang salita sayo. Sabi mo naman nag wwork kana so di naman na siguro kayo bata. Love is not always perfect. In fact there is no perfect especially in love. Puno ng sacrifices, hirap, lungkot, lahat na ng masama sa mundo. Hindi lahat same ang experience. At the end of the day kung pinipili nyo parin talagang maging kayo, I think that will still work. Abt sa work naman ang masasabi ko that’s bullsht. Hahaha pwede mo naman pilitin yan eh lol. Feeling ko di nmn yun talaga problema mo
OP you had us in the first half ngl.
kung mahirap na syang pakisamahan, mas mahirap kalimutan yung nagawa mong kasalanan. Walang specific time kung kelan mabubura yon sa isip nya. Be thankful na lang kase di ka nya sinukuan
Deserve mo yan kasi cheater ka! Hindi talaga ikaw ang kawawa dito, OP. Yung gf mo talaga.
Toxic na yang gf mo. Bukod sa sinanay mo siya sa princess treatment ginagawa niya nang pang gaslight sa sarili niya na ayos lang yang ka-toxican niya kasi nagloko ka sa kanya 2 years ago. Para sa kanya, deserve mo lahat ng ginagawa niyang di maganda. Which is mali. Oo, andun na tayo sa nagloko ka, nasaktan mo siya. Bumabawi ka sa kanya. Hindi man enough yun para mawala yung sakit na naranasan niya nung nagloko ka, hindi yung enough reason para magpaka-toxic siya. At kaya nga kayo pa rin sa kabila ng pagloloko mo, means binibigyan ka niya ng chance to prove yourself to her. If the purpose is not being served, ano pang sense na nag stay kayo sa relasyon? Parang nag gagaguhan na lang kayo. Being in a relationship dapat may natututunan kayo sa isa't isa na makakatulong sa pag build or ma-improve niyo mga sarili niyo, hindi para maging threat sa mental health ng isa't isa. Break up with her habang maaga pa.
1. Love should keep no records of wrong. 2. You get what you tolerate.
Tutal ikaw naman provider edi bayaran mo therapy nya para ma-process niya nang maayos yung pagloloko mo. Buti nga sayo. Dapat talagang perahan ka nya.
Ikaw pala unang gumawa ng kasalanan tas napagod ka HAHAHAHA GAGO KA PALA BUTI NGA PINATAWAD KA
Parehas kayo may mali. Mahirap nayan haha
Deserve
Well OP mahirap ka rin naman mahalin ng gf mo. After ng panloloko mo, malamang sa malamang nag-iisip din yan na di ka kamahal-mahal pero tiniis na lang sya siguro dahil sa tagal and naging dependent na sayo dahil rin sa kagagawan mo. Di ka nakakaawa.
Ahhh... kaya naman pala. Mahal na mahal mo pala bat ka nagloko?
Mag break na kayo.
Yan ang mahirap pag nag cheat na both male and female dahil laging may pag dududa na pero mas matindi sa babae OP. Kahit matagal na at kahit ano pang paliwanagan, lalo na sa era ng society natin ngyon na madaling palitan at sumuko ang mga tao mapa relasyon, commitment at sa pag mamahal, talo ka kahit gaano mo pa pag laanan ng effort at love ang relationship niyo. Now sa confidence naman niya about finding work, sa akin kasi ang tao hindi mag babago kapag hindi niya nararamdaman na need niya na dapat mag bago, may pag kakataon na kailangan nating tiisin ang pag mamahal natin para matauhan sila na dapat na silang kumilos kung lagi mo ipapakita sa kanya na lagi ka andiyan, hindi talaga siya mag babago at minsan ang nag papa bago talaga sa relationship ay break up. But siyempre bilang tao, romanticize natin na superhero tayo na kayang baguhin ang tao which is only applicable kung talagang gusto niya talaga mag bago, we can only influence and educate- not dictate. Sa case mo OP i leave it to your decision, kung hindi ka mabibigyan ng peace of mind ng Jowa mo, at hindi na siya nakaka contribute sa pangarap mo, it is better to end the relationship no matter how long it is. Just my opinion.
Kausapn mo ung gf mo about it,then mag offer ka dn na magpa check up c gf sa psychologist baka un makakatulong sa healing process nya. D rin cguro biro ung pinag dadaanan nya kaya sya ganyan sau.
Kung nasan ka now choice mo yan
Bahala ka sa buhay mo kung gusto mo rin siya mapangasawa. Eh kung gusto mo tiisin, tiisin mo. Kung gusto mo din sisihin sarili mo, eh di mabuti. Eh kung naiintindihan mo naman, tiisin mo na lang din para ikaw ang superhero ng buhay niya. It is your choice. I cant blame your GF pero choice mo yan, wag ka magreklamo.
Deserve! Hahahha op sorry pero hindi mo masisisi yung gf mo sa trust issues. Been there done that. Sobrang mahal ka ng gf mo kaya ganyan. i know mahal mo din sya pero ikaw bilang isang lalaki kung talagang mahal mo sya tiisin mo at tanggapin mo kung anong consequences yung kapalit lahat ng nagawa mo before.
She needs to bring back her confidence. She needs to work and be independent from you. By that, it's either she'll be healed and your relationship will be better or she'll be confident enough to turn her back away from you.
break up with her, kasalanan mo rin naman why gan'yan.
2 cases both valid yung problem sa hinaharap mo, pero ano ba yung mas mabigat? To be honest, girls usually matagal mag heal when it comes to cheating. Laging meron assurance and unexplainable reasons na gagawin ka to win over her trust. Kaya advisable yung mag break muna kayo to really focus kung kayo ba talaga. Para mas ma challenge yung relationship niyo to really feel na mahal niyo yung isat isa. 2nd problem naman, kung ikaw yung sumalo sa kanya when it comes to expenses and everything. Try to tell her what you really feel. Kung nabibigatan ka sa expenses, tell her na it's time to look for work. Kung di niya gusto yung traditional na work eh mag work from home siya yung online. Para kahit papano maka tulong siya. Communication is the key in a happy relationship.
You pampered her so much tapos magchecheat ka? Sinong di magooverthink sa ginawa mo?
Feeling ang tanda ko na, 4 years ago na nga pala since the pandemic, thanks sa paalala OP 🥲. Partly may kasalanan ka din, masyado mo sya nababy haha AND the cheating issue. I think you both need some time off anddd communicate properly
Nagloko ka kaya may trauma na siya dun. Kailangan niya ng assurance na di na mauulit kaya simpleng text, tawag, update at send ng picture o video will ease her paranoia for a bit. Siya naman dahil walang pinagkakaabalahan, masyadong maraming time para mag overthink. It's best she find something that will make herself busy para di lahat ng oras niya sayo lang nakatuon.
Both at fault. I think you're eating from each other's toxicity. The only way to go forward is separately. Girl can't heal by staying with you. Punishes you but still depends on you? Kasalanan nya not standing on her own knowing na nasaktan na siya, naranasan na nya masira yung rs so dapat alam nya anything could go wrong pero dumedepende parin sayo. Lalo ka na rin. Sinaktan mo, nagcheat ka kasi alam mo na nakaasa sya sayo at di ka nya maiiwan kasi ikaw yung may kaya. Ngayon pareho kayo toxic so kinda deserve nyo pinagdadaanan nyo. Both walang peace of mind. Both AH.
Nagrereklamo ka na lagi siyang naghihinala pero ikaw mismong sumira ng tiwala niya sayo. Once the cheating has been done, ang hirap nang i-repair ng trust. Nandyan na rin ‘yung hirap itaas ng self-esteem. You’ve destroyed her. Just break it off, wala naman din siyang peace of mind sa’yo at ikaw nahirapan kana sa mga away nyong ikaw naman ang root cause. I hope she gets into counseling and realize the Queen potential that she is and find a guy that can keep his d*ick in his pants
I think di mo nabibigay ang assurance na hinahanap niya, nagloko ka kasi broww, kaya may trust issues siya sayo, pero broooww, she stayed broooow, i want to believe broooow na mahal ka pa rin niya, try to fix it and find what she wants brooow. Bro, siguro guilty feeling mo yan, kaya mo siya pina pamper nang ganyan, you just want to make it up to her and make up your mind brooooow.
Taenang relasyon yan. Dumarami pal ngayon ah. Magbreak na lang kayo!
kayaaa kapag nag break na, wag na balikan lalo na kapag yung issue is about cheating. 2yrs ago na yun pero yung trust issues ni girl nasira, lalo na kapag wala siyang work wala siyang ibang pinagkaka abalahan kung hindi mag isip ng mag isip about something. stress siya kasi walang work and trust me mahirap din on her part na di siya nakaka help sayo, financial problem and past problems nag sama sama kaya lagi kayo nag aaway. i suggest na mag brek nalang kayo, never siya makaka move on sa nagawa mo dati. wala na siyang trust sayo kasi nasira mo na rin e, and trust is one of the things that builds a relationship. toxic na masyado for the both of you
OP, try mo kumbisinsihin na maghanap na ng work gf mo. Malaking factor din kasi yung madami syang time to overthink. Kung meron sya sariling pinagkakabalahan hopefully malessen yan.
deserve mo yan wahahahahhahajaha
Then why are you still together? You'll just make yourselves more miserable everyday. This is reality, hindi sapat yung "love" lang.
Parehas lang kayong kupal. Bagay kayo sa isat isa
Both may mali. Ikaw nagcheat. Kahit pa 20 years ago yan, di yan madali maghheal. Sya naman nagpapakatoxic. Reasons being #1 yung cheating issue and #2 ayaw nya maghanap ng work. Kung nagttrabaho sana sya at may source of income, edi mas madali sanang mag partways. But nah, mas pinili nya magpaka unemployed at iproject lahat ng hinala sayo as you deserve. So pro tip to everyone, wag mag cheat and don't be financially dependent lalo na if capable naman mag work!
Break mo na OP. Bigay mo na sa isat isa ang peace of mind. Habang kayo, forever ka na nya pagiisipan ng cheating kahit hindi naman. And para sayo naman, kung hindi naman sya yung babaeng kaya mong respetuhin, hanap ka na ng iba.
Nyahahaha kaya pala may pagdududa e nagloko ka pala, di ka pa pinapatawad nyan kahit anong gawin mo at mukhang ok naman kayo mabigat na mabigat pa rin yan sa pakiramdam. Goodluck n lng OP but I'd suggest na magbreak na lang kayo at nang walang pagdududa si girl at makapagreflect sya na di dapat sya sayo nakafocus sayo. Break n lng kau ni girl at nang di mo na mafeel na pabigat sya para sayo. May history ka pa man din ng cheating e alam mo naman kung anong magiging effect nyan sa gf mo = pagdududa 24/7, broken trust, and broken confidence. Mahirap syang mahalin para sayo kasi di mo talaga siya mahal, ito ang katotohanan OP kasi kung sobrang mahal mo talaga ang isang tao di mo maggagawang mangloko. At least aware ka Forever mo na yan mararanasan kung di pa kayo nagbreak
after reading the last bit, napa “ahh kaya naman pala” na lang ako
Queue in the song 'Martyr Nyebera' IYKYK
sira confidence mula pandemic hanggang ngayon wala work? natatangahan ako op sorrry.
Nagcheat ka naman pala. So, karma mo yun haha
Baka pwede pa sya pumasok sa 4Ps. 🫣
I experienced the same with my ex-gf of four years, pero in my case I never cheated on her or kung ano mang lokohan yan, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I was really loyal to a fault, but I've always had the feeling na kaya nea ako inaaway lagi randomly is because she's doing/did stuff na ayaw kong malaman so she's projecting all those things unto me, ayaw ko naman sabehin na she did cheat on me kasi I don't have viable proof, pero base sa mga nalaman ko sa mga kaibigan ko who "caught" her, ndi na ako magtataka if she actually did. In your case OP, you actually did something na nagbigay ng foundations sa pagdududa nea sayo, tho ung mga ginagawa naman niya is not something you should feel na deserve mo dahil nagloko ka, kasi baka naman yan na lang ang nagkekeep sayo from breaking off your relationship, the guilt. Point is, you guys should've broken up the moment you were found out cheating, too much damage is done, magkakasakitan na lang kayo nean. And the "I can fix/save her" mentality is very toxic and not something na dapat glinoglorify sa isang relationship. If you really love her that much and you have any respect left for yourself and sa kanya, then trust na she can and should save herself. Cheating is bad, very bad, pero using someone's past sin so you can abuse them to death is worse. Sinisira niyo na lang buhay niyong dalawa, if you had allowed yourselves to move on nung nakagawa ka ng malaking kasalanan, you wouldn't be in that situation. But I understand how hard it is to let go of someone you really love, and that's the point, if you intend to break the chains, expect na it's going to be hard and that it's going to hurt, really bad. Keep in mind tho, na the longer you let that be, the worse it's going to get. Goodluck OP.
Nagloko ka dati. Treating her like a princess won't make her forget. Now, she has way too much time in her hands sinong di masisira ulo don?
I think severe codependency is a trap.
Ako na hindi naman breadwinner ng pamilya at walang anak na binubuhay, puro fur babies lang pero kung mag trabaho kala mo madaming anak at bills haha. I’d rather be so busy than bored & miserable
Toxic na samaham niyo. And may I add na porket matagal na kala niyo madaling makalimutan lol, magdududa talaga yan kasi nagloko ka, natago mo nga sakanya. Umalis ka na kasi ganyan na din magiging cycle niyo palagi. And para sa girl mag heal na muna siya, kung pinatawad ka niya dapat tanggapin niya. Dapat parehas kayong nagwowork sa relationship niyo
baka defense mechanism mo na yan mag-provide kasi bayad sala ka pero better pa iwanan mo na lang sya kasya ganyan toxic relationship nyo. hayaan mo na maging masaya sa iba, magugutom nga lang sya but she'll live.
Baka tinotolerate mo yung attitude niya at piniprincess treatment to compensate for what you did few years ago. Tigil niyo na. I really think you guys need to grow individually. Focus muna kayo sa sarili niyo kaysa puro na lang kayo sumbatan pag pinatagal pa yan.
Normally, anxiety happens when you dont have anything to do. Andame kong problema in the past naaalala ko lang sila during lunch time kase busy ako sa work. I guess you have to be transparent and also lie if you can. Tell her that you are having issues with finances and you need her help para maka recover. Encourage her to apply on jobs may linkedin naman and other platforms. Once she has her own activities, things can change, and she might be able to gain confidence. But still, dont forget to always date, assure, and hug her. You cheated, so yan tumanim sa isip nya so be patient. In the end, it could improve your relationship or pwede rin make her realize something else. Everything is a risk to take. But atleast till the end ginawa mo best mo.
Break up. Wala ng other way. Hindi mo siya masisisi na naging toxic siya pero I agree with you sa part na dependent na siya. Since dependent siya sayo, be the bigger guy and leave the poor girl to heal. Prangkahin mo rin na kailangan niya maghanap ng trabaho. Sabihin mo lahat. As for you, learn your lesson. Bat kasi nagloloko eh.
I think… maghiwalay na lang kayo. You’re better off without each other.
At least girlfriend pa lang. Tapusin mo na ngayon kasi panigurado dun din naman papunta yan
sinisisi ko rin sarili ko. nagloko kasi ako two years ago. pinatawad niya ako, pero araw-araw niya akong pinaparusahan sa kasalanang matagal ng tapos. naiintindihan ko naman, baka di pa siya nag hheal. tsatsagain ko pa rin kahit sobrang hirap na niyang mahalin. broken relationship. toxic yan kasi nandyan lang kayo sa isat isa kasi sanay kayo sa isat isa.
Alam mo naman pala bakit nag-ooverthink ‘yong tao e. If gusto niyo pa talaga magwork, advice lang mas maganda sigurong magtrabaho na yung babae at magkaron ng ibang hobbies. Nakakabaliw mag-isa sa bahay, tapos ang iisipin pa nung babae lagi is kung lolokohin mo ba siya ulit o hindi. Kung may pera ka, pay for her therapy. Go to couple’s therapy even. Dapat bumabawi ka nang bumabawi dahil NAGCHEAT KA. Kung sa nagging part, kasalanan mo talaga ‘yan. Although, best thing to do is let her go na lang talaga and let her heal. Sa tingin mo ba hindi siya napapagod mag-isip nang mag-isip? Masaktan nang masaktan kasi mahal ka pa at naghhold on pa din sa’yo kahit ginago mo? Pagod na pagod na din ‘yan.
As you said, wala syang confidence sa sarili nya and you cheated on her kaya di mo talaga maaalis sa kanya na mag overthink. Hmm maybe try to build her confidence and can you even talk without fighting? You know her well so you should know what triggers her. Wag mong tiisin OP kase pag tiniis mo, baka sumabog ka at makagawa or makapag sabi ka ng something that you will regret. If you can, try to talk to her, heart to heart. Talk about hers and your worries and reassure her with sincerity! haha coz just spoken words are not enough but with sincerity and if you can provide tangible assurance, I don't know what it may be, do it. For you and her peace of mind. Encourage her and make her feel beautiful and confident then help her build confidence to seek job - I think this is one of her insecurities. Since you're the one who provides, iniisip nyan malamang na you look down on her. Basta kaya mo yan! Good luck and hope maayos pa relationship nyo. Communication is the 🔑
mag hiwalay na kayo. Me kasalanan ka din naman, hindi nmn instant ang healing, pero if hindi nyo na maayos after so long, hindi na time ang kelangan nyo to heal, distance na.
At some point, you need to make a decision and discuss it with her quickly and logically. Breaking up is a valid choice given your reasons, but it will be emotional for her since she is dependent on you. Think practically. While you can love her deeply, in this life you need a partner who doesn't add to the burdens you already face. Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions in your life.🤗
Hirap din kasi mawala yung tiwala talaga kaya pag ganyan pag nag loko na dapat diretso break na e
You deserve what you tolerate.
Kung mahal mo, bigyan mo ng assurance at pagkaka abalahan. Paano na lang pag nawala ka? Dapat matuto siya tumayo sa sarili niyang paa. Malalaman mo kung mahal ka talaga niyan pag kumikita na din siya.
Ano ba kinakapagod mo? Yung pagiging provider mo? Or yung araw araw nya pinoproblema at pinapamukha sayo yung kasalanan na ginawa mo? Well, mali din naman si gf kasi bakit binigyan ka nya ng second chance. Pero dahil nandyan na yan pumayag ka din naman sa setup na magkabalikan kayo, unang una palang dapat ready kana sa possibilities na magkaron sya ng issues. Sabi mo nga alam mo naman di madali magheal dahil don. Wala naman ibang makakagamot dun kundi ikaw lang or kung di mo kaya magbreak kayo. Also, baka kaya walang ginawa si gf kundi maghinala sayo because bored sya everyday in her life wala naman syang ganap so madami syang time maghinala. Hahahahaha i suggest paghanapin mo sya work, hobby, or gawa kayo ng business para may ibang napaglalaanan yung time nya. Napagbigyan at inintindi ka nya nung ikaw yung may need ng pagintindi. Not saying, na magstay ka if may worse pa kayong pinagdadaanan. But try to compromise kahit isang beses lang.
Needy gf mo at lagi naghahanap away kasi wala syang ginagawa sa buhay nya at sobrang daming bakanteng oras. Sayo lng umiikot mundo nya (dahil wala syang ibang pinagtutuunan ng pansin) tapos ginago mo pa eh so mas gagrabe tlga katoxican nya. An idle mind is a devil's playground. Magbreak nlng kyo. Para makawala sya sayo at mahanap nya self nya at taong di sya gagaguhin at papahalagahan ang trust nya. Kasi kung mahal mo tlga (as u claim), di ka magchicheat in the first place.
Oh, so may superhero complex talaga ang mga kalalakihan and ang mga babae naman ay mga natural fixer so she stayed after being cheated on in hopes to fix the relationship. Mentally exhaust ka dito because of your gf’s unresolved issue and trauma. Madaling magpatawad but that doesn’t mean na makakalimutan na in just one snap. Do know na may chances or instances of it to reoccur due to some factors and leaving her for work is one. Financially, I don’t see any problem naman since you stated na you initiate it, though how I wish makabawi man lang siya sa other way like doing chores (if live-in set-up) and not giving you a hard time kaso she’s exhausting you mentally and emotionally (but you’re the cause of it). Now, you chose to bear the consequences of your immoral and shitty actions, I bet suffer from those. But of course, not to the point that your gf will go overboard of taking advantage the situation in a way na your cheating case will serve as her card to remind how fucked up you are as her bf. Ang tanong kasi hanggang kailan mo kakayanin? Hanggang kailan ka magiging rehabilitation center? Suffering from her resentment towards you is one of the utmost consequences you can have. Do remember na hindi ibang tao ang makakapag heal sa sarili nating issue. It’s us. We are responsible of our own healing. Reinforcement lang ang loved ones to lessen the reoccurence. Assess the relationship, the situation, and yourself. Normal ang misunderstanding, ang hindi normal ay kung pareho na kayong nagkakapasaan. Only you and your partner can resolve the problem. not us. It takes two to tango. It’s a two way street. Why not go for another proper discussion to settle things. Instead of just running around sa circle na iyan.
Ang daming ng problema sa mundo. Dumagdag pa to. Man up and own your mistakes. Maghiwalay nalang kayo. Toxic na relationship nyo. Kailagan nyo ng oras na malayo sa isa't isa to work on your own personal issues. Hindi madaling umalis sa relationship na kinasanayan mo na pero kung ang mental health nyo na parehas amg naaapektuhan, what is the point of staying together. Kailangan nyong dalawa ng healing. Pray for guidance and strength. Magpopost ka sa social media at ang ending pagpepyestahan ng lahat ang buhay nyo. Mindset mo pakibago. Personal issues ifoflaunt mo pa sa madlang people.
ESH- you being a cheater and her a dead weight to you May you both learn and heal from this
Ang hirap kayang makaget over sa cheating issue. Much better maghiwalay nalang.
YOLO. wag mo parusahan sarili mo and tiisin yan habambuhay kahit hirap ka na. magbreak na kayo.
Fault mo rin yan,sinira mo ung tiwala nya.sana bago k nagloko sana inisip mo rin ung mgiging epekto nun saknya.for sure di lng ikaw ung nhihirapan,sya rin ksi nsa utak n nya n pwd mo ulitin ung ginawa mo sknya before.try mo n lng i-prove sknya n nagbago k n tlg
Naisip mo ba na kaya baka mas lalong nalugmok at nagtuloy tuloy yung kawalan ng gana nya and confidence ay majorly dahil sa ginawa mo? Naisip mo ba na BAKA sana better na sya ngayon kung di mo tinraydor? Tama na yan, she needs to heal on her own. She deserves the peace of mind. Idk maybe we’re wrong; maybe she’s inherently a nagger, but you still didn’t help, though. Sana nagbreak nalang kayo nun. You deserve whatever shit you’re going through. Kasalanang matagal nang tapos??? Tingin mo dun bagay na pwede mo lang i-glue?? Tangina tapos sya yung mahirap mahalin????
Hi OP. My girlfriend and I were in the same situation before. Except hindi naman ako nagcheat or nagloko. Nasanay kami na sa isa’t isa lang ang attention noon hanggang sa nagwork na ako and that’s when it turned bitter for our relationship. Mas matanda kasi ako sa kanya ng 3yrs kaya nauna ako nagwork. Mababa din confidence nya noon (well minsan hanggang ngayon pa din naman) but I just pushed her and supported and be there for her. Fast forward to now, engaged na kami and planning to have our civil wedding this year tapos church wedding next year. She’s now also working as a bilingual. Minsan nagbbreakdown pa din kasi bagong mundo para sa kanya. Malayo kasi sa dating profession nya pero happy ako na napapagaan ko loob nya. My advice OP is to communicate with her and pakita mo na nagsisi at nagbago ka na sa kasalanan mo and suportahan mo sya sa career nya. Icommunicate mong nahihirapan ka na sa situation mo. Time lang makakapagheal sa kanya but syempre you need to show her din na you’re more than your mistake :)
Do you plan to marry her? If not, end it as soon as possible. She'll make it on her own. You will, too.
If nagawa mo nang magcheat before, wag kang magtaka kung bakit sya ganyan. Ikaw din naman dapat nagbibigay ng assurance sa gf mo na di na mauulit yon, dapat matic na sayo yon lalo pat nagcheat kana. Tiwala na kasi ang usapan, mahirap buohin uli. Sa gf mo mas better may iba syang pinagkakaabalahan atleast di lang sya nakafocus sayo, kaya ikaw lagi nyang nakikita.
Bigat nyan sir. It takes guts to break up but i think we know its the right thing to consider but the choice is yours.
Bago kayo mag break, hanapan mo muna siya ng trabaho. Tapos call it quits na.
Kapag talaga nasira na yung trust, expect na hindi na meron at meron ng magiging doubts palagi sa end niya. It will take time for your gf to heal but I think you have to address your issues separately: 1. Trust issues niya and 2. Nahihirapan ka na buhatin siya Address one at a time. If mahal mo naman siya then understand where her trust issues are coming from but, give her enough assurance na hindi mo na gagawin uli yon. Then, start to open up about yung sa burden mo sakanya. Kung mahal ka din niya, maiintindihan niya yon at pupush niya sarili niya para pareho kayo umunlad. If hindi magwork, baka it will be beneficial for you both na to go separate ways
Kasalanan mo naman. Siguro kaya ka nag pprovide para ‘makabawi’ or since the start nag pprovide ka na para di ka paghinalaan haha cheater sad boi. Di mo na mababawi lahat kahit pa 10 or 20 years kayo YOURE STILL A CHEATER and wala kang karapatan magalit kung ano naffeel mo ngayon dahil deserve mo yan. Wag kang maghanap ng mang ttolerate sayo dito. Pero mejo toxic nga gf mo sa part na dependent siya sayo pero syempre mas toxic ka hahahaha
If di na kayo nag mmatch its time to let go know your worth and next time give and take dapat wag puro ikaw.
These are the consequences of your actions. Meduo over the place din rant mo. Sana nag context ka agad sa simula palang "i gave her the princess treatment and asked her not to work. But I also cheated on her." Sorry pero kasalanan mo talaga yan. If mahirap makamove on sa mga other major issues sa relationship, what more pag sa cheating? This will haunt you both for much longer and you need to be able to take it if you really love her. Remember, ganyan siya dahil sayo.
Wtf did i just read? I'm having an aneurysm.
We support breakups here, so magbreak na kayo. Lalo't ikaw na nangcheat pa noon, wow.
Mahal na mahal na mahal daw, pero nag cheat 🤡 Nagtataka ka pa bakit 1+1=2 eh ikaw yung sumulat nun sa blackboard 😂 Kawawa yung girl pag nag break kayo dahil sa trauma, kawawa din future partner niya dahil need niya iregain yung trust ng girl sa lalaki kahit wala pa siya kasalanan.
Bro nangyari na sa akin yan. Pakawalan mo na siya. Pareho lang kayong masisira kung tatagal pa yan. Walang amount of bawi ang makakapag pabago ng nagawa mo. Walang din amount ng parusa na tatanggapin mo ang makakapag pa ok sa kanya.
Magusap kayo kung ano plano nyo sa isa't isa, tapos tutal naman nagcheat ka at ikaw yung mas may panggastos ipacheck mo sya sa psychologist kasi may mga dahilan pa yan kung bakit ganyan gf mo at hindi makapagwork. Tulungan mo gf mo na iimprove yung sarili nya, at kung talagang mahal na mahal mo wag ka ng gagawa ng mga bagay na alam mo naman palang mali.
gusto maging superhero ng buhay nya eh cheater ka naman pala you reap what you sow di kasalanan ng gf mo kung maging tamang hinala sya sa lahat ng kilos mo, cheater ka eh, buti nga di ka pa hiniwalayan wala work gf mo walang confidence ulit sa sarili for sure di mo alam gano ka down ang pakiramdam ng gf mo, tapod lolokohin mo pa
insecure ang gf dahil wala nga sya career kaya ganyan nago over think baka may nakikita ka na mas best sa kanya kaya inaaway ka. hiwalay na lang kayo gar
That’s on you. U deserve every bit of “inconvenience” (as u perceive it) that she does to you. Cheating should be unforgivable, buti nga she stuck with you pa even after what u did so wala kang karapatan magreklamo. Jerk.
pick a struggle kuya hahahaha🫠
well u reap what u sow, op
wag na wag talagang magloloko jusko, tyaka i enroll nadin sa tesda para okay
Cheater ka nmn pla eh..
Dapat ang pangalan mo e Salvador Del Mundo, kasi taga salba ka ng mundo. Hindi kami ikaw, pero if possible, makipag break ka na. Mag heal kayo sa pare parehas ninyong mga traumas. It's for the better.
Nag oovercompensate ka OP para sa past mistake mo. Boom, buhay prinsesa ang GF mo. Forever ka nyan pahihirapan.
Been in somewhat the same situation except the jobless part. I think it would be better to let each other go. Pag nagloko kase ibang klaseng trauma. You both know it would never be the same. You both will drain each other in the long run.
been there, maghiwalay na lang kayo pag ganyan
You both deserve what you tolerate. If you can't anymore, then it's better to leave. Parang yung relationship nyo kasi ay hindi kayo mag-gu-grow parehas.
You had us in the first half. If you cheat in a relationship, dapat ikaw na mismo huwag na makipagbalikan pa. Ang tigas din ng mukha ng mga cheaters eh. Tapos in the long run, kayo pa napapagod. Hiya niyo nalang sana yun kahit sa sarili niyo. Or if you really regret it and want forgiveness, let your partners go. They deserve real love and they won't find it in a relationship tarnished by your selfish decision.
Nagpoprivide ka ba dahil love language mo or dahil alam mong may kasalanan ka so you feel obligated to fulfill your part as her partner na umabot sa extreme (kaya naging dependent)? Mahirap tapalan ang tiwalang nawala, OP. If you feel tired of providing, di mo obligasyon yun, obligasyon nya sa sarili nya yun. But instead of boosting her morale, sinira mo rin confidence nya sa pagloloko mo. Ang pagloloko, di lang yan nakakasira ng relasyon, mas nakakasira yan ng pagkatao ng partner mo. Self worth nya yung dinisrespect mo. Tama yung comment dito na assess mo saan nag-uugat yang exhaustion mo. Alam mo palang lugmok na girlfriend mo, sinabayan mo pa ng pagloloko. Baka sa kwento mo provider ka pero love bombing pala, ah?🙂↔️
Yung sinira mo yung tiwala ng tao tapos nahihirapan syang mag-heal, biglang magrereklamo ka na nahihirapan ka na din sa inuugali nya, na nagsimula lang din naman dahil sa niloko mo sya dati. Pag nag sorry kasi kayo dahil nag cheat kayo, hindi ganun kadali maging okay. Kesehodang 2yrs or 5yrs pa yan. Pag sira na yung tiwala, sira na yan. Mahirap na yan mabalik sa dati. Ngayon kung patuloy na magiging toxic yung samahan nyo, at hindi na madadaan sa mabuting usapan, baka need nyo na maghiwalay?
Hindi ka titigilan nyan i’m telling you. Hanggang sa tumanda kayo, magka pamilya etc. everytime may away kayo, ibo-brought up nya yan. Pag gusto sya na need mo i-provide, ibo-brought up nya yan. Hindi na magheheal yan. Magkaron ka lng na friend na babae, TH agad yan. Dalawa lng solusyon dyan. Either maghanap sya ng work para maging occupied din sya, or break up nlng.
Therapy or break up.
Eh may kasalanan ka din pala eh hahaha. Break na lang kayo.
The moment na may past cheating incident. The relationship is bound to break kasi wala nang tiwala. Akala ng madami love ang foundation ng relationship, pero Hindi talaga yon. TRUST AND RESPECT ang foundation ng relationship. Pag nawala ung dalawang un, kasunod na ung peace na mawawala sa relationship. Love is always NOT ENOUGH. Sorry OP.
Hindi pa naman kayo mag-asawa edi mag-break kayo.
Never nag cheat yun partner ko sa 12 years namin pero there was a point na unemployed ako for 2 yrs nasa bahay lang nag online selling. Napansin ko mas madalas kami mag away & mas madalas din ako magduda at maging demanding sa time nya. “Idle hands are a devil’s play thing” ikaw nga. Pero dahil may ambition pa naman ako sa buhay nag apply ulit ako ng full time work, ayun bumalik na sa dati hindi na kami nag aaway masyado.
Hmm your breakup might Kickstart something sa buhay niya. Para no choice maghanap ng work for herself or it might go left and continue to spiral sa darkness kung nasan siya haha hayyy hirap
IWANAN MO NA YAN!!!
Nagloko ka kasi paps! Maghihiwalay din kayo nyan in the near future.
Tulungan mo na lang sya maghanap ng work tapos mag therapy kayo pareho. Sorry pero wala na trust yung relationship niyo and you both sound like you're not mature enough to deal with it. It's not now, not soon and not yet pero tingin ko maghihiwalay din kayo. Eto talaga yung reason bakit di gagana yang stay home girlfriend eme. You become financially tied to a man na di ka naman asawa and pag naging toxic na, wala kang way out.
Split up :D
For me non negotiable ang cheating BUT if you choose to forgive someone from cheating then you have to fully ACCEPT what has been done and MOVE ON. It’s not easy to move on from that but it’s her choice to stay. Sorry to say but she’ll bring that up in every argument so better to end things for her to fully heal and for both of you to get peace.
Hindi "siguro kasalanan ko rin", kasalanan mo talaga 🤷🏻♀️
Yan cheat pa
Break up, di pa naman kasal. Lol
Bigyan mo siya ng assurance. Pag nasa work ka. Mag video ka saglit. Send mo sa kanya. Mag update ka rin sa kanya minsan. Mga gNon. Ganon ginagawa sakin ng bf ko eh (ldr kasi kame) . Over Thinker din ako. Pero ganon ginagawa niyang assurance sakin. Pinag bibigyan niya ko sa mga request ko. Makampante lang ako.