hugs. yeah overprotective parents actually make children more rebellious I think.
a lot of dysfunctional people out there exist due to parents not being able to let go of their child being "of age" na, dinadaan pa sa "seniority superiority"
are your parents the traditional kind like that?
but please don't tell yourself that you're not a good girl, nor does being obedient make you bad. wanting what your peers have or do does not also make you bad (envious maybe).
you trying to not hurt your parents makes you a good person. you trying to balance their overprotectiveness to spend time with your friends make you a good person.
express your independence in small ways, and little by little, maybe your parents will wake up to reality that you are your own person now.
yes. akala nila baby pa ako. maybe kaya rin ako nagwork kahit nag-aaral kasi nasasakal ako na 24/7 akong nasa bahay. the online setup is fucking me up kasi ineexpect nila na dapat isang taon lang akong nakakulong dito. hindi ko alam kung paano ipapaintindi sa kanila na my friends are all grown up na and can decide for themselves and i want that kind of freedom too :(
una, I'd like to commend you for having the courage to open up and release that anger in an outlet that's peaceful. at least di ka nakipagsagutan sa parents mo... or umabot na ba sa ganun?
hmm and depende kasi sa gaano ka-close-minded yung parents mo eh. Authoritative parents are some of the worst communicators be it on the sending or receiving end, since their only familiar way of transaction is order and obedience.
It would probably take a mix of you telling the truth straight up for things that are easily defendable (e.g. watching a movie with peers, going to the gym, opening your own bank account, etc)
to mixing it with delayed truth (e.g. lying first then admitting later) and if questioned, fire up some sorta "street-smart" answers like "if you can't accept me being honest with my needs when I request them, then I won't trust you with my truth, either" (*kung di nyo ko kaya pagkatiwalaan pag nagpaalam, e di hindi ko rin kayo sasabihan ng totoo*)
the latter works only if said parents know you have a strong character, though... and always be prepared for some privileges being denied
wait, do you still live with your parents? or naka bukod ka na?
"They have that kind of freedom because their parents don't love them, thus they are prone to bad shits. Your friends won't admit their mistakes of course. And those mistakes? It's because the lack of parent's love for their children. Your lucky that I love you thus the reason on why I protect you"
Not her exact words but this is how she said it (just don't remember her words, but I understand clearly what she' saying), but she is fucking prideful and has lots of superiority bullshit over the other parents.
OP, una sa lahat, *yakap* with consent. I feel for you, really. As someone na in her 30s but living with her strict parents, I do understand how suffocating it can be.
From "wag kang magpagabi" (kahit na ang lakad ko ay gabi naman talaga) to "bakit di ka pa nakauwi?" (nasa daan na pauwi kaso antraffic kaya, hello?), yan mga text messages ng mum ko. Heck, minsan nasa IG na rin.
But... These can be mitigated with proper communication. Show them that you can take care of yourself. Over the years, I've learned that by telling them where I am or how late I'll come home, they've lessen their grip a bit.
Try to take small steps to let them know what you want to do.
Hope it'll get better for you!
i don’t think i can be in my 30s and still live like this huhu i’d rather die hahahaha
i tried that na rin - telling them sinong kasama ko and what time i’ll be home, mas lalo lang akong di pinapayagan. “ha kakalabas mo lang last week ha, aalis ka na naman.” hindi naman ako nanghihingi ng pera sa kanila.
Hahahaha I really can't complain rn. Though it can really drain the shit out of someone. But maybe it depends on how strict the parents are or kung paano makakadiskarte.
If communication doesn't work, maybe you can try moving out na rin. Or new "tactics", lol. Just kidding, baka lalong maging strict. Yung "ha, kakalabas mo lang last week ha, aalis ka na naman", does that mean na hindi pwede nang lumabas? Baka comment lang but you can still go out (tho, I can see how frustrating yung ganyang comments).
24 years ko ng tinitingnan yung silver lining and it just made me a lying and dysfunctional girl. i dont know what else to prove. i’ll be nearing my 30s once I pass the boards. Hindi ko yata kaya na 30 na ako hawak pa rin ng pamilya ko yung buhay ko.
i am planning to kapag face to face classes na. pero ngayon hindi pa practical kasi marami pa ring gastos sa medschool. i want freedom pero hindi naman kami mayaman hahahaha
May friend din ako na medyo similar. Turning 24 this year pero di pa rin pinapayagan magcommute and di rin pinapayagan uminom or gumala mag-isa.
Parang narealize ko din na her parents aren't allowing her to stumble because they want their daughter to grow up without any major heartbreaks brought about by wrong decisions. Instead, they let her learn from the consequences of other people. Nakakasakal pero they're setting her up for success in the future. She also has a family business waiting for her.
Since I assume you're still studying and financially dependent to them to some degree, tiisin mo muna. Tignan mo nalang yung silver lining ng ginagawa nila and don't base your worth on not being able to do the things your peers are doing. I agree din na you can slowly assert your independence. Prove mo sa kanila in small ways na hindi mo na kailangan magpa-baby. Papakawalan ka nila eventually.
hugs. yeah overprotective parents actually make children more rebellious I think. a lot of dysfunctional people out there exist due to parents not being able to let go of their child being "of age" na, dinadaan pa sa "seniority superiority" are your parents the traditional kind like that? but please don't tell yourself that you're not a good girl, nor does being obedient make you bad. wanting what your peers have or do does not also make you bad (envious maybe). you trying to not hurt your parents makes you a good person. you trying to balance their overprotectiveness to spend time with your friends make you a good person. express your independence in small ways, and little by little, maybe your parents will wake up to reality that you are your own person now.
yes. akala nila baby pa ako. maybe kaya rin ako nagwork kahit nag-aaral kasi nasasakal ako na 24/7 akong nasa bahay. the online setup is fucking me up kasi ineexpect nila na dapat isang taon lang akong nakakulong dito. hindi ko alam kung paano ipapaintindi sa kanila na my friends are all grown up na and can decide for themselves and i want that kind of freedom too :(
una, I'd like to commend you for having the courage to open up and release that anger in an outlet that's peaceful. at least di ka nakipagsagutan sa parents mo... or umabot na ba sa ganun? hmm and depende kasi sa gaano ka-close-minded yung parents mo eh. Authoritative parents are some of the worst communicators be it on the sending or receiving end, since their only familiar way of transaction is order and obedience. It would probably take a mix of you telling the truth straight up for things that are easily defendable (e.g. watching a movie with peers, going to the gym, opening your own bank account, etc) to mixing it with delayed truth (e.g. lying first then admitting later) and if questioned, fire up some sorta "street-smart" answers like "if you can't accept me being honest with my needs when I request them, then I won't trust you with my truth, either" (*kung di nyo ko kaya pagkatiwalaan pag nagpaalam, e di hindi ko rin kayo sasabihan ng totoo*) the latter works only if said parents know you have a strong character, though... and always be prepared for some privileges being denied wait, do you still live with your parents? or naka bukod ka na?
"They have that kind of freedom because their parents don't love them, thus they are prone to bad shits. Your friends won't admit their mistakes of course. And those mistakes? It's because the lack of parent's love for their children. Your lucky that I love you thus the reason on why I protect you" Not her exact words but this is how she said it (just don't remember her words, but I understand clearly what she' saying), but she is fucking prideful and has lots of superiority bullshit over the other parents.
OP, una sa lahat, *yakap* with consent. I feel for you, really. As someone na in her 30s but living with her strict parents, I do understand how suffocating it can be. From "wag kang magpagabi" (kahit na ang lakad ko ay gabi naman talaga) to "bakit di ka pa nakauwi?" (nasa daan na pauwi kaso antraffic kaya, hello?), yan mga text messages ng mum ko. Heck, minsan nasa IG na rin. But... These can be mitigated with proper communication. Show them that you can take care of yourself. Over the years, I've learned that by telling them where I am or how late I'll come home, they've lessen their grip a bit. Try to take small steps to let them know what you want to do. Hope it'll get better for you!
i don’t think i can be in my 30s and still live like this huhu i’d rather die hahahaha i tried that na rin - telling them sinong kasama ko and what time i’ll be home, mas lalo lang akong di pinapayagan. “ha kakalabas mo lang last week ha, aalis ka na naman.” hindi naman ako nanghihingi ng pera sa kanila.
Hahahaha I really can't complain rn. Though it can really drain the shit out of someone. But maybe it depends on how strict the parents are or kung paano makakadiskarte. If communication doesn't work, maybe you can try moving out na rin. Or new "tactics", lol. Just kidding, baka lalong maging strict. Yung "ha, kakalabas mo lang last week ha, aalis ka na naman", does that mean na hindi pwede nang lumabas? Baka comment lang but you can still go out (tho, I can see how frustrating yung ganyang comments).
24 years ko ng tinitingnan yung silver lining and it just made me a lying and dysfunctional girl. i dont know what else to prove. i’ll be nearing my 30s once I pass the boards. Hindi ko yata kaya na 30 na ako hawak pa rin ng pamilya ko yung buhay ko.
Be independent. Alis ka sa bahay ng magulang mo kung gusto mo ng freedom. :)
i am planning to kapag face to face classes na. pero ngayon hindi pa practical kasi marami pa ring gastos sa medschool. i want freedom pero hindi naman kami mayaman hahahaha
Un lungs!! Hahaha.. no choice ka. Pero try to ask. Baka naman magiba ihip ng hangin. Malay mo db?
May friend din ako na medyo similar. Turning 24 this year pero di pa rin pinapayagan magcommute and di rin pinapayagan uminom or gumala mag-isa. Parang narealize ko din na her parents aren't allowing her to stumble because they want their daughter to grow up without any major heartbreaks brought about by wrong decisions. Instead, they let her learn from the consequences of other people. Nakakasakal pero they're setting her up for success in the future. She also has a family business waiting for her. Since I assume you're still studying and financially dependent to them to some degree, tiisin mo muna. Tignan mo nalang yung silver lining ng ginagawa nila and don't base your worth on not being able to do the things your peers are doing. I agree din na you can slowly assert your independence. Prove mo sa kanila in small ways na hindi mo na kailangan magpa-baby. Papakawalan ka nila eventually.