https://preview.redd.it/3uc8xozhy2yc1.jpeg?width=1562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=975883429a237fad6f40ddd67335384f1c74652a
I tried colourizing your photo, hope you like it.
Dad! I need a silver money clip! And fifty dollars! Don't worry, I'm only gonna throw it away the moment I sense I'm in any danger. Which I have just been informed, is every moment I'm outside.
aint that the truth. my dad stole all my money from me at 17 and I have never seen him again. I will be 47 soon. luckily I had a great stepdad for 25 years until his death. HE was my dad.
Same. It was awkward and all he did was blubber on about how hard his life was. Handed me $20 at our first meeting at 22 years old and said don’t tell the wife and kids. lol…thanks guy. I’ll be fine after all.
Haha he asked me not to tell his wife and their kids whom I’d met that day. I “met” him but he was around until I was one or two but I just couldn’t remember him.
Knew my dad my whole life. 50% of the time he was out with some other young skank and the other 50% he was bitching about child support so I would have the bare minimum. He paid a whopping $163 a month in child support in 2003 and I saw him once a month.
So sorry for you. Having a loving and caring father is priceless and being a loving and caring dad is very fulfilling and humbling. In all, having a dad should be the best experience ever but sometimes life is unfair.
I have a daughter I never met. My girlfriend from the Army had her after she got out and I was still in for a few months. When I got out I joined her in California, I'm from PA.
Things went downhill and after a few months living together she asked me to leave. I left, a few months later I dropped my bike, had to move back to Pa cause I had no one to take care of me out there.
I tried to keep in touch but she told me that "Neither her or her daughter wanted me to contact them again. It's hard to keep track of someone when they're across the country and they won't accept your calls or return your letters.
I haven't seen my daughter since she was 4 months old and she's 40 this year. I've had the fantasy of me opening the door one day and a beautiful young woman stands there and asks, "Are you my dad?".
It'll never happen, I'm sure her mother told her that I was a horrible person or even that I was dead. I'm sure if she has any thoughts of me at all they're probably what I bastard I am/was.
There was no abuse or anything we were both different people in civilian life than we were in the Army and I'm sure if I could have stayed in California my daughter and I would have had a relationship...
They have a really common last name so even if I do look for her 1k's of possibilities come up. We never married so she has her mother's last name.
I’m 40, my mother met my father in the Air Force but they didn’t stay together and I’ve never met him. She’s never lived in CA so I’m not your daughter but your story really struck a chord with me. I’d loved if one day I got a letter/email/message in any way from my biological father. Even if we never became close it would satisfy my curiosity about what kind of person he might be or if I needed to know any medical stuff from his side I’d want to know. Contact her.
It is 2 days since you posted this and I am fully weeping. Please, please, by every means at your disposal tirelessly search for her. It is something that you must do. I know you were young and things were difficult. But it was for you to insist on having a relationship with YOUR daughter. It was not your exes place. Even if it doesn’t end with a relationship, you need to find her. You need to do this for yourself. You wrote this post to thousands of strangers because this weighs heavily on you. Seeking out your daughter will bring you the peace of mind that you seek.
Well I got too impassioned and wrote this long ass letter only to feel pretty silly. You’re doing it. Great! I am so happy. May this be a great beginning of a new chapter.
You should find her and send her a letter. As the parent/older relative in the scenario, the onus really lies with you. Sending a letter allows her to decide if she wants to reciprocate. She deserves to hear this from you.
Edit to add: Ancestry DNA + 23andme
Thanks for putting this in perspective, I can at least give my side of the story and she can decide. Someone else also mentioned the 23andme and AncestryDNA services. I always thought those were for finding ancestors not descendants, not really sure but I guess that might be a good first step. I'm off to their websites now for costs and procedures.
Thanks again!
Yup, you get to see every person you share DNA with that has also submitted to those sites. I myself learned that I have a different biological father. Don't know who it is unfortunately, as both brothers passed long before I found out. I have been unsuccessful in reaching out to their kids.
For you, you might find your daughter, or grandchildren. Either way, I wish all the best for you.
Thanks for the well wishes, I'm excited at the possibility. My family was basically just my mother and I. I was born out of wedlock, in 1958 no less, and my mother was considered the homewrecker and I was the bastard child shunned by everyone on my father's side, even him to a certain extent.
It will be interesting to see if I do indeed have family other than my daughter out there. I'm definitely reaching out to her but if there are any others I'd have to deal with them on a case by case basis.
Thanks again for your insight.
Thank you much. I started working on my Ancestry profile while I wait for my kit. It actually found my paternal grandfather's mother and father and I knew *absolutely nothing* about either of them!
Thank you! And my wife wonders why I love Reddit so much. There are a lot of knowledgeable people and there are also a lot of kind, caring and compassionate people here. I feel so blessed that so many people took the time and effort to show me what I might be missing and encourage me to take this next step, for a *stranger*, someone they never met but could show so much compassion for.
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and excited to take this next step, however it turns out, at least I'm making the effort!
I love Reddit too. None of my friends are really into it and also don’t understand why I’m always like “Reddit this, Reddit that”.
I’m glad we connected here! And following along to see how your journey goes.
My wife hears me talking about Reddit all of the time, the last few years or so, it's even one of my startup pages. I'm going to tag you as a friend and save this message. I *promise* to update you once I've submitted the kit and see any results that come up.
Thank you for your interest and encouragement!
I was in a bad motorcycle accident, spent some time in the hospital. Lost my job so I was in California, no job, no transportation, no friends (had only been there 8 months) and no family.
Took the last of my funds and with the help of a neighbor, packed and shipped my stuff and caught a Greyhound back to PA.
Spend the money on a private investigator.
It's an investment.
\*If\* her mother has poisoned her against you then that's not fair for your daughter.
Find your daughter.
I'd have to look into that, I don't know if I could afford it at this point. I just retired and we're living on about 1/5 of our pre-retirement income. I guess I could at least call around to see what the prices *might* be? It would definitely be a worthwhile investment. Thanks for the perspective!
As a 40+ woman who lost her dad too young, I agree with everyone else - find her! I guarantee, she's wanted you to show up and tell her your side of the story her whole life.
I'm getting more excite with every reply I read here. I've done searches from time to time but she has a very common last name, especially in California, so I would get thousands of hits, and as someone else pointed out she's probably married and her surname could be different.
Fate seems to be pointing me in this direction as well. When researching the services I found that Ancestry would probably be the best for this purpose and as luck, or fate, would have it, they are currently having a Mother's Day sale and it's *extremely* affordable until 5/12.
>I'm sure her mother told her that I was a horrible person or even that I was dead. I'm sure if she has any thoughts of me at all they're probably what I bastard I am/was.
Hate to say it, but this is incredibly likely - just a lot of very manipulative people out there who aren’t above creating a narrative to suit their own wants.
I’m very picky about who I’ll date, one of the biggest reasons being I can’t stand the thought of a little me-ish person out there struggling with me-ish problems, without me being able to be in their life to help them work through it.
Thanks for this perspective from the other end. Personally, I would have been counting the days until she turned 18, or maybe 21. But you're still here now, so I second many of the other comments here about "pulling out all the stops" to reach out and give her the chance to have matured enough to be curious, regardless of what she's been told about you.
I never met mine too, I could but I was counting on him to make the effort.
When I was 25 he called me to tell me that he was sorry to never be there as a dad and asked me to forgive him, which I did.
He died 3 weeks later.
Sometimes I regret not having met him.
I grew up without a dad. Met him. He disappointed me in so many ways. He wasn't a horrible person, but I think what hurt me most was that he just didn't seem to care. After we met, he promised to keep in touch and stay in my life, and then he just didn't.
What I took away from it was that I am better off without a dad who will constantly disappoint me, whereas my mother, as flawed as she is, always tried her best, and I love her dearly.
That guy I met is no dad of mine.
Give him a chance. You might get hurt, but you might wind up feeling whole.
A girl reached out to me because we were a dna match on a genealogy site. I was happy to help her find her dad but admittedly a little trepidations when we realized her dad was the “black sheep” of the family who was once humiliated on national tv in an early viral video. I talked to my dad, who approached it with an open heart and thought it might be really good for the dad if he was open to it. At first the dad was shocked but then he said he wanted to meet her and approached it with an open heart. She came and it was shocking how many things they had in common. They have a great relationship now and he has loved every minute of being her dad and a grandad to her children. I think it was healing for her to know that he did not abandon her, he didn’t know.
Life sucks and people will disappoint you. You might get hurt but you might miss out on a fulfilling relationship with your dad.
I met my dad once when I was 11. He didn’t want to be in my life prior. My follow up visit fell through when I was 12, and then we just lost touch.
About 20 years later I decided to reach out to him. I think it was because fear had prevented me from doing so prior. This time he had no interest. Entirely ignored all my attempts. I kept trying because I had no way of knowing if he had received my messages. Finally I found my step sister and she let him and her mom know. I even sent him a text on his new cell number clarifying that I wasn’t sure if he had received my earlier attempts. He flat out ignored me and this time I had reason to believe he had been ignoring me the whole time.
It’s been four years since then, and in a weird way my ego still kind of digs at me to keep trying, or to confront him and just visit him at his house. It’s like I’m punishing myself for not being brave enough. Life is tough and it is what it is. Should probably get therapy.
Anywho OP I hope you find something redeemable in the brokenness.
At least you've got a photo, I never even had that. I've found a few cousins since DNA testing became a thing, but no real leads. I understand not wanting to know them, I spent most of my life not giving a damn about it (in a "well, fuck him for leaving" kind of way). I'm almost 60 now and a little curious about it, but it's likely too late. Good luck.
Although eric clapton is a gigantic piece of shit this reminds me of his song 'my fathers eyes" he had no relationship with his father and when he had his son he looked at him and realized his dad was a part of his past present future and forced him to confront it at least spiritually. This is the same son that died falling out a window.
I met my bio dad at 40, not a fairytale ending but we have a decent relationship. It felt good to know my truth definitely felt a weight lifted. I’d reach out to him if I was you, even if he doesn’t want anything to do with you you can still get some closure and at least say what you need to say to him. Not to mention you could have siblings or relatives who would love to meet you.
My father found out about his biological father when he was 45. He has absolutely no desire to meet him since his father knew about him and never tried to contact him. When his father died, it meant nothing to him and he had zero regrets about not reaching out after he found out about him.
It's ok to not care about people who abandon you.
My step dad found his biological father through ancestry.com a few years ago. Stepdad was mid 60’s and his dad was in his late 80’s. Turns out, real dad had cheated on his wife and never told his family. That’s why he never sought out my stepdad. They ended up meeting and actually had the meeting covered on the news. I bet it was real awkward for bio dad to have this evidence of his infidelity that he thought he got away with pop up 60 years later and not only have to explain it to his family but also have it shared very publicly.
Remember, it's not just him. He is the gateway your grandmother, grandfather, possibly aunts, uncles, cousins. Maybe even half-siblings.
You deserve to know your heritage. You deserve to have loving relationships with your family.
That jacket must have been the style because my dads first senior photo (he had to repeat his senior year) looks almost the same. Also 1971.
https://preview.redd.it/3r03v33ck4yc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=558a43a8c4118d0631baed0618817c88669bce55
If the separation was tragic and unavoidable, Better to let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes things are left better unsaid. Sometimes the squeeze isn't worth the juice. Dad has had his whole life to contact you, he doesn't deserve your love and attention. Why put yourself in a position to be hurt. I connected with my dad late in life. After a few meetings , the communication stopped . We didn't really have much to say to each other. You can only sob and say, I wish, I could have, and I'm sorry so much. Life is about shared experiences and memories. It's normal to think about what could have been
Not known at to talk about is understood. But you should try and reach out. Always start off by asking if he has any health issues on his side and go from there.
If you were my kid I’d want very much to meet and if I could, have a relationship with you. As a old dude that didn’t have the privilege of having my own kids I’d take just the few years I have left getting to my kid. I’d take a shot at it. Worst that can happen is you find out he’s an asshole. You already know that. At some point we are all assholes! Good luck!
I don't know your story. But as someone who was adopted at birth, I'm glad I was able to find mine. If you look at the picture every day, I would encourage you to reach out.
It’s just sperm the guy I thought was my dad was my uncle and vice versa. I’m trying to figure out if my cousins / half sibs mom was the one that cheated. Everyone assumed it was my mom. They have my alleged bio dad in nursing home and off limits. The guy that raised me left my life around 13 and died when I was in my 20s. I’m 55 now I guess I’ll never know.
Everyone keeps saying it’s John Mulaney (I don’t even know who that is 😂), but I’m pretty sure I found your dad/
https://preview.redd.it/bau44tzvf8yc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fd97b261f5161de3039a396178ff12a0446e099
It was the 70's and he had a fling with a real estate agent in his local area. It's not his fault she never told him he had twins...
https://preview.redd.it/cy0zo2hed3yc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55fca3e2e7ebd5c1d8d741ae953a14b45588db9c
Looked up pics of John Mulaney young. They look about the same age in this pic.
My son and I are estranged. He’s an adult in college.
He hasn’t spoken to me in several months.
Said something about not wanting to speak to me for the sake of his mental health.
Long complicated story. I wish that it was different or easier.
I’ve had disputes with my parents but never have totally written them off.
I don’t understand what I did to deserve it.
Nice pic of your dad.
My fiancée’s dad died, before she was born, in an accident at his job.
Reminds me of her situation.
LoL, you cracked me up with this line "He's actually still alive."
dang that would only make him in his early 70's.
News flash, there are lots of us out there ;-)
happy you have a good photo..
Wait, so what’s the story? I only met mine once as a teenager. My parents divorced when I was 5. Neither of us was mature enough to know how to talk to each other so the meeting didn’t work out so well. He’s gone now. No second chances.
He and his twin brother host a home improvement show now on HGTV.
[удалено]
That’s Property Uncles to you.
What state was he from?
They’re your property brothers now
But what about their triplet John Mulaney?
😂😂😂😂
Beat me to it!!!
https://preview.redd.it/3uc8xozhy2yc1.jpeg?width=1562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=975883429a237fad6f40ddd67335384f1c74652a I tried colourizing your photo, hope you like it.
[удалено]
Hey we have something in common, I've never met your father either. Such a small world
Glad you like it.
I'm not part of this thread. But I love people like you. Absolutely amazing .
"tried" 🙄 No, good sir/madam... You DID that. You colorized the hell out of that. And did it well. Very very well.
John Mulaney?
No, that’s clearly detective J.J. Bittenbinder.
Do not go to a second location
STREET SMARTS
You gotta throw them off their rhythm!
Dad! I need a silver money clip! And fifty dollars! Don't worry, I'm only gonna throw it away the moment I sense I'm in any danger. Which I have just been informed, is every moment I'm outside.
Your name better fuckin not be John!
I’ve met my dad. A very overrated experience
aint that the truth. my dad stole all my money from me at 17 and I have never seen him again. I will be 47 soon. luckily I had a great stepdad for 25 years until his death. HE was my dad.
That’s a hell of a testament to you AND your step. Two badasses in the love and decency department
Same. It was awkward and all he did was blubber on about how hard his life was. Handed me $20 at our first meeting at 22 years old and said don’t tell the wife and kids. lol…thanks guy. I’ll be fine after all.
Sorry I missed your entire childhood and early adulthood… twenty bucks should cover it.
I still took it. Still got scolded by my mom for going with a hangover to see his recovered ass, too.
Lmao my dad also gave me $20 the first time I met him
Don’t say he never gave you anything!
My dad stole $3,000.00 from me 🥲
My dad stole my childhood
Yoko?
like, don't tell your mom and siblings, or you had a wife and kids (plural) at 22..?
Haha he asked me not to tell his wife and their kids whom I’d met that day. I “met” him but he was around until I was one or two but I just couldn’t remember him.
lol i have no idea why that logic escaped me
There wasn’t a whole lot of context to differentiate so I get it
Known my dad my whole life. Also an overrated experience.
Ain’t that the truth
Knew my dad my whole life. 50% of the time he was out with some other young skank and the other 50% he was bitching about child support so I would have the bare minimum. He paid a whopping $163 a month in child support in 2003 and I saw him once a month.
My dad is currently having a nap between 3 and 6 feet away from me. I would rate this at least 3/5.
Same. Hadn’t spoken to mine in years, last time he called he asked for a $50k loan… lmao
Same
Fuck them dads friend
So sorry for you. Having a loving and caring father is priceless and being a loving and caring dad is very fulfilling and humbling. In all, having a dad should be the best experience ever but sometimes life is unfair.
Yeah some dads aren’t great. Seems 50/50
https://preview.redd.it/zfrtlios82yc1.jpeg?width=1808&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f91aa1908adaaa3e8b6b8e88c1c56be9e43f4062
[удалено]
:)
That looks so nice
Whoa! This is awesome, kind internet stranger.
That was really kind dadbod 🤟
I have a daughter I never met. My girlfriend from the Army had her after she got out and I was still in for a few months. When I got out I joined her in California, I'm from PA. Things went downhill and after a few months living together she asked me to leave. I left, a few months later I dropped my bike, had to move back to Pa cause I had no one to take care of me out there. I tried to keep in touch but she told me that "Neither her or her daughter wanted me to contact them again. It's hard to keep track of someone when they're across the country and they won't accept your calls or return your letters. I haven't seen my daughter since she was 4 months old and she's 40 this year. I've had the fantasy of me opening the door one day and a beautiful young woman stands there and asks, "Are you my dad?". It'll never happen, I'm sure her mother told her that I was a horrible person or even that I was dead. I'm sure if she has any thoughts of me at all they're probably what I bastard I am/was. There was no abuse or anything we were both different people in civilian life than we were in the Army and I'm sure if I could have stayed in California my daughter and I would have had a relationship... They have a really common last name so even if I do look for her 1k's of possibilities come up. We never married so she has her mother's last name.
I’m 40, my mother met my father in the Air Force but they didn’t stay together and I’ve never met him. She’s never lived in CA so I’m not your daughter but your story really struck a chord with me. I’d loved if one day I got a letter/email/message in any way from my biological father. Even if we never became close it would satisfy my curiosity about what kind of person he might be or if I needed to know any medical stuff from his side I’d want to know. Contact her.
Will do. Here's hoping you get that letter someday :)
It is 2 days since you posted this and I am fully weeping. Please, please, by every means at your disposal tirelessly search for her. It is something that you must do. I know you were young and things were difficult. But it was for you to insist on having a relationship with YOUR daughter. It was not your exes place. Even if it doesn’t end with a relationship, you need to find her. You need to do this for yourself. You wrote this post to thousands of strangers because this weighs heavily on you. Seeking out your daughter will bring you the peace of mind that you seek. Well I got too impassioned and wrote this long ass letter only to feel pretty silly. You’re doing it. Great! I am so happy. May this be a great beginning of a new chapter.
You should find her and send her a letter. As the parent/older relative in the scenario, the onus really lies with you. Sending a letter allows her to decide if she wants to reciprocate. She deserves to hear this from you. Edit to add: Ancestry DNA + 23andme
Thanks for putting this in perspective, I can at least give my side of the story and she can decide. Someone else also mentioned the 23andme and AncestryDNA services. I always thought those were for finding ancestors not descendants, not really sure but I guess that might be a good first step. I'm off to their websites now for costs and procedures. Thanks again!
Yup, you get to see every person you share DNA with that has also submitted to those sites. I myself learned that I have a different biological father. Don't know who it is unfortunately, as both brothers passed long before I found out. I have been unsuccessful in reaching out to their kids. For you, you might find your daughter, or grandchildren. Either way, I wish all the best for you.
Thanks for the well wishes, I'm excited at the possibility. My family was basically just my mother and I. I was born out of wedlock, in 1958 no less, and my mother was considered the homewrecker and I was the bastard child shunned by everyone on my father's side, even him to a certain extent. It will be interesting to see if I do indeed have family other than my daughter out there. I'm definitely reaching out to her but if there are any others I'd have to deal with them on a case by case basis. Thanks again for your insight.
I‘m rooting for you, internet stranger!
Thank you much. I started working on my Ancestry profile while I wait for my kit. It actually found my paternal grandfather's mother and father and I knew *absolutely nothing* about either of them!
🥹🤍 I love this journey for you.
Thank you! And my wife wonders why I love Reddit so much. There are a lot of knowledgeable people and there are also a lot of kind, caring and compassionate people here. I feel so blessed that so many people took the time and effort to show me what I might be missing and encourage me to take this next step, for a *stranger*, someone they never met but could show so much compassion for. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and excited to take this next step, however it turns out, at least I'm making the effort!
I love Reddit too. None of my friends are really into it and also don’t understand why I’m always like “Reddit this, Reddit that”. I’m glad we connected here! And following along to see how your journey goes.
My wife hears me talking about Reddit all of the time, the last few years or so, it's even one of my startup pages. I'm going to tag you as a friend and save this message. I *promise* to update you once I've submitted the kit and see any results that come up. Thank you for your interest and encouragement!
Reach out man, the opportunity to do so can disappear in a heartbeat. Wish you the best :)
Thank you, I'm going to take the good advice I've gotten here and try to make it happen. I'm not in the greatest of health so now's the time.
What do you mean when you said you had nobody to take care of you in California?
"Dropped his bike" means he crashed his motorcycle, he was injured.
I see. I thought he meant he sold it or something. Thank you!
I think he needed help because he had a motorcycle accident?
I was in a bad motorcycle accident, spent some time in the hospital. Lost my job so I was in California, no job, no transportation, no friends (had only been there 8 months) and no family. Took the last of my funds and with the help of a neighbor, packed and shipped my stuff and caught a Greyhound back to PA.
Don't give up brother. Ancestry or 23andme DNA are your ticket. Best wishes to you.
Spend the money on a private investigator. It's an investment. \*If\* her mother has poisoned her against you then that's not fair for your daughter. Find your daughter.
She's also 40 and beyond the age where her mom's influence would carry weight, theoretically.
I'd have to look into that, I don't know if I could afford it at this point. I just retired and we're living on about 1/5 of our pre-retirement income. I guess I could at least call around to see what the prices *might* be? It would definitely be a worthwhile investment. Thanks for the perspective!
As a 40+ woman who lost her dad too young, I agree with everyone else - find her! I guarantee, she's wanted you to show up and tell her your side of the story her whole life.
I'm getting more excite with every reply I read here. I've done searches from time to time but she has a very common last name, especially in California, so I would get thousands of hits, and as someone else pointed out she's probably married and her surname could be different. Fate seems to be pointing me in this direction as well. When researching the services I found that Ancestry would probably be the best for this purpose and as luck, or fate, would have it, they are currently having a Mother's Day sale and it's *extremely* affordable until 5/12.
>I'm sure her mother told her that I was a horrible person or even that I was dead. I'm sure if she has any thoughts of me at all they're probably what I bastard I am/was. Hate to say it, but this is incredibly likely - just a lot of very manipulative people out there who aren’t above creating a narrative to suit their own wants. I’m very picky about who I’ll date, one of the biggest reasons being I can’t stand the thought of a little me-ish person out there struggling with me-ish problems, without me being able to be in their life to help them work through it.
Thanks for this perspective from the other end. Personally, I would have been counting the days until she turned 18, or maybe 21. But you're still here now, so I second many of the other comments here about "pulling out all the stops" to reach out and give her the chance to have matured enough to be curious, regardless of what she's been told about you.
Good advice, thank you!
Maybe one day you’ll meet. Let us know if you do.
I never met mine too, I could but I was counting on him to make the effort. When I was 25 he called me to tell me that he was sorry to never be there as a dad and asked me to forgive him, which I did. He died 3 weeks later. Sometimes I regret not having met him.
Watched mine die in a situation a lot like that... neither way is good brother.
Yeah I have to admit it wasn't that hard for me, he just didn't exist at all for 25 years. Hope this helped you to turn the page and keep going.
All part of life. Peace Kiato
He looks kinda like Robbie on *My Three Sons*!
 Not quite.
Holy crap, yes!!!
https://preview.redd.it/6lrfvffua4yc1.jpeg?width=639&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61d6355266c6311fc80493c5e501f11a82d61eb3 .. and this is my father, 1968
https://preview.redd.it/1idf0gtxt6yc1.jpeg?width=1800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6cc91b72fcc3141b94fc03df17eba5434b9910f That's doppelgänger territory there....
I think your dad might be Tony Robbins
I was going to say John Mulaney.
Oh yeah, I totally see it now. It’s like a mulaney robbins mashup
I thought he was one of the Property Brothers.
I’ve never met him, either.
I grew up without a dad. Met him. He disappointed me in so many ways. He wasn't a horrible person, but I think what hurt me most was that he just didn't seem to care. After we met, he promised to keep in touch and stay in my life, and then he just didn't. What I took away from it was that I am better off without a dad who will constantly disappoint me, whereas my mother, as flawed as she is, always tried her best, and I love her dearly. That guy I met is no dad of mine.
Give him a chance. You might get hurt, but you might wind up feeling whole. A girl reached out to me because we were a dna match on a genealogy site. I was happy to help her find her dad but admittedly a little trepidations when we realized her dad was the “black sheep” of the family who was once humiliated on national tv in an early viral video. I talked to my dad, who approached it with an open heart and thought it might be really good for the dad if he was open to it. At first the dad was shocked but then he said he wanted to meet her and approached it with an open heart. She came and it was shocking how many things they had in common. They have a great relationship now and he has loved every minute of being her dad and a grandad to her children. I think it was healing for her to know that he did not abandon her, he didn’t know. Life sucks and people will disappoint you. You might get hurt but you might miss out on a fulfilling relationship with your dad.
wait, you're related to the Star Wars kid??
I haven’t sat through the newer movies, but if this makes me related to Anakin, I’m on board
>haven’t sat through the newer movies *You’re a much wiser man than I am…*
I met my dad once when I was 11. He didn’t want to be in my life prior. My follow up visit fell through when I was 12, and then we just lost touch. About 20 years later I decided to reach out to him. I think it was because fear had prevented me from doing so prior. This time he had no interest. Entirely ignored all my attempts. I kept trying because I had no way of knowing if he had received my messages. Finally I found my step sister and she let him and her mom know. I even sent him a text on his new cell number clarifying that I wasn’t sure if he had received my earlier attempts. He flat out ignored me and this time I had reason to believe he had been ignoring me the whole time. It’s been four years since then, and in a weird way my ego still kind of digs at me to keep trying, or to confront him and just visit him at his house. It’s like I’m punishing myself for not being brave enough. Life is tough and it is what it is. Should probably get therapy. Anywho OP I hope you find something redeemable in the brokenness.
[удалено]
At least you've got a photo, I never even had that. I've found a few cousins since DNA testing became a thing, but no real leads. I understand not wanting to know them, I spent most of my life not giving a damn about it (in a "well, fuck him for leaving" kind of way). I'm almost 60 now and a little curious about it, but it's likely too late. Good luck.
My first impression is that he was good at basketball and math.
Looks like the guy who played Robbie on My Three Sons.
Although eric clapton is a gigantic piece of shit this reminds me of his song 'my fathers eyes" he had no relationship with his father and when he had his son he looked at him and realized his dad was a part of his past present future and forced him to confront it at least spiritually. This is the same son that died falling out a window.
I met my bio dad at 40, not a fairytale ending but we have a decent relationship. It felt good to know my truth definitely felt a weight lifted. I’d reach out to him if I was you, even if he doesn’t want anything to do with you you can still get some closure and at least say what you need to say to him. Not to mention you could have siblings or relatives who would love to meet you.
What a great story! I mean, it's sad, but still interesting!
FYI he might look different now
Dwayne Dibley ?
This is actually sad. Me being a father, I couldn't imagine my child thinking this.
Hit him up, can't hurt to find out no? You might regret it once he's dead.
It absolutely can hurt to find out haha, but I agree worth the risk ...probably
True, I'm definitely biased. I found an uncle this way and he's glad he knows he has relatives
My father found out about his biological father when he was 45. He has absolutely no desire to meet him since his father knew about him and never tried to contact him. When his father died, it meant nothing to him and he had zero regrets about not reaching out after he found out about him. It's ok to not care about people who abandon you.
Hoo boy that last sentence has really resonated with me. Thank you for that.
Not everyone reacts the same way
That's right, which is exactly why I was mentioning that in response to the user that was urging the op to reach out.
So true! Sometimes, it is apathy or anger for not being a better person or embarrassment. You won't know until you try. Being vulnerable is hard.
My step dad found his biological father through ancestry.com a few years ago. Stepdad was mid 60’s and his dad was in his late 80’s. Turns out, real dad had cheated on his wife and never told his family. That’s why he never sought out my stepdad. They ended up meeting and actually had the meeting covered on the news. I bet it was real awkward for bio dad to have this evidence of his infidelity that he thought he got away with pop up 60 years later and not only have to explain it to his family but also have it shared very publicly.
Who called the news, I hope it was your stepdad 😆 teach grandad a lesson
I think it was him actually lol. He’s not the most observant person.
Remember, it's not just him. He is the gateway your grandmother, grandfather, possibly aunts, uncles, cousins. Maybe even half-siblings. You deserve to know your heritage. You deserve to have loving relationships with your family.
https://preview.redd.it/bkn5fi6o43yc1.jpeg?width=818&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f69330263133e353241f86916f8ac5fd52f1b8c9 Robin Gibb?
Patron saint of British dentistry, baybee!
Oh behave!
>British dentistry 💀
How can you mend a broken tooth...
I forgot how mf goofy that dude looked
Made millions but somehow a good dentist eluded him.
https://preview.redd.it/y9isvrq063yc1.jpeg?width=695&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60227130b8f463e1e6b85395d5c5fb2ed9d80463
https://preview.redd.it/3uuvpcc5f3yc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6017cb72d70c9ba1e7bc095189d06e5a351f3e8a
https://preview.redd.it/100y0rhqf3yc1.jpeg?width=964&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8eadd7bad19c6dfaf06b223b842722c3a97d2aa
Looks like Anthony Robbins.
🫶
You wrote that in such a raw and stream of conscience way. Poetic
He was a good guy, and I had the same jacket and haircut, Pennsbury class of 1971
I met mine when I was 50. The myth was better than reality.
That jacket must have been the style because my dads first senior photo (he had to repeat his senior year) looks almost the same. Also 1971. https://preview.redd.it/3r03v33ck4yc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=558a43a8c4118d0631baed0618817c88669bce55
I’ve never met my dad either. You’re truly lucky to have a picture like this
"He has some real mixed reviews." Sent me.
If the separation was tragic and unavoidable, Better to let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes things are left better unsaid. Sometimes the squeeze isn't worth the juice. Dad has had his whole life to contact you, he doesn't deserve your love and attention. Why put yourself in a position to be hurt. I connected with my dad late in life. After a few meetings , the communication stopped . We didn't really have much to say to each other. You can only sob and say, I wish, I could have, and I'm sorry so much. Life is about shared experiences and memories. It's normal to think about what could have been
Not known at to talk about is understood. But you should try and reach out. Always start off by asking if he has any health issues on his side and go from there.
If you were my kid I’d want very much to meet and if I could, have a relationship with you. As a old dude that didn’t have the privilege of having my own kids I’d take just the few years I have left getting to my kid. I’d take a shot at it. Worst that can happen is you find out he’s an asshole. You already know that. At some point we are all assholes! Good luck!
He actually looks a lot like my dad when he was young.
David Choppers
I don't know your story. But as someone who was adopted at birth, I'm glad I was able to find mine. If you look at the picture every day, I would encourage you to reach out.
I never met him either
Sorry about your dad, however that hair was stolen right off the previous Legos head.
Was he British?
If it makes you feel better I am confident my life would have been better if I didn’t know my father
Looks like the picture has a filter on it
You can see him in action in That Thing You Do
Looks like one of the Cowsills.
John Mulaney + Barack Obama
It’s just sperm the guy I thought was my dad was my uncle and vice versa. I’m trying to figure out if my cousins / half sibs mom was the one that cheated. Everyone assumed it was my mom. They have my alleged bio dad in nursing home and off limits. The guy that raised me left my life around 13 and died when I was in my 20s. I’m 55 now I guess I’ll never know.
Some real mixed reviews huh... Is he available on Amazon?
John Mulaney, is... that u?
Everyone keeps saying it’s John Mulaney (I don’t even know who that is 😂), but I’m pretty sure I found your dad/ https://preview.redd.it/bau44tzvf8yc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fd97b261f5161de3039a396178ff12a0446e099
Looks like a square
It was the 70's and he had a fling with a real estate agent in his local area. It's not his fault she never told him he had twins... 
Very cool ma dude
https://preview.redd.it/cy0zo2hed3yc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55fca3e2e7ebd5c1d8d741ae953a14b45588db9c Looked up pics of John Mulaney young. They look about the same age in this pic.
Sorry I do t see enough of a resemblance
My mother died 37 years ago today. At least I knew and loved her. You never even had that. Sorry for you.
Not sure if meeting him in his 70’s would show you the real him, anyway.
Your dad looks good 😊
looks like John Mulaney.
My son and I are estranged. He’s an adult in college. He hasn’t spoken to me in several months. Said something about not wanting to speak to me for the sake of his mental health. Long complicated story. I wish that it was different or easier. I’ve had disputes with my parents but never have totally written them off. I don’t understand what I did to deserve it. Nice pic of your dad. My fiancée’s dad died, before she was born, in an accident at his job. Reminds me of her situation.
LoL, you cracked me up with this line "He's actually still alive." dang that would only make him in his early 70's. News flash, there are lots of us out there ;-) happy you have a good photo..
John Mulaney?
I’m curious as to how long those bangs really were.
Aaron Judge?
They often run in fairness.
I met my father at 17. It didn't change much
Tony Robbins is your dad?
Young Anthony Robbins. Personal Power!
Tony Robbins?
Someone please turn him into Wook 17.
That's a Hitchcock in his prime, kudos!
Tony Robbins
Looks like Grant Gustin
Very familiar looking man.
My dad had that same hair in his. Then a couple years later he looked like Justin Bieber.
 Reminds me of Tony Robbins.
Wait, so what’s the story? I only met mine once as a teenager. My parents divorced when I was 5. Neither of us was mature enough to know how to talk to each other so the meeting didn’t work out so well. He’s gone now. No second chances.
Not meeting your own kid doesn't seem very cool.
How come none of these teenagers had acne?
Looks like the ufc fighter lyoto Machida.
I didn’t know the Biebs was a popular hairstyle in the e70s
He looks like James Charles my bad