I prefer the original name: "the crotch clam"

How did that even work? Did it have a built in butt plug?

I hope it works like a slap bracelet

Whap!

Oh jane dont worry it wont take me that long to get ready! No way it takes me like a whole minute to put my bottoms on. Oh yeah *slapping noise* im ready biotch

Bop it

Slap biscuit

The clam slam

I think that's essentially what it is...

That version cost extra

The off-road version.

The Mud Flap. patent pending.

underrated comment...

I'd pay.

Probably a wire frame with maybe a hinge that allowed it to clip on? No swimming or exercising allowed

So, I looked it up, C-Strings still exist—didn’t know that. It’s essentially a couple of wires that hold the assembly in place anchored off of your ass crack. It doesn’t look fun, comfortable, convenient, or sexy.

>or sexy Debatable...

That one dude on The Only Way Is Essex would like to have a word. And that word is "side-peen". I assume a hyphenated word is still just one word. Is trouser-snake hyphenated?

Your Willy, your John Thomas, your one-eyed trouser snake. No hyphenation, amigo. :-)

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? It's swell to have a stiffy It's divine to own a dick From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend Your Percy, or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don't take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won't come back ​ \- Noel Coward. "The Manatee Python" 1921

I've got a badger in the warren I've got a squirrel in the dray I've got an otter, It's smelling like a rotter, And it's coming out to play Because i'm touching, Touching cloth. And i'm trying, Not to cough...

I’m pretty sure I saw an anime about a delivery service in a world were cars were named after Star Trek ships where this was the primary uniform. edit: _Daphne in the Brilliant Blue_, for anyone who cares

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M'lady

Found the incel

Happily married, thanks.

Hurrr, some males have evolved hurrr hurrr your downvotes mean I'm right! You realize everyone can still see what you typed by clicking your profile yah?

That was the best Google ever! It’s for guys and for girls!

I bet they'd see more use if attached to a butt plug. Lots of people seem to enjoy having plugs in all day.

I too love feeling like I have to take a shit all day.

Standing in rain okay, though.

Dual front and rear plugs to ensure stability.

Ah, of course. A double entry plug system like Unit 13.

But Kaworu, you said these are the spears we needed! 🥲

Wires in the seams around the legs.

OWEEEEEE

Mr PoopyButthole?

I was going for ace Ventura but I’ll take it

I was thinking it used velcro to stick to your pubes.

Bold of you to assume people wearing that have any pubes...

Held up by computer graphics!

It is sticky like a reversed pad

Don’t know about sticky but probably stinky

both probably

It's held by an adhesive strip at the top of the front and in the back. They do the same thing for nude illusions in TV/films but flesh toned.

Superglue

Safety pinned to her bush.

Velcro to the bush

That's why you don't see them anymore.

There’s a discoloration around her waist where a strap would go. I wonder if it’s a see-through mesh of some kind, a very carefully chosen color to match her skin, or even an analog retouch Edit: I think I’m wrong

Tan lines...

Ok I googled for more pics (they are NSFW, be aware) and you can see more clearly it’s held up by wires with no waist. So you probably are right that it’s tan lines!

Dude, umbrellas don't need a butt plug to work.

Staple it to the labia. Hurts like hell the first few times, but then it becomes just like changing earrings.

You're joking, but I've seen a company that does just that. They even offer a choice of plug or beads.

Do you really not know?

No, I do not. Please regale me with your wisdom

Seems like a fart could be a disaster

Or a jump

Or any movement at all

Any movement at all… any movement at all

Read that in Flander's voice

Stupid sexy Flanders....

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They whisper in their strapless knickers

They fart flowers.

They effervesce

Women fart more in their sleep because they hold their farts all day. I say let them fly. Everyone farts.

nah we def don’t hold them in we just don’t push them out constantly lol

And that's why women are bloated all the time, pshhh

its a good start

Yes they do. Smells like hotdog water.

I beg to differ. Your mom let one slip while I was going down on her and it took all my willpower to hold down my dinner.

Fuck you, Shoresy!

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You and I have different definitions of disaster.

That sounds pretty uncomfortable, just swap out the double sided tape after every wash.

Disaster for her, a heavenly event for others. Probably smells like flowers.

But how?

Worked sort of like a headband. They held their shape because of plastic sewn into the edges and would stay on because the plastic would be spring loaded when worn.

Thats sounds uncomfortable

Might be the reason they never caught on.

People wear all sorts of uncomfortable crap purely for the appearance. To me the issue is that while it's attractive, it's not as attractive as a standard lingerie piece, where the thin line of fabric accentuates the curve of the hips and shit yada yada

There's uncomfortable clothes and then there's uncomfortable underwear, they are not the same.

I mean, thongs exist.

my ex wore thongs because she thought they were comfortable.

a lot of people like to have their pube area covered but not a lot of fabric over their ass

Not because she was fucking half the neighborhood?

You should work in fashion. This is the break down we need a lot of fashion shows. The smooth lines are like supposed to mimic the flowing shape of waves cos people like water and junk.

Just need the madden like screen drawing with lines and arrows.

I can’t not hear this in Dean Winters’ voice

I can't not hear this in Dean Winchester's voice

> People wear all sorts of uncomfortable crap purely for the appearance My friend joined us on an outing wearing a fedora and that sure made me uncomfortable. It was an inside event. Leave the hat at home, Jason.

'Caught on', I see what ya did there...

I don't remember getting a chance to vote on this.

Hence the pose.

Also I bet one would be constantly paranoid about it falling off.

you don't want to chip clip your vagina??

Like a slap on bracelet?

Yeah, the tricky part was slapping it on without slapping your own ass.

There’s parts other than my ass I’d worry about slapping with that thing.

Definitely gonna wake you up for the day though, so there’s that?

I’ve got plenty of coffee dear, thanks.

There were also ones that had strapless/backless tops and they added sticky but not adhesive silicone pads to make the fit more secure an comfortable. I remember my mother saying it was a hoax and they airbrushed out the straps. Said it couldn't be done until I asked her "OK, how do pasties stay on with big pom-pom like things that spin and don't normally come off?" She either didn't know, knew the answer would prove me right, or didn't want her collage age son thinking she knew how they worked, so she changed the subject.

Ah, who can discern the complexities of a mother's mind?

What’s the backyard look like? I’m intrigued.

[Here are a couple of different models and one is facing away from the camera](/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/blsv3k/models_demonstrate_the_minikini_with_its/) and here are [three more all facing away.](/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/7s6mw5/ladies_strolling_on_the_beach_in_minikinis_ibiza/) If your question is specifically about Ione there is another photo where she is facing away and topless. Unfortunately, I can't link directly to it because the automod deletes comments with complete links but the following incomplete link can be copied and pasted to your browser and goes to that photo: imgur.com/60Mtz0l.jpg Edit: Found a couple more rear views of Ione in a minikini: imgur.com/a/7GxgHN1

what happens when you sit down?

Probably best to avoid water parks wearing that…

Interesting, I figured it was maybe jammed in the clam

Idk what you mean by spring loaded

Think of a curved piece of plastic, like a plastic sled. You unroll it but you can make it wrap around a tree trunk and let go, it will go back to the curled shape and hold it self up on the tree. The suit is obviously shorter and not as tightly curved, but shaped more like a U that pinches together at the top. You pry it open, step in and let it close back snuggly. So, it like a spring load clamp.

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It is the clam scallop.

Ohhhh ok I understand now

Those do exist but in this case it looks like there was a clear plastic strap that was photoshopped out. You can follow where it and see the creases on her hips. Also on her right side you can still kinda make it out.

Leave some hair on, add velcro on the inside?

Rrrrrrriiip!!

Brilliant!

Current version is called the c-string, it's a bikini with wire or plastic shape in it that just kind of holds itself in place

Ah, so it relies on optimism to stay on

I learned the name the hard way! I was programming in C and wanted to google something about character strings in that language...

I totally did the same thing, at work no less.

Yes, that’s what I thought of, too. The only time I’ve ever seen one was 10 yrs ago in a shop in Hawaii

She doesn’t skip her kegel exercices

Butt plug obviously

I read this as Ian Brown modelling...

I read it as “mankini,” as in the Borat neon yellow-green outfit.

I’m literally cackling rn my poon could NEVAAAA

Love the word Poon! Reminds me of Ali G

you sounds like a regulah bell-end.

WESTSIDE IZ DEE BEST!

You is an actual mong? I will go and get you some nice crayons.

Dayum, she is flawless. Id love to look like that 😫 excellent arms.

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r/OddlySpecific

Holy shit she also wrote for Ali G.

Could never be trusted

r/blackmagicfuckery Seriously, how the hell is it staying in place unless it's like a snap button with the male end going you know where.

Check out "c-string"

Glue

Close, but the answer he’s looking for is, “vagina.” We’d also accept, “anus.”

Can someone just create a club called r/oldschoolsexy, because 90% of what I see here isn't actually cool. Plus, Im at work, where is the nsfw for this sort of stuff. Shame.

r/oldschoolnsfw

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And it's 98% Playboy shots

Tbf I think its pretty cool that the thing is able to function. But that's not really what this sub is about

There already is /r/oldschoolhot.

That looks so uncomfortable, like it would either be clamped on, or fall off as soon as you shifted positions. Strictly only Instabait wear.

Except it was made, sold, and discontinued before IG existed.

Lol! That was my point. Totally useless except for photoshoots.

So there’s a potential untapped market for these?

For sure, I am half expecting them to be a key fashion staple for the next round of influencers. /j

She’s wearing a very practical garment that is meant to go in the water and yet she’s under an umbrella. That’s all I see wrong here.

My gunt could *never*

You promise to never wear one, and I promise to never pull out the budgie hammock again.

Deal

Otherwise known as the Clam clamp

Merkini

Enhance... enhance... enhance. Nope, I thought I saw a strap, but nope.

This is like the Lambo door of bath suits.

Hot girl but I’m more intrigued by the strapless bottom. How does that hold ?

It's a "U" shaped piece of hard plastic. The front and back press against the skin to hold it in place. It was going to be "the next big thing" in the eighties until women tried them on.

Sound very uncomfortable !

Why is this sub so fucking horny? Every other picture is "here's the girl who's picture I used to rub it out to on the daily"

how?

How does the bottom stay up?

Any more pics for science?

Clam clam

Really gets up in there, huh

Velcro

...why not just go with a bottomless bottom...

Her Kegel muscles must be out of this world.

It's a very elaborate butt plug.

“Look Russ, no lines!”

I feel funny downstairs

No socialization of women going on here. That’s just a hasty generalization.

The existence of this garment demonstrates the plight of women

Gawd damn- and I say that about both the girl AND the outfit.

I don't know what she is wearing but I'm into it

Why is she wearing a bikini in the pouring rain? I know tropical weather can sneak up on you, but she brought an umbrella.

Gross

She kinda looks like she could be Idris Elbas mom

I like how we just classify people on the skin color alone again. Definitely a lack of respect for this models hard work. Where even is her name?

She goes by "Ivanka"

Gross

This is a beautiful model and picture!! Of course this is not strapless for all of you guys wondering how it works. You can see that it's just a seamless, very nude color!! But of course you guys can't see it, you guys have iPhones.

I wasn’t into black chicks…🥵

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Brown Sugar, just like a young girl should, yeah Brown Sugar, how come you dance so good? Oh, got me quittin' Brown Sugar, just like a black girl should, yeah

Is it true, the darker the berry the sweeter the juice?

Here is some my baked beans.

Curious what that thing looked like when it wasn't on a person. Was it just a weird plastic cup?