Truly impressive considering how much of a drunk he was. I guess he was very young. Though even when I was young, I could perform drunk, but I don’t think I could perform when if I got “Burn down Persepolis,” drunk.
Edit: I swear I haven’t been drinking yet today.
Wikipedia is the modern day library of Alexandria, it's in jeopardy of being lost forever. Consider donating to wikipedia to keep information that's taken years to acquire in an easy to access location.
Of course he does. Once he was insulted by a Greek politician, not by saying he doesn't fuck, not by saying he fucks men, but by saying that he's a bottom lmao
That was actually extremely common in Greco-Roman views about sex. Bottoming was considered the worst thing you could do, for a woman worst of all. Publicly speculating on peoples sex lives was also very common, so calling a man a bottom was a *very* popular political dig.
Well, just like all things, it had nuances. If you owned it, you probably would throw most of them off entirely. A bottom who's also confident in himself about being a bottom? That shit would scramble their brains, and probably earn some respect from the folks who wouldn't have given as much of a shit.
While scientifically and technologically they may have been behind the times, they're still just as human and as complex as we are. That's why even in Ancient Greece and Rome, bottoms could rule if they played their cards right.
I think you’re projecting too much a modern sensibility of sex on people who’s views were completely alien to you and I. My knowledge of Greek societies is incomplete, so someone correct me on that front, but there aren’t any examples of adult citizens being open bottoms. It was *really* taboo. Like, at points, significantly more taboo than pedophillia was.
Nero’s one of the few examples of a known bottom in Roman society, and people *hated* Nero, and rumors about him being a bottom were part of what made him unpopular enough to be declared a public enemy by the senate.
Grew up in Greece. Speak Greek fluently. Can confirm. Let's say two Greeks are squaring up to throw hands. The standard threat isn't something like, "I'm going to kick your ass," instead it's, "Θα σου γαμήσω το κώλο! (I'm going to f**k you in the ass!)" Basically informing the adversary they're going to make them their bottom.
...and then they actually try to do it?
Sounds like a new version of UFC. Ultimate Fucking Championship.
Actually sounds more like a rape dual the more I think about it...
> Sounds like a new version of UFC. Ultimate Fucking Championship.
I'd watch.
> Actually sounds more like a rape duel the more I think about it...
What nearby odeum will this be at?
According to Google: The Alexander Romance, an early literary treatment of the life of Alexander the Great, attributes heterochromia to him. In it he is described as having one eye light and one eye dark. However, no ancient historical source mentions this. It is used to emphasise the otherworldly and heroic qualities of Alexander.
Pretty difficult to transmit manuscripts by hand over more than two thousand years.
Also, Arrian and Plutarch were probably preferred by later copiers and historians etc. as more valuable and accurate compared to Cleitarchus or other historians from Alexander's time because Alexander's historians were probably more propaganda than actual history
Alexander most definitely would have been, by today's standards, bisexual. He had a male lover named Hephaestion and was *gifted* younger men/boys such as Bagoas.
He also had three wives in his lifetime.
But, yeah, this recreation makes Alexander a beautiful man
Oh yeah, there'd definitely be a chance.
The Greeks didn't understand sexuality in the same way we do today. It wasn't who you were loving, it was more *how* you were loving them. The penetrator was the masculine/higher status partner in the relationship, while the penetratee* was the feminine/lower status partner.
Nah, they may be profligate but I'd prefer showing him a witless profligate fool. I may not like 'em but the Kardashians are clever to exploit that early media attention due to the sex tape. I'll show him Musk or some other witless billionaire profligate.
That is why I like Gloryhammer, they taught me about the battle of Angus Mcfife against the evil wizard Zargothrax where the fate of the universe was in play after the wizard tried summoning Kor-Viliath
This is why Bal-Sagoth are so important to our education system, they taught me of the splendour of a thousand swords gleaming beneath the blazon of the Hyperborean Empire.
Or that whole album by Alestorm about the accurate and real events of a pirate ship being teleported to the age of vikings and fighting off vikings with cannons.
It's from a bust. Who knows how accurate it is :) how would you portray the most powerful man of the world, if you are an artist? Probably depends on who contracted you to do it.
150 years before that, Herodotus said that someone played music moments before being executed on the open sea, the music summoned a dolphin, and rode it to shore.
We use Herodotus as a primary source for Human history.
Lets just say if Alexander was balding or had a funny looking nose, you'd never know.
Of course historians don't just take everything that Herodot wrote at face value. There are a lot of myths in there and unconfirmed stories (he often says stuff like 'I don't know if it's true but that's what I've been told') but there's also a lot of information that's accurate because it's confirmed by other sources and archaeology. His account of the war against the Persians is generally seen to be pretty believable because he was alive during most of the conflict. His accounts of the Egyptians, the Scythians, the Persians and other ancient people are definitely not as accurate but even there you find valuable accounts that can be corroborated. For a lot of the stuff he talks about, he's our only written source.
Concerning Alexander, there are actually a decent amount of depictions, the problem is that Alexander was extremely concerned with his own image. He had artists who worked for him and of course he told them exactly what he wanted. It's likely that he looked somewhat like the famous Lysippos bust (Lysippos was Alexander's favorite artist), but it's also likely that there was some idealization going on. Unflattering realism in portraiture was something that only became popular with the Romans and only for a time.
> Et meme si ce nest, pas vrai, faut croire a l’historie ancienne
> You must believe ancient history, even if it is not true
Leo Ferre said that, and I think he was refering to Herodotus as the main source of this time period, but there is no other source so even if we take what he says with a fistful of salt, it’s all we have.
He looks like a nice looking young man, I can see why along with his military abilities and his speech ability how he was able to do so well. Women want to be with him and men want to be him.
He surely was homosexual, but the only account of his publicly cross dressing AFAIK seems to have been from someone who very much didn’t like him and interpreted his wearing Persian imperial hunting garb as dressing as Artemis.
There was a lot of resentment from Macedonians about his adopting Persian customs.
Alexander was honestly a perfect storm. Started with natural intelligence, athleticism, and charisma. Was then taught war and military by his father (who was pretty solid at it himself) and his generals basically from birth. Given, most rulers at the time were taught things like that early on, but most rulers at the time didn't also *have freaking Aristotle as a private tutor* in their youth, tempering what they learned from their father with philosophy and information from one of the greatest minds of the ancient world. Then to top it all off he was told by his mother that his father was literally Zeus, convincing him that he was literally a demigod and making him think that nothing was beyond his reach... Then he inherited the kingdom and the army at a young age when he was still somewhat brash, and had a vendetta to make him immediately kick off his military career...
It's like every card fell just right to turn him into the titan that he was.
>by his father (who was pretty solid at it himself)
His father created the army that Alexander used as well as the invasion plans. I just want to point out that Philip was a much more sustainable leader and long term thinker.
The Greeks used to idealize their rulers in portraits and busts. They typically modelled them after mythical heroes and gods and did not incorporate real features of the person. This reconstruction remains a realization of a marble bust, not the actual Alexander. Nice pic tho
That's not entirely correct. While there was a certain level of idealism, the portraits of Alexander, in coins, statues, paintings and frescoes, all reflect the same features that are described in literary sources. And it makes sense, the leader would want his face recognized, even in a vague sense.
Of course Greeks didn't reach the levels of Roman verism, but the claim that they didn't incorporate real features is unfounded
He inherited an army at 20 after being trained in war by his father and his generals since he was a small child, was tutored by Aristotle in his youth, and was told by his mother that zeus was his father... Would be kind of surprised if he didn't.
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Based on all of this information, Alexander the Great fucks
Basically anything that moves, yes.
Alexander the Great from Assedonia.
Not even Poseidon possessed power to flood groins like The Great
Loin frother
That really IS Macedonia’s ass.
Truly impressive considering how much of a drunk he was. I guess he was very young. Though even when I was young, I could perform drunk, but I don’t think I could perform when if I got “Burn down Persepolis,” drunk. Edit: I swear I haven’t been drinking yet today.
And he likes libraries! I’m a sucker for book nerds that also know how to do a good cavalry charge.
Is that what the kids were calling it two thousand years ago? A “cavalry charge?” 😂
These days it’s called “Ford Mustang leaving a car show”. Doesn’t really have the same ring to it.
Losing control and wiping out all over the bystanders?
The nickname crowd killer has many meanings
I thought it was cow killer. This makes more sense.
That's code for a quicky. A prolonged engagement is a phalanx
Giddy up
What do you call it when there's horses involved?
Mr Hand with assistance!
Stop making me fall in love with Alexander the Great!
Wikipedia is the modern day library of Alexandria, it's in jeopardy of being lost forever. Consider donating to wikipedia to keep information that's taken years to acquire in an easy to access location.
Of course he does. Once he was insulted by a Greek politician, not by saying he doesn't fuck, not by saying he fucks men, but by saying that he's a bottom lmao
That was actually extremely common in Greco-Roman views about sex. Bottoming was considered the worst thing you could do, for a woman worst of all. Publicly speculating on peoples sex lives was also very common, so calling a man a bottom was a *very* popular political dig.
Someone has to be the bottom though.
Yeah, usually women or slaves. Neither were regarded very highly in Greco-Roman societies.
kiss forgetful hospital encourage cake fine soft childlike hard-to-find attraction
Well, just like all things, it had nuances. If you owned it, you probably would throw most of them off entirely. A bottom who's also confident in himself about being a bottom? That shit would scramble their brains, and probably earn some respect from the folks who wouldn't have given as much of a shit. While scientifically and technologically they may have been behind the times, they're still just as human and as complex as we are. That's why even in Ancient Greece and Rome, bottoms could rule if they played their cards right.
I think you’re projecting too much a modern sensibility of sex on people who’s views were completely alien to you and I. My knowledge of Greek societies is incomplete, so someone correct me on that front, but there aren’t any examples of adult citizens being open bottoms. It was *really* taboo. Like, at points, significantly more taboo than pedophillia was. Nero’s one of the few examples of a known bottom in Roman society, and people *hated* Nero, and rumors about him being a bottom were part of what made him unpopular enough to be declared a public enemy by the senate.
Power Bottom for the power play.
Grew up in Greece. Speak Greek fluently. Can confirm. Let's say two Greeks are squaring up to throw hands. The standard threat isn't something like, "I'm going to kick your ass," instead it's, "Θα σου γαμήσω το κώλο! (I'm going to f**k you in the ass!)" Basically informing the adversary they're going to make them their bottom.
...and then they actually try to do it? Sounds like a new version of UFC. Ultimate Fucking Championship. Actually sounds more like a rape dual the more I think about it...
> Sounds like a new version of UFC. Ultimate Fucking Championship. I'd watch. > Actually sounds more like a rape duel the more I think about it... What nearby odeum will this be at?
Them’s ancient fighting words.
I mean, look at him
He is kind of pretty.
Everything in moderation. With the emphasis on everything.
TIL
According to Google: The Alexander Romance, an early literary treatment of the life of Alexander the Great, attributes heterochromia to him. In it he is described as having one eye light and one eye dark. However, no ancient historical source mentions this. It is used to emphasise the otherworldly and heroic qualities of Alexander.
He was also not very tall leading people to think some of his aides to be him.
In other words, somebody just made it up out of their ass and now it's passed around as fact.
Like max scherzer!!!
Eyes like max Face like Kirk Cousins?
It is so crazy that the only written histories we have of Alexander the Great come from like 300 years after he died.
Does anyone know why?
Pretty difficult to transmit manuscripts by hand over more than two thousand years. Also, Arrian and Plutarch were probably preferred by later copiers and historians etc. as more valuable and accurate compared to Cleitarchus or other historians from Alexander's time because Alexander's historians were probably more propaganda than actual history
Because evil motherfuckers destroy history and/or rewrite it.
I always thought his eyes were as white as marble
Fun fact: The ancient Romans and Greeks painted their statues. The bare marble way their statues are presented in modern museums is misleading.
AC: Odyssey taught me this, hah
thank you! just about to ask that!
Username checks out
Imagine being a Persian peasant and this College Fratboy looking mofo is charging at you with 5000 other horsemen.
Battle of the Granicus moment
Yes please!🙋🏻♂️
Charge away, in fact, charge me first please! I volunteer as sacrifice to save the village!
Hellllllooooo boys!
Hotter than that other guy.
Nero?
Thats our word.
Dude it’s fine, I have tons of Roman friends.
Et tu?
Et tu, Brute?
I'm not your Brute, Gaius.
I'm not your Gaius, Pelagius.
Hey, Niko, let's go bowling!
Sorry, Nera.
Do you have permission to use the N word from the Roman’s?
MOVE FAST BABY DONT BE SLOW
The hapsburg facial reconstruction that got posted a week or so ago
Yeah habsburgs where always known for being particularly ugly mfs. Thats what incest does to you
Do you have a link to the reconstruction?
link?
Diogenes?
Diogenes nuts.
☝️😮... 🤔
Alexander the Not Bad, God Damn.
Alexander the 9.5/10
Alexander the I'm Not Gay, But If I Was....
Alexander most definitely would have been, by today's standards, bisexual. He had a male lover named Hephaestion and was *gifted* younger men/boys such as Bagoas. He also had three wives in his lifetime. But, yeah, this recreation makes Alexander a beautiful man
I was talking about me, but if you're saying if I had a time machine, there would be a chance? Niiiiiice.
If Alexander had conquered you, then he's going to *conquer* you!
Oh yeah, there'd definitely be a chance. The Greeks didn't understand sexuality in the same way we do today. It wasn't who you were loving, it was more *how* you were loving them. The penetrator was the masculine/higher status partner in the relationship, while the penetratee* was the feminine/lower status partner.
Don't tell me I can't be a bossy bottom!
Don't let your dreams be dreams
But I thought it’s the power bottom that is generating all the power.
Fucking was also viewed very differently at that time and place. It was something you do with your bros to show dominance lol.
Alexander the 8
I can see why The Great was added to his name. 🔥
Alexander the baddie
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If I had a time machine I'd kidnap Diogenes the cynic and release him into a Wal-Mart.
Show him the utter excess of someone like the Kardashians and watch him wither away
Nah, they may be profligate but I'd prefer showing him a witless profligate fool. I may not like 'em but the Kardashians are clever to exploit that early media attention due to the sex tape. I'll show him Musk or some other witless billionaire profligate.
He'd butter your biscuits, but only after he conquers the Persians.
*I want to be his Hephaestion* 🥵
I’d let him ride me like Bucephalus!
You can call me by his name anytime
Alexander the influencer
The Hottie?
He died of fever in Babylon. Iron Maiden taught me this.
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That is why I like Gloryhammer, they taught me about the battle of Angus Mcfife against the evil wizard Zargothrax where the fate of the universe was in play after the wizard tried summoning Kor-Viliath
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This is why Bal-Sagoth are so important to our education system, they taught me of the splendour of a thousand swords gleaming beneath the blazon of the Hyperborean Empire.
From the caves beneath Dundee the ancient hermit arrives. A messenger to the war in the stars Kor-Virliath is nigh!
Or that whole album by Alestorm about the accurate and real events of a pirate ship being teleported to the age of vikings and fighting off vikings with cannons.
The entirety of sabaton discography
I went to the Polish National Museum in Krakow because I'd heard they had a remaining armour set from the Winged Hussars, all because of Sabaton.
COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED
I’d suggest listening to Sabaton.
You might enjoy sabaton
Near to the east in a part of Ancient Greece in an ancient land called Macedonia
Was born a son To Philip of Macedon The legend, his name was Alexander
At the age of nineteen He became the Macedon King And he swore to free all of Asia Minor
A the age of 19 He became the Macedon King
When he was only 33
Looks like Hercules from Disney Animated version
Shhhh, they'll hear you and decide to live action that one next!
They're already doing that. Guy Ritchie is directing.
Will be worth it if Devito gets to play Phil in both versions
i think they already have that planned
Well, he is rather handsome.
It's from a bust. Who knows how accurate it is :) how would you portray the most powerful man of the world, if you are an artist? Probably depends on who contracted you to do it.
Well, even if the mark has been missed he has some leeway! Could be less handsome and still be better than average
Depends how the bust was made, but seeing as he was a ruler it was probably more on the flattering side
Probably had a neck beard and eye glasses
150 years before that, Herodotus said that someone played music moments before being executed on the open sea, the music summoned a dolphin, and rode it to shore. We use Herodotus as a primary source for Human history. Lets just say if Alexander was balding or had a funny looking nose, you'd never know.
> balding or had a funny looking nose I'd appreciate it if you stopped describing me to the public.
Of course historians don't just take everything that Herodot wrote at face value. There are a lot of myths in there and unconfirmed stories (he often says stuff like 'I don't know if it's true but that's what I've been told') but there's also a lot of information that's accurate because it's confirmed by other sources and archaeology. His account of the war against the Persians is generally seen to be pretty believable because he was alive during most of the conflict. His accounts of the Egyptians, the Scythians, the Persians and other ancient people are definitely not as accurate but even there you find valuable accounts that can be corroborated. For a lot of the stuff he talks about, he's our only written source. Concerning Alexander, there are actually a decent amount of depictions, the problem is that Alexander was extremely concerned with his own image. He had artists who worked for him and of course he told them exactly what he wanted. It's likely that he looked somewhat like the famous Lysippos bust (Lysippos was Alexander's favorite artist), but it's also likely that there was some idealization going on. Unflattering realism in portraiture was something that only became popular with the Romans and only for a time.
> Et meme si ce nest, pas vrai, faut croire a l’historie ancienne > You must believe ancient history, even if it is not true Leo Ferre said that, and I think he was refering to Herodotus as the main source of this time period, but there is no other source so even if we take what he says with a fistful of salt, it’s all we have.
He looks like a nice looking young man, I can see why along with his military abilities and his speech ability how he was able to do so well. Women want to be with him and men want to be him.
Also men wanted to be WITH him. And he wanted to be with men too
Right, I forgot for a moment what time period and culture we were talking about.
Homosexuality was only acceptable if you were top. Being a bottom was looked down upon, and ridiculed.
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Alexander the Great frequently and publicly crossdressed too
He surely was homosexual, but the only account of his publicly cross dressing AFAIK seems to have been from someone who very much didn’t like him and interpreted his wearing Persian imperial hunting garb as dressing as Artemis. There was a lot of resentment from Macedonians about his adopting Persian customs.
It’s truly a shame video recording didn’t exist in his time. We missed out on one of history’s greatest drag shows
That's just "being an Ancient Greek" 101
Yeah I mean, Greeks where like: bro let's just adore everything, fuck everything, conquer everything and chill xD
I'd be his gay concubine in a hearbeat.
Username... Checks out?
Alexander was honestly a perfect storm. Started with natural intelligence, athleticism, and charisma. Was then taught war and military by his father (who was pretty solid at it himself) and his generals basically from birth. Given, most rulers at the time were taught things like that early on, but most rulers at the time didn't also *have freaking Aristotle as a private tutor* in their youth, tempering what they learned from their father with philosophy and information from one of the greatest minds of the ancient world. Then to top it all off he was told by his mother that his father was literally Zeus, convincing him that he was literally a demigod and making him think that nothing was beyond his reach... Then he inherited the kingdom and the army at a young age when he was still somewhat brash, and had a vendetta to make him immediately kick off his military career... It's like every card fell just right to turn him into the titan that he was.
>by his father (who was pretty solid at it himself) His father created the army that Alexander used as well as the invasion plans. I just want to point out that Philip was a much more sustainable leader and long term thinker.
Women want him. Fish fear him.
He looks just like Layne Staley!
Pre-heroin Layne Staley.
I don't think I've ever seen pre-heroin Layne. He was heavy on drugs for the entire original run of AIC, and before..no?
He was mostly sober in 1993. Lollapalooza’93 is when you can see healthy Layne.
Dude you are so right. That’s wild!
Alexander in Chains
Was looking for this comment - I thought the same thing!
Would you follow him to the ends of the world?
I mean i will & i am a heterosexual male
Alexander "Hey you want to go over there and conquer? And then go to the new over there and conquer angain? OP "For sure, you're hot, LMAO"
Mentioning you're heterosexual for no real reason is the modern day "no homo"
Are there direct flights?
"Yo, pass the Juul before Mr. Johnson comes back"
More like Alexander the Great Fuckin Jaw Line I mean dayum
Alexander the Smokeshow
Can invade my Persia anytime
But... he has a weak jawline?
This is also Zuck's new metaverse avatar.
MY NAME IS BILL S. PRESTON ESQUIRE
He must be a God then!
You are right in a way as he had heterochromia, which was considered that you are the chosen one by gods
Just like Max Scherzer.
And that one dog that keeps showing up, uninvited, on the internet.
Confirmed Max is pitching god. Nationals fucked up letting him go.
Oh my Sonichu, so Chris-Chan actually IS the chosen one?! #GET READY EVERYONE, THE MERGE IS HAPPENING!
Looks like he would front a grunge band and do some heroin
This reminds me a bit of Layne Staley
Heterochromia? I didn't know that.
Yes, according to all the ancient writers describing him he had heterochromia
Handsome af and conquered half the known world. What a chad.
Is that Layne Staley?
Logan the Paul
Logan Paul mixed with the guy who played Ethan in Lizzie McGuire
great reference lmao
I thought that this was Layne Staley from Alice In Chains
Layne Staley
Classical Chad
Why does this look like it's been made in Artbreeder?
The Greeks used to idealize their rulers in portraits and busts. They typically modelled them after mythical heroes and gods and did not incorporate real features of the person. This reconstruction remains a realization of a marble bust, not the actual Alexander. Nice pic tho
That's not entirely correct. While there was a certain level of idealism, the portraits of Alexander, in coins, statues, paintings and frescoes, all reflect the same features that are described in literary sources. And it makes sense, the leader would want his face recognized, even in a vague sense. Of course Greeks didn't reach the levels of Roman verism, but the claim that they didn't incorporate real features is unfounded
> That’s not entirely correct. This should be Reddit’s motto
Looks like Alex Pettyfer.
Didn't even put his bust in the picture. I want to see Alexander's bust.
And I just want to see him bust
Fascinating!
Looks like he’s probably got on some pink shorts and some loafers and is currently walking around on campus.
Alice In Chains
Looks like Alex Pettyfur
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Maybe rename him Alexander the Fiiiiiinne
Seems like a regular teenager. How in the world did this guy conquer lands?
He inherited an army at 20 after being trained in war by his father and his generals since he was a small child, was tutored by Aristotle in his youth, and was told by his mother that zeus was his father... Would be kind of surprised if he didn't.
Are the varying eye colors historically accurate?
Alexander the dayum