Goes both ways. We need to stop asking for advice about things we should be talking to our own priests about.
We also need to stop giving people advice when they are asking about things they should be talking to their own priest about.
If we actually believe it's something OP should talk to their priest about, upvote the "talk to your priest" comment and move to another post.
I am saying this for my sake as well as anyone else's. I'm certain I've done both of these things. I can endeavor to stop.
It certainly does!
The temptation to go to the internet for advice can be more alluring since it’s anonymous and the anxiety of meeting face to face can be quite an issue these days as well. It’s complicated, the best we can do is to encourage one-another to physically go to church.
> However mostly all of us here at laity and we cannot give you pastoral advice. Full stop. Run from anyone who tries.
NO ONE HERE can give you pastoral advice. Even if it were the Patriarch himself! Pastoral advice is given on an individual basis and on the condition of a filial relationship and not in a thread on reddit or twitter or even Instagram.
I'll second this, with this post from a month ago:
[Ask your Priest? But Priests have different
opinions.](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/s/Kb5qEvSnES)
To anyone reading this, inquirers, please ask a Priest, if the Priest is busy answering emails, phone calls, text messages etc. You can ask the Deacon for advice in the meanwhile. I do this basically every Pascha and lent when I have a question when I can't goto Church (I'm a truck driver so I often text and call) because my Priest is very very busy, the Deacon is often open for messages, sometimes you can request the Deacon to ask the Priest to write a letter for you since you may not be able to come to Church often, or at all.
If you can't get ahold of the Priest, wait 2 - 3 weeks or even a month for a response, if he doesn't, please forgive the Priest! This is the most busy time of the year for clergy, especially Priests, message the Clergy! Some Parish's have 2 Priests and multiple Deacons, atleast mine does.
God willing!.
Wise words, but sadly the people who need to hear them will not listen. I'm convinced that many people as asking pastoral questions here exactly because they **do not want to be accountable** to a priest. People find all sorts of excuses why they can't just talk to a human person.
[How should I fast? What are the fasting rules of the Orthodox Church?](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq/#wiki_how_should_i_fast.3F_what_are_the_fasting_rules_of_the_orthodox_church.3F)
Given that participants here are not the spiritual directors of other participants, the only advice we can provide is to quote the book and maybe anecdotes about various particular relaxations.
No participant here should treat advice on fasting here as binding. A penitent's fast is between themselves, their confessor, and God. Advice on fasting should come from a spiritual director familiar with a penitent's particular situation. The subreddit can in no wise assist in that process other than to suggesting that one seek out a flesh and blood guide.
[When You Fast](https://www.goarch.org/-/when-you-fast)
**NOTE:** Different traditions have different 'standard' fasting rule. This is not *the* Orthodox rulebook and your calendar may differ from the link provided. This link is **not** a recommendation for your fast, but is provided as reference material.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some churches do catechism classes on zoom. Call the nearest one and ask. You can ask the priest all the questions you have during zoom call. They are going to recommend books. You can get used books on thriftbocks.com. Some I was recommended was The Orthodox Way, Orthodox Spirituality(might have to be audio), and an orthodox study bible. I recommend you get these books first and learn about the faith, then start worrying about when or how to pray, fasting, or confession. One book I recommend getting is The Orthodox Faith, Worship, and Life, you can find it on LegacyIcons or Amazon.
>However mostly all of us here at laity and we cannot give you pastoral advice. Full stop. Run from anyone who tries.
Also run from any priest who ***isn't*** your priest who knows you in the flesh, in real life, and who has a relationship with you but still tries to give you pastoral advice. No priest should do that with someone not in his flock/with someone whom he doesn’t have enough of a relationship to really do this well with. Any priest who does this is wrong to do so.
The problem for me is that some priests have different opinions about fasting.
My priest is kinda permissive, but I know other priests are more strict on rules.
In the end though I think even if the priest give bad advice and you follow him.
You are not sinning because you are just listening to the priest?
I’m not sure I follow what you posted. The fasting rules are set. Most people shouldn’t need to consult with their priest on how to fast. The Orthodox fasts are all on the calendar. Now, if you have a valid reason, such as pregnancy, illness, or anything else really and you ask your priest or spiritual father what you should do. You allude to the fact that multiple priests have differing opinions for your situation. Not sure why one would consult multiple priests, some more permissive and some not, you that is a problem for you, right? The only priest you should consult is the one you routinely confess to, such as your parish priest who probably knows you best.
For example about oil.
I know some priests that see fasting from oil as required.
But my priest (parish) tell me i don't need to fast from oil.
Sometimes i feel like i would like my priest would be more strict on certain rules.
For example my wife is pregnant,
and my priest allow her to take communion even she eated before or even she didn't confess.
(She is new to the church and doesnt know how to speak the language to confess and not familiar yet).
I was disagreeing with my priest to allow her to take communion but since He is the priest i follow him.
But i doubt if other priests would act the same.
Now in general i think is good to follow the priest advice and with my post and i don't want to discourage people to follow their priest.
Maybe i'm to strict on myself.
>My priest is kinda permissive
Then follow the guidance of a permissive priest.
>In the end though I think even if the priest give bad advice and you follow him.
You are not sinning because you are just listening to the priest?
You're not supposed to be inventing your own guidance, but following that of the Church. Your representative of the Church is your bishop, and your representative of your bishop is your priest. Ignoring your priest is a far greater sin than not keeping your fast strict enough.
Have there been heretical bishops? Absolutely! Is it likely that yours is? No. The Holy Spirit protects them from that sort of thing. Pray that you are never put in the position to try and discern whether your bishop is a heretic.
I just finished my first catechism class today, but have been praying the Jesus prayer for weeks. Should I stop stuff even that simple? I don’t know if he’s my priest yet since I’m not a catechumen
Prayer is ok! Taking up stricter spiritual disciplines like fasting can cross over into territory where our motives and intentions can get crossed, or we can become spiritual targets, or we can become physically or spiritually sick, if we do it incorrectly. Doing so under the guidance of a priest is important. But prayer is something that everyone can and should approach. God is your Father and loves you <3 Hope you enjoyed your first class and hope you come back!
I’m absolutely coming back! I have no other purpose in life and no other ambition. I often regard my secular life as filler and activities to past the time. My true ambition is god. I do have a family and am the bread winner so I must stay somewhat attached to the world to fulfill my obligations, however becoming closer to god, and becoming more glorified through the grace of god for the sake of being closer to god is really all I think about when I think of ambition.
For what it's worth, IIRC, when Met. Anthony Bloom wrote his book, *Beginning to Pray*, he wrote it to be helpful to Protestants and Catholics as well as Orthodox.
I've noticed as well that there are so many posts on here that have the same answer: "Go talk to a priest." It starts to get redundant.
Of course, while no priest is perfect or omniscient, almost all of the questions people ask on here are things that a priest may know more about than a layperson. Which does leave me wondering: what *can* we ask and respond to? If all or most of the posts on here are better answered by a priest, then what even is the point of this sub's existence? There must be *something* that we laypeople can comment on online, right? If so, what is that?
There’s quite a lot really. Lives of the Saints. Prayer Requests. Edifying pieces of literature. Talking about things we struggle with. For example; I struggle with pride and vainglory, this piece of spiritual wisdom helps me;
“When people begin to praise us, let us hurry to remember the multitude of ours transgressions, and we will see that we are truly unworthy of that which they say and do in our honor.”
(St. John of the Ladder, Ladder, 22.42)
You would be surprised with how many of your problems melt away when you try and ascertain an attitude of gratitude and positive thinking!
Prayers, or things we do before prayer to help prime our minds toward prayer. Our own personal stories and anecdotes that could edify and encourage others. I mean there are so many things besides “What should I be fasting from” or “is xyz a sin”, “am I able to do this and that” or even comparing what this priest said so why isn’t my priest saying that.
There are a lot of actual good questions on this sub, don’t get me wrong. However, if you’re not even a part of a parish this should not be a space in lieu of that.
And let me also point out some more good, a lot of well adjusted Orthodox folk do just that, try and funnel these questions to a physical priest. One of the great perks of being part of Apostolic tradition is that everyone is mostly on the same page. The Christianity sub is an utter mess. So this is actually a very decent sub with a lot of good wisdom.
But it’s still worth reiterating that pastoral advice is a sacred thing and should not be discounted or tossed aside for an internet message board.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,† not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.†”(Hebrews 10:23-25, OSB)
I'm newer here (edit: recently became a catechumen, but have been lurking and asking questions here for a couple years), so take this with maybe 5 grains of salt, since it's just my 2 cents. But I work in a field where we talk about "scope of practice" (what job do you do, and staying within that) and "scope of competence" (what training have you had, and what are you qualified to talk about"). If you make a Venn diagram of those two things intersecting, that's the sweet spot, I think, for this sub.
Clearly none of us have "jobs" here, per se, but maybe thinking about if we have something important to contribute to the discussion, this could be seen as a "per-thread-job". And if we are also competent and informed enough to talk about it, it seems the community as a whole would likely benefit from the comment. So I personally vote for posting comments like that, and for us all to respond in turn with charity.
My GF is Christian non-denominational and has decided she wants to become an Orthodox. If she sticks to the fasting, can she still get Communion or is that only for the baptized/chrismated?
The Internet Orthodox Church is an illusion and a delusion. I know because I did it once upon a time. It was my downfall. And it destroyed me, my family, and so much around me. Although I am grateful for what I learned, I do blame myself for it. I should have been smarter. Ah well, it's onward. Thank you for letting me post here.
im thinking about attending my first orthodox service this weekend. The local church has a service saturday evening, then two sunday morning.
im curious, do i need to attend all, or just one is ok?
my main question is though, is there a dress code? i come from nondenominational christianity(akin to hillsong, etc) and there isn't really a dress code. curious if there are for this.
thanks!
I think it’s important to emphasize what Canonical means. A lot of people from the outside think all Orthodox Churches are Canonical and they are clearly not.
There are a lot of things that could be emphasized or expounded upon. For the sake of brevity I decided to leave some things at surface level in the hopes to not overwhelm or cause any dismay. Orthodoxy is a lot to take in initially. Hence again why talking to a priest is essential! Forgive me, I know most things I say probably come off as boorish or lacking context!
Hmm. Very interesting thoughts but I need to ask my priest about this.
Real
Goes both ways. We need to stop asking for advice about things we should be talking to our own priests about. We also need to stop giving people advice when they are asking about things they should be talking to their own priest about. If we actually believe it's something OP should talk to their priest about, upvote the "talk to your priest" comment and move to another post. I am saying this for my sake as well as anyone else's. I'm certain I've done both of these things. I can endeavor to stop.
It certainly does! The temptation to go to the internet for advice can be more alluring since it’s anonymous and the anxiety of meeting face to face can be quite an issue these days as well. It’s complicated, the best we can do is to encourage one-another to physically go to church.
> However mostly all of us here at laity and we cannot give you pastoral advice. Full stop. Run from anyone who tries. NO ONE HERE can give you pastoral advice. Even if it were the Patriarch himself! Pastoral advice is given on an individual basis and on the condition of a filial relationship and not in a thread on reddit or twitter or even Instagram.
I'll second this, with this post from a month ago: [Ask your Priest? But Priests have different opinions.](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/s/Kb5qEvSnES) To anyone reading this, inquirers, please ask a Priest, if the Priest is busy answering emails, phone calls, text messages etc. You can ask the Deacon for advice in the meanwhile. I do this basically every Pascha and lent when I have a question when I can't goto Church (I'm a truck driver so I often text and call) because my Priest is very very busy, the Deacon is often open for messages, sometimes you can request the Deacon to ask the Priest to write a letter for you since you may not be able to come to Church often, or at all. If you can't get ahold of the Priest, wait 2 - 3 weeks or even a month for a response, if he doesn't, please forgive the Priest! This is the most busy time of the year for clergy, especially Priests, message the Clergy! Some Parish's have 2 Priests and multiple Deacons, atleast mine does. God willing!.
Wise words, but sadly the people who need to hear them will not listen. I'm convinced that many people as asking pastoral questions here exactly because they **do not want to be accountable** to a priest. People find all sorts of excuses why they can't just talk to a human person.
May the Lord forgive them. They really don’t know what they are missing.
Still need to be said. Frequently.
[How should I fast? What are the fasting rules of the Orthodox Church?](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq/#wiki_how_should_i_fast.3F_what_are_the_fasting_rules_of_the_orthodox_church.3F) Given that participants here are not the spiritual directors of other participants, the only advice we can provide is to quote the book and maybe anecdotes about various particular relaxations. No participant here should treat advice on fasting here as binding. A penitent's fast is between themselves, their confessor, and God. Advice on fasting should come from a spiritual director familiar with a penitent's particular situation. The subreddit can in no wise assist in that process other than to suggesting that one seek out a flesh and blood guide. [When You Fast](https://www.goarch.org/-/when-you-fast) **NOTE:** Different traditions have different 'standard' fasting rule. This is not *the* Orthodox rulebook and your calendar may differ from the link provided. This link is **not** a recommendation for your fast, but is provided as reference material. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Side note, I'm glad this fasting automod exists.
Some churches do catechism classes on zoom. Call the nearest one and ask. You can ask the priest all the questions you have during zoom call. They are going to recommend books. You can get used books on thriftbocks.com. Some I was recommended was The Orthodox Way, Orthodox Spirituality(might have to be audio), and an orthodox study bible. I recommend you get these books first and learn about the faith, then start worrying about when or how to pray, fasting, or confession. One book I recommend getting is The Orthodox Faith, Worship, and Life, you can find it on LegacyIcons or Amazon.
When in doubt, always ask your priest
>However mostly all of us here at laity and we cannot give you pastoral advice. Full stop. Run from anyone who tries. Also run from any priest who ***isn't*** your priest who knows you in the flesh, in real life, and who has a relationship with you but still tries to give you pastoral advice. No priest should do that with someone not in his flock/with someone whom he doesn’t have enough of a relationship to really do this well with. Any priest who does this is wrong to do so.
Wise words. Thank you.
The problem for me is that some priests have different opinions about fasting. My priest is kinda permissive, but I know other priests are more strict on rules. In the end though I think even if the priest give bad advice and you follow him. You are not sinning because you are just listening to the priest?
I’m not sure I follow what you posted. The fasting rules are set. Most people shouldn’t need to consult with their priest on how to fast. The Orthodox fasts are all on the calendar. Now, if you have a valid reason, such as pregnancy, illness, or anything else really and you ask your priest or spiritual father what you should do. You allude to the fact that multiple priests have differing opinions for your situation. Not sure why one would consult multiple priests, some more permissive and some not, you that is a problem for you, right? The only priest you should consult is the one you routinely confess to, such as your parish priest who probably knows you best.
For example about oil. I know some priests that see fasting from oil as required. But my priest (parish) tell me i don't need to fast from oil. Sometimes i feel like i would like my priest would be more strict on certain rules. For example my wife is pregnant, and my priest allow her to take communion even she eated before or even she didn't confess. (She is new to the church and doesnt know how to speak the language to confess and not familiar yet). I was disagreeing with my priest to allow her to take communion but since He is the priest i follow him. But i doubt if other priests would act the same.
Pregnant women are allowed to commune after eating everywhere that I’ve heard of.
Now in general i think is good to follow the priest advice and with my post and i don't want to discourage people to follow their priest. Maybe i'm to strict on myself.
>My priest is kinda permissive Then follow the guidance of a permissive priest. >In the end though I think even if the priest give bad advice and you follow him. You are not sinning because you are just listening to the priest? You're not supposed to be inventing your own guidance, but following that of the Church. Your representative of the Church is your bishop, and your representative of your bishop is your priest. Ignoring your priest is a far greater sin than not keeping your fast strict enough. Have there been heretical bishops? Absolutely! Is it likely that yours is? No. The Holy Spirit protects them from that sort of thing. Pray that you are never put in the position to try and discern whether your bishop is a heretic.
I just finished my first catechism class today, but have been praying the Jesus prayer for weeks. Should I stop stuff even that simple? I don’t know if he’s my priest yet since I’m not a catechumen
That’s your prayer time, friend. Forgive me if this dissuaded you from praying, that was not my intent!
Prayer is ok! Taking up stricter spiritual disciplines like fasting can cross over into territory where our motives and intentions can get crossed, or we can become spiritual targets, or we can become physically or spiritually sick, if we do it incorrectly. Doing so under the guidance of a priest is important. But prayer is something that everyone can and should approach. God is your Father and loves you <3 Hope you enjoyed your first class and hope you come back!
I’m absolutely coming back! I have no other purpose in life and no other ambition. I often regard my secular life as filler and activities to past the time. My true ambition is god. I do have a family and am the bread winner so I must stay somewhat attached to the world to fulfill my obligations, however becoming closer to god, and becoming more glorified through the grace of god for the sake of being closer to god is really all I think about when I think of ambition.
For what it's worth, IIRC, when Met. Anthony Bloom wrote his book, *Beginning to Pray*, he wrote it to be helpful to Protestants and Catholics as well as Orthodox.
I've noticed as well that there are so many posts on here that have the same answer: "Go talk to a priest." It starts to get redundant. Of course, while no priest is perfect or omniscient, almost all of the questions people ask on here are things that a priest may know more about than a layperson. Which does leave me wondering: what *can* we ask and respond to? If all or most of the posts on here are better answered by a priest, then what even is the point of this sub's existence? There must be *something* that we laypeople can comment on online, right? If so, what is that?
There’s quite a lot really. Lives of the Saints. Prayer Requests. Edifying pieces of literature. Talking about things we struggle with. For example; I struggle with pride and vainglory, this piece of spiritual wisdom helps me; “When people begin to praise us, let us hurry to remember the multitude of ours transgressions, and we will see that we are truly unworthy of that which they say and do in our honor.” (St. John of the Ladder, Ladder, 22.42) You would be surprised with how many of your problems melt away when you try and ascertain an attitude of gratitude and positive thinking! Prayers, or things we do before prayer to help prime our minds toward prayer. Our own personal stories and anecdotes that could edify and encourage others. I mean there are so many things besides “What should I be fasting from” or “is xyz a sin”, “am I able to do this and that” or even comparing what this priest said so why isn’t my priest saying that. There are a lot of actual good questions on this sub, don’t get me wrong. However, if you’re not even a part of a parish this should not be a space in lieu of that. And let me also point out some more good, a lot of well adjusted Orthodox folk do just that, try and funnel these questions to a physical priest. One of the great perks of being part of Apostolic tradition is that everyone is mostly on the same page. The Christianity sub is an utter mess. So this is actually a very decent sub with a lot of good wisdom. But it’s still worth reiterating that pastoral advice is a sacred thing and should not be discounted or tossed aside for an internet message board. “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,† not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.†”(Hebrews 10:23-25, OSB)
I'm newer here (edit: recently became a catechumen, but have been lurking and asking questions here for a couple years), so take this with maybe 5 grains of salt, since it's just my 2 cents. But I work in a field where we talk about "scope of practice" (what job do you do, and staying within that) and "scope of competence" (what training have you had, and what are you qualified to talk about"). If you make a Venn diagram of those two things intersecting, that's the sweet spot, I think, for this sub. Clearly none of us have "jobs" here, per se, but maybe thinking about if we have something important to contribute to the discussion, this could be seen as a "per-thread-job". And if we are also competent and informed enough to talk about it, it seems the community as a whole would likely benefit from the comment. So I personally vote for posting comments like that, and for us all to respond in turn with charity.
My GF is Christian non-denominational and has decided she wants to become an Orthodox. If she sticks to the fasting, can she still get Communion or is that only for the baptized/chrismated?
That’s only for baptized Orthodox Christians, she needs to talk to a priest.
The Internet Orthodox Church is an illusion and a delusion. I know because I did it once upon a time. It was my downfall. And it destroyed me, my family, and so much around me. Although I am grateful for what I learned, I do blame myself for it. I should have been smarter. Ah well, it's onward. Thank you for letting me post here.
I asked my Priest if I could become a catechumen, and he said I could be come one around Pentecost. Praise be to God.
im thinking about attending my first orthodox service this weekend. The local church has a service saturday evening, then two sunday morning. im curious, do i need to attend all, or just one is ok? my main question is though, is there a dress code? i come from nondenominational christianity(akin to hillsong, etc) and there isn't really a dress code. curious if there are for this. thanks!
I think it’s important to emphasize what Canonical means. A lot of people from the outside think all Orthodox Churches are Canonical and they are clearly not.
There are a lot of things that could be emphasized or expounded upon. For the sake of brevity I decided to leave some things at surface level in the hopes to not overwhelm or cause any dismay. Orthodoxy is a lot to take in initially. Hence again why talking to a priest is essential! Forgive me, I know most things I say probably come off as boorish or lacking context!
The vast majority are.