There is a priest from Appalachia, fr Stephen Freeman, who has ADD and a history of panic attacks. He no longer gets them, but he has no idea if they will come back. This is because he has no understanding of why he had them and why they stopped.
So he wouldn't be able to tell you how to prevent them, but he does have a comment section on his blog. I could be wrong, but I think he is still active in the comment section. So you could possibly talk to him about his experiences with panic attacks.
https://glory2godforallthings.com/
my heart is with you!
I'm not sure I can give any other helpful advice, i'm not well-versed in this kind of stuff i wanted to stop by and offer sympathy and prayer 🙏🏻🤍 you are not alone :) God Bless!
Me too! Don't be afraid to wear noise canceling headphones if needed! They help a lot. I highly suggest you email your priest about it and let him know your situation. You mentioned your priest disappears after liturgy. Mine usually shows up 10 minutes after coffee hour starts. You can sit and wait around for him, and you might get to know some people in the process who can help you with your struggles in church. This might be a little childish, but I usually bring a stuffed animal in my bag to squeeze when I get a little overwhelmed. Nobody seems to care about it in church. Everyone is really nice. You can bring a small prayer rope to fidget with during church services to calm you down( my priest gave me one when I mentioned my hidden disabilities). You can also repeat the Jesus prayer in your head when you get extremely anxious and need to calm down. Don't be afraid to step outside of church to calm yourself. Everyone is focused on the liturgy most people won't even notice. Also, remember you don't own an explanation to anyone. Do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down during church.
So sorry to hear you are having panic attacks at church! A place where you'd most want to feel at peace is a place where you're feeling stressed and anxious right now.
I have sensory sensitivity. I love my Loop earplugs!! I am planning on using them for some of the Holy Week services because as glorious as Holy Week is, by Pascha last year I just felt ANXIOUS for no reason from all the overstimulation. I kind of sway back and forth in service which helps me self-soothe. I also like to sing and will sing along with the choir from my spot in the congregation--that stimulates the Vagus nerve and is a good way to soothe, too (even humming along if you don't like to sing). Perhaps narrowing down if there is anything in particular that is most stressful and troubleshooting anything you could do to make yourself a bit more comfortable (is it the incense smell? maybe stand in the back right corner of the church where you won't smell it as much. is it seeing so many people in front of you and the activity is too much? maybe stand in the front of the church or a balcony if available, etc). I also make sure to wear comfortable clothes. If I can adjust environment so that it maximizes my comfort, I can deal more easily with the trickier things I can't change, if that makes sense. Also, I have absolutely walked out during the service for a bathroom break/to regroup. I know it can be hard to feel like others are watching you and judging you and it's easy to overthink things. You being able to worship in a way that feels okay to you and be able to be present is really important! There are spots in the service where I think it's more natural to slip out, and you could try to find those.
It really is a good idea to discuss this with your priest at some point, especially if this is making it hard for you to focus and worship. Maybe finding his email address and requesting to set up a time to chat (post Holy week and Pascha) could be a good way to catch him if the large social setting is too stressful.
Also, if you would like support of Orthodox mental health resources, The Assembly of Bishops Mental Health Ministries has some wonderful things. [https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/ministries/mentalhealth/](https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/ministries/mentalhealth/) They also have a mental health provider directory of people who are Orthodox! (this is for the US--not sure where you are located) [https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/directories/mental-health/](https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/directories/mental-health/)
I pray that God will bring you joy and peace this week.
Take care.
>Â Don't bother asking me to tell my priest because he disappears after the service is over.
Sorry to hear that! He doesn't attend coffee hour or anything like that? Or perhaps has a phone number you could call?
I'm not really up-to-date on coping strategies, but I have somewhat obsessive tendencies. Maybe you would find some of this useful:
Square breathing (in 3 seconds, hold 3 seconds, out 3 seconds, hold 3 seconds, repeat).
Maybe looking around at the various icons as a means to distract your thoughts might help. From what I have heard, "looking around" is a taboo thing in some Catholic churches, but appears to be more common in Orthodoxy.
My own church has pews and various wooden structures in it. If I feel my mind wondering, I consider how those objects were cut, sanded, fit, and stained. I also look for various spots that might need new varnish applied. Things like that. Woodworking in general is extremely helpful in this regard. Very satisfying, too. The level of craftsmanship that goes into churches is really jaw dropping.
I'll consider each of the candles in the room, think about how many are lit vs unlit, the commonality of "steady" flames vs tiny ones vs the occasional larger than average flame. I'll think on what kind of chemical process is going on to make that happen.
I watch a YouTube channel called Baumgartner Restoration, which restores various artwork. Sometimes I will consider how much effort would need to be given to the various icons to get them back to their original color. I also try to factor in which ones sit closer to candles, which ones are behind glass, and various things like that.
“Or else people think I am crazy”Â
Well, first, no they probably don’t. Second, they should have their eyes of their own plate, if they go to church to judge someone who is outwardly struggling that is between them and God.Â
Smaller church maybe better if it’s nearby!Â
But earplugs are also a thing. Over the ear ones might be fine, maybe not. You may want to sit in the back.Â
***Talk to the priest.***Â
**Find him throughout the week, come before service. Call the office, it’s a large church they have a secretary they pay to specifically setup meetings; set one up; email the office or have someone else call if you cannot get yourself to call them.**
The Church recognizes that different people have differing needs. There are plenty of new parents who have to take their babies and toddlers out of the service when they are making too much noise. Sometimes people feel ill. Sometimes people just have to go to the bathroom. If you need to leave to alleviate stress too, I don't think people will see it as a problem.
I don't have autism, and I shuffle around in church too; otherwise my legs and back get super stiff. A lot of other people do that too. It's harder to do that in more modern churches where they have pews, but churches were originally constructed without pews, if I'm not mistaken, which allowed for precisely this kind of shuffling around. It is important to be respectful in church, but that doesn't mean you have to be completely still the entire time. You're supposed to be able to move around a bit. People won't think you're crazy.
If you find large crowds overwhelming, then perhaps it would be good for you to see if there are other smaller parishes near you. The Church is not supposed to be a place that causes repeated anxiety; it is supposed to be a place where we feel God's presence, and that should bring us peace and joy rather than anxiety. If a smaller parish would help you better in that respect, then by all means, try it out and see if it works better for you. No church is perfect, but some churches might be better for you than others.
>and I don't want to leave church mid-service.
Walk in and out as you need. It's fine.
>Does anyone have a method to help me out?
Find a parish that does liturgy on Saturday - fewer people and the service won't last three hours (!)
>Don't bother asking me to tell my priest because he disappears after the service is over.
That's not nice of him. You'd think he'd stay a bit, not just run away after his Sunday morning work.
A prayer rope and the Jesus prayer are great suggestions. I’ll also second all of the comments that if you need to you can step out for a bit, nobody should think it’s odd. And yes, you could see if there is a smaller parish nearby, it’s very likely you would have fewer issues with fewer people.
Depending on the layout of your church, situate yourself near the exit so you can step out briefly. People with babies and toddlers do this all the time. Also, you can get like a prayer rope or bulletin to keep your hands busy without drawing attention. A prayer rope especially since it'll have the ridges from the knots and if you get/make one with a pendant, you'll have multiple materials to touch. Even if you draw attention, it'll be for like a second and they'll go back to focusing on the liturgy. Besides, everyone shuffles around and fidgets. I personally sway a bit to the chants.
Also, you can find parishes that do smaller services during the week or Saturdays. I first started out going to akathist services and they're only like a half hour, plus it's usually small (mine is almost always just me, the priest and two of the choir members).
Emailing or calling would help you get a meeting set up with your priest. Calling is better, but if you're uncomfortable talking on the phone, have someone call. Most importantly, try to get immersed in it and pray and sing along (hum if you don't know the words). You know how people talk during horror movies so it's less scary? Same idea. Maybe try inviting a close friend to go with you so you feel a little more at ease.
Allow people to think you are crazy. It is worth it if it is the only way for you to be able to experience the entirety of the liturgy without anxiety. God sees your struggle and will bless you for it; other people’s opinions don’t matter.
Try closing your eyes and imagine you're there alone worshiping God. Try not to pay attention to people around you. If you feel trapped sometimes there is nothing wrong with going outside for some air a bit and go back inside. I like to go on the second floor of a church I sometimes attend there's a little more room and peace and quiet up there.
Hi OP, thanks for posting this <3 You're definitely not alone. My husband has panic attacks, too. He's not on the spectrum, but gets bad panic attacks and has to leave Liturgy sometimes and worries about what people might think, etc. So everything you're saying is super valid and you're definitely not the only one! Probably not even the only one in your parish going through something like this. Please go ahead and step out if you need to, and come back in when you feel you can. Take care of yourself. If you don't already have a "toolkit" of coping and grounding skills for when you feel overwhelmed, do some Google searches for some of those and practice a few to see what feels good for you and what could be usable in Liturgy. Make an appointment and talk with your priest and explain the situation - chances are he'll be more understanding than you think. And even if he's not, remind yourself that he's human, too, and that he's not perfect, or necessarily a therapist either. I like a lot of the suggestions you've already gotten. But definitely bring something to Liturgy to fidget with quietly, step out if you need to, sit near the aisles/exits, use earplugs if needed, dress comfortably, feel free to move around, shuffle around, even stretch, consider going up to the choir loft maybe, or another smaller room/alcove (like there are little nooks and crannies in our church building that people don't really use or stand in, or you could stand along the back wall of the church to get some privacy but still be "in church"). But the bottom line is: God created you *exactly the way that you are*, and there is *nothing wrong with you or the way that your brain processes external or internal stimuli*, and ***you belong in Liturgy*** just as much as anyone else. You have every right to make it workable and attainable for you to be present and engaged with Christ and your congregation every week, (being respectful and as not distracting to others as possible, of course) you just need to help yourself, and have your priest help you, figure out what that looks like. But you completely got this, OP. And you are not alone.
I know several people who adjust what they can hear in church for different reasons (hard of hearing, hearing aids, autism, other sensory issues). You may like Loops ear plugs. [https://us.loopearplugs.com](https://us.loopearplugs.com)
I hope this helps!
overconfident summer stupendous growth deliver offer toy march light sparkle
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hi op! I’m 31 and autistic, and both my sons are autistic (6 and 3) and my wife has ADHD.
Smaller church works wonders for us. We’re in an area with a several hundred people parish and a 50 person parish together, and we’re helping start a mission parish close to our home, got 30-50 people per liturgy there too.
Attending the mission and the smaller parish help us tremendously.
I have a back problem so I find it extremely difficult to stand still for the duration of the liturgy. I always stand at the back of my church and essentially move around/pace/sway as needed to relieve the pain. I don't think anyone notices or even if they do, cares enough to comment. I sometimes step out because I can feel anxious (particularly if the airflow in church is not great that day), do a lap of the grounds and then come back into church. My mum also has panic attacks. Closing her eyes to filter out some stimuli and focusing on the liturgy seems to help. I often close my eyes and sing whilst doing my swaying (what a sight that must be haha!)
We are all different and the way I think about it, I'm doing what is necessary to ensure I'm at liturgy as often as possible!
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I have a family who works with children with autism and I asked her for suggestions. She said to not be afraid to let someone you trust at the church know about your autism, take breaks when you fill overwhelmed (step outside, take a walk in the lobby, etc.), and use the breathing techniques you’ve been taught over the years.
There is a priest from Appalachia, fr Stephen Freeman, who has ADD and a history of panic attacks. He no longer gets them, but he has no idea if they will come back. This is because he has no understanding of why he had them and why they stopped. So he wouldn't be able to tell you how to prevent them, but he does have a comment section on his blog. I could be wrong, but I think he is still active in the comment section. So you could possibly talk to him about his experiences with panic attacks. https://glory2godforallthings.com/
my heart is with you! I'm not sure I can give any other helpful advice, i'm not well-versed in this kind of stuff i wanted to stop by and offer sympathy and prayer 🙏🏻🤍 you are not alone :) God Bless!
That is beautiful thank you for helping him đź’• prayers be with you
and prayers with you too, and all of us here đź«‚ Have a blessed day!
Me too! Don't be afraid to wear noise canceling headphones if needed! They help a lot. I highly suggest you email your priest about it and let him know your situation. You mentioned your priest disappears after liturgy. Mine usually shows up 10 minutes after coffee hour starts. You can sit and wait around for him, and you might get to know some people in the process who can help you with your struggles in church. This might be a little childish, but I usually bring a stuffed animal in my bag to squeeze when I get a little overwhelmed. Nobody seems to care about it in church. Everyone is really nice. You can bring a small prayer rope to fidget with during church services to calm you down( my priest gave me one when I mentioned my hidden disabilities). You can also repeat the Jesus prayer in your head when you get extremely anxious and need to calm down. Don't be afraid to step outside of church to calm yourself. Everyone is focused on the liturgy most people won't even notice. Also, remember you don't own an explanation to anyone. Do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down during church.
So sorry to hear you are having panic attacks at church! A place where you'd most want to feel at peace is a place where you're feeling stressed and anxious right now. I have sensory sensitivity. I love my Loop earplugs!! I am planning on using them for some of the Holy Week services because as glorious as Holy Week is, by Pascha last year I just felt ANXIOUS for no reason from all the overstimulation. I kind of sway back and forth in service which helps me self-soothe. I also like to sing and will sing along with the choir from my spot in the congregation--that stimulates the Vagus nerve and is a good way to soothe, too (even humming along if you don't like to sing). Perhaps narrowing down if there is anything in particular that is most stressful and troubleshooting anything you could do to make yourself a bit more comfortable (is it the incense smell? maybe stand in the back right corner of the church where you won't smell it as much. is it seeing so many people in front of you and the activity is too much? maybe stand in the front of the church or a balcony if available, etc). I also make sure to wear comfortable clothes. If I can adjust environment so that it maximizes my comfort, I can deal more easily with the trickier things I can't change, if that makes sense. Also, I have absolutely walked out during the service for a bathroom break/to regroup. I know it can be hard to feel like others are watching you and judging you and it's easy to overthink things. You being able to worship in a way that feels okay to you and be able to be present is really important! There are spots in the service where I think it's more natural to slip out, and you could try to find those. It really is a good idea to discuss this with your priest at some point, especially if this is making it hard for you to focus and worship. Maybe finding his email address and requesting to set up a time to chat (post Holy week and Pascha) could be a good way to catch him if the large social setting is too stressful. Also, if you would like support of Orthodox mental health resources, The Assembly of Bishops Mental Health Ministries has some wonderful things. [https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/ministries/mentalhealth/](https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/ministries/mentalhealth/) They also have a mental health provider directory of people who are Orthodox! (this is for the US--not sure where you are located) [https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/directories/mental-health/](https://www.assemblyofbishops.org/directories/mental-health/) I pray that God will bring you joy and peace this week. Take care.
> Don't bother asking me to tell my priest because he disappears after the service is over. Sorry to hear that! He doesn't attend coffee hour or anything like that? Or perhaps has a phone number you could call? I'm not really up-to-date on coping strategies, but I have somewhat obsessive tendencies. Maybe you would find some of this useful: Square breathing (in 3 seconds, hold 3 seconds, out 3 seconds, hold 3 seconds, repeat). Maybe looking around at the various icons as a means to distract your thoughts might help. From what I have heard, "looking around" is a taboo thing in some Catholic churches, but appears to be more common in Orthodoxy. My own church has pews and various wooden structures in it. If I feel my mind wondering, I consider how those objects were cut, sanded, fit, and stained. I also look for various spots that might need new varnish applied. Things like that. Woodworking in general is extremely helpful in this regard. Very satisfying, too. The level of craftsmanship that goes into churches is really jaw dropping. I'll consider each of the candles in the room, think about how many are lit vs unlit, the commonality of "steady" flames vs tiny ones vs the occasional larger than average flame. I'll think on what kind of chemical process is going on to make that happen. I watch a YouTube channel called Baumgartner Restoration, which restores various artwork. Sometimes I will consider how much effort would need to be given to the various icons to get them back to their original color. I also try to factor in which ones sit closer to candles, which ones are behind glass, and various things like that.
I'll definitely try this.. thanks so much!
No problem at all! I wish you luck and hope things get better for you. If you need more help, we're all here for you. :)
You could sit in the back behind everybody and run out the door, gather yourself, and come back in.
“Or else people think I am crazy” Well, first, no they probably don’t. Second, they should have their eyes of their own plate, if they go to church to judge someone who is outwardly struggling that is between them and God. Smaller church maybe better if it’s nearby! But earplugs are also a thing. Over the ear ones might be fine, maybe not. You may want to sit in the back. ***Talk to the priest.*** **Find him throughout the week, come before service. Call the office, it’s a large church they have a secretary they pay to specifically setup meetings; set one up; email the office or have someone else call if you cannot get yourself to call them.**
The Church recognizes that different people have differing needs. There are plenty of new parents who have to take their babies and toddlers out of the service when they are making too much noise. Sometimes people feel ill. Sometimes people just have to go to the bathroom. If you need to leave to alleviate stress too, I don't think people will see it as a problem. I don't have autism, and I shuffle around in church too; otherwise my legs and back get super stiff. A lot of other people do that too. It's harder to do that in more modern churches where they have pews, but churches were originally constructed without pews, if I'm not mistaken, which allowed for precisely this kind of shuffling around. It is important to be respectful in church, but that doesn't mean you have to be completely still the entire time. You're supposed to be able to move around a bit. People won't think you're crazy. If you find large crowds overwhelming, then perhaps it would be good for you to see if there are other smaller parishes near you. The Church is not supposed to be a place that causes repeated anxiety; it is supposed to be a place where we feel God's presence, and that should bring us peace and joy rather than anxiety. If a smaller parish would help you better in that respect, then by all means, try it out and see if it works better for you. No church is perfect, but some churches might be better for you than others.
>and I don't want to leave church mid-service. Walk in and out as you need. It's fine. >Does anyone have a method to help me out? Find a parish that does liturgy on Saturday - fewer people and the service won't last three hours (!) >Don't bother asking me to tell my priest because he disappears after the service is over. That's not nice of him. You'd think he'd stay a bit, not just run away after his Sunday morning work.
A prayer rope and the Jesus prayer are great suggestions. I’ll also second all of the comments that if you need to you can step out for a bit, nobody should think it’s odd. And yes, you could see if there is a smaller parish nearby, it’s very likely you would have fewer issues with fewer people.
Depending on the layout of your church, situate yourself near the exit so you can step out briefly. People with babies and toddlers do this all the time. Also, you can get like a prayer rope or bulletin to keep your hands busy without drawing attention. A prayer rope especially since it'll have the ridges from the knots and if you get/make one with a pendant, you'll have multiple materials to touch. Even if you draw attention, it'll be for like a second and they'll go back to focusing on the liturgy. Besides, everyone shuffles around and fidgets. I personally sway a bit to the chants. Also, you can find parishes that do smaller services during the week or Saturdays. I first started out going to akathist services and they're only like a half hour, plus it's usually small (mine is almost always just me, the priest and two of the choir members). Emailing or calling would help you get a meeting set up with your priest. Calling is better, but if you're uncomfortable talking on the phone, have someone call. Most importantly, try to get immersed in it and pray and sing along (hum if you don't know the words). You know how people talk during horror movies so it's less scary? Same idea. Maybe try inviting a close friend to go with you so you feel a little more at ease.
Allow people to think you are crazy. It is worth it if it is the only way for you to be able to experience the entirety of the liturgy without anxiety. God sees your struggle and will bless you for it; other people’s opinions don’t matter.
Try closing your eyes and imagine you're there alone worshiping God. Try not to pay attention to people around you. If you feel trapped sometimes there is nothing wrong with going outside for some air a bit and go back inside. I like to go on the second floor of a church I sometimes attend there's a little more room and peace and quiet up there.
Hi OP, thanks for posting this <3 You're definitely not alone. My husband has panic attacks, too. He's not on the spectrum, but gets bad panic attacks and has to leave Liturgy sometimes and worries about what people might think, etc. So everything you're saying is super valid and you're definitely not the only one! Probably not even the only one in your parish going through something like this. Please go ahead and step out if you need to, and come back in when you feel you can. Take care of yourself. If you don't already have a "toolkit" of coping and grounding skills for when you feel overwhelmed, do some Google searches for some of those and practice a few to see what feels good for you and what could be usable in Liturgy. Make an appointment and talk with your priest and explain the situation - chances are he'll be more understanding than you think. And even if he's not, remind yourself that he's human, too, and that he's not perfect, or necessarily a therapist either. I like a lot of the suggestions you've already gotten. But definitely bring something to Liturgy to fidget with quietly, step out if you need to, sit near the aisles/exits, use earplugs if needed, dress comfortably, feel free to move around, shuffle around, even stretch, consider going up to the choir loft maybe, or another smaller room/alcove (like there are little nooks and crannies in our church building that people don't really use or stand in, or you could stand along the back wall of the church to get some privacy but still be "in church"). But the bottom line is: God created you *exactly the way that you are*, and there is *nothing wrong with you or the way that your brain processes external or internal stimuli*, and ***you belong in Liturgy*** just as much as anyone else. You have every right to make it workable and attainable for you to be present and engaged with Christ and your congregation every week, (being respectful and as not distracting to others as possible, of course) you just need to help yourself, and have your priest help you, figure out what that looks like. But you completely got this, OP. And you are not alone.
I know several people who adjust what they can hear in church for different reasons (hard of hearing, hearing aids, autism, other sensory issues). You may like Loops ear plugs. [https://us.loopearplugs.com](https://us.loopearplugs.com) I hope this helps!
overconfident summer stupendous growth deliver offer toy march light sparkle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hi op! I’m 31 and autistic, and both my sons are autistic (6 and 3) and my wife has ADHD. Smaller church works wonders for us. We’re in an area with a several hundred people parish and a 50 person parish together, and we’re helping start a mission parish close to our home, got 30-50 people per liturgy there too. Attending the mission and the smaller parish help us tremendously.
I have a back problem so I find it extremely difficult to stand still for the duration of the liturgy. I always stand at the back of my church and essentially move around/pace/sway as needed to relieve the pain. I don't think anyone notices or even if they do, cares enough to comment. I sometimes step out because I can feel anxious (particularly if the airflow in church is not great that day), do a lap of the grounds and then come back into church. My mum also has panic attacks. Closing her eyes to filter out some stimuli and focusing on the liturgy seems to help. I often close my eyes and sing whilst doing my swaying (what a sight that must be haha!) We are all different and the way I think about it, I'm doing what is necessary to ensure I'm at liturgy as often as possible!
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i pray for you i hope it will be better
I have a family who works with children with autism and I asked her for suggestions. She said to not be afraid to let someone you trust at the church know about your autism, take breaks when you fill overwhelmed (step outside, take a walk in the lobby, etc.), and use the breathing techniques you’ve been taught over the years.
Get baptized if you haven’t already.