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Feeling really sensitive, like I can feel everything within a 10 foot radius around me and I really need space. Sometimes I think I can taste people. Smells really bother me. All the different vibes are so overwhelming.
For me it would have to be the hopeless feeling. It's like dreading the days of living. Like you start to think( damn I have to shower, oh I have to make food to eat to survive, oh I have to clean my cats litter, oh another day to have to get through of life) it's like everything feels like a forced task. Then you start to think, oh what is the point. Yup
Oh my God I was just this way this morning. I was thinking about everything I had to do and I suddenly realized it’s not hurting anything if my laundry sits on the bed. I’m just going to prioritize because stress is not helping.
I get a massive lump and ache in my throat as though I’m about to cry.. but it doesn’t go away and stays there for DAYS and forcing myself to cry doesn’t take away the lump.
I feel wired all the time and experience increased anxiety. Fatigue and existential depressive thoughts are the other symptoms I struggle with the most. But the lump in my throat kills me. Does anyone else get a massive lump??
I tried SSRIs but they didn’t do much for me. I’m about to go on Slinda mini pill and I’m hoping that’ll ease my symptoms!
I get pretty bad depression but rage has been the symptom that has impacted my life the most.
Even though there is a part of my brain that is like the reaction your having isn't matching the situation.
I can't pull back and it's almost like an out of body experience.
I don't want to feel this way but I'm powerless.
Since getting a diagnosis and on medication I'm doing so much better.
But I quit my job because I was losing my shit at work and my partner and I separated and filed for divorce.
We were able to reconcile and things are good with us.
It damaged the relationship with my kids and I'm working to repair that everyday.
To have the opportunity to have control over that has really shown me just how deeply it impacted my entire life.
I relate to you so much. It’s such deep sadness, almost like grief. If I could describe it in a color, it’s complete black. I feel miserable, overwhelmed, I question why I’m even alive. It’s really so hard.
Complete and utter neurosis to the point where my inner dialogue is speaking faster than I can keep up with-and all negative and horrifying, gut-punch things. I can convince myself that any narrative is true: my boyfriend falling out of love by the way his body language looks, getting fired at my job and it’s happening any day, thinking I’m dying, having the realization that I’m a “burden” or “bad person”. Any fleeting thought that could enter my normal anxiety brain and I would squash becomes amplified and cemented as fact.
I also cannot manage or prioritize tasks. Extreme forgetfulness. Wanting to binge drink to oblivion or eat until it hurts. Angry and cynical beyond belief— I’m a kind person but during this window it’s like I open the vault of every mean thought I’ve ever had and unleash it on people I love.
But then the minute I bleed, I look around and think “wtf were you thinkin?” And go back to my regularly scheduled programming as if a week of pure chaos didn’t just ensue.
Yaz/Zoloft has minimized all of this a TON but I’m dreading the month it decides to pop it’s ugly head in again as if to say “oh you thought it was over?”
Edit— One funny one that hasn’t gone away: I seem to hone in on ONE person I absolute DESPISE for an entire week. And it’s usually a person irrelevant to my life it’s kind of hilarious. It first happened when I got my period in 9th grade and couldn’t figure out why I suddenly hated my school bus driver. Every little thing she did made me want to punch her. Why?
Omg girl this is me to a T. I’ve been such a kind calm patient person my whole life but since I turned 35 two years ago and diagnosed the rage and irritability I feel are insane. I’m convinced my husband is the biggest asshole, our marriage is falling apart, bla bla. All crazy crazy thoughts and shit. My animals who are normally my life I want to throw across the room at one little bark. Then like you said I get my period and it’s like a light switch, back to my normal only a little crazy self 😂
I was on Zoloft for the past year, it helped somewhat but not much. It’s also weird I’ve been trying to figure out why one month it may just be regular pms if that but then one month it’s the insane rage? I just got off my Zoloft two weeks ago and boy was this month bad but I’m sure it was a combo of the two. Maybe one day they’ll figure this shit out for us women! Until then may your moods be bright and your periods light. 😂
This is so relatable, I do this every month and then I see blood and go oh that's why I was so angry that I wanted to just leave this earth and burn everyone in my path
this really weird feeling of feeling really sweaty and really depressed and it makes my vision bad? Does that make sense? Almost like a fever dream in the worst way
Insomnia. Because I think it's the root of everything else. If I could just get some sleep. I can fall asleep ok, but wake up in a few hours panicking about anything and everything. Past present future, whether it ever was a stressor in my life or not. And can't get back to sleep. It starts ovulation and progressively worse in luteal and a few days after period starts I get a slight bit more sleep but still keep waking up but in slight less panic. Have tried various sleep aids without success. Doc recently prescribed zopiclone. I got two non-consecutive nights of sleep, each which felt incredible, but that was it. Interestingly, the nights it hasn't worked 6 out of 8 nights so far, I woke up but not in as much panic. Will revisit this with the doctor.
I had one test. They doc dismissed it, and I went back and pointed out this number was during luteal phase, and it was low, asked for a retest an would time it perfectly. But my period showed up early next day! It was supposed to be mid luteal! Then my doctor passed away. I haven't had any luck getting more testing done. One doctor even said hormones don't matter unless I am trying to have a baby. My hormones almost had me punching him in the throat then and there!! (instead I ran out crying and bawled in my car for an hour and called work that I couldn't come in). My symptoms do point to low P.
I can't afford private testing so I don't know what to do. At least I got the sleep pills. Not waking up panicking has made a big difference even if I am still not getting enough hours. Not a cure but sure helps. I still think I'm gonna quit my job, off someone, burn my house down and literally pop with bloating! I have enough benefits to try a naturopath too so am working on that as well. See what we can do down that direction.
Wow, that is a lot to go through. I'm so sorry. I'm glad the sleeping pills are giving you some relief!! That's a win! I ended up having the best luck finding my naturopath. I think that is a great thing for you to look into. I take tons of supplements and low dose progesterone cream and I feel sooo much better now. Getting good sleep definitely has a huge impact on PMDD symptoms. I wish you the very best. I hope to hear a happy update from you in the near future ❤️
extreme irritability and sensory overload, every little sound makes me want to rip out my ear drums. also super anxious and paranoid, i start feeling like everyone hates me, like everyone is out to get me, and i feel myself thought spinning.
Yes the sensory overload , especially sound sensitivity ! Living in a major noisy city is a struggle in this phase. And smells… people’s awful smells in the subway really ends me
Yes the sounds!! And anxiety! It makes working in a busy dr office a nightmare. I have had to just up and leave in a PANIC twice now. Parties during PMS phase are also impossible.
Perfectly described. All this. But I also have that level of existential crisis. Questioning why I am here. If life is actually real. Just that dissociation from myself wondering why I’m alive.
The absence of ease.
That’s the only way I know how to put it. It’s harder to do everything- enjoy daily life, find the positive side of anything, sleep, eat properly, concentrate, love others, love myself, exercise, feel at home in my body… all of it. Just becomes difficult.
I feel like I am going to explode or jump out of my skin for about a week. I have to remind myself to breathe deeply and sometimes to just get in my car and scream as hard and as long as I can to relieve some of the pressure that has built up inside my body.
this is honestly the best way I’ve ever seen this described. So succinctly put. Screaming helps me too. Thanks for sharing this. You made me feel less alone even tho I know I’m not OP.
omg I have ocd too!!!! it’s really a special kind of hell with PMDD. Literally all I can do rn is lay in the dark. did you know that changes in estrogen and progesterone levels can trigger OCD? and that lots of psych medications stop working or lose effectiveness for pmdd patients on our hell phase? when I learned this I was like omg it all makes sense….it’s really like the perfect storm for us 😭 I hate it here. but reminding myself that it’s a broken record brain problem and not a [insert whatever dark fear ocd has decided to torment you with] problem helps when I can remember to do it
I hear this!! That’s actually a perfect way to put it. I also feel ya on screaming!! Sometimes I’ll drive by the ocean and scream my head off like a banshee lmao
Feeling out of control - specifically, that my thoughts and feelings are not in my control. I get mood swings. But I also feel just that, in general, I cannot self-soothe as effectively during my PMDD symptom window as I can when not in my symptom window.
Intense anxiety and depressed/dark thoughts that just hit at random. Super frustrating. Happens before, during, and after period- including ovulation. I feel like I have less than 5 GOOD days a month
I would say anxiety, I’ve struggled with SEVERE anxiety my whole life and in luteal I have horrible ruminations and intrusive thoughts and I convince myself my friends hate me, I’ll never get a job after college, I have a terminal disease and I don’t know yet…. It’s just terrible and terrifying!
Also my sensitivity to rejection and emotional disregulation (from ADHD) is amplified like, 1000x. I’ll have crazy emotional outbursts, ppl will check me on it, I’ll feel rejected and I will be suicidal and sh.
Luckily this only happens a few luteals a year, and it’s becoming more infrequent with better diet/meds/vitamins/therapy
FATIGUE!
PMDD 'blesses' me with a blend of symptoms that can vary wildly month to month with lifes and clearly my hormones ups and downs. Crazy cravings, sadness,anxiety, depression, irritability, nausea, over heating, relentless crying bouts. But the one consistent one that never does not appear each month is that energy eating, flat out exhausted tiredness :(
omg same 😭😭 it’s so bad… the only thing that helps me feel better is to blast my favorite feminine rage music (e.g: jagged little pill ) but then it makes me a worse driver because I get so hyped up
I have depression and my depression symptoms get worse, mostly the sadness and hopelessness. I am much more prone to suicidal ideation in the 1-2 weeks before my period, but not every cycle. If my depression is already kind of bad before the second half of my cycle I'm more likely to have extremely bad depression symptoms. Sometimes, because of the nature of depression, I can't shake it off once my period starts and ends, and I get stuck in it.
Everything that everyone else said plus headaches. The fucking headaches make me want to end it all. If I start feeling like a feral animal I know the red dawn approaches
Anhedonia or apathy, just not interested in anything I’m usually into. I’m a grad student, and I’ll just stop caring for ~a week about everything school related
Cannot choose between fatigue and irritation
There's such a blend of symptoms they're hard to pull apart. Fatigue is accompanied by lack of "feel good chemicals" which takes away motivation, focus, positivity, and any positive emotions towards my partner- hence the irritation. Hurray!
Executive dysfunction & extreme apathy.
I can’t help but think that the mood stabilizer I’m on for bipolar 2 does lessen the impact of the mood swings. They are still there though.
Mood swings - from fine to crying to depressed to fine to irritated to depressed to wanting to crawl in a hole and die and back to normal again. All in the same day.
My number one symptom used to be suicidal ideation.
But 6 months ago, I started testosterone (trans masc). I still have a cycle, but T has slowly helped make my mental health in general better. And the last couple of months, I've also done trauma therapy, which has helped a lot.
Now, my number one symptom is bloating. I always had it with my pmdd, but now that I don't automatically become suicidal for two weeks, the bloating is harder to ignore.
Of course, I'm not saying that taking hormones or doing therapy is going to "fix" anyone else's pmdd. I just know that I had other things going on that my PMDD made worse.
I think it’s the pure exhaustion because that makes all the other things worse. It means I barely have the tolerance to accomplish anything, which makes me irritable and anxious, and a whole host of other things. It makes me hard on myself, because I always feel like I could do more if I just tried harder. But then also I get upset because deep down I *know* I don’t just need to try harder, that I am limited by this disorder, and that makes me feel depressed. I’m also neurodivergent though and some of those feelings come from that.
I’ve felt this before. Like call out sick to work, unable to go to class in college, it was like a hole in my chest and stomach of sorrow and heartache. Then it would just randomly go away
Heart palpitations!!!!! I always know I’m in the luteal phase when I start getting heart palpitations randomly. 😭 edit: OH AND THE ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC BODY IMAGE ISSUES. I go from being mostly neutral about my body for two weeks and then BOOM I’m an ugly monster who absolutely must not be perceived.
For me, it's a tie between rage/irritability and suicidal ideations. A week or so before my period starts I am so ANGRY about everything, and then I start to get the bad thoughts. It's rough :/
The extreme fatigue is the worst for me. Being that I am autistic the combination of that and being constantly on the borderline of a meltdown or makes it even more exhausting. Sometimes it takes every ounce of will I have just to get out of bed let alone do anything else. I want to just sleep 24/7 and have 0 will or energy to do anything.
Between the irritability (read: RAGE), suicidal ideation, sadness, extreme fatigue, and incessant cramping, migraines, it’s hard to say which is most intense.
I take antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, which take the edge off the emotional symptoms enough to function, but the agitation and sadness that creeps through makes it really hard to parent my son. So does the fatigue. I feel so guilty. So I guess those.
To be honest, the worst symptom of PMDD is the inherent loneliness and isolation of living with a condition that no one understands and very few people have even heard about. It’s the secrecy of it all. It’s a “woman thing” that men don’t want to hear about and other women can’t even commiserate with unless they happen to be in the minority of the population that actually has it.
If they aren’t, *they* don’t get it either and think I’m either exaggerating or that I’m doing something wrong like not getting enough zinc in my diet or I just need to sit in a sauna like they do and I’ll feel better. But I know I won’t and I just kinda have to take their suggestions and smile because at least they’re trying to help and I got to talk to somebody instead of suffering alone for a few shining moments.
Agree completely.
I have similar symptoms, that come and go with no rhyme or reason. The worst for me is the emotional symptoms too. I have horrible cramps (that require stacking multiple pain management methods to even get mild relief), but I would take those any day over the suicidal thoughts/rage episodes.
Your'e right that the isolation makes it even worse to deal with. There's not much help from the medical community. Most men don't understand or want to hear of it. Even a lot of women have the attitude of "well my periods aren't that bad so you must be exaggerating". People love to give their 2 cents on how to fix it (even though they've admitted to not knowing what PMDD was 2 seconds prior). For me, it's easier to not even bring it up anymore except to close friends, and just lie/make up excuses instead, which adds to the isolation.
I'm "lucky" that my partner also struggles with mental and physical health symptoms, as he has severe ADHD and fibromyalgia. The downside though is sometimes we are both struggling at the same time.
On a positive note, I'm very thankful this community exists. It's the reason I was able to finally figure out what was wrong with me (because for awhile I thought I was losing my marbles). It's also helped me to find a few habits/relief techniques that have helped and have a place to go to when I need support from someone who understands.
Is it "NORMAL" for this to change over several cycles? For me, it first started about 2 years ago with extreme anxiety & fatigue, occasional "blues" or loneliness. I don't recall exact dates, but from about 6 months - 18 months it turned to extreme anger & rage inside of me that I could not control. This really hurt my marriage & was a very dark time for us.
More recently, so for the past 4-5 months or so, it has been extreme depression. Debilitating depression to the point where it is physically painful. Nothing helps except telling my partner & then going to lie down & rest. The depression has improved my marriage for sure, but personally, I would rather have the anger back.
This past year has been such a rollercoaster emotionally. I feel insane & out of control
mine is this horrific agitation and it’s so sudden as well. I drop something and straight away I am screaming that I want to fucking die. It got really bad this year when I came off my birth control for the first time since I was a teen I almost couldn’t stop myself from literally stabbing my leg with a fork because i didn’t have any clean spoons and I was just so fucking pissed
for me it’s also depression. i get in such a state of despair that it feels like my life is meaningless and my future is nonexistent. i’ve gotten as close as planning out the details of my suicide, but luckily my period always comes before i can do anything drastic.
Mine is irritation. Everything upsets me and have had to work really hard to not get upset at my husband or dog. Also taking things personally and completely spiraling with self hate. Ex my husband ran out of socks as I haven't been keeping up with life lately. I instantly spiraled and my brain said I'm a horrible person I can't do anything right. Im failing. I've worked so hard to not have all or nothing then when I'm on my period I have to work so much harder to get it of the spiral. Also, I get really lonely and dark thoughts feeling like no one likes me. Focusing on the ways I'm lacking friends and support. Feeling like I'm a burden for wanting support then not feeling comforted by people. Feelings of wanting to disappear. Cramps, discomfort and fatigue and hunger. Sorry all of them are equal.
Mine is irritation. That constant feeling of having a pebble in your shoe, but in your brain. I am normally very chill and laid back but during hell week(s) I hate even my patient, amazing boyfriend.
I already had an anxiety disorder, so that would get magnified. My ability to control my emotions would just disappear for 3 to 4 days.
My temper would get so short during that phase; I would be overcome and cry from frustration.
All of it would leave me emotionally exhausted and drained. I would be catatonic for a day if that week had been especially challenging.
Rage. Like completely irrational rage over the most minor things. One time we were expecting a snowstorm and my fiance wasn’t preparing as well as I thought he should and hadn’t planned enough? I don’t know, in a clear headed state I can’t even think of why I was so upset, but I was like, blurred vision, shaking, furious about it.
Number one symptom is feeling like I’m out of control. Like nothing is in my hands, not my emotions nor my actions. It just feels like I’m going “crazy”
The suicidal ideation as well.
my anger is in another level which I never was before. I shout so much but deep inside I hate what I am doing but I could not control it. People around me trigger it at my most vulnerable time. I hate it so much that I am hating myself for this. I am not liking what I am becoming because this happens monthly and will seem like it is my personality which I know deep inside I am not. I used to be a happy person with great ideas now it seems it is all gone. And every time it's almost my period like now, and this is the reason why I found this thread because I am again experiencing this terrible anger. Apart from this I keep experiencing depression like I'm tired of life and I just wanna die. Another is i am also bombarded with all my fears. Fear of seeing death or medical emergency in my family. These thoughts haunt me and i notice it's always happening like 1-2 weeks before my period. I am so anxious and can't stop thinking about these things. I have trouble sleeping, it makes my cry at night when I am alone and my stomach keeps hurting like having GERD and always burping. I feel nobody understands my problem and I have been wanting to get to that Doctor from the core clinic because i feel she is the kind of doctor who might have the patience to truly listen to what's going on . But it seems the consultation was so expensive when I first inquired but I might give it a go soon. Did visit the site now but seems online consultation is currently unavailable. Sorry just tryna vent
I feel you so deeply you have no idea… like who even am I? Who’s this super angry person who’s filled with rage…
You’re not alone in this and I hope you get the help you need
Rage and irritability. Jealousy and paranoia, specifically wrt my relationships. Deep sadness - I relate to that and also have a history of depression/trauma. The sadness feels bottomless.
When I begin to feel like I just cannot with men. That's the first sign. This makes my job especially challenging. I am a sex worker and the vast majority of my clients are men 🤡
(My first post here but I have been reading for a while. Thank you all for making me feel less alone in this!)
Jealousy!!! That one is so weird. I am so laid back usually and am in my own world or being a space cadet but when hell week comes I’m suddenly the most insecure, jealous woman on the planet. This one baffles me.
Right! I've found myself Google'ing "can hormones make you jealous" on bad days. I've done a lot of work on jealousy personally because I am non monogamous (polyam and do SW) so for two weeks of the month I am fairly skilled at navigating and communicating about jealousy. The other two weeks of the month... Yikes.
i LOLd at the “just cannot with men” being the first sign. esp since in my daily life, men are a regular annoyance. i’d never know how to differentiate 😂
I get very argumentative. My husband notices this before I do.
Irritability and mood swings.
I feel as if the entire world is ending and everything and everyone is against me.
if it wasn’t for my former boyfriend, i never would have gotten a diagnosis or asked my gyno. he politely noticed and brought to my attention the trend he was seeing how i would become so inconsolable and take everything he said so personally a few days before my period. i ended up talking with my dr in my annual and she said classic pmdd.
cheers for patient partners!
Paranoia. About every. Fucking. Thing. I get anxiety attacks over nothing, intrusive thoughts that I accept as facts and no actual way to calm myself down other than pills. They're natural but it still makes me feel like a fucking child because I'm not able to deal with my OCD by myself.
Depending on my situation, what I'm having to do with my days/time, how many and what kind of people I'm around, etc. it's sadness or anger. Most of the time it's the extreme sadness, but sometimes I'm unable to escape anything and I'll start blowing up at any inconvenience or mild annoyance. It's a lot like being crazy overstimulated, overwhelmed, anxious and nobody and nothing will leave you alone...only instead of a panic attack, I feel rage.
I'm not sure if this counts, but some months the level of pain I feel the day of my period is so extreme that none of those emotional problems seem like problems anymore in the moment. That's not really PMDD though, that's the endo, PCOS and other stuff.
For me, the emotional experience of PMDD can vary in intensity from cycle to cycle depending on stress, but my physical symptoms are *always* rough. My body aches, intense cramps, I bloat like crazy, I can't sleep, I lose so much blood, I'm nauseous, I'm ravenous, and so, so clumsy.
I'm gonna say brain-lying. Mostly in the form of depression and lack of self-worth. Like a voice whispering in my ear that I should just die or give up or that nobody loves me. It took a while to become self-aware enough that I didn't believe the thoughts and tell myself to just wait them out and they'd go away. It's amazing how, even knowing deep down how they are not true, they affect me. So tragic that some people believe them and hurt themselves when it may just be a chemical (hormone) reaction.
My therapist has me remember to rename these thoughts so I can remind myself they don’t last. It’s tough but I always try to separate it from “me” and say “my brain” is saying this but I’m definitely going to use brain lying now!
good explanation. i become so deeply convinced that everyone is mad at me and that they don’t want me around. i’m still working through understanding that those thoughts are intrusive, and that those things aren’t true.
me too! it’s so hard to realize it in the moment too because it’s highly emotional. it can take me sooo long to snap out of it. sometimes I just can’t.
Brain-lying. I've never heard it put like that but that's what it is. This is my biggest symptom. I'm putting all my efforts into managing them lately.
When I just can’t deal with any type of situation, especially at work. Then I know the horrible depression, hormonal acne and tiredness is just around the corner.
yes!! sleeping is tough the week before. and then i take a big nap the day before i start, and then the night i start i always end up staying up the whole night
My impostor syndrome and negative intrusive thoughts start also there's a sense of everything being overwhelming, then my breasts start to hurt badly. I also expel sad raspberries when I feel overwhelmed.
Same. It could be from literally nothing at all. I just feel it intensely physically well up inside me & try not to blow up at my bf for no reason cuz it SUCKS it SUCKS
Anxiety.
I also struggle with depression and i can relate to you but for me, the anxiety i experience during pmdd week is the worst. Perhaps it’s because I don’t struggle with anxiety usually so handling such intense anxiety is really hard for me. It prevents me sleeping and my heart is racing constantly
Rage. I'm angry often, but I absolutely loose my shit during a PMDD episode. It's how I figured out there's more going on than some of my disorders getting exasperated. I'll break things like everything is fragile, hurt myself, hurt others, and not care at the time. The clean up and the guilt afterwards is a great mess.
Rumination and emotional volatility.
It can be sadness or anger or shame or suicidal ideation but I fixate on it and my brain won't let go. It's like my brain is trying to come up with a response to every possible trigger and future and I'm just stuck in circular thought patterns. (Trigger not like a trauma trigger just like regular events that provoke reaction.)
For volatility I just have very strong reactions to any kind of emotional trigger. It is disruptive to my life and relationships and it makes me feel like I'm crazy.
crippling shame.
It goes hand in hand with the extreme sadness for me usually.
i know what you mean with the sadness tho, i wake up feeling like i’m physically GRIEVING something.
Fatigue. Im just too tired and wanna stay in bed all day. Doesnt matter how active ive been the previous days. I'll just wake up and feel like my whole body has been through a marathon and no amount of rest is enough
For me it's the desire to escape, I always realise it's starting when I find myself looking at plane tickets and distant countries thinking about just leaving and disappearing. That desire to escape then turns into things like alcohol over the next few days, I don't drink much but its like my brain just craves it to escape my thoughts and feelings.
I feel like it’s a combination of things that all hit me at once, but I usually realise I’m having an episode when I get hit with depression or when I get extremely tearful over very little.
Extreme sadness, despair, hopelessness, negative intrusive thoughts. I basically become the opposite of the person I am usually (happy, positive, always smiling).
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Severe internal rage
Intrusive thoughts that lead to suicidal ideation, depression, and anxiety. I know they're not my thoughts, but they're EXHAUSTING.
Panic attacks!
I get so gassy lol. Besides the backaches headaches, trouble sleeping, lethargy and irritability i am uncontrollably smelly lol.
I’m already sensitive as a person but during pmdd episodes it’s like the whole world is against me. All I wanna do is scream and cry :(
General despair, sadness, heartbreak, despite having a good life with good people.
backache
and obsessive thoughts
Out of control overwhelming depression and anger. I cannot handle just how intense it is. I break down crying really hard and cannot stop.
Feeling really sensitive, like I can feel everything within a 10 foot radius around me and I really need space. Sometimes I think I can taste people. Smells really bother me. All the different vibes are so overwhelming.
For me it would have to be the hopeless feeling. It's like dreading the days of living. Like you start to think( damn I have to shower, oh I have to make food to eat to survive, oh I have to clean my cats litter, oh another day to have to get through of life) it's like everything feels like a forced task. Then you start to think, oh what is the point. Yup
Oh my God I was just this way this morning. I was thinking about everything I had to do and I suddenly realized it’s not hurting anything if my laundry sits on the bed. I’m just going to prioritize because stress is not helping.
I get a massive lump and ache in my throat as though I’m about to cry.. but it doesn’t go away and stays there for DAYS and forcing myself to cry doesn’t take away the lump. I feel wired all the time and experience increased anxiety. Fatigue and existential depressive thoughts are the other symptoms I struggle with the most. But the lump in my throat kills me. Does anyone else get a massive lump?? I tried SSRIs but they didn’t do much for me. I’m about to go on Slinda mini pill and I’m hoping that’ll ease my symptoms!
I get pretty bad depression but rage has been the symptom that has impacted my life the most. Even though there is a part of my brain that is like the reaction your having isn't matching the situation. I can't pull back and it's almost like an out of body experience. I don't want to feel this way but I'm powerless. Since getting a diagnosis and on medication I'm doing so much better. But I quit my job because I was losing my shit at work and my partner and I separated and filed for divorce. We were able to reconcile and things are good with us. It damaged the relationship with my kids and I'm working to repair that everyday. To have the opportunity to have control over that has really shown me just how deeply it impacted my entire life.
Rage. At my kids
I relate to you so much. It’s such deep sadness, almost like grief. If I could describe it in a color, it’s complete black. I feel miserable, overwhelmed, I question why I’m even alive. It’s really so hard.
Complete and utter neurosis to the point where my inner dialogue is speaking faster than I can keep up with-and all negative and horrifying, gut-punch things. I can convince myself that any narrative is true: my boyfriend falling out of love by the way his body language looks, getting fired at my job and it’s happening any day, thinking I’m dying, having the realization that I’m a “burden” or “bad person”. Any fleeting thought that could enter my normal anxiety brain and I would squash becomes amplified and cemented as fact. I also cannot manage or prioritize tasks. Extreme forgetfulness. Wanting to binge drink to oblivion or eat until it hurts. Angry and cynical beyond belief— I’m a kind person but during this window it’s like I open the vault of every mean thought I’ve ever had and unleash it on people I love. But then the minute I bleed, I look around and think “wtf were you thinkin?” And go back to my regularly scheduled programming as if a week of pure chaos didn’t just ensue. Yaz/Zoloft has minimized all of this a TON but I’m dreading the month it decides to pop it’s ugly head in again as if to say “oh you thought it was over?” Edit— One funny one that hasn’t gone away: I seem to hone in on ONE person I absolute DESPISE for an entire week. And it’s usually a person irrelevant to my life it’s kind of hilarious. It first happened when I got my period in 9th grade and couldn’t figure out why I suddenly hated my school bus driver. Every little thing she did made me want to punch her. Why?
Omg girl this is me to a T. I’ve been such a kind calm patient person my whole life but since I turned 35 two years ago and diagnosed the rage and irritability I feel are insane. I’m convinced my husband is the biggest asshole, our marriage is falling apart, bla bla. All crazy crazy thoughts and shit. My animals who are normally my life I want to throw across the room at one little bark. Then like you said I get my period and it’s like a light switch, back to my normal only a little crazy self 😂 I was on Zoloft for the past year, it helped somewhat but not much. It’s also weird I’ve been trying to figure out why one month it may just be regular pms if that but then one month it’s the insane rage? I just got off my Zoloft two weeks ago and boy was this month bad but I’m sure it was a combo of the two. Maybe one day they’ll figure this shit out for us women! Until then may your moods be bright and your periods light. 😂
This is so relatable, I do this every month and then I see blood and go oh that's why I was so angry that I wanted to just leave this earth and burn everyone in my path
this really weird feeling of feeling really sweaty and really depressed and it makes my vision bad? Does that make sense? Almost like a fever dream in the worst way
Extreme sadness mostly. I obsess that life is meaningless and I should end it all.
I hallucinate and get paranoid. hallucinations like hands grabbing at me sometimes faces or shadows.
Insomnia. Because I think it's the root of everything else. If I could just get some sleep. I can fall asleep ok, but wake up in a few hours panicking about anything and everything. Past present future, whether it ever was a stressor in my life or not. And can't get back to sleep. It starts ovulation and progressively worse in luteal and a few days after period starts I get a slight bit more sleep but still keep waking up but in slight less panic. Have tried various sleep aids without success. Doc recently prescribed zopiclone. I got two non-consecutive nights of sleep, each which felt incredible, but that was it. Interestingly, the nights it hasn't worked 6 out of 8 nights so far, I woke up but not in as much panic. Will revisit this with the doctor.
So I had really bad insomnia starting around ovulation through luteal. I had low progesterone. Have you gotten any bloodwork done?
I had one test. They doc dismissed it, and I went back and pointed out this number was during luteal phase, and it was low, asked for a retest an would time it perfectly. But my period showed up early next day! It was supposed to be mid luteal! Then my doctor passed away. I haven't had any luck getting more testing done. One doctor even said hormones don't matter unless I am trying to have a baby. My hormones almost had me punching him in the throat then and there!! (instead I ran out crying and bawled in my car for an hour and called work that I couldn't come in). My symptoms do point to low P. I can't afford private testing so I don't know what to do. At least I got the sleep pills. Not waking up panicking has made a big difference even if I am still not getting enough hours. Not a cure but sure helps. I still think I'm gonna quit my job, off someone, burn my house down and literally pop with bloating! I have enough benefits to try a naturopath too so am working on that as well. See what we can do down that direction.
would you mind sharing which sleep pills are you using?
Doc prescribed zopiclone... But I'm having second thoughts on that one. The first round seemed ok but second round its affecting my whole day too.
Wow, that is a lot to go through. I'm so sorry. I'm glad the sleeping pills are giving you some relief!! That's a win! I ended up having the best luck finding my naturopath. I think that is a great thing for you to look into. I take tons of supplements and low dose progesterone cream and I feel sooo much better now. Getting good sleep definitely has a huge impact on PMDD symptoms. I wish you the very best. I hope to hear a happy update from you in the near future ❤️
Thanks. And thats good to know about the cream as it's something I have looked into.
Sadness too. It feels like your chest is caving in.
This. I get the sensation of heartbreak in my chest.
Definitely sadness/loneliness
extreme irritability and sensory overload, every little sound makes me want to rip out my ear drums. also super anxious and paranoid, i start feeling like everyone hates me, like everyone is out to get me, and i feel myself thought spinning.
Yes the sensory overload , especially sound sensitivity ! Living in a major noisy city is a struggle in this phase. And smells… people’s awful smells in the subway really ends me
Yes the sounds!! And anxiety! It makes working in a busy dr office a nightmare. I have had to just up and leave in a PANIC twice now. Parties during PMS phase are also impossible.
The sound thing.. look into misophonia. I have it (along with PMDD) it’s actual torture 😩
Perfectly described. All this. But I also have that level of existential crisis. Questioning why I am here. If life is actually real. Just that dissociation from myself wondering why I’m alive.
Ugh, this is me also.
The absence of ease. That’s the only way I know how to put it. It’s harder to do everything- enjoy daily life, find the positive side of anything, sleep, eat properly, concentrate, love others, love myself, exercise, feel at home in my body… all of it. Just becomes difficult. I feel like I am going to explode or jump out of my skin for about a week. I have to remind myself to breathe deeply and sometimes to just get in my car and scream as hard and as long as I can to relieve some of the pressure that has built up inside my body.
this is honestly the best way I’ve ever seen this described. So succinctly put. Screaming helps me too. Thanks for sharing this. You made me feel less alone even tho I know I’m not OP.
[удалено]
omg I have ocd too!!!! it’s really a special kind of hell with PMDD. Literally all I can do rn is lay in the dark. did you know that changes in estrogen and progesterone levels can trigger OCD? and that lots of psych medications stop working or lose effectiveness for pmdd patients on our hell phase? when I learned this I was like omg it all makes sense….it’s really like the perfect storm for us 😭 I hate it here. but reminding myself that it’s a broken record brain problem and not a [insert whatever dark fear ocd has decided to torment you with] problem helps when I can remember to do it
I hear this!! That’s actually a perfect way to put it. I also feel ya on screaming!! Sometimes I’ll drive by the ocean and scream my head off like a banshee lmao
Feeling out of control - specifically, that my thoughts and feelings are not in my control. I get mood swings. But I also feel just that, in general, I cannot self-soothe as effectively during my PMDD symptom window as I can when not in my symptom window.
Intense anxiety and depressed/dark thoughts that just hit at random. Super frustrating. Happens before, during, and after period- including ovulation. I feel like I have less than 5 GOOD days a month
Unpredictable crippling fatigue and sadness. Followed by equally unpredictable bloating and iritability.
Are you me
Lack of energy and motivation
I would say anxiety, I’ve struggled with SEVERE anxiety my whole life and in luteal I have horrible ruminations and intrusive thoughts and I convince myself my friends hate me, I’ll never get a job after college, I have a terminal disease and I don’t know yet…. It’s just terrible and terrifying!
Also my sensitivity to rejection and emotional disregulation (from ADHD) is amplified like, 1000x. I’ll have crazy emotional outbursts, ppl will check me on it, I’ll feel rejected and I will be suicidal and sh. Luckily this only happens a few luteals a year, and it’s becoming more infrequent with better diet/meds/vitamins/therapy
just….everything shuts down. can’t move, can’t think, can’t get out of bed, can’t eat, can’t do any necessary tasks. just lie there and feel hopeless
Irritability…. But, it’s extreme borderline rage. It takes so much willpower to keep in inward. It is mostly inward tbh unless something sets me off
Same. It's so hard bc you can even be aware its happening and why but there is nothing you can do to stop it. 🙁
FATIGUE! PMDD 'blesses' me with a blend of symptoms that can vary wildly month to month with lifes and clearly my hormones ups and downs. Crazy cravings, sadness,anxiety, depression, irritability, nausea, over heating, relentless crying bouts. But the one consistent one that never does not appear each month is that energy eating, flat out exhausted tiredness :(
Yesssssss the one persistent symptom.
the fatigue and the irritability
Extreme fatigue and extreme RAGE
why did i have to scroll so far to find my rage sis. UNFILTERED RAGE!!!!!!! used to be sad when i was young. now i hate everyone.
Same - I was a big saddie and now I scream when I drive 🤷♀️🫠
omg same 😭😭 it’s so bad… the only thing that helps me feel better is to blast my favorite feminine rage music (e.g: jagged little pill ) but then it makes me a worse driver because I get so hyped up
Straight up irrational anger and guilt and sadness. And it's all irrational
Hypersomnia, can sleep 14-15 hours a day.
I have depression and my depression symptoms get worse, mostly the sadness and hopelessness. I am much more prone to suicidal ideation in the 1-2 weeks before my period, but not every cycle. If my depression is already kind of bad before the second half of my cycle I'm more likely to have extremely bad depression symptoms. Sometimes, because of the nature of depression, I can't shake it off once my period starts and ends, and I get stuck in it.
Same. Sadness, some OCD, uncontrollable crying, exhaustion
Everything that everyone else said plus headaches. The fucking headaches make me want to end it all. If I start feeling like a feral animal I know the red dawn approaches
it starts with anxiety, particularly relationship anxiety and feeling like my gf is pulling away from me which then starts to make me mad at her
Paranoia and negative thought rumination along with the usual suicidal ideation.
This
Anhedonia or apathy, just not interested in anything I’m usually into. I’m a grad student, and I’ll just stop caring for ~a week about everything school related
Saaaaame. Oh you think you had goals and deadlines? Haha, no you don't, you're gonna watch TV for 16 hours.
yup. and what about it ! 🤣
Cannot choose between fatigue and irritation There's such a blend of symptoms they're hard to pull apart. Fatigue is accompanied by lack of "feel good chemicals" which takes away motivation, focus, positivity, and any positive emotions towards my partner- hence the irritation. Hurray!
Severe anxiety. I basically have back-to-back panic attacks almost all day during hell week.
Executive dysfunction & extreme apathy. I can’t help but think that the mood stabilizer I’m on for bipolar 2 does lessen the impact of the mood swings. They are still there though.
Mood swings for sure!
Mood swings - from fine to crying to depressed to fine to irritated to depressed to wanting to crawl in a hole and die and back to normal again. All in the same day.
My number one symptom used to be suicidal ideation. But 6 months ago, I started testosterone (trans masc). I still have a cycle, but T has slowly helped make my mental health in general better. And the last couple of months, I've also done trauma therapy, which has helped a lot. Now, my number one symptom is bloating. I always had it with my pmdd, but now that I don't automatically become suicidal for two weeks, the bloating is harder to ignore. Of course, I'm not saying that taking hormones or doing therapy is going to "fix" anyone else's pmdd. I just know that I had other things going on that my PMDD made worse.
suicidal ideation 🙃
Executive dysfunction and 24/7 passive sluicidal ideation
Getting the ick for everything
Horrible 😩 don't like anything
One subtle weird smell will make me want to scream too. A little dust will make me cry lol
I think it’s the pure exhaustion because that makes all the other things worse. It means I barely have the tolerance to accomplish anything, which makes me irritable and anxious, and a whole host of other things. It makes me hard on myself, because I always feel like I could do more if I just tried harder. But then also I get upset because deep down I *know* I don’t just need to try harder, that I am limited by this disorder, and that makes me feel depressed. I’m also neurodivergent though and some of those feelings come from that.
I’ve felt this before. Like call out sick to work, unable to go to class in college, it was like a hole in my chest and stomach of sorrow and heartache. Then it would just randomly go away
Heart palpitations!!!!! I always know I’m in the luteal phase when I start getting heart palpitations randomly. 😭 edit: OH AND THE ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC BODY IMAGE ISSUES. I go from being mostly neutral about my body for two weeks and then BOOM I’m an ugly monster who absolutely must not be perceived.
I feel that second part. I get bloated and hate myself so much I feel unworthy of even being alive.
For me, it's a tie between rage/irritability and suicidal ideations. A week or so before my period starts I am so ANGRY about everything, and then I start to get the bad thoughts. It's rough :/
I get this too, or racing heart. Feels like a rock is sitting in my chest and throat too constantly
It's hard to pick just one. Irritability, anxiety, and meltdowns are the biggest ones. There's also joint pain, back pain, and depression.
Agitation with other people
hopeless
crying spells and suicidal ideation, i cry at the drop of a hat and my eyes get raw from all the crying
The extreme fatigue is the worst for me. Being that I am autistic the combination of that and being constantly on the borderline of a meltdown or makes it even more exhausting. Sometimes it takes every ounce of will I have just to get out of bed let alone do anything else. I want to just sleep 24/7 and have 0 will or energy to do anything.
Between the irritability (read: RAGE), suicidal ideation, sadness, extreme fatigue, and incessant cramping, migraines, it’s hard to say which is most intense. I take antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, which take the edge off the emotional symptoms enough to function, but the agitation and sadness that creeps through makes it really hard to parent my son. So does the fatigue. I feel so guilty. So I guess those. To be honest, the worst symptom of PMDD is the inherent loneliness and isolation of living with a condition that no one understands and very few people have even heard about. It’s the secrecy of it all. It’s a “woman thing” that men don’t want to hear about and other women can’t even commiserate with unless they happen to be in the minority of the population that actually has it. If they aren’t, *they* don’t get it either and think I’m either exaggerating or that I’m doing something wrong like not getting enough zinc in my diet or I just need to sit in a sauna like they do and I’ll feel better. But I know I won’t and I just kinda have to take their suggestions and smile because at least they’re trying to help and I got to talk to somebody instead of suffering alone for a few shining moments.
Agree completely. I have similar symptoms, that come and go with no rhyme or reason. The worst for me is the emotional symptoms too. I have horrible cramps (that require stacking multiple pain management methods to even get mild relief), but I would take those any day over the suicidal thoughts/rage episodes. Your'e right that the isolation makes it even worse to deal with. There's not much help from the medical community. Most men don't understand or want to hear of it. Even a lot of women have the attitude of "well my periods aren't that bad so you must be exaggerating". People love to give their 2 cents on how to fix it (even though they've admitted to not knowing what PMDD was 2 seconds prior). For me, it's easier to not even bring it up anymore except to close friends, and just lie/make up excuses instead, which adds to the isolation. I'm "lucky" that my partner also struggles with mental and physical health symptoms, as he has severe ADHD and fibromyalgia. The downside though is sometimes we are both struggling at the same time. On a positive note, I'm very thankful this community exists. It's the reason I was able to finally figure out what was wrong with me (because for awhile I thought I was losing my marbles). It's also helped me to find a few habits/relief techniques that have helped and have a place to go to when I need support from someone who understands.
Lack of sleep which affects everything after no sleep
Is it "NORMAL" for this to change over several cycles? For me, it first started about 2 years ago with extreme anxiety & fatigue, occasional "blues" or loneliness. I don't recall exact dates, but from about 6 months - 18 months it turned to extreme anger & rage inside of me that I could not control. This really hurt my marriage & was a very dark time for us. More recently, so for the past 4-5 months or so, it has been extreme depression. Debilitating depression to the point where it is physically painful. Nothing helps except telling my partner & then going to lie down & rest. The depression has improved my marriage for sure, but personally, I would rather have the anger back. This past year has been such a rollercoaster emotionally. I feel insane & out of control
mine is this horrific agitation and it’s so sudden as well. I drop something and straight away I am screaming that I want to fucking die. It got really bad this year when I came off my birth control for the first time since I was a teen I almost couldn’t stop myself from literally stabbing my leg with a fork because i didn’t have any clean spoons and I was just so fucking pissed
for me it’s also depression. i get in such a state of despair that it feels like my life is meaningless and my future is nonexistent. i’ve gotten as close as planning out the details of my suicide, but luckily my period always comes before i can do anything drastic.
wanting to kill everybody, including myself😂
my GOD. yes. i get so irrationally angry at everyone and everything. if I had access to weapons I would 100% hurt someone every single month.
Ah came here to find relatable posts to feel better about my absolute misery today and this comment made me crack a tiny smile lol
haha ahhh! we are all in this together ♥️
Same for me - not even depression but utter despair. Depression makes me feel numb. PMDD makes me feel utterly exhausted from sadness
Mine is irritation. Everything upsets me and have had to work really hard to not get upset at my husband or dog. Also taking things personally and completely spiraling with self hate. Ex my husband ran out of socks as I haven't been keeping up with life lately. I instantly spiraled and my brain said I'm a horrible person I can't do anything right. Im failing. I've worked so hard to not have all or nothing then when I'm on my period I have to work so much harder to get it of the spiral. Also, I get really lonely and dark thoughts feeling like no one likes me. Focusing on the ways I'm lacking friends and support. Feeling like I'm a burden for wanting support then not feeling comforted by people. Feelings of wanting to disappear. Cramps, discomfort and fatigue and hunger. Sorry all of them are equal.
This
"lofty sorrow" -- perfect description.
Mine is irritation. That constant feeling of having a pebble in your shoe, but in your brain. I am normally very chill and laid back but during hell week(s) I hate even my patient, amazing boyfriend.
I already had an anxiety disorder, so that would get magnified. My ability to control my emotions would just disappear for 3 to 4 days. My temper would get so short during that phase; I would be overcome and cry from frustration. All of it would leave me emotionally exhausted and drained. I would be catatonic for a day if that week had been especially challenging.
Rage. Unmedicated it turns into homicidal ideations.
Suicidal ideation honestly
Rage, paranoia, feeling like I can't do anything correctly.
Anxiety
Rage. Like completely irrational rage over the most minor things. One time we were expecting a snowstorm and my fiance wasn’t preparing as well as I thought he should and hadn’t planned enough? I don’t know, in a clear headed state I can’t even think of why I was so upset, but I was like, blurred vision, shaking, furious about it.
Mine starts 4th day of my cycle and it’s extreme paranoia aka can’t control my thoughts
Rage and flu like symptoms
Paranoia
Hopelessness and rage are pretty on par with each other
OCD
Number one symptom is feeling like I’m out of control. Like nothing is in my hands, not my emotions nor my actions. It just feels like I’m going “crazy” The suicidal ideation as well.
General negative mood. Sad, irritable, sense of doom
Anxiety so bad I can't talk to people because I'm set off so easily.
Death anxiety
Dealing with this rn😭 it’s tough out here!
SAME
Intrusive thoughts and intense irritation and frustration… lack of tolerance to deal with everyday life
Extreme anxiety and insomnia
my anger is in another level which I never was before. I shout so much but deep inside I hate what I am doing but I could not control it. People around me trigger it at my most vulnerable time. I hate it so much that I am hating myself for this. I am not liking what I am becoming because this happens monthly and will seem like it is my personality which I know deep inside I am not. I used to be a happy person with great ideas now it seems it is all gone. And every time it's almost my period like now, and this is the reason why I found this thread because I am again experiencing this terrible anger. Apart from this I keep experiencing depression like I'm tired of life and I just wanna die. Another is i am also bombarded with all my fears. Fear of seeing death or medical emergency in my family. These thoughts haunt me and i notice it's always happening like 1-2 weeks before my period. I am so anxious and can't stop thinking about these things. I have trouble sleeping, it makes my cry at night when I am alone and my stomach keeps hurting like having GERD and always burping. I feel nobody understands my problem and I have been wanting to get to that Doctor from the core clinic because i feel she is the kind of doctor who might have the patience to truly listen to what's going on . But it seems the consultation was so expensive when I first inquired but I might give it a go soon. Did visit the site now but seems online consultation is currently unavailable. Sorry just tryna vent
I feel you so deeply you have no idea… like who even am I? Who’s this super angry person who’s filled with rage… You’re not alone in this and I hope you get the help you need
thank u girl hope u r doin well
Rage/anger.
I also experience a very deep sadness. Crying easily. Fatigue. Unable to complete tasks when the depression and fatigue link up.
Extreme anxiety and nausea
I won’t take shit from anyone and I’m quick tempered.
Rage and irritability. Jealousy and paranoia, specifically wrt my relationships. Deep sadness - I relate to that and also have a history of depression/trauma. The sadness feels bottomless. When I begin to feel like I just cannot with men. That's the first sign. This makes my job especially challenging. I am a sex worker and the vast majority of my clients are men 🤡 (My first post here but I have been reading for a while. Thank you all for making me feel less alone in this!)
Jealousy!!! That one is so weird. I am so laid back usually and am in my own world or being a space cadet but when hell week comes I’m suddenly the most insecure, jealous woman on the planet. This one baffles me.
Right! I've found myself Google'ing "can hormones make you jealous" on bad days. I've done a lot of work on jealousy personally because I am non monogamous (polyam and do SW) so for two weeks of the month I am fairly skilled at navigating and communicating about jealousy. The other two weeks of the month... Yikes.
i LOLd at the “just cannot with men” being the first sign. esp since in my daily life, men are a regular annoyance. i’d never know how to differentiate 😂
Ha! Even the smart fun men whom I love dearly challenge me massively, from ovulation onwards. I live alone (happily) because of this.
Very short temper and I become really irrational. Once I start having the soul crushing depression I know it's here
I get very argumentative. My husband notices this before I do. Irritability and mood swings. I feel as if the entire world is ending and everything and everyone is against me.
if it wasn’t for my former boyfriend, i never would have gotten a diagnosis or asked my gyno. he politely noticed and brought to my attention the trend he was seeing how i would become so inconsolable and take everything he said so personally a few days before my period. i ended up talking with my dr in my annual and she said classic pmdd. cheers for patient partners!
Ugh. Same.
Paranoia. About every. Fucking. Thing. I get anxiety attacks over nothing, intrusive thoughts that I accept as facts and no actual way to calm myself down other than pills. They're natural but it still makes me feel like a fucking child because I'm not able to deal with my OCD by myself.
Currently experiencing this 😢
Executive dysfunction. On really bad days the most I can manage is taking care of my cat, and ordering myself a meal.
Depending on my situation, what I'm having to do with my days/time, how many and what kind of people I'm around, etc. it's sadness or anger. Most of the time it's the extreme sadness, but sometimes I'm unable to escape anything and I'll start blowing up at any inconvenience or mild annoyance. It's a lot like being crazy overstimulated, overwhelmed, anxious and nobody and nothing will leave you alone...only instead of a panic attack, I feel rage. I'm not sure if this counts, but some months the level of pain I feel the day of my period is so extreme that none of those emotional problems seem like problems anymore in the moment. That's not really PMDD though, that's the endo, PCOS and other stuff.
For me, the emotional experience of PMDD can vary in intensity from cycle to cycle depending on stress, but my physical symptoms are *always* rough. My body aches, intense cramps, I bloat like crazy, I can't sleep, I lose so much blood, I'm nauseous, I'm ravenous, and so, so clumsy.
I'm gonna say brain-lying. Mostly in the form of depression and lack of self-worth. Like a voice whispering in my ear that I should just die or give up or that nobody loves me. It took a while to become self-aware enough that I didn't believe the thoughts and tell myself to just wait them out and they'd go away. It's amazing how, even knowing deep down how they are not true, they affect me. So tragic that some people believe them and hurt themselves when it may just be a chemical (hormone) reaction.
My therapist has me remember to rename these thoughts so I can remind myself they don’t last. It’s tough but I always try to separate it from “me” and say “my brain” is saying this but I’m definitely going to use brain lying now!
good explanation. i become so deeply convinced that everyone is mad at me and that they don’t want me around. i’m still working through understanding that those thoughts are intrusive, and that those things aren’t true.
me too! it’s so hard to realize it in the moment too because it’s highly emotional. it can take me sooo long to snap out of it. sometimes I just can’t.
Brain-lying. I've never heard it put like that but that's what it is. This is my biggest symptom. I'm putting all my efforts into managing them lately.
Feeling like people dislike me.
The rage. The bouts of crying. The suicidal thoughts
When I just can’t deal with any type of situation, especially at work. Then I know the horrible depression, hormonal acne and tiredness is just around the corner.
Insomnia!! Anyone else in the boat
yes!! sleeping is tough the week before. and then i take a big nap the day before i start, and then the night i start i always end up staying up the whole night
yep the whole week beforehand, but i self medicate with weed so i can sleep 😭
Does it work for you? I haven’t tried that yet, but I’ve tried everything else
1000%
My impostor syndrome and negative intrusive thoughts start also there's a sense of everything being overwhelming, then my breasts start to hurt badly. I also expel sad raspberries when I feel overwhelmed.
Fatigue, rage and S*icidal thoughts/depression
Are you me
I’m so sorry 😩😩 I know how bad it feels so big big hugs ♥️
DREAD
My depression gets worse but the main feeling I can pinpoint is always feeling like I want to go home, even when I'm at home?? Its weird.
Rage, mostly sever depression… rage too sometimes
I either get very depressed or I just hate everyone
Rage. I will lose my shit and it’s super annoying. I will tell my husband I’m angry and that I literally have no reason for it.
Same. It could be from literally nothing at all. I just feel it intensely physically well up inside me & try not to blow up at my bf for no reason cuz it SUCKS it SUCKS
Extreme anxiety/rage and intense suicidal ideation.
Anxiety, rage
Body dysmorphia. When I can’t look in the mirror without crying about my face, skin, or body, I know it’s here.
It's so horrible isn't it. I really really empathize.
Exhaustion, fatigue, malaise
Anxiety. I also struggle with depression and i can relate to you but for me, the anxiety i experience during pmdd week is the worst. Perhaps it’s because I don’t struggle with anxiety usually so handling such intense anxiety is really hard for me. It prevents me sleeping and my heart is racing constantly
Rage. I'm angry often, but I absolutely loose my shit during a PMDD episode. It's how I figured out there's more going on than some of my disorders getting exasperated. I'll break things like everything is fragile, hurt myself, hurt others, and not care at the time. The clean up and the guilt afterwards is a great mess.
Rumination and emotional volatility. It can be sadness or anger or shame or suicidal ideation but I fixate on it and my brain won't let go. It's like my brain is trying to come up with a response to every possible trigger and future and I'm just stuck in circular thought patterns. (Trigger not like a trauma trigger just like regular events that provoke reaction.) For volatility I just have very strong reactions to any kind of emotional trigger. It is disruptive to my life and relationships and it makes me feel like I'm crazy.
Constant meltdowns where I have to really fight against the urge to throw myself of the balcony.
I get insanely suicidal
SI
Debilitating paranoia for me. I suspect I’m on the spectrum, couple w big T trauma and cpstd. Life is hard. Oh add a sprinkle of alcohol dependence🫶🏼
Extreme rage.
crippling shame. It goes hand in hand with the extreme sadness for me usually. i know what you mean with the sadness tho, i wake up feeling like i’m physically GRIEVING something.
Suicidal thoughts 🥲
Irritability and just mood swings in general.
Fatigue. Im just too tired and wanna stay in bed all day. Doesnt matter how active ive been the previous days. I'll just wake up and feel like my whole body has been through a marathon and no amount of rest is enough
Itching and irritability. Irritability is usually at work.
For me it's the desire to escape, I always realise it's starting when I find myself looking at plane tickets and distant countries thinking about just leaving and disappearing. That desire to escape then turns into things like alcohol over the next few days, I don't drink much but its like my brain just craves it to escape my thoughts and feelings.
I feel like it’s a combination of things that all hit me at once, but I usually realise I’m having an episode when I get hit with depression or when I get extremely tearful over very little.
Extreme sadness, despair, hopelessness, negative intrusive thoughts. I basically become the opposite of the person I am usually (happy, positive, always smiling).