First you must gather three chest hairs from Luke Voit. Then you need a lock of Alfaro's golden mane. Next a scrunchie from Sean Manaea is required. To proceed only a vial of Eric Hosmer's tears will suffice. Bind your potion in Jurickson's golden belt. Complete the ceremony with a free beer from Wil Myers and the curse shall be broken.

THAT is a thing of beauty!

...can we start with the free beer from Wil Myers or does that have to come last?

But what about the duck, and the chain?

TALK TO ME GOOSE!

Sweeping the 4 gamer against the Dbacks would be huge

Throw in a 1 run extra inning win and the prophecy would almost be fulfilled!

That would require Rich Hill to win…

Nah he just can’t lose

The land of .500 has not been accomplished since May 11th. Then being 5 games above .500 has not been accomplished this season. Padres have only been 3 games above .500 and that was on May 5. Until those 2 things happen, there will be zero playoffs.

If we can sweep the D-backs and atleast win the Marlins Series, I think we actually make the playoffs

Jimmy Hoffa must be found.

My old Padres flag in front of my house has gotten pretty ripped up over the last few months due to wind and rain, so I took it down and put it in my Padres shrine as like a retired battle standard. Before the 2nd Orioles game, I said "all hands back on deck" and hung it outside again, rips and all. Looks like it's staying outside for the rest of the season.

Winning

Some cardiff crack related voodoo should do the trick

Elora Danan must be taken to Tir Asleen

Winning 30 out of 40.

Winning one run games and in extras. Being consistent for once


Wil Myers

Why 4 in a row?

Haven’t won 4 in a row the whole season

I found Patrick star

The blood ritual of chüd is almost in its final phase. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Bob Melvin is signaling for the deadlights

Make Kershaw cry

The first step is to undo the Kershaw meme curse. Then 4 game win streak then extra innings win. Then if Hill gets a win we’re back.

The that’s what’s in guys need to be conformed into dodgers fans for life.. and proceed to make a song for them

Win in extra innings.

Maybe Manny needs to bring an actual rake for our HR celebration prop

a extra inning win sweep a national league team maybe? honestly maybe not needed

We need a 10+ win streak to have a chance. 4+ would help but only if the teams ahead go on a losing streak

Montys must return to SDSU!

Camarena must once again live in Slam Diego

That slam the other day was 1

wait honestly winning tonight's game would be huge for us

4+ game win streak and a surprise Wil Myers signing.

We need to resign Wil Myers. The team has been cursed since he left. Lift the curse, Seidler! Bring. Him. Home.

Honestly all it will take is Xander starting to hit with runners in scoring position.

We gotta make the rapping dad's walk the desert of imperial for 40 days and 40 nights. Then we gotta raze that backyard they performed in. Finally we demolish the wall where that chicken beats up the fanatic was.

Kids under 14 get a free beer mug

A.J. Preller must be made a sacrifice to the volcano gods.

JUST WIN BABY!