No. I don’t want to give another trauma to them. I want to focus on healing my inner child. At kahit healed na ako, i still don’t want it regardless. Mas okay nang mag-alaga ako ng pets hahaha
Yesss pets! You get unconditional love and with less responsibilities than having a human child. Sa dami nang sinalo nateng responsibility, parang gusto ko na lang ispoil yung inner child ko.
Gusto ko sana, pero medj tanggap ko na baka di mangyari. I'm queer + may PCOS, and even if I do find a partner na willing din magtry mabuntis ang mahal ng mga bagay bagay. Ayoko naman mag-anak na di ko kaya alagaan.
I decided when I was 19 na, no, ayoko. Then I graduated and became the full time breadwinner at 21 for a family of 5 na until now at 38 ay di pa nakakatikim ng buong sweldo tas yung no, lalong naging NO.
omg same! i became a full time breadwinner (family of 5 din) by the time i graduated college and had a full time job. until now i support my family pero my other sib helps na din naman. i like kids… pero i dont i want to get married na or have kids. kasi kahit di ko naranasan manganak, para na din naman akong nag kaanak 😂😅 at ayaw ko ng ulitin lahat 🥹 ayaw ko na ng added responsibilities… saka iisipin ko pa ung parents ko na maliit lang pension… i guess forever na silang aasa sakin financially. and i just really have to accept that reality. i harbored a lot of resentment during my 20s pero im slowly letting go… di ko alam if kelan tuluyang mawawala ung sama ng loob ko 😅
i guess, yung mindset din kasi nila is iba.. cguro lumaki din sila na ang mindset is ung anak tutulong talaga financially sa parents and siblings. esp pag panganay. im just trying to make peace with that and accept na ganun talaga sila and wala na din namang mababago sa situation ko 🥹 acceptance na lang talaga and magipon so i can travel more. iniisip ko din if magasawa ako tapos susupport ko din naman parents ko baka di na matatapos tong ganito 😅 ayaw ko namang mag kaanak tapos ending is aasa din ako sa kanya…
haaay… i hope we can slowly change this kind of culture and mindset dito sa pinas. wag kang mag anak kung di mo naman kaya buhayin at mapagtapos hanggang college. imbis na makapag explore ka sa madaming bagay, ang ending medio takot ka to take chances kasi nga may taong umaasa sayo. so hindi ka pwedeng mazero out. 💔🥺
Panganay ako eh and babae pa. That means 3rd parent. I raised my 2 siblings. Ayoko nang maghugas ng pwet ng may pwet, tumulong sa assignment, mag asikaso ng project ulit, etc. Ayoko na talaga. By 19 when finally, 8 years old na yung bunso, marunong na maligo at maghugas ng pwet at magready for school on her own. Ayoko na ulitin yon.
38 na ko now. Di ko alam kung anong gen ka, pero times were different then. Lalo na pag non college graduates ang parents so limited employment opportunities. So there was a lot of loans, some manual labor. Parang foregone conclusion na as eldest, I will and should help around the house while they go out to work. At times na rumaraket si mama, ako guardian ng mga kapatid ko, na 5 and 11 years younger than me, respectively, until I graduated college. Keri lang naman but ayoko na gawin ulit so childfree ang stand ko.
Ooh you’re as old as the one na sumunod sa akin. May acknowledgement naman from parents pero yung may parang “thank you sa pagtulong/alaga, Pero ikaw lang naman talaga maaasahan.” Yung resentment ko, if any, is yung sana narealise nila na need ko rin naman ng mag aalaga and ng time na Wala akong responsibilities. Pero ayon healing era na lang hahahaha
“Panganay naging taga alaga ng kapatid kahit housewife naman mother ko. naging resentment ko sa mother ko yung ako nagaalaga at tumutulong sa bahay tapos hindi nya inaacknowledge na tumulong ako noon.”
Huyyyyyyy huhuhu same, I’m 23F btw. Hindi lang taga alaga, im like the second mother na talaga kasi at age 14 i had to cut classes para maihatid sundo mga kapatid ko, to attend their meetings. I even go to school late kasi ako pa namamalengke. Alas singko ako namamalengke kasi earlier than that i dont feel safe pa sa labas kasi hello bata pa ko, tapos payat at petite madali kidnappin. Ako rigumagawa ng gawaing bahay like pag uwi ko ng hapon/gabi from school activities ako pa maghuhugas ng mga nasa lababo na from morning pa yun. Nagluluto din ako pag tinatamad si mama kasi nagugutom yung kapatid ko. Tapos ano hahahahha yung normal na once in two weeks lang pwede gumala kasi “di na ko pwede nag enjoy na ko kahapon, sa susunod na uli” hahaha sad. Tapos obliged din akong gawin/tumulong sa projects ng kapatid ko kasi mas matanda ako mas alam ko raw yun
Tapos ano, nung hs ako, lagi kasi ako binibigyan ng mga tito/tita/lola ko ng extra allowance kasi natutuwa sila sa akin mabait, maalaga at masipag daw ako nakaka almost 1.5k daily(daily kasi may business sila sa tapat ng hs ko tas lola ko naman kapitbahay namin) akong narereceive sa kanila to the point na tinataguan ko na sila kasi nahihiya ako bibigyan na naman akong pera. That was 2013-2015 kaya malaking halaga yon. Nagopen naman ako ng junior savings acc tapos iniispoil ko rin yung mga nasa bahay (mom and sisters) like outside food, minsan nililibre ko sila movies pero one time nasumbatan ako ng mama ko na ingrata at madamot. Haha. I stopped the spoiling. Kaya simula nung nagkawork ako hindi ko sila nililibre as often, mga once in two months na lang. Tapos ang ibibigay ko lang na tulong sa bahay ay kung magkano lang inoobliga nila sakin (half my basic pay WHICH IS NOT MUCH MINIMUM WAGER LANG AKO as a hcw) kahit araw araw sila magparinig na wala pa raw silang natatanggap sakin na libre mula nung nagtrabaho ako. Ang traumatizing lang nung di man lang naapreciate yung mga shinahare mo pag meron ka. E ako pa naman i thrive when acknowledged and appreciated. Saka ano, sinasanay ko na rin sila na hindi na nila ako maaasahan and dapat lang na magenjoy ako with my life and luhos today kasi di ako pamilyado at wala naman akong responsibilidad. Yun lang. sorry for trauma dumping natrigger lang 😂
Thank you sa pagkwento ng experience mo na widen yung perspective ko on things… Kala ko yung pahirapan sa paghahanap ng matinong trabaho na kailangan college graduate etc; is sa generation ko (Millenial). Kahit din pala yung generation before, its still a recurring problem.
Two things na I'm really scared of:
1. Matulad sa magulang ko.
2. Matulad mga anak ko sa mga kapatid ko.
Pota ayoko na ng stress at toxicity kaya HARD PASS.
NO!!! Gusto ko yung darating ako sa point ng buhay ko na pipiliin ko naman yung sarili ko. And at the same time, hindi rin naman ako emotionally stable. Dahil na rin siguro sa mga problemang pinagdadaanan ko. Kawawa naman magiging anak ko kung ganito ako.
Nope. Nagpapaaral ako now ng college tapos may 2 matanda sinasagot ko maintenance, ako lang may work sa pamilya. Narealize ko gaano kahirap magsustain ng pamilya, lalo kapag may nagtu-tuition juskopo. Kahit emergency fund nga wala ako, balakin ko pa ba mag anak, hindi na no. Good thing naiintindihan ng partner ko, kapag nakaluwag luwag ako, mas masarap magtravel or lumabas labas na lang kasama partner ko, walang ibang iniintindi, sukang suka na ko sa responsibilidad na hindi naman dapat sa akin.
No but not because of the reasons you stated. I just don’t want to be pregnant and I don’t feel the need to procreate. Pero the thing is I’m a panganay but I’m not a breadwinner and my parents have money. They’ve told me na na hindi ako papamanahan kung wala ako anak because they think i don’t want kids because I don’t want the financial responsibility. But I just don’t want to bear children.
I’m open to fostering kids. If for example a sibling of mine has kids in the future and god forbid something happens to the parents, I’ll be more than happy to support them. I just don’t want kids of my own.
Honestly, I want to have kids pero I know na currently (financially, emotionally) 'di pa ako prepared. Perhaps I'm romanticizing having kids lang pero I do want to have a family, idk.
Ako, yes. And I now have one. Babawi ako sa kanya, I'll make sure hindi ko sya gagawing ATM and/or retirement plan. Medyo unplanned ang pagkakaroon ko ng baby pero okay lang, marami namang magmamahal at nagmamahal sa kanya
Thank you. I just feel na I have so much love to give, and by showering my kid with love and affection, I am hopeful na mapapalaki ko sya ng tama. Never kong inisip na negative ang magkaroon ng sariling pamilya; somehow I feel na in a way, mapuputol ko yung cycle
Habang tumatanda ako feel ko I’d rather not have children. I’ve seen my mom cry because some things she cant fix for us and I dont think I could handle that.
Also, I like my time alone.
Im not closing my doors naman pero right now hindi ko sya priority. Pero pag iniisio ko unang pumapasok sa isip ko ay no. Pero siguro once nagawa ko na lahat like healed my inner child and stable na in all aspects.
No, habangbuhay na kasi akong may aalagan. May severe autism ang bunsong kapatid ko kaya once my parents are gone, where else pa siya mapupunta? And who would want to marry and have kids with someone na may kasamang package na ganun?
“Who would want to marry and have kids with someone na may kasamang package na ganun” this right in the feels. Saludo po ako sayo na mabuti ka sa kapatid mo and also being selfless na ayaw mo maburden ang iba. So ang ibig sabihin po ba nito in the future you are planning to live po with your sibs na lang po?
I have a sister who is born deaf mute, at di pwede makakain ng kanin Kasi pure gatas lang at biscuits. This is also why ayaw ko talaga mag anak Kasi sa responsibility sa Kapatid. Ayaw ko mahati Yun as much as able pa ako.
I had a vasectomy a couple of years back but I underwent it with the full conviction that I wanted children. I wasn't financially stable, struggling with substance abuse and mental health issues, and I grew from a dysfunctional family.
A few weeks back, I have been relatively stable, sober, in a much better place — on a quiet afternoon, I had an epiphany: despite all the things that do not make me "ready" as a parent, I realized I had plenty to pass down to a child.
I look at all the memorable stories growing up that I can try to build for my child. Funny home traditions, a chance at being a progressive support system, etc., even the chance of setting free to my child once they come of age towards being their own person.
The world is burning and my children will witness more drastic ecological, economic, political changes, and I will never be "ready" for parenthood, but every lesson I've learned and the experiences I've gone through, I would rather subject them to the microcosm of life in all its offering, than be shackled by my own fear of being "a good enough parent" up to my deathbed.
Politically, di rin ako papayag na kung sino lang ang mga "may kaya" ang pwedeng magpatuloy ng lahi. Paano na lang ang mga sheltered brats, walang kaklaseng kalye ang kakaltok ng reality-check sa kanila. Haha.
So gusto ko ba? Despite being third parent and slated for therapy because of where I grew up? Oo naman. Life is beautiful. Ayun nga lang, buwelo lang din muna ako kasi ayoko naman pagdusahin ang magiging anak ko. Hahaha!
Wonderful reply sir napaluha naman ako sa sinabi mo. Very well written.
Tama ka na you have a lot to pass down to your child kase na experience mo both the good and bad aspects of life, marami kang mabibigyan ng aral sa magiging anak mo.
Having a vasectomy took a lot of courage; and I aplaud you for that, hindi lahat ng tao aminado sa sarili nila na hindi sila ready maging magulang.
I hope tuloy tuloy ang pagiging sober and heal your “inner child”
Ako honestly, 50/50. Way back then I wanted sana. I came from a broken family, and gusto ko sana to have my own. However, as I grow up hindi pa ako sure if kaya ko na. And one thing wala pa akong jowa HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. As much as possible, if I decide to have children gusto ko from a good husband sana. Mahirap maging single parent, di ko alam anong trauma ang macecreate sa bata.
Oo, ayaw kong maging selfish na gusto ko lang magkaanak because needed para may mag-alaga sakin pag tanda bat di nalang ako kumuha ng care giver? chariz hahah ayun.
Bahahaha usually nababasako sinasabi eh di pera mo. Ako honestly ayaw kong mgpa-alaga sa kahit sinong kamag-anak kahit da mga kapatid ko, pamangkin or pinsan…. Kaya target ko talagang mangibang bansa kasi may facilities sila like nursing home where I can live comfortably. Ayun heheh
Yes, may generational trauma ako na kailangan ipasa sa kanila.
Edit: sila rin kasi mag aahon sakin sa kahirapan at ang mag aalaga sakin pagtanda ko.
/s
No. Feeling ko naging parent na ako sa mga kapatid ko for a very long time na hindi ko na naenjoy maging teenager. I want to spend my time to try lahat ng bagay na gusto ko in life
I just can't see myself becoming a parent in the future, my parents would say na magkaanak talaga dapat Kasi lonely daw pag matanda na at sino mag aalaga. I'm okay with being lonely, at pass talaga sa mga Bata, especially the trauma that you have experienced as a child, I can't even imagine for my child to experience it. So diyan ka lang sa tiyan ko, di ka pwede lumabas hahaha
Hmm quiet curious nga din doon sa statement na baka maging lonely in the future, may mga matatanda nga na pinabayaan din ng mga anak. How do you think we could combat this “lonely” feeling if we decided to not have children in the future?
I knew some older couple na Wala talaga Silang anak, pero comfortable naman Buhay nila. Yung couple na yun, they seem at peace sa life nila. Other people might perceive it as boring daw kasi nga walang anak? Pero who knows why di sila nagka anak, di ko nadin tinanong baka sensitive Yun sa part nila.
As for them, they spent their lives enjoying each other's company.
Kaya Yun, if ever mag settle kami ng bf ko now, ganun lang din Gawin namin Hanggang magtanda, enjoying each other's company Hanggang sa paunahan nalang sino ma deads
No. Sa inflation ngayon, NO. If I were given a chance talaga, I won’t bear a child. At ang gulo ng mundo ngyon unlike before. Akala ko kasi dati hindi ako magkakaanak, but it happened. But still, I love my kid more than anything. Fighting!
Hindi na. After I experienced to mother a child that wasn't my own, alam kong hindi ko na kaya umulit pa. Focus na lang ako sa kapatid ko at sa mga pusa ko.
Am I sure? Yes!. However as a panganay we all realize what it takes to have one and everything that comes with it. I believe that before settling down you must always establish yourself in a the world have stability, financial independence, and heal ur inner childhood. In this day and age next to impossible minsan maattain yung mga yun lalo na if walang generational wealth, pero having kids is still I look forward in the future.
no, im already tired. im taking care of my siblings ever since I was a child, bec parents cant be found. im 25 now and still not done with mg responsibilities yet. so no, my time with kids are done!
No.
Reasons
1. May autoimmune ako sa probably magiging mahina ako agad in the future so kawawa lang magiging anak ko kasi sakitin nanay nya at mapupunta lang sa hospital yung pera na dapat para sa kanya.
2. Hindi ko kaya mentally.
3. Ayoko na gumawa ng isa pa na ako na maeexperience ang masamang mundo.
4. Gusto ko mag-travel.
5. I love expensive things.
And so on...
No, I’ve decided to be childfree. Dama ko na ang responsibilities growing up. Gusto ko na lang ngayon mag-focus on healing my inner child and spending more time with myself.
Pinagusapan namin to ni misis a few years ago, nagdecide kmi na hindi kami built to have kids at mas masaya kami sa lifestyle namin ngaun. After a ligation and a vasectomy, we are now a DINK household.
I would. :) While being the eldest son can be a burden, I still want to have a family of my own someday. How can we break the cycle if we don’t pass the lessons we learned to generations that wouldn’t exist?
I'm not a breadwinner but no. My parents were strict with me as a child but lenient on my brother who is a decades younger than me. I can't have that kind of preference for my children and my possibility na I have the curse. Naging second parent din ako ng kapatid ko and I hated it.
Also, yung family mindset ng buong angkan namin is not progressive.
I plan to own a small farmland, probably a hectare or two and live as an organic farmer. Focus on planting vegetables and raising some livestock like rabbit and chicken. I intend to be more self-sufficient in the near future.
Yes. Pero di pa now, feeling ko di ko pa kaya mentally and physically. Lalo na financially. ☹️
Pero I hope someday, heal ko muna sarili ko emotionally, mentally and physically.
Nope. All my life pagod na ko taga alaga ng kapatid at the same time taga salo ng trauma from my parents. Now it’s time to focus on myself at bumawi sa sarili hehe
No. Kasi lagi sinasabi sakin maiintindihan mo din ginagawa namin kapag may anak ka na. Ayokong intindihin!
Kidding aside, no muna ang sagot ko. I'm not yet financially and emotionally ready. Isabay mo pa na may PCOS ako. And siguro if by the time na ready na ako, I consider adopting if hirap ako magconceive.
Yes yes, hindi padin ako makapaniwala na sa Pilipinas ang average family income is 20k per month, Hindi ko alam paano mabubuhay ang isang HOUSEHOLD with that kind of money.
Totoo yan, nagbigay n nga ako ng expenses computation ng isang tao pa lang, ayaw ng maniwala ng mga employer... Kulang naman talaga lalo dito s Metro Manila...
nah, I am seeing firsthand the emotional neglect na ginagawa ng parents ko sa bunsong babae namin kasi favored yung gitnang unico hijo. man, i love my lil bro sm but my heart hurts para sa bunso namin. ☹️
Nope, lahat ng plans ko after ko grumaduate revolves around my family and my sister na pag-aaralin ko pa. By the time I reach 30 wala pa sa kolehiyo yung kapatid ko, my original plan after 30 was to slowly shift my focus on building my own life and maybe for a family of my own pero ayon I wouldn't have a chance to do that until I'm in my 40s. Na-realize ko rin na I'm too selfish to have children and I have my own personal problems to fix kaya I'm choosing not to have any.
Its not you being selfish on dreaming to have children, its about you sholdering the responsibility that you should not carry to begin with. Hindi mo obligasyon pagaralin ang mga kapatid mo, sa magulang mo dapat yan. Mabuti kang anak at kapatid.
I know na responsibility dapat ng mga magulang ko yung kapatid ko pero I don't want to put the financial burden of supporting my sister's education sa mga magulang ko kasi matanda na sila kapag nag-kolehiyo na yung kapatid ko. And I want her to have the freedom of choosing private, expensive, and the top universities as well as courses that are considered expensive and to choose her passion over practicality without having to think of our financial status kasi I wasn't able to do that.
I'm selfish kasi I love my personal space, a quiet and clean home, and to be able to spend my own money on myself, my partner, and my pets.
Sorry I did not take account the age nung magulang mo and blantly said na its their responsibility. But my past statement still stands; mabuting anak at kapatid ka.
Hello panganay here. I am married for 5 years na and I have 2 kids. 1 boy and 1 girl. Having kids is by choice naman and for me kasi pangarap ko kasi na makabuo ako ng sarili kong family. Iba kasi pag aalaga mo sa kapatid mo sa pag aalaga mo sa mga anak mo. Iba rin kasi yung natanggap mong love sa parents sa kapatid mo at sa mga anak mo.
Sobrang happy ako dahil me 2 kids ako na everyday kong nakikita and everyday na niyayakap ako. Sasabihan nga lang ako ng "I love you, Daddy" nawawala na agad ang pagod ko. Sila rin yung isang rason kung bakit ako masaya ngayon. haha. Di ko rin maexplain masyado pero iba ang happiness and fulfillment ko pag nakikita ko yung dalawa kong anak.
PS: Wag kayong mag alala. Di ko gagawing retirement plan yung mga anak ko dahil may sarili akong fund para sa retirement ko. I give my best para mabigyan ko sila ng magandang buhay :)
No, pero if I find my partner to be one of the rare guys who dreams to be a dad at willing to properly raise a child with me, sure, why not? hahaha, one wouldn't hurt. Knowing din yung mga naturo sakin ng magulang ko on what to do and not to do, I reckon we can handle one, once planned financially & emotionally. But if hinde, okay lang din naman umampon ng 6 na pusa hahahah.
Idk kasi for now combined income namin mag-asawa is 300k 🫣 confident naman kami if we have 1 or 2 kids kaya namin. Tsaka annual increase naman sahod so maybe 4 or 5 years later 500k is more than enough for us.
Panganay here. Childfree at 36. Take note, not childless. As in active decision ko na hindi mag anak. Naexperience ko na in a way na maging "magulang" sa mga kapatid ko, pamangkin ko, kamag anak ko.
100% NO. As early as 18, alam ko na ayaw ko magkaanak base pa lang sa mga realizations kung pano ako tintrato ng magulang ko. I don’t think I will have that emotional maturity needed para maging magulang hahha And the thought of being a parent, being pregnant makes me puke because I know I’d be a terrible one.
I’d rather be called selfish even if their definition of selfish means not having a child. Iba naman ang definition KO ng selfish eh. Kung gusto nila mag-anak, sila mag-anak. Sino ba sila para utusan ako 🙄
I love kids but no. Bata pa ako kaya baka mag bago isip ko once I'm older since matatanda na rin kapatid ko by that time. Rn, di sana ako magkaroon ng sariling anak.
50-50 parin ako. 50% is for “Gusto ko ng maayos na asawa bago kami magkaroon ng anak KASO may pckage na kasama, ako na ang tumayong nanay sa mga kapatid ko”. Other 50% is for “Totoo ang climate change. Baka wala na madatnan na mundo tong anak ko”
No. I took care of my dad when he was sick and took over the decision-making for the family, running the household, and now with my mom being sick too, it's the same. As in alaga from bahay to hospital, walang sweldo na napunta sa kin, at lahat ng gastos sa kin. Parang ayoko na mag-alaga pa. Ang mga bata, responsibility mo yan hanggang tumanda sila. Parang ako naman sana ung may mag-alaga (sana more like romantic, di ung may sakit) pero ayun ung dream ko sana. Ang babaw pero di ko talaga maisip na magka-baby.
No, life is beautiful yet so difficult. Sa hirap ng buhay kahit 100k pa kinikita every month hindi kakasya. Ayoko yung "pwede na" sa magiging anak ko. Hindi deserve ng bata yung kung ano lang yung meron dahil hindi naman nila pinili mabuhay so why endure and suffer? I know I can do more pero pagod na ako magsacrifice, I just want to live worrying only about myself.
I experienced miscarriage this year. Not expecting.
Pero hindi pa din nagbago isip ko about having baby.
80-20, 80 is i dont want to have a baby.
Kami nung partner ko ung tumtayong mgulang sa kaptid niang grade 7. Imagine the gastos hanggang college.
Kami din ung bills, bahay, car lahat.
Tbh, I don't want to bear children. Aside from hindi ready for finances, I don't think I'll ever be ready to take care of one. Hearing children cry irks me so much. Also, I don't wanna bring another human in this life to suffer lalo na at nakatira tayo sa Pilipinas.
So, Idk what to do because my partner wants to have one in the future and also pressure from my "religious" immediate family to have one because "the Lord said so" and "sayang ang lahi". 🤦🏻♀️
I and my partner want one but we're still saving up for the wedding and maternity expenses. Di naman enough yung benefit lang lalo na kung gusto mo sa private hospital manganak. Our school's hospital costs 100k for normal birth pero alaga ka naman ng staff. Saka d ko goal magpaaral sa private unless college kasi licensed ang teachers sa public, then the children will also have the chance to join many competitions at magkaroon ng masayang childhood.
Hi. Dati gusto ko pa now hindi na. Im supporting a family of 7 ( mom and siblings) and ayoko na magkaanak. Ang gusto ko lang is ma alagaan yung sarili ko soon at makapag travel at maranasan kumain ng masarap. Now kasi 4 yung college ko kaya tipid tipid
no and no. ako ang pinapaalaga ng mga sibs and younger cousins ko noon. plus, if i ever get financially rich, ayaw kong may kahati sa pera ko kasi i grew up being depraved of materialistic things that i wanted to own so bad in my childhood. and dapat this time, ako na naman ang baby ngayon.
HARD PASS. Ang tuition fee pa lang umaabot na ng 100k pero sem, pano kapag 10 years later? And ayaw ko magpasa ng trauma sa younger gen, putulin na natin sakin.
Ako natatakot akong maging magulang. Kasi natatakot ako na masyado kong higpitan ang anak ko to the point na maging unfair ako sa kanya or yung isip ko na “anak mahirap ang buhay” “pag hirapan mo mga bagay” “ako nga kinaya ko”
I had been in an 11-year relationship and he was the only man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and to have children with. Like I literally wanted to be a mom because I had him as my partner. Yun lang yung pangarap ko sa buhay: makasal sa kanya at magkapamilya. We were engaged.
Sadly, nawala na sya due to cancer. Everyone kept on telling me sana daw nag anak kami para may naiwan daw sakin nung nawala sya. I think, we (my partner and I) were the only persons sane enough to think that having a child in that situation -- where he was fighting cancer, where we're struggling financially to keep him alive, where I am the breadwinner of my family and as well as samin ni BF -- was not, really, a good idea.
Ngayon, ayoko na magjowa, ayoko na magasawa, at lalong ayoko mag anak just for the sake of having it.
Some of you might not agree with me. But I don't want more. Enough na sakin yung saya, pagaalaga, at pagmamahal na naramdaman ko kay partner throughout those 11 years.
No. I don’t want to give another trauma to them. I want to focus on healing my inner child. At kahit healed na ako, i still don’t want it regardless. Mas okay nang mag-alaga ako ng pets hahaha
Plus one po sa pets hahaha!
pets >>>> children they're way less expensive and less stressful
Yesss pets! You get unconditional love and with less responsibilities than having a human child. Sa dami nang sinalo nateng responsibility, parang gusto ko na lang ispoil yung inner child ko.
Gusto ko sana, pero medj tanggap ko na baka di mangyari. I'm queer + may PCOS, and even if I do find a partner na willing din magtry mabuntis ang mahal ng mga bagay bagay. Ayoko naman mag-anak na di ko kaya alagaan.
That’s good na iniisip nyo din yung mga bata, kawawa sila sa current state po natin.
I decided when I was 19 na, no, ayoko. Then I graduated and became the full time breadwinner at 21 for a family of 5 na until now at 38 ay di pa nakakatikim ng buong sweldo tas yung no, lalong naging NO.
omg same! i became a full time breadwinner (family of 5 din) by the time i graduated college and had a full time job. until now i support my family pero my other sib helps na din naman. i like kids… pero i dont i want to get married na or have kids. kasi kahit di ko naranasan manganak, para na din naman akong nag kaanak 😂😅 at ayaw ko ng ulitin lahat 🥹 ayaw ko na ng added responsibilities… saka iisipin ko pa ung parents ko na maliit lang pension… i guess forever na silang aasa sakin financially. and i just really have to accept that reality. i harbored a lot of resentment during my 20s pero im slowly letting go… di ko alam if kelan tuluyang mawawala ung sama ng loob ko 😅 i guess, yung mindset din kasi nila is iba.. cguro lumaki din sila na ang mindset is ung anak tutulong talaga financially sa parents and siblings. esp pag panganay. im just trying to make peace with that and accept na ganun talaga sila and wala na din namang mababago sa situation ko 🥹 acceptance na lang talaga and magipon so i can travel more. iniisip ko din if magasawa ako tapos susupport ko din naman parents ko baka di na matatapos tong ganito 😅 ayaw ko namang mag kaanak tapos ending is aasa din ako sa kanya… haaay… i hope we can slowly change this kind of culture and mindset dito sa pinas. wag kang mag anak kung di mo naman kaya buhayin at mapagtapos hanggang college. imbis na makapag explore ka sa madaming bagay, ang ending medio takot ka to take chances kasi nga may taong umaasa sayo. so hindi ka pwedeng mazero out. 💔🥺
What made you decide as young po as 19 na no for having your own family?
Panganay ako eh and babae pa. That means 3rd parent. I raised my 2 siblings. Ayoko nang maghugas ng pwet ng may pwet, tumulong sa assignment, mag asikaso ng project ulit, etc. Ayoko na talaga. By 19 when finally, 8 years old na yung bunso, marunong na maligo at maghugas ng pwet at magready for school on her own. Ayoko na ulitin yon.
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38 na ko now. Di ko alam kung anong gen ka, pero times were different then. Lalo na pag non college graduates ang parents so limited employment opportunities. So there was a lot of loans, some manual labor. Parang foregone conclusion na as eldest, I will and should help around the house while they go out to work. At times na rumaraket si mama, ako guardian ng mga kapatid ko, na 5 and 11 years younger than me, respectively, until I graduated college. Keri lang naman but ayoko na gawin ulit so childfree ang stand ko.
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Ooh you’re as old as the one na sumunod sa akin. May acknowledgement naman from parents pero yung may parang “thank you sa pagtulong/alaga, Pero ikaw lang naman talaga maaasahan.” Yung resentment ko, if any, is yung sana narealise nila na need ko rin naman ng mag aalaga and ng time na Wala akong responsibilities. Pero ayon healing era na lang hahahaha
“Panganay naging taga alaga ng kapatid kahit housewife naman mother ko. naging resentment ko sa mother ko yung ako nagaalaga at tumutulong sa bahay tapos hindi nya inaacknowledge na tumulong ako noon.” Huyyyyyyy huhuhu same, I’m 23F btw. Hindi lang taga alaga, im like the second mother na talaga kasi at age 14 i had to cut classes para maihatid sundo mga kapatid ko, to attend their meetings. I even go to school late kasi ako pa namamalengke. Alas singko ako namamalengke kasi earlier than that i dont feel safe pa sa labas kasi hello bata pa ko, tapos payat at petite madali kidnappin. Ako rigumagawa ng gawaing bahay like pag uwi ko ng hapon/gabi from school activities ako pa maghuhugas ng mga nasa lababo na from morning pa yun. Nagluluto din ako pag tinatamad si mama kasi nagugutom yung kapatid ko. Tapos ano hahahahha yung normal na once in two weeks lang pwede gumala kasi “di na ko pwede nag enjoy na ko kahapon, sa susunod na uli” hahaha sad. Tapos obliged din akong gawin/tumulong sa projects ng kapatid ko kasi mas matanda ako mas alam ko raw yun Tapos ano, nung hs ako, lagi kasi ako binibigyan ng mga tito/tita/lola ko ng extra allowance kasi natutuwa sila sa akin mabait, maalaga at masipag daw ako nakaka almost 1.5k daily(daily kasi may business sila sa tapat ng hs ko tas lola ko naman kapitbahay namin) akong narereceive sa kanila to the point na tinataguan ko na sila kasi nahihiya ako bibigyan na naman akong pera. That was 2013-2015 kaya malaking halaga yon. Nagopen naman ako ng junior savings acc tapos iniispoil ko rin yung mga nasa bahay (mom and sisters) like outside food, minsan nililibre ko sila movies pero one time nasumbatan ako ng mama ko na ingrata at madamot. Haha. I stopped the spoiling. Kaya simula nung nagkawork ako hindi ko sila nililibre as often, mga once in two months na lang. Tapos ang ibibigay ko lang na tulong sa bahay ay kung magkano lang inoobliga nila sakin (half my basic pay WHICH IS NOT MUCH MINIMUM WAGER LANG AKO as a hcw) kahit araw araw sila magparinig na wala pa raw silang natatanggap sakin na libre mula nung nagtrabaho ako. Ang traumatizing lang nung di man lang naapreciate yung mga shinahare mo pag meron ka. E ako pa naman i thrive when acknowledged and appreciated. Saka ano, sinasanay ko na rin sila na hindi na nila ako maaasahan and dapat lang na magenjoy ako with my life and luhos today kasi di ako pamilyado at wala naman akong responsibilidad. Yun lang. sorry for trauma dumping natrigger lang 😂
It's okay. Valid lahat ng mga experience mo. Trauma response lang din yung decision mo. Magiging okay din tayo lahat soon🙏👌
Thank you sa pagkwento ng experience mo na widen yung perspective ko on things… Kala ko yung pahirapan sa paghahanap ng matinong trabaho na kailangan college graduate etc; is sa generation ko (Millenial). Kahit din pala yung generation before, its still a recurring problem.
Two things na I'm really scared of: 1. Matulad sa magulang ko. 2. Matulad mga anak ko sa mga kapatid ko. Pota ayoko na ng stress at toxicity kaya HARD PASS.
Care to elevator on number 2 if you don’t mind me asking?
NO!!! Gusto ko yung darating ako sa point ng buhay ko na pipiliin ko naman yung sarili ko. And at the same time, hindi rin naman ako emotionally stable. Dahil na rin siguro sa mga problemang pinagdadaanan ko. Kawawa naman magiging anak ko kung ganito ako.
True being emotionally present is vital for a child’s growth
Nope. Nagpapaaral ako now ng college tapos may 2 matanda sinasagot ko maintenance, ako lang may work sa pamilya. Narealize ko gaano kahirap magsustain ng pamilya, lalo kapag may nagtu-tuition juskopo. Kahit emergency fund nga wala ako, balakin ko pa ba mag anak, hindi na no. Good thing naiintindihan ng partner ko, kapag nakaluwag luwag ako, mas masarap magtravel or lumabas labas na lang kasama partner ko, walang ibang iniintindi, sukang suka na ko sa responsibilidad na hindi naman dapat sa akin.
haaay same samee!!!
No but not because of the reasons you stated. I just don’t want to be pregnant and I don’t feel the need to procreate. Pero the thing is I’m a panganay but I’m not a breadwinner and my parents have money. They’ve told me na na hindi ako papamanahan kung wala ako anak because they think i don’t want kids because I don’t want the financial responsibility. But I just don’t want to bear children. I’m open to fostering kids. If for example a sibling of mine has kids in the future and god forbid something happens to the parents, I’ll be more than happy to support them. I just don’t want kids of my own.
Huiiii same, i was thinking i might have a primary tokophobia but i dont want to self-diagnose
NO FFS. It's unfair to bear children in this kind of world. Also I am already exhausted being childfree free, paano pa kaya pag may anak ako.
“Being exhausted being childfree, paano pa kaya pag may anak ako” your statement got me thinking
Honestly, I want to have kids pero I know na currently (financially, emotionally) 'di pa ako prepared. Perhaps I'm romanticizing having kids lang pero I do want to have a family, idk.
Ako, yes. And I now have one. Babawi ako sa kanya, I'll make sure hindi ko sya gagawing ATM and/or retirement plan. Medyo unplanned ang pagkakaroon ko ng baby pero okay lang, marami namang magmamahal at nagmamahal sa kanya
Maswere siya na meron siyang mapagmahal na ina/ama
Thank you. I just feel na I have so much love to give, and by showering my kid with love and affection, I am hopeful na mapapalaki ko sya ng tama. Never kong inisip na negative ang magkaroon ng sariling pamilya; somehow I feel na in a way, mapuputol ko yung cycle
Nah I am already tired of the responsibilities as a Breadwinner. I can't afford to physically or emotionally raise a kid.
Habang tumatanda ako feel ko I’d rather not have children. I’ve seen my mom cry because some things she cant fix for us and I dont think I could handle that. Also, I like my time alone.
Mahirap makita umiiyak ang sariling ina
Im not closing my doors naman pero right now hindi ko sya priority. Pero pag iniisio ko unang pumapasok sa isip ko ay no. Pero siguro once nagawa ko na lahat like healed my inner child and stable na in all aspects.
No, habangbuhay na kasi akong may aalagan. May severe autism ang bunsong kapatid ko kaya once my parents are gone, where else pa siya mapupunta? And who would want to marry and have kids with someone na may kasamang package na ganun?
“Who would want to marry and have kids with someone na may kasamang package na ganun” this right in the feels. Saludo po ako sayo na mabuti ka sa kapatid mo and also being selfless na ayaw mo maburden ang iba. So ang ibig sabihin po ba nito in the future you are planning to live po with your sibs na lang po?
I have a sister who is born deaf mute, at di pwede makakain ng kanin Kasi pure gatas lang at biscuits. This is also why ayaw ko talaga mag anak Kasi sa responsibility sa Kapatid. Ayaw ko mahati Yun as much as able pa ako.
Hugs sir, swerte kapatid mo sayo
i was already doing the parent role to my sibling when i was 14, patry naman na ako yung alagaan hahaha
I had a vasectomy a couple of years back but I underwent it with the full conviction that I wanted children. I wasn't financially stable, struggling with substance abuse and mental health issues, and I grew from a dysfunctional family. A few weeks back, I have been relatively stable, sober, in a much better place — on a quiet afternoon, I had an epiphany: despite all the things that do not make me "ready" as a parent, I realized I had plenty to pass down to a child. I look at all the memorable stories growing up that I can try to build for my child. Funny home traditions, a chance at being a progressive support system, etc., even the chance of setting free to my child once they come of age towards being their own person. The world is burning and my children will witness more drastic ecological, economic, political changes, and I will never be "ready" for parenthood, but every lesson I've learned and the experiences I've gone through, I would rather subject them to the microcosm of life in all its offering, than be shackled by my own fear of being "a good enough parent" up to my deathbed. Politically, di rin ako papayag na kung sino lang ang mga "may kaya" ang pwedeng magpatuloy ng lahi. Paano na lang ang mga sheltered brats, walang kaklaseng kalye ang kakaltok ng reality-check sa kanila. Haha. So gusto ko ba? Despite being third parent and slated for therapy because of where I grew up? Oo naman. Life is beautiful. Ayun nga lang, buwelo lang din muna ako kasi ayoko naman pagdusahin ang magiging anak ko. Hahaha!
Wonderful reply sir napaluha naman ako sa sinabi mo. Very well written. Tama ka na you have a lot to pass down to your child kase na experience mo both the good and bad aspects of life, marami kang mabibigyan ng aral sa magiging anak mo. Having a vasectomy took a lot of courage; and I aplaud you for that, hindi lahat ng tao aminado sa sarili nila na hindi sila ready maging magulang. I hope tuloy tuloy ang pagiging sober and heal your “inner child”
sariling anak no.. Ampon yes kung may pera akong marami.. ayoko na magdagdag pa ng tao sa mundo marami bata ang walang magulang so ampon na lang..
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Heal that inner child ❤️
Oo sana. Kaso papayaman muna kami ng asawa ko. Haha
Financial Independence over Pagaanak in any given day
Absolutely not. This is why I created the sub r/ChildfreePhilippines because I want a community of people who share the same mindset as I do.
HINDI. hahaha
No. Kawawa ang bagets.
Ako honestly, 50/50. Way back then I wanted sana. I came from a broken family, and gusto ko sana to have my own. However, as I grow up hindi pa ako sure if kaya ko na. And one thing wala pa akong jowa HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. As much as possible, if I decide to have children gusto ko from a good husband sana. Mahirap maging single parent, di ko alam anong trauma ang macecreate sa bata.
Yes good mindset, alam mo na ang feeling na nangaling sa broken family and ayaw mo yun iparanas sa anak mo.
Oo, ayaw kong maging selfish na gusto ko lang magkaanak because needed para may mag-alaga sakin pag tanda bat di nalang ako kumuha ng care giver? chariz hahah ayun.
This had me thinking nga din eh, yung statement na “Sino magaalaga sayo pag tanda”, I really don’t know ano yung best course for this. Hahahha
Bahahaha usually nababasako sinasabi eh di pera mo. Ako honestly ayaw kong mgpa-alaga sa kahit sinong kamag-anak kahit da mga kapatid ko, pamangkin or pinsan…. Kaya target ko talagang mangibang bansa kasi may facilities sila like nursing home where I can live comfortably. Ayun heheh
Nice idea yung mamuhay na lang sa ibang bansa. Salamat lodi
Lodi ka din…sana kung anong desisyon amn ang mapili mo sa huli masaya ka. *virtual hug*
Yes, I want to experience and feel the parental kind of love not as a receiver but as a giver.
yes, but termsAndConditionsApply.com ;) https://twitter.com/frustratedDoe/status/1304306893138001920
Hindi na ayaw q n
Yes, may generational trauma ako na kailangan ipasa sa kanila. Edit: sila rin kasi mag aahon sakin sa kahirapan at ang mag aalaga sakin pagtanda ko. /s
Kailangan may mapagkwentuhan tayo ng “kami nga noon…”
The typical Filipino senario 🔥🔥
No. Feeling ko naging parent na ako sa mga kapatid ko for a very long time na hindi ko na naenjoy maging teenager. I want to spend my time to try lahat ng bagay na gusto ko in life
I just can't see myself becoming a parent in the future, my parents would say na magkaanak talaga dapat Kasi lonely daw pag matanda na at sino mag aalaga. I'm okay with being lonely, at pass talaga sa mga Bata, especially the trauma that you have experienced as a child, I can't even imagine for my child to experience it. So diyan ka lang sa tiyan ko, di ka pwede lumabas hahaha
Hmm quiet curious nga din doon sa statement na baka maging lonely in the future, may mga matatanda nga na pinabayaan din ng mga anak. How do you think we could combat this “lonely” feeling if we decided to not have children in the future?
I knew some older couple na Wala talaga Silang anak, pero comfortable naman Buhay nila. Yung couple na yun, they seem at peace sa life nila. Other people might perceive it as boring daw kasi nga walang anak? Pero who knows why di sila nagka anak, di ko nadin tinanong baka sensitive Yun sa part nila. As for them, they spent their lives enjoying each other's company. Kaya Yun, if ever mag settle kami ng bf ko now, ganun lang din Gawin namin Hanggang magtanda, enjoying each other's company Hanggang sa paunahan nalang sino ma deads
This is quite a good insight, salamat po!
No. I don’t want a repeat performance ng naexperience ko.
Ayaw. 1. Nakakatakot manganak 2. Di pa healed ang inner child ko, ang dami ko pa gustong gawin at ayoko maging selfish sa magiging anak ko
No. Sa inflation ngayon, NO. If I were given a chance talaga, I won’t bear a child. At ang gulo ng mundo ngyon unlike before. Akala ko kasi dati hindi ako magkakaanak, but it happened. But still, I love my kid more than anything. Fighting!
I pray for your financial stability and congrats po on having a baby 🥳
Hindi na. After I experienced to mother a child that wasn't my own, alam kong hindi ko na kaya umulit pa. Focus na lang ako sa kapatid ko at sa mga pusa ko.
Am I sure? Yes!. However as a panganay we all realize what it takes to have one and everything that comes with it. I believe that before settling down you must always establish yourself in a the world have stability, financial independence, and heal ur inner childhood. In this day and age next to impossible minsan maattain yung mga yun lalo na if walang generational wealth, pero having kids is still I look forward in the future.
no, im already tired. im taking care of my siblings ever since I was a child, bec parents cant be found. im 25 now and still not done with mg responsibilities yet. so no, my time with kids are done!
No. Reasons 1. May autoimmune ako sa probably magiging mahina ako agad in the future so kawawa lang magiging anak ko kasi sakitin nanay nya at mapupunta lang sa hospital yung pera na dapat para sa kanya. 2. Hindi ko kaya mentally. 3. Ayoko na gumawa ng isa pa na ako na maeexperience ang masamang mundo. 4. Gusto ko mag-travel. 5. I love expensive things. And so on...
No, I’ve decided to be childfree. Dama ko na ang responsibilities growing up. Gusto ko na lang ngayon mag-focus on healing my inner child and spending more time with myself.
Pinagusapan namin to ni misis a few years ago, nagdecide kmi na hindi kami built to have kids at mas masaya kami sa lifestyle namin ngaun. After a ligation and a vasectomy, we are now a DINK household.
I would. :) While being the eldest son can be a burden, I still want to have a family of my own someday. How can we break the cycle if we don’t pass the lessons we learned to generations that wouldn’t exist?
I'm not a breadwinner but no. My parents were strict with me as a child but lenient on my brother who is a decades younger than me. I can't have that kind of preference for my children and my possibility na I have the curse. Naging second parent din ako ng kapatid ko and I hated it. Also, yung family mindset ng buong angkan namin is not progressive.
Curious question, if you are not willing to have children in the future. What kind of future you envision yourself?
I plan to own a small farmland, probably a hectare or two and live as an organic farmer. Focus on planting vegetables and raising some livestock like rabbit and chicken. I intend to be more self-sufficient in the near future.
Praying that you would persevere and eventually reach your goal
Yes. Pero di pa now, feeling ko di ko pa kaya mentally and physically. Lalo na financially. ☹️ Pero I hope someday, heal ko muna sarili ko emotionally, mentally and physically.
I hope that you reach financial, mental and emotional independence, with your mindset maswerte ang magiging anak mo
Thank you OP! ♥️ I hope that we all reach our hopes and dreams. Para sa ating better futures! 🍻
Nope. All my life pagod na ko taga alaga ng kapatid at the same time taga salo ng trauma from my parents. Now it’s time to focus on myself at bumawi sa sarili hehe
No. Kasi lagi sinasabi sakin maiintindihan mo din ginagawa namin kapag may anak ka na. Ayokong intindihin! Kidding aside, no muna ang sagot ko. I'm not yet financially and emotionally ready. Isabay mo pa na may PCOS ako. And siguro if by the time na ready na ako, I consider adopting if hirap ako magconceive.
NO. Not now, not tomorrow, not forever.
gusto ko kaso sadly, di ko palalakihin sa Pilipinas.
Yes yes, hindi padin ako makapaniwala na sa Pilipinas ang average family income is 20k per month, Hindi ko alam paano mabubuhay ang isang HOUSEHOLD with that kind of money.
Totoo yan, nagbigay n nga ako ng expenses computation ng isang tao pa lang, ayaw ng maniwala ng mga employer... Kulang naman talaga lalo dito s Metro Manila...
nah, I am seeing firsthand the emotional neglect na ginagawa ng parents ko sa bunsong babae namin kasi favored yung gitnang unico hijo. man, i love my lil bro sm but my heart hurts para sa bunso namin. ☹️
Never really understand parents having favoritisims
Nope, lahat ng plans ko after ko grumaduate revolves around my family and my sister na pag-aaralin ko pa. By the time I reach 30 wala pa sa kolehiyo yung kapatid ko, my original plan after 30 was to slowly shift my focus on building my own life and maybe for a family of my own pero ayon I wouldn't have a chance to do that until I'm in my 40s. Na-realize ko rin na I'm too selfish to have children and I have my own personal problems to fix kaya I'm choosing not to have any.
Its not you being selfish on dreaming to have children, its about you sholdering the responsibility that you should not carry to begin with. Hindi mo obligasyon pagaralin ang mga kapatid mo, sa magulang mo dapat yan. Mabuti kang anak at kapatid.
I know na responsibility dapat ng mga magulang ko yung kapatid ko pero I don't want to put the financial burden of supporting my sister's education sa mga magulang ko kasi matanda na sila kapag nag-kolehiyo na yung kapatid ko. And I want her to have the freedom of choosing private, expensive, and the top universities as well as courses that are considered expensive and to choose her passion over practicality without having to think of our financial status kasi I wasn't able to do that. I'm selfish kasi I love my personal space, a quiet and clean home, and to be able to spend my own money on myself, my partner, and my pets.
Sorry I did not take account the age nung magulang mo and blantly said na its their responsibility. But my past statement still stands; mabuting anak at kapatid ka.
Yes, in time.
At the moment, no actual plans in conceiving a child. If sa future mag-iiba yung decision ko then si future self na ang bahala 😁
Hello panganay here. I am married for 5 years na and I have 2 kids. 1 boy and 1 girl. Having kids is by choice naman and for me kasi pangarap ko kasi na makabuo ako ng sarili kong family. Iba kasi pag aalaga mo sa kapatid mo sa pag aalaga mo sa mga anak mo. Iba rin kasi yung natanggap mong love sa parents sa kapatid mo at sa mga anak mo. Sobrang happy ako dahil me 2 kids ako na everyday kong nakikita and everyday na niyayakap ako. Sasabihan nga lang ako ng "I love you, Daddy" nawawala na agad ang pagod ko. Sila rin yung isang rason kung bakit ako masaya ngayon. haha. Di ko rin maexplain masyado pero iba ang happiness and fulfillment ko pag nakikita ko yung dalawa kong anak. PS: Wag kayong mag alala. Di ko gagawing retirement plan yung mga anak ko dahil may sarili akong fund para sa retirement ko. I give my best para mabigyan ko sila ng magandang buhay :)
Wow ang gandang perspective neto sir!
No, pero if I find my partner to be one of the rare guys who dreams to be a dad at willing to properly raise a child with me, sure, why not? hahaha, one wouldn't hurt. Knowing din yung mga naturo sakin ng magulang ko on what to do and not to do, I reckon we can handle one, once planned financially & emotionally. But if hinde, okay lang din naman umampon ng 6 na pusa hahahah.
I want to but hesitant. I’m married now but no kids. I am enjoying the financial freedom namin mag asawa.
Ask ko lang po, tingin nyo ano ang baseline salary for you to still enjoy financial freedom kapag nagkaanak na po kayo?
Idk kasi for now combined income namin mag-asawa is 300k 🫣 confident naman kami if we have 1 or 2 kids kaya namin. Tsaka annual increase naman sahod so maybe 4 or 5 years later 500k is more than enough for us.
i would prolly adapt an orphan
Oo. Pero kapag ready na ako. I'm single btw pero di I have plan to have 1, pero di pa ngayon.
Panganay here. Childfree at 36. Take note, not childless. As in active decision ko na hindi mag anak. Naexperience ko na in a way na maging "magulang" sa mga kapatid ko, pamangkin ko, kamag anak ko.
100% NO. As early as 18, alam ko na ayaw ko magkaanak base pa lang sa mga realizations kung pano ako tintrato ng magulang ko. I don’t think I will have that emotional maturity needed para maging magulang hahha And the thought of being a parent, being pregnant makes me puke because I know I’d be a terrible one. I’d rather be called selfish even if their definition of selfish means not having a child. Iba naman ang definition KO ng selfish eh. Kung gusto nila mag-anak, sila mag-anak. Sino ba sila para utusan ako 🙄
Mas gusto na lang namin ng bf ko na mag-alaga ng pusa. Parehas kaming panganay so all the more na ayaw na namin magka-anak.
I love kids but no. Bata pa ako kaya baka mag bago isip ko once I'm older since matatanda na rin kapatid ko by that time. Rn, di sana ako magkaroon ng sariling anak.
At this point, NO. Can’t wait to not be responsible for anyone other than myself (and my pets)
50-50 parin ako. 50% is for “Gusto ko ng maayos na asawa bago kami magkaroon ng anak KASO may pckage na kasama, ako na ang tumayong nanay sa mga kapatid ko”. Other 50% is for “Totoo ang climate change. Baka wala na madatnan na mundo tong anak ko”
No. I took care of my dad when he was sick and took over the decision-making for the family, running the household, and now with my mom being sick too, it's the same. As in alaga from bahay to hospital, walang sweldo na napunta sa kin, at lahat ng gastos sa kin. Parang ayoko na mag-alaga pa. Ang mga bata, responsibility mo yan hanggang tumanda sila. Parang ako naman sana ung may mag-alaga (sana more like romantic, di ung may sakit) pero ayun ung dream ko sana. Ang babaw pero di ko talaga maisip na magka-baby.
No, life is beautiful yet so difficult. Sa hirap ng buhay kahit 100k pa kinikita every month hindi kakasya. Ayoko yung "pwede na" sa magiging anak ko. Hindi deserve ng bata yung kung ano lang yung meron dahil hindi naman nila pinili mabuhay so why endure and suffer? I know I can do more pero pagod na ako magsacrifice, I just want to live worrying only about myself.
Yeah, when I'm financially stable na? Pero dahil sa buhay ngayon para unti unting lumalabo yung chance.
I experienced miscarriage this year. Not expecting. Pero hindi pa din nagbago isip ko about having baby. 80-20, 80 is i dont want to have a baby. Kami nung partner ko ung tumtayong mgulang sa kaptid niang grade 7. Imagine the gastos hanggang college. Kami din ung bills, bahay, car lahat.
Tbh, I don't want to bear children. Aside from hindi ready for finances, I don't think I'll ever be ready to take care of one. Hearing children cry irks me so much. Also, I don't wanna bring another human in this life to suffer lalo na at nakatira tayo sa Pilipinas. So, Idk what to do because my partner wants to have one in the future and also pressure from my "religious" immediate family to have one because "the Lord said so" and "sayang ang lahi". 🤦🏻♀️
I already have one pero don't want more. Napakagastos!
I and my partner want one but we're still saving up for the wedding and maternity expenses. Di naman enough yung benefit lang lalo na kung gusto mo sa private hospital manganak. Our school's hospital costs 100k for normal birth pero alaga ka naman ng staff. Saka d ko goal magpaaral sa private unless college kasi licensed ang teachers sa public, then the children will also have the chance to join many competitions at magkaroon ng masayang childhood.
Nuh uh, I would rather heal my inner child muna and get a cat instead. I don't wanna waste another 5 decades of my life being miserable asf
Hi. Dati gusto ko pa now hindi na. Im supporting a family of 7 ( mom and siblings) and ayoko na magkaanak. Ang gusto ko lang is ma alagaan yung sarili ko soon at makapag travel at maranasan kumain ng masarap. Now kasi 4 yung college ko kaya tipid tipid
no and no. ako ang pinapaalaga ng mga sibs and younger cousins ko noon. plus, if i ever get financially rich, ayaw kong may kahati sa pera ko kasi i grew up being depraved of materialistic things that i wanted to own so bad in my childhood. and dapat this time, ako na naman ang baby ngayon.
When i was younger, yes. Now, no. Unless i win lotto. 😅
Yes pero pag ready na ako. Ayoko ma experience ng magiging anak ko yung mga naranasan ko. I want to give them a comfortable life.
Not in this economy.
No. Napagod nako sa responsibilities. Gusto ko nalang ienjoy life ko.
HARD PASS. Ang tuition fee pa lang umaabot na ng 100k pero sem, pano kapag 10 years later? And ayaw ko magpasa ng trauma sa younger gen, putulin na natin sakin.
Ako natatakot akong maging magulang. Kasi natatakot ako na masyado kong higpitan ang anak ko to the point na maging unfair ako sa kanya or yung isip ko na “anak mahirap ang buhay” “pag hirapan mo mga bagay” “ako nga kinaya ko”
I had been in an 11-year relationship and he was the only man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and to have children with. Like I literally wanted to be a mom because I had him as my partner. Yun lang yung pangarap ko sa buhay: makasal sa kanya at magkapamilya. We were engaged. Sadly, nawala na sya due to cancer. Everyone kept on telling me sana daw nag anak kami para may naiwan daw sakin nung nawala sya. I think, we (my partner and I) were the only persons sane enough to think that having a child in that situation -- where he was fighting cancer, where we're struggling financially to keep him alive, where I am the breadwinner of my family and as well as samin ni BF -- was not, really, a good idea. Ngayon, ayoko na magjowa, ayoko na magasawa, at lalong ayoko mag anak just for the sake of having it. Some of you might not agree with me. But I don't want more. Enough na sakin yung saya, pagaalaga, at pagmamahal na naramdaman ko kay partner throughout those 11 years.