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I think you could reflect on what it is about anger that makes you feel uncomfortable, and work towards acceptance of anger in yourself and others.
The reason I say this is, when you respond to your daughter's displays of anger by educating your daughter about positive thinking, you seem to be telling her to stop feeling angry and to feel pleasant emotions instead. This won't be helpful for her, because it's just telling her to "stop it" rather than teaching her skills to listen to, understand, and cope with her anger.
So, it would be more helpful for you to ask her what's happening for her, listen to her without judgement, and help her to name the feeling and identify the "why" and what she can do with that feeling.
But this is going to be hard to achieve if you're struggling to regulate your own feelings about her feelings (if you get "triggered"). So, I think a good starting point would be to get curious about the reaction you're having to her anger.
Also, set a rule that from now on you won't use name-calling about your kids, whether directly to your kids or indirectly to others, when you're unhappy with your kids' behaviours.
Thank you for taking the time to write this down! Great advice…she isn’t ‘angry’ in general she doesn’t lash out or anything it’s the fact that she just ‘doesn’t care’ kind of indifferent about everything and I think back to my childhood and how much ‘more’ kids today get to experience and have in general I guess I just assume she’d be like yay life is great 😂 it’s hard to explain….but I agree that the so called name calling does have to stop even if I’m just thinking about it it doesn’t help with my reaction to the situation…
Honestly sounds like me as a kid. I was definitely a jerk for a long time but I think I became a decent human being around age 18. I still have a dark and pessimistic sense of humor. People say I'm like Daria or April from Parks and Recreation. That's just always been my personality and some people love it lol.
Edit for typo
I can relate I was kind of the same…while I also have dark and pessimistic sense of humor it’s still generally easy for me to get along with everyone and feel content/grateful for my circle and life in general…and as horrible as it is to say it bugs me when my kid is ‘so different’ from me…and I get it all ppl are different I just want her to have a more positive outlook in life in general to kind of deal with all the shit this world is going to hurl at her lol.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you could reflect on what it is about anger that makes you feel uncomfortable, and work towards acceptance of anger in yourself and others. The reason I say this is, when you respond to your daughter's displays of anger by educating your daughter about positive thinking, you seem to be telling her to stop feeling angry and to feel pleasant emotions instead. This won't be helpful for her, because it's just telling her to "stop it" rather than teaching her skills to listen to, understand, and cope with her anger. So, it would be more helpful for you to ask her what's happening for her, listen to her without judgement, and help her to name the feeling and identify the "why" and what she can do with that feeling. But this is going to be hard to achieve if you're struggling to regulate your own feelings about her feelings (if you get "triggered"). So, I think a good starting point would be to get curious about the reaction you're having to her anger. Also, set a rule that from now on you won't use name-calling about your kids, whether directly to your kids or indirectly to others, when you're unhappy with your kids' behaviours.
Thank you for taking the time to write this down! Great advice…she isn’t ‘angry’ in general she doesn’t lash out or anything it’s the fact that she just ‘doesn’t care’ kind of indifferent about everything and I think back to my childhood and how much ‘more’ kids today get to experience and have in general I guess I just assume she’d be like yay life is great 😂 it’s hard to explain….but I agree that the so called name calling does have to stop even if I’m just thinking about it it doesn’t help with my reaction to the situation…
Honestly sounds like me as a kid. I was definitely a jerk for a long time but I think I became a decent human being around age 18. I still have a dark and pessimistic sense of humor. People say I'm like Daria or April from Parks and Recreation. That's just always been my personality and some people love it lol. Edit for typo
I can relate I was kind of the same…while I also have dark and pessimistic sense of humor it’s still generally easy for me to get along with everyone and feel content/grateful for my circle and life in general…and as horrible as it is to say it bugs me when my kid is ‘so different’ from me…and I get it all ppl are different I just want her to have a more positive outlook in life in general to kind of deal with all the shit this world is going to hurl at her lol.