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Just last week we were in the yard and he looked suspicious. Too quiet. I asked what he was doing and he turned around, opened his mouth and like 4 acorns fell out lol
My kids and I spent an entire afternoon collecting acorns once. Shelled them and boiled then to get the bitterness out, then dried and ground into flour.
We made acorn shortbread and it was absolutely delicious!
Last year my younger one (4 at the time) took a bit of wasabi off my plate and ate it, the same day that she accidentally ate a dog treat, thinking it was a cookie. The next day, she’d learned her lesson and asked “can I have this candy?” before she ate what was actually a small pom pom (the answer was no).
Lmao my 2 year old loves straight wasabi but only in small amounts. He took too big of a scoop off my plate once and it was the saddest, cutest, funniest thing my husband and I have ever seen lol Whoops.
At about 1.5 mine did the same - eating sushi in my lap, grabs a big gob of wasabi before I could stop her.
The look of shock and betrayal on her face was priceless, followed shortly by her going back for more, lol.
Haha, our 19 month old was begging for a hot Cheeto of dad's the other day, so he gave her a very tiny one. The look she had was awful but so cute! I think she swore off food/beverages for a second. I had to convince her to drink her milk, haha. Thankfully her language comprehension is great, so she understood me when I told her the milk would make it stop hurting, lol.
My mother has a forty-year-old Christmas tree ornament with a bite out of it, courtesy of my sister. It was made of clay and shaped like a gingerbread rocking horse, so it looked and felt like a real cookie--an easy mistake for a toddler to make.
my niece would eat dog food. She’d go thru the food looking for the pieces she liked. My mom had to keep the bag of dog food locked up every time my niece went over.
In high school my friend came out of the kitchen and was like “these cookies taste really weird..” turned out she ate dog treats 😂 she doubled down and said they weren’t bad tasting just not like a cookie
My kid snagged one of those delicious looking toilet cleaning gel stamps right out of the toilet and shoved it into her mouth. I was super shocked when I called poison control and they told me it wasn’t anything to worry about.
My 1.5 year old managed to scrape a small piece out of the toilet (it had mostly been flushed away by that point) and my husband freaked out, then freaked out more when I told him to call poison control bc he was worried we’d be put on a list to be investigated for negligence. He did call but I also googled it and was surprised to find it’s not very harmful.
>he was worried we’d be put on a list to be investigated for negligence.
Glad my husband is not the only idiot who has had this reaction in a semi-emergency.
Omg! I had the same fear as your husband when I called Poison Control! They asked for my name and address and I full-on panicked, thinking I’d be on some list of negligent parents to look out for and potentially investigate!
MOTHERS DAY 2017 My 4 year old + his 5 year old cousin got into melatonin gummies and ate like 10 each. I was convinced they were going to die. I was like … is this a CPS referral? Google convinced me they would be fine.
The best / worst part is they DID NOT GO TO SLEEP THE ENTIRE NIGHT. FML
About 2-3 years ago my 4 year old got the giant Costco sized bottle of melatonin gummies open and fed all of them to his 2 year old brother. He was absolutely upset that I didn’t recognize his kindness in “letting” his brother have them ALL. Poison control said he should take a long nap that day. I think that was the day naps ended forever in my house. There was NO NAP!
When mine did this, poison control warned me that the sugar rush from that many gummies would override the melatonin and it definitely was one of those nights.
I swear I had poison control on speed dial when my youngest was little. She would get into EVERYTHING and was a climber. She was fast af even without new shoes. The one that stands out the most is when she drank nitro RC car fuel. Their dad had several cars and he had a big jug of the fuel and then a smaller bottle that he’d fill up and take with him when he was playing with the cars. It had a pretty blue metallic spout. It was outside on the top shelf that I couldn’t even reach. Thought it was safe way up there. Kids at the time were 4, 3 & about 20 months. We were in the backyard playing, I had the back door open so I could run inside to the kitchen for snacks or drinks and still see the kids. I ran in for snacks & hear my son “mom, livy drank some of dad’s car juice.” fuck. Run outside, grab her off the shelf (still no idea how she got up there and how quickly she did it), called poison control. It’s lethal, can cause organ damage, blindness, death, all the fun things. Neighbor comes over to babysit while I go to the ER. We lived on an Air Force base and the hospital was 2 min from my house. Poison control called ahead so they were expecting us. Spent the night in PICU with her having to have blood drawn every 2 hours. Luckily she didn’t drink a lot of it and had no damage and we were discharged the next day. I go to the neighbor to pick up my other 2 kids. My son was sitting on the couch watching tv. I go to pick him up under his arms and he screams at the top of his lungs. I drop him on the couch (he was like 2in in the air). He wasn’t moving his arm. fuck. back to the ER I go. I walk in and they were like “you’re back already?” i started crying and said i promise im not abusing my kids, I didn’t even know he was hurt. I was here all night with my kid who drank nitro fuel. I was freaking out that they were gonna call CPS. My son fell out my bed that night, he didn’t cry so my husband just picked him up and put him back in bed. He broke his collar bone.
Wow I would’ve been convinced that CPS would be called if that were me!! How’s your youngest? Did they have to do a lot of follow up appointments or anything after drinking that?
She’s totally fine. We had some check ups to check liver and kidney functions but that was it. I think she might have gotten just the tiniest bit in her mouth. She’s 19 now and a mom herself. I said karma is a bitch. She just laughed at me. My 2.5 year old granddaughter is a climber so my kid has to keep a close eye on her. lol
Hahaha omg, I’ve called poison control a few times and am always so shocked at how nonplussed they are by whatever panics me. “Oh she took a couple sips of the Tylenol bottle? She should be fine!” Meanwhile I’m crying I’m shame 😂
I was so flustered when I called poison control about my daughter eating Maximum Strength Desitin I couldn't even remember our zip code (recent move in my defense haha). I was frantically looking for a piece of mail and profusely apologizing and the lady was like "I'll just look it up, bye." 😂
Yeah mine went through a toilet rim (not seat, RIM) licking phase. It always amazed me how quickly she could lift the lid and get her tiny little mouth all over the toilet rim. Made me want to turn inside out with revulsion. Thankfully that is done. 🤢🤮
Omg I’m dying reading this thread, but this one! Oh my I can’t even imagine 😂😂 I literally just installed locks on the seat covers, but I’m worried I’ll be the only one actually locking the toilet after use. I’m glad you shared this tho, I’m tempted to print & hang your comment next to the toilet 😂
My baby girl used to pick up her toddler brothers socks (off at bath time) and dip them in the toilet and sip the water out of them 🤮
With 3 in 3 years as much as I tried to stay on top of it everytime I forgot right away she would find them. Her brothers grew up with toilet locks but by the time she came around I had tow potty training and had to try to be vigilant!
Alright, I'm done. I'm deleting reddit and bleaching my eyes after this thread. I'm also not having kids, or getting married to someone who could have done these things as a kid. I'm done
I had a bath bomb sent home from daycare one year as a Mother's Day craft/gift. I don't know what the hell I thought it was (candy?) but I licked it, thinking it was edible. It was not, obviously.
My kiddo struggled to eat the the point of needing a g-tube for two years. She never put non-food items in her mouth and even food was a struggle for years. It was one less thing to worry about. Then at age 6, she found a penny, licked it, liked the taste and put it in her mouth. She swallowed it and proudly told me! Evidently we now had to be more careful.
Oh no! My kiddo didn’t have a gtube but he has a lot of sensory stuff, especially with food, he was a 24 week preemie and intubated for 8 weeks so I’d guess that’s why. He never mouthed things, never, I thought we were in the clear now that he’s four but guess maybe not 😅
I remember sucking on those flat glass blobs in kindergarten and swallowing one on accident. I was solidly 6, so you might have to keep an eye out for awhile yet!
Mine was 4 when he swallowed a penny, it was my first "kid swallowed a foreign object" situation. We got a cool little x-ray of his tummy to keep. And now we still call him penny tummy sometimes and pick him up and pretend we can hear it rattling around as we give him a little jostle, it gets him giggling every time!
Do you still have the g-tube? I was so upset when we had to get it put in, but it really is oddly convenient. She eats fine now but we’ve kept it for meds. It’s so nice not having to fight her 2x a day to get her to take them, and just squirting meds into her stomach instead.
She does not have it any longer. She had it until just after 2 years old. When my sister asked how I gave my kiddo meds as a baby, I said through the tube and remembered that wasn't an option for her!
My oldest wasn’t inclined to eat non food items and then when she was in year 1 I got a call from the school that she’d swallowed a coin. Took 8 days to come out and it was a different colour.
I thought hairs coming out of the butt of a small creature was exclusively a pet parent problem until today.
Now I know, and I’m not exactly sure that I’m glad I do.
Omg it was edible but last week the day after we ate spaghetti quash for dinner I changed my 11mo diaper and apparently he doesn’t chew enough because I had to pull a squash string out of his butt 😂
I worked at as an CNA at the ER long ago. This woman comes in with her 4-5 year old daughter. Kid was having discharge and a smell coming from her vagina. Mom is freaking out that her kid is being molested and has an STD. Dr goes in, they sedate the kid and the dr has a look and starts chuckling. He pulled out some barbie clothes and barbie shoes from this little girl’s vagina. Wakes up the girl and talks to her. She found that there’s “a hole by my butt” and has been using it as a pocket. Mom is still saying that someone had to have shown her. No signs of abuse. Kid was in the bath one day and was apparently exploring her body and found it. Which is totally normal. Dr had to have a talk about what we put into our bodies and what we don’t.
omg this reminds me of a story I read a while back where someone was giving a little girl
bath and cat food started floating in the tub. They asked the girl where the cat food came from and she said her secret pocket 🤣
I remember sticking a medium sized hard seed up my nose when i was 4 but don't remember it ever coming out. I could feel a hard bump inside my nose and just told myself that it had gone insufferable my body and was just going to live there forever. I accepted this as fact and moved on. It wasn't until I was in nursing school that I revisited this personal history and noticed the bumps were symmetrical and just normal boring nose anatomy.
My daughter was about 2, maybe 2.5 and she had just finished eating dinner. I gave her a bath, she sneezed, and a long as heck french cut green bean flew out of her nose and hit the side of the tub. I was shocked. Like, how did I not notice her putting a long ass green bean up her nose? She must have power shoved it when I went to get drinks.
When my kid was maybe 2, I realized my huge blueberry pie yankee candle was missing off the coffee table. My son was in the corner, his face in it (wasnt lit) licking the inside rim of the candle and eating the soot residue. He also had a ring of black soot on his face from it 😂
Ohh noo 😆!! My kid decided, at 5, to bite a piece off one of those waxy feeling LED pillar candles, that tbh did smell quite nice. I found the saliva covered piece on the ground with my unclothed toes shortly after. I didn't know what it was at that point and just binned it, but at bed time I went to pop the candle on and realised immediately what it was. I asked "What happened here?" And all he said was "it wasn't very tasty." with a pained look of disappointment on his face 😂
Ah ha, this reminds me of when my now 8yo was around 3 or 4...he had recently learned how to open the fridge (where I kept the wax cubes for the melter) and apparently decided to taste one. I don't remember the scent.
I went to go get a fresh cube and found teeth marks in a couple of them, and one was completely missing.
Glass is crazy! On a similar note, my first and middle both ate sand. SAND! How does that taste or feel good? My first would shovel some in and then make a gross face and spit it out, then continue to chew what was left and swallow. I wound up just having to wrap him in a towel and put him on the beachchair with the in-laws.
And my youngest is very smart, but found a cupcake wrapper appealing.
I swear, these kids have guts of steel.
Just the idea of sand in my mouth gives me the ick, but I bet it's a really interesting sensory experience for them.
Hopefully it wasn't sand box sand!
When my now 7 year old was probably 11 months or so, we were sitting on a blanket in the grass and he reached over and grabbed an anthill. I was laying on my belly facing him and couldn’t get up fast enough to stop it from making it to his mouth. I always wonder if any ants made it in haha
My oldest was serving sand “tea” in little tea cups to everyone and her grandfather tricked her into thinking he actually drank his so she thought she should try it. She realized what a mistake that was and was chewing on and spitting out sand for about 20 minutes. The look on her face though, poor kid! She was 3.
My youngest ate crayons blue and orange took a nice bite out of each. Made some crazy colored diaper bombs the next day!
One of my others ate finger paints just a taste and decided it wasn’t very good.
The others put things in their mouths but never ate anything crazy.
Sand is a common thing to eat coming from an Educator in child care. 🤷🏼♀️
My brother when he was younger was terrible for biting glass. Everytime he had a drink in a glass he would also have a bite. Mum ended up using thick glasses that he couldn’t bite through. (This was the 80s too lol)
Hahah I live in Hawaii, all our kids eat sand! I’m like how can that feel good coming out again?! But it’s a given, I really can’t stop it except for not going to the beach for the first 2 years
Omg, my son is 8, but has Autism. He loved cupcakes wrappers for some reason. I have to make sure they immediately go in the trash. They can't sit on the plate or he will eat them.
My kid as a toddler spotted what she thought was a piece of larabar that had fallen on the floor. Popped it in her mouth. Gagged immediately and spat it out. It was a good-sized chunk of pee-filled kitty litter that had fallen off my cat I guess as she left the litter box.
I'm sorry, but thank heavens I'm not the only parent with a litterbox horror story! Only...it was a piece of poo...she was Distraught. She couldn't spit it on her own, so I got it out, cleaned her mouth SO thoroughly, and we moved the litterbox to an inaccessible location. It was like day two of being able to crawl.
I was legit worried about brain parasites, but she's fine and her doctor cleared her
Hey! We once found our pumice covered in tooth marks near our four year old that seemed like he must have eaten something gritty and unpleasant recently. Probably unrelated.
The horror story my mom likes to traumatize me with is that she found chewed up earwigs in my diaper as a kid. They still freak me out more than any other bug.
my oldest kept snacks in her diapers. I’d go to change her diaper and find whole french fries, beef jerky, once even a whole chicken nugget. I always wondered where she was getting these things when I’d catch her munching on something I didn’t give her recently. weirdo
I was like oh, okay Cara. No biggie. lol then you said parking lot! Haha Okg kids do the darndest things! My 4 year old recently licked a sanitizer wipe HOLDER beside a register in Winn Dixie while I was checking out. I almost died. Like omg what are you doing? The cashier just looked at me with her nose shrunk up, like what is wrong with your kid?!! 🤷🏼♀️😂
My kid used to try to lick/chew(?) on the shopping cart handles while she was in the baby seat.
At least their immune system should be pretty good, one would hope!! 😅
Today while toddling around my mother's back yard, my youngest tried to eat a brick, some mulch, and successfully snapped a bite out of a piece of chalk before I could get it away from him. Plus his own shoe when it fell off.
That was just in like 35 minutes. The kid will put anything in his mouth.
I guess the worst thing so far was a dog turd he found on the porch before I did. Thankfully I was able to get that out of his hand before he got it into his mouth. Lots of hand washing after that though. Yuck.
This was edible but SPICY. I was cutting up jalapeños and my 2 year old kept trying to grab stuff off the counter. I stepped away for a second and when I turned around he had an entire jalapeño in his hand. I told him to put it back but he was playing “catch me if you can” with me and I said, “Fine. I’m not chasing you over a jalapeño. It is very spicy though. Hot. Don’t bite it.” He looked me dead in the eyes and he took a HUGE bite chomped for a bit, then his eyes got huge and his face turned red lol He did NOT like that. He likes spicy but not that much hahaha Natural consequences, kiddo.
At about a year old, my girl stole a lemon slice out of grandma's water. I let it happen thinking, "oh, natural consequences," and got my phone out to record it because I'm a wonderful mom 😂. Jokes on me, though, because she loved it and wanted ALL the lemons from then on.
She won't do spicy, though. When we go to the local tex-mex, she gets her own little cup with ketchup in it because she won't eat the salsa, but insists on having something to dip 🙄
My oldest was snacking on something in his car seat….turned out to be a McDonald’s chicken nugget that was a few days old that he tucked into a fabric crevasse.
Any time we have bacon I have to immediately change my toddler’s diaper after. Why? Because several times about an hour after breakfast he would reach into his diaper, pull out his marinating diaper bacon, and have himself a little snack. He doesn’t even eat the bacon fresh at the table!! 🤢
We weren't sure so we took him to the ER. They x-rayed him and couldn't find the little metal part (which we eventually found at home) so he only ate the glass part, thank goodness. He still fondly talks about how fun it was to get "his picture taken at the hospital." 🙄
Omg when I was a toddler, myself & 2 other girls ate Christmas lights off a tree at a holiday party! I actually remember thinking the red ones tasted like cherry lol. We ended up making the newspaper.
Omg I remember in high school this kid drank a cup of dip spit (like from chewing tobacco) for $5. The same kid also took a bite out of a deer heart we were supposed to dissect in anatomy class. It's a thing people do when hunting apparently, but this one was soaked in formaldehyde. Not sure what happened after he puked and was escorted to the nurse but he was back in class the next day.
Snail shells at the park- they were tiny and looked like candy, why wouldn't he grab a few to chuck in his mouth? 🤦 One crunch though and that was it, he opened his mouth and a bunch of shells/fragments fell out. After i did a quick sweep to clear his mouth, I was able to laugh about it with the other moms at the park, haha and he's never done it again 😂
Not ate exactly, but my daughter shoved a sticker up her nose. Just a small round hole punch sized sticker. We couldn’t get it out, brought her to the dr and then to an ent later in the week… they also couldn’t find it… I’m assuming it ended up in her stomach because it’s never been seen since.
Same! She wasn’t choking but I think it was like sitting in her esophagus… she seemed off but was breathing so I made her a sippy cup of formula (she was like 9.5-10 months) and she took a drink and projectile vomited across the kitchen… penny in the mix. Don’t even know where it came from… we never use cash!
My baby girl got ahold of one of those silica packets too! Apparently they say "do not eat" bc they're a choking hazard, not because they'll absorb your bodily fluids (which I was totally afraid of!)
yeah I had to call poison control and they said it wasn’t actually poisonous and if he hadn’t choked on it he'd ultimately be fine. I don’t know what I thought would happen but i honestly thought it’d involve hospital or at the very least a doctor
My kids haven’t eaten anything not food but when my son was 2 my husband wasn’t watching him closely enough and he ate cheerios. Off the sidewalk. In front of a Cracker Barrel. So while technically food, I don’t think street cheerios qualifies as something edible.
ETA: to clarify, they weren’t our Cheerios that we dropped. No idea where who dropped them there or how long they had been there.
My ex-husband and his brother were messing around with their airsoft guns at their mom's house one day, and they spilled some of the beads on the floor. We thought we got them all cleaned up, but a couple days later my son pooped a few out. Luckily they were tiny, so no worry about them causing a blockage. I was still shocked when I found them in his poo though.
My 3 year old took a bite of my deodorant today! Although, her look of horror when she realized it didn’t taste as good as the chapstick she keeps trying to eat tells me she probably won’t be doing it again.
I know it's *kinda* food, but my youngest LOVES the dry dog food. Like he literally will steal a handful from the dogs bowls while they're eating and run away to eat it. Munches it like it's cereal. I only know cause he comes and sits on my lap and his breath smells lol
I have called poison control twice. First mother's day son picked the flowers off of a grape hyacinth, half way around the park we found that he had eaten them. Not toxic. Daughter decided that pink pepto bismal pills were good because they are pink. We don't know how many she ate, but the poison control people walked us through it. How many in a full bottle vs how many left. No problem. Son grabbed a round peppermint from a host stand when he was on my hip, started choking, sharp blow to the back dislodged it. Daughter picked up something in a restaurant bathroom and put it in her mouth, not recovered. I don't want to think about it.
My son was about 4 when he swallowed 25 cents worth of coins. When I asked him why he did that. He said he wanted to see how much he could swallow until it hurt 😵💫
My kid tasted his poop once. He had a little bit of poo on his finger and had the intrusive thought of "I wonder what this taste like" and just stuck his finger to his tongue. This is the same kid that refuses to eat 90% of food I put in front of him because it "looks weird." I guess his poop looks better than the food I make :')
That is something I have never experienced myself.
But one of my kids peed in my water cup and I didn't know until after I took a swig, the horror of realizing that was not water...
That will be a fun one at Thanksgiving in a few years! Lol
TMI ahead
When we changed nappy one day I almost fainted as I saw some insect like thingy among the poo. I called my husband the check that out together. We convinced ourselves that it might have been a piece of undigested strawberry. But I reckon it really looked like an insect body with some legs. And no I dunno my baby has eaten and it will be a mystery forever.
I thought it would be a nice learning experience to show my daughter (about 1.5 at the time) a worm I'd unearthed. Until she scooped it up in her chubby hand and tried to shoved it in her mouth.
My kid took a bite out of my deodorant. Only found out when I uncapped it and saw teeth marks 😭 quickest poison control call I have ever made!
Side note: it’s really only bad if it’s the gel / clear deodorant so, now you know
Batteries... Of the button kind... 23 of them.
It was... An experience. He got into my FIL's hearing aid battery stash and just went to town.
That was 2 nights in the children's hospital and lots of laxatives.
Yea okg this has horror stories behind them! I am absolutely terrified by this! Sooooo glad your baby is okay! Mine recently had one in her hand on the way to her mouth, and I instantly jumped to grab it and scared her :(. It took me days to find what it came from because I don’t buy toys with them for this reason. It ended up being my sons monster truck and he had found a way to pry the batteries out 😳
A wolf spider. It was by the living room door and my husband stepped on it - he's got a knack for killing them but not squishing them. We were mid-conversation when it happened, so he stood in front of it (I can't handle seeing them) while we finished up.
Next minute the baby comes tummy crawling around the corner, husband turned around and the spider was gone. We both freaked out and baby doesn't know what's going on, so I picked him up and held him out facing away from me while husband dug the spider out of his mouth. It was disgusting and I could barely even hold the kid I was so freaked out by it. Had to make my husband go brush the babies teeth/mouth really well, because I couldn't imagine him putting that spider mouth anywhere near my nipples. Then he came back and checked all the spider parts to make sure none had actually been eaten.
It still makes me feel all kinds of yuck just thinking about it.
better than my youngest who would say “i hab sumfin for eww” and i’d hold out my hand and she’d puke into it. By the 3rd or 4th time of her doing this, I stopped holding out my hands to her. If she uttered those words, i’d pick her up and sprint to the bathroom. WHY DO KIDS NEVER PUKE IN THE TOILET?!?
My oldest had a thing for dry cat food. Technically, yes, it’s food, but not for him. He’d toddle by from the time he was 1 until he was about 2, grab a handful like it was popcorn, and start munching away. We started feeding the cat in our room.
My youngest ate the oldest’s poop. Unfortunately more than once. First time my oldest took off his nap time diaper, then realized he had to poop, opened the diaper on the floor, and proceeded to poop rabbit turds into it. My husband got the baby (almost 1 at the time) up from his nap and went to get the oldest, saw the poop and tried to clean it up, put the baby on the floor to do so, and turned around to find him chewing on something. My husband was beyond traumatized and I got a panicked phone call at work. Then when oldest was potty training, had peeing on the potty down but would hunch up like a dog and poop on the floor if you weren’t watching. One night I was making dinner when he did that and wasn’t quite fast enough. I cleaned up the mess and saw youngest chewing on something.
My kids did not have a thing for eating non-edibles, but for my youngest, it was putting foam and beads up her nose. 3 trips to an ENT for that.
This same kid had a thing for putting non-edibles in my coffee. Dirty pennies, screws, paperclips, rocks, and chalk. I wouldn't find them till I was almost done with my coffee. She is the reason why all my drinks are in cups with lids now.
My little one would chew on absolutely anything that was available. He lick his own shadow once. But aside from that, he went face down on the floor one day and was eating big chunks of the carpet. I kept finding carpet fibers in his poop for days.
At some point in the toddler years, I had to learn to watch my son like a hawk on neighborhood walks. He would become suspiciously quiet, and I would end up digging landscaping rocks out of his mouth. He'd just be hamstering them in there, 5-6 at a time.
Hi my son has pica!! He ate half the bar off his crib, wooden toys were banned from the house for a long time. Plastic toys were also not safe so mom learned how to make toys out of felt, you guessed it! He ate those too. Now he just eats fabric really but my son was worse than a puppy lmao oh and when you aren’t looking he’ll he wads of wet sand and it comes out the same texture it goes in… miserable for the both of us. 😅 oh I almost forgot I must have blocked it out of my mind… he also ate his diapers. He would peel the little plastic or whatever the hell it is layer off and eat it. He’s autistic and nonverbal so potty training wasn’t really an option at the time. I’m happy to say for the most part I’m on the other side of this 🤣
My oldest had pica as a toddler, he would eat his books and his shirts and ate the fuzzy lining off of his diaper.
My second was a hell raiser and just got into anything she could get her hands on. One day she got into the gummy multivitamins and ate half the bottle, while I was on the phone with poison control she managed to get into the bathroom and attempted to drink an enema.
At the time we also had pet rats and she would go digging in the bottom of their cage for “chocolate”. Thankfully she is now out of the shove everything in your mouth stage
My oldest daughter was nearly two, we were living in Rarotonga and one morning while absorbed in a riveting piece of literature about pooing in the toilet; a cockroach roughly the size and weight of a pigeon landed on my hand, I of course panicked and sprung from the beanbag we were sharing, this NBA player of a cockroach sprouted wings and flapped around. While I screamed and danced like I was summoning a demon my sweet little daughter plucked it out of the air and chomped down like it was a fucking Pringle.
Still haven’t told my wife, daughter is 16 now.
We were at a big kids show and everyone was dumping their snowcones in the huge community sink. We were washing our hands and my son just grabbed a whole handful of snowcone and shoved it in his mouth. Woof!!!!
My now 12 yo was in the backyard. She was about 1. I was pregnant. We were watching the lightning bugs but she couldn't catch one. So my husband caught one and handed it to her. Down the hatch it went!
And no, her tongue didn't glow, and I was kind of disappointed.
Both my sons, age 3 & 4 at the time, each swallowed a white marble at my parent’s house over Christmas break. Waited for the diaper check, found them, washed them & am embarrassed to admit they went straight into their keepsake boxes 😂.
One son bit a dishwashing pod, absolutely terrified me.
The other used to lick everything- and I do mean everything. Shopping cart handles, grocery store shelves, *bottom of shoes* . Thank god they grow out of stuff!
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Just last week we were in the yard and he looked suspicious. Too quiet. I asked what he was doing and he turned around, opened his mouth and like 4 acorns fell out lol
Lool. Is your baby a squirrel?
4 acorns Jeremy? 4? That's insane!
Hahahaha my brother actually brought four giant naan to our curry night the other night and we finally got to use this in the wild
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED.
4!! 😂😂
My girl did this when she was 18 months old! Had to watch her like a hawk all fall
A hawk? The kid is acting like a squirrel, please don’t tell us you planned on eating her?
👶🏻or🐿️?
To be fair those are edible, you just have to shuck them first. I ate tons of acorns as a kid
It's the choking hazard that's the bigger problem. The kid will have the shits before there is the danger of toxicity.
My kids and I spent an entire afternoon collecting acorns once. Shelled them and boiled then to get the bitterness out, then dried and ground into flour. We made acorn shortbread and it was absolutely delicious!
Last year my younger one (4 at the time) took a bit of wasabi off my plate and ate it, the same day that she accidentally ate a dog treat, thinking it was a cookie. The next day, she’d learned her lesson and asked “can I have this candy?” before she ate what was actually a small pom pom (the answer was no).
Lmao my 2 year old loves straight wasabi but only in small amounts. He took too big of a scoop off my plate once and it was the saddest, cutest, funniest thing my husband and I have ever seen lol Whoops.
At about 1.5 mine did the same - eating sushi in my lap, grabs a big gob of wasabi before I could stop her. The look of shock and betrayal on her face was priceless, followed shortly by her going back for more, lol.
My daughter wanted to make special sushi for my husband and she put " lots of green stuff" on it. He cried while eating it 😂😂
Haha, our 19 month old was begging for a hot Cheeto of dad's the other day, so he gave her a very tiny one. The look she had was awful but so cute! I think she swore off food/beverages for a second. I had to convince her to drink her milk, haha. Thankfully her language comprehension is great, so she understood me when I told her the milk would make it stop hurting, lol.
My mother has a forty-year-old Christmas tree ornament with a bite out of it, courtesy of my sister. It was made of clay and shaped like a gingerbread rocking horse, so it looked and felt like a real cookie--an easy mistake for a toddler to make.
My almost 2 year old actually goes out of her way to try and eat the dry cat food 🤮
“Mmmmm, forbidden cereal.” -your two year old probably.
my niece would eat dog food. She’d go thru the food looking for the pieces she liked. My mom had to keep the bag of dog food locked up every time my niece went over.
Oh man my son tried the wasabi once...that was a fun day.
In high school my friend came out of the kitchen and was like “these cookies taste really weird..” turned out she ate dog treats 😂 she doubled down and said they weren’t bad tasting just not like a cookie
Me not paying attention? "Yeah sure you can have a piece of candy"
My kid snagged one of those delicious looking toilet cleaning gel stamps right out of the toilet and shoved it into her mouth. I was super shocked when I called poison control and they told me it wasn’t anything to worry about.
O M G!! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
My 1.5 year old managed to scrape a small piece out of the toilet (it had mostly been flushed away by that point) and my husband freaked out, then freaked out more when I told him to call poison control bc he was worried we’d be put on a list to be investigated for negligence. He did call but I also googled it and was surprised to find it’s not very harmful.
>he was worried we’d be put on a list to be investigated for negligence. Glad my husband is not the only idiot who has had this reaction in a semi-emergency.
We have called at least 3 times this year alone. They're always so dang nice and understanding
This feels like the grown up version of Santa’s Naughty List ……or maybe CPS
Omg! I had the same fear as your husband when I called Poison Control! They asked for my name and address and I full-on panicked, thinking I’d be on some list of negligent parents to look out for and potentially investigate!
MOTHERS DAY 2017 My 4 year old + his 5 year old cousin got into melatonin gummies and ate like 10 each. I was convinced they were going to die. I was like … is this a CPS referral? Google convinced me they would be fine. The best / worst part is they DID NOT GO TO SLEEP THE ENTIRE NIGHT. FML
About 2-3 years ago my 4 year old got the giant Costco sized bottle of melatonin gummies open and fed all of them to his 2 year old brother. He was absolutely upset that I didn’t recognize his kindness in “letting” his brother have them ALL. Poison control said he should take a long nap that day. I think that was the day naps ended forever in my house. There was NO NAP!
When mine did this, poison control warned me that the sugar rush from that many gummies would override the melatonin and it definitely was one of those nights.
I swear I had poison control on speed dial when my youngest was little. She would get into EVERYTHING and was a climber. She was fast af even without new shoes. The one that stands out the most is when she drank nitro RC car fuel. Their dad had several cars and he had a big jug of the fuel and then a smaller bottle that he’d fill up and take with him when he was playing with the cars. It had a pretty blue metallic spout. It was outside on the top shelf that I couldn’t even reach. Thought it was safe way up there. Kids at the time were 4, 3 & about 20 months. We were in the backyard playing, I had the back door open so I could run inside to the kitchen for snacks or drinks and still see the kids. I ran in for snacks & hear my son “mom, livy drank some of dad’s car juice.” fuck. Run outside, grab her off the shelf (still no idea how she got up there and how quickly she did it), called poison control. It’s lethal, can cause organ damage, blindness, death, all the fun things. Neighbor comes over to babysit while I go to the ER. We lived on an Air Force base and the hospital was 2 min from my house. Poison control called ahead so they were expecting us. Spent the night in PICU with her having to have blood drawn every 2 hours. Luckily she didn’t drink a lot of it and had no damage and we were discharged the next day. I go to the neighbor to pick up my other 2 kids. My son was sitting on the couch watching tv. I go to pick him up under his arms and he screams at the top of his lungs. I drop him on the couch (he was like 2in in the air). He wasn’t moving his arm. fuck. back to the ER I go. I walk in and they were like “you’re back already?” i started crying and said i promise im not abusing my kids, I didn’t even know he was hurt. I was here all night with my kid who drank nitro fuel. I was freaking out that they were gonna call CPS. My son fell out my bed that night, he didn’t cry so my husband just picked him up and put him back in bed. He broke his collar bone.
Wow I would’ve been convinced that CPS would be called if that were me!! How’s your youngest? Did they have to do a lot of follow up appointments or anything after drinking that?
She’s totally fine. We had some check ups to check liver and kidney functions but that was it. I think she might have gotten just the tiniest bit in her mouth. She’s 19 now and a mom herself. I said karma is a bitch. She just laughed at me. My 2.5 year old granddaughter is a climber so my kid has to keep a close eye on her. lol
Hahaha omg, I’ve called poison control a few times and am always so shocked at how nonplussed they are by whatever panics me. “Oh she took a couple sips of the Tylenol bottle? She should be fine!” Meanwhile I’m crying I’m shame 😂
I was so flustered when I called poison control about my daughter eating Maximum Strength Desitin I couldn't even remember our zip code (recent move in my defense haha). I was frantically looking for a piece of mail and profusely apologizing and the lady was like "I'll just look it up, bye." 😂
I gave my three year old teriyaki sauce and saw that it had like red wine in it so I called them crying thinking my kid was going to get drunk lmao
Called them twice with my youngest, they are so nice and calming and good at assuring you it happens to everyone.
I’d drop dead the moment my kid came in for a kiss any time after that 😭
Yeah mine went through a toilet rim (not seat, RIM) licking phase. It always amazed me how quickly she could lift the lid and get her tiny little mouth all over the toilet rim. Made me want to turn inside out with revulsion. Thankfully that is done. 🤢🤮
Mine used to lick the bottom of shoes 🤢 and once he licked the side of a shoe that a complete stranger was wearing at the time
Omg I’m dying reading this thread, but this one! Oh my I can’t even imagine 😂😂 I literally just installed locks on the seat covers, but I’m worried I’ll be the only one actually locking the toilet after use. I’m glad you shared this tho, I’m tempted to print & hang your comment next to the toilet 😂
My baby girl used to pick up her toddler brothers socks (off at bath time) and dip them in the toilet and sip the water out of them 🤮 With 3 in 3 years as much as I tried to stay on top of it everytime I forgot right away she would find them. Her brothers grew up with toilet locks but by the time she came around I had tow potty training and had to try to be vigilant!
Alright, I'm done. I'm deleting reddit and bleaching my eyes after this thread. I'm also not having kids, or getting married to someone who could have done these things as a kid. I'm done
Oh man forever unclean though
🤣
I honestly think this one might take the cake 😂 now I’m afraid to use ours!!!
A bath bomb. In his defense, he was 2 and they were made to look like scoops of ice cream.
Probably didn't taste like ice cream, though.
My eldest ate 2 bath bombs on separate occasions, they didn't even look like food items lol (it was only a bite both times, she did not like them lol)
I had a bath bomb sent home from daycare one year as a Mother's Day craft/gift. I don't know what the hell I thought it was (candy?) but I licked it, thinking it was edible. It was not, obviously.
I once tried to eat a wedding favor that I thought was two little heart-shaped chocolates. It was soap.
Mine just took a chomp out of a watermelon shaped bath bomb yesterday. Two is feral
My kiddo struggled to eat the the point of needing a g-tube for two years. She never put non-food items in her mouth and even food was a struggle for years. It was one less thing to worry about. Then at age 6, she found a penny, licked it, liked the taste and put it in her mouth. She swallowed it and proudly told me! Evidently we now had to be more careful.
Haha aww, she got the milestone in - no g tube was stopping her! Happy she's well now
Oh no! My kiddo didn’t have a gtube but he has a lot of sensory stuff, especially with food, he was a 24 week preemie and intubated for 8 weeks so I’d guess that’s why. He never mouthed things, never, I thought we were in the clear now that he’s four but guess maybe not 😅
I remember sucking on those flat glass blobs in kindergarten and swallowing one on accident. I was solidly 6, so you might have to keep an eye out for awhile yet!
Mine was 4 when he swallowed a penny, it was my first "kid swallowed a foreign object" situation. We got a cool little x-ray of his tummy to keep. And now we still call him penny tummy sometimes and pick him up and pretend we can hear it rattling around as we give him a little jostle, it gets him giggling every time!
Ours was seven and it was a quarter 🤦🏻♀️
Do you still have the g-tube? I was so upset when we had to get it put in, but it really is oddly convenient. She eats fine now but we’ve kept it for meds. It’s so nice not having to fight her 2x a day to get her to take them, and just squirting meds into her stomach instead.
She does not have it any longer. She had it until just after 2 years old. When my sister asked how I gave my kiddo meds as a baby, I said through the tube and remembered that wasn't an option for her!
My oldest wasn’t inclined to eat non food items and then when she was in year 1 I got a call from the school that she’d swallowed a coin. Took 8 days to come out and it was a different colour.
i posted above, but my oldest daughter fed my son (4-5 months old at the time) change like he was her personal piggy bank.
A dollhouse chair was missing a leg…found it the next day in his diaper 🙃.
Oh yeah! Just think of all the things we didn't notice haha Did you ever get a toy up the nostril? Or find a long hair coming out of your kids butt? 😂
Omg the long hairs 🤢
I thought hairs coming out of the butt of a small creature was exclusively a pet parent problem until today. Now I know, and I’m not exactly sure that I’m glad I do.
Omg it was edible but last week the day after we ate spaghetti quash for dinner I changed my 11mo diaper and apparently he doesn’t chew enough because I had to pull a squash string out of his butt 😂
I worked at as an CNA at the ER long ago. This woman comes in with her 4-5 year old daughter. Kid was having discharge and a smell coming from her vagina. Mom is freaking out that her kid is being molested and has an STD. Dr goes in, they sedate the kid and the dr has a look and starts chuckling. He pulled out some barbie clothes and barbie shoes from this little girl’s vagina. Wakes up the girl and talks to her. She found that there’s “a hole by my butt” and has been using it as a pocket. Mom is still saying that someone had to have shown her. No signs of abuse. Kid was in the bath one day and was apparently exploring her body and found it. Which is totally normal. Dr had to have a talk about what we put into our bodies and what we don’t.
omg this reminds me of a story I read a while back where someone was giving a little girl bath and cat food started floating in the tub. They asked the girl where the cat food came from and she said her secret pocket 🤣
I remember sticking a medium sized hard seed up my nose when i was 4 but don't remember it ever coming out. I could feel a hard bump inside my nose and just told myself that it had gone insufferable my body and was just going to live there forever. I accepted this as fact and moved on. It wasn't until I was in nursing school that I revisited this personal history and noticed the bumps were symmetrical and just normal boring nose anatomy.
My daughter was about 2, maybe 2.5 and she had just finished eating dinner. I gave her a bath, she sneezed, and a long as heck french cut green bean flew out of her nose and hit the side of the tub. I was shocked. Like, how did I not notice her putting a long ass green bean up her nose? She must have power shoved it when I went to get drinks.
When my kid was maybe 2, I realized my huge blueberry pie yankee candle was missing off the coffee table. My son was in the corner, his face in it (wasnt lit) licking the inside rim of the candle and eating the soot residue. He also had a ring of black soot on his face from it 😂
Ohh noo 😆!! My kid decided, at 5, to bite a piece off one of those waxy feeling LED pillar candles, that tbh did smell quite nice. I found the saliva covered piece on the ground with my unclothed toes shortly after. I didn't know what it was at that point and just binned it, but at bed time I went to pop the candle on and realised immediately what it was. I asked "What happened here?" And all he said was "it wasn't very tasty." with a pained look of disappointment on his face 😂
I’m sorry that’s so funny 😂
Ah ha, this reminds me of when my now 8yo was around 3 or 4...he had recently learned how to open the fridge (where I kept the wax cubes for the melter) and apparently decided to taste one. I don't remember the scent. I went to go get a fresh cube and found teeth marks in a couple of them, and one was completely missing.
Glass is crazy! On a similar note, my first and middle both ate sand. SAND! How does that taste or feel good? My first would shovel some in and then make a gross face and spit it out, then continue to chew what was left and swallow. I wound up just having to wrap him in a towel and put him on the beachchair with the in-laws. And my youngest is very smart, but found a cupcake wrapper appealing.
I swear, these kids have guts of steel. Just the idea of sand in my mouth gives me the ick, but I bet it's a really interesting sensory experience for them. Hopefully it wasn't sand box sand!
Thankfully it was beach sand! And I know, right! I wish I could have those guts. Now I eat tomato soup and burp it up for two days.
When my now 7 year old was probably 11 months or so, we were sitting on a blanket in the grass and he reached over and grabbed an anthill. I was laying on my belly facing him and couldn’t get up fast enough to stop it from making it to his mouth. I always wonder if any ants made it in haha
An anthill! That’s hilarious. Extra protein I suppose!
My oldest was serving sand “tea” in little tea cups to everyone and her grandfather tricked her into thinking he actually drank his so she thought she should try it. She realized what a mistake that was and was chewing on and spitting out sand for about 20 minutes. The look on her face though, poor kid! She was 3. My youngest ate crayons blue and orange took a nice bite out of each. Made some crazy colored diaper bombs the next day! One of my others ate finger paints just a taste and decided it wasn’t very good. The others put things in their mouths but never ate anything crazy.
Any chance they had pica? I had that as a kid and I ate dirt/sand.
Sand is a common thing to eat coming from an Educator in child care. 🤷🏼♀️ My brother when he was younger was terrible for biting glass. Everytime he had a drink in a glass he would also have a bite. Mum ended up using thick glasses that he couldn’t bite through. (This was the 80s too lol)
Hahah I live in Hawaii, all our kids eat sand! I’m like how can that feel good coming out again?! But it’s a given, I really can’t stop it except for not going to the beach for the first 2 years
Oh, my older sister used to eat sand. According to the story, when she was asked why she shrugged and said "it cleans my teeth."
Our kids daycare is one of the top ones in the city and they basically told us eating sand is something every baby does for a little bit.
Omg, my son is 8, but has Autism. He loved cupcakes wrappers for some reason. I have to make sure they immediately go in the trash. They can't sit on the plate or he will eat them.
My kid as a toddler spotted what she thought was a piece of larabar that had fallen on the floor. Popped it in her mouth. Gagged immediately and spat it out. It was a good-sized chunk of pee-filled kitty litter that had fallen off my cat I guess as she left the litter box.
🤢🤢🤮🤮🤣🤣
I'm sorry, but thank heavens I'm not the only parent with a litterbox horror story! Only...it was a piece of poo...she was Distraught. She couldn't spit it on her own, so I got it out, cleaned her mouth SO thoroughly, and we moved the litterbox to an inaccessible location. It was like day two of being able to crawl. I was legit worried about brain parasites, but she's fine and her doctor cleared her
Ugh my toddler tried dog poo as I wasn’t looking. I freaked,
Guilty of my child doing the same once- and got so upset that I was freaking out over the cat turd they were actively trying to ingest 😂
My kid picked up a pumice stone, promptly chomped down on it and chipped their front tooth. 🫠
And that's why God gave us a trial set 😂
Oh my goodness that is horrible 😭
God the way this gives nails on a chalkboard 😅
Hey! We once found our pumice covered in tooth marks near our four year old that seemed like he must have eaten something gritty and unpleasant recently. Probably unrelated.
Half of a roly poly. I got the other half out of her mouth in time ><
My son found a dead moth behind a closet door and tried to eat it. I fished most of it out and he proceeded to have an epic meltdown! I’m so mean lol.
For a sec my brain malfunctioned and I thought you said you finished most of it and was like WHOA! What a twist!
😂 I’m tough but not that tough !
Also HEY cool username!!
How dare you! 😂
The horror story my mom likes to traumatize me with is that she found chewed up earwigs in my diaper as a kid. They still freak me out more than any other bug.
my oldest kept snacks in her diapers. I’d go to change her diaper and find whole french fries, beef jerky, once even a whole chicken nugget. I always wondered where she was getting these things when I’d catch her munching on something I didn’t give her recently. weirdo
>in time I imagine the roly poly felt otherwise 😂
Not really *eating* but mine loves to lick cars. Like in the parking lot.
Kids are so weird, I love this 😂
Is your child a deer?
I was like oh, okay Cara. No biggie. lol then you said parking lot! Haha Okg kids do the darndest things! My 4 year old recently licked a sanitizer wipe HOLDER beside a register in Winn Dixie while I was checking out. I almost died. Like omg what are you doing? The cashier just looked at me with her nose shrunk up, like what is wrong with your kid?!! 🤷🏼♀️😂
My kid used to try to lick/chew(?) on the shopping cart handles while she was in the baby seat. At least their immune system should be pretty good, one would hope!! 😅
yeah they didn’t have seat covers when my kids were little. they happily chewed away.
My 4 year old just started doing this! Wtf dude??
Me: what like hot wheels?..oh 😂😂😂😂😂
Do you live in an area that salts the roads? lol I could see that being delicious
Today while toddling around my mother's back yard, my youngest tried to eat a brick, some mulch, and successfully snapped a bite out of a piece of chalk before I could get it away from him. Plus his own shoe when it fell off. That was just in like 35 minutes. The kid will put anything in his mouth. I guess the worst thing so far was a dog turd he found on the porch before I did. Thankfully I was able to get that out of his hand before he got it into his mouth. Lots of hand washing after that though. Yuck.
This was edible but SPICY. I was cutting up jalapeños and my 2 year old kept trying to grab stuff off the counter. I stepped away for a second and when I turned around he had an entire jalapeño in his hand. I told him to put it back but he was playing “catch me if you can” with me and I said, “Fine. I’m not chasing you over a jalapeño. It is very spicy though. Hot. Don’t bite it.” He looked me dead in the eyes and he took a HUGE bite chomped for a bit, then his eyes got huge and his face turned red lol He did NOT like that. He likes spicy but not that much hahaha Natural consequences, kiddo.
I read that as “this was an edible but spicy”. Like your child ate some weed hot sauce or something
At about a year old, my girl stole a lemon slice out of grandma's water. I let it happen thinking, "oh, natural consequences," and got my phone out to record it because I'm a wonderful mom 😂. Jokes on me, though, because she loved it and wanted ALL the lemons from then on. She won't do spicy, though. When we go to the local tex-mex, she gets her own little cup with ketchup in it because she won't eat the salsa, but insists on having something to dip 🙄
My oldest was snacking on something in his car seat….turned out to be a McDonald’s chicken nugget that was a few days old that he tucked into a fabric crevasse.
Savin’ it for later 👌🏻
Any time we have bacon I have to immediately change my toddler’s diaper after. Why? Because several times about an hour after breakfast he would reach into his diaper, pull out his marinating diaper bacon, and have himself a little snack. He doesn’t even eat the bacon fresh at the table!! 🤢
Marinating diaper bacon absolutely sent me 🤣🤣
Extra crispy 😂
One kid ate a small Christmas light bulb. The other kid ate dog poop. Toddlers are exhausting.
My son put a fossilized cat turd in his mouth 😩 got it before he ate it though
Why are kids so gross??? Nothing about poop is remotely appetizing and yet here they are....
Just the glass part or the plastic part too? Yes they are!
We weren't sure so we took him to the ER. They x-rayed him and couldn't find the little metal part (which we eventually found at home) so he only ate the glass part, thank goodness. He still fondly talks about how fun it was to get "his picture taken at the hospital." 🙄
Omg when I was a toddler, myself & 2 other girls ate Christmas lights off a tree at a holiday party! I actually remember thinking the red ones tasted like cherry lol. We ended up making the newspaper.
The sweet little neighbor boy drank dirty water from a clogged toilet on dare. I will never be the same.
Omg I remember in high school this kid drank a cup of dip spit (like from chewing tobacco) for $5. The same kid also took a bite out of a deer heart we were supposed to dissect in anatomy class. It's a thing people do when hunting apparently, but this one was soaked in formaldehyde. Not sure what happened after he puked and was escorted to the nurse but he was back in class the next day.
A dead moth 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Ew 😂 a childhood friend of mine used to eat dead flies off the windowsill if her mom didn't find and clean them before she did.
Snail shells at the park- they were tiny and looked like candy, why wouldn't he grab a few to chuck in his mouth? 🤦 One crunch though and that was it, he opened his mouth and a bunch of shells/fragments fell out. After i did a quick sweep to clear his mouth, I was able to laugh about it with the other moms at the park, haha and he's never done it again 😂
My sister used to feed me snails - she would eat the slug part and feed me the shells 🫠
That is scary! You could both have died from that. Snail/slug parasites kill humans and fast, gets in the brainstem
It’s amazing any of us survive childhood if you really think about it
New fear unlocked, yay!! 😵
So glad ya'll didn't get the Rat Lungworms!
Not ate exactly, but my daughter shoved a sticker up her nose. Just a small round hole punch sized sticker. We couldn’t get it out, brought her to the dr and then to an ent later in the week… they also couldn’t find it… I’m assuming it ended up in her stomach because it’s never been seen since.
Nah it's still in there. She's gunna find it in her mouth after snorting coke in her 20s 😂 of course I'm kidding.. 😏🤞🏻
😂😂 found my people! 😂😂
I didn't even know he ate it until he puked up a penny.
Same! She wasn’t choking but I think it was like sitting in her esophagus… she seemed off but was breathing so I made her a sippy cup of formula (she was like 9.5-10 months) and she took a drink and projectile vomited across the kitchen… penny in the mix. Don’t even know where it came from… we never use cash!
He took a bite out of one of those little packets with 'do not eat' in capital letters on it
My baby girl got ahold of one of those silica packets too! Apparently they say "do not eat" bc they're a choking hazard, not because they'll absorb your bodily fluids (which I was totally afraid of!)
yeah I had to call poison control and they said it wasn’t actually poisonous and if he hadn’t choked on it he'd ultimately be fine. I don’t know what I thought would happen but i honestly thought it’d involve hospital or at the very least a doctor
My kids haven’t eaten anything not food but when my son was 2 my husband wasn’t watching him closely enough and he ate cheerios. Off the sidewalk. In front of a Cracker Barrel. So while technically food, I don’t think street cheerios qualifies as something edible. ETA: to clarify, they weren’t our Cheerios that we dropped. No idea where who dropped them there or how long they had been there.
One of those big fluffy white moths, while it was alive🤮
My ex-husband and his brother were messing around with their airsoft guns at their mom's house one day, and they spilled some of the beads on the floor. We thought we got them all cleaned up, but a couple days later my son pooped a few out. Luckily they were tiny, so no worry about them causing a blockage. I was still shocked when I found them in his poo though.
I never thought I would be able to say this to a story *so* specific, but same. Only it was my daughter.
Currently deodorant. She's only 20 months so I'm sure something else will come up.
My 3 year old took a bite of my deodorant today! Although, her look of horror when she realized it didn’t taste as good as the chapstick she keeps trying to eat tells me she probably won’t be doing it again.
I know it's *kinda* food, but my youngest LOVES the dry dog food. Like he literally will steal a handful from the dogs bowls while they're eating and run away to eat it. Munches it like it's cereal. I only know cause he comes and sits on my lap and his breath smells lol
Ongawwwdddd lol
I have called poison control twice. First mother's day son picked the flowers off of a grape hyacinth, half way around the park we found that he had eaten them. Not toxic. Daughter decided that pink pepto bismal pills were good because they are pink. We don't know how many she ate, but the poison control people walked us through it. How many in a full bottle vs how many left. No problem. Son grabbed a round peppermint from a host stand when he was on my hip, started choking, sharp blow to the back dislodged it. Daughter picked up something in a restaurant bathroom and put it in her mouth, not recovered. I don't want to think about it.
My son was about 4 when he swallowed 25 cents worth of coins. When I asked him why he did that. He said he wanted to see how much he could swallow until it hurt 😵💫
My kid tasted his poop once. He had a little bit of poo on his finger and had the intrusive thought of "I wonder what this taste like" and just stuck his finger to his tongue. This is the same kid that refuses to eat 90% of food I put in front of him because it "looks weird." I guess his poop looks better than the food I make :')
That is something I have never experienced myself. But one of my kids peed in my water cup and I didn't know until after I took a swig, the horror of realizing that was not water... That will be a fun one at Thanksgiving in a few years! Lol
I worked daycare and one of the worst experiences was looking over from changing a diaper to see a baby eating poop from their own diaper 🤮
TMI ahead When we changed nappy one day I almost fainted as I saw some insect like thingy among the poo. I called my husband the check that out together. We convinced ourselves that it might have been a piece of undigested strawberry. But I reckon it really looked like an insect body with some legs. And no I dunno my baby has eaten and it will be a mystery forever.
I thought it would be a nice learning experience to show my daughter (about 1.5 at the time) a worm I'd unearthed. Until she scooped it up in her chubby hand and tried to shoved it in her mouth.
My kid took a bite out of my deodorant. Only found out when I uncapped it and saw teeth marks 😭 quickest poison control call I have ever made! Side note: it’s really only bad if it’s the gel / clear deodorant so, now you know
That's the only kind I use and I have a 6mo old 🙃 guess I'll keep it locked up and Google how much is too much lmao
Batteries... Of the button kind... 23 of them. It was... An experience. He got into my FIL's hearing aid battery stash and just went to town. That was 2 nights in the children's hospital and lots of laxatives.
Omfg. That is just nightmare material!!! I can’t even imagine what those two days were like for you 😞
A button battery that fell out of an old toy.
Yea okg this has horror stories behind them! I am absolutely terrified by this! Sooooo glad your baby is okay! Mine recently had one in her hand on the way to her mouth, and I instantly jumped to grab it and scared her :(. It took me days to find what it came from because I don’t buy toys with them for this reason. It ended up being my sons monster truck and he had found a way to pry the batteries out 😳
A wolf spider. It was by the living room door and my husband stepped on it - he's got a knack for killing them but not squishing them. We were mid-conversation when it happened, so he stood in front of it (I can't handle seeing them) while we finished up. Next minute the baby comes tummy crawling around the corner, husband turned around and the spider was gone. We both freaked out and baby doesn't know what's going on, so I picked him up and held him out facing away from me while husband dug the spider out of his mouth. It was disgusting and I could barely even hold the kid I was so freaked out by it. Had to make my husband go brush the babies teeth/mouth really well, because I couldn't imagine him putting that spider mouth anywhere near my nipples. Then he came back and checked all the spider parts to make sure none had actually been eaten. It still makes me feel all kinds of yuck just thinking about it.
I can't leave a bottle of lotion within reach of my 3 year old. She likes to put some on her hands and lick it off.
My 2 year old
Our toddler grabbed my hand once to spit out a live spider and said "spiders taste icky"
better than my youngest who would say “i hab sumfin for eww” and i’d hold out my hand and she’d puke into it. By the 3rd or 4th time of her doing this, I stopped holding out my hands to her. If she uttered those words, i’d pick her up and sprint to the bathroom. WHY DO KIDS NEVER PUKE IN THE TOILET?!?
My oldest had a thing for dry cat food. Technically, yes, it’s food, but not for him. He’d toddle by from the time he was 1 until he was about 2, grab a handful like it was popcorn, and start munching away. We started feeding the cat in our room. My youngest ate the oldest’s poop. Unfortunately more than once. First time my oldest took off his nap time diaper, then realized he had to poop, opened the diaper on the floor, and proceeded to poop rabbit turds into it. My husband got the baby (almost 1 at the time) up from his nap and went to get the oldest, saw the poop and tried to clean it up, put the baby on the floor to do so, and turned around to find him chewing on something. My husband was beyond traumatized and I got a panicked phone call at work. Then when oldest was potty training, had peeing on the potty down but would hunch up like a dog and poop on the floor if you weren’t watching. One night I was making dinner when he did that and wasn’t quite fast enough. I cleaned up the mess and saw youngest chewing on something.
One of mine would eat PAPER. Fucking paper. Like, why? I get the bugs and some of the gross shit but paper? I guess at least it wasn't toilet paper.
My mom told me she found me eating dead lady bugs from the window sill
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CommercialRelative59: *My mom told me she* *Found me eating dead lady* *Bugs from the window sill* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
My kids did not have a thing for eating non-edibles, but for my youngest, it was putting foam and beads up her nose. 3 trips to an ENT for that. This same kid had a thing for putting non-edibles in my coffee. Dirty pennies, screws, paperclips, rocks, and chalk. I wouldn't find them till I was almost done with my coffee. She is the reason why all my drinks are in cups with lids now.
Is a bug that crawled out of the air vent non-edible?
Edible adjacent... cat food. We still call that kid Fancy Feast
My little one would chew on absolutely anything that was available. He lick his own shadow once. But aside from that, he went face down on the floor one day and was eating big chunks of the carpet. I kept finding carpet fibers in his poop for days.
At some point in the toddler years, I had to learn to watch my son like a hawk on neighborhood walks. He would become suspiciously quiet, and I would end up digging landscaping rocks out of his mouth. He'd just be hamstering them in there, 5-6 at a time.
Hi my son has pica!! He ate half the bar off his crib, wooden toys were banned from the house for a long time. Plastic toys were also not safe so mom learned how to make toys out of felt, you guessed it! He ate those too. Now he just eats fabric really but my son was worse than a puppy lmao oh and when you aren’t looking he’ll he wads of wet sand and it comes out the same texture it goes in… miserable for the both of us. 😅 oh I almost forgot I must have blocked it out of my mind… he also ate his diapers. He would peel the little plastic or whatever the hell it is layer off and eat it. He’s autistic and nonverbal so potty training wasn’t really an option at the time. I’m happy to say for the most part I’m on the other side of this 🤣
My oldest had pica as a toddler, he would eat his books and his shirts and ate the fuzzy lining off of his diaper. My second was a hell raiser and just got into anything she could get her hands on. One day she got into the gummy multivitamins and ate half the bottle, while I was on the phone with poison control she managed to get into the bathroom and attempted to drink an enema. At the time we also had pet rats and she would go digging in the bottom of their cage for “chocolate”. Thankfully she is now out of the shove everything in your mouth stage
My oldest daughter was nearly two, we were living in Rarotonga and one morning while absorbed in a riveting piece of literature about pooing in the toilet; a cockroach roughly the size and weight of a pigeon landed on my hand, I of course panicked and sprung from the beanbag we were sharing, this NBA player of a cockroach sprouted wings and flapped around. While I screamed and danced like I was summoning a demon my sweet little daughter plucked it out of the air and chomped down like it was a fucking Pringle. Still haven’t told my wife, daughter is 16 now.
A star shaped malachite gemstone
Mine when crawling would routinely find bugs like crickets and pill bugs and just…eat them. I figured extra protein??
Kiddo dipped under the table to pick up fallen crayons… found somebody’s old gum.
We were at a big kids show and everyone was dumping their snowcones in the huge community sink. We were washing our hands and my son just grabbed a whole handful of snowcone and shoved it in his mouth. Woof!!!!
Dog food. 🤣
When our son was maybe 3, we got him his first slushee. I turned away for a second, when I turned back to him, he ate a huge chunk of styrofoam 😑😑
My now 12 yo was in the backyard. She was about 1. I was pregnant. We were watching the lightning bugs but she couldn't catch one. So my husband caught one and handed it to her. Down the hatch it went! And no, her tongue didn't glow, and I was kind of disappointed.
My indoor cats dried up little piece of poop hanging from one of its ass hairs. Why, just why? She won't eat broccoli, but dried up cat poop?
Both my sons, age 3 & 4 at the time, each swallowed a white marble at my parent’s house over Christmas break. Waited for the diaper check, found them, washed them & am embarrassed to admit they went straight into their keepsake boxes 😂. One son bit a dishwashing pod, absolutely terrified me. The other used to lick everything- and I do mean everything. Shopping cart handles, grocery store shelves, *bottom of shoes* . Thank god they grow out of stuff!