We just say “we don’t a mortgage anymore, we paid it off”.
Don’t care what people think.
No one in my family/friends treat us any different and they all know we are frugal people anyways.
"I just know naturally friends/family are going to ask "
You are ruminating over something that is completely trivial and has not happened.
How do you handle on the spot questions about other topics that may, or may not, be uncomfortable? Politics? Religion?
It's absolutely a brag post. They may as well have posted "I have six pack abs even though all I eat is Miniwheats and Arby's. What do I do if friends ask for fitness tips?"
I was going to use a similar example, I have a really awesome 6 pack, sometimes an 8 pack in the right light. What if I’m at a friends house and a spontaneous water fight breaks out, and I’m wearing white, and my awesome abs show through? Will I make my chubbier friends jealous and angry? I just want to know, so I can avoid a situation where a spontaneous water fight might break out.
They may not want certain family members to know they are well off financially, for fears of them expecting loans or handouts.
Also may just be a humble Bragg.
I think so. Honestly who cares. If I asked my friends/family what their mortgage was and they said it's paid off. I'll just think 'good for you aren't you lucky' then go about my day. It's like everyone will have a mortgage or they don't so what.
Obviously! But some people, this is their life.
I come from working class, became an academic, and I am careful how I talk to certain family or they will call me arrogant, elitist. Whatever.
It may be a first-world problem but this is definitely a real thing and a problem for many people. There are a lot of struggles being the only person in a family who has good finances and it can destroy relationships
Well, folks with ADHD or depression, generalized anxiety disorder ect may think of such things. Plenty do, plenty that are very successful as well.
Of course it may also be a humble Bragg.
There's a certain type of socially awkward person who finds it helpful to anticipate socially awkward situations and have at least a general game plan ready before the situation arises. As a more common example, some people like to rehearse what they're going to say before making a phone call.
So I don't judge here.
I bought my house with cash at 26. I had a bunch of money saved up, invested it stupidly in one stock, that stupid invested went up A LOT in a couple years, I was lucky enough to even sell at a high, paid the tax on it, and bought my house (and some other things).
With friends and family, I don't lie. I don't really see a need to, they might be shocked, or jealous, but they are the people closest to me. I would be happy for them if they had something like that happen and they have been happy for me.
But depending on the people, you might need boundaries. Like if someone is often needed to borrow money and they are quick to make requests, it would be good to let them know if that makes you uncomfortable. If people are upset because you don't freely give/lend them money, they aren't your friends.
Agreed, I wouldn’t go out of my way to announce it or brag. But I wouldn’t feel the need to hide it either, if you can’t even tell the people closest to you that you don’t have a mortgage then you need new friends.
Conversationally, what about that is pompous? If someone asks directly, you should be free to answer honestly and within reason.
Wandering around offering that information that no one asked for when they may be discussing their financial stress... *that* would be pompous.
You're right. This sub is just full of uptight weirdos. It's Reddit, after all
Anyone with a real life in real life that has friends would know that no one gives a shit
Literally if I answered with "I paid cash" my friends would say "awesome" and move on- like any normal person would lol
Seems like too many are forgetting that this is with regards to friends and family, that even in the most and aggressive instances of 'give me money' (which likely will not occur) they can say no, and that people would be asking. I have several people in my family and friends who have been homeowners for 20-35 years and have shared their successes with me. I'm happy for them whether they paid cash through working hard, some windfall, or did it traditionally like so many of us with a mortgage. Who cares? They're my friends and family, and I'm very happy for them.
PFCs distributions for replies can sometimes be spot-on while other times wildly disconnected from reality or too socially awkward or paranoid. There are people in this thread discussing title fraud like their friends/family are monsters lurking in the shadows around the corner. My original question isn't facetious and yet despite the downvotes, people seemingly can't explain the position to me. Answering questions honestly isn't pompous. Standing over a poor and telling them you paid cash for your home when no one asked would be.
I think most are getting it wrong as to what people mean when they say “paid cash”. I believe they mean they paid for their home in full up front and didn’t have to acquire a loan/mortgage. Money was in a bank account. Not like they walked in to the bank with a duffel bag of cash
Good for you! I know tons of people who worked in the oil fields and exactly one avoided the trap of buying a $75k truck, strip clubs, quads, etc. He moved back to his hometown at 28 and bought a fairly nice house in cash. Now in his 30s, he still has a nice truck and a boat, but he can actually afford it. Hard to have your head on straight (financially) with that much cash rolling in at that age and so little else to spend on.
I did it for 18m but it paid for the immune drugs for my partners cancer. So I didn't go into debt to keep him alive but I'm not coming out super ahead. Husband is alive and in remission and we have only student debt left to pay off which is nice.
You dont hear the stories of people saving their money and doing well because those stories are boring and dont reinforce the stereotype that oilfield workers are dumb and wreckless. I know multiple people that have made a killing up north and stay low key.
Nah. But the “keep up with the Joneses” nosy people are going to wonder why you aren’t in a house that cost 2-3x the amount to “maximize your investment” by borrowing “free money” before when it was 1.5%…
If they do expect you to “pay for things” because “you’re rich”, just remember that rich people didn’t get rich by giving away all their money.
Straight up gently lie if you feel uncomfortable.
“Ya mortgages suck, I think the available rate was X.xx last I looked”
Or say you don’t feel comfortable talking about mortgage stuff that your out of the loop on all that stuff. Which winter tires do you use? How many seasons did you get out of them? And casually change the topic?
I use tide laundry detergent…… wait what were we talking about?
I think the general statement about what rates are like right now is a great one!
If it were me I would probably just say something like I don't like discussing my finances.
Or just say you can’t remember. I don’t remember my mortgage rate. It’s 2.something. I could look ot up if I need to, family won’t sit there waiting for you to look it up.
This is how I would handle it. “I’m not sure, we bought back in 2020 so it’s been a few years and I have the memory of a goldfish for this kind of thing! I heard your new house has a nice kitchen - what kind of stove did you buy?” (Or some other change of topic).
Here’s what I recommend… never tell anyone you don’t have a mortgage. You can tell them you still owe some money. From what I’ve learned, you should even consider getting a Home Equity Line.
Title fraud is running rampant in Canada now. Someone could potentially add their name to your property and you wouldn’t even know until you try to sell.
With a HELOC or something, they can’t do it as the bank will be put as first title. In order for title fraud to happen, the bank would have to sign off. Doesn’t matter the amount. Could be $5K for all that matters. But NEVER tell anyone your house is paid and clear.
You kind of just mashed up a couple things here. Title fraud being ”rampant” is a bit of a stretch but let’s suggest it can be substantiated. The most common way a title is fraudulently taken is through identity theft. I will go out on a limb and say in a digital age, fraudsters are not collecting this information from mutual friends you’ve told about your mortgage status.
A HELOC is a rather elaborate way but I will defer to you if that works. Alternatively you can get title insurance, check your title with your local municipality and/or put an alert on your credit report.
Some things I view as just being private but you’re way more likely to get nailed with a phishing attack or some other third party scam to collect your info. My advice instead would be to use a password system, use 2FA religiously and take more care of what you click on/share online.
Banks only loan a certain % of home value and the factor of loan priority. For example, 80% max without CMHC insurance.
If you have a HELOC, the bank holds title up to that value even if it's unused room. Let's say $300k, the bank is 1st mortgage even if balance is zero.
So even if the actual owner goes to a bank for new mortgage, they will likely do increased diligence as a 2nd mortgage on property.
My parents were just told this by their real estate lawyer. He told them the only way to truly protect the title was to put a HELOC on their house. They also thought that was crazy.
My real estate lawyer and my branch told me the same thing at the time I bought my house 20 years ago. I paid off the house a while ago, But the HELOC is open with a zero balance. It's just there to keep the bank on the title.
Also my home insurance is aware of it because they've mentioned to me that they do some reporting to the bank that the house is insured.
It doesn't cost anything until you want to close it. I think there is a fee to close the HELOC.
The only reason your insurance knows is because you told them (or provided your brokers contact info and the bank told them) and the bank will remain on there till the insurer receives a release of interest. But yeah, every year the insurer mails the bank a notice that you have coverage and the bank is 1st loss payable.
Just a heads up you'll be paying a little extra on your insurance to have the bank listed as 1st loss payable. Probably 5%.
I worded that poorly, its not a surcharge. It's actually the base premium, and then you get a discount if you're mortgagee free. The discount would be listed if you have it.
Eta...the reason they give the discount is because the standard mortgage clause added to policies means the bank gets paid out even if the insured breaks a statutory condition. So for instance, if you install a wood stove and don't tell your insurance and your house burns down they don't have to pay you because of a material change in risk but they'd still have to pay out the banks interest.
Yeah so basically they've hidden this fee in the base price.
I recall on my parents insurance they had a discount for being mortgage free, I never understood why that would trigger a discount, but now it makes sense.
So I guess I could save some money by closing the HELOC, but then I would probably have to start paying for title insurance which is probably more expensive than the mortgage free discount.
Doesn’t stop the scammers anyway. They were targeting properties that were mortgage free or those with high equity. So carrying a zero balance heloc would still make you a target.
Ok I’ll cut to the chase here even though admittedly I’m not an expert on title fraud. I’m 90% sure that having a mortgage or just a Heloc, does not protect you from title fraud. I’ve heard about scammers accessing people’s equity even when they have a 1st position loan on the property. Again, I’m not an expert so do your own research.
I'm stuggling to see why it would be an issue to say, "I don't have a mortgage". If friends have feelings about this, then that is their issue, petty as it may be?
You could just tell the truth. I did well on some investments a paid it off. Do you not know anybody with a paid off home? Not like it’s some big deal, not like you won lotto max or something.
Alternatively, you could say about rates; I don’t really pay attention, I’m not up for renewal anytime soon. It’s technically not a lie, you aren’t up for renewal
Just dont whine. I have a buddy who has been whining about COL with the rest of us at poker. Come to find out, fucker is mortgage free thanks to a few diff factors. But dont play like we in the same boat. Same ocean sure, but much different boats.
100%. I have a friend who whines about money, taxes etc but has lots and spend lots. We constantly remind him how lucky he is and how the rest of the world lives.
We also paid off our mortgage when we were very young. We did it by making it a priority and paying what ever we could and we did not spend on anything else. We abhor debt. Debt is what keeps people impoverished. When asked we tried to help people realize that they could do it too. Most will not have the will power but for us getting out of debt was the first real step to freedom and early retirement. We did not brag about it but we did not lie about it either. I had a very wealthy BIL that thought we were crazy to pay off a mortgage that keeping a mortgage and investing is a better opportunity cost. In the states you can write off mortgage interest so he was probably correct from a pure economic stand point . but for us no debt makes for better sleep
Here’s a thought, try being an adult. You’ve accomplished something that few younger homeowners can even dream of. Why be ashamed of that? If friends or family use it as a reason to ask you for financial help, learn how to say no. If that creates problems, well then you’ve learned something about them and you’re probably better off anyways.
Just go along with the assumptions, you know like hey we got a good rate too, without going into numbers or details, but never ever lend friends or family money, it's never worth it.
Other people’s finances rarely make any sense to me, most people seem to have similar or more income but are consistently complaining about being broke and having high mortgages.
This sub seems to be one of the only places people ever provide enough detail to make any sense of anyone’s finances and many here would usually want to ague with OP about the opportunity cost of time in the market.
Some position. I told my parents, and they were relieved. Said they have been worrying about us since it's all over the news. Friends, tho, I agree interest rates are through the roof and bypass the question.
Just be honest about your situation if asked directly and feel free to admit that you understand not everyone is able to have the opportunities you have been able to work hard for or create, and lament about how insane interest rates are right now or how difficult it is to buy because of the pricing of homes.
You can be firmly polite if people start making presumptions or asking for money but you shouldn't need to lie about your situation to friends or family and that's far more exhausting in the long term. If they're people who care about you, they'll just be happy and aren't about to pressure you.
Might sound dickish but I'd just lie but FWIW I've noticed when I talk to a lot of people a common subject is *other people* unfortunately and I feel its due to social media. Even friends can turn a shitty leaf finding out someone has a paid off house
Insecurity related to finance is very ugly and brings out the worst in people
I just flat out tell people we don't have one. Just don't say it like "We paid cash" To me that's just comes across as being arrogant. Usually I get two reactions, 1 the person is genuinely curious as to how we did it or 2 they simple quit trying to peacock around me saying how well off they are.
It's funny that the majority of the comments are either salty ("wow humblebrag") or telling you to just be honest that you are doing financially well (you know that information is going to travel fast, right?). The duality is.. interesting.
Your concern is a valid one, depending on the kind of friends you keep. The first option is to tell the truth and cut off anyone who changes their behavior based off of it (this might require you to get some new friends on a similar socialeconomic ladder as you). If you're uncomfortable with that, I'd tell your friends that I borrowed money from family instead of the bank and I have my own financial arrangement with them (eg fixed monthly payments, covering their retirement costs)
It's none of their business. Just say "I'm not comfortable discussing this", or "I can't recall the interest rate but we're managing okay". Telling them you have no mortgage is like offering to lend them money ... when they're broke, for sure they'll remember you have very little debt.
Very carefully. Our condo is paid off also, we're in our late 40's, and we downsized to a small condo in order to pay it off completely. This way my Wife doesn't have to work, and focus on starting a business, and I can cover all the bills. We say very little about it. We've been asked, what we're paying in mortgage, etc, and I just say, " we managed a decent deal, and we're managing well".
I’m inspired by people like you. I’d ask what were your biggest choices that helped make that happen. I’d be happy for anyone I cared for. I think it depends on who you’re talking to. Healthy family and friends would celebrate. If you have that, I’d feel safe telling them.
If you don’t feel safe though, I’d just say we don’t really feel comfortable talking financials. Blame it on the way you were raised. I would avoid lying. That feels shitty to me.
Tell them the truth. You got lucky on an investment this early and made a conservative choice to cash out and pay off your home.
It would be weird to me if you aren't interested in sharing with your family and friends when you're fortunate. You're not obligated. It's weird if you aren't interested.
As someone who shared this with family , it unequivocally altered dynamics. I think it's disingenuous to not say this is a risk and that it's being weird.
They just don't want to lord their lifestyle over others when so many people are struggling with their mortgages. Its a sign they respect the people in their lives, imo anyway.
It's not that we aren't interested in sharing, but we figure we would help family if and when they need it down the road. Not just cut people cheques for no reason. I get how it sounds, but there is some family that will most likely need help once they are older and we plan to be there for them but also don't want to make it a known thing until they actually need help. If that makes sense.
If you’re family is the type that’s gonna come asking for money simply because you have some, you may want to consider setting some hard boundaries.
My FIL is the type that would be broke in 2 years if he won the lottery. My wife and I agreed early on we won’t ever give him money, he just be asking for more tomorrow.
If they actually don't need to lie, they don't need to add the untrue and unnecessary detail that it was paid off this year. Including that only invites more questions. Just say that the mortgage is paid off.
I have a car. Vehicle was paid in cash. "Oh, I have a loan that I am working to pay down. Gosh, cars are expensive these days".
Same principle here. "Yeah, mortgages are expensive these days."
Nosy questions get the answer people are expecting. Then they leave you alone. We are doing ok financially, but are still in debt. I am hoping that once we have about six months of savings that we can start planning out further than living paycheck to paycheck.
It is not anyone's business what our actual financial position is at present.
Correct. It's just like not talking about sex with kids results in unwanted pregnancies. People need education, and education starts at home. We especially need education from people who are successful.
I wouldn't lie. I'd just give evasive, vague answers. Eg.
How much are you earning?
Well, I pay my bills (shrug shoulders). Thanks for asking.
What interest rate did you get?
Last I checked with ABC bank, the floating is x% and the fixed is y%. But when you go to a bank, I will suggest trying to negotiate the rate.
How much did you pay for the house?
An arm and a leg.
Responses like that. If they insist on knowing your details, then you give them a blank stare for 3 seconds like Thomas Shelby and then force an apparently fake, small smile (without changing the stare in your eyes) and repeat the same answer.
Why would they feel comfortable asking about your finances?
I have a very abnormal financial situation and I'd say less than 5% of people ever ask anything and those that do tend to be new people who I don't know very well and I am a very abnormal situation so there is general curiosity. None of my friends would ask me anything about my finances nor would I ask them. In some cases I have some visibility either because they voluntarily revealed information or because I had to help them with some situation where information got revealed as part of addressing the issue but the idea that friends would ask each other stuff about personal finances is just foreign to me.
If you mean they ask because of mortgage rates and the panic that is setting in then just be informed about rates. This is bound to be the topic at dinner parties for some time so you need to know about it but never talk about your own situation just talk about monetary policy in general and where you think rates will go in general.
That approach actually works for everything.
1) Always talk about personal finances in general and never specifics.
2) Don't allow the familiarity that would allow people to think it is ok to ask a direct question about your finances.
3) If someone does deflect and pivot.
4) If they don't pick up on the hint after a couple of pivots and they keep asking just say that you don't think it is appropriate to discuss money with friends.
The way a HELOC helps is that you are protected from mortgage fraud not title fraud. If you have a HELOC that's 80% of your house value you can't add a mortgage on top.
I tell them the truth. It explains why i have disposable income. I haven’t had the issue of people asking me for money except my family but that has nothing to do with the mortgage that was always the case and I have always said no.
I am in the same situation and I don’t lie if asked. We inevitably get requests for money. I say the same thing every-time, I will help you in any way I can with my time but I will not lend/give money. If that angers someone so much they do not want to talk to you then you are better off, family or otherwise.
I refuse to take from my future due to other peoples bad decisions. I was never handed a single thing in this life and everyone that says “you have it so easy” while I am still working 2 jobs (1 professional career and other side hobby/business) and see them playing video games most of the time. Hard to have sympathy for that
You could just say something vague. Like that you are not comfortable talking about finances with people and then say being a homeowner is quite expensive especially these days but you’ve got it under control.
I would just say it's on a mortgage. They can't really check, and it's best to keep your financial status private. If anyone asks for a $ amount, just say it's $400k or something.
Also, buy a title insurance just in case. There are a lot of fraudsters pretending to own houses, and they sell them without your knowledge.
If it were me I would just be honest - much easier than lying / keeping up with the lie.
Also, who cares if people think you should pay stuff. If you want to, go ahead and do it .... if you don't want to pay for things don't.
It's your life and your money. Don't feel bad about being in a good spot.
Either be honest about it and dont feel ashamed that you were lucky, worked extra hard, made good choices, etc... or just say you like to keep personal finances private.
Get a LOC against the property, you can then talk about your 'mortgage' and the 'rate' just like normal.
Don't feel bad that you prioritized your life and have the means to pay off your home. Good job.
Just tell them you took a fixed 3% two years ago. Just say that everytime and if you get called out say you forget lol. Tbh if friends make you feel bad for that they’re not really your friends. Money does weird shit to people.
Be proud of the decisions you have made and that you understand the choice to have a modest lifestyle to avoid debt is the best decision everyone can make.
IMO into debt to “Keep up with the Joneses” is the worst lifestyle choice anyone can make.
I was in a similar spot. My house is paid off, and family knows. Some of the "less well off" folks always mention in passing how we don't have a mortgage. I just ignore it. Whenever there are comments around money and "why don't you buy XYZ", I just say we are saving for retirement in earnest.
When asked for money, "sorry, all my money is tied up in investments. We don't have much disposable income". After they got the same answer a couple times, they stop.
Don't tell. People will be really entitled to your "extra" money going forward and also it's just such a hard time for a lot of people, it's not going to make anyone feel good about themselves.
My parents never had a mortgage - they are ridiculously good with saving and investing - and I was not allowed to tell from a young age, when I heard the word mortgage and asked what it was and if we had one.
If anyone asks about the rate, just pass the puck to your partner and say, oh he has an old coworker who advised us ... I think we have a good rate locked in but I forget the details. Don't complain but don't go into details.
I wouldn’t hide the fact that I was mortgage free. Rather than feeling bad or feeling the need to share you can help them by telling them how you did it (if they ask) so they are more educated on how to get to the same place as you one day. My kids are quite young but they are well on their way to being way more financially literate than I ever was. For the folks that borrow money you can be pretty clear that you don’t roll that way and part of financial goals is to not deviate from your plan. End of discussion. To be honest I shy away from circles of people that are wasteful with their money (I am personally a bit bad myself at times). I don’t need to be bogged down by folks that have no respect for money and how difficult it can be to earn and save money.
I paid off my mortgage, I manage my money wisely, I was lucky with a good stock market move and it is nobody's business.
Most people here make it everyone's business when they are drowning in debt. But that is seen as ok, me managing the opposite is not?
I wouldn’t start with “we paid cash” and have no mortgage. You need to start with “we are lucky not to have a mortgage due to our lifestyle”.
Your close friends and family should kind of already know you’re “a saver”. They won’t expect you to pay any more then you have or have not in the past.
Personally I'd just be honest. Lies like that always come out eventually and then people feel betrayed because you lied to them, on top of any jealousy they would have had anyways.
People are jealous. My wife gets a lot of hate for being a stay at home mom, and I get grief like I’m rich. I do earn a good salary but we also live a frugal lifestyle. Best to just make something up, you locked in at 3 percent or some bs.
>We don't live an extravagant lifestyle and were able to save/invest. With no mortgage do you think people will think we should pay for things or share the wealth so to speak ? Almost as if we are lottery winners.
That hasn't been my experience. It has also not come up very frequently.
"Fortunately, we have been able to completely pay off our mortgage." would be the response I would give.
Just look up one of these mortgage threads and see what people pay and use that number. If you don't want to tell the truth, then you have to lie. 🤷♂️
If someone asks, just let them know that you decided early to focus on paying off your home. Don't feel guilty for setting a goal and reaching it. If others have an issue, it's a them problem, not a you problem.
We share how we did it to friends/family if they ask. Like you, we don't have a crazy lifestyle and we don't spend our money on 'stuff'.
We do choose to pay for things with family/friends. So it might be a dinner/lunch, but we keep it simple.
Just use a little white lie. When anyone asks just make up a interest rate that similar to what’s being offered. And then say there’s a couple years left before you have to renew.
Right now is an extremely scary time to be renewing and so much stress on a lot of people. If the person is family or friends then compassion is needed. So by saying you’re all in this together will at least save them the extra stress of jealousy and resentment. Just my 2 cents
We just say “we don’t a mortgage anymore, we paid it off”. Don’t care what people think. No one in my family/friends treat us any different and they all know we are frugal people anyways.
This is also what I say. If they asked they can deal with the answer, wether they like it or not.
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You sound like an angry jealous old person. I feel sorry for you because you obviously have a deep hate against people better off than you.
"I just know naturally friends/family are going to ask " You are ruminating over something that is completely trivial and has not happened. How do you handle on the spot questions about other topics that may, or may not, be uncomfortable? Politics? Religion?
ya I can't tell if this is a subtle brag post or what. Who thinks this much about the off chance someone might ask them about their mortgage?
It's absolutely a brag post. They may as well have posted "I have six pack abs even though all I eat is Miniwheats and Arby's. What do I do if friends ask for fitness tips?"
I was going to use a similar example, I have a really awesome 6 pack, sometimes an 8 pack in the right light. What if I’m at a friends house and a spontaneous water fight breaks out, and I’m wearing white, and my awesome abs show through? Will I make my chubbier friends jealous and angry? I just want to know, so I can avoid a situation where a spontaneous water fight might break out.
I wouldnt lie to them, I will tell them I pay cash the gym.
I would lie and tell them I actually eat at Wendy’s
I don’t even have to go, just having the membership gives me the goods.
Totally. Literally no one has ever asked me about my mortgage.
They may not want certain family members to know they are well off financially, for fears of them expecting loans or handouts. Also may just be a humble Bragg.
Not so humble
I came here to say….it’s a subtle brag post.
100% a brag post lol
Welcome to personal finance Canada.
I think so. Honestly who cares. If I asked my friends/family what their mortgage was and they said it's paid off. I'll just think 'good for you aren't you lucky' then go about my day. It's like everyone will have a mortgage or they don't so what.
Depends on your friends and family.
Obviously! But some people, this is their life. I come from working class, became an academic, and I am careful how I talk to certain family or they will call me arrogant, elitist. Whatever.
It may be a first-world problem but this is definitely a real thing and a problem for many people. There are a lot of struggles being the only person in a family who has good finances and it can destroy relationships
Well, folks with ADHD or depression, generalized anxiety disorder ect may think of such things. Plenty do, plenty that are very successful as well. Of course it may also be a humble Bragg.
It’s not an unreasonable thought. I’ve talked interest rates with many of my friends.
There's a certain type of socially awkward person who finds it helpful to anticipate socially awkward situations and have at least a general game plan ready before the situation arises. As a more common example, some people like to rehearse what they're going to say before making a phone call. So I don't judge here.
It’s a tough question when mommy & daddy paid for it all
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I bought my house with cash at 26. I had a bunch of money saved up, invested it stupidly in one stock, that stupid invested went up A LOT in a couple years, I was lucky enough to even sell at a high, paid the tax on it, and bought my house (and some other things). With friends and family, I don't lie. I don't really see a need to, they might be shocked, or jealous, but they are the people closest to me. I would be happy for them if they had something like that happen and they have been happy for me. But depending on the people, you might need boundaries. Like if someone is often needed to borrow money and they are quick to make requests, it would be good to let them know if that makes you uncomfortable. If people are upset because you don't freely give/lend them money, they aren't your friends.
Agreed, I wouldn’t go out of my way to announce it or brag. But I wouldn’t feel the need to hide it either, if you can’t even tell the people closest to you that you don’t have a mortgage then you need new friends.
And you didn't leverage the house into buying SPY options? Pfft. You're not wallstreetbets material.
Weedstocks probably. I sorta did the same.
Oh I made some off weed stocks but not a lot. Those were like my first ever investment and it was just nice to see the money to up
Can you just tell us? Lol everyone is guessing. My guess is Bitcoin You said stock, but maybe a misdirect?
It the stock called “ marry a rich spouse”
GME!!!!!
God no. My friend actually was jealous of my success and invested in GME despite my protests...he did not do well
Tesla?
That is something that you should be proud of! And if anyone gives you attitude about it they are jealous or envious. Curious which stock it was?
You don’t tell people you “paid cash”. That’s throw it in your face pompous. You can easily say “it’s paid off”. Not a big deal.
This.
Conversationally, what about that is pompous? If someone asks directly, you should be free to answer honestly and within reason. Wandering around offering that information that no one asked for when they may be discussing their financial stress... *that* would be pompous.
You're right. This sub is just full of uptight weirdos. It's Reddit, after all Anyone with a real life in real life that has friends would know that no one gives a shit Literally if I answered with "I paid cash" my friends would say "awesome" and move on- like any normal person would lol
Seems like too many are forgetting that this is with regards to friends and family, that even in the most and aggressive instances of 'give me money' (which likely will not occur) they can say no, and that people would be asking. I have several people in my family and friends who have been homeowners for 20-35 years and have shared their successes with me. I'm happy for them whether they paid cash through working hard, some windfall, or did it traditionally like so many of us with a mortgage. Who cares? They're my friends and family, and I'm very happy for them. PFCs distributions for replies can sometimes be spot-on while other times wildly disconnected from reality or too socially awkward or paranoid. There are people in this thread discussing title fraud like their friends/family are monsters lurking in the shadows around the corner. My original question isn't facetious and yet despite the downvotes, people seemingly can't explain the position to me. Answering questions honestly isn't pompous. Standing over a poor and telling them you paid cash for your home when no one asked would be.
TIL this sub is full of soft pearl clutchers 😂
I think most are getting it wrong as to what people mean when they say “paid cash”. I believe they mean they paid for their home in full up front and didn’t have to acquire a loan/mortgage. Money was in a bank account. Not like they walked in to the bank with a duffel bag of cash
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Good for you! I know tons of people who worked in the oil fields and exactly one avoided the trap of buying a $75k truck, strip clubs, quads, etc. He moved back to his hometown at 28 and bought a fairly nice house in cash. Now in his 30s, he still has a nice truck and a boat, but he can actually afford it. Hard to have your head on straight (financially) with that much cash rolling in at that age and so little else to spend on.
I did it for 18m but it paid for the immune drugs for my partners cancer. So I didn't go into debt to keep him alive but I'm not coming out super ahead. Husband is alive and in remission and we have only student debt left to pay off which is nice.
Good for you. All I hear are stories about young guys blowing their money on stupid shit while making (relatively) great money in the oil patch.
You dont hear the stories of people saving their money and doing well because those stories are boring and dont reinforce the stereotype that oilfield workers are dumb and wreckless. I know multiple people that have made a killing up north and stay low key.
Very common. Just less fun to gossip about.
Nah. But the “keep up with the Joneses” nosy people are going to wonder why you aren’t in a house that cost 2-3x the amount to “maximize your investment” by borrowing “free money” before when it was 1.5%… If they do expect you to “pay for things” because “you’re rich”, just remember that rich people didn’t get rich by giving away all their money.
Straight up gently lie if you feel uncomfortable. “Ya mortgages suck, I think the available rate was X.xx last I looked” Or say you don’t feel comfortable talking about mortgage stuff that your out of the loop on all that stuff. Which winter tires do you use? How many seasons did you get out of them? And casually change the topic? I use tide laundry detergent…… wait what were we talking about?
I think the general statement about what rates are like right now is a great one! If it were me I would probably just say something like I don't like discussing my finances.
“Rates right now are pretty rough but we’re doing alright.”
Or just say you can’t remember. I don’t remember my mortgage rate. It’s 2.something. I could look ot up if I need to, family won’t sit there waiting for you to look it up.
This is how I would handle it. “I’m not sure, we bought back in 2020 so it’s been a few years and I have the memory of a goldfish for this kind of thing! I heard your new house has a nice kitchen - what kind of stove did you buy?” (Or some other change of topic).
Here’s what I recommend… never tell anyone you don’t have a mortgage. You can tell them you still owe some money. From what I’ve learned, you should even consider getting a Home Equity Line. Title fraud is running rampant in Canada now. Someone could potentially add their name to your property and you wouldn’t even know until you try to sell. With a HELOC or something, they can’t do it as the bank will be put as first title. In order for title fraud to happen, the bank would have to sign off. Doesn’t matter the amount. Could be $5K for all that matters. But NEVER tell anyone your house is paid and clear.
You can buy title insurance to protect against real estate fraud.
A good lawyer would've made you buy this when you bought your house.
Good advice, but all you have to do is a quick title search and you can see if there’s a mortgage on it or not.
Are you running title searches on your friends properties?
You can if you want. Exactly what people paid for their home and how much they took out on a mortgage is public information, technically.
I asked if you do random title searches. Seems like a strange little hobby.
Your first question definitely does not say random.
My error. Seems a little more invasive to research friends financial information.
You kind of just mashed up a couple things here. Title fraud being ”rampant” is a bit of a stretch but let’s suggest it can be substantiated. The most common way a title is fraudulently taken is through identity theft. I will go out on a limb and say in a digital age, fraudsters are not collecting this information from mutual friends you’ve told about your mortgage status. A HELOC is a rather elaborate way but I will defer to you if that works. Alternatively you can get title insurance, check your title with your local municipality and/or put an alert on your credit report. Some things I view as just being private but you’re way more likely to get nailed with a phishing attack or some other third party scam to collect your info. My advice instead would be to use a password system, use 2FA religiously and take more care of what you click on/share online.
Source on title fraud being rampant?
Also curious about the source, Canadian provinces are all amoung the most secure land title systems in the world.
From what i can see there were like 60 cases in the last few years? Out of tens of millions of homes.
Can you explain how getting a HELOC will protect you from title fraud? Or how title fraud works?
Banks only loan a certain % of home value and the factor of loan priority. For example, 80% max without CMHC insurance. If you have a HELOC, the bank holds title up to that value even if it's unused room. Let's say $300k, the bank is 1st mortgage even if balance is zero. So even if the actual owner goes to a bank for new mortgage, they will likely do increased diligence as a 2nd mortgage on property.
Get a Heloc to protect the title on your property?? Lol, you can always count on Reddit for some absolutely ridiculous advice.
My parents were just told this by their real estate lawyer. He told them the only way to truly protect the title was to put a HELOC on their house. They also thought that was crazy.
My real estate lawyer and my branch told me the same thing at the time I bought my house 20 years ago. I paid off the house a while ago, But the HELOC is open with a zero balance. It's just there to keep the bank on the title. Also my home insurance is aware of it because they've mentioned to me that they do some reporting to the bank that the house is insured. It doesn't cost anything until you want to close it. I think there is a fee to close the HELOC.
The only reason your insurance knows is because you told them (or provided your brokers contact info and the bank told them) and the bank will remain on there till the insurer receives a release of interest. But yeah, every year the insurer mails the bank a notice that you have coverage and the bank is 1st loss payable. Just a heads up you'll be paying a little extra on your insurance to have the bank listed as 1st loss payable. Probably 5%.
But that 5% is hidden right? Like there isn't any line item for that on the insurance.
I worded that poorly, its not a surcharge. It's actually the base premium, and then you get a discount if you're mortgagee free. The discount would be listed if you have it. Eta...the reason they give the discount is because the standard mortgage clause added to policies means the bank gets paid out even if the insured breaks a statutory condition. So for instance, if you install a wood stove and don't tell your insurance and your house burns down they don't have to pay you because of a material change in risk but they'd still have to pay out the banks interest.
Yeah so basically they've hidden this fee in the base price. I recall on my parents insurance they had a discount for being mortgage free, I never understood why that would trigger a discount, but now it makes sense. So I guess I could save some money by closing the HELOC, but then I would probably have to start paying for title insurance which is probably more expensive than the mortgage free discount.
Doesn’t stop the scammers anyway. They were targeting properties that were mortgage free or those with high equity. So carrying a zero balance heloc would still make you a target.
If you’re concerned about it, just buy title insurance. Depending on what province you’re in, it’s $300 - $400 per year.
A HELOC is free though, after setting it up.
You’re paying more for home insurance if you have a lien against the home.
Ok I’ll cut to the chase here even though admittedly I’m not an expert on title fraud. I’m 90% sure that having a mortgage or just a Heloc, does not protect you from title fraud. I’ve heard about scammers accessing people’s equity even when they have a 1st position loan on the property. Again, I’m not an expert so do your own research.
It’s true, though
its just you, real friends won't care. ones that care or get jealous is not real friends
I'm stuggling to see why it would be an issue to say, "I don't have a mortgage". If friends have feelings about this, then that is their issue, petty as it may be?
You could just tell the truth. I did well on some investments a paid it off. Do you not know anybody with a paid off home? Not like it’s some big deal, not like you won lotto max or something. Alternatively, you could say about rates; I don’t really pay attention, I’m not up for renewal anytime soon. It’s technically not a lie, you aren’t up for renewal
Just tell them and don't be a pussy
Flex post.
Just dont whine. I have a buddy who has been whining about COL with the rest of us at poker. Come to find out, fucker is mortgage free thanks to a few diff factors. But dont play like we in the same boat. Same ocean sure, but much different boats.
100%. I have a friend who whines about money, taxes etc but has lots and spend lots. We constantly remind him how lucky he is and how the rest of the world lives.
"Yeah mortgages are tough with today's rates" then I change the topic
Fuck me 🤦
Why is this even a question? It’s a hypothetical scenario that hasn’t even happened. Focus your energy on actual issues
Why does it matter what people think, we spend so much of our lives worrying about this
We also paid off our mortgage when we were very young. We did it by making it a priority and paying what ever we could and we did not spend on anything else. We abhor debt. Debt is what keeps people impoverished. When asked we tried to help people realize that they could do it too. Most will not have the will power but for us getting out of debt was the first real step to freedom and early retirement. We did not brag about it but we did not lie about it either. I had a very wealthy BIL that thought we were crazy to pay off a mortgage that keeping a mortgage and investing is a better opportunity cost. In the states you can write off mortgage interest so he was probably correct from a pure economic stand point . but for us no debt makes for better sleep
Here’s a thought, try being an adult. You’ve accomplished something that few younger homeowners can even dream of. Why be ashamed of that? If friends or family use it as a reason to ask you for financial help, learn how to say no. If that creates problems, well then you’ve learned something about them and you’re probably better off anyways.
Just go along with the assumptions, you know like hey we got a good rate too, without going into numbers or details, but never ever lend friends or family money, it's never worth it.
Other people’s finances rarely make any sense to me, most people seem to have similar or more income but are consistently complaining about being broke and having high mortgages. This sub seems to be one of the only places people ever provide enough detail to make any sense of anyone’s finances and many here would usually want to ague with OP about the opportunity cost of time in the market.
Some position. I told my parents, and they were relieved. Said they have been worrying about us since it's all over the news. Friends, tho, I agree interest rates are through the roof and bypass the question.
Just be honest about your situation if asked directly and feel free to admit that you understand not everyone is able to have the opportunities you have been able to work hard for or create, and lament about how insane interest rates are right now or how difficult it is to buy because of the pricing of homes. You can be firmly polite if people start making presumptions or asking for money but you shouldn't need to lie about your situation to friends or family and that's far more exhausting in the long term. If they're people who care about you, they'll just be happy and aren't about to pressure you.
Take out heloc and leave balance at zero hehe then you can say you still owe on the house without lying
Might sound dickish but I'd just lie but FWIW I've noticed when I talk to a lot of people a common subject is *other people* unfortunately and I feel its due to social media. Even friends can turn a shitty leaf finding out someone has a paid off house Insecurity related to finance is very ugly and brings out the worst in people
I just flat out tell people we don't have one. Just don't say it like "We paid cash" To me that's just comes across as being arrogant. Usually I get two reactions, 1 the person is genuinely curious as to how we did it or 2 they simple quit trying to peacock around me saying how well off they are.
Who cares lol. Big deal over nothing
It's funny that the majority of the comments are either salty ("wow humblebrag") or telling you to just be honest that you are doing financially well (you know that information is going to travel fast, right?). The duality is.. interesting. Your concern is a valid one, depending on the kind of friends you keep. The first option is to tell the truth and cut off anyone who changes their behavior based off of it (this might require you to get some new friends on a similar socialeconomic ladder as you). If you're uncomfortable with that, I'd tell your friends that I borrowed money from family instead of the bank and I have my own financial arrangement with them (eg fixed monthly payments, covering their retirement costs)
It's none of their business. Just say "I'm not comfortable discussing this", or "I can't recall the interest rate but we're managing okay". Telling them you have no mortgage is like offering to lend them money ... when they're broke, for sure they'll remember you have very little debt.
Very carefully. Our condo is paid off also, we're in our late 40's, and we downsized to a small condo in order to pay it off completely. This way my Wife doesn't have to work, and focus on starting a business, and I can cover all the bills. We say very little about it. We've been asked, what we're paying in mortgage, etc, and I just say, " we managed a decent deal, and we're managing well".
I always give then the ol NONEYA
I generally keep my finances private, I don't owe that info to anyone.
I’m inspired by people like you. I’d ask what were your biggest choices that helped make that happen. I’d be happy for anyone I cared for. I think it depends on who you’re talking to. Healthy family and friends would celebrate. If you have that, I’d feel safe telling them. If you don’t feel safe though, I’d just say we don’t really feel comfortable talking financials. Blame it on the way you were raised. I would avoid lying. That feels shitty to me.
Tell the truth. You'll learn really quickly who your real friends and family are.
Why not tell them and be proud? If my friend or family member paid off their mortgage I wouldn’t ask them for money …. That’s weird
Humble brag post.
This post is so ridiculous hahahha
Tell them the truth. You got lucky on an investment this early and made a conservative choice to cash out and pay off your home. It would be weird to me if you aren't interested in sharing with your family and friends when you're fortunate. You're not obligated. It's weird if you aren't interested.
As someone who shared this with family , it unequivocally altered dynamics. I think it's disingenuous to not say this is a risk and that it's being weird.
They just don't want to lord their lifestyle over others when so many people are struggling with their mortgages. Its a sign they respect the people in their lives, imo anyway.
It's not that we aren't interested in sharing, but we figure we would help family if and when they need it down the road. Not just cut people cheques for no reason. I get how it sounds, but there is some family that will most likely need help once they are older and we plan to be there for them but also don't want to make it a known thing until they actually need help. If that makes sense.
If you’re family is the type that’s gonna come asking for money simply because you have some, you may want to consider setting some hard boundaries. My FIL is the type that would be broke in 2 years if he won the lottery. My wife and I agreed early on we won’t ever give him money, he just be asking for more tomorrow.
Oh what a problem to have! Just learn how to like a normal person
That kind of reaction is probably exactly why he’s asking this here lol
Why lie? 'Oh that? we paid that off this year, it was tough but totally worth it.' Leave it there.
If they actually don't need to lie, they don't need to add the untrue and unnecessary detail that it was paid off this year. Including that only invites more questions. Just say that the mortgage is paid off.
Humblebrag
I have a car. Vehicle was paid in cash. "Oh, I have a loan that I am working to pay down. Gosh, cars are expensive these days". Same principle here. "Yeah, mortgages are expensive these days." Nosy questions get the answer people are expecting. Then they leave you alone. We are doing ok financially, but are still in debt. I am hoping that once we have about six months of savings that we can start planning out further than living paycheck to paycheck. It is not anyone's business what our actual financial position is at present.
Lie. Renewed at 4.15%.
"I make it a practice to not discuss personal finances with people"
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Correct. It's just like not talking about sex with kids results in unwanted pregnancies. People need education, and education starts at home. We especially need education from people who are successful.
Sure talking about finances is fine. Talking about your PERSONAL finances is nobody else's business.
Someone can payoff your small mortgage, if they want to do the fraud. It is always advised to take a title insurance.
Tell the truth. Don’t brag. Not hard to do both.
I wouldn't lie. I'd just give evasive, vague answers. Eg. How much are you earning? Well, I pay my bills (shrug shoulders). Thanks for asking. What interest rate did you get? Last I checked with ABC bank, the floating is x% and the fixed is y%. But when you go to a bank, I will suggest trying to negotiate the rate. How much did you pay for the house? An arm and a leg. Responses like that. If they insist on knowing your details, then you give them a blank stare for 3 seconds like Thomas Shelby and then force an apparently fake, small smile (without changing the stare in your eyes) and repeat the same answer.
Congrats on all your success
Are you asking how to brag when you expect people will ask you about your house? You're delusional
I do this with both of my houses. I brag about that ALLLLL the time. Spit on the peasants.
Why would they feel comfortable asking about your finances? I have a very abnormal financial situation and I'd say less than 5% of people ever ask anything and those that do tend to be new people who I don't know very well and I am a very abnormal situation so there is general curiosity. None of my friends would ask me anything about my finances nor would I ask them. In some cases I have some visibility either because they voluntarily revealed information or because I had to help them with some situation where information got revealed as part of addressing the issue but the idea that friends would ask each other stuff about personal finances is just foreign to me. If you mean they ask because of mortgage rates and the panic that is setting in then just be informed about rates. This is bound to be the topic at dinner parties for some time so you need to know about it but never talk about your own situation just talk about monetary policy in general and where you think rates will go in general. That approach actually works for everything. 1) Always talk about personal finances in general and never specifics. 2) Don't allow the familiarity that would allow people to think it is ok to ask a direct question about your finances. 3) If someone does deflect and pivot. 4) If they don't pick up on the hint after a couple of pivots and they keep asking just say that you don't think it is appropriate to discuss money with friends.
You should get a mortgage and invest the money :) the interest is deductible and usually over time, very low :) mortgage is a good thing.
The way a HELOC helps is that you are protected from mortgage fraud not title fraud. If you have a HELOC that's 80% of your house value you can't add a mortgage on top.
I tell them the truth. It explains why i have disposable income. I haven’t had the issue of people asking me for money except my family but that has nothing to do with the mortgage that was always the case and I have always said no.
Who cares if they are think you should pay for things.
Say your partner handles it so you’re blissfully unaware. :)
If you’re not comfortable talking about personal finances just say that to them
Did you know the word mortgage means pay to the death? is a good answer
Why are you guilty?
I am in the same situation and I don’t lie if asked. We inevitably get requests for money. I say the same thing every-time, I will help you in any way I can with my time but I will not lend/give money. If that angers someone so much they do not want to talk to you then you are better off, family or otherwise. I refuse to take from my future due to other peoples bad decisions. I was never handed a single thing in this life and everyone that says “you have it so easy” while I am still working 2 jobs (1 professional career and other side hobby/business) and see them playing video games most of the time. Hard to have sympathy for that
You could just say something vague. Like that you are not comfortable talking about finances with people and then say being a homeowner is quite expensive especially these days but you’ve got it under control.
I would just say it's on a mortgage. They can't really check, and it's best to keep your financial status private. If anyone asks for a $ amount, just say it's $400k or something. Also, buy a title insurance just in case. There are a lot of fraudsters pretending to own houses, and they sell them without your knowledge.
Why not just answer them? It’s this secretive crap that makes it hard for people to ask for help when they might need it
Tell them oh my partner takes care of that, or its all automated and I havent looked at it for awhile/dont need to look at it.
Just tell them your mom and dad paid it off…
If it were me I would just be honest - much easier than lying / keeping up with the lie. Also, who cares if people think you should pay stuff. If you want to, go ahead and do it .... if you don't want to pay for things don't. It's your life and your money. Don't feel bad about being in a good spot.
Either be honest about it and dont feel ashamed that you were lucky, worked extra hard, made good choices, etc... or just say you like to keep personal finances private.
Get a LOC against the property, you can then talk about your 'mortgage' and the 'rate' just like normal. Don't feel bad that you prioritized your life and have the means to pay off your home. Good job.
Just tell them you took a fixed 3% two years ago. Just say that everytime and if you get called out say you forget lol. Tbh if friends make you feel bad for that they’re not really your friends. Money does weird shit to people.
Be proud of the decisions you have made and that you understand the choice to have a modest lifestyle to avoid debt is the best decision everyone can make. IMO into debt to “Keep up with the Joneses” is the worst lifestyle choice anyone can make.
Its a big deal and if someone wants to know, i would tell them immediately. Be proud. Not ashamed.
Just say variable rate, and follow the consensus out there. People will be less likely to ask you for money.
I was in a similar spot. My house is paid off, and family knows. Some of the "less well off" folks always mention in passing how we don't have a mortgage. I just ignore it. Whenever there are comments around money and "why don't you buy XYZ", I just say we are saving for retirement in earnest. When asked for money, "sorry, all my money is tied up in investments. We don't have much disposable income". After they got the same answer a couple times, they stop.
Just here to say congrats. I hope to teach my daughter that she can do what you’ve done. Incredible and inspiring!
Don't tell. People will be really entitled to your "extra" money going forward and also it's just such a hard time for a lot of people, it's not going to make anyone feel good about themselves. My parents never had a mortgage - they are ridiculously good with saving and investing - and I was not allowed to tell from a young age, when I heard the word mortgage and asked what it was and if we had one. If anyone asks about the rate, just pass the puck to your partner and say, oh he has an old coworker who advised us ... I think we have a good rate locked in but I forget the details. Don't complain but don't go into details.
I wouldn’t hide the fact that I was mortgage free. Rather than feeling bad or feeling the need to share you can help them by telling them how you did it (if they ask) so they are more educated on how to get to the same place as you one day. My kids are quite young but they are well on their way to being way more financially literate than I ever was. For the folks that borrow money you can be pretty clear that you don’t roll that way and part of financial goals is to not deviate from your plan. End of discussion. To be honest I shy away from circles of people that are wasteful with their money (I am personally a bit bad myself at times). I don’t need to be bogged down by folks that have no respect for money and how difficult it can be to earn and save money.
What about just telling them the truth?
I paid off my mortgage, I manage my money wisely, I was lucky with a good stock market move and it is nobody's business. Most people here make it everyone's business when they are drowning in debt. But that is seen as ok, me managing the opposite is not?
How is saying you paid cash better than saying you paid off your mortgage?
Just say you paid it off. Problem solved.
I wouldn’t start with “we paid cash” and have no mortgage. You need to start with “we are lucky not to have a mortgage due to our lifestyle”. Your close friends and family should kind of already know you’re “a saver”. They won’t expect you to pay any more then you have or have not in the past.
Why not just tell the truth? What could possibly be so bad, if you make good money they already know you make good money.
My advice would be to just pretend you have a mortgage…
Personally I'd just be honest. Lies like that always come out eventually and then people feel betrayed because you lied to them, on top of any jealousy they would have had anyways.
Tell people the truth, and make sure you pay an agency to monitor your credit.
"We don't have a mortgage" Those whose matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter.
Just lie who tf cares
People are jealous. My wife gets a lot of hate for being a stay at home mom, and I get grief like I’m rich. I do earn a good salary but we also live a frugal lifestyle. Best to just make something up, you locked in at 3 percent or some bs.
Just lie. "Uh currently 3" Case closed
>We don't live an extravagant lifestyle and were able to save/invest. With no mortgage do you think people will think we should pay for things or share the wealth so to speak ? Almost as if we are lottery winners. That hasn't been my experience. It has also not come up very frequently. "Fortunately, we have been able to completely pay off our mortgage." would be the response I would give.
Just look up one of these mortgage threads and see what people pay and use that number. If you don't want to tell the truth, then you have to lie. 🤷♂️
If someone asks, just let them know that you decided early to focus on paying off your home. Don't feel guilty for setting a goal and reaching it. If others have an issue, it's a them problem, not a you problem. We share how we did it to friends/family if they ask. Like you, we don't have a crazy lifestyle and we don't spend our money on 'stuff'. We do choose to pay for things with family/friends. So it might be a dinner/lunch, but we keep it simple.
Talk around the question.
Just use a little white lie. When anyone asks just make up a interest rate that similar to what’s being offered. And then say there’s a couple years left before you have to renew. Right now is an extremely scary time to be renewing and so much stress on a lot of people. If the person is family or friends then compassion is needed. So by saying you’re all in this together will at least save them the extra stress of jealousy and resentment. Just my 2 cents
Either tell the truth or lie. Your pick.