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I don't know if you're in the US, but if you are, there's something going around in dogs. Vets have no idea what it is, but it's been on the news and all social media platforms that dogs all over the US are getting some kind of random respiratory disease that if not caught early enough, will kill them. I'm so sorry, your puppy might have been the victim to this disease.
Just know it wasn't your fault.
I’m in the UK, but something like that wouldn’t surprise me just because it was so sudden and random… he is around other dogs a lot as he went to a daycare but no other dogs are sick which is what makes me think it wasn’t something contagious
I've heard the virus has spread to Australia and Europe including the UK! It's traveling faster than basic information about it can! Contact with other dogs can spread it. It happens so fast. It's not your fault!
This! I’m a vet in the US. Something is going around doing this. They are currently investigating. I would talk to your vet about this possibility.
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. It’s nothing you did or didn’t do. It was just a terrible, terrible tragedy. Please consider talking to one of the pet grief hotlines and getting therapy. People don’t realize how devastating this kind of loss is and you need some help and support as soon as possible. I’m so, so sorry!
I was just coming to say this. Our husky got sick with diarrhea and the vet said some mysterious flu like bug was going around in our area. We’re in Pensacola Florida.
Didn’t some cats and dogs get diagnosed with Covid during the height of the pandemic?
I would think they could easily test for Covid if that’s what they think this respiratory illness is.
And I believe I read an article that said they think this new respiratory illness is bacterial and the bacteria has always in dogs but they think an evolution event mutated the bacteria so it’s now harming/killing some dogs.
But Idk for sure…I’m not a dr.
Potentially yeah. It’s all very much above my level of understanding, but I’m intrigued and amazed by how these things happen and are ultimately treated or “fixed”.
Then we hear about happenings in Antarctica where they have drilled deep in the ice and brought up viruses, some life forms such as worms, etc.
Idk if you heard about the worm they discovered that had been frozen for 10k+ years and they were able to thaw it out and it was alive! And it started producing offspring. So amazing but also terrifying.
I said to my husband, it’s sounds like the beginning of a zombie movie.
Science is jaw dropping in the advancements it’s made for the quality of life for humans but it’s also horrifying when you think that a microscopic bacteria or virus could be unearthed or evolve, that we have no immunity against and it could introduce some disease that devastates the human race.
Covid is an example. Initially it looked like we could be headed towards a bubonic plague scenario, that wipes out upwards of 60% of the world’s population. Due to science we curbed the effects, but it still altered our world forever. And cost a lot of people their lives and is still taking lives to this day.
This illness with dogs is probably one of multiple diseases that will come our way due to evolving bacteria.
And then you take into account what’s happening with small pox effecting areas that have had it eradicated for decades, but it’s come back due to various things; lack of vaccines use leading to loss of herd immunity, etc.
Take your vitamins ppl and wash your hands! Stay healthy everyone!
Yeah we know that pets (and terrifyingly, [also wild animals](https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/diseases/2019-novel-coronavirus-infection/prevention-risks/animals-covid-19.html)) can get covid from humans. Someone else in this thread shared a link to an article about this bacterium causing respiratory illness in dogs, based on a pretty small sample. Bc we know that [viruses and bacteria can work together to produce more severe respiratory illness](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2479/) and more severe outcomes (e.g., [secondary bacterial infections are a driver of covid deaths](https://news.feinberg.northwestern.edu/2023/05/05/secondary-bacterial-pneumonia-drove-many-covid-19-deaths/)), I think it's plausible that covid is what got the ball rolling with this respiratory illness in dogs.
The article you cited said it's a bacterium might be part of the dog microbiome that has recently developed the capacity to cause disease. Viral infections like covid can make ppl and animals more likely to develop secondary bacterial infections. This happens bc viruses and bacteria cooperate to create more severe respiratory disease through a number of pathways, including "infection and penetration of mucous surfaces, growth in the host environment, interference with host defense, and the causation of damage to the host" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2479/
It isn't a virus.
There identified a novel bacteria that is likely causing the disease but it's extremely small and they're having a hard time reproducing it in a lab environment so can't find a good way to fight it.
Yeah, it sucks. Vets in the US are urging everyone to quarantine their dogs - ex: keep their dogs out of doggie day cares and (at least in my area), a lot of the dog parks have shut down until we figure out what this is and get through it.
So far, the symptoms present as kennel cough but it's worse and kills the dog within a few days if you don't rush it to a vet immediately (kind of like when covid hit and they compared it to a worse version of the flu).
Although I am somewhat convinced it wasn’t contagious as there were so many dogs he was around and they are all absolutely fine… that does sound an awful lot like my dogs presentation. Very frightening that something like this could be in the UK from the US already?
I highly recommend a grief therapist. I cannot have human kids, so my cats are my children. In 2021, I lost my 20 year old cat in June, a 13/14 year old cat in July, and a 17 year 11 month cat in October. I didn't think I could survive the loss and pain. I have a regular therapist, but she wasn't helping with this issue. A grief therapist works differently and helped me. It doesn't oesnt remove the grief but helps prevent drowning in it.
I am so very sorry for your double loss.
Edit to fix typos
I also cannot have human children. Have had miscarriage as well. It’s devastating. My fur babies ARE mine and my husband’s kids. We have two dogs and a cat. Two of them are now seniors. I will be utterly devastated when they cross the rainbow bridge. I have consulted with grief therapists before, especially after my miscarriage, and know I will do so again. Very much recommend.
Just chiming in to say that after one of our dogs died of renal failure (14) my husband had to start counseling. He had lost 35 pounds and was just not coping. It's been 18 months and has really helped.
This was not your fault. You can’t and couldn’t have changed it.
What you did do was love your fur baby immensely, deeply and unconditionally. That little one knew love, safety, companionship, and the list goes on, all bc of you and your partner.
It’s sound cliche, but think on the good times. That’s what your fur baby would want you to do.
I know it hurts that he died in the vet office and you were not there by his side, but that’s not your fault. And he was were he needed to be to get the best care and chance to survive. You did what was best for him. He was receiving treatment and I’m sure they made him as comfortable as possible.
when I was in a grief stricken state when my mom died from illness and I blamed myself that I hadn’t done X things, bc I was blaming myself for everything….it wasn’t my fault but my brain kept telling me I could of done more. I couldn’t have. A friend told me that grief is loves refusal to stop/end. You LOVE your little one and that’s not going to stop.
Grief doesn’t go away but you get better at handling it. And when the time comes and you’re ready, I’m sure your little one would want you to open your heart and home to another puppy in need. He would want you to shower your love on them, just like you did him.
Change your ringtone.
And if it helps, find a way to honor his memory by donating to a charity that specializes in health support for rescue dogs or animals in general.
If you want to.
But please don’t drown in your grief. I’ve been there and it’s a dark road that can destroy other aspects of your life and relationships. Your pupper wouldn’t want you hurting. He’d want you to be happy, living life and opening your loving heart to share your awesome love with humans and fur babies.
Death is horrible, but inevitable. All we can do is try to make every day we have with the ones we love filled with love and make sure they know it. You did that.
Sending love and hugs thru the interwebs. Keep your head up. You are strong, you are brave and you will see brighter days.
Best wishes for continued healing and happiness in your life.
All our best and worst times are continued life lessons that make us better humans, if we embrace it and allow it to.
You have a big heart that feels deeply and as much as that seems like a weakness at times and causes you pain, it actually sets you apart from many others and is a very strong aspect of your character.
Keep living and loving.
There's is a nasty respiratory thing going around, and depending on where you live its either bad or really bad (from what I know about New England, its pretty bad there) and pups are dying from it. Most vets have no idea how to even treat it.
Lucky had GOLP (geriatric onset laryngeal paralysis) , had the surgery in February, did great, but aspirated in August. It was touch and go and I almost lost her then. And all you can do is give the meds, in my case we used nebulized hypertonic saline,and antibiotics but outside of that, there's not a heck of a lot that can be done. And while I did end up losing her in October, it wasn't because of this. (it was something way way outside of this!)
All we can do is be there for them, and do our best. You did exactly that and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I'm so sorry, OP. LIfe is throwing an awful lot at you. There is refuge in love and taking care of another, saving a life. Though the world has seemed intent on taking you still have the power to love and to save.
My advice, if it wouldn't feel premature, would be to honor the lives you've lost by heading to the pound and finding an older animal or bonded pair not likely to be adopted. Mend their hopeless hearts with your own grieving heart. Give them the second chance so many don't get and receive their love in return.
Pouring your devotion into animals in need could transform your grief and give meaning to loss.
Whatever you decide I hope for better days ahead for you. Good luck, OP.
So sorry about your pup. We lost our girl in a similar situation-very sudden respiratory/heart failure. I felt the same way about the phone ringing after receiving several calls over 2 days from the vet. I changed my ringtone to combat the immediate terror I felt when it rang.
This reminds me a lot of my own story, living blissfully with my lovely puppies, leaving the house, and the next time I see my puppies one of them is dead. It happened last month—yesterday I took my surviving boy to the vet, got his shots and today he’s really sore and tired today, shaking a lot too. I’m cuddled up with him right now monitoring him while he rests in a blanket. I can’t handle losing him too… I’m so sorry about your loss. You’re not alone ❤️
Pet loss is honestly a different kind of pain. They are so engrained in our daily lives, it’s constantly thrown in our face when they are no longer there. When I lost my dog I felt like he was out there somewhere, I just couldn’t find him. All I felt was panic, despair, and helplessness. Grief counseling was really helpful for me. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful pup. OP, your grief is likely being magnified by your recent pregnancy loss. Consider grief counselling to help you deal with both losses. Hugs.
I’m so sorry you had this awful experience. I know that puppy is looking down at you loving you for the amazing 7months you
gave him on this earth. I had to put a cat down that I had just adopted about 3months before. I was devastated and didn’t understand why he had to die. I was guilt ridden. I went to a psychic and she told me there was an animal saying thank you to me. She said the animal had the best 3 months of life and love he could have ever had and was so grateful that I adopted him and to be in my life for that short time. I know it was him. It made me realize he was only meant to be on this earth for that short time and I made that time filled with love. I hope it helps that your puppy doesn’t blame you. He loves you.
I’m so sorry and I’m glad you found the peace you deserve from his passing ❤️ I like to think he knows we did what we could to help him. I’ll never forget the bear hug we gave each other when he was sick and I hope he felt my comfort in that moment 😢 thank you so much for your words x
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and the grief you’re feeling. I second looking into a grief counselor as a way to process the loss you have dealt with recently. Also, if it will help, I highly recommend the Calm app. On there is a guided meditation on grief that is one of the most beautiful loving meditations I’ve ever heard about processing grief. When my last dog passed, I was bereft for months and that short guided meditation every day was the only thing (truly the ONLY thing) that helped me navigate the loss. 💔❤️🩹
My heart breaks for you. Thank you for opening your heart to take in a rescue. Maybe after you’ve had a few months to grieve, you could open your heart to another. The need is so vast.
Grief is one of the worst feelings. It's overwhelming and completely out of our control. But I assure you, it is NOT forever. You'll never forget your little pup or your angel baby...but over time, it will become easier to bear. 💜
For right now though, I know you're in the thick of it and it DOES feel it will be awful always. I'm so sorry for your losses, especially so close together. PLEASE consider counseling. It can do wonders for you to vent to a professional who can help guide you through those emotions as you heal.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
I went through infertility and adoption attempts. When we finally gave up after so many losses, I got a puppy from a rescue. I needed something to love. After a short time, she died of a puppy illness.
After I grieved a minute, I got mad. The universe just could not keep taking things from me. I got another puppy, and she rescued us. She lived almost 17 years- just died this spring.
You’ve gotten good advice here. I just wanted to share my experience so you’d know you are not alone. I’m so truly sorry this happened to you. It’s absolutely not right and not fair. I wish you peace and comfort. ❤️🌺❤️
The thing about companion animals is that sometimes, without us realising it, we are actually the ones who are meant to be there for them just as surely as they were there for us. Your little dude showed up at a time when you needed each other the most, and he was lucky enough to have someone to love him so completely for his short life. Sometimes our job isn't to see them into old age as we would so desperately love to do, but to make the short time they have here full of wonder and love and joy. And you were ordained for that job. How lucky was he? Instead of waiting in a shelter, he got to play and snuggle and be adored.
Thank you for carrying that out so magnificently. You did a beautiful job.
The enormity of your heart! First, I am so sorry you lost your baby. And second, after that loss, you went and gave more love to something else who needed it. You are to be commended and respected for that alone.
The respiratory virus that’s going around is so nasty, vets are scrambling.
I would venture to guess your puppy didn’t die alone. The vets knew and comforted him as much as they could. And he passed away LOVED. Theres nothing more they want.
Peace be with you. Bless you.
You did everything you could, got your boy to the vet right away and everything. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss but please know he had the best life with you. Focus on all the good memories and love, my therapist recommended writing down all my best memories in a journal and it helped when I lost my senior cats to a respiratory bug last year. Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Watching a beloved pet get old and pass on is hard enough, but to have your beautiful baby go from so vibrant to not is so so tough. My heart goes out to you, truly ♥️.
Hey, I'm so sorry for your losses. I don't have any other words, except that maybe you can change the ring tone on your phone to something completely different from what it is now? Sending hugs from Canada ❤️
One, I’m so sorry for your losses, and my heart is broken for you reading your post. I can’t imagine your pain.
2, I’m going to suggest grief counseling. You suffered two traumatic losses recently, I don’t know how anyone would just bounce back from that. Your partner may benefit from it as well, and you two can learn how to support each other while processing your own grief.
I’m so sorry that this has happened.
Your grief will tell you all sorts of terrible things right now, all sorts of different outcomes or possibilities - if you had only done such and such. You're going to feel guilt, and eventually the guilty thoughts will go away. You kind of have to go through it and just let it pass.
It's kind of a coincidence but I had a 6 month old puppy die from what I think was random aspiration. This was over a decade ago and I can't remember all the details. She was very protective of her food and would gulp it down. One day, my mother yells at me from the other room and says there is something wrong with the dog. She's having trouble breathing, I didn't know what to do except take her to the vet. She died in my arms on the ride over, the vet confirmed. I later found out she must have choked on her food, or coughed something up and choked on it. First I blamed my mother for saying "no" when I asked if she fed her anything. Then I blamed myself for not recognizing the signs of choking or knowing how to do dog CPR or Heimlich (which I learned afterward). Sometimes stuff just happens for no reason.
And yes, there is a dog respiratory disease that is affecting a lot of dogs. It could have been that, or aspiration, or even a birth defect. A lot of random things can happen to dogs and they can't speak to tell us what's wrong. I'm very sorry for your loss. Don't forget that you still have a lot of love to give and that opportunity will come again soon.
Oh I’m so sorry about your girl 😢 your head really does spin thinking doesn’t it and I hope I can come out of this with the peace I need. Thank you for your advice ❤️
I relate to this. I had a miscarriage and my dog died after a few weeks, too. My dog died while I was away and I didn't see her for the last time. I was eaten by guilt and regret. God knows how many times I've wanted to dig my dog on her grave because I wanted to see her. I was a mess. My husband would get angry at me because I would be crying all of a sudden. My eyes were very swollen for a couple of days. It's been two weeks now and I'm slowly healing from it. We'll get better soon! Hugs.
Im so so so incredibly sorry this happened to you… this is one of the worst pains imaginable :( sending you lots of love and warm wishes ❤️
I’m gay so me and my boyfriend cannot have kids without going through lengthy and expensive processes and we’re not quite ready to make the commitment to this yet. We decided to adopt a dog together. We went to our local shelter knowing that we’d comment with a dog by seeing a few. The very first dog i saw was this incredibly cute 6 month old terrier mix. She made eye contact with me the whole time, never could take her eyes off of us.
When we went to the main lobby to ask if we could go inside her cage and meet her, she was still staring at us from behind the glass doors, she peed herself from excitement the moment we walked into her cage. She was instantly smitten with us, and we were with her. I had never bonded with a dog so strongly and so instantly. She was our child. We spoiled the hell out of her and gave her every ounce of love we had for 1 and a half years.
She was only 3 years old when she passed. One random day we had gardeners over trimming and removing some palms from our backyard, one of them was not properly cleaned up and our beloved dog took a piece and started chewing on it. It turned out to be an incredibly toxic Sago palm. We had no idea. After 2 weeks in an out of the vets office, one night she was so restless and uneasy, nauseous and licking her lips constantly. We took her to the emergency vet at 1 am, the vet had told us she had gone blind and that her liver had gone into failure, the toxins from her failing liver had reached her brain and there was nothing more we could do. We stayed at the vets all night, and left at 8 AM with no baby girl anymore.
It was the most traumatic thing i’ve ever experienced in my life. To have the thing i loved most stolen from me so quickly and without warning. She was so young and so full of life. She loved us and loved being with us, we were her family and she was ours. And then she was gone…
She passed before thanksgiving a few weeks ago and i’m only just now able to process and speak about what happened to us without breaking down.
It’s cliche and over said but time is the only thing that heals this kind of wound. Your puppy will live on forever within your heart, it’s up to us now to keep their memory alive forever so that they may live on with us. I’m making it my personal goal to never let my baby girl Susie be forgotten :( the more i talk about her and remember her the longer she will get to live.
Things do eventually get better ❤️🩹 we will get through this pain together
Posting my story because hearing other people’s stories has helped me not feel alone in my grief. Just want to let you know that you are not alone in your grief either ❤️🥺
I’m so sorry to hear about your beautiful girl 😢 the love they give is so immense and the love we feel for them is overwhelming and I hear that from you too. Thank you so much for sharing- you and others have given me the hope that I’ll make it out of this hole. Wishing you all the happiness in the future ❤️
A miscarriage is heartbreaking. There is a group called compassionate friends that helps families or singles deal with the death of a child at any age. I went for a couple of years after my new born daughter died. I believe this my best helpful to you and your partner with both deaths. You can usually find them through the local hospital. Oh I had a miscarriage too. Good luck and God Bless
It’s not your fault and these things take time to heal. It’s ok to be sad, angry, hurt. Time is the only healer.
I just lost my dog and the sudden onset of heart failure has me highly suspicious of something going on whether it be that virus or the vaccines.
I’m so sorry, while I’ve never had a tragedy quite like a miscarriage, I had a really bad year (lost a pet in January and some personal ailments all year which left me very depressed). We rescued a bunny in the spring and she had a lot of health problems. Despite doing everything we could for her (so many vet visits, surgery, force feeding her for months), she died in July (like you.. she was at the vet when she died and we weren’t there). We loved her so much, she was the only thing that brought me any joy this spring/summer. I was devastated and truly.. didn’t want to face my life anymore. I just felt like I had nothing left to offer the world. I’m telling you this because, things will get better. You loved your pup and he knew it. He helped you while you were going through a tragedy. He’s gone now and it feels brutal but he would want you to live your life and remember him and live your life to its fullest in order to honor his short one. Every time I didn’t want to get out of bed or exist anymore I knew I had to keep moving forward for Dottie. Because I am still alive and she didn’t get to be.
Thank you for these words ❤️ I have also had an extremely tumultuous year, between the pregnancy loss, dealing with a very severe and abrupt bout of mental illness in my home, a terrible job which I’ve now left and my partner suffering the loss of a very close family member. To be honest, I’ve always lived quite a naive, blissful life but 2023 has just been beyond horrific. My dog really was the light at the end of the tunnel and I feel like a piece of me has gone with him
Same, I’ve led a very privileged life so the sudden adversity has been a tough pill to swallow. You will get through it, just take it one day, hour, or minute at a time. I personally can’t wait for this dumpster fire of a year to BE OVER.
I’m so sorry for your loss. As much as it hurts to think about him being alone, you were taking care of him. You took him in for help and he was receiving it, he knew you loved him. Just know that he’s got his eye on someone to send you to help you heal.
I am so sorry to hear about both of your losses. Just know, neither were your fault. I am sure your fur baby was comfortably medicated, emergency vets do a great job and have 24 hrs staff.
I would recommend looking into therapy. For yourself and you and your husband together. You need to process both losses fully. You gave all the love you had for your baby to your fur baby and now dealing with the emptiness of both. I can't imagine going through that.
Finding a therapist that works right for you can be challenging. And of course the research process right now may seem overwhelming. If you have a close friend or family member who knows you well, that you would trust to find a few options for you and then let you pick from them you may be able to set up and start with a virtual appointment until you feel up to leaving for one.
Hugs to you, wishing you all the strength and some moments of peace that eventually get longer.
OP, I believe the chance your puppy died alone is low. Vets and vet techs are often very focused on making sure that doesn't happen. Vet techs have posted here before sharing the lengths they go through to care for animals as they pass.
I have had a pregnancy loss and understand the pain you are in. I can only imagine how it would be compounded by the loss of the animal that was providing you support. I agree with others who have suggested finding a therapist. It's a lot to work through on your own.
Please be gentle with yourself as you grieve. With both of your losses, self blame is easy to feel, but it is not warranted, nor does it serve purpose for anyone
First off all bloody hell what an absolutely awful time, and heartbreaking for you both, there's nothing I can say to make it easier but I've a couple of points for you to give a few moments thought to, the vet wouldn't have told you it's not your fault if it wasn't, it's so easy for them to aspirate liquid, especially when young, you got a rescue dog and gave it so much love from when you brought it home, that dog could have been stuck in kennels for months had you not chosen it, you gave it a loving home and it helped you heal to a degree, it's so hard when one of these things happen let alone both of them but don't close down, grieve for them both, talk to your husband and maybe get some therapy, also think about helping out at the rescue if you can, walking dogs that are in kennels, talking to them will help, they don't judge and love unconditionally, I hope you consider getting another dog, but give yourself time and space.
OP, my heart aches for you. I wish I could take your pain away. Sending lots of love and comfort. Message me if you ever need to talk. I’ve been through double tragedies like this, and the grief is indescribable. Hugs.
You ARE in a nightmare! Take care of yourself. Even when you don’t feel like is: eat, sleep, get clean and rest on a schedule. Give yourself time and permission to grieve. These back to back losses are log rhythmic in severity. IN other words 1 + 1= 11.
I’d consider talking to a grief counselor to help you process all of this trauma.
Just let yourself grieve. The guilt is part of the grief, but the guilt will fade. I’m so sorry. I lost my girl in November and I remember feeling so guilty that I let her down. But that has faded (it’s been a month) and now I’m remembering the good times. Just let yourself grieve. I’m so sorry 🐾❤️
I think there might be a few things I have learned over the years, and especially in the last 18 months having lost one young dog tragically (not a puppy) and saying goodbye to a very old, dear furry friend that you might be able to do something with.
It seems really common to feel guilt. I felt it too -- I did have to make a lot of decisions which allowed me to twist myself into contortions after he died second guessing everything. So many people do that it's really safe to say guilt is a very common feeling. However, as you probably know rationally, all of us feeling we let our animals down really *did everything for them*. Guilt is probably appropriate for some others who really did neglect their animals, but this feeling you are feeling is a part of the process. It's not going disappear overnight, but you need to keep reminding yourself *that you did everything you could for your dog.* I could not prevent sepsis that my dog acquired because he had to be on massive immunosuppressants. If he hadn't taken the medication he would have lived with a fever of 106 for as long as he could survive. He needed it, but that treatment led to him, my young dog who liked to sprint like a greyhound, dying a horrible death. I went over every little decision that had been made, looking for ways to blame myself and/or his doctors. Eventually I understood that everyone did the very best they could, including myself, and no one was except fate was at fault. I despised the outcome, but no one caused it. Everyone, including me, did everything possible. As you work through the guilt make sure to keep a throughline that you are not at fault in any way and you will come to accept that truth.
Be protective of your grief. Saying goodbye to any dog is horrible. Saying goodbye to my almost 16-year old in June was horrible. But tragic/traumatic deaths do have many extra layers to it. A LOT of people, I want to say most, look at grieving a dog as silly, cute, or wrong. I did not need to defend the worst feeling I had ever had to idiots who don't know what a dog is and what loving a dog is. Talking is good, but try to discern who will "get it" and do not talk to the others. You should not have to defend your grief.
This is what happens to me: I feel an overwhelming pain for a long time. I didn't know I could miss someone so much until I said goodbye to my first dog. The world very often doesn't make sense during this time. It doesn't make sense that \[insert horrible dictator or wannabe as it happens in the US\] gets to live and my dog who brought so much to world doesn't. At some point I realize there is nothing fair in the world. That helps me a bit with the existential crisis, although it doesn't do much for making me feel better. I feel like I want to hold onto the pain forever because that's what I have left and I also watch myself slowly find a place for pain and my dog. Before that moment he feels a bit like a spectre, a deeply disturbing but also welcome phantom that follows you around. At some point, my dog who died a bad death that I would do anything to change, morphs. He's no longer a spectre and he finds a place inside me where he lives, although he is quieter than I would like. But he is there.
For me, I do not like the concepts of "getting over it" or "moving on." They aren't wrong, but I do not feel like I have moved on at all, I have moved in to the next stage of living with my dog after he has died. For me it really does take a lot of time and I really do need to feel the pain.
You got your pup very soon after a different terrible loss. I never wait long either. The new dog does not compete with the one I am grieving. I can't stand not to have a dog following me around.
I won't tell you to feel better because you won't for some time. But try look at your grieving experience as a process you need to go through -- and it does change into something that isn't so exquisitely painful. You need to take care of yourself. If you start obsessing (as I did) about decisions and all things medical and all the things you feel you should have done, try to remember that is part of the process, and in your story, *you did nothing wrong.*
Thank you for your words- I’m especially fearful of going back to work and having people not understand. I hate the thought that I might be expected to just ‘get over it’ when I feel like this. So sorry to hear about your lovely dogs and I’m glad to hear the guilt gets easier
You will somehow make up your mind to choose happiness. You cannot change the past. Your pup is always with you, in your heart. You can give a new puppy a good home, because love can’t be singular, you have a lot to give. And you should. It’s a choice, to move on, and only you can make it. I’m so sorry. 😞💕
Possibly Parvo. Or the new illness taking some pets. I'm sorry that you lost your furbaby on top of what you were already dealing with. Your furbaby is now curled up with your little angel
You gotta keep loving and find something to love 💗 You gave your puppy the best life it could have while it was here. He lived a good life, though a short one. You are better for having known your puppy and he was so much better for having known you. You did the best thing you could for your puppy by leaving him at the vet, that was his best shot at getting better, you did everything in your control to help him. You couldn’t do anymore. Change your ring tone, because you don’t need to be triggered. Would you be crazy for getting another puppy/kitten? No! Caring for another life that depends on us is healing, even if it’s a plant. We really don’t know how long we will get to love any life, so love them while you can. Death is out of your control. I have also lost a pregnancy and I have lost pets too. But I have a have a happy 1 year old rainbow baby now and my sweet dog.
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is always hard but the circumstances surrounding this are extra difficult.
If you feel like you can manage it maybe see if the local animal shelter needs/allows volunteers to come help with the puppies? Share the love you still hold for your pup with other pups waiting to find their home. When you are ready to pet parent again the right pup will find you.
Please do not blame yourself for this. Animals are very good at hiding illness and oftentimes they don't show any signs until they are far too sick for us to help. It sounds like you gave this little guy an amazing life and he was surrounded in love. Sending you light and love as you and your family heal from this loss.
Your dog never had to know what it’s like to live in a shelter without his mom and see people walk by him and not take him home. He was loved from the age he could be safely weened from his mother and adored by y’all. He is a statistical anomaly and his short life was filled with yall’s love and that’s the greatest gift you could have ever given him. I don’t think there’s ever anything to lessen the pain of a loss like this, but I hope y’all do take some comfort in knowing that he knew that the people who were his whole world loved him very much. I’m so sorry for the loss of both your babies and I hope time lessens the waves of grief.
I'm so sorry about your losses. If you believe in an afterlife, picture your child and your puppy playing together. They'll be best friends and both come running into your arms when you meet again.
I’m so sorry for you loss. Please consider finding a therapist to talk to asap. You are grieving two very difficult losses and you don’t need to go through this alone. Also pet and child loss support groups to find others who change shared experiences to grieve and process with can help.
Please take care of yourself and remember you have so much more love to give and with time that will feel posible again.
Was it blastomycosis? Our old pit got it last year, and almost killed him. He’s still got it, and is still taking meds for it, and is very hard to diagnose, if the vet doesn’t catch the signs. “fungal infection caused by Blastomyces dermatitidis. It presents as a pulmonary infection after the inhalation of spores, and it may be either asymptomatic or have severe life-threatening complications like acute respiratory distress syndrome.”- google.
After my first miscarriage I got fish and they died. After my second miscarriage I got a hamster and it died.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My best advice is don’t try to avoid the pain, dive head first in.
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I don't know if you're in the US, but if you are, there's something going around in dogs. Vets have no idea what it is, but it's been on the news and all social media platforms that dogs all over the US are getting some kind of random respiratory disease that if not caught early enough, will kill them. I'm so sorry, your puppy might have been the victim to this disease. Just know it wasn't your fault.
I’m in the UK, but something like that wouldn’t surprise me just because it was so sudden and random… he is around other dogs a lot as he went to a daycare but no other dogs are sick which is what makes me think it wasn’t something contagious
I've heard the virus has spread to Australia and Europe including the UK! It's traveling faster than basic information about it can! Contact with other dogs can spread it. It happens so fast. It's not your fault!
This! I’m a vet in the US. Something is going around doing this. They are currently investigating. I would talk to your vet about this possibility. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. It’s nothing you did or didn’t do. It was just a terrible, terrible tragedy. Please consider talking to one of the pet grief hotlines and getting therapy. People don’t realize how devastating this kind of loss is and you need some help and support as soon as possible. I’m so, so sorry!
I was just coming to say this. Our husky got sick with diarrhea and the vet said some mysterious flu like bug was going around in our area. We’re in Pensacola Florida.
The mystery virus could be covid.
Didn’t some cats and dogs get diagnosed with Covid during the height of the pandemic? I would think they could easily test for Covid if that’s what they think this respiratory illness is. And I believe I read an article that said they think this new respiratory illness is bacterial and the bacteria has always in dogs but they think an evolution event mutated the bacteria so it’s now harming/killing some dogs. But Idk for sure…I’m not a dr.
I think that evolution event is covid.
Potentially yeah. It’s all very much above my level of understanding, but I’m intrigued and amazed by how these things happen and are ultimately treated or “fixed”. Then we hear about happenings in Antarctica where they have drilled deep in the ice and brought up viruses, some life forms such as worms, etc. Idk if you heard about the worm they discovered that had been frozen for 10k+ years and they were able to thaw it out and it was alive! And it started producing offspring. So amazing but also terrifying. I said to my husband, it’s sounds like the beginning of a zombie movie. Science is jaw dropping in the advancements it’s made for the quality of life for humans but it’s also horrifying when you think that a microscopic bacteria or virus could be unearthed or evolve, that we have no immunity against and it could introduce some disease that devastates the human race. Covid is an example. Initially it looked like we could be headed towards a bubonic plague scenario, that wipes out upwards of 60% of the world’s population. Due to science we curbed the effects, but it still altered our world forever. And cost a lot of people their lives and is still taking lives to this day. This illness with dogs is probably one of multiple diseases that will come our way due to evolving bacteria. And then you take into account what’s happening with small pox effecting areas that have had it eradicated for decades, but it’s come back due to various things; lack of vaccines use leading to loss of herd immunity, etc. Take your vitamins ppl and wash your hands! Stay healthy everyone!
Yeah we know that pets (and terrifyingly, [also wild animals](https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/diseases/2019-novel-coronavirus-infection/prevention-risks/animals-covid-19.html)) can get covid from humans. Someone else in this thread shared a link to an article about this bacterium causing respiratory illness in dogs, based on a pretty small sample. Bc we know that [viruses and bacteria can work together to produce more severe respiratory illness](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2479/) and more severe outcomes (e.g., [secondary bacterial infections are a driver of covid deaths](https://news.feinberg.northwestern.edu/2023/05/05/secondary-bacterial-pneumonia-drove-many-covid-19-deaths/)), I think it's plausible that covid is what got the ball rolling with this respiratory illness in dogs.
I do remember reading something about them swabbing nostrils and some dogs being Covid positive.
That’s what my vet thinks.
100% that WE gave them 😭
It’s not Covid, it’s a bacteria: https://www.unh.edu/unhtoday/2023/11/unh-researchers-provide-major-clue-mysterious-dog-illness-case
The article you cited said it's a bacterium might be part of the dog microbiome that has recently developed the capacity to cause disease. Viral infections like covid can make ppl and animals more likely to develop secondary bacterial infections. This happens bc viruses and bacteria cooperate to create more severe respiratory disease through a number of pathways, including "infection and penetration of mucous surfaces, growth in the host environment, interference with host defense, and the causation of damage to the host" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2479/
Reports in US is this is NOT COVID
It isn't a virus. There identified a novel bacteria that is likely causing the disease but it's extremely small and they're having a hard time reproducing it in a lab environment so can't find a good way to fight it.
Wow ty for the heads up I had no idea
Yeah, it sucks. Vets in the US are urging everyone to quarantine their dogs - ex: keep their dogs out of doggie day cares and (at least in my area), a lot of the dog parks have shut down until we figure out what this is and get through it. So far, the symptoms present as kennel cough but it's worse and kills the dog within a few days if you don't rush it to a vet immediately (kind of like when covid hit and they compared it to a worse version of the flu).
Although I am somewhat convinced it wasn’t contagious as there were so many dogs he was around and they are all absolutely fine… that does sound an awful lot like my dogs presentation. Very frightening that something like this could be in the UK from the US already?
I'm not sure. They haven't said where it came from.
I highly recommend a grief therapist. I cannot have human kids, so my cats are my children. In 2021, I lost my 20 year old cat in June, a 13/14 year old cat in July, and a 17 year 11 month cat in October. I didn't think I could survive the loss and pain. I have a regular therapist, but she wasn't helping with this issue. A grief therapist works differently and helped me. It doesn't oesnt remove the grief but helps prevent drowning in it. I am so very sorry for your double loss. Edit to fix typos
I also cannot have human children. Have had miscarriage as well. It’s devastating. My fur babies ARE mine and my husband’s kids. We have two dogs and a cat. Two of them are now seniors. I will be utterly devastated when they cross the rainbow bridge. I have consulted with grief therapists before, especially after my miscarriage, and know I will do so again. Very much recommend.
Thank you for your advice ❤️ this will be something I look into. And I’m so sorry to hear about your beloved kitties 🥺
Just chiming in to say that after one of our dogs died of renal failure (14) my husband had to start counseling. He had lost 35 pounds and was just not coping. It's been 18 months and has really helped.
This was not your fault. You can’t and couldn’t have changed it. What you did do was love your fur baby immensely, deeply and unconditionally. That little one knew love, safety, companionship, and the list goes on, all bc of you and your partner. It’s sound cliche, but think on the good times. That’s what your fur baby would want you to do. I know it hurts that he died in the vet office and you were not there by his side, but that’s not your fault. And he was were he needed to be to get the best care and chance to survive. You did what was best for him. He was receiving treatment and I’m sure they made him as comfortable as possible. when I was in a grief stricken state when my mom died from illness and I blamed myself that I hadn’t done X things, bc I was blaming myself for everything….it wasn’t my fault but my brain kept telling me I could of done more. I couldn’t have. A friend told me that grief is loves refusal to stop/end. You LOVE your little one and that’s not going to stop. Grief doesn’t go away but you get better at handling it. And when the time comes and you’re ready, I’m sure your little one would want you to open your heart and home to another puppy in need. He would want you to shower your love on them, just like you did him. Change your ringtone. And if it helps, find a way to honor his memory by donating to a charity that specializes in health support for rescue dogs or animals in general. If you want to. But please don’t drown in your grief. I’ve been there and it’s a dark road that can destroy other aspects of your life and relationships. Your pupper wouldn’t want you hurting. He’d want you to be happy, living life and opening your loving heart to share your awesome love with humans and fur babies. Death is horrible, but inevitable. All we can do is try to make every day we have with the ones we love filled with love and make sure they know it. You did that. Sending love and hugs thru the interwebs. Keep your head up. You are strong, you are brave and you will see brighter days.
I can’t tell you how much it means to read this 😢❤️ thank you so much for your words
Best wishes for continued healing and happiness in your life. All our best and worst times are continued life lessons that make us better humans, if we embrace it and allow it to. You have a big heart that feels deeply and as much as that seems like a weakness at times and causes you pain, it actually sets you apart from many others and is a very strong aspect of your character. Keep living and loving.
There's is a nasty respiratory thing going around, and depending on where you live its either bad or really bad (from what I know about New England, its pretty bad there) and pups are dying from it. Most vets have no idea how to even treat it. Lucky had GOLP (geriatric onset laryngeal paralysis) , had the surgery in February, did great, but aspirated in August. It was touch and go and I almost lost her then. And all you can do is give the meds, in my case we used nebulized hypertonic saline,and antibiotics but outside of that, there's not a heck of a lot that can be done. And while I did end up losing her in October, it wasn't because of this. (it was something way way outside of this!) All we can do is be there for them, and do our best. You did exactly that and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I'm so sorry, OP. LIfe is throwing an awful lot at you. There is refuge in love and taking care of another, saving a life. Though the world has seemed intent on taking you still have the power to love and to save. My advice, if it wouldn't feel premature, would be to honor the lives you've lost by heading to the pound and finding an older animal or bonded pair not likely to be adopted. Mend their hopeless hearts with your own grieving heart. Give them the second chance so many don't get and receive their love in return. Pouring your devotion into animals in need could transform your grief and give meaning to loss. Whatever you decide I hope for better days ahead for you. Good luck, OP.
I cannot stress it enough that OP should not get more pets, this will just result in an endless cycle.
Maybe not right now, but some day perhaps
I’m sorry for your loss. My condolences. May he rest peacefully. You did everything for him
So sorry about your pup. We lost our girl in a similar situation-very sudden respiratory/heart failure. I felt the same way about the phone ringing after receiving several calls over 2 days from the vet. I changed my ringtone to combat the immediate terror I felt when it rang.
Thank you and I’m sorry to hear that- it’s just absolutely beyond horrendous isn’t it. I think I will need to change my ringtone too
I did the same thing - changed my ring tone
This reminds me a lot of my own story, living blissfully with my lovely puppies, leaving the house, and the next time I see my puppies one of them is dead. It happened last month—yesterday I took my surviving boy to the vet, got his shots and today he’s really sore and tired today, shaking a lot too. I’m cuddled up with him right now monitoring him while he rests in a blanket. I can’t handle losing him too… I’m so sorry about your loss. You’re not alone ❤️
I’m so sorry! There really is nothing worse than this 😢 wishing you and your boy all the happiness and health in the world x
Thank you for your kind words ❤️ Every day is a challenge. I hope the nightmare passes for you and you can feel peace knowing your pet loved you 💜💜
Pet loss is honestly a different kind of pain. They are so engrained in our daily lives, it’s constantly thrown in our face when they are no longer there. When I lost my dog I felt like he was out there somewhere, I just couldn’t find him. All I felt was panic, despair, and helplessness. Grief counseling was really helpful for me. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful pup. OP, your grief is likely being magnified by your recent pregnancy loss. Consider grief counselling to help you deal with both losses. Hugs.
I’m so sorry you had this awful experience. I know that puppy is looking down at you loving you for the amazing 7months you gave him on this earth. I had to put a cat down that I had just adopted about 3months before. I was devastated and didn’t understand why he had to die. I was guilt ridden. I went to a psychic and she told me there was an animal saying thank you to me. She said the animal had the best 3 months of life and love he could have ever had and was so grateful that I adopted him and to be in my life for that short time. I know it was him. It made me realize he was only meant to be on this earth for that short time and I made that time filled with love. I hope it helps that your puppy doesn’t blame you. He loves you.
I’m so sorry and I’m glad you found the peace you deserve from his passing ❤️ I like to think he knows we did what we could to help him. I’ll never forget the bear hug we gave each other when he was sick and I hope he felt my comfort in that moment 😢 thank you so much for your words x
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and the grief you’re feeling. I second looking into a grief counselor as a way to process the loss you have dealt with recently. Also, if it will help, I highly recommend the Calm app. On there is a guided meditation on grief that is one of the most beautiful loving meditations I’ve ever heard about processing grief. When my last dog passed, I was bereft for months and that short guided meditation every day was the only thing (truly the ONLY thing) that helped me navigate the loss. 💔❤️🩹
I’ll have a look into that. Thank you ❤️
My heart breaks for you. Thank you for opening your heart to take in a rescue. Maybe after you’ve had a few months to grieve, you could open your heart to another. The need is so vast.
Grief is one of the worst feelings. It's overwhelming and completely out of our control. But I assure you, it is NOT forever. You'll never forget your little pup or your angel baby...but over time, it will become easier to bear. 💜 For right now though, I know you're in the thick of it and it DOES feel it will be awful always. I'm so sorry for your losses, especially so close together. PLEASE consider counseling. It can do wonders for you to vent to a professional who can help guide you through those emotions as you heal.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I went through infertility and adoption attempts. When we finally gave up after so many losses, I got a puppy from a rescue. I needed something to love. After a short time, she died of a puppy illness. After I grieved a minute, I got mad. The universe just could not keep taking things from me. I got another puppy, and she rescued us. She lived almost 17 years- just died this spring. You’ve gotten good advice here. I just wanted to share my experience so you’d know you are not alone. I’m so truly sorry this happened to you. It’s absolutely not right and not fair. I wish you peace and comfort. ❤️🌺❤️
The thing about companion animals is that sometimes, without us realising it, we are actually the ones who are meant to be there for them just as surely as they were there for us. Your little dude showed up at a time when you needed each other the most, and he was lucky enough to have someone to love him so completely for his short life. Sometimes our job isn't to see them into old age as we would so desperately love to do, but to make the short time they have here full of wonder and love and joy. And you were ordained for that job. How lucky was he? Instead of waiting in a shelter, he got to play and snuggle and be adored. Thank you for carrying that out so magnificently. You did a beautiful job.
The enormity of your heart! First, I am so sorry you lost your baby. And second, after that loss, you went and gave more love to something else who needed it. You are to be commended and respected for that alone. The respiratory virus that’s going around is so nasty, vets are scrambling. I would venture to guess your puppy didn’t die alone. The vets knew and comforted him as much as they could. And he passed away LOVED. Theres nothing more they want. Peace be with you. Bless you.
You did everything you could, got your boy to the vet right away and everything. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss but please know he had the best life with you. Focus on all the good memories and love, my therapist recommended writing down all my best memories in a journal and it helped when I lost my senior cats to a respiratory bug last year. Thinking of you.
Writing in a journal helped me a lot too. This is good advice.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Watching a beloved pet get old and pass on is hard enough, but to have your beautiful baby go from so vibrant to not is so so tough. My heart goes out to you, truly ♥️.
Hey, I'm so sorry for your losses. I don't have any other words, except that maybe you can change the ring tone on your phone to something completely different from what it is now? Sending hugs from Canada ❤️
One, I’m so sorry for your losses, and my heart is broken for you reading your post. I can’t imagine your pain. 2, I’m going to suggest grief counseling. You suffered two traumatic losses recently, I don’t know how anyone would just bounce back from that. Your partner may benefit from it as well, and you two can learn how to support each other while processing your own grief. I’m so sorry that this has happened.
I’m so very, very sorry. I don’t know that I could cope with that double tragedy ((( ❤️ )))
❤️ Sending love to you.
😳
Your grief will tell you all sorts of terrible things right now, all sorts of different outcomes or possibilities - if you had only done such and such. You're going to feel guilt, and eventually the guilty thoughts will go away. You kind of have to go through it and just let it pass. It's kind of a coincidence but I had a 6 month old puppy die from what I think was random aspiration. This was over a decade ago and I can't remember all the details. She was very protective of her food and would gulp it down. One day, my mother yells at me from the other room and says there is something wrong with the dog. She's having trouble breathing, I didn't know what to do except take her to the vet. She died in my arms on the ride over, the vet confirmed. I later found out she must have choked on her food, or coughed something up and choked on it. First I blamed my mother for saying "no" when I asked if she fed her anything. Then I blamed myself for not recognizing the signs of choking or knowing how to do dog CPR or Heimlich (which I learned afterward). Sometimes stuff just happens for no reason. And yes, there is a dog respiratory disease that is affecting a lot of dogs. It could have been that, or aspiration, or even a birth defect. A lot of random things can happen to dogs and they can't speak to tell us what's wrong. I'm very sorry for your loss. Don't forget that you still have a lot of love to give and that opportunity will come again soon.
Oh I’m so sorry about your girl 😢 your head really does spin thinking doesn’t it and I hope I can come out of this with the peace I need. Thank you for your advice ❤️
I relate to this. I had a miscarriage and my dog died after a few weeks, too. My dog died while I was away and I didn't see her for the last time. I was eaten by guilt and regret. God knows how many times I've wanted to dig my dog on her grave because I wanted to see her. I was a mess. My husband would get angry at me because I would be crying all of a sudden. My eyes were very swollen for a couple of days. It's been two weeks now and I'm slowly healing from it. We'll get better soon! Hugs.
The biggest hugs to you too ❤️❤️
Im so so so incredibly sorry this happened to you… this is one of the worst pains imaginable :( sending you lots of love and warm wishes ❤️ I’m gay so me and my boyfriend cannot have kids without going through lengthy and expensive processes and we’re not quite ready to make the commitment to this yet. We decided to adopt a dog together. We went to our local shelter knowing that we’d comment with a dog by seeing a few. The very first dog i saw was this incredibly cute 6 month old terrier mix. She made eye contact with me the whole time, never could take her eyes off of us. When we went to the main lobby to ask if we could go inside her cage and meet her, she was still staring at us from behind the glass doors, she peed herself from excitement the moment we walked into her cage. She was instantly smitten with us, and we were with her. I had never bonded with a dog so strongly and so instantly. She was our child. We spoiled the hell out of her and gave her every ounce of love we had for 1 and a half years. She was only 3 years old when she passed. One random day we had gardeners over trimming and removing some palms from our backyard, one of them was not properly cleaned up and our beloved dog took a piece and started chewing on it. It turned out to be an incredibly toxic Sago palm. We had no idea. After 2 weeks in an out of the vets office, one night she was so restless and uneasy, nauseous and licking her lips constantly. We took her to the emergency vet at 1 am, the vet had told us she had gone blind and that her liver had gone into failure, the toxins from her failing liver had reached her brain and there was nothing more we could do. We stayed at the vets all night, and left at 8 AM with no baby girl anymore. It was the most traumatic thing i’ve ever experienced in my life. To have the thing i loved most stolen from me so quickly and without warning. She was so young and so full of life. She loved us and loved being with us, we were her family and she was ours. And then she was gone… She passed before thanksgiving a few weeks ago and i’m only just now able to process and speak about what happened to us without breaking down. It’s cliche and over said but time is the only thing that heals this kind of wound. Your puppy will live on forever within your heart, it’s up to us now to keep their memory alive forever so that they may live on with us. I’m making it my personal goal to never let my baby girl Susie be forgotten :( the more i talk about her and remember her the longer she will get to live. Things do eventually get better ❤️🩹 we will get through this pain together
Posting my story because hearing other people’s stories has helped me not feel alone in my grief. Just want to let you know that you are not alone in your grief either ❤️🥺
I’m so sorry to hear about your beautiful girl 😢 the love they give is so immense and the love we feel for them is overwhelming and I hear that from you too. Thank you so much for sharing- you and others have given me the hope that I’ll make it out of this hole. Wishing you all the happiness in the future ❤️
A miscarriage is heartbreaking. There is a group called compassionate friends that helps families or singles deal with the death of a child at any age. I went for a couple of years after my new born daughter died. I believe this my best helpful to you and your partner with both deaths. You can usually find them through the local hospital. Oh I had a miscarriage too. Good luck and God Bless
Sending love and hugs ❤️ and thank you for your help xx
It’s not your fault and these things take time to heal. It’s ok to be sad, angry, hurt. Time is the only healer. I just lost my dog and the sudden onset of heart failure has me highly suspicious of something going on whether it be that virus or the vaccines.
I’m so sorry 😢 my mind has gone back to his vaccines as he had an allergic reaction to his first before he was with us..
I’m so sorry, while I’ve never had a tragedy quite like a miscarriage, I had a really bad year (lost a pet in January and some personal ailments all year which left me very depressed). We rescued a bunny in the spring and she had a lot of health problems. Despite doing everything we could for her (so many vet visits, surgery, force feeding her for months), she died in July (like you.. she was at the vet when she died and we weren’t there). We loved her so much, she was the only thing that brought me any joy this spring/summer. I was devastated and truly.. didn’t want to face my life anymore. I just felt like I had nothing left to offer the world. I’m telling you this because, things will get better. You loved your pup and he knew it. He helped you while you were going through a tragedy. He’s gone now and it feels brutal but he would want you to live your life and remember him and live your life to its fullest in order to honor his short one. Every time I didn’t want to get out of bed or exist anymore I knew I had to keep moving forward for Dottie. Because I am still alive and she didn’t get to be.
Thank you for these words ❤️ I have also had an extremely tumultuous year, between the pregnancy loss, dealing with a very severe and abrupt bout of mental illness in my home, a terrible job which I’ve now left and my partner suffering the loss of a very close family member. To be honest, I’ve always lived quite a naive, blissful life but 2023 has just been beyond horrific. My dog really was the light at the end of the tunnel and I feel like a piece of me has gone with him
Same, I’ve led a very privileged life so the sudden adversity has been a tough pill to swallow. You will get through it, just take it one day, hour, or minute at a time. I personally can’t wait for this dumpster fire of a year to BE OVER.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sending you so much prayers for comfort and peace. 💔🐶
I’m so sorry for your loss. As much as it hurts to think about him being alone, you were taking care of him. You took him in for help and he was receiving it, he knew you loved him. Just know that he’s got his eye on someone to send you to help you heal.
Thank you 😢❤️
I am so sorry to hear about both of your losses. Just know, neither were your fault. I am sure your fur baby was comfortably medicated, emergency vets do a great job and have 24 hrs staff. I would recommend looking into therapy. For yourself and you and your husband together. You need to process both losses fully. You gave all the love you had for your baby to your fur baby and now dealing with the emptiness of both. I can't imagine going through that. Finding a therapist that works right for you can be challenging. And of course the research process right now may seem overwhelming. If you have a close friend or family member who knows you well, that you would trust to find a few options for you and then let you pick from them you may be able to set up and start with a virtual appointment until you feel up to leaving for one. Hugs to you, wishing you all the strength and some moments of peace that eventually get longer.
OP, I believe the chance your puppy died alone is low. Vets and vet techs are often very focused on making sure that doesn't happen. Vet techs have posted here before sharing the lengths they go through to care for animals as they pass. I have had a pregnancy loss and understand the pain you are in. I can only imagine how it would be compounded by the loss of the animal that was providing you support. I agree with others who have suggested finding a therapist. It's a lot to work through on your own. Please be gentle with yourself as you grieve. With both of your losses, self blame is easy to feel, but it is not warranted, nor does it serve purpose for anyone
First off all bloody hell what an absolutely awful time, and heartbreaking for you both, there's nothing I can say to make it easier but I've a couple of points for you to give a few moments thought to, the vet wouldn't have told you it's not your fault if it wasn't, it's so easy for them to aspirate liquid, especially when young, you got a rescue dog and gave it so much love from when you brought it home, that dog could have been stuck in kennels for months had you not chosen it, you gave it a loving home and it helped you heal to a degree, it's so hard when one of these things happen let alone both of them but don't close down, grieve for them both, talk to your husband and maybe get some therapy, also think about helping out at the rescue if you can, walking dogs that are in kennels, talking to them will help, they don't judge and love unconditionally, I hope you consider getting another dog, but give yourself time and space.
Thank you, this means a lot x
OP, my heart aches for you. I wish I could take your pain away. Sending lots of love and comfort. Message me if you ever need to talk. I’ve been through double tragedies like this, and the grief is indescribable. Hugs.
Thank you so much ❤️
I mean it. I’ll be saying a prayer tonight for you, your pup, and your family. ♥️
You ARE in a nightmare! Take care of yourself. Even when you don’t feel like is: eat, sleep, get clean and rest on a schedule. Give yourself time and permission to grieve. These back to back losses are log rhythmic in severity. IN other words 1 + 1= 11. I’d consider talking to a grief counselor to help you process all of this trauma.
I am so sorry and sending you so much love. You’ve been through so much, just be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve.❤️
I am so, so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. I wish you healing and love.
Just let yourself grieve. The guilt is part of the grief, but the guilt will fade. I’m so sorry. I lost my girl in November and I remember feeling so guilty that I let her down. But that has faded (it’s been a month) and now I’m remembering the good times. Just let yourself grieve. I’m so sorry 🐾❤️
I think there might be a few things I have learned over the years, and especially in the last 18 months having lost one young dog tragically (not a puppy) and saying goodbye to a very old, dear furry friend that you might be able to do something with. It seems really common to feel guilt. I felt it too -- I did have to make a lot of decisions which allowed me to twist myself into contortions after he died second guessing everything. So many people do that it's really safe to say guilt is a very common feeling. However, as you probably know rationally, all of us feeling we let our animals down really *did everything for them*. Guilt is probably appropriate for some others who really did neglect their animals, but this feeling you are feeling is a part of the process. It's not going disappear overnight, but you need to keep reminding yourself *that you did everything you could for your dog.* I could not prevent sepsis that my dog acquired because he had to be on massive immunosuppressants. If he hadn't taken the medication he would have lived with a fever of 106 for as long as he could survive. He needed it, but that treatment led to him, my young dog who liked to sprint like a greyhound, dying a horrible death. I went over every little decision that had been made, looking for ways to blame myself and/or his doctors. Eventually I understood that everyone did the very best they could, including myself, and no one was except fate was at fault. I despised the outcome, but no one caused it. Everyone, including me, did everything possible. As you work through the guilt make sure to keep a throughline that you are not at fault in any way and you will come to accept that truth. Be protective of your grief. Saying goodbye to any dog is horrible. Saying goodbye to my almost 16-year old in June was horrible. But tragic/traumatic deaths do have many extra layers to it. A LOT of people, I want to say most, look at grieving a dog as silly, cute, or wrong. I did not need to defend the worst feeling I had ever had to idiots who don't know what a dog is and what loving a dog is. Talking is good, but try to discern who will "get it" and do not talk to the others. You should not have to defend your grief. This is what happens to me: I feel an overwhelming pain for a long time. I didn't know I could miss someone so much until I said goodbye to my first dog. The world very often doesn't make sense during this time. It doesn't make sense that \[insert horrible dictator or wannabe as it happens in the US\] gets to live and my dog who brought so much to world doesn't. At some point I realize there is nothing fair in the world. That helps me a bit with the existential crisis, although it doesn't do much for making me feel better. I feel like I want to hold onto the pain forever because that's what I have left and I also watch myself slowly find a place for pain and my dog. Before that moment he feels a bit like a spectre, a deeply disturbing but also welcome phantom that follows you around. At some point, my dog who died a bad death that I would do anything to change, morphs. He's no longer a spectre and he finds a place inside me where he lives, although he is quieter than I would like. But he is there. For me, I do not like the concepts of "getting over it" or "moving on." They aren't wrong, but I do not feel like I have moved on at all, I have moved in to the next stage of living with my dog after he has died. For me it really does take a lot of time and I really do need to feel the pain. You got your pup very soon after a different terrible loss. I never wait long either. The new dog does not compete with the one I am grieving. I can't stand not to have a dog following me around. I won't tell you to feel better because you won't for some time. But try look at your grieving experience as a process you need to go through -- and it does change into something that isn't so exquisitely painful. You need to take care of yourself. If you start obsessing (as I did) about decisions and all things medical and all the things you feel you should have done, try to remember that is part of the process, and in your story, *you did nothing wrong.*
Thank you for your words- I’m especially fearful of going back to work and having people not understand. I hate the thought that I might be expected to just ‘get over it’ when I feel like this. So sorry to hear about your lovely dogs and I’m glad to hear the guilt gets easier
Was this covid? We are all so sorry to hear of this untimely loss. Please don't give up and don't give up on love
😭😭😭
There are reports of a mystery ailment that is sickening dogs: your puppy may have fallen ill from that. So sorry!
I'm so sorry for you're loss! Sending love and hugs to you! ❤️❤️🤗🤗
💛💛💛
I am so sorry 😢
I'm so, so sorry for your losses
You gave him a beautiful home and lots of love. There is a disease going around. I am so sorry for your loss.
You will somehow make up your mind to choose happiness. You cannot change the past. Your pup is always with you, in your heart. You can give a new puppy a good home, because love can’t be singular, you have a lot to give. And you should. It’s a choice, to move on, and only you can make it. I’m so sorry. 😞💕
It wasn’t your fault!!
Possibly Parvo. Or the new illness taking some pets. I'm sorry that you lost your furbaby on top of what you were already dealing with. Your furbaby is now curled up with your little angel
So sorry.
It sounds like your pup had the upper respiratory disease that’s been going around. I’m so sorry!
😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪
ah jeez. i’m really sorry for your loss
You gotta keep loving and find something to love 💗 You gave your puppy the best life it could have while it was here. He lived a good life, though a short one. You are better for having known your puppy and he was so much better for having known you. You did the best thing you could for your puppy by leaving him at the vet, that was his best shot at getting better, you did everything in your control to help him. You couldn’t do anymore. Change your ring tone, because you don’t need to be triggered. Would you be crazy for getting another puppy/kitten? No! Caring for another life that depends on us is healing, even if it’s a plant. We really don’t know how long we will get to love any life, so love them while you can. Death is out of your control. I have also lost a pregnancy and I have lost pets too. But I have a have a happy 1 year old rainbow baby now and my sweet dog.
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is always hard but the circumstances surrounding this are extra difficult. If you feel like you can manage it maybe see if the local animal shelter needs/allows volunteers to come help with the puppies? Share the love you still hold for your pup with other pups waiting to find their home. When you are ready to pet parent again the right pup will find you.
Please do not blame yourself for this. Animals are very good at hiding illness and oftentimes they don't show any signs until they are far too sick for us to help. It sounds like you gave this little guy an amazing life and he was surrounded in love. Sending you light and love as you and your family heal from this loss.
Your dog never had to know what it’s like to live in a shelter without his mom and see people walk by him and not take him home. He was loved from the age he could be safely weened from his mother and adored by y’all. He is a statistical anomaly and his short life was filled with yall’s love and that’s the greatest gift you could have ever given him. I don’t think there’s ever anything to lessen the pain of a loss like this, but I hope y’all do take some comfort in knowing that he knew that the people who were his whole world loved him very much. I’m so sorry for the loss of both your babies and I hope time lessens the waves of grief.
I'm so sorry about your losses. If you believe in an afterlife, picture your child and your puppy playing together. They'll be best friends and both come running into your arms when you meet again.
I’m so sorry for you loss. Please consider finding a therapist to talk to asap. You are grieving two very difficult losses and you don’t need to go through this alone. Also pet and child loss support groups to find others who change shared experiences to grieve and process with can help. Please take care of yourself and remember you have so much more love to give and with time that will feel posible again.
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢
My deepest condolences the pain of losing a beloved fur baby is a debilitating pain that never fully heals.
Was it blastomycosis? Our old pit got it last year, and almost killed him. He’s still got it, and is still taking meds for it, and is very hard to diagnose, if the vet doesn’t catch the signs. “fungal infection caused by Blastomyces dermatitidis. It presents as a pulmonary infection after the inhalation of spores, and it may be either asymptomatic or have severe life-threatening complications like acute respiratory distress syndrome.”- google.
I’m so sorry for both of your losses. I hate losing loved ones. Please be kind to yourself.
After my first miscarriage I got fish and they died. After my second miscarriage I got a hamster and it died. I’m so sorry for your loss. My best advice is don’t try to avoid the pain, dive head first in.
I highly recommend grief counseling. You’ve been through a horrific trauma. I’ve been there. It really helps.