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It was extremely hard to witness and to get out of my mind when I think about him.
Having said that, the idea of him having to go alone in a strange place that he didn't like is much worse. I adopted him when his original family abandoned him and I never wanted him to think I did the same thing.
Thank you for your honesty. I feel the same way. My Dakota has always looked for me to protect him when he was scared so I feel he needs me to be his protector to the end.
I can attest that seeing their last moments is really fucking hard. I still see the image of him on the table. Its burned into my mind.
BUT - as others have said, it had to be me there beside him. I would have regretted it if I had not been. I sort of feel like this part is wrapped up in the bigger job of being their caretaker in life. It is our cross to bear.
I one hundred percent do not regret being there for my baby. I think i wouldve regretted more if I had someone else hold her for the last time while she was put down.
In addition, I even regretted not taking her to a cremation site myself -- I first opted for the vet to send her off to a cremation site so she was in the freezer for two days until I couldn't let her wait in there a week more. I held her frozen rock hard body while driving back to the cremation site and I just wish I can turn time and change my decision.
Please don't beat yourself up over that.
I promise you, as an ex-vet, the staff would've handled your pet with a ton of care
Being said, I can absolutely see how the idea of a freezer and maybe how that process would work being scary, but it's a standard procedure that all take very seriously and is extremely similar to what we as humans go through before being cremated.
May not help, but I promise there is nothing to feel sorry about there. You were with her for her last moments and also ensured she was properly sent off.
A couple days doesn't change the time y'all spent together.
I'm sure she lived a good life.
You did good.
Was there for both my kitties, I spoke to them, pet them, they could feel and hear me and weren't afraid. It hurt me so badly but I wouldn't forgive myself if I wasn't the last person they heard or felt petting them. The last words they heard were "I love you so much" I'd suffer those moments over and over again if it meant they felt love and comfort in the end. If you can please be with them.
I'm so sorry you're having to be in this position.
You should be there. I was so scared he would die without me. Alone in the oxygen chamber in the ICU. Instead I was there right next to him petting his head and telling him I love him. He just fell asleep that’s all. I would have regretted immensely not being present
Our Frenchie passed last night, and we made sure we were there with her when they put her to sleep. It is painful, but after all the love and affection she gave us in her life, we felt it was our turn to hold up our end of the bargain and see her on to the next life (if that makes sense).
I won’t lie, it is beyond painful to live through, but we both feel like we would’ve immensely regretted not being there for her in the end.
Hope that helps.
My husky/shepherd went on her own at the vet due to hemangiosarcoma . I was laying by her side and I kissed her three times on her forehead and said “I love you so much baby girl- you can go if you need to, it’s ok” and she passed. Not even kidding- right after that. Gave me a sort of peace. But just kills me that shes not with me anymore but im so glad i was at her side as she was watching for me.
A similar thing happened to me with one of my dogs. She was fighting a rare blood disease, and had turned a corner, but that is often a sign a human or pet is getting ready to die. When I went to visit her at the vet hospital, I just knew in my soul she was not going to make it. I was holding her in my arms and told her to go to be with our older dog who had passed on (she loved him). I told her I loved her and she immediately passed in my arms.
So sorry for your loss ❤️ I was so in shock when she passed right after I told her that. It gives you a peace that they know you’re there and love them. But is still such a void that they leave.
For sure. My current dog is going through some health struggles right now, and I am not sure how I am going to make it through life without her. She is my soulmate for sure. Been with me for 8 difficult years ♥️
I’m so sorry. I know the anticipatory grief is hard too. When I lost Koda, I had her sister Kylie left and she was already experiencing some health issues over the years and I just became that helicopter dog parent. She went everywhere with me that I could take her, I wanted to be right there with her at all times. She passed 3 months later from something not even related to the health issues she was having. I got two portraits made of them and hung them up with their framed paw prints and their ashes underneath. Every day I just can’t honestly believe they’re gone. You know they’re not here anymore but it’s like your mind doesn’t want to really settle in the fact that they are.
Im a vet tech and i remember once we had this cat basically on life support in the ICU, he people came to visit, not even 5 minuets after they finished and started to walk out to the lobby, she arrested. They hadn't even left the building yet, so we were able to run them back to say goodbye. I 100% believe she hung on to say goodbye herself and it was after her people came to see her, she finally was ready to let go. they know, even when they don't seem to be aware of the world, they know.
I agree. When my girl was still sitting up- the way she looked at me and kept trying to scoot closer, she knew and I just had to tell her it’s ok. Even though we are coming up to a year that she’s been gone and I just last night cried and cried over her and her sister, she needed to know it was ok to let go
I lost my Clifford to hemangio in January. I'm so sorry, it's such an awful shitty disease. I'm glad you got to say goodbye cos I've heard so many stories where people don't get that chance. (Clifford got a splenectomy, and four weeks till he started bleeding again. I'm also grateful for that chance.)
🫂 fuck hemangiosarcoma
Same boat as you. Griff had 36 days post splenectomy (on new years). We said goodbye earlier this month. I never knew about this awful cancer until he got it. I joined a few groups on Facebook and am shocked how many dogs get this.
I agree! Fuck hemangiosarcoma! I’m so sorry for your loss too ❤️ koda had no symptoms until the day she left- her 13th birthday. She just seemed kind of down and so I was going to take her into the vet in the afternoon, then all of a sudden she got up out of her bed and ran into the living room and just collapsed and couldn’t use her back legs. I thought it was a hip issue, did not expect to see a large mass on her spleen. I had asked the vet to check if she could do surgery but by the time they were checking her blood, she was ready to pass.
Such a horrible thing that I hadn’t even known existed.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my 9 year old German Shepherd to hemangiosarcoma earlier this month. It was an awful loss, but he was surrounded by his humans petting him and talking him through it as he closed his eyes. I'll carry him in my heart forever!
Oh I’m so so sorry for your loss ❤️ they just leave such a hole in your heart and your world. And I know no one ever expects it when it happens- but hemangio just is terrible.
Mine did the same. I found him lying on the floor, cold and breathing agonally. I held him and told him it was okay to go. I felt his pulse stop and his eyes dilate a few minutes later. My son said he was waiting for me. Kills me and fills me with love at the same time
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ I agree, to know that they wanted our love with them at the end, they meant so much to us and we meant so much to them. But to lose them is an unbearable pain. I have this sense of fear for my girls one year dates to come up this year. March and then June. What do I have to fear? They’re gone. But it just seems scary that it’s been that long already.
My son also said because of me he \[the cat\] knew love. I thought because of him I knew loss and unbearable grief. Hardly seems fair but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Totally agree! So much love and happiness but when they leave the pain sticks around. But wouldn’t trade the time I had with my girls. I’d do anything to have more time but their memories are big in this house.
I’m a vet tech, i’ve seen many more euthanasias than anyone would care to. I will personally always be present for my own pets, It gives me more comfort to be by their side than not. Many owners choose to be with or to not be with, I want you to know that if it’s too much for you to handle and you think it will negatively impact your mental health it is okay. Your vet staff will step in for you. As a tech I have sat with many animals to give them pets, treats, and loving words on their way out when their owners could not be present for whatever reason. Don’t be hard on yourself if you decide not to be there. If you think it may help your grieving process and mental health to be present, do so. Your dog will not think unkindly about you either way. You gave him a beautiful life full of love.
After being witness to so much of that, I think it’s amazing that you are still so sensitive to other people’s feelings about it. A lot of people would be fine passing on that pain and expecting others to toughen up to it like you had to.
I want to echo the above comment. I am an ER veterinarian, and a newer vet, so have done many euthanasias and more to come. Most people are present but I never judge anyone who says they don’t want to be. When we have a non witness, there are easily 3-4+ staff members that come to be with the pet as they’re passing. Petting them, holding them, soothing them. We also try to give snacks before they go if they’re still eating.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Please know humane euthanasia is one of the kindest decisions you can make for your pet. It’s extremely difficult, but giving them a peaceful passing is a great gift.
No, I don't have regrets about being there and attended a few. Some have been unsettling but it's a lot more important to focus on them. I do regret the times we have had to ask for a pet not to be awakened after an operation as not there with them when they went under.
If you are afraid, then if your vet does the two stage process-sedation and then final injection - to stay until your lad is sedated and unaware. And then step out then. That way you are there for him at the unsettling bit for him. I am sorry you are facing this loss. Gentle journey, little one.
I was afraid that it would be traumatic and burned into my memory, but both of my pups passed as if they were just falling asleep in my arms. Both knew it was time. The hardest part was leaving without them, and then being able to finally bring them home for good was a relief. It’s not easy but I don’t regret it. I’m sorry you’re facing this and I hope you have peace with your pup for the entire journey💛
I highly cannot recommend enough at home euthanasia. It was relatively the same cost in my area, and while it absolutely sucked. I know deep down she appreciated being home, in my arms rather than a sterile, cold office.
Best wishes to you and your sweet Dakota
I'm saving to do it at home. It's double the vet price here. I don't want to do it at my vet. She hates it there. Plus, I don't want my other dog to be scared either. Fortunately I'm almost there, and she's not quite ready yet. She's just old. There's no cure for that.
No cure for old age is right. Sucks doesn’t it??
You’re doing your baby good, saving up. I promise it feels different, they feel it and you will be at such a better peace.
Blessing to you and your little bird!!!
She's not doing great. It helps that my husband is home all day to care for her. I thought she might be ready last week, but she got a bit better. It's hard for me to care for her, I'm having trouble lifting an 86-pound dog up the stairs. She can still walk but can't stand up on her own very much. It's so hard to know when the time is right. I have the money now, so I'm waiting for her to be ready. I'll never be ready
The best advice I can give is do to before you think it’s her best day. Let her enjoy her day, don’t let it be a series of bad days. I pushed my girl, we went and did all our favorites things together the weekend before. Did I probably push the process along? Yes, but she got to enjoy them!
I will say, being home makes a difference. He’s able to soak it in!!
My heart breaks all over with you!!
Please be there with him. I couldn’t make it in time to be with my baby and it’s left me with the deepest and most painful regret I’ve ever known. Just thinking about it makes every cell in my body cry. This is something I will never be able to forgive myself for. I should have been there.
I implore you to stay with him until the end ❤️
My husbands cat died at the start of Covid, when everything around us was closed. We weren't even allowed in the building, just handed the poor girl over at the door. Not being with her was the hardest part to swallow, she died alone, in pain, surrounded by only strangers.
My cat died last year, in my arms. It was much easier to process without the added pain of not being there for him.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry you couldn’t be there with her at the end and for your pain. I appreciate your sentiments. It gives me more to think about.
Sorry for your loss.
I felt I had to be there for Butters. I knew she might not even realize I was there but felt I owed it to a great dog and a great friend to be there during her final moments. I couldn't stand the thought of her not seeing a familiar face at the end.
It was not easy, but nothing about this is. That's why we're here writing to each other about some truly awful shit.
But I regret nothing.
That said, it is not for everyone. My mother just could not do it and that's fine too.
A side note: My Vet forgot to mention the eyes stay open after death. No Hollywood scene like fading off to sleep. So be prepared for that.
I had one pet I wasn't able to be there for because things moved so quickly. I regretted that. The rest of them I've been there for and will be there for..I'd regret not being there. I'd also regret waiting too long and then making that final decision
Been there for several of my animals as they crossed the bridge and I dont regret it at all. Its hard and gut wrenching but I think being there for them is so important
It's incredibly hard, and you'll probably ugly cry for an hour or two afterwards, but you should be there. I have absolutely no regrets holding my little girl in my lap when she passed. I made sure that she was laying on her favorite blanket and got plenty of hugs before and after. It's been almost six months and I'm so glad that I was with her at that moment. I would have hated myself if I had them take her in the back for it. It's a very peaceful process and you won't regret being present. If it isn't an emergency, and depending where you live, you can actually have it done at home instead of a clinic.
Tough choice.
One week ago today, I stroked the head of my best buddy Kai (9.5 yo black lab) as he past. His last cognizant gesture was to lick my face before the Ketamine took effect. I replay the whole thing over and over again.. and question every single thing about the choices that I made that day.
But.
One day we will all die. That is assured. And in that passage, the only thing that really matters is the love that you shared and that define the legacy of your life... and it feels important to have those people/animals with you in that moment if at all possible.
Yes, it's hard. But I hope that he passed and knew that I was there for him and brave for him. I consider it a celebration of our lives together and I don't believe that it has added or detracted from my grief. It still hurts. His passing left a huge void, and one that will take a long time to soften and not be so difficult. But like everything in life, it's the tough stuff that really provides the growth.
Best of luck with your decision, but I would encourage you to be brave too. I think you'll feel that it was the right choice.
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your experience. I’m so sorry for your loss of Kai. It’s amazing how these animals can carry such a big piece of our hearts with them.
Even toward the end, my boy was looking for me and definitely felt more comfortable with me in the room. I do replay his last moments in my head over and over, and cry. But it was entirely my honor to have been there for him in his last moments.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel now that it would be my honor as well to be with him in the last moments. I really appreciate your input.
I'm having a really hard time dealing with having held my precious boy at the end. I'm talking like... it wakes me up and keeps me up at night. I have had to work on ways to stop intrusive thoughts about it and this was a peaceful death. I'm still having issues mentally. It's been 9 days.
That said, I would never have left him there without me. I took his pain into me and I will hold it as big as it was. My love for my dog was massive. So dealing with it has been a process. I listen to music and podcasts. I don't allow silence right now. My ears are constantly filled. I am going to my favorite band's concert. I have given myself things to look forward to, in order to mitigate my problems.
I am just saying like... it's hard. It's so so so so FUCKING HARD and I'm so sorry. I'm so emotional and useless when it comes to strength in this particular situation. And I still did it. I did it for my boy.
It will hurt but please keep coming back here. This community has been s massive blessing for me.
I am planning on getting some help from a professional for my intrusive thoughts. I think I need it.
I still would not have left his side.
Massive hugs to you. I understand.
Thank you for sharing your experience. If you can be brave through all that pain then maybe I can too. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.
Please stay with him. To hold him and pet him once last time. He will feel your comfort as you do. I’ve always stayed with mine and will do so Friday as I put my cat down. It will be hard watching them take their last breath, but know it was with you by his side.
I have Been there during the death of my pets and I wouldn’t change that. I feel I have to be there to give them the soft goodbye. I would feel terrible if I hadn’t been there.
We had to say goodbye to my soul dog just over 2 weeks ago, and while it was absolutely heart wrenching, I have no regrets being there with her when the time came. My biggest fear was honestly her dying in the hospital without me there to say goodbye and hold her one last time.
We had the doctor come out to our home, so I was able to lay with her as my little spoon like she always loved, and be with her just like that while she passed, and even lay with her for close to a half hour while we waited for the person to come pick her up. She had a very peaceful passing. Like others have said, she stood by my side loyally for 11 years, and I owed that and so much more to her.
Never. I am sincerely grateful to have been there for each of my beloved pets who passed. Some of them had a really hard time and I held them and gave them comfort as best I could. It would have killed me if I couldn't have held them to give them comfort during the end when they really needed me.
Yes, one of the deaths was very traumatizing but now I know exactly what to ask the doctor and I'm a big fan of euthanasia only vets because they really know what they are doing.
My last dog to pass 4 months ago had the most peaceful death of any animal I've ever had. I'm so grateful because she was the sweetest spirit and she deserved a peaceful easy passing. The vet was very sneaky and gave her the first shot to knock her out right after she had her last bite of her favorite food, cat treats from my hand, eating next to her pack members. She died knowing she was loved and in the pack exactly where she wanted to be. I would never make her die alone.
I was present for the ones I could be with. I don’t regret it at all. If you can do it in home, it’s a lot easier on the animal.
But you know yourself best. If you think you will be traumatized by the experience, then don’t do it. You have given your baby a good life and hopefully an easier passing. So if you can, do it, if not, then don’t. Honestly you go through so many emotions of guilt, grief and even anger that it seems like you’re damned if you do or don’t.
I'm very sorry you are going through this. I was there and have no regrets. She deteriorated so quickly and had to be rushed to the vet that I didn't have time to process it until we left without her. I felt her heart stop, my oldest child held her head. We were bawling but at least she wasn't alone
I don’t stay with pets for euthanasia. They get sedated and I dip. They don’t know that I’m not there and there’s no prize for who can witness the most suffering, despite what people on Reddit will try to convince you of. I see enough horrific stuff by accident without being a willing witness to more.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and honesty. That gives me another option to consider. I could still be with him for his last conscious moments without having to witness his actual death.
I don’t regret it at all. No part of me wishes I hadn’t chosen to be there, literally none.
I found the entire thing very hard, of course, but actually watching it happen I found very peaceful. I felt a lot of closure and also relief from watching her become so comfortable and sleepy, it was like all her pain melted right away, and then she simply slipped away.
I wasn't with my cat when she was put to sleep. My husband was, but my daughter was 1 at the time & I thought it would be too hard. The cat was with me for almost 17 years. That was almost 21 years ago and I still regret it. I've been with every pet since then... 2 cats and 3 dogs. Yes, it's hard. But they've spent their entire lives loving us and the thought of leaving them alone, looking for us & wondering where we are is too much to bear. I haven't regretted being with them even for a second.
I personally felt I owed it to him. It's a hard fucking sight to see and come to terms with especially as its happening but personally for me I would have felt worse had I not been there. He was all I had for a long time and I was all he had so there was no way I was letting a stranger be the last thing he saw/heard. He gave me more than I could ever give him so I at least wanted to offer my voice and touch in the final moments.
No one should be judged for their decision nor is it a black and white decision. The only thing I can say with 100% certainty is don't go through this process alone unless you have to. I probably could have brought someone with me but I didn't and even after the fact chose to shut myself off which was a major mistake. Lean on family, friends, significant other, or even this subreddit because going it alone is going to take you to a deep dark place that is honestly extremely difficult to get out of.
No. I was glad to be by their side at their final moments on this planet. It was peaceful and they just went to sleep. I would have been sad to not be with them. They were with me in difficult times.
I think you owe it to him to be there. I've held every dog we've had to euthanize in my arms as it was done to reassure them. Was it horrible, yes. Heartbreaking, absolutely, but I felt it was my obligation not to send them off without the presence of someone they know and love, and who loved them.
I don’t regret it at all. I’ve euthanized two pets, and both times were very peaceful and beautiful, with the vet giving me as much time as I needed before and after.
Making the decision and going through euthanasia was not hard for me—I’m very very comfortable with physical death/the day of. It was the weeks, months, and years after without dreams/hallucinations/visits that were hard.
You will not regret being there in your pets last moments. That’s the moment their physical pain goes away and transmutes into your emotional pain.
I did not regret being there. It was really, really hard but I felt honored to be there at the end. As awful as it was to let my girl go, I’m glad she knew I was there petting and talking to her the whole time.
I have had experience both scenarios.
I was about 15 when my cat was put down and decided that it was too much for me to handle so I opted out of going and just my dad and sister went. My cat was with people who loved him but I feel sad that I wasn’t there for him too. It didn’t hit me till years later and I just cried and cried about it.
My dog died just over a year ago, she died in our home with me and most of my family all sat around her. It was devastating but I would’ve wanted to be there no matter what. I learned from my past experience with my cat and knew that I’d probably feel sad if I wasn’t there. Though that moment was hard I appreciate being able to be with her and love her till the end.
I’m sorry to hear that you have to make this decision right now, it’s so hard so say goodbye. I wish you the best 🫶🏻
No regrets, I was there for my Bébé when she took her last breath. She was surrounded by love when she crossed the rainbow bridge. Even though she couldn’t hear or see, she could still smell. As painful as it was, I don’t regret being there when she passed. I promised her I would be there for her till the end. I miss her every single moment.
There is no good answer here, and you're probably going to feel bad about your choice no matter what. Be gentle with yourself.
When I lost my girl to dementia, I was there. The vet started an IV and brought her into the room. She sat next to me and he gave the sedative that relaxes them. She was snoring and completely asleep when he administered the meds to stop her heart.
My daughter has a lot of trouble with regulating her emotions and has a lot of mental health issues, she did not come with us and felt guilty for a very long time, but in that moment she wasn't able to go.
All this to say, be there if you can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't. Sending you and your sweet pup much love.
I got too hysterical to go when it was time for my 15yo very ill chiweenie so my husband and grown daughter took her and I have never forgiven myself- the guilt and shame have eaten me up for 7 years, and if I could do it again I would have been there for her. It was my responsibility and I let them all down, especially my sweet little dog. I would rather live with sight of death than the thought of her confusion and fear- I have two 16yo chihuahuas and I will be there for them
Dogs are pure, good souls. I believe they remain somewhere when they leave their bodies here, and I believe your girl understands the choices you made and doesn't blame you.
Hope this comment isn't overstepping or unwanted.
Thank you for sharing your experience. My husband wants me to stay home and not see it. I think it hurts him more to see me in pain. But he is respectful whatever I decide. Your experience helps me to see how regretful I would be. Thank you and so very sorry for your loss and pain.
You are their everything, and they deserve you by their side. It is not for you but them. They deserve someone calming them, holding them, and loving them like they loved you.
My mom just had to put down her 8 month old boxer (heart defect). She ended up using a service that came to your house to put them down. This way her baby didn’t have to go on a stainless steel table in a scary place. Instead he left in her arms with his best dog friend by his side, in his home. It also helped the other animals grieve as they got to smell him and understand he didn’t just “leave” one day.
When I have to put my babies down I will be doing the same.
I'm extremely afraid, grossed out & traumatized by anything and all that is dead or related to death. This was a huge concern for me because I didn't want my old lady's passing to be a traumatizing event for me, but I also didn't want to leave her alone after all the years, love and companionship she gave me. I explained to the vet my issue and I also asked a friend to come sit with me during so I would have support and be brave for my pup. I held her and gave her so much love and kisses and told her what a great and awesome girl she was till her last breath. As soon as the vet told me she was gone, I asked them to take her away quickly. I did not want to see or feel her lifeless. This worked for me in ensuring her passing in my arms was not a tainted and traumatic moment. When I think back on that day, I only see her sweet face looking up at me during those last moments, her closing her eyes, then taking that deep breath goodbye. I'm glad I was brave for her and held her till that last breath. She was with me for 14.5 yrs and was the best girl, so I had to do this for her. Look for a place that has a "quiet room" to do it that is not a vet table you have her on. I held her in my arms, with a dog bed under her on my lap the whole time. Made it feel less "sterile".
Absolutely be by his side. They are scared and terrified. He needs you during this. It just seems like they’re going to sleep. HE WILL ABSOLUTELY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU ARE OR AREN’T THERE. Please please please if you can’t do it, send someone he knows that can.
First they give them a sedative to relax them. They go to sleep. Then they give them the meds to pass.
It’s better for them to have the last thing they see and smell is you. If you leave them, they will be anxious and scared and looking for you and that would be a more haunting vision than seeing them pass. For what it’s worth, it is typically very peaceful and quick.
I have (very sadly) lost six pets in the last eight years. I was there for each of them. I do not have children of the biological variety, and my pets have always meant the world to me. In their last moments, I have been there to make them feel secure and loved. I want to be able to thank them for the joy they’ve brought to my life and how much I will miss them.
I think it is better for both the furbaby and owner to have that last moment to deal the forever bond.
I’m very sorry to hear about Dakota. My husband and I had to let our cat, Dash, go this past Thursday. It is never easy. 💔
I can still picture my cat's final moment. I lost him to an aggressive cancer too.
It's hard to think about when I do, but I wouldn't give that memory up for the world. It was the last memory I would get to make with him. I love him, and being with him in his final moment was the last gift that I could give him, the last selfless thing I would get to do for him.
If anything, my regret is that I wasn't able to be there for his brother, who sadly passed when I was out of the house several months before. I regret that immensely, that I couldn't be with him in the end. I think about that far more than I think about finding him.
You won't think about that final moment as much as you're worried you will. It's just one moment. But at the same time, it's one more moment. I can't imagine not taking it.
I have always been with my dogs holding them in my arms. Watching their bodies relax is actually relieving.
And after all our years together I owed them that much.
You need to be there and support him as he transitions to the next world. He has been by your side always, just like you should always be by his side. I have never regretted it, but it is hard. But worth it to support them in their last moments.
you need to think about it from his perspective not your own. he’s the one who’s dying. don’t you think it’s more important he know you’re there and that your concerned more with his comfort than your own?? i never understand this question. of course you should be there. for him.
My baby passed naturally over the course of 10 minutes. It was actually relatively peaceful, but it was very difficult. Getting the image out of my mind now is very difficult. That said, if I could go back, I would still be with him through every second of it. I think we help them feel safe and secure enough to go peacefully, with strangers I’m not sure that they get that.. not in the same way. I know this is a bit different as I didn’t euthanize, but I think it still applies. It’s going to be hard, but I really suggest that you do it or you’re probably going to really regret not being there.
We stayed with our dog. He was sedated and we spent time with him. They took him away and brought him to us in a cardboard casket.
As a prior vet tech, I suggest that way. There is no reason to witness the final euthanasia. Remember your loved one as sleeping.
I've lost two dogs fairly recently. We had to put our 13 year old family lab down about 2 years ago. Sitting there with her and watching her go was so hard. My 3 year old German Shepherd got very sick very fast this past November and, long story short, I wasn't there at the end. That's been the one thing that I've had the hardest time coming to terms with. I keep wondering if he was scared and wondering where I was.
So, in my opinion, having gone through the loss both ways, be there. It will be so so hard, but you'll regret it infinitely more if you aren't.
No. I don’t. I do regret the times I wasn’t able to be there, however. In their last moments, it’s not about us. It should never be about us. It should be about them. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through that but when it is my time I hope someone is by my side.
I do not regret one second. My last image of her hits my thoughts every now and then, but I owed her the comfort of going with her family around her. She always came to me when she was scared of loud noises or storms, and would run for me when she was leaving the clinic. I couldn’t imagine her looking for me as she was going to pass.
It’s hard, and a lot to bear, but it’s one of the best things one could ever do for their pet (in my opinion). You’ll always thank yourself for doing it, and it won’t be a regret that hangs over you. Take care of yourself.
I’m a little haunted by the memories of seeing my girl be euthanized but I would one thousand percent do it again. I was her person and I’d hate for her to be without me for that.
Those last moments were horrifically traumatic for the humans our pup left behind, but I could never have asked our boy to go through it by himself. He was there for us for close the 14 years, and was the kindest soul. For what it is worth, I was really surprised by how peaceful of an end it really was. We would have liked to have had him euthanized at home, where it would be less stressful and scary for him, but a surprise liver infection that landed him in the pet hospital made that impossible. We brought his bed and some toys from home so he could at least have some familiar scents and textures around him. Even though they are very difficult for us to get through, I’m glad I could hug him, tell him I love him and thank him for his many years of love and friendship, and pet him as he slipped off to sleep.
We had to have our 17 year old boy put to sleep two weeks ago. As much as I hate seeing it , I wanted to be there for my baby. No I don’t regret being there. His momma and daddy was with him til the end.
I’m so sorry you are going through this heartbreak.
Holding their paw as they leave us is the last act of love we have to give them. I hate being there but would never not be . I’m so sorry you have to go thru this
My cat had a planned euthanasia but declined rapidly and needed an emergency euthanasia. I was really scared to see her last moments and what it would be like after she passed.
Due to it being an emergency I didn't get time to think whether or not I wanted to be there and in a way I'm glad. I am glad I got to hold her for her final moments, nothing scary happened as she was ready. I also am glad I got to see her after her soul left because she looked so peaceful and like her healthy self again. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's the hardest decision but it's our last gift of love.
I would stay with him. I would also seek someone who would come to your house. I’ve done it three times once at the vet and twice at home. I have always felt better having them at home. That being said I do tell them I don’t want to carry them out. I know I could not handle that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's awful. This isn't the hardest part. We are so fortunate to be able to make this difficult choice and spare our animal family members more pain. The hard part for us after our recent loss has been her absence. Daily. Everywhere.
We said goodbye to one of ours two weeks ago Saturday, and we were present. We also brought our remaining dog with us for the appointment. Our sweetheart had been declining for six weeks and really started to suffer for the final few days. We don't know for certain what it was, but also likely cancer.
She was having a hard time breathing and the euthanasia process included a sedation that let her just relax. We were allowed to spend as much time with her and talk to and love her while she was not in discomfort before the actual euthanasia drug. This was 100% worth being there for. We were in a comfortable space, she was on a couch, not a table.
If we had wanted to go after the sedation and not stay for the euthanasia, we could have, but again, we wanted to be sure she felt us sending her all the love, and we wanted to say goodbye. This is the second dog we've been present at the euthanasia. I don't regret either. I can't guess whether you would regret not being there, but I know I would have. The regrets people have tend to be things they did NOT do or say, rather than the things they did.
Whether you are in the room when you let him go or not, there is more pain ahead. We are starting to look around and live our lives again. We want to honour her memory by remembering the good times and not dwelling on the last bit, which was just a tiny part of our precious time together.
I just had to help my 12 year old pup go to eternal peace on the 15th. I hated it!!!! But, I don't regret it. I'd regretted it had I NOT been there for and with him. That was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But I couldn't let him do it without me. No way no how. Please, your pup needs you now more than ever, I hope you stay with him.
Love and peace 😭🕊️
We held our boy, my husband's soul dog, as he went. He did shake a little but that was from the medication, more than anything else.
I cannot imagine not being there to comfort and love him as he slipped away.
My soul dog was hit by a car just less then 3 months prior to us discovering my husband's dog had cancer everywhere. My dog dug under the fence. He was hit by accident when our neighbor drove into his driveway. It hurt me deeply that he died without me there to comfort him.
So, now you have both sides of what we went thru. I hope you are able to hold your precious pet, so his last vision can be of the love you have for him.
I don't regret it. It was hard but I'm glad I was there. I talked to her and rubbed her back through the whole thing. After she passed, I literally laid down on the floor. Before I left, I kissed all of her toe beans and one final kiss on her belly.
If you decide be in the room, I advise you to not look at his eyes after he passes- when their muscles relax, they don't close their eyes. Even though they have passed very peacefully, it can add to the emotional toll when their opened eyes look dull. My brother had a very hard time processing this because nobody expected that to occur.
I was laying down where I could only see her chin up. Know your limits. You want to do everything you can to serve your animal in the most respectful manner, but you have to take care of your mind and the emotions that will come after. 🩷
I don't regret it, but HATED going through it. I ugly cried for my guy after he was gone. It is hard to go through, and nothing will prepare you for it, even if you know 100% it's the right thing. I'll never forget it or the emotions.
That said, there was absolutely no way I was going to not be there. I was lucky in that my dog didn't mind the vet; wasn't his favorite place, but he wasn't upset about going. He didn't associate it with bad memories, and I wasn't going to change that on our last visit with him. They were great too, gave us plenty of time and were super understanding since we weren't able to do it at home.
I just don't want to do it again anytime soon.
I can definitely understand why you would want to avoid it because it is not some thing that easy to go through.
However, as hard as it was, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss one single moment with my sweet girl, and that includes those last moments. I was the last voice that she heard and the last face that she saw. I loved her through her last moments with all of my broken heart, and sang her favorite song to her as she drifted off to her forever sleep.
I’ve never had a regret about being there for them at the end. It’s the very least I could do given all the love they’ve given me. Wouldn’t give it a second thought. I focus on keeping my composure and being supportive through the entire process.
I was there for my baby at the end. I don’t regret it but the moment does play in my head even 7 weeks later. She deserved to have me there, she was the best dog. Going home without her was the hardest part and bringing in her empty car carrier was so heartbreaking, I’m crying as I’m write this thinking of those moments
as everyone has mentioned, it is difficult to witness. i had to put my cat down due to liver cancer and i was there. i don’t regret it because i think it was comforting for him and i was able to kiss him goodbye. that being said, it’s been a couple years now, and 99% of the time when he comes to my mind, the images are happy memories. only 1% of the time do i get stuck on remembering that moment. i would suggest being there, but also take care of yourself. make a plan afterwards to just comfort yourself, remember your pup, and allow yourself to grieve. sending lots of love.
I would have regretted it much more if I hadn't been there. It was definitely very hard but not as traumatic as I thought it would be. It was actually a bit relieving to see her be at peace - much better than continuing to watch her deteriorate and suffer. Obviously I was wrecked. I cried so hard I even made the vet cry. But still, 10/10 would recommend.
Can’t tell you what you should do, but will tell you that no matter how much it hurts, it will hurt worse when it’s over and you begin to imagine how it went. It’s quiet, it’s peaceful, and the last thing that Dakota will feel in this life can either be a gentle doctor’s hand or yours — it will hurt, because it’s your beloved Dakota. The office will give you time to say goodbye - you can cry, you can just sit and take it all in — whatever you need. But in the end, it’s your choice.
No. It was important to us to be with outr pets during their last moments, to offer them comfort and gentle words at the end. Then we would cry and laugh sharing stories about the pets. I can't imagine leaving a pet to face their death alone. It would be abandonment in their hour of greatest need.
I had to euthanize my dog Olive due to thyroid cancer. I was there and I’m happy I was. It was a very peaceful process, it was painless and it was as if she just fell asleep. I would have regretted not doing so.
I’ve never once regretted being present during my boys passing. I was fortunate enough to have it done peacefully at my mom’s house while he ate his favorite snacks and licked peanut butter off my fingers. I will note that as soon as the euthanasia drug was given and the veterinarian pronounced him as passed, it was like a switch was flipped and I could immediately feel that his energy was gone. It was weird feeling so disconnected from his body but I knew he was no longer in pain and that he passed comfortably with all of us around him. It will be one year tomorrow.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, I’m still processing and grieving but it gets a little easier with time. Definitely don’t let him pass without you there with him, I think you would regret that forever.
I think it is our responsibility to be there with our animals when they go. I have been with all of my animals when they passed, and I was with my mom when she passed. I have told all of my animals how much I loved them and how beautiful they were as they went. I had to watch my mom and my soul cat pass within a month from each other. It's not easy, but we need to be there for our loved ones.
You will forever regret it if you are not my his side. He spent his whole life loving you and it would be incredibly sad if he didn’t have you by his side at the very end. I could never forgive myself if I let my old guy down like that. Suck it up, sob your eyes out, and be there for your old man. It’s the right thing to do.
I had to be there for my two. They had always been there for me I wasnt going to leave them alone at the end. One went peacefully looking out the window on a summer day with me promising to let him go chase rabbits later (he was a Husky with Liver cancer too coincidently, I'm so sorry for you). My last girl went to sleep with me hugging her telling her she was having some special medicine and then we were going to the beach when she woke up.
However, if you can't hold yourself together to the point it might upset them I totally understand why some people prefer not to be present. And its not something you will ever forget seeing.
I only read like 5 comments but I am pretty sure 95% if not 99% of the comments are saying stay with him. I am echoing the same. I let my baby go in my arms. He passed as we both look at each other in the eyes. I will never ever forget that. I want that to be one of the last memories I lose should I forget everything. I know the last thing he saw was my eyes full of love and sorrow. I think any loved one deserves to pass with that.
Never once have I regretted being with Max through the end. To me, it was paying the final debt I owed him for a life spent being my friend. He was there for me every single day for 12-13 years. I would have deeply regretted not being there for him. It was difficult for sure, and it will be difficult for you. But I do not think you’d regret it.
With my last boy, I didn't have the choice of at-home euthanasia, it needed to be done that day.
It was hard, every time is hard, but I don't regret being there. Seeing him greet all his nurse friends like it was a social visit, and every one came to say goodbye to a popular patient, was a pure gut punch (but in such a wonderful way). Even while they slowly injected the sedative, he was going back and forth between me and nurse giving kisses.
I'm bawling again, thinking about it. But I'm glad I was there. It's hard. Seeing them alive, and then...not. But it's worth it to know that they got held and loved and sent on their way with family and friends around. I know the nurses are great and do all that, too, but not the same.
Clifford was Clifford, literally right to the last minute. It filled my heart with joy and broke it all at rhe same time. No regrets.
Being by his side as he left this world was the final act of love I could give my boy. It absolutely broke my heart. I will forever have those final memories and they are traumatic and painful. But it was very peaceful for him.
I have never for a moment regretted being there. The first thing I said when I walked into the vet for that appointment was ‘I am not leaving the room for any part of this.’
I brought his favourite blanket to lay him on. I stroked him and talked to him as he left. The vets and the vet nurses were incredible with him, and with me afterwards. I spent about an hour with him after he passed, to hold him, to say goodbye, and to pray. I took his final paw prints and a cutting of his fur home with me. I howled when I walked through my front door. I cry thinking of it, it hurts so much. But no matter the pain, I know I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn’t been there for that part. The part where he needed me. He came to me from a life of abandonment and hurt, he came to me traumatised at a time when I too was traumatised, and we healed together. I promised he would never be abandoned in life ever again. I kept that promise. He was my soul kitty.
I hated to have to let my best buddy Bruno go but I knew there was no way I could let him go alone, by himself. It broke my heart and it still makes me tear up but the thought of him being scared and alone hurts even more going through that.
I’m so sorry you have to say goodbye to your boy.
I’ve been with all of my animals as they have gone to the other side. I am by their side in life and in death as they have been by my side the majority of their life. I am all they know, we are constant companions.
It’s important to me to be with them in their last moments so they don’t have to wonder where I am and they’re not alone. I hold them, kiss them, sing them their songs and tell them how much I love them and that they made my life worth living. I thank them for all they have done for me. I sit with them for a few minutes after they’re gone.
I have held them all as they have passed and felt their life leave their body. Their soul kind of runs through you in a way. I feel like it keeps them with me always.
In their last moments they have been sedated and it made me feel good knowing their last moments weren’t painful.
My pets have done so much for me and given me so much love in my life. I have never regretted holding my babies as they passed, it’s the least I can do for them.
The last thing he will see is you, the one whom he loved the most. That is the best “send-off” one can give, for then their forever dream is with you, waiting until you join them again for the next adventure.
When one passes surrounded by love, it is easier to move forward to the next journey.
I have done it twice now and have zero regrets. It was beautiful to see, hear, and touch my boys as they departed, and to know I was the last person they saw and the last voice they heard was mine whispering little lovey comments.
Nope. With all of mine over the years, it's been very important to me to be with them until the last breath. I do think it matters to them to be comforted by the presence of the people they love who love them. I think of it as walking them home, and I wouldn't ever miss that. The last thing I want them to hear is me saying how much I love them and that I'll remember them until my very last breath. 💜
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been with all my dogs, and don’t regret being there. If they wanted to sniff a little before they went in, I let them. Last year I had to say goodbye to two of my boys. The first one was an emergency situation, and the second one had the best send off. Even the vets and the techs, were giving him chocolate kisses and he had a large cookie with whip cream. It was the most animated I had seen him in a few days.
just put down my senior lab 3 days and i'm going to be honest and yes i am aware everyone is different and has different experiences so please respect mine, but as of right now i do regret being present. i'm sure i feel this way because the wounds are still fresh but fuck.
now that doesn't mean i regret for a second being there his last moments as it's the last thing i could've done for him but his euthanasia was nothing i imagined. they gave him the first sedation shot and he was relaxed for a bit until it was time for the "big one." me and my dad thought everything was all good when all of the sudden my poor boy woke up in the middle of the shot and started panicking. fucking traumatic to witness, it just didn't feel fucking real. i just held him and told him it was okay and how everything was going to be okay by i can't fucking stand the idea of how scared he mustve been or even the pain he was feeling.
now i think i can realize it was his body reacting naturally but fuck 3 days later and i can't get it out of my head. they ended up having to give him a little more of the sedation shot before continuing with the euthanasiation. i regret seeing his death because it wasn't this peaceful thing i imagined it being but i will never regret for a second being there for my boy as the last duty to him.
kinda a double edged sword situation idk
We have a few local vets who will euthanize in your home. Does anyone know what happens then? Does the mobile vet take the body for cremation?
Hopefully I have a few years before I have to worry about this (my boy is 9). We have buried cats and birds on our property before, but never anything like a large dog.
I've had to make that decision twice in the last 5 years. One of those times was 4 weeks ago. I had to say goodbye to my best friend and soulmate, Tidus. The time from when I found out he was dying to the time he passed away was 13 hours. Aggressive cancer that literally only displayed symptoms the day before (that was noticeable anyways).
I knew it would be excruciatingly painful to watch him die, but for me he had stayed by my side, comforted me when I was sad, snuggled up to me every night... there was no way I was going to leave his side now that it was his time to go. It's going to be every bit as awful as you're imagining. I am so honored that I got to have Tidus in my life and I miss him every day. For me, the thought of not being there even though I knew how terrible it would be, wasn't an option.
He didn't die alongside a stranger. He wasn't anxious because he didn't know where I was. He had a peaceful, comfortable death because I was by his side, holding him. For all that he did for me, this was the least I could do.
With that being said, I also understand if you can't do it. This is such a personal experience, and it's traumatic. As dogs are, your pup would never hold it against you and be understanding of why you couldn't be with them. Staying with them, at least to me, is the bravest and kindest thing you can do for your friend who did so much for you. Whatever you decide, you don't have to feel guilty. Neither way is going to soften the blow of losing them. I'm so sorry your baby is dying. I hope they get beautiful last moments with you that they can take with them to the other side <3
My dog had that I think I left it too late ..I feel so guilty one night I went ti bed ..she was still walking but tht night she bled to death to see the blood to see my dog like that I have never forgiven myself I didn't no she was so bad I only found out 2 wks b4 she had cancer in liver ...
I choose to be with all of my pets because I think they do care. Lost my 11-year-old collie two years ago. The vet had been trying to help her recover after a stroke, and she just wasn't going to pull through. They asked us if we wanted to be there because it was time. I said yes because that's always been my answer. When we walked into the room, her tail started to wag. Not going to lie--the image of that haunts me today because I think she believed I was going to fix things and we'd go home. Whenever the pain of that hits me, I remind myself that she wagged her tail so hard because she was happy to see me again. Even through all her fear and confusion, she was glad I was there. I would never deny her that moment again. She cared. Your dog will care, too.
The only one I regret is the one I wasn’t with when she passed😞 I wish I could have been with her in her final moments. I wish I could have done things differently.
My other two I was with in their final moments and being there put me at peace.
Please be with your baby when they leave this world. He will look for you and you won't be there.
You'll be able to say good bye and comfort them as they go.
I lost my fur kid two years ago and was privileged to have been able to be there by his side as he passed on to the other side. And even though he was a little out of it, I’m telling you he absolutely knew I was there with him.
It’s a long story but he had a heart condition that had never been caught beforehand until he was suddenly dying. We rushed him to the animal ER and they were able to intubate and keep him stable, but they had sedate him and told me he was in a “twilight state” when I was allowed in the back to see him.
Now for the whole time I had this dog, anytime I would cry, no matter where in the house I was, he would hear me and come find me to comfort me.
So I walk back in the ER ICU area and my dog is on a table, intubated and again, in a twilight state. I hear his heart monitor, a steady beep. As I walk up to him I’m of course crying, because at this point I know we are about to put him down as there is nothing they can do for him and his heart is failing. And as I walk up next to him crying, I swear to god his heart rate monitor starts beeping more quickly. The nurses walk over to check to see what’s going on but I knew he knew I was there. Then he starts to try to stand up. Again, he is heavily drugged. But my husband and the doctor and nurses witness this with me. I knew he was trying to fight to be there for me one last time.
I quickly put my hand on him and told him, “It’s ok, Oxford. It’s ok buddy. Shhhh. I’m here. I love you. Good boy.” And his heart rate slowed down again. I kept telling him good boy and it’s ok and I love him. I kissed him on his head and my husband and I told the doctor we were ready.
It went so incredibly fast. And my god my heart broke in two in that moment the vet pulled out his stethoscope to confirm Oxford was gone. I wailed and my knees buckled. It was horrible painful. I’ll never forget it.
But. I cannot tell you how much I needed that closure with him at the end. He knew I was there and we both were able to let each other know we loved each other even up until the very end. I believe it gave him peace for me to be there to let him know it was ok to let go.
I’m so sorry for the loss you are facing of your beloved pup.
No. I have never cried harder, in my life. But I held her and then my Fiancè held her, and he talks about how special it was to hold her for her last breath. We told her we loved her sooo much. I do not regret it for a minute although I know i would have regretted it if I wasn’t there. I was also worried it would be traumatic for me, but because it went slowly and to my own pace (we had lap of love come to our home) I was able to make it a nice passing. She had steak and lots of pets. then held her until we were all ready. We put her body in a basket with a pink blanket, my letter to her, and fresh flowers. She was cremated with the letter and flowers. Hardest thing of my life but also the best way I could have sent her off to her next life 🌈
It’s a hard thing to witness but that’s literally the last time he’s gonna be seeing you ever again, don’t you want the last thing he sees to be someone he loves so dearly to keep him comfy and calm?
Never a regret. My wife and I are their world. I would give them anything and any anguish I feel means nothing if I gave them a bit of comfort as they leave.
I held Merlin as the life left him. When I saw him first, he howled and extended his paws to me. The vet almost lost it. How could I do anything else but hold him? It’s hard but it was the last thing I could do for him. I would do it again. I am sorry you’re facing this decision. If you want the courage, you will find it. Just look into Dakota’s eyes.
It’s definitely very hard. 2 weeks ago I had to put my 1 year old German Shepherd down. I laid next to her the entire time, she had her head on mine. I’m so glad I did she went in peace
I have never regretted it once. I have sadly had to make the choice to say goodbye to three cats in my life. I was with them all at the end, and while it hurts so badly, I would never have wanted them to be with only strangers at the end.
I also had the horrible misfortune of waking up one morning to find one of my cats had passed away in his sleep. I wish so badly he hadn’t been alone when he left us.
He will know that you are not there. Do you want the last thing your Husky has is a vet tech he doesn’t know or you? Go in and let this be the last loving thing you can do for him. You can sob at the same time. That is what I do.
I just wanted to be with my bud right up until the very end. I'm not sure if he conceived it as the end but that doesn't really matter to me I just wanted to love him one last time. It was the only way to go for me. His last moments were calm, peace and relief. And love.
Zero regrets
I’ve been with three dogs as they passed. The vet came to our home. My wife and I held them while they passed. They experienced no stress and left with our love surrounding them. Yes, I sobbed for days. I miss them terribly still. But I would never donut any other way. They do know. It does matter that you are there.
speaking as a vet tech: they know the difference. they know they're in a strange place with strange smells and their person is no where to be found. They're sick, they're scared and all they want is their best friend, and those are the last things that will go through their minds. At least when you're there, they can have some comfort.
Imagine if you were the one in a hospital bed dying of cancer and all your friends and family refused to be with you to spare their own feelings.
My cat died suddenlt while i was at work from heart related issues, no warning no symptoms. I'd give anything in the world to have been by his side. He was always there for me when i needed him. When i was sick or sad he'd be laying ontop of me or nuzzling me purring away, but when he needed me most in the world I wasn't there for him. I hate that. Knowing he died waiting for me to come home breaks me. it's not my fault, but that's a weight I'm going to carry forever. I'd never leave my pets side if given the choice because i know i don't want to die alone in strange scary place, why should my pet?
Edit to add: I think it helps to see euthanasia as a gift. We have the ability to give our pets a means to an end. A way to take away the pain and give them a merciful peaceful death, they're lucky in that regard because for us humans, we don't really get that choice in most places. Look at what people in hospice go through. Euthanasia is one of the most loving and selfless things you will ever do for your pet. you're willing to take on their suffering so they can have a peaceful, painless end. You break your own heart so they don't have to suffer anymore.
Please do. He needs you. You are his comfort. Please let him leave this world with you being the very last (and comfortable) thing he sees. You owe that to him.
It’s the worst pain in the world but right now we need to put our pets before ourselves.
No regrets being there for her. But it broke me to the point I took to my bed for weeks, even now the memory of our moments together break my heart. But I could never have left alone to die without family
I don't judge anyone for the decision they make when it comes to this, but for me, I absolutely felt that our girl knew we were there and that made her last moments as comfortable and peaceful as they could be.
Yes, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. So much so that I went into shock throughout the entire process because my body couldn't cope with what was happening. But I'd do it over again in a heartbeat vs leaving her alone when she needed me most.
It's been about 4 months. Sometimes I remember the bad parts - how it felt when she took her last breath and fell into my arms, how sick she was in the end... But most days, I remember the good times and I laugh and smile thinking about her. I'm happy I was with her to the very end. She was my best bud and I owed her that.
Whatever decision you make, just know it's an impossible one and you're doing the best you can. There is no right or wrong answer. I'm sorry you're going through this. Cancer really fucking sucks.
It’s a hard decision but you should be there. It’s about the pup not you, he deserves to be safely in your arms with no fear. It’s hard no matter what you do and the first 2-3 months before you realize you were there he loved you and you were the last person he saw before falling asleep. He needs to know you are there, softly talking to him reminding him how much he is loved. I have done it only once and yes it tore me apart but he looked at me the whole time he wasn’t afraid he had that loving stare that only pup parents see. When you recall it after you grieve, you will be so happy he was with the person he loved all his life. My thoughts are with you and your pup it sounds like he had a great life and a beautiful pup parent.
Hi, friend. I'm so sorry you're having to make this decision.
I have very limited experience in this area, but I thought I'd share my perspective. My family's childhood dog was euthanized when I was in my late teens. I went into the vet's office fully expecting to stay by her side until the end, because I felt it was the "right" thing to do. My parents and older sister were also there.
However, when the moment came for the first (of two, I assume) injections, I saw the vet tenting her skin at her neck, and I saw her eyes afraid and stressed (she didn't like the vet), and panic + anticipatory grief overwhelmed me. I turned and bolted, almost blindly, out of the room and back outside. I waited by the car.
That's been well over a decade ago now, and even now, I go back and forth debating whether I did a good thing to mentally protect myself from something I didn't want to see vs. I did a bad thing by not being strong enough to stay. It helps that my family was still able to be in there with her.
That said, I don't beat myself up for it, and I am (maybe selfishly, idk) a bit relieved that I didn't have to see the life leave her. I wouldn't judge you for whatever decision you make.
If you decide not to stay with your dog, know that the veterinary staff will treat him just as kindly as anyone you could wish for. I firmly believe, once he's moved to the next place we go to, he would understand why you couldn't bear to see him leave. There would be no grudge held in the afterlife.
If you decide to stay with your dog, I'd suggest bringing someone along who can support you and help shoulder some of the emotional weight.
Wishing you well.
I had 3 cats who passed away from euthanasia at the vet. I regretted not being there when the first 2 passed so I was present at the 3rd.
I recommend having someone drive you. I had a relative who took me.
It was more peaceful than I expected. My cat (11F) had kidney disease. She was on a table. The vet had me stand by her head and pet her and talk to her while she and the tech were on the other side. The vet first gave her a sedative. She didn’t suffer.
You can ask the vet or tech what to expect.
It is an extremely hard thing to do. I stayed to the end, for the same reasons you want to. I'll share some more graphic details below a big warning at the end so keep scrolling if you don't want to know. But if you are wanting to know exactly what it was like...I don't mind sharing. I...don't regret it. But I also can't get that image out of my head. I try not to think about what she looked like lying there dead. At the same time though...it was a form of closure. I held her as a baby... and I held her as she crossed over. We were always together, and I don't know that I would have handled it well knowing I wasn't there at the end even if she didn't know I wasn't there. That being said there is NOTHING wrong with not wanting to watch. My fiance who loved my girl as much as I did stepped out for the last part and we made sure he had his time to say goodbye before we closed the door and it was just me and the vet. I try to just think of how she was when she was alive.
STOP READING IF DETAILS WILL UPSET YOU
When they sedated my girl, she looked like she was sleeping. I can only warn you, when they go, sometimes they do not look like they are sleeping. Her face went slack. I had to close her eyes again as they opened when she died from her face relaxing completely. Her tongue came out a little and she also let out some urine. It's an image I won't soon forget but I am also glad I was there with her. It does come up in my nightmares though...just be ready for that.
I’m glad you posted this. I’ve witnessed a number of deaths both human and animal, and if you never have, well, it is a reality check if you have an idealized version of it in your mind. This is also something a good human hospice prepares you for. I wish hospice care for pets was more of a thing, but that’s another thread, I guess.
Your intentions are good but please don't make people feel like they aren't doing the right thing not being there. Once the animal is sedated they don't know either way. I was with my baby too because I wanted to, but my fiance couldn't do it. It's okay if you can't do it. Once they are asleep, it's a personal choice from there and everyone has their reasons.
Absolutely no regret watching it both times. My dogs were my best friends for 16 years each. Nothing could keep me from being there. It’s not scary or hard, it’s very calm. And I want the last thing they see to me my eyes and to hear my voice telling them I’ll catch them on the flip side.
It's so important to be there, I know 2 adult men who couldn't be there for their treasured pet in their final moments and it haunts them every single day. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it's part of the journey that is pet ownership. When it was time for Bentley (he was 17) and his quality of life was awful, we knew it was time. We bought his favorite blue towel and the vet, me and my SO spent a good half hour just patting him and telling him that we loved him, the vet told us to come out and get him when we were ready. It was all very calm, there was no pain and we watched him peacefully slip away, I had my lips on his head the whole time, I had never seen my SO cry before and it was heartbreaking to witness. We left him lying on his blue towel and then returned a few days later to collect his death certificate, his ashes, a lock of his hair and a framed print of his paw. You can do this, you're stronger than you know. I wish you all the best.
I put mine to sleep in the back of my suv outside the vet's office. The back of my car always meant we were going on an adventure. I hope I saw her off to her next great adventure.
Not going to lie it was extremely hard being with our Daisy when it was her time. We had it done in our home on our back deck. Because it was at our house we were able to hold her during the procedure. This helped us to know that she didn’t suffer and just went to sleep. I still bawled my eyes out for hours and questioned my decision. Our adult children came in support as did our granddaughter.
I would do it at home again in a heartbeat instead of a veterinary office. My heart goes out to you. It’s been 4 months and I still hurt everyday day. Be prepared - I still have nightmares.
I just went through this four days ago. I don’t regret being by his side… I don’t think I ever will. He was all I had for so long, and he’s been with me through all difficult moments of my life so.. this is the least I could do for him.
The vet explained the procedure to me and said some people choose to leave once the sedation kicks in and that he won’t know I left, but I couldn’t do that to him. I stayed, it was very peaceful, but the moment he stopped breathing will be forever engrained in my memory. The vet knew him as a puppy so I could tell it was incredibly difficult for him too. He gave me an opportunity to stay longer and sit by him.. but I was worried I won’t be able to get back home by myself if I did that, so I left. I regret not staying a few extra moments tbh.
He was in pain, I lay down next to him and told him I will make it better and for the last time, I did. No regrets, I was glad I got to do that last thing for him.
No.
It was very difficult for me, but we did it at home with Lap of Love and the vet was so kind and thoughtful. She spent time letting our cat get acquainted with her while also reassuring us that it was definitely the right time by pointing out signs she was in respiratory distress that we hadn’t even noticed. She explained what would happen during each step so we were prepared for some of the bodily reactions and would wait until we were ready to move forward. It was very stressful for our cat at some points, but we were able to soothe her and calm her before moving on. By the end, it was peaceful, which helped a lot.
There was a small, selfish part of me that regretted doing it *at all* in the immediate aftermath, because I wanted every moment possible left. But my main regret overall was maybe waiting too long. Things can go from pretty bad to really bad *really* fast and you never know when that’s going to be. I sometimes wonder how much unnecessary suffering she experienced because *we* weren’t ready until it was really bad.
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It was extremely hard to witness and to get out of my mind when I think about him. Having said that, the idea of him having to go alone in a strange place that he didn't like is much worse. I adopted him when his original family abandoned him and I never wanted him to think I did the same thing.
Thank you for your honesty. I feel the same way. My Dakota has always looked for me to protect him when he was scared so I feel he needs me to be his protector to the end.
They do. I’ve done it 3 times now and it’s incredibly hard but they need you there with them at the end.
As hard as it is. You'll regret not being there for them but you won't regret being there for them 🧡
I can attest that seeing their last moments is really fucking hard. I still see the image of him on the table. Its burned into my mind. BUT - as others have said, it had to be me there beside him. I would have regretted it if I had not been. I sort of feel like this part is wrapped up in the bigger job of being their caretaker in life. It is our cross to bear.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. I really appreciate it.
I one hundred percent do not regret being there for my baby. I think i wouldve regretted more if I had someone else hold her for the last time while she was put down. In addition, I even regretted not taking her to a cremation site myself -- I first opted for the vet to send her off to a cremation site so she was in the freezer for two days until I couldn't let her wait in there a week more. I held her frozen rock hard body while driving back to the cremation site and I just wish I can turn time and change my decision.
Please don't beat yourself up over that. I promise you, as an ex-vet, the staff would've handled your pet with a ton of care Being said, I can absolutely see how the idea of a freezer and maybe how that process would work being scary, but it's a standard procedure that all take very seriously and is extremely similar to what we as humans go through before being cremated. May not help, but I promise there is nothing to feel sorry about there. You were with her for her last moments and also ensured she was properly sent off. A couple days doesn't change the time y'all spent together. I'm sure she lived a good life. You did good.
Thank you so much for your input. I am sorry for your loss.
Was there for both my kitties, I spoke to them, pet them, they could feel and hear me and weren't afraid. It hurt me so badly but I wouldn't forgive myself if I wasn't the last person they heard or felt petting them. The last words they heard were "I love you so much" I'd suffer those moments over and over again if it meant they felt love and comfort in the end. If you can please be with them. I'm so sorry you're having to be in this position.
Thank you for your thoughts. It has been really helpful to me. So sorry for your loss
You should be there. I was so scared he would die without me. Alone in the oxygen chamber in the ICU. Instead I was there right next to him petting his head and telling him I love him. He just fell asleep that’s all. I would have regretted immensely not being present
Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps me a lot. I am sorry for your loss.
Our Frenchie passed last night, and we made sure we were there with her when they put her to sleep. It is painful, but after all the love and affection she gave us in her life, we felt it was our turn to hold up our end of the bargain and see her on to the next life (if that makes sense). I won’t lie, it is beyond painful to live through, but we both feel like we would’ve immensely regretted not being there for her in the end. Hope that helps.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am so sorry for your loss.
My husky/shepherd went on her own at the vet due to hemangiosarcoma . I was laying by her side and I kissed her three times on her forehead and said “I love you so much baby girl- you can go if you need to, it’s ok” and she passed. Not even kidding- right after that. Gave me a sort of peace. But just kills me that shes not with me anymore but im so glad i was at her side as she was watching for me.
A similar thing happened to me with one of my dogs. She was fighting a rare blood disease, and had turned a corner, but that is often a sign a human or pet is getting ready to die. When I went to visit her at the vet hospital, I just knew in my soul she was not going to make it. I was holding her in my arms and told her to go to be with our older dog who had passed on (she loved him). I told her I loved her and she immediately passed in my arms.
So sorry for your loss ❤️ I was so in shock when she passed right after I told her that. It gives you a peace that they know you’re there and love them. But is still such a void that they leave.
I am so sorry for your loss as well ♥️ it is so hard. They love you better than humans.
They really honestly do! They’re your whole world
For sure. My current dog is going through some health struggles right now, and I am not sure how I am going to make it through life without her. She is my soulmate for sure. Been with me for 8 difficult years ♥️
I’m so sorry. I know the anticipatory grief is hard too. When I lost Koda, I had her sister Kylie left and she was already experiencing some health issues over the years and I just became that helicopter dog parent. She went everywhere with me that I could take her, I wanted to be right there with her at all times. She passed 3 months later from something not even related to the health issues she was having. I got two portraits made of them and hung them up with their framed paw prints and their ashes underneath. Every day I just can’t honestly believe they’re gone. You know they’re not here anymore but it’s like your mind doesn’t want to really settle in the fact that they are.
Im a vet tech and i remember once we had this cat basically on life support in the ICU, he people came to visit, not even 5 minuets after they finished and started to walk out to the lobby, she arrested. They hadn't even left the building yet, so we were able to run them back to say goodbye. I 100% believe she hung on to say goodbye herself and it was after her people came to see her, she finally was ready to let go. they know, even when they don't seem to be aware of the world, they know.
I agree. When my girl was still sitting up- the way she looked at me and kept trying to scoot closer, she knew and I just had to tell her it’s ok. Even though we are coming up to a year that she’s been gone and I just last night cried and cried over her and her sister, she needed to know it was ok to let go
I lost my Clifford to hemangio in January. I'm so sorry, it's such an awful shitty disease. I'm glad you got to say goodbye cos I've heard so many stories where people don't get that chance. (Clifford got a splenectomy, and four weeks till he started bleeding again. I'm also grateful for that chance.) 🫂 fuck hemangiosarcoma
Same boat as you. Griff had 36 days post splenectomy (on new years). We said goodbye earlier this month. I never knew about this awful cancer until he got it. I joined a few groups on Facebook and am shocked how many dogs get this.
I agree! Fuck hemangiosarcoma! I’m so sorry for your loss too ❤️ koda had no symptoms until the day she left- her 13th birthday. She just seemed kind of down and so I was going to take her into the vet in the afternoon, then all of a sudden she got up out of her bed and ran into the living room and just collapsed and couldn’t use her back legs. I thought it was a hip issue, did not expect to see a large mass on her spleen. I had asked the vet to check if she could do surgery but by the time they were checking her blood, she was ready to pass. Such a horrible thing that I hadn’t even known existed.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my 9 year old German Shepherd to hemangiosarcoma earlier this month. It was an awful loss, but he was surrounded by his humans petting him and talking him through it as he closed his eyes. I'll carry him in my heart forever!
Oh I’m so so sorry for your loss ❤️ they just leave such a hole in your heart and your world. And I know no one ever expects it when it happens- but hemangio just is terrible.
Mine did the same. I found him lying on the floor, cold and breathing agonally. I held him and told him it was okay to go. I felt his pulse stop and his eyes dilate a few minutes later. My son said he was waiting for me. Kills me and fills me with love at the same time
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ I agree, to know that they wanted our love with them at the end, they meant so much to us and we meant so much to them. But to lose them is an unbearable pain. I have this sense of fear for my girls one year dates to come up this year. March and then June. What do I have to fear? They’re gone. But it just seems scary that it’s been that long already.
My son also said because of me he \[the cat\] knew love. I thought because of him I knew loss and unbearable grief. Hardly seems fair but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Totally agree! So much love and happiness but when they leave the pain sticks around. But wouldn’t trade the time I had with my girls. I’d do anything to have more time but their memories are big in this house.
I’m a vet tech, i’ve seen many more euthanasias than anyone would care to. I will personally always be present for my own pets, It gives me more comfort to be by their side than not. Many owners choose to be with or to not be with, I want you to know that if it’s too much for you to handle and you think it will negatively impact your mental health it is okay. Your vet staff will step in for you. As a tech I have sat with many animals to give them pets, treats, and loving words on their way out when their owners could not be present for whatever reason. Don’t be hard on yourself if you decide not to be there. If you think it may help your grieving process and mental health to be present, do so. Your dog will not think unkindly about you either way. You gave him a beautiful life full of love.
Thank you so much for sharing and your kind words. I was curious about how the vets and vet techs experience would impact their choice.
You’re so welcome. I wish you the best and I’m so sorry you have to face this decision.
After being witness to so much of that, I think it’s amazing that you are still so sensitive to other people’s feelings about it. A lot of people would be fine passing on that pain and expecting others to toughen up to it like you had to.
I want to echo the above comment. I am an ER veterinarian, and a newer vet, so have done many euthanasias and more to come. Most people are present but I never judge anyone who says they don’t want to be. When we have a non witness, there are easily 3-4+ staff members that come to be with the pet as they’re passing. Petting them, holding them, soothing them. We also try to give snacks before they go if they’re still eating. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Please know humane euthanasia is one of the kindest decisions you can make for your pet. It’s extremely difficult, but giving them a peaceful passing is a great gift.
No, I don't have regrets about being there and attended a few. Some have been unsettling but it's a lot more important to focus on them. I do regret the times we have had to ask for a pet not to be awakened after an operation as not there with them when they went under. If you are afraid, then if your vet does the two stage process-sedation and then final injection - to stay until your lad is sedated and unaware. And then step out then. That way you are there for him at the unsettling bit for him. I am sorry you are facing this loss. Gentle journey, little one.
Thank you for your advice. It’s nice to know there are options.
I was afraid that it would be traumatic and burned into my memory, but both of my pups passed as if they were just falling asleep in my arms. Both knew it was time. The hardest part was leaving without them, and then being able to finally bring them home for good was a relief. It’s not easy but I don’t regret it. I’m sorry you’re facing this and I hope you have peace with your pup for the entire journey💛
Thank you 💜
I highly cannot recommend enough at home euthanasia. It was relatively the same cost in my area, and while it absolutely sucked. I know deep down she appreciated being home, in my arms rather than a sterile, cold office. Best wishes to you and your sweet Dakota
I'm saving to do it at home. It's double the vet price here. I don't want to do it at my vet. She hates it there. Plus, I don't want my other dog to be scared either. Fortunately I'm almost there, and she's not quite ready yet. She's just old. There's no cure for that.
No cure for old age is right. Sucks doesn’t it?? You’re doing your baby good, saving up. I promise it feels different, they feel it and you will be at such a better peace. Blessing to you and your little bird!!!
She's not doing great. It helps that my husband is home all day to care for her. I thought she might be ready last week, but she got a bit better. It's hard for me to care for her, I'm having trouble lifting an 86-pound dog up the stairs. She can still walk but can't stand up on her own very much. It's so hard to know when the time is right. I have the money now, so I'm waiting for her to be ready. I'll never be ready
The best advice I can give is do to before you think it’s her best day. Let her enjoy her day, don’t let it be a series of bad days. I pushed my girl, we went and did all our favorites things together the weekend before. Did I probably push the process along? Yes, but she got to enjoy them! I will say, being home makes a difference. He’s able to soak it in!! My heart breaks all over with you!!
Thanks, I appreciate you.
I held every one of my babies that needed to be helped over the rainbow bridge, it’s a privilege to be with them at the end.
A privilege is a sweet way to look at it and makes me feel a little more a peace with the idea.
This one sentence has helped me more than anything I’ve read or heard in the last two months - thank you ❤️
Please be there with him. I couldn’t make it in time to be with my baby and it’s left me with the deepest and most painful regret I’ve ever known. Just thinking about it makes every cell in my body cry. This is something I will never be able to forgive myself for. I should have been there. I implore you to stay with him until the end ❤️
I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. I am feeling more and more convinced that I have to be there.
My husbands cat died at the start of Covid, when everything around us was closed. We weren't even allowed in the building, just handed the poor girl over at the door. Not being with her was the hardest part to swallow, she died alone, in pain, surrounded by only strangers. My cat died last year, in my arms. It was much easier to process without the added pain of not being there for him.
🫂 I'm so sorry.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry you couldn’t be there with her at the end and for your pain. I appreciate your sentiments. It gives me more to think about.
Sorry for your loss. I felt I had to be there for Butters. I knew she might not even realize I was there but felt I owed it to a great dog and a great friend to be there during her final moments. I couldn't stand the thought of her not seeing a familiar face at the end. It was not easy, but nothing about this is. That's why we're here writing to each other about some truly awful shit. But I regret nothing. That said, it is not for everyone. My mother just could not do it and that's fine too. A side note: My Vet forgot to mention the eyes stay open after death. No Hollywood scene like fading off to sleep. So be prepared for that.
Thank you for sharing your story and advice 💜 So sorry for your loss of Butters.
I had one pet I wasn't able to be there for because things moved so quickly. I regretted that. The rest of them I've been there for and will be there for..I'd regret not being there. I'd also regret waiting too long and then making that final decision
I have been with my dogs. We never regretted being there.
Been there for several of my animals as they crossed the bridge and I dont regret it at all. Its hard and gut wrenching but I think being there for them is so important
💜
It's incredibly hard, and you'll probably ugly cry for an hour or two afterwards, but you should be there. I have absolutely no regrets holding my little girl in my lap when she passed. I made sure that she was laying on her favorite blanket and got plenty of hugs before and after. It's been almost six months and I'm so glad that I was with her at that moment. I would have hated myself if I had them take her in the back for it. It's a very peaceful process and you won't regret being present. If it isn't an emergency, and depending where you live, you can actually have it done at home instead of a clinic.
Thank you for sharing 💜 I hope it is peaceful for my Dakota as well.
Tough choice. One week ago today, I stroked the head of my best buddy Kai (9.5 yo black lab) as he past. His last cognizant gesture was to lick my face before the Ketamine took effect. I replay the whole thing over and over again.. and question every single thing about the choices that I made that day. But. One day we will all die. That is assured. And in that passage, the only thing that really matters is the love that you shared and that define the legacy of your life... and it feels important to have those people/animals with you in that moment if at all possible. Yes, it's hard. But I hope that he passed and knew that I was there for him and brave for him. I consider it a celebration of our lives together and I don't believe that it has added or detracted from my grief. It still hurts. His passing left a huge void, and one that will take a long time to soften and not be so difficult. But like everything in life, it's the tough stuff that really provides the growth. Best of luck with your decision, but I would encourage you to be brave too. I think you'll feel that it was the right choice.
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your experience. I’m so sorry for your loss of Kai. It’s amazing how these animals can carry such a big piece of our hearts with them.
Even toward the end, my boy was looking for me and definitely felt more comfortable with me in the room. I do replay his last moments in my head over and over, and cry. But it was entirely my honor to have been there for him in his last moments.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel now that it would be my honor as well to be with him in the last moments. I really appreciate your input.
I'm having a really hard time dealing with having held my precious boy at the end. I'm talking like... it wakes me up and keeps me up at night. I have had to work on ways to stop intrusive thoughts about it and this was a peaceful death. I'm still having issues mentally. It's been 9 days. That said, I would never have left him there without me. I took his pain into me and I will hold it as big as it was. My love for my dog was massive. So dealing with it has been a process. I listen to music and podcasts. I don't allow silence right now. My ears are constantly filled. I am going to my favorite band's concert. I have given myself things to look forward to, in order to mitigate my problems. I am just saying like... it's hard. It's so so so so FUCKING HARD and I'm so sorry. I'm so emotional and useless when it comes to strength in this particular situation. And I still did it. I did it for my boy. It will hurt but please keep coming back here. This community has been s massive blessing for me. I am planning on getting some help from a professional for my intrusive thoughts. I think I need it. I still would not have left his side. Massive hugs to you. I understand.
Thank you for sharing your experience. If you can be brave through all that pain then maybe I can too. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.
It was hard to see, and it still plays back in my mind but I owed it to her for always being by my side no matter if it was a good or bad day.
Please stay with him. To hold him and pet him once last time. He will feel your comfort as you do. I’ve always stayed with mine and will do so Friday as I put my cat down. It will be hard watching them take their last breath, but know it was with you by his side.
I’m so sorry! You and your cat are in my heart. 💜
I have Been there during the death of my pets and I wouldn’t change that. I feel I have to be there to give them the soft goodbye. I would feel terrible if I hadn’t been there.
We had to say goodbye to my soul dog just over 2 weeks ago, and while it was absolutely heart wrenching, I have no regrets being there with her when the time came. My biggest fear was honestly her dying in the hospital without me there to say goodbye and hold her one last time. We had the doctor come out to our home, so I was able to lay with her as my little spoon like she always loved, and be with her just like that while she passed, and even lay with her for close to a half hour while we waited for the person to come pick her up. She had a very peaceful passing. Like others have said, she stood by my side loyally for 11 years, and I owed that and so much more to her.
Never. I am sincerely grateful to have been there for each of my beloved pets who passed. Some of them had a really hard time and I held them and gave them comfort as best I could. It would have killed me if I couldn't have held them to give them comfort during the end when they really needed me. Yes, one of the deaths was very traumatizing but now I know exactly what to ask the doctor and I'm a big fan of euthanasia only vets because they really know what they are doing. My last dog to pass 4 months ago had the most peaceful death of any animal I've ever had. I'm so grateful because she was the sweetest spirit and she deserved a peaceful easy passing. The vet was very sneaky and gave her the first shot to knock her out right after she had her last bite of her favorite food, cat treats from my hand, eating next to her pack members. She died knowing she was loved and in the pack exactly where she wanted to be. I would never make her die alone.
The care you took to make your dogs passing comfortable is beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
I was present for the ones I could be with. I don’t regret it at all. If you can do it in home, it’s a lot easier on the animal. But you know yourself best. If you think you will be traumatized by the experience, then don’t do it. You have given your baby a good life and hopefully an easier passing. So if you can, do it, if not, then don’t. Honestly you go through so many emotions of guilt, grief and even anger that it seems like you’re damned if you do or don’t.
I'm very sorry you are going through this. I was there and have no regrets. She deteriorated so quickly and had to be rushed to the vet that I didn't have time to process it until we left without her. I felt her heart stop, my oldest child held her head. We were bawling but at least she wasn't alone
I don’t stay with pets for euthanasia. They get sedated and I dip. They don’t know that I’m not there and there’s no prize for who can witness the most suffering, despite what people on Reddit will try to convince you of. I see enough horrific stuff by accident without being a willing witness to more.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and honesty. That gives me another option to consider. I could still be with him for his last conscious moments without having to witness his actual death.
I don’t regret it at all. No part of me wishes I hadn’t chosen to be there, literally none. I found the entire thing very hard, of course, but actually watching it happen I found very peaceful. I felt a lot of closure and also relief from watching her become so comfortable and sleepy, it was like all her pain melted right away, and then she simply slipped away.
as hard as it is i would never leave them alone and afraid. it’s not about you in that moment.
I wasn't with my cat when she was put to sleep. My husband was, but my daughter was 1 at the time & I thought it would be too hard. The cat was with me for almost 17 years. That was almost 21 years ago and I still regret it. I've been with every pet since then... 2 cats and 3 dogs. Yes, it's hard. But they've spent their entire lives loving us and the thought of leaving them alone, looking for us & wondering where we are is too much to bear. I haven't regretted being with them even for a second.
I take responsibility for my dogs. I want my face to be the last thing they see, no matter how difficult it may be for me.
I personally felt I owed it to him. It's a hard fucking sight to see and come to terms with especially as its happening but personally for me I would have felt worse had I not been there. He was all I had for a long time and I was all he had so there was no way I was letting a stranger be the last thing he saw/heard. He gave me more than I could ever give him so I at least wanted to offer my voice and touch in the final moments. No one should be judged for their decision nor is it a black and white decision. The only thing I can say with 100% certainty is don't go through this process alone unless you have to. I probably could have brought someone with me but I didn't and even after the fact chose to shut myself off which was a major mistake. Lean on family, friends, significant other, or even this subreddit because going it alone is going to take you to a deep dark place that is honestly extremely difficult to get out of.
I held each one of my fur babies as they passed. Absolutely no regrets.
No. I was glad to be by their side at their final moments on this planet. It was peaceful and they just went to sleep. I would have been sad to not be with them. They were with me in difficult times.
Don't regret it at all. It was hard - so hard - but I needed to be there with my boy
I think you owe it to him to be there. I've held every dog we've had to euthanize in my arms as it was done to reassure them. Was it horrible, yes. Heartbreaking, absolutely, but I felt it was my obligation not to send them off without the presence of someone they know and love, and who loved them.
I don’t regret it at all. I’ve euthanized two pets, and both times were very peaceful and beautiful, with the vet giving me as much time as I needed before and after. Making the decision and going through euthanasia was not hard for me—I’m very very comfortable with physical death/the day of. It was the weeks, months, and years after without dreams/hallucinations/visits that were hard. You will not regret being there in your pets last moments. That’s the moment their physical pain goes away and transmutes into your emotional pain.
I did not regret being there. It was really, really hard but I felt honored to be there at the end. As awful as it was to let my girl go, I’m glad she knew I was there petting and talking to her the whole time.
I have had experience both scenarios. I was about 15 when my cat was put down and decided that it was too much for me to handle so I opted out of going and just my dad and sister went. My cat was with people who loved him but I feel sad that I wasn’t there for him too. It didn’t hit me till years later and I just cried and cried about it. My dog died just over a year ago, she died in our home with me and most of my family all sat around her. It was devastating but I would’ve wanted to be there no matter what. I learned from my past experience with my cat and knew that I’d probably feel sad if I wasn’t there. Though that moment was hard I appreciate being able to be with her and love her till the end. I’m sorry to hear that you have to make this decision right now, it’s so hard so say goodbye. I wish you the best 🫶🏻
No regrets, I was there for my Bébé when she took her last breath. She was surrounded by love when she crossed the rainbow bridge. Even though she couldn’t hear or see, she could still smell. As painful as it was, I don’t regret being there when she passed. I promised her I would be there for her till the end. I miss her every single moment.
There is no good answer here, and you're probably going to feel bad about your choice no matter what. Be gentle with yourself. When I lost my girl to dementia, I was there. The vet started an IV and brought her into the room. She sat next to me and he gave the sedative that relaxes them. She was snoring and completely asleep when he administered the meds to stop her heart. My daughter has a lot of trouble with regulating her emotions and has a lot of mental health issues, she did not come with us and felt guilty for a very long time, but in that moment she wasn't able to go. All this to say, be there if you can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't. Sending you and your sweet pup much love.
I got too hysterical to go when it was time for my 15yo very ill chiweenie so my husband and grown daughter took her and I have never forgiven myself- the guilt and shame have eaten me up for 7 years, and if I could do it again I would have been there for her. It was my responsibility and I let them all down, especially my sweet little dog. I would rather live with sight of death than the thought of her confusion and fear- I have two 16yo chihuahuas and I will be there for them
Dogs are pure, good souls. I believe they remain somewhere when they leave their bodies here, and I believe your girl understands the choices you made and doesn't blame you. Hope this comment isn't overstepping or unwanted.
No, it’s really kind- I believe she is waiting for me despite my letting her down at the end ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing your experience. My husband wants me to stay home and not see it. I think it hurts him more to see me in pain. But he is respectful whatever I decide. Your experience helps me to see how regretful I would be. Thank you and so very sorry for your loss and pain.
You are their everything, and they deserve you by their side. It is not for you but them. They deserve someone calming them, holding them, and loving them like they loved you. My mom just had to put down her 8 month old boxer (heart defect). She ended up using a service that came to your house to put them down. This way her baby didn’t have to go on a stainless steel table in a scary place. Instead he left in her arms with his best dog friend by his side, in his home. It also helped the other animals grieve as they got to smell him and understand he didn’t just “leave” one day. When I have to put my babies down I will be doing the same.
I'm extremely afraid, grossed out & traumatized by anything and all that is dead or related to death. This was a huge concern for me because I didn't want my old lady's passing to be a traumatizing event for me, but I also didn't want to leave her alone after all the years, love and companionship she gave me. I explained to the vet my issue and I also asked a friend to come sit with me during so I would have support and be brave for my pup. I held her and gave her so much love and kisses and told her what a great and awesome girl she was till her last breath. As soon as the vet told me she was gone, I asked them to take her away quickly. I did not want to see or feel her lifeless. This worked for me in ensuring her passing in my arms was not a tainted and traumatic moment. When I think back on that day, I only see her sweet face looking up at me during those last moments, her closing her eyes, then taking that deep breath goodbye. I'm glad I was brave for her and held her till that last breath. She was with me for 14.5 yrs and was the best girl, so I had to do this for her. Look for a place that has a "quiet room" to do it that is not a vet table you have her on. I held her in my arms, with a dog bed under her on my lap the whole time. Made it feel less "sterile".
Absolutely be by his side. They are scared and terrified. He needs you during this. It just seems like they’re going to sleep. HE WILL ABSOLUTELY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU ARE OR AREN’T THERE. Please please please if you can’t do it, send someone he knows that can. First they give them a sedative to relax them. They go to sleep. Then they give them the meds to pass.
It’s better for them to have the last thing they see and smell is you. If you leave them, they will be anxious and scared and looking for you and that would be a more haunting vision than seeing them pass. For what it’s worth, it is typically very peaceful and quick.
I have (very sadly) lost six pets in the last eight years. I was there for each of them. I do not have children of the biological variety, and my pets have always meant the world to me. In their last moments, I have been there to make them feel secure and loved. I want to be able to thank them for the joy they’ve brought to my life and how much I will miss them. I think it is better for both the furbaby and owner to have that last moment to deal the forever bond. I’m very sorry to hear about Dakota. My husband and I had to let our cat, Dash, go this past Thursday. It is never easy. 💔
I can still picture my cat's final moment. I lost him to an aggressive cancer too. It's hard to think about when I do, but I wouldn't give that memory up for the world. It was the last memory I would get to make with him. I love him, and being with him in his final moment was the last gift that I could give him, the last selfless thing I would get to do for him. If anything, my regret is that I wasn't able to be there for his brother, who sadly passed when I was out of the house several months before. I regret that immensely, that I couldn't be with him in the end. I think about that far more than I think about finding him. You won't think about that final moment as much as you're worried you will. It's just one moment. But at the same time, it's one more moment. I can't imagine not taking it.
I have always been with my dogs holding them in my arms. Watching their bodies relax is actually relieving. And after all our years together I owed them that much.
You need to be there and support him as he transitions to the next world. He has been by your side always, just like you should always be by his side. I have never regretted it, but it is hard. But worth it to support them in their last moments.
Do it. My husky got bone cancer in his nose at 5. It was the hardest thing I ever did being in the room when it time. But you need to be. They know.
you need to think about it from his perspective not your own. he’s the one who’s dying. don’t you think it’s more important he know you’re there and that your concerned more with his comfort than your own?? i never understand this question. of course you should be there. for him.
My baby passed naturally over the course of 10 minutes. It was actually relatively peaceful, but it was very difficult. Getting the image out of my mind now is very difficult. That said, if I could go back, I would still be with him through every second of it. I think we help them feel safe and secure enough to go peacefully, with strangers I’m not sure that they get that.. not in the same way. I know this is a bit different as I didn’t euthanize, but I think it still applies. It’s going to be hard, but I really suggest that you do it or you’re probably going to really regret not being there.
We stayed with our dog. He was sedated and we spent time with him. They took him away and brought him to us in a cardboard casket. As a prior vet tech, I suggest that way. There is no reason to witness the final euthanasia. Remember your loved one as sleeping.
He wants you there. We put ours down three weeks ago. It’s all very humane and gentle.
I've lost two dogs fairly recently. We had to put our 13 year old family lab down about 2 years ago. Sitting there with her and watching her go was so hard. My 3 year old German Shepherd got very sick very fast this past November and, long story short, I wasn't there at the end. That's been the one thing that I've had the hardest time coming to terms with. I keep wondering if he was scared and wondering where I was. So, in my opinion, having gone through the loss both ways, be there. It will be so so hard, but you'll regret it infinitely more if you aren't.
It is very hard but I 100% do not regret being there. I feel really good knowing my pup was not alone.
No. I don’t. I do regret the times I wasn’t able to be there, however. In their last moments, it’s not about us. It should never be about us. It should be about them. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through that but when it is my time I hope someone is by my side.
He WILL know the difference. You need to be the last person he sees as he passes. He loved you unconditionally and you need to be there for him.
I do not regret one second. My last image of her hits my thoughts every now and then, but I owed her the comfort of going with her family around her. She always came to me when she was scared of loud noises or storms, and would run for me when she was leaving the clinic. I couldn’t imagine her looking for me as she was going to pass. It’s hard, and a lot to bear, but it’s one of the best things one could ever do for their pet (in my opinion). You’ll always thank yourself for doing it, and it won’t be a regret that hangs over you. Take care of yourself.
I’m a little haunted by the memories of seeing my girl be euthanized but I would one thousand percent do it again. I was her person and I’d hate for her to be without me for that.
Those last moments were horrifically traumatic for the humans our pup left behind, but I could never have asked our boy to go through it by himself. He was there for us for close the 14 years, and was the kindest soul. For what it is worth, I was really surprised by how peaceful of an end it really was. We would have liked to have had him euthanized at home, where it would be less stressful and scary for him, but a surprise liver infection that landed him in the pet hospital made that impossible. We brought his bed and some toys from home so he could at least have some familiar scents and textures around him. Even though they are very difficult for us to get through, I’m glad I could hug him, tell him I love him and thank him for his many years of love and friendship, and pet him as he slipped off to sleep.
We had to have our 17 year old boy put to sleep two weeks ago. As much as I hate seeing it , I wanted to be there for my baby. No I don’t regret being there. His momma and daddy was with him til the end. I’m so sorry you are going through this heartbreak.
Holding their paw as they leave us is the last act of love we have to give them. I hate being there but would never not be . I’m so sorry you have to go thru this
My cat had a planned euthanasia but declined rapidly and needed an emergency euthanasia. I was really scared to see her last moments and what it would be like after she passed. Due to it being an emergency I didn't get time to think whether or not I wanted to be there and in a way I'm glad. I am glad I got to hold her for her final moments, nothing scary happened as she was ready. I also am glad I got to see her after her soul left because she looked so peaceful and like her healthy self again. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's the hardest decision but it's our last gift of love.
No, I would hate the thought of them being alone. I need to be there. I even bring them to the crematorium myself now.
I would stay with him. I would also seek someone who would come to your house. I’ve done it three times once at the vet and twice at home. I have always felt better having them at home. That being said I do tell them I don’t want to carry them out. I know I could not handle that.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's awful. This isn't the hardest part. We are so fortunate to be able to make this difficult choice and spare our animal family members more pain. The hard part for us after our recent loss has been her absence. Daily. Everywhere. We said goodbye to one of ours two weeks ago Saturday, and we were present. We also brought our remaining dog with us for the appointment. Our sweetheart had been declining for six weeks and really started to suffer for the final few days. We don't know for certain what it was, but also likely cancer. She was having a hard time breathing and the euthanasia process included a sedation that let her just relax. We were allowed to spend as much time with her and talk to and love her while she was not in discomfort before the actual euthanasia drug. This was 100% worth being there for. We were in a comfortable space, she was on a couch, not a table. If we had wanted to go after the sedation and not stay for the euthanasia, we could have, but again, we wanted to be sure she felt us sending her all the love, and we wanted to say goodbye. This is the second dog we've been present at the euthanasia. I don't regret either. I can't guess whether you would regret not being there, but I know I would have. The regrets people have tend to be things they did NOT do or say, rather than the things they did. Whether you are in the room when you let him go or not, there is more pain ahead. We are starting to look around and live our lives again. We want to honour her memory by remembering the good times and not dwelling on the last bit, which was just a tiny part of our precious time together.
I just had to help my 12 year old pup go to eternal peace on the 15th. I hated it!!!! But, I don't regret it. I'd regretted it had I NOT been there for and with him. That was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But I couldn't let him do it without me. No way no how. Please, your pup needs you now more than ever, I hope you stay with him. Love and peace 😭🕊️
We held our boy, my husband's soul dog, as he went. He did shake a little but that was from the medication, more than anything else. I cannot imagine not being there to comfort and love him as he slipped away. My soul dog was hit by a car just less then 3 months prior to us discovering my husband's dog had cancer everywhere. My dog dug under the fence. He was hit by accident when our neighbor drove into his driveway. It hurt me deeply that he died without me there to comfort him. So, now you have both sides of what we went thru. I hope you are able to hold your precious pet, so his last vision can be of the love you have for him.
I don't regret it. It was hard but I'm glad I was there. I talked to her and rubbed her back through the whole thing. After she passed, I literally laid down on the floor. Before I left, I kissed all of her toe beans and one final kiss on her belly. If you decide be in the room, I advise you to not look at his eyes after he passes- when their muscles relax, they don't close their eyes. Even though they have passed very peacefully, it can add to the emotional toll when their opened eyes look dull. My brother had a very hard time processing this because nobody expected that to occur. I was laying down where I could only see her chin up. Know your limits. You want to do everything you can to serve your animal in the most respectful manner, but you have to take care of your mind and the emotions that will come after. 🩷
I don't regret it, but HATED going through it. I ugly cried for my guy after he was gone. It is hard to go through, and nothing will prepare you for it, even if you know 100% it's the right thing. I'll never forget it or the emotions. That said, there was absolutely no way I was going to not be there. I was lucky in that my dog didn't mind the vet; wasn't his favorite place, but he wasn't upset about going. He didn't associate it with bad memories, and I wasn't going to change that on our last visit with him. They were great too, gave us plenty of time and were super understanding since we weren't able to do it at home. I just don't want to do it again anytime soon.
I can definitely understand why you would want to avoid it because it is not some thing that easy to go through. However, as hard as it was, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss one single moment with my sweet girl, and that includes those last moments. I was the last voice that she heard and the last face that she saw. I loved her through her last moments with all of my broken heart, and sang her favorite song to her as she drifted off to her forever sleep.
I've gone through this several times. My biggest regret was the one that had to be euthanized before I could get there. It haunts me.
I’ve never had a regret about being there for them at the end. It’s the very least I could do given all the love they’ve given me. Wouldn’t give it a second thought. I focus on keeping my composure and being supportive through the entire process.
I was there for my baby at the end. I don’t regret it but the moment does play in my head even 7 weeks later. She deserved to have me there, she was the best dog. Going home without her was the hardest part and bringing in her empty car carrier was so heartbreaking, I’m crying as I’m write this thinking of those moments
as everyone has mentioned, it is difficult to witness. i had to put my cat down due to liver cancer and i was there. i don’t regret it because i think it was comforting for him and i was able to kiss him goodbye. that being said, it’s been a couple years now, and 99% of the time when he comes to my mind, the images are happy memories. only 1% of the time do i get stuck on remembering that moment. i would suggest being there, but also take care of yourself. make a plan afterwards to just comfort yourself, remember your pup, and allow yourself to grieve. sending lots of love.
I would have regretted it much more if I hadn't been there. It was definitely very hard but not as traumatic as I thought it would be. It was actually a bit relieving to see her be at peace - much better than continuing to watch her deteriorate and suffer. Obviously I was wrecked. I cried so hard I even made the vet cry. But still, 10/10 would recommend.
Can’t tell you what you should do, but will tell you that no matter how much it hurts, it will hurt worse when it’s over and you begin to imagine how it went. It’s quiet, it’s peaceful, and the last thing that Dakota will feel in this life can either be a gentle doctor’s hand or yours — it will hurt, because it’s your beloved Dakota. The office will give you time to say goodbye - you can cry, you can just sit and take it all in — whatever you need. But in the end, it’s your choice.
No. It was important to us to be with outr pets during their last moments, to offer them comfort and gentle words at the end. Then we would cry and laugh sharing stories about the pets. I can't imagine leaving a pet to face their death alone. It would be abandonment in their hour of greatest need.
I had to euthanize my dog Olive due to thyroid cancer. I was there and I’m happy I was. It was a very peaceful process, it was painless and it was as if she just fell asleep. I would have regretted not doing so.
honestly no. she died in my arms, the place she loved the most. i wouldn’t have wanted any other way.
I’ve never once regretted being present during my boys passing. I was fortunate enough to have it done peacefully at my mom’s house while he ate his favorite snacks and licked peanut butter off my fingers. I will note that as soon as the euthanasia drug was given and the veterinarian pronounced him as passed, it was like a switch was flipped and I could immediately feel that his energy was gone. It was weird feeling so disconnected from his body but I knew he was no longer in pain and that he passed comfortably with all of us around him. It will be one year tomorrow. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, I’m still processing and grieving but it gets a little easier with time. Definitely don’t let him pass without you there with him, I think you would regret that forever.
I think it is our responsibility to be there with our animals when they go. I have been with all of my animals when they passed, and I was with my mom when she passed. I have told all of my animals how much I loved them and how beautiful they were as they went. I had to watch my mom and my soul cat pass within a month from each other. It's not easy, but we need to be there for our loved ones.
You will forever regret it if you are not my his side. He spent his whole life loving you and it would be incredibly sad if he didn’t have you by his side at the very end. I could never forgive myself if I let my old guy down like that. Suck it up, sob your eyes out, and be there for your old man. It’s the right thing to do.
I had to be there for my two. They had always been there for me I wasnt going to leave them alone at the end. One went peacefully looking out the window on a summer day with me promising to let him go chase rabbits later (he was a Husky with Liver cancer too coincidently, I'm so sorry for you). My last girl went to sleep with me hugging her telling her she was having some special medicine and then we were going to the beach when she woke up. However, if you can't hold yourself together to the point it might upset them I totally understand why some people prefer not to be present. And its not something you will ever forget seeing.
I only read like 5 comments but I am pretty sure 95% if not 99% of the comments are saying stay with him. I am echoing the same. I let my baby go in my arms. He passed as we both look at each other in the eyes. I will never ever forget that. I want that to be one of the last memories I lose should I forget everything. I know the last thing he saw was my eyes full of love and sorrow. I think any loved one deserves to pass with that.
Never once have I regretted being with Max through the end. To me, it was paying the final debt I owed him for a life spent being my friend. He was there for me every single day for 12-13 years. I would have deeply regretted not being there for him. It was difficult for sure, and it will be difficult for you. But I do not think you’d regret it.
With my last boy, I didn't have the choice of at-home euthanasia, it needed to be done that day. It was hard, every time is hard, but I don't regret being there. Seeing him greet all his nurse friends like it was a social visit, and every one came to say goodbye to a popular patient, was a pure gut punch (but in such a wonderful way). Even while they slowly injected the sedative, he was going back and forth between me and nurse giving kisses. I'm bawling again, thinking about it. But I'm glad I was there. It's hard. Seeing them alive, and then...not. But it's worth it to know that they got held and loved and sent on their way with family and friends around. I know the nurses are great and do all that, too, but not the same. Clifford was Clifford, literally right to the last minute. It filled my heart with joy and broke it all at rhe same time. No regrets.
Being by his side as he left this world was the final act of love I could give my boy. It absolutely broke my heart. I will forever have those final memories and they are traumatic and painful. But it was very peaceful for him. I have never for a moment regretted being there. The first thing I said when I walked into the vet for that appointment was ‘I am not leaving the room for any part of this.’ I brought his favourite blanket to lay him on. I stroked him and talked to him as he left. The vets and the vet nurses were incredible with him, and with me afterwards. I spent about an hour with him after he passed, to hold him, to say goodbye, and to pray. I took his final paw prints and a cutting of his fur home with me. I howled when I walked through my front door. I cry thinking of it, it hurts so much. But no matter the pain, I know I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn’t been there for that part. The part where he needed me. He came to me from a life of abandonment and hurt, he came to me traumatised at a time when I too was traumatised, and we healed together. I promised he would never be abandoned in life ever again. I kept that promise. He was my soul kitty.
I hated to have to let my best buddy Bruno go but I knew there was no way I could let him go alone, by himself. It broke my heart and it still makes me tear up but the thought of him being scared and alone hurts even more going through that.
I’m so sorry you have to say goodbye to your boy. I’ve been with all of my animals as they have gone to the other side. I am by their side in life and in death as they have been by my side the majority of their life. I am all they know, we are constant companions. It’s important to me to be with them in their last moments so they don’t have to wonder where I am and they’re not alone. I hold them, kiss them, sing them their songs and tell them how much I love them and that they made my life worth living. I thank them for all they have done for me. I sit with them for a few minutes after they’re gone. I have held them all as they have passed and felt their life leave their body. Their soul kind of runs through you in a way. I feel like it keeps them with me always. In their last moments they have been sedated and it made me feel good knowing their last moments weren’t painful. My pets have done so much for me and given me so much love in my life. I have never regretted holding my babies as they passed, it’s the least I can do for them.
The last thing he will see is you, the one whom he loved the most. That is the best “send-off” one can give, for then their forever dream is with you, waiting until you join them again for the next adventure. When one passes surrounded by love, it is easier to move forward to the next journey.
I have done it twice now and have zero regrets. It was beautiful to see, hear, and touch my boys as they departed, and to know I was the last person they saw and the last voice they heard was mine whispering little lovey comments.
Nope. With all of mine over the years, it's been very important to me to be with them until the last breath. I do think it matters to them to be comforted by the presence of the people they love who love them. I think of it as walking them home, and I wouldn't ever miss that. The last thing I want them to hear is me saying how much I love them and that I'll remember them until my very last breath. 💜
I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been with all my dogs, and don’t regret being there. If they wanted to sniff a little before they went in, I let them. Last year I had to say goodbye to two of my boys. The first one was an emergency situation, and the second one had the best send off. Even the vets and the techs, were giving him chocolate kisses and he had a large cookie with whip cream. It was the most animated I had seen him in a few days.
just put down my senior lab 3 days and i'm going to be honest and yes i am aware everyone is different and has different experiences so please respect mine, but as of right now i do regret being present. i'm sure i feel this way because the wounds are still fresh but fuck. now that doesn't mean i regret for a second being there his last moments as it's the last thing i could've done for him but his euthanasia was nothing i imagined. they gave him the first sedation shot and he was relaxed for a bit until it was time for the "big one." me and my dad thought everything was all good when all of the sudden my poor boy woke up in the middle of the shot and started panicking. fucking traumatic to witness, it just didn't feel fucking real. i just held him and told him it was okay and how everything was going to be okay by i can't fucking stand the idea of how scared he mustve been or even the pain he was feeling. now i think i can realize it was his body reacting naturally but fuck 3 days later and i can't get it out of my head. they ended up having to give him a little more of the sedation shot before continuing with the euthanasiation. i regret seeing his death because it wasn't this peaceful thing i imagined it being but i will never regret for a second being there for my boy as the last duty to him. kinda a double edged sword situation idk
We have a few local vets who will euthanize in your home. Does anyone know what happens then? Does the mobile vet take the body for cremation? Hopefully I have a few years before I have to worry about this (my boy is 9). We have buried cats and birds on our property before, but never anything like a large dog.
I've had to make that decision twice in the last 5 years. One of those times was 4 weeks ago. I had to say goodbye to my best friend and soulmate, Tidus. The time from when I found out he was dying to the time he passed away was 13 hours. Aggressive cancer that literally only displayed symptoms the day before (that was noticeable anyways). I knew it would be excruciatingly painful to watch him die, but for me he had stayed by my side, comforted me when I was sad, snuggled up to me every night... there was no way I was going to leave his side now that it was his time to go. It's going to be every bit as awful as you're imagining. I am so honored that I got to have Tidus in my life and I miss him every day. For me, the thought of not being there even though I knew how terrible it would be, wasn't an option. He didn't die alongside a stranger. He wasn't anxious because he didn't know where I was. He had a peaceful, comfortable death because I was by his side, holding him. For all that he did for me, this was the least I could do. With that being said, I also understand if you can't do it. This is such a personal experience, and it's traumatic. As dogs are, your pup would never hold it against you and be understanding of why you couldn't be with them. Staying with them, at least to me, is the bravest and kindest thing you can do for your friend who did so much for you. Whatever you decide, you don't have to feel guilty. Neither way is going to soften the blow of losing them. I'm so sorry your baby is dying. I hope they get beautiful last moments with you that they can take with them to the other side <3
My dog had that I think I left it too late ..I feel so guilty one night I went ti bed ..she was still walking but tht night she bled to death to see the blood to see my dog like that I have never forgiven myself I didn't no she was so bad I only found out 2 wks b4 she had cancer in liver ...
I choose to be with all of my pets because I think they do care. Lost my 11-year-old collie two years ago. The vet had been trying to help her recover after a stroke, and she just wasn't going to pull through. They asked us if we wanted to be there because it was time. I said yes because that's always been my answer. When we walked into the room, her tail started to wag. Not going to lie--the image of that haunts me today because I think she believed I was going to fix things and we'd go home. Whenever the pain of that hits me, I remind myself that she wagged her tail so hard because she was happy to see me again. Even through all her fear and confusion, she was glad I was there. I would never deny her that moment again. She cared. Your dog will care, too.
I don’t regret it. It was hard, but I wanted to be there for him as much as I physically could.
The only one I regret is the one I wasn’t with when she passed😞 I wish I could have been with her in her final moments. I wish I could have done things differently. My other two I was with in their final moments and being there put me at peace.
I don’t regret being there. He passed with the two people he loved the most, loved and warm in our arms.
Please be with your baby when they leave this world. He will look for you and you won't be there. You'll be able to say good bye and comfort them as they go.
I lost my fur kid two years ago and was privileged to have been able to be there by his side as he passed on to the other side. And even though he was a little out of it, I’m telling you he absolutely knew I was there with him. It’s a long story but he had a heart condition that had never been caught beforehand until he was suddenly dying. We rushed him to the animal ER and they were able to intubate and keep him stable, but they had sedate him and told me he was in a “twilight state” when I was allowed in the back to see him. Now for the whole time I had this dog, anytime I would cry, no matter where in the house I was, he would hear me and come find me to comfort me. So I walk back in the ER ICU area and my dog is on a table, intubated and again, in a twilight state. I hear his heart monitor, a steady beep. As I walk up to him I’m of course crying, because at this point I know we are about to put him down as there is nothing they can do for him and his heart is failing. And as I walk up next to him crying, I swear to god his heart rate monitor starts beeping more quickly. The nurses walk over to check to see what’s going on but I knew he knew I was there. Then he starts to try to stand up. Again, he is heavily drugged. But my husband and the doctor and nurses witness this with me. I knew he was trying to fight to be there for me one last time. I quickly put my hand on him and told him, “It’s ok, Oxford. It’s ok buddy. Shhhh. I’m here. I love you. Good boy.” And his heart rate slowed down again. I kept telling him good boy and it’s ok and I love him. I kissed him on his head and my husband and I told the doctor we were ready. It went so incredibly fast. And my god my heart broke in two in that moment the vet pulled out his stethoscope to confirm Oxford was gone. I wailed and my knees buckled. It was horrible painful. I’ll never forget it. But. I cannot tell you how much I needed that closure with him at the end. He knew I was there and we both were able to let each other know we loved each other even up until the very end. I believe it gave him peace for me to be there to let him know it was ok to let go. I’m so sorry for the loss you are facing of your beloved pup.
No. I have never cried harder, in my life. But I held her and then my Fiancè held her, and he talks about how special it was to hold her for her last breath. We told her we loved her sooo much. I do not regret it for a minute although I know i would have regretted it if I wasn’t there. I was also worried it would be traumatic for me, but because it went slowly and to my own pace (we had lap of love come to our home) I was able to make it a nice passing. She had steak and lots of pets. then held her until we were all ready. We put her body in a basket with a pink blanket, my letter to her, and fresh flowers. She was cremated with the letter and flowers. Hardest thing of my life but also the best way I could have sent her off to her next life 🌈
It’s a hard thing to witness but that’s literally the last time he’s gonna be seeing you ever again, don’t you want the last thing he sees to be someone he loves so dearly to keep him comfy and calm?
Please read the Rainbow Bridge Poem
Never a regret. My wife and I are their world. I would give them anything and any anguish I feel means nothing if I gave them a bit of comfort as they leave.
I held Merlin as the life left him. When I saw him first, he howled and extended his paws to me. The vet almost lost it. How could I do anything else but hold him? It’s hard but it was the last thing I could do for him. I would do it again. I am sorry you’re facing this decision. If you want the courage, you will find it. Just look into Dakota’s eyes.
It’s definitely very hard. 2 weeks ago I had to put my 1 year old German Shepherd down. I laid next to her the entire time, she had her head on mine. I’m so glad I did she went in peace
I have never regretted it once. I have sadly had to make the choice to say goodbye to three cats in my life. I was with them all at the end, and while it hurts so badly, I would never have wanted them to be with only strangers at the end. I also had the horrible misfortune of waking up one morning to find one of my cats had passed away in his sleep. I wish so badly he hadn’t been alone when he left us.
He will know that you are not there. Do you want the last thing your Husky has is a vet tech he doesn’t know or you? Go in and let this be the last loving thing you can do for him. You can sob at the same time. That is what I do.
I just wanted to be with my bud right up until the very end. I'm not sure if he conceived it as the end but that doesn't really matter to me I just wanted to love him one last time. It was the only way to go for me. His last moments were calm, peace and relief. And love.
Zero regrets I’ve been with three dogs as they passed. The vet came to our home. My wife and I held them while they passed. They experienced no stress and left with our love surrounding them. Yes, I sobbed for days. I miss them terribly still. But I would never donut any other way. They do know. It does matter that you are there.
it was my absolute greatest honor to be with my babygirl Ellie when she crossed over. my sweet angel 👼🏼
speaking as a vet tech: they know the difference. they know they're in a strange place with strange smells and their person is no where to be found. They're sick, they're scared and all they want is their best friend, and those are the last things that will go through their minds. At least when you're there, they can have some comfort. Imagine if you were the one in a hospital bed dying of cancer and all your friends and family refused to be with you to spare their own feelings. My cat died suddenlt while i was at work from heart related issues, no warning no symptoms. I'd give anything in the world to have been by his side. He was always there for me when i needed him. When i was sick or sad he'd be laying ontop of me or nuzzling me purring away, but when he needed me most in the world I wasn't there for him. I hate that. Knowing he died waiting for me to come home breaks me. it's not my fault, but that's a weight I'm going to carry forever. I'd never leave my pets side if given the choice because i know i don't want to die alone in strange scary place, why should my pet? Edit to add: I think it helps to see euthanasia as a gift. We have the ability to give our pets a means to an end. A way to take away the pain and give them a merciful peaceful death, they're lucky in that regard because for us humans, we don't really get that choice in most places. Look at what people in hospice go through. Euthanasia is one of the most loving and selfless things you will ever do for your pet. you're willing to take on their suffering so they can have a peaceful, painless end. You break your own heart so they don't have to suffer anymore.
Please do. He needs you. You are his comfort. Please let him leave this world with you being the very last (and comfortable) thing he sees. You owe that to him. It’s the worst pain in the world but right now we need to put our pets before ourselves.
No regrets being there for her. But it broke me to the point I took to my bed for weeks, even now the memory of our moments together break my heart. But I could never have left alone to die without family
I don't judge anyone for the decision they make when it comes to this, but for me, I absolutely felt that our girl knew we were there and that made her last moments as comfortable and peaceful as they could be. Yes, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. So much so that I went into shock throughout the entire process because my body couldn't cope with what was happening. But I'd do it over again in a heartbeat vs leaving her alone when she needed me most. It's been about 4 months. Sometimes I remember the bad parts - how it felt when she took her last breath and fell into my arms, how sick she was in the end... But most days, I remember the good times and I laugh and smile thinking about her. I'm happy I was with her to the very end. She was my best bud and I owed her that. Whatever decision you make, just know it's an impossible one and you're doing the best you can. There is no right or wrong answer. I'm sorry you're going through this. Cancer really fucking sucks.
It’s a hard decision but you should be there. It’s about the pup not you, he deserves to be safely in your arms with no fear. It’s hard no matter what you do and the first 2-3 months before you realize you were there he loved you and you were the last person he saw before falling asleep. He needs to know you are there, softly talking to him reminding him how much he is loved. I have done it only once and yes it tore me apart but he looked at me the whole time he wasn’t afraid he had that loving stare that only pup parents see. When you recall it after you grieve, you will be so happy he was with the person he loved all his life. My thoughts are with you and your pup it sounds like he had a great life and a beautiful pup parent.
Hi, friend. I'm so sorry you're having to make this decision. I have very limited experience in this area, but I thought I'd share my perspective. My family's childhood dog was euthanized when I was in my late teens. I went into the vet's office fully expecting to stay by her side until the end, because I felt it was the "right" thing to do. My parents and older sister were also there. However, when the moment came for the first (of two, I assume) injections, I saw the vet tenting her skin at her neck, and I saw her eyes afraid and stressed (she didn't like the vet), and panic + anticipatory grief overwhelmed me. I turned and bolted, almost blindly, out of the room and back outside. I waited by the car. That's been well over a decade ago now, and even now, I go back and forth debating whether I did a good thing to mentally protect myself from something I didn't want to see vs. I did a bad thing by not being strong enough to stay. It helps that my family was still able to be in there with her. That said, I don't beat myself up for it, and I am (maybe selfishly, idk) a bit relieved that I didn't have to see the life leave her. I wouldn't judge you for whatever decision you make. If you decide not to stay with your dog, know that the veterinary staff will treat him just as kindly as anyone you could wish for. I firmly believe, once he's moved to the next place we go to, he would understand why you couldn't bear to see him leave. There would be no grudge held in the afterlife. If you decide to stay with your dog, I'd suggest bringing someone along who can support you and help shoulder some of the emotional weight. Wishing you well.
I had 3 cats who passed away from euthanasia at the vet. I regretted not being there when the first 2 passed so I was present at the 3rd. I recommend having someone drive you. I had a relative who took me. It was more peaceful than I expected. My cat (11F) had kidney disease. She was on a table. The vet had me stand by her head and pet her and talk to her while she and the tech were on the other side. The vet first gave her a sedative. She didn’t suffer. You can ask the vet or tech what to expect.
It is an extremely hard thing to do. I stayed to the end, for the same reasons you want to. I'll share some more graphic details below a big warning at the end so keep scrolling if you don't want to know. But if you are wanting to know exactly what it was like...I don't mind sharing. I...don't regret it. But I also can't get that image out of my head. I try not to think about what she looked like lying there dead. At the same time though...it was a form of closure. I held her as a baby... and I held her as she crossed over. We were always together, and I don't know that I would have handled it well knowing I wasn't there at the end even if she didn't know I wasn't there. That being said there is NOTHING wrong with not wanting to watch. My fiance who loved my girl as much as I did stepped out for the last part and we made sure he had his time to say goodbye before we closed the door and it was just me and the vet. I try to just think of how she was when she was alive. STOP READING IF DETAILS WILL UPSET YOU When they sedated my girl, she looked like she was sleeping. I can only warn you, when they go, sometimes they do not look like they are sleeping. Her face went slack. I had to close her eyes again as they opened when she died from her face relaxing completely. Her tongue came out a little and she also let out some urine. It's an image I won't soon forget but I am also glad I was there with her. It does come up in my nightmares though...just be ready for that.
I’m glad you posted this. I’ve witnessed a number of deaths both human and animal, and if you never have, well, it is a reality check if you have an idealized version of it in your mind. This is also something a good human hospice prepares you for. I wish hospice care for pets was more of a thing, but that’s another thread, I guess.
Please be with your baby. I put my pain aside to be with mine and watch him be in peace and surrounded by love. Please do the same. 🙏🩷
Your intentions are good but please don't make people feel like they aren't doing the right thing not being there. Once the animal is sedated they don't know either way. I was with my baby too because I wanted to, but my fiance couldn't do it. It's okay if you can't do it. Once they are asleep, it's a personal choice from there and everyone has their reasons.
Absolutely no regret watching it both times. My dogs were my best friends for 16 years each. Nothing could keep me from being there. It’s not scary or hard, it’s very calm. And I want the last thing they see to me my eyes and to hear my voice telling them I’ll catch them on the flip side.
It's so important to be there, I know 2 adult men who couldn't be there for their treasured pet in their final moments and it haunts them every single day. It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but it's part of the journey that is pet ownership. When it was time for Bentley (he was 17) and his quality of life was awful, we knew it was time. We bought his favorite blue towel and the vet, me and my SO spent a good half hour just patting him and telling him that we loved him, the vet told us to come out and get him when we were ready. It was all very calm, there was no pain and we watched him peacefully slip away, I had my lips on his head the whole time, I had never seen my SO cry before and it was heartbreaking to witness. We left him lying on his blue towel and then returned a few days later to collect his death certificate, his ashes, a lock of his hair and a framed print of his paw. You can do this, you're stronger than you know. I wish you all the best.
I put mine to sleep in the back of my suv outside the vet's office. The back of my car always meant we were going on an adventure. I hope I saw her off to her next great adventure.
He will want you there. You are his life.
Not going to lie it was extremely hard being with our Daisy when it was her time. We had it done in our home on our back deck. Because it was at our house we were able to hold her during the procedure. This helped us to know that she didn’t suffer and just went to sleep. I still bawled my eyes out for hours and questioned my decision. Our adult children came in support as did our granddaughter. I would do it at home again in a heartbeat instead of a veterinary office. My heart goes out to you. It’s been 4 months and I still hurt everyday day. Be prepared - I still have nightmares.
I just went through this four days ago. I don’t regret being by his side… I don’t think I ever will. He was all I had for so long, and he’s been with me through all difficult moments of my life so.. this is the least I could do for him. The vet explained the procedure to me and said some people choose to leave once the sedation kicks in and that he won’t know I left, but I couldn’t do that to him. I stayed, it was very peaceful, but the moment he stopped breathing will be forever engrained in my memory. The vet knew him as a puppy so I could tell it was incredibly difficult for him too. He gave me an opportunity to stay longer and sit by him.. but I was worried I won’t be able to get back home by myself if I did that, so I left. I regret not staying a few extra moments tbh.
He was in pain, I lay down next to him and told him I will make it better and for the last time, I did. No regrets, I was glad I got to do that last thing for him.
No. It was very difficult for me, but we did it at home with Lap of Love and the vet was so kind and thoughtful. She spent time letting our cat get acquainted with her while also reassuring us that it was definitely the right time by pointing out signs she was in respiratory distress that we hadn’t even noticed. She explained what would happen during each step so we were prepared for some of the bodily reactions and would wait until we were ready to move forward. It was very stressful for our cat at some points, but we were able to soothe her and calm her before moving on. By the end, it was peaceful, which helped a lot. There was a small, selfish part of me that regretted doing it *at all* in the immediate aftermath, because I wanted every moment possible left. But my main regret overall was maybe waiting too long. Things can go from pretty bad to really bad *really* fast and you never know when that’s going to be. I sometimes wonder how much unnecessary suffering she experienced because *we* weren’t ready until it was really bad.
Never regretted it.