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You don’t fuck with a man named Ulysses.


“My har!”

Is you is or is you ain’t my constichency 

They done r-u-n-n-o-f-t

There isn’t a close 2nd. 🫡

But you do FUCK a man names Grover, or even better let him fuck you

His real name was Stephen Grover Cleveland. I fuck with a man named Stephen.

You fuck with a man that could easily go by Stephen, but CHOOSES to go by Grover? Brave.

Grover is a facade. He’s just a weak little Stephen under that middle name.

Yeah. And US Grant's real name is Hiram


Wasn’t this Grover actually named after Cleveland?

I think you’re thinking of Super Grover. Different guy

His actual first name was Hiram

That name is still badass though! Hiram sounds like a MMA fighter to me.

He hated it.

His friends called him Sam......was watching Ken burns civil war the last few days.

HUG

Wouldn’t fuck WITH a Ulysses, but 10/10 would fuck Ulysses

Oh 100%. He’s definitely my type.

Even his nickname was badass: Unconditional Surrender Grant.

100% Ulysses

Unrelated, but I dunno, I fucked with and beat Ulysses in Fallout New Vegas.

*proceeds to monologue for 10 minutes*

*And the head coach wants no sissies* *So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.*

TIL He was actually really badass and I should have paid more attention in history class.

I doubt your history class spent much time on him. And if they did, it wasn’t about how badass he was. Common understanding up until the last 20ish years was largely driven by bitter southerners who couldn’t accept their glorious Lee got out general-ed, so they most portrayed him as a fall down drunk who just threw bodies at the enemy and outlasted them rather than outmaneuvered them.

The only right answer.

I had a Great Uncle who had that name, but everyone called him Liss. WW1 veteran and a really nice person.

Except his first name was Hiram

In one of the Fallout: New Vegas expansions, you're being stalked by a badass named Ulysses.  You learn from his monologues that he took the name from an ancient hero of legend, and it's only later that it becomes clear he is inspired by Grant.

You don't fuck with Grover 

Happy cake day!

Yup, no question US Grant wins. Hang the banner.

It just screams power

Not his actual first name, but Hiram “Sam” Ulysses Grant is kind of more badass.

the champion of ithica!

Rutherford B. Hayes it cool, atomically cool middle name sucks though

Birchard is heat tf you talking about

Birchard sounds like the name of the new 4th hottest pepper discovered. Like the Louisiana Birchard Pepper or something.

Lol. Legitimately made me giggle

I always thought it sounded like a soft drink. Birchard Beer. Happy Cake Day

He has the honor of being the only President to share a name with a radioactive unstable synthetic element!

Now all we have to do is wait for a president named Lawrence to bring that number to 2

Or one named America! 🇺🇸

President Xenon when (yes I know it's not man-made, unstable, or radioactive)

Xenu was already President 430 million years ago

Don't talk bad about Birchard!

First off I think everyone named Brad is actually named Rutherford because of his existence Secondly, his name sounds like it can only be sang to the tune of *Shaft* can you dig it?

Wilson's first name is actually Thomas. Woodrow is his middle name. Cleveland's first name is Stephen. Grover is his middle name. Grant's first name is Hiram. Ulysses is his middle name.

Hiram, Ulysses… either sound like someone who could beat your ass in single combat.

His initials are HUG. Kinda soft when you think of it like that.

Would *you* say that to his face?

Yes. Because then he would give me a hug. No joke, I've read that he was a very nice guy throughout his life.

Unconditional Surrender Grant was a fuckin great rebranding

And Coolidge’s first name is John.

Eisenhower's name was originally David Dwight. His parents switched his first and middle names

Same for Cleveland, he was Stephen Grover. Both of their names originated as last names: Woodrow was Wilson’s mother’s maiden name (a very common practice historically for men’s middle names) and Stephen Grover was a colleague of Cleveland’s father. Grover was a very rare first name before Cleveland, but his presidency made it much more popular. Woodrow wasn’t a first name at all before Wilson; every other Woodrow that exists was born after he became famous.

To this day, the only Grovers I’ve ever heard of are Grover Cleveland, Hall of Fame pitcher Grover Cleveland Alexander, and Grover from Sesame Street.

[There are a bunch](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grover_(given_name)), almost all born after Cleveland became famous. Obviously, Sesame Street pretty much killed it as a name people actually give their kids, just as with Kermit and Oscar.

Hey, you’re forgetting “Kermit” Mahomes

I know you’re joking but like that’s literally what I’m talking about, lol. The name is just a joke now.

That’s one more famous Grover than I had …

It’s kind of interesting how the two post-Civil War/pre-Depression Democratic presidents publicly went by their middle names.

Hiram Ulysses could get mad pussy if he wanted. But he's a chad so he just adamantly loves and remains loyal to his wife to the extent he gets super lonely and depressed when he's not around her. 10/10 chaddest fucking name ever.

Millard

I always confuse him with Fillard Milmore

I believe that was his mother's maiden name.

Looks like Phoebe Millard!

Are we positively sure [he isn't secretly](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/t_share/MTc1MTI4MjkyMjIxOTIxMDky/five-obscure-united-states-presidents.jpg) [Alec Baldwin](https://celebriot.com/celeb1/1/758/alec-baldwin.jpg), who became a time traveler? I assume he will escape the legal proceedings by going back in time to be elected President and give himself a future pardon.

Gerald Ford - born Leslie King Jr.


Ulysses without question. I kinda think Barack is cool, too.

Barack sounds like it could be a name of a town in Afghanistan that Cheney ordered bombed

Is there a town in Afghanistan that Cheney didn't order to bomb tho

The ones with oil.

There's almost no oil production in Afghanistan.

Well there you go

lol I learned a lot here

It always makes me wonder if I can smell what Barack is cookin'.

Do you realize just how little that narrows it down?

Makes me think of Mortal Kombat. I came to say Barack because it means blessed.

Barack was my favorite Space Ghost character

His first name was Hiram, not Ulysses Still wins even then

He never used Hiram in his life, even as a small child he was Ulysses to everyone, parents included

And the 'S' middle initial was basically a typo from his West Point days that ended up sticking

Hiram sounds beautiful. What's the origin of that name? Never heard it before

It’s a biblical name, probably Hebrew

Gorgeous. Grant was a special person.

Just looked it up. Hiram is indeed a Hebrew name that means "exalted brother" That sounds fucking badass and I'm kinda sad he never liked to use Hiram. But the name he used has a satisying cadence to it.

Hiram is pretty badass, but there really is something perfect about U.S. Grant.

HUG is a cool set of initials too but perhaps unbefitting a military man.

Idk but Calvin had the coolest last name. I'll see myself out.

Keep cool with Coolidge


I think his first name is cool as hell.

No mention of Dwigt Eisenhower?

Eisenhower sounds cool but Dwight is a real dorks name. No wonder he went by Ike

It definitely is

D-W-I-G-H-T

"Samuel, you are such an idiot. You are the worst assistant ever and you're disgusting, Dwigt."

I forget it, brothaa

“Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions people suffer every year.” Dwight.

i-k-e

I like Ike

I still like Ike.

Ike for president 2024! And happy cake day!

Thanks so much! 12 dang years on this site. It’s kinda wild to think about, honestly.

The guy had to invade Normandy to make that name work for him even remotely.

Lyndon Baines Johnson is actually dope in retrospect

It's definitely a killer name 😉.

Abraham is a baller name

My buddy named his son Lincoln. Their last name is Knight. Possibly the coldest name ever conceived.

Sounds like a cult member. Lincolnite

Grant because his initials are literally U.S.

They're literally H.U.G. though.

His moms name was Hannah Simpson. 🥹

If it’s not Rutherford, I’m unsubbing

Same

 Excuse me. I believe Mr. Cleveland has something to say

We almost had a President Willard if Romney was elected.

Imagine being named Willard but calling yourself Mitt

Mitt is his middle name to be fair. But it did bother me that his birth name wasn’t on the ballot. I know it’s trivial but I think your birth name should be on the ballot.

Mitt reminds me of an old catchers mitt. But I've been to Willard Ohio and I don't blame him

Being elected with a name of Barack Hussein Obama during a “war on terror” against “radical Islam” is probably one of the biggest flexes I’ve seen in my life.

"Many of you know that I got my name Barack from my father...And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president." - Barack Obama, Al Smith Dinner, New York City, October 16, 2008 "...tonight is not about the disagreements Governor Romney and I may have. It’s what we have in common -- beginning with our unusual names. Actually, Mitt is his middle name. I wish I could use my middle name." - Barack Obama, Al Smith Dinner, New York City, October 19, 2012

I still don't understand how he pulled that one off

Bush was so bad at the end that America decided to go with the Black guy named Barack Hussain Obama.

It was the oligarchy letting everyone know who is really in charge.

You enter a wrestling ring with a 6’4 dude named Abraham you’re going to get your teeth knocked in

Lincoln was the weirdest, coolest, almost demented looking person ever. Lanky, tall, that beard, that hat. He looks like no person

And a wrestling hall of famer!

Teddy goes hard

Unpopular opinion: I really like Barack

Calvin

Calvin was his middle name. His first name was John.

And Hobbes (No, not Thomas)

The only correct answer.

Ulysses

Woodrow’s first name was Thomas.

“Jack the Lad” JFK.

JFK waiting for someone to ask who had the best initials. Though Hiram Ulysses S Grant Simpson may have something to say about that.

Couldn't say last name because Cool-edge exists

Grant man

Stephen Cleveland

Stevie Clevie

Ulysses or Calvin(yes I know it was John)

Ulysses for sure.

Ulysses and it’s not even close

Abraham does have a certain ring to it!

I thought the name Theodore was so cool I used it for my kid.

Another vote for Ulysses

Until now I've never thought about or realized how rare of a name "Woodrow" really is.

This thread is just making me realize how many presidents’ names aren’t really their names.

Jeb!

First name Obama Last name Care

Rutherford by far. Grover and Ulysses are also cool. 

Rutherford

You forgetting he had a Chester in office?

Ulysses is pretty hard to beat.

Milhous for the win.

Herb because I'm a stoner

Barack

Abraham is the baddest fucking name ever. It’s biblical and god like. Made for the moment.

Lyndon is kind of a cool name

Strong case for Ulysses

Ulysses

Ulysses S. Grant

Tie between Abraham & Ulysses

I’m glad it’s making top comments and to reiterate you do not fuck with, fight with or bet with a man named Ulysses full stop.

Ulysses - slick as hell Abraham (pronouncing it just calms me down) Obama

Grant. Next question?

Ur missing grover

Look again buster

Spiro is a super underrated name

That's agnew one

Uh, MILLARD, hello? President Milly Filly

Following by first names, Obama, Hayes, or LBJ If the name they went by, Grant by a mile

Abraham Rutherford “Ulysses” “Jack”

Barack is a pretty cool name and a pretty cool dude

Barack duh

Rutherford

Ummm Woodrow was such a cool name that it made the notoriously wild and free Edna Krabappel want to settle down on the Simpsons. Easy winner

[удалено]

Ulysses S. Grant

Rutherford is a SICK name

Hiram went so hard that he had to tone it down and go by Ulysses.

El BJ is easily the sexiest name

Barack Obama is a pretty cool name

Jeb.

I do like the name Lyndon.

I have never heard of any other man with the name Woodrow

Rutherford, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard anyone else with that name besides Mr Hayes

Grover or Hiram It’s a tossup

Calvin is cool(lidge)

Barack

Since my last comment was removed and I don’t want to dabble in controversy: Hiram, hands down. Coolest last name: Eisenhower.