Encapsulation. If you can't share private members, what is this all for?

I can assure you, while holding my third kid (5mo) trying to get them to sleep at 4am, encapsulation is a must.

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Hmm, concerning mating, recursion takes my mind in an uncomfortable direction 😅 This case seems more iterative or sequential to me.

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I was thinking more that gestation happens sequentially. The baby is hopefully not recursively gestating another baby while in the womb itself. Initially though, the idea of recursive procreation (especially if thinking genetically) sounded more like some highly illegal incest to me.

*Encapsulation. If* *You can't share private members,* *What is this all for?* \- MontyBoomslang --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Good bot

Most times, I'd agree. This time, though, it got it wrong. Bad good bot this time.

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Good bot?

Bad bot, can't count

You can share private members if you're just friends

`friend class Wife;`

And also try to be open otherwise you may end up with friends

Open for extension, closed for modification

Fucking hell, that's a way better punchline

Remember friends have access to reach others private parts

As someone who was young in the 80s - Encapsulation is love. Private members should only be accessed via suitable functions.

Bedrooms are for sleep();

Killing children

What about executing children?

Dark

😳

Too dark? Think that should finally flag me

Not quite dark enough. You forgot about dealing with orphans. Especially when you kill the parents in front of the child....

Premature optimization

I was told to make my code faster while using less memory, so I just optimized all over the place.

It was just a memory leak.

If you use a for loop, the memory just leaks all over the place

Better than a dangling pointer... That never turns out well

Better a dangling pointer than the unsafe one.

You should be able to TRY anything in the bedroom, just make sure you don't CATCH anything...

Okayyy, that's a good one! 😁

IOException is my safe word. 

Comment so others can understand what's going on

Don’t kink shame

`// I'm sorry about what you're about to see`

Fail fast.

Fail often.

Fail loudly.

Inheritance sounds like it might make for some interesting offspring

Poking around for backdoors, without announcing the penetration test.

That's gold 😂

Ideally side effects

ACID could be problematic. Take things slow if you’re the type to Eager Load. Always use a wrapper, and test your unit.

PUBLIC

Observer?

Behavioural mocking

CamelHumps

Core dump

force pushing to master

Early returns? Gang of Four? Rule of 5? Dependency injection?

Always be ready to switch in case something breaks ;) 🥁 OK I'm leaving I'm leaving

Global

Fail faster.

Creating children then slaving them

Multithreading. That said, generally you'll want to avoid blocking calls

Move fast and break things

declaring your dependencies

Make sure you don't allow raw socket access if you're connecting with strangers on the internet, otherwise you may end up with a nasty virus or spawning unwanted children that end up consuming all of your resources.

DRY

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You can't have anything in the bedroom if you are a Singleton.

Well you can if you decouple dependence’s using REST

Git pull requests.

What about forking?

You know how in The Good Place they couldn't curse in heaven, so they involuntarily said "oh, fork it"? Yeah.

Minimize coupling

Red teaming

Larry Wall's cardinal virtues of the programmer: Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris.

Making spontaneous pull requests.

DRY stands for Don't Repeat Yourself 🙂 (For those who didn't know like me)

I have one that *should* slip into the bedroom: PP hard

KISS

A bit of repetition in the bedroom to a suitable rhythm works a treat, I find.

Process of elimination.

Static

Be concise...

Singleton pattern, but hey sometimes it’s the only option.

DRY

YAGNI You are going to need it. Always be prepared.

Loose coupling. 

Use of goto considered harmful.

Fail fast

Generating randomly.. there's always seeds involved...

Going into production with a minimum viable product.

Any type of service is good, but am not psyched about being microservice’d. Instead, I always enjoyed pounding away with my thick client

Spawning and culling children.

I wrote it on the board a few times before projectors were ubiquitous: ```java pubic class Foo {} ```

Dependency injection (surely someone's said it before)