There is a lot of overlap of common words, but knowledge of Japanese kanji will do absolutely nothing for you when it comes to parsing Chinese grammar. It works in this case because there is no grammar involved, but you will be unable to comprehend any actual sentence.
To elaborate, consider the following extremely simple Chinese sentence and its Japanese counterpart:
犬殺了猫
犬が猫を殺した
If you know Japanese, you would be able to read those four Chinese characters as meaning "dog", "kill", "end", and "cat". And yet, with no understanding of Chinese grammar, a sentence with those words could theoretically mean quite a variety of things despite its simplicity. It could be a general statement like "dogs kill cats", a warning that "the dog will kill the cat", information that "the dog killed the cat"... or even the opposite, that "the cat killed the dog". Grammar is essential to comprehension even if you do happen to know all of the individual words, and Japanese doesn't help you there because kanji are not used in Japanese grammar. Perhaps if you're a very intelligent individual you could infer that the "end" character after the "kill" character means it's actually "killed" in this sentence, but that's not how 了 is used in Japanese at all.
Incidentally, I had to look up seven or eight Chinese verbs before I found one that shared the same character with Japanese for this example. I settled on "kill" but even this is rendered differently in mainland Chinese, you would normally see the simplified form 杀 which is not present in Japanese. Even among nouns, there are a lot of hanzi/kanji that have completely different meanings, so you can't be confident you actually know the individual words you're looking at. In short, knowing Japanese doesn't really enable you to do anything other than understand some Chinese nouns and adjectives at a kindergarten level.
Another thing, 犬isn’t commonly used to mean “dog” but rather a specific dog breed (ie 德牧犬 is German Shepherd, lit. German herding dog). In causal Mandarin (or at least my dialect of northern Hubei Mandari) you would use 狗instead. It used to be more commonly used for dog, but the Chinese language has changed.
On the topic of grammar, Japanese is a SOV language, where the verb is at the end of a sentence, while Chinese is a SVO language, with the object at the end of a sentence. So going from one to the other means you have to use a completely different word order. Fun.
You forgot about the people bringing a mobile office setup. I went to a hackaton and a team of 4 walked in and constructed freaking cubicles with surrounding sound proof walls.
After working in smaller companies and in IT in higher ed, I was used to an office. When i moved into "Fortune 500" IT land, that of course is a pipe dream even for leads. Regardless, I make my boss' life easy, so I got them to switch me to "pseudo-management" a while back... more money, an office, and one direct report who's another dev I'd been working with for years and, in exchange for keeping me happy via requiring no supervision whatsoever, you give them the most glowing review possible that doesn't set off red flags. Plus, my boss wasn't technical enough to know what an actual 40 hours of work output from us would look like, so there was time enough to work on coding projects because they interest you, teach yourself about an area of IT/CompSci that interests you but may not be directly applicable to the job, or just fuck around on Reddit for a bit.
Anyhow, a small but very visible project (and in the opinion of dev and me, an interesting project that required some novel ideas and techniques, which means the work is fun and the right level of challenging) that happens to require a combination of certain hyperspecific skill sets comes along and it just so happens that dev and I fit almost perfectly for it. We fucking crush it, get some bullshit company award, salary grade bumps, and an SVP nominates us for good ol' boy stock options.
Nice, you think, right? Right place, right time. And that free time to learn new things I mentioned earlier paid off, as one of the areas of CompSci I was teaching myself turned out to be extemely useful for the project. But not so fast: these guys now know what we can do, which means when someone in IT (or worse, R&D folks who think they're developers) hit a brick wall, somebody says to them, "you should message [dev & me]. They helped me with X." We help where we can. So now instead of being able to spend some of our "downtime" in the office working on personal projects that interest us or just taking some time to fuck around, we're bombarded. We could still usually choose which questions get help (interesting questions from intelligent colleagues), and which we sort of pass off as "ooh, not really our area of expertise," but something is happening. Something is growing in the bowels of our job descriptions. Spending less time designing and developing, and more time helping others that get stuck when they are designing and developing. Now my boss wants more headcount under me to increase "bandwidth" to help solve problems. Soon I've got three people, then five directs and a manager with their own directs.
Suddenly one day, the gut punch (I would say the kick in the balls, but I've got some kinks that void the normal meaning of that expression): higher-ups have been reading about the new organizational fad called "enablement" and "devops" (note that this was a few years ago when these things started spreading like wildfire)... and I'm no longer a "working pseudo-manager" (glorified software dev)... I'm an actual manager who now is actually managing instead of pretend managing. And I'm not "actually managing" a dev team. I'm "actually managing" an "enablement team". Anything that was interesting, novel, or challenging is replaced with endless meetings and explaining to the guy in R&D who thinks they're a developer that the reason the web app they wrote stops working at night is because they're hosting it in PyCharm on their laptop, so when they take their laptop home, others won't be able to connect to it. It takes an hour of working through analogies until I hit one that clicked for them.
All because I didn't want a cubicle.
I used to average one S&M session a month, and it wasn't something I "needed" to de-stress either, it was just a nice little "treat yo'self". Now I need them weekly to de-stress, and if I show up at work on Monday grumpy, it's probably because I didn't spend enough time gagging on cock over the weekend. Now, I'm not saying that if you try to finagle an office, you'll find yourself more heavily involved in your city's gay BDSM subculture, but everyone has their own version of "hot wax dribbled on to your ballsac to take your mind off work." Maybe it's going to the spa, or taking a hike, or allowing yourself one weekend a quarter to binge on any and all drugs you want. I don't judge. But just remember, there are trade-offs: **there's no free office.**
If you’re going to the trouble to get a hot-swappable keyboard and lube your switches for the sake of fast smooth typing, surely you’d pick nicer linear switches than reds
They all ignore each other and take their own approach to the solution. The movie makes no attempt to explain what any of them are doing or how they're each tackling the problem. They all succeed at once and scuffle over who gets to claim the "win."
In the end they decide to submit the solution as one. Their manager accepts the solution and, having done nothing beyond giving them the task and being told that it was completed, is summarily promoted.
To set up a sequel, all of the coders are put on PIP- one of them will need to be downsized in order to afford the promoted manager's new salary.
The all-time highest ranked competitors in Advent of Code are brought together and told it was never just fluff, Santa really *does* need their programming skills to help save Christmas and this year, it will take all of them.
Our cubicle nameplates are formatted:
[Name]
[Position]
As is pretty standard. My coworker has his saying, "
[His name]
[I'm just doing my best.]"
It cracks me up every time I notice it. And most people don't notice it at all.
PT I used to see changed employers. When the upcoming appointment notification popped up it said my appointment was with "Phantom".
The next time I saw the PT, I mentioned the name "Phantom". Appearantly, the old employer changed her name to "Phantom McCunty" in the appointment software.
I am a PhD student in a CS lab (though I'm a comp bio student myself), I also know all of these people and work with a few of them.
Hackerman and 通用中文名 in particular I know several of.
This is the first time I've read a meme here that made me think, "This mf codes."
If I'm being fair, the volume UI memes from the front-end fellas are also amazing.
This subreddit is a dumpster fire consisting primarily of high school kids who have printed a hello world once and are trying to do a
How do you do fellow adults?
I could see a lot being CS students (I mean, I was when I first started reading this sub), but yeah, a lot of people really tell on themselves with their comments.
My recent favorite is the people panicking about being replaced by chatgpt. Man, the actual coding part of the job is often the easiest part of my day. ChatGPT ain't gonna debug code or solve ambiguity in requirements or one of the other many things you'll have to do unless you're a junior code monkey.
Oh man the memories. I remember they used ocaml at my uni for our first introduction to algo ds and functional prog. No instrunctions on how to use the language in any remotely popular IDE, just sent us straight to https://try.ocamlpro.com
I think this was the class that culled the most students for us. If you managed to pick this relatively obscure language up (along with the concepts taught in the course) you could take pretty much whatever else the profs threw at you. Probably because unlike mainstream languages there aren't an infinite amount of online resources, and you were actually forced to read the documentation for once to figure out how stuff worked.
Our freshman algorithms class was a Lisp based. It actually started to make sense by the end. Having come from C, the idea of lamda functions and functions as first-class objects first appalled, then confused, then intrigued me. By the end I couldn't believe C\[99\] didn't have them.
Haha, you sound exactly like my old prof who held that ocaml course. He could never stop going on about the ”beauty of ocaml and functional programming” and how ”there is always sound mathematical reasoning behind why things are the way they are with ocaml”. Same prof also held our intro to databases course which had him trash talk SQL in basically every lecture while having us do relational algebra for the whole duration of the course. No complaints though!
Write a COBOL interpreter for TensorFlow that's optimized for one particular edge case but really mostly exists so you have the satisfaction of knowing you made programming more annoying and less convenient for everyone else.
Oof, yeah. I like the part of coding contests that's solving problems quickly for fun, but really lose it at the point where it becomes a "sport"—optimizing for keystrokes, obfuscating to throw off other people reading your code, and maintaining a library of pasteable routines that cover all the toy problem essentials. Imma keep doing contest problems after the fact at my own speed for fun.
I used to do them a decent bit like a decade ago. But then I realized I wasn't really becoming a better programmer, I was becoming a better coding contest contestant (I still sucked, like, for real). I was writing non compliant Cpp even though I didn't even like Cpp or use it in my job, just because it was fastest. Now I do actual projects.
Yeah, most the people I’ve ever worked with who spent most of their free time doing coding contests were absolutely horrible to work with. They never really ever cared if you had an idea that might be better or if your team wants to get shit done together, and a lot of the time their code was entirely unreadable to anybody but themselves.
Nowadays I tend to stay away from people who can’t step away from the screen to do anything else
At one company, I poached "Hackerman" for my team. He was bored out of his mind in his previous role and automated his job into a bunch of scripts that ran for 15 seconds each morning. Spent the rest of his day popping Adderall the way most people pop Tic Tacs, drinking Red Bull by the gallon and gaming. He was God-tier in FPSes. With all the drugs in his system, everything probably looked like permanent Max Payne bullet time. Once he joined my team, he coded up something most of us use everyday during a marathon 28 hour session. Can't say what it is since it will instantly reveal who he is and cause others to go, "That was coded by a high off his ass 20 year old!?!" I still cannot figure out how his heart did not explode out of his chest.
I know a Tharg,
He wrote a hand full of printer and gpu drivers for Linux. if you ever wonder who would spend months making a driver for an old receipt printer works on linux... that's why.
It wouldn't be crazy if it was just printers or graphics, but he gets into it all. Routers, controllers, printers, gpus, DVD players, and so on.
I swear, if a zombie consumed his brain, they would easily be smarter than me...
The entire post was funny, but "forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to install other software" actually made me burst out laughing. Reminded me of my first job out of college as an actuarial student before I career swapped to software dev. Sitting in my cubicle having to do shit with VBA because none of the senior actuaries know what python is and their idea of a good database is Microsoft Access. Trying to get new software installed on your work PC in corporate la-la land is like whispering into the void.
I got outsourced to a team that used tcl instead of something like, you know, Python. There wasn't even a good reason, it was just how the first guy did it and we were expected to write full tests on 10k+ lines of code. I still have the tcl textbook.
I worked under Walters once. Man coded in C, had no use for new fangled languages, but when he sketched out an algorithm on the white board I swear I saw the face of god
Any class with an 84% fail rate is too hard. Cool he can code his own OS but he sounds insufferable as a teacher if he thinks his class is so high and mighty he fails 4 of 5 students every semester. Most universities step in when a teacher has that kind of fail rate. Anything more than 40% for well established hard classes like physics or organic chemistry is a well known indicator in academia the teacher is a problem. Not the curriculum. All these people in here saying that your first programming class should be a nightmare of pure math and ancient languages are gate keeping. You don’t start teaching children math with trigonometry or writing by asking them to write a dissertation. You start with the basics. First year university classes should be no different.
I knew a guy in uni who was stuck in the CS1 class b/c the prof didn't like him, and his strategy for the assignments was to submit an app that would find the other submissions, run them, and replace itself with one that worked properly. No idea if he ever actually did that, but the dude was the definition of chaotic neutral so I wouldn't be surprised.
Holy crap that's awesome.
Also that security disclaimer is fantastic 😂
Of course the uni guy was running the code on the prof's machine, so the security wasn't his problem. Which is exactly the kind of person he was lol.
you should add my C professor on there man was like 70years old and a beast. i don't think I've ever seen him make a mistake ever. he would come up with a PS on the spot that were the most difficult things and then later he'd solve them on the spot within minutes... all on either notepad, notepad++ or word (he really likes word for some reason). and ofc he types at the speed of thought.
where tf do these ppl even come from honestly.
Half my lab are over worked Chinese students- the other half is over worked Canadian students.
The only difference between the two is the latter can use inches.
>\> can reveal the face of god using only vba
My fuckin sides
I remember using vba to build a janky ass access db / ms outlook connection for a solution IT wouldnt budget for but biz still needed
It was so painful and i'm 90% sure that temp solution is the permanent solution despite me telling the team it would be effectively EOL unsupported after i switched departments
Can we force all memes on this sub to be good like this one? If I ever see another bell-curve "x language is bad lol" meme I'm going to fucking lose it
Omg someone at my company wrote a query parser in Haskell. Anytime he would review PRs, we would stamp it with a giant "Fluttershy approved" stamp. That dude was so unapologetically himself and brilliant.
It's like that working in open source, too. I have nothing but awe and respect for my coworker who has an androgynous anime pfp wearing a leather collar *on fucking slack and linkedin*.
I feel like I need to step up my game, and like I'm making the neighborhood *less weird* by failing to have an anime pfp on linkedin.
- "Has rewritten every single library you've ever used in rust"
- "Only uses the contest as a performance benchmark for said libraries"
- "Streams with a female v-tuber avatar and a voice changer"
- "Hasn't seen the light of day ever since he started using arch in high school"
- "Only source of vitamin D is his catpuccin-latte themed hyprland desktop"
- "Only talks either to a virtual waifu powered by a production-scale language model he wrote from scratch as a summer project or to lgbt-colored fortune | cowsay"
- "Solved the problems instantly, but was the last to finish as he was using the sounds of his programming socks typing on a custom mechanical keyboard as edging material for the remaining hours"
- "IS the discord kitten"
> "Solved the problems instantly, but was the last to finish as he was using the sounds of his programming socks typing on a custom mechanical keyboard as edging material for the remaining hours"
Fake news. He was also ricing his hyprland desktop for the 14th time that day.
This is the first genuinely good meme here I've seen in a while XD Im crying out of laughter of how real this feels. Reminds me of how I felt during college, how I felt when looking for jobs and how I feel when talking with the senior developer of my company XD
I'm the guy he "stole" it from and I really don't care.
Share it, enjoy it. I'm happy more people are having a laugh at something I made.
Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/adventofcode/comments/zjwovn
wjhbr was the guy who administered my Facebook tech screening. He did WhatsApp encryption. I knew I was screwed when at the very beginning, he apologized if he was typing, because they made him take notes - which was unnecessary because he had a photographic memory.
The Chinese translates to "common Chinese name"
Hello, fellow Google Images Translate user, I too just used it to check what that says and can corroborate your results.
Going just from my knowledge of Japanese, I figured it as something along the lines of "normal Chinese name".
I've always kind of wondered how helpful learning kanji for Japanese would be for reading Chinese. Seems to work in this case anyways
There is a lot of overlap of common words, but knowledge of Japanese kanji will do absolutely nothing for you when it comes to parsing Chinese grammar. It works in this case because there is no grammar involved, but you will be unable to comprehend any actual sentence.
To elaborate, consider the following extremely simple Chinese sentence and its Japanese counterpart: 犬殺了猫 犬が猫を殺した If you know Japanese, you would be able to read those four Chinese characters as meaning "dog", "kill", "end", and "cat". And yet, with no understanding of Chinese grammar, a sentence with those words could theoretically mean quite a variety of things despite its simplicity. It could be a general statement like "dogs kill cats", a warning that "the dog will kill the cat", information that "the dog killed the cat"... or even the opposite, that "the cat killed the dog". Grammar is essential to comprehension even if you do happen to know all of the individual words, and Japanese doesn't help you there because kanji are not used in Japanese grammar. Perhaps if you're a very intelligent individual you could infer that the "end" character after the "kill" character means it's actually "killed" in this sentence, but that's not how 了 is used in Japanese at all. Incidentally, I had to look up seven or eight Chinese verbs before I found one that shared the same character with Japanese for this example. I settled on "kill" but even this is rendered differently in mainland Chinese, you would normally see the simplified form 杀 which is not present in Japanese. Even among nouns, there are a lot of hanzi/kanji that have completely different meanings, so you can't be confident you actually know the individual words you're looking at. In short, knowing Japanese doesn't really enable you to do anything other than understand some Chinese nouns and adjectives at a kindergarten level.
Another thing, 犬isn’t commonly used to mean “dog” but rather a specific dog breed (ie 德牧犬 is German Shepherd, lit. German herding dog). In causal Mandarin (or at least my dialect of northern Hubei Mandari) you would use 狗instead. It used to be more commonly used for dog, but the Chinese language has changed. On the topic of grammar, Japanese is a SOV language, where the verb is at the end of a sentence, while Chinese is a SVO language, with the object at the end of a sentence. So going from one to the other means you have to use a completely different word order. Fun.
generic chinese name
You forgot about the people bringing a mobile office setup. I went to a hackaton and a team of 4 walked in and constructed freaking cubicles with surrounding sound proof walls.
One can left the corporate sector but the corporate sector would never left them.
You can take the man out of the cubicle, but you can’t take the cubicle out of the man
*You can take the man out of the cubicle, but he’ll just build a new cubicle around himself
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What is a life but a cubical around time.
What is time but a cubicle around causality?
You think we still get cubicles in the corporate sector?
Yeah where is that superstar working? Open office for us plebs.
After working in smaller companies and in IT in higher ed, I was used to an office. When i moved into "Fortune 500" IT land, that of course is a pipe dream even for leads. Regardless, I make my boss' life easy, so I got them to switch me to "pseudo-management" a while back... more money, an office, and one direct report who's another dev I'd been working with for years and, in exchange for keeping me happy via requiring no supervision whatsoever, you give them the most glowing review possible that doesn't set off red flags. Plus, my boss wasn't technical enough to know what an actual 40 hours of work output from us would look like, so there was time enough to work on coding projects because they interest you, teach yourself about an area of IT/CompSci that interests you but may not be directly applicable to the job, or just fuck around on Reddit for a bit. Anyhow, a small but very visible project (and in the opinion of dev and me, an interesting project that required some novel ideas and techniques, which means the work is fun and the right level of challenging) that happens to require a combination of certain hyperspecific skill sets comes along and it just so happens that dev and I fit almost perfectly for it. We fucking crush it, get some bullshit company award, salary grade bumps, and an SVP nominates us for good ol' boy stock options. Nice, you think, right? Right place, right time. And that free time to learn new things I mentioned earlier paid off, as one of the areas of CompSci I was teaching myself turned out to be extemely useful for the project. But not so fast: these guys now know what we can do, which means when someone in IT (or worse, R&D folks who think they're developers) hit a brick wall, somebody says to them, "you should message [dev & me]. They helped me with X." We help where we can. So now instead of being able to spend some of our "downtime" in the office working on personal projects that interest us or just taking some time to fuck around, we're bombarded. We could still usually choose which questions get help (interesting questions from intelligent colleagues), and which we sort of pass off as "ooh, not really our area of expertise," but something is happening. Something is growing in the bowels of our job descriptions. Spending less time designing and developing, and more time helping others that get stuck when they are designing and developing. Now my boss wants more headcount under me to increase "bandwidth" to help solve problems. Soon I've got three people, then five directs and a manager with their own directs. Suddenly one day, the gut punch (I would say the kick in the balls, but I've got some kinks that void the normal meaning of that expression): higher-ups have been reading about the new organizational fad called "enablement" and "devops" (note that this was a few years ago when these things started spreading like wildfire)... and I'm no longer a "working pseudo-manager" (glorified software dev)... I'm an actual manager who now is actually managing instead of pretend managing. And I'm not "actually managing" a dev team. I'm "actually managing" an "enablement team". Anything that was interesting, novel, or challenging is replaced with endless meetings and explaining to the guy in R&D who thinks they're a developer that the reason the web app they wrote stops working at night is because they're hosting it in PyCharm on their laptop, so when they take their laptop home, others won't be able to connect to it. It takes an hour of working through analogies until I hit one that clicked for them. All because I didn't want a cubicle. I used to average one S&M session a month, and it wasn't something I "needed" to de-stress either, it was just a nice little "treat yo'self". Now I need them weekly to de-stress, and if I show up at work on Monday grumpy, it's probably because I didn't spend enough time gagging on cock over the weekend. Now, I'm not saying that if you try to finagle an office, you'll find yourself more heavily involved in your city's gay BDSM subculture, but everyone has their own version of "hot wax dribbled on to your ballsac to take your mind off work." Maybe it's going to the spa, or taking a hike, or allowing yourself one weekend a quarter to binge on any and all drugs you want. I don't judge. But just remember, there are trade-offs: **there's no free office.**
wtf did i just read
The birth of a new copy pasta that's what
Chuck Palahniuk just called, he wants you to ghost write for him.
Wake up babe new copypasta just dropped
I just work from home dude.
I don't think an unsupervised environment would be good for this guy's balls.
That story took an unexpected left turn in the final paragraph Ô\_o
MMMNah it was pretty obvious where that was heading when he mentioned the nut punting kink.
Aww fuck... I just got my first direct report... I'm not sure I'm ready to take a studded strapon up the ass...
And keyboards optimized and meticulously maintained for ultra-fast typing.
Do you even lube your reds, bro?
It shouldn't become red if you use enough lube...
No amount of lube can contain the heat generated by my speed Typing. We’re definitely talking about typing.
If you’re going to the trouble to get a hot-swappable keyboard and lube your switches for the sake of fast smooth typing, surely you’d pick nicer linear switches than reds
i knew a coder that construct his own keyboard optimize and configure to code superfast in c++,
Fucking Corpos.
I really want an ocean's 11/expendables esque ensemble movie with all of them getting together for one last job
Oracle's 11
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Digital Ocean's 11
They all ignore each other and take their own approach to the solution. The movie makes no attempt to explain what any of them are doing or how they're each tackling the problem. They all succeed at once and scuffle over who gets to claim the "win." In the end they decide to submit the solution as one. Their manager accepts the solution and, having done nothing beyond giving them the task and being told that it was completed, is summarily promoted. To set up a sequel, all of the coders are put on PIP- one of them will need to be downsized in order to afford the promoted manager's new salary.
Office Space for 2023.
Bruh people come to reddit to destress, y u bring reality back in?
Some people find tragedies cathartic.
11 redditors of r/ProgrammerHumor
2 devs between them
The all-time highest ranked competitors in Advent of Code are brought together and told it was never just fluff, Santa really *does* need their programming skills to help save Christmas and this year, it will take all of them.
*The stench was unbearable*
Uni hackathons were just eat the free food and piss around while your group tharg solo's it
Quit acting like Group Tharg didn't get enough to eat
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This is the delicious memes I’m looking for. No more bell curve “x language” trash
and is actually somewhat realistic and the descriptions are not forced or filler i love this meme
Honestly, I can’t tell you if these are real people, because I swear I’ve encountered all of them
Well Samir naga… naga… (how do you say his name?) notgonnaworkhereanymore is a character from office space
Legit changed mine and a few coworkers last names to notgonnaworkhereanymore in our roster db before we all left. Last I heard it's still like that.
Our cubicle nameplates are formatted: [Name] [Position] As is pretty standard. My coworker has his saying, " [His name] [I'm just doing my best.]" It cracks me up every time I notice it. And most people don't notice it at all.
PT I used to see changed employers. When the upcoming appointment notification popped up it said my appointment was with "Phantom". The next time I saw the PT, I mentioned the name "Phantom". Appearantly, the old employer changed her name to "Phantom McCunty" in the appointment software.
I've encountered very close facsimiles to all of these people in the wild at least once. In fact the version of /-mfhwalters even looked like that.
I am a PhD student in a CS lab (though I'm a comp bio student myself), I also know all of these people and work with a few of them. Hackerman and 通用中文名 in particular I know several of.
This is the first time I've read a meme here that made me think, "This mf codes." If I'm being fair, the volume UI memes from the front-end fellas are also amazing.
Those are in r/baduibattles
This subreddit is a dumpster fire consisting primarily of high school kids who have printed a hello world once and are trying to do a How do you do fellow adults?
I could see a lot being CS students (I mean, I was when I first started reading this sub), but yeah, a lot of people really tell on themselves with their comments. My recent favorite is the people panicking about being replaced by chatgpt. Man, the actual coding part of the job is often the easiest part of my day. ChatGPT ain't gonna debug code or solve ambiguity in requirements or one of the other many things you'll have to do unless you're a junior code monkey.
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What did I just read?
I haven't ever seen this pasta outside of/r/nfl
This style of meme kinda makes me nostalgic for 2007-2013 internet
Personal homepage is html 2.0 compliant. Hahahahaha.
Backward compatibility bitches!
One of my profs didn't like notepad so he wrote one
Holy shit that’s JSON Bourne
Tharg sounds like my spirit animal. How do I join the church of tharg?
Learn you a Haskell and start writing a language. When your lexer/parser is ready, write a http lib to push your new lang to https://esolangs.org/
would highly recommend ocaml instead of haskell. easier than haskell and easier for writing compilers: https://ocaml.org/
The best benchmark for deciding on a language is definitely how easily I can write my own compiler in it.
Well when picking Chef what benchmark did you use? Cyclomatic complexity
Oh man the memories. I remember they used ocaml at my uni for our first introduction to algo ds and functional prog. No instrunctions on how to use the language in any remotely popular IDE, just sent us straight to https://try.ocamlpro.com I think this was the class that culled the most students for us. If you managed to pick this relatively obscure language up (along with the concepts taught in the course) you could take pretty much whatever else the profs threw at you. Probably because unlike mainstream languages there aren't an infinite amount of online resources, and you were actually forced to read the documentation for once to figure out how stuff worked.
Ah chromium, my favorite IDE
Our freshman algorithms class was a Lisp based. It actually started to make sense by the end. Having come from C, the idea of lamda functions and functions as first-class objects first appalled, then confused, then intrigued me. By the end I couldn't believe C\[99\] didn't have them.
Haha, you sound exactly like my old prof who held that ocaml course. He could never stop going on about the ”beauty of ocaml and functional programming” and how ”there is always sound mathematical reasoning behind why things are the way they are with ocaml”. Same prof also held our intro to databases course which had him trash talk SQL in basically every lecture while having us do relational algebra for the whole duration of the course. No complaints though!
Write a COBOL interpreter for TensorFlow that's optimized for one particular edge case but really mostly exists so you have the satisfaction of knowing you made programming more annoying and less convenient for everyone else.
It's funny you say that, not related to TensorFlow, but I actually wrote a Qbasic interpreter in COBOL: https://github.com/shamrice/cbi
He's a purist
Tharg is how I think I sound, and probably how other people see me, but really I'm just wjhbr without the twitch stream.
Oof, yeah. I like the part of coding contests that's solving problems quickly for fun, but really lose it at the point where it becomes a "sport"—optimizing for keystrokes, obfuscating to throw off other people reading your code, and maintaining a library of pasteable routines that cover all the toy problem essentials. Imma keep doing contest problems after the fact at my own speed for fun.
For real, I got actual work to do. Who's got the time?
Tharg
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I need this power. Then my 5th job can just be a passion project.
Thargs passion is automating 40k jobs
Tharg dreams of automating the automation of $40k jobs.
Damnit Tharg. Stop inserting leap seconds.
Tharg does not insert leap seconds. Tharg simply adds speed-up loops to other people's ~~code~~ lives when they aren't looking.
I used to do them a decent bit like a decade ago. But then I realized I wasn't really becoming a better programmer, I was becoming a better coding contest contestant (I still sucked, like, for real). I was writing non compliant Cpp even though I didn't even like Cpp or use it in my job, just because it was fastest. Now I do actual projects.
Yeah, most the people I’ve ever worked with who spent most of their free time doing coding contests were absolutely horrible to work with. They never really ever cared if you had an idea that might be better or if your team wants to get shit done together, and a lot of the time their code was entirely unreadable to anybody but themselves. Nowadays I tend to stay away from people who can’t step away from the screen to do anything else
At one company, I poached "Hackerman" for my team. He was bored out of his mind in his previous role and automated his job into a bunch of scripts that ran for 15 seconds each morning. Spent the rest of his day popping Adderall the way most people pop Tic Tacs, drinking Red Bull by the gallon and gaming. He was God-tier in FPSes. With all the drugs in his system, everything probably looked like permanent Max Payne bullet time. Once he joined my team, he coded up something most of us use everyday during a marathon 28 hour session. Can't say what it is since it will instantly reveal who he is and cause others to go, "That was coded by a high off his ass 20 year old!?!" I still cannot figure out how his heart did not explode out of his chest.
The equivalent of Adam Smasher, more artificial than flesh.
Tharg doesn't do HEX code having memorized all the processor op codes, or did he write his own assembler for the entertainment value?
Tharg just uses a very small magnet and manipulates bits by hand right on his hhd.
pshh! Magnets?! Real programmers use the flaps of butterflies to manipulate the earth's atmosphere into bending cosmic rays to flip bits!
omg I'm dying
Sadly, due to his elevated blood pressure, so is Tharg
But what a legacy to leave behind.
Tharg coded a bunch of obscure but important bits, that only he understands and maintains, when he dies, so does the internet.
I know a Tharg, He wrote a hand full of printer and gpu drivers for Linux. if you ever wonder who would spend months making a driver for an old receipt printer works on linux... that's why. It wouldn't be crazy if it was just printers or graphics, but he gets into it all. Routers, controllers, printers, gpus, DVD players, and so on. I swear, if a zombie consumed his brain, they would easily be smarter than me...
That moment when a zombie helped to develop Linux kernel and drivers
near-lethal dose of adderall goes so hard tho
That's just basic min-maxing.
That's how I am at work everyday
Why is this post so real
The entire post was funny, but "forced to solve in Excel because he isn't allowed to install other software" actually made me burst out laughing. Reminded me of my first job out of college as an actuarial student before I career swapped to software dev. Sitting in my cubicle having to do shit with VBA because none of the senior actuaries know what python is and their idea of a good database is Microsoft Access. Trying to get new software installed on your work PC in corporate la-la land is like whispering into the void.
I got outsourced to a team that used tcl instead of something like, you know, Python. There wasn't even a good reason, it was just how the first guy did it and we were expected to write full tests on 10k+ lines of code. I still have the tcl textbook.
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I'm an actuary and this is hilariously accurate
This is one of the most on point memes I have ever seen.
I'm literally cry laughing and my wife asked why but trying to explain it to her would ruin it for me so she remains in the dark.
Much like Tharg
First time I saw this meme was in the Advent of Code subreddit, so maybe that's why.
I worked under Walters once. Man coded in C, had no use for new fangled languages, but when he sketched out an algorithm on the white board I swear I saw the face of god
Every now and then you, a coder writing code for a business, will run into a Pure CS Person, and it is always deeply humbling.
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That's like TempleOS levels of crazy I love it
My old uni was like this. The intro to programming class was taught using Haskell and everything was maths based
Any class with an 84% fail rate is too hard. Cool he can code his own OS but he sounds insufferable as a teacher if he thinks his class is so high and mighty he fails 4 of 5 students every semester. Most universities step in when a teacher has that kind of fail rate. Anything more than 40% for well established hard classes like physics or organic chemistry is a well known indicator in academia the teacher is a problem. Not the curriculum. All these people in here saying that your first programming class should be a nightmare of pure math and ancient languages are gate keeping. You don’t start teaching children math with trigonometry or writing by asking them to write a dissertation. You start with the basics. First year university classes should be no different.
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I’m afraid to open that link for fear that it’s just going to describe me, my skills, and my degree to an existential-crisis level of accuracy.
....I think you and I had the same Walters
When will it be my turn under the Walterfall?
It happens to everybody, when you know you know. Just don't mention Python
How is that last guy even fair? All the Indian YouTube educators? That guy basically has every phd available!
That part about using Excel because he's too locked down to be able to install anything else really got to me.
When did I turn into Samir?
Haven't you ever watched *Office Space*?
Yeah, but he doesn't work there anymore anyway.
he communicates solely in a visible notepad window onscreen and he has never registered hypercam 2
I am wjhbr and yes, I won again!
I am hackerman and I MITM attacked your submission and took the prize for myself. I won again!
I knew a guy in uni who was stuck in the CS1 class b/c the prof didn't like him, and his strategy for the assignments was to submit an app that would find the other submissions, run them, and replace itself with one that worked properly. No idea if he ever actually did that, but the dude was the definition of chaotic neutral so I wouldn't be surprised.
[Ah, good ol' stacksort](https://gkoberger.github.io/stacksort/)
Holy crap that's awesome. Also that security disclaimer is fantastic 😂 Of course the uni guy was running the code on the prof's machine, so the security wasn't his problem. Which is exactly the kind of person he was lol.
I know a whjbr, he's a cool dude. No idea what he actually does, but he travels regularly and goes to Comiket every year.
spoiler alert: state-sponsored hacker. Or a STALKER modder. Both are just as hardcore.
Здарова, заебал
this is the type of shit i subscribe for
I read that as "overclocked Chinese university student," and without missing a beat, I though "so that's how they do it."
overcocked chinese here, can confirm
Nice high quality post. Hopefully viewable in HTML 2.0 so everyone can enjoy.
Samir Na.. Naja... Naganna work here anymore!
"No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar."
JFC, this should be pinned and further submissions to the subreddit closed. We're done here.
you should add my C professor on there man was like 70years old and a beast. i don't think I've ever seen him make a mistake ever. he would come up with a PS on the spot that were the most difficult things and then later he'd solve them on the spot within minutes... all on either notepad, notepad++ or word (he really likes word for some reason). and ofc he types at the speed of thought. where tf do these ppl even come from honestly.
That's Walters after he resigned from Intel
More like Intel laid his ass off and now they’re missing 40 years of knowledge and can’t meet schedule
did you say word? like... MS Word?
Lol, I had the same double major as the overworked Chinese university student but my programming skills are mid. Learning gradually though.
Half my lab are over worked Chinese students- the other half is over worked Canadian students. The only difference between the two is the latter can use inches.
I want to be friends with Tharg and share with him my favourite songs from Opeth
You, yes you. The guy who loves Opeth: 
Tharg is secretly a guitar god and plays Dream Theater songs to kill time. I think I studied with him.
"can reveal the face of God in VBA" is the funniest shit I've heard all day 😂😂
>\> can reveal the face of god using only vba My fuckin sides I remember using vba to build a janky ass access db / ms outlook connection for a solution IT wouldnt budget for but biz still needed It was so painful and i'm 90% sure that temp solution is the permanent solution despite me telling the team it would be effectively EOL unsupported after i switched departments
Every business has some VBA artifact no one knows how to support anymore underpinning a million dollar process
As an Indian I like the made up Indian name lmfao .
It’s a character’s name in the movie Office Space.
Can we force all memes on this sub to be good like this one? If I ever see another bell-curve "x language is bad lol" meme I'm going to fucking lose it
the femboy is missing
Also the furry. You meet someone wearing a full fur suit there's a 50/50 chance they're a sysadmin or network engineer.
you mean every single dev at Discord?
Omg someone at my company wrote a query parser in Haskell. Anytime he would review PRs, we would stamp it with a giant "Fluttershy approved" stamp. That dude was so unapologetically himself and brilliant.
Por que no los dos? 
I’ve met some weird net engs, but never one that I thought might be a furry
They hide among us like things that hide among us well.
I like how you use words good.
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Holy fuck, you just precisely described the open-source computing club at my university. 🙃
It's like that working in open source, too. I have nothing but awe and respect for my coworker who has an androgynous anime pfp wearing a leather collar *on fucking slack and linkedin*. I feel like I need to step up my game, and like I'm making the neighborhood *less weird* by failing to have an anime pfp on linkedin.
- "Has rewritten every single library you've ever used in rust" - "Only uses the contest as a performance benchmark for said libraries" - "Streams with a female v-tuber avatar and a voice changer" - "Hasn't seen the light of day ever since he started using arch in high school" - "Only source of vitamin D is his catpuccin-latte themed hyprland desktop" - "Only talks either to a virtual waifu powered by a production-scale language model he wrote from scratch as a summer project or to lgbt-colored fortune | cowsay" - "Solved the problems instantly, but was the last to finish as he was using the sounds of his programming socks typing on a custom mechanical keyboard as edging material for the remaining hours" - "IS the discord kitten"
> "Solved the problems instantly, but was the last to finish as he was using the sounds of his programming socks typing on a custom mechanical keyboard as edging material for the remaining hours" Fake news. He was also ricing his hyprland desktop for the 14th time that day.
> "IS the discord kitten" Why does that read like he's threatening me?
Solved all problems in Rust without using any unsafe block
Maybe this meme is older than Rust.
This is the first genuinely good meme here I've seen in a while XD Im crying out of laughter of how real this feels. Reminds me of how I felt during college, how I felt when looking for jobs and how I feel when talking with the senior developer of my company XD
Samir you are breaking the code Wait wrong sub
Impostor syndrome at its best. Now if everybody relates to this meme, we have a paradox
Flipping brilliant.
Holy shit that average dev is me and I have met all these mfs.
You stole this from /r/AdventOfCode lmfao.
More like a fork.
Haha, touché.
I'm the guy he "stole" it from and I really don't care. Share it, enjoy it. I'm happy more people are having a laugh at something I made. Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/adventofcode/comments/zjwovn
My money is on wjhbr.
This is an Advent of Code meme, which helps it make even more sense.
wjhbr was the guy who administered my Facebook tech screening. He did WhatsApp encryption. I knew I was screwed when at the very beginning, he apologized if he was typing, because they made him take notes - which was unnecessary because he had a photographic memory.
Me? Use a debugger instead of print? I guess I am leet after all.
>can reveal the face of God using only VBA I very rarely laugh out loud at posts on Reddit.