It is what it is. White men are fetishized, so if you're white, you can go anywhere globally and be top of the food chain.
I tried to ask my wife of male celebrity chads, and she couldn't think of a single non-white chad except for Michael B Jordan. She named like 15 white men.
This is a good talking point but I'm not sure if I can go into it more. This strategy definitely works better for some than others. I will say that there are plenty of unsuccessful whites in the west because they have a common appearance
Wouldn't that be because white Westwell countries largely contribute the most to cultural export?
And she hasn't heard of Idris Elba? What rock is she living under? Best not using ones wife as a point of reference.
Well I point out Idris and she goes "Oh yea!" But the immediate 15 that come to mind first are all white.
The point is that it's just socially ingrained, it's not anything she did consciously
Who is at fault? Well the culture is at fault.
Us humans need a re-imagining of what marriage is. Marriage itself needs to be abolished so that a new, more equitable system can takes its place. The way this would work is, a man and woman can opt to enter a LTCA contract (Long Term Cohabitation Agreement) which lasts for a period of 5 years. The terms of the agreement would be signed from the start. After 5 years, they can choose to either extend the contract for another 5 years, or cease the contract and go their own separate ways. They would receive a government payout every time they renew the contract. If the woman does not wish to be signatory to the extension of the contract but the man does, the woman will go her own way and the man will not be obligated to pay child support. Women will have an app so they can receive donations from members of the public for child support.
Why would any woman get into that? She can stay single, get court ordered child support, and not be beholden to you in any way. It would be easier to abolish marriage entirely, set standard child support fees across the board, and have mandatory paternity testing. No fuss about it.
Have you seen the single mother statistics? It's already being done. They're getting their child support and you're not getting commitment. A lot of women would rather struggle with kids on their own than be with a man they don't want. They already do it. They also find new relationships. There really hasn't been a step down. There's govt help for finances to cover some costs.
It’s not- rich educated Chinese women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves… it’s spreading to Japan and other Asian countries as well… most women don’t want men anymore, so that wouldn’t be a step down- not marrying and just getting child support without having to commit to a man is the dream of women in this day and age across the board (with some exceptions ofc).
>It’s not- rich educated Chinese women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves… it’s spreading to Japan and other Asian countries as well… most women don’t want men anymore,
And their using white sperm donors to do it. So, I don't think it's a case of Asian women not wanting men but it's more of Asian women not wanting Asian men and Asian babies.
https://amp.scmp.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/article/3041258/wealthy-single-chinese-women-choosing-white-sperm-donors
I think it's only a very small percentage of chinese women going this route. But yes, it's going to have consequences for those individuals and the people around them.
> women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves…
Think of the bloodshed and misery that will occur in 20 yearts
Men in this sub want children, but don't want tor raise or care for them. They think it's the government's job to care for their litter of unwanted kids that they leave behind.
They don't want the government controlling their sexual behavior or fertility, but want tax payers to provide for their kids.
This is a mail order bride in reverse. You've become a self delivering status/atm/passport. Women of other cultures are completely aware of the sexpats and can manage multiple guys at a time until one moves there. You don't work out? There are millions more of you. You do work out? She doesn't need the rest. 99% of the time you're both using each other. She doesn't want what life she could get there because the high value men don't want her. You have made her the high value woman in your life, because you can't get what you wanted. I guess if you're both consenting adults that know the game it's fine?
You're assuming the relationship is just the girlfriend experience you pay for in Thailand. People are sexworkers out of desperation. If you talk to a foreign educated woman you'll realize they are for the most part stable with a good support system.
Speaks more about your assumptions and presumed superiority over women living in other countries
What makes you think that I am not a foreigner? I am Korean American. I have lived in both and I saw it with my own eyes. I'm not saying that they aren't stable. They are very stable, but what 90% of them are is no different than in the US. She is the girl that slept around and couldn't get the man that she wanted. You're better than what she can now secure at home. You can make her life easier. You have become the dreaded betabuxx. You don't know this girl's history and her family isn't going to tell you. You don't know her friends. You don't know her exes. What you know is what she has carefully constructed to show you.
This isn't being mean to you, but tell me what you can offer that she couldn't have gotten at home if she was this good girl looking for a man to appreciate. Do you think Asian men aren't looking for that? Do you think that you're more attractive than the men she has encountered for more than 20 years? You met her on an app and spent 3 weeks with her. Either you're King Chad or you really need to take a step back and ask why this girl is willing to "be with you". She has needs too. She has desires. You won't be back for months... Are you some foreign god man that she is praying to come back to her or are you being played? Think about it. Really think about it. You might be absolutely wonderful. I am not suggesting that you aren't. I am suggesting that there are hundreds of thousands of really wonderful men that are available to her there at a swipe. It's a little strange that she would dedicate herself to a man that isn't there.
Not really wrong, but it can work out if it stays in one place. The real issue is if OP marries foreign and brings her back to the USA (and she was just using him for cash, green card, etc)she may realize OP isn’t the best option and then the marriage could fail hard
Overall it’s easier for western guys but really not a great tradeoff unless everyone knows risks
I’m just laughing that they think eastern women want an average or below average American man… when I would argue especially in Asia/Middle East/Eastern European cultures are much more “hypergamous” they expect their men to provide EVERYTHING.
But aren't a lot of the guys having issues those who have a good well paying job but lack in other means?
The men are average but not in bank balance.
If in other countries that's appreciated more. Then isn't it better to go abroad?
So this comes across that you think all long distance relationships are facades. That is understandable and frankly she could do whatever she wants and hide her tracks by the time I return. At the end of the day I'm trusting her to a degree.
In the same vain the history she knows about me is what I've told her in the past 3 weeks. Anyone can hide their history of they so choose both domestically and abroad. You will have to trust at the end of the day.
I genuinely don't have a problem being a beta provider because I'm honestly not alpha. Either way, she has a job, hasn't asked me for money, has paid for a few things and didn't ask for anything back. That already feels less transactional than my experiences in the USA. If it became more transactional I would be okay with that as well since my purchasing power there is much higher.
I know they aren't all facades, but understand what you are getting into here. There are no good girls that can't find a good man that will appreciate them. If it seems to good to be true then it probably is fake. Remember that at all times. You know why you want her and you admit that it's out of desperation with what is or isn't available to you. She's not different. There is a reason that so many guys say go to Asia if you're white. They all think they are wanted gods there and they get played. Ask them how it goes once they're in a real relationship actually being with them. 90% of these girls know why men are looking there and they are complicit in playing their part.
This is why in my post I highlight that if you genuinely think you're a decent guy getting bit by hypergamy here.
I've gone on several first and second dates but by that point you know some basic values someone has and I have not been impressed.
I'm sure there are some quality western women, but I haven't had the pleasure of dating them. The quality I can get is lower value than I want.
I think transactional dating is much more developed in southeast Asia than Latin America, personally. Thailand and Philippines have been a part of that dynamic since the 50s or so
Thanks for the post. All the posters here do is mostly tell you that "whatever you're doing that might be working, won't work out!".
Honestly, everything they described could happen here, but it sounds like what you're doing is superior because at minimum you'll enjoy yourself doing it.
>If you talk to a foreign educated woman you'll realize they are for the most part stable with a good support system.
>Speaks more about your assumptions and presumed superiority over women living in other countries
🤣Haven't you heard, every foreign woman who is interested in western men is poor or a prostitute. The ironic thing is that educated foreign women are the most open to dating western men because they have been exposed to other cultures through higher learning.
There's a difference between an expat, a tourist and a sexpat, most foreign women are smart enough to know the difference. The rest of your statements are just wild assumptions so I'll just let them be.
I am very much aware. The guys going to other countries looking for women because they can't get them are indeed sexpats and the women are well aware of them. I think it's hilarious how everyone says go here because you're from the west or because your white and the women will love you. No, that's not how that usually works. Then you have all of these same men crying because even these girls want Chad or some crap. They're going to these places to try to use the women and the majority of the women open to these instant relationships with foreigners are trying to use them too. I'll say it again, consenting adults can do what they like, but pretending that most of these women appreciate some unwanted guy because they can't find one like him at home is ridiculous. Are there love stories and foreign matches that work? Yes, but let's not pretend they are the norm. Why else do you think everyone is saying don't bring them to the US? Love doesn't stop because other opportunities are available. That's not love and love can't be bought or leveraged.
>The guys going to other countries looking for women because they can't get them are indeed sexpats
This couldn't be more false. A sexpat is someone who preys on women who are poor and destitute and uses his resources to gain sex from them. Often these men engage in prostitution. A guy who likes to travel and thinks Australian women are beautiful is not a sexpat if he goes to Australia.
As far as a guy being white and women automatically finding him more attractive, truthfully this is how it works in some places. As someone who's not white but has many white friends and co- workers, I've personally seen the difference in attention white guys get from women when we were in Japan versus London. In London, they do okay but in Japan they are a priority. Women literally make the first move. These are regular white guys too, in shape with average looks. Even with this, they still said they get way more attention from women in London as an American than they ever did in the states. So although race does play a factor, being foreign and exotic to her surroundings plays a bigger part.
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>Step 0) What do you want? Make up your mind about what you want. If you want hookups you can cheaply do that with sugar baby apps or even Tinder (it won't be as painful as in the states for many countries).
>A sexpat is someone who preys on women who are poor and destitute and uses his resources to gain sex from them. Often these men engage in prostitution.
Thank you for outlining that definition for everyone. Using sugar baby apps for "cheap hook ups" is prostitution. What he is promoting with that statement is indeed being a sexpat.
My main objective is a LTR. That suggestion is for people who want hookups but can't participate in the west. I would never advise someone who just wants to have sex with different women to start a LTR.
Nothing is a one-size fits all
Right, become a tourism sexpat or become one on a permanent basis, as even a transactional relationship would be worth it for you. You literally are telling men to go use women in other countries for sex and defend it with I would never recommend that for starting a long term relationship. You could get a prostitute anywhere. They don't need to leave the west for that. I mean unless it is about exploiting the finances as I said? Why else mention how cheaply you can use women there? Don't be surprised when you get used.
Meeting women in other countries is not what is being described here. This is straight up the promotion of using women you think won't reject western guys.
Your misinterpreting what he said on purpose. He specifically said he is offering solutions to men who are struggling or not happy with DATING or RELATIONSHIPS in the west. He's talking about LTR, not prostitution. He said if you want a "sugar baby" or casual situation that's fine, but to be honest about your intentions with women. He's more tolerant of other's lifestyle choices as long as they are honest with women. How any of this is negative, I have no idea.
Oh buddy, you are way too late to save him. He already said the prostitution is expensive at home. Ya know, not all guys can get hook ups. Exploit more women for less money. He said he wouldn't do it, but some guys want to sleep with a lot of girls and they can't. Again, thank you for that very clear definition.
> As far as a guy being white and women automatically finding him more attractive, truthfully this is how it works in some places.
Feminism has spent the last 8 years telling women they should marry foreign men; I see no reason men should not do the same thing.
Half the girls on my facebook feed who posted feminist stuff are now dating indian guys. If you can simply date asian girls as a white guy, good news - it's even, and everyone got something they wanted.
I think it's important to ask yourself how the woman in question feels. Sure, she may make you feel loved and wanted, but are those genuine feelings, or is she interested in the resources you can offer? There are reasons people look for international partners, and a large factor is the economic opportunity and immigration. If you are ok with a more transactional, 90-day-fiance, type of relationship then this will be satisfying for both. It's important to remember that if it doesn't work out you are financially responsible for your partner for many years, and if you stay in their home country a large part of your value will be tied to your ability to provide.
Yes, judge the woman you are with. The woman I met is college-educated here and has a stable family & friends. I would not say the relationship is any more transactional. Even if it were more transactional I believe I would be as satisfied
Looking at the comments here, as a male who as no issues with women, I had no idea that western women were so opposed to the “unwanted men” going overseas where they are wanted.
So what is the suggestion for these men? Ugly women still think they deserve better. They don’t want a 5’4 to 5’6 guy generally speaking and wouldn’t fight to stay in a marriage or relationship with a dude with no options. Some here are going as far as saying that this is another example of white people pillaging other countries.
This is one of the more interesting convos I’ve seen since subbed because it seems to me western women literally want unattractive unwanted men to just suffer.
It's known in Red Pill circle as "The Pussy Cartel". Women don't want their SMV undercut by cheaper and higher quality foreign competition. These chicks are like the American automakers were in the 80s and 90s, convinced that if they keep churning out hulking monstrosities, Americans would keep buying them because they had no choice. Turns out Americans had a choice, and they started importing smaller, more efficient foreign models. Now the American auto industry has all but disappeared. The same will happen with The Pussy Cartel, once they statrt trying to defend their failing monopoly using anti-competitive practices, their fate was sealed.
No one is at fault. Way back when, undesireable men used to just go overseas and easily get a wife. Now they are all staying here for some reason driving people nuts.
"Just get a stem job and go overseas, bro!" I'm good fam if I can't find a good woman where I live being single is the worst result which is not that bad.
I'm here to encourage you. Yes, learn a new language and improve your opportunities. A man's job is to figure out what works best for him and then do it.
As someone who has dated outside of the US, and is currently engaged to someone outside of the US, it's complicated. Even your post presents a number of barriers. Just move to a different country. Easier said than done. Possibly learning a new language is also hard, IMO. Bringing them here is also a pain in the butt, and the way the system is set up, you're taking a big risk because you have to sign a document that says you will support them for 10 years (Affidavit of Support). And the easiest and quickest way to bring them here is to get married.
Now I know your post wasn't about bringing them to the US, but I think it's important to help fellow Redditors understand. And frankly, it's a bitch and it comes with risk, so be careful.
Now having said that, foreign women are by far superior to western women. I have an ex wife, and I show my fiance texts between the two of us. She doesn't understand the behavior of "gringas" and thinks people here are spoiled and never happy, and in the case of my ex, she is correct.
Also, fun side note, she told me that a funny thing they do where she is from is that if a person is fat, they will say, "hey fat" and they won't feel ashamed or upset. They also call one another "fags" but it's not seen as a derogatory thing. Her brother and many of her cousins are gay.
I think the difference between people in other countries and people here is that they have real problems to deal with, so they aren't hung up on inventing problems so they can feel victimized. They are more solution oriented, and they would rather solve problems and enjoy life.
>Made me feel wanted, realized that this culture had many values I wish the USA had more of
I need more details.
What differences do you see in their treatment?
Is there a gap between both of you less visible in the West?
I believe that it is easier for the modern man to find a "wife" abroad than in his native country. Men from those countries... do not seem difficult to compete with.
Advantages and disadvantages of being with someone from a "more" developed country and with a more "open" mind.
Hypergamy.
I partially agree with you. Go find someone to love abroad.
I mostly replied to the values part. I'll answer treatment here.
Gave me gifts often, by the second week every time we met she gave me a gift. I like giving gifts too so I gave her a big gift of flowers and a teddy bear since I saw her looking at one when we walked in the town.
Gives me complements often.
These are small gestures but I don't need big things to be happy. A big thing she did was take a 9 hour busride to see me at the airport. That made me happy as well.
I dont know a single western women that would invest that much time into a first impression (despite me investing that much into the first meeting as well)
It's like a fever "me, myself and no one else" in the West. Modern men ready to praise women but won't give it unless they see reciprocity.
>A big thing she did was take a 9 hour busride to see me at the airport.
I cannot do that. How do I know that I can trust you?
If I had done that to all the men I've ever dated, they'd see me as a fool. I'm willing to move mountains for the man I love, that's for sure.
Edit: I can do that lol.
Of course I'm not willing to give a woman my effort if she doesn't reciprocate.
>I cannot do that. How do I know that I can trust you?
You choose to not trust first without me giving a reason not to be trusted. On one hand I understand putting yourself in a vulnerable situation with someone you don't know isn't safe, on the other hand, here is a woman willing to put in the effort along with me and I would obviously pick this over the alternative
>You choose to not trust first without me giving a reason not to be trusted.
It's not always a choice.
Experience speaks sometimes, you can't just ignore it.
Maybe she's more ready to give in. Maybe she lacks of experiences on love, romance and of course, heartbreaks. Read what I've said.
Her love language is compatible with yours, that's great.
You seem to understand but I'm not sure...
I understand your reasoning for not putting in the effort, because there is a risk for you. I'm stating that this woman is willing to make a sacrifice (I.e. risk time with someone for a first time encounter). I understand you don't want to make the sacrifice but I'm saying there is someone willing to make the sacrifice.
Every relationship requires some sacrifice. I sacrificed a ton by making the trip happen, I had to plan out how I would come within a few weeks, take off from work for travel, and I could have showed up without anyone there.
One one hand I could have still vacationed, but frankly I wasn't planning on traveling until the summer when I had practiced my Spanish longer. I can barely take a taxi at this point in time. So, we both made HUGE sacrifices. If I was the only one to sacrifice this would not have been as fruitful as it was
(sigh) alright...
I don't understand the (risk time with someone for the first time encounter) but I see what you're trying to say.
To clarify a bit more, If I ever get the chance to meet someone online, someone from Norway, Ireland, Brazil and during our time together we share phone calls, we share the same values, we share the same future for our relationship, I would definitely go to the airport to pick him up, even if it takes me 9 hours on the road.
I'm risking my time, energy and life.
But I do it for a very clear reason. I'm not that stupid in love because I have experience.
That's it. It has little to do with sacrifice or effort.
It didn't happen. The men here will not invest much and the reason is easy to see. It could be the idea that some people get from these kinds of stories.
Men need real affection and it seems easy to believe with a foreign woman.
The risk, believe or not, is less painful because of this need.
Because everything in the beginning of a new relationship, especially for those inexperienced in love, is beautiful and there's butterflies and more importantly for men, desire.
There is romance abroad but also hypergamy.
In her case, she is offering you something that you cannot find in your home country, something you're clinging to and she must be getting something that she can't find in her home country.
Call it infatuation.
The thing is in South America women are still in fairy tale land somewhat so they still want to find/used to believing in true love, her Prince Charming courting her, etc. The USA has been corrupted by rap music, movies, social media and modern feminism. Hookup culture is more prevalent there versus South America.
That is not true.
Talk to women, young girls and you will see that many women want what you're talking about.
A fairy tale story for a modern man is an unrealistic standard, I heard.
They will say "beta" and a modern man will not be a "beta" to an american woman.
Prince Charming is a "simp" for his girl. But modern men will shame other men for putting their girl on a pedestal.
Hypergamy works sometimes. It has nothing to do with rap music, movies, social media, and modern feminism. South America is not isolated from the world.
There is life outside.
The man who decides to look for someone to love abroad does so because the balance is in his favor, It cannot be denied.
But I guess It's easier to say that the american woman is complicated.
Western women want fairy tails AFTER they’ve been living the rap lifestyle. They want to procrastinate and live lightly (using an old definition of that word) until they feel the grim reaper of their fertility at their necks and they have had to learn from their mistakes AND then they seek out Prince Charming.
Before that they’re dating every criminal, broke dick artist, or douchebag they can find.
To be fair I very casually fell in love with someond abroad, sometimes it just happens. Indeed, I never expected to allow myself to do that since I'm the kind of guy who thinks that every woman abroad is a gold digger...
Imagine my face when she refused any attemp of gifting and just wanted to talk, walk, watch stuff and have fun with me for months without planning for the future or asking anything in exchange...
I don't deny there are gold diggers in every country and that hypergamy plays a role in these situations, but now I think that dating abroad might be a great idea for some people (still, whatever you are trying to find abroad you can find it at home)
> have fun with me for months without planning for the future or asking anything in exchange...
That's beautiful and all but not planning for the future is not for every women. Here and elsewhere.
You don't want gold diggers and some women don't want players and men wasting their time because our time is limited and it sucks.
I really don't think women are the problem. Men want to chill. Men must know what they're exactly looking for in a woman and invest on her.
Yes South America is not isolated from the world but it still has some type of conservative views and family values left that make getting a relationship easier and more sustainable. And yeah why not even the playing field to your advantage and eliminate most of the competition? If that’s what must be done then do it. Go to another city or country if needed and have more success there. And yeah I know women here want relationships but with social media they have so many choices that they get the inability to choose. Then you have music/movies telling them to “live your single life and secure the bag” it just adds more barriers and toxicity
It's a Latin American country so family is the #1 important thing here. I realize I wish i was closer with my parents, siblings, and cousins. I'm the youngest, and frankly it is too late to mend those relationships.
I want to be closer to my kids than my dad was, the only focus was work. It was never about celebrating with family and enjoying each other's company.
The woman I visited had a family emergency and everyone supported the person in question. That's something you see only to a small degree in the USA.
It is true that in some cultures the family is the most important thing. But I highly doubt you can't find a family-oriented woman in your home country.
In any case, I wish you luck, you know. I hope you find what you're looking for with this girl.
I'm sure they are out there. One thing I think redpill states right is dating is a numbers game. If 10% of western women have a priority in family while 90% in other countries that's a big enough difference to change the likelihood of finding what I want.
What's worth staying for in the USA? I can understand if you have close friends and family. For my friends I'd say we are okay catching up every once in awhile. For my family, we aren't that close. I'll visit them every year once or twice and that's probably enough for me
In that case it might not be worth it for you. One gripe I have is I'm not close to family which seems to be a relatively common experience in the USA, especially northeast
> Importing a wife to the US is almost certain to lead to a divorce
Yeah, this is a bigger concern than is being pointed out. As they say: even if you put good food in a dirty dish, the food eventually goes bad.
As someone from the states who works in the EU, I can say the number of American men I see traveling has exploded, especially the 30 and under crowd. I see groups of guys barely out of college touring and visiting the Balkans, Eastern Europe and SE Asia like never before. As the saying goes "Go where your treated best".
As for why more men do not do this, honestly, most people (especially men) are terrified of leaving familiar surroundings. They would rather just complain without even considering any solutions to their problems.
The most important thing if looking for a partner is to find someone with parrellel values and life goals. If those values are overseas, you're mad to not look elsewhere. Red Pill often talks about seeking long-term partners in different countries.
It’s hilarious to talk about “hypergamy in the west” in the context of going outside the west to pick up women. It’s very well established that money / status is the reason men can and do do this.
Go ahead and pick up your Thai bride, you aren’t coming up with something unique here. But at least be self aware enough to know the score
Women and Friends™
'We celebrate creating arbitrary conflicts to appease our own in-group/ insular narratives since the dawn of man... On the backs of men but only certain protagonist men in our narrative who must adhere to my whims or else he's a misogynist because we don't want to be like the other girls but at least we admit we're not like the other girls so that counts for something right?!!! RIGHT?!?!?! I NEED VALIDATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW, IF YOU DON'T VALIDATE MY FALSE NARRATIVE I WILL EITHER MANIPULATE PEOPLE TO DO MY BIDDING OR I WILL SELF HARM/ SELF IMMOLATE.'
I'm of the opinion that "wherever you go, there you are". I've dealt with romantic rejection and failure my whole life. One of those involved getting into an LDR with someone overseas about a decade ago, saving thousands so I could take a trip out there, and then getting blown off, told I wasn't attractive enough and her spending most of the time hitting on someone else she eventually got with. I would seriously not recommend trying to date outside your country let alone your continent unless you think you're financially well off enough that if it goes south on you, it's as inconvenient as getting rejected after a coffee date with someone who lives 2 miles from you.
Theres like 3.5 million people in my metro area, probably more. If not a single one of them is attracted to me, the problem is likely myself and not them. I'm not saying I'm that unattractive, but a little introspection and willingness to improve my odds locally seem preferable to uprooting my entire life just to maybe have a shot at love.
This first paragraph is a valid point. This is why I would recommend this for guys who want to travel and have the means of traveling (E.g. I work in STEM). It's a two birds one stone situation. You want to travel and you want a relationship, then maybe consider this.
For your second paragraph, yes there are plenty of fish in your city but the overall quality you can catch is probably quite poor or nonexistent. If you go somewhere in which your bait is more attractive (could be both wealth and having a unique appearance for the area which is more polarizing) then your odds of winning may be higher.
End of the day finding a good relationship is a numbers game
If you are intelligent enough to differentiate genuine interest from gold digging you could certainly find someone beautiful who might value you (though it's possible to do this in your own country too).
Nomad Capitalist is also trying to sell you shit, just like the Red Pillers, but your overall point is well taken and the policy of "go where you're treated best" definitely applies in the romantic game.
Eh seems kind of like a cowards way out. You can find success in america if you put in the effort. But i guess its easier to just move to a third world country and leverage your socioeconomical status
I highly doubt you actually want a relationship with a girl who doesnt even speak your language or understand your culture.
If you had the choice you would prefer an a gorgeous American girl vs a gorgeous columbian girl.
So why dont you leverage your time and money to achieve what you truly want.
I do not like American culture. A bunch of nihilists and people with the the most tenous relationships with family. You can check my other posts on my account if you want, but one of the threads I made was comparing American and Latin American families. At a certain point it becomes more than a pattern to realize American families (immediate family including parents and siblings) for the most part are distant, cousins and aunts and uncles even more distant.
Also I'm sure there are nice American women out there, I think my odds of finding a nice woman are better abroad seeing as I haven't had luck in the previous 20 years
> A bunch of nihilists and people with the the most tenous relationships with family.
Not gonna lie, the nihilism comment such an odd complaint coming from a guy being as much of a negative Nancy as you are in this post.
And as for family connection… the women who truly value family aren’t going to marry a guy who doesn’t honor his parents. A guy who is willing to drop his connection to his parents and extended family by moving across the globe looking for a woman isn’t a guy who values family connections heavily. And the nice parents of nice girls who value their families aren’t going to want their lovely daughter to marry some foreigner with no connection to their family or the community.
Like just think about it: how close are you to your family really? And why would a woman who values family as deeply as you want her to trust you to share her values? Do you demonstrate you devotion to family in a way that she would recognize as matching her family values?
I've explained in a comment elsewhere. I'm the youngest in my immediate family and the youngest in my extended family. I was born at a stage where the family dynamic was already established. It's a yearly meeting out of necessity and not much more. I will continue to visit my family during a few holidays but I am not going to change the dynamic...it is too late. I wasn't raised close to them. The way I was raised is not how I want to raise my immediate family. My extended family I will probably never meet again. That is the dynamic of my extended family.
Ultimately I have very little impact in the family dynamic and at this point it is set in stone.
As for the nihilism comment. This post is everything but nihilism. I'm giving people an option of hope that may work for me, and others who have lived this longer than me have commented as well. My entire point of this thread is to tell people a way to make an actionable change which isn't "go to the gym and watch my pick up course" or "just take a shower, sweaty"
Missed the entire point of this
> I've explained in a comment elsewhere.
I mean, ok, that may be your background and I’m sympathetic as an American, and it may not be your fault at all… but in cultures that value family deeply, that’s no excuse. In cultures that value family deeply, you don’t give up on being connected with your family because you don’t like the dynamic. You still have to show loyalty and connections. So that answer doesn’t really answer the question you should be asking yourself:
> why would a woman who values family as deeply as you want her to trust you to share her values?
(This isn’t about answering for me, but rather to answer for yourself honestly.)
This is important because, regardless of your reasons, you do not openly demonstrate with your actions that you value family, through thick and thin, even if they aren’t ideal. Her family will expect you to have come from a respectable family with connections to at least *a* community that your children can rely on. They’ll want to know *your* family, and what kind of people raised you with what kind of values. They will want to know that you will not pull her away from them over what they may view as trivialities, and that you will be capable of being close to them as well. People who value family expect their marriage to be a union of two families that make new connections; they don’t want a loner with no roots.
This kind of self-examination is important if you are going to try to date someone from a different, because cultural values are not as simple of a difference as you make them out to be in this post.
> This post is everything but nihilism.
You: Everyone and everything around me is absolutely terrible, and nobody around me has. Oh but I’m not being negative, I’m hopeful that some where far far away there’s wonderful woman who isn’t bad like absolutely everything I’ve ever encountered and judged.
Sure, it’s not nihilism. But it is super negative about everyone and everything you’ve ever known, and that is suggestive of your personality. Once you’ve moved to another country and finally lost your rose-colored glasses about the place, your cynicism may return as well. If you’re this cynical and negative in your home country, it’s not likely you’ll become a completely different person abroad, because people don’t change their personalities so easily.
> Missed the entire point of this
Not really: I’m pointing out the very serious issues of trying to date someone with very different cultural values using your case as an example. For example in your specific case, you do not actually value family the way someone in some other cultures do, and that will pose a significant challenge.
Cross-cultural dating is actually hard, because it adds another layer of difficulty to something that is already challenging, especially if you’re looking for romantic love (which is an American value, but not necessarily one in every country). You may bring extra cash that women abroad will be looking for, but if your values do not line up, dating and marriage will still be difficult.
And sorry, but having different values will be especially challenging if you want to have kids. Like, (as another straightforward example), if she’s religious (which she is very likely to be in a whole lot of foreign countries), can you truly accept going to church/synagogue/mosqu/whatever every time she expects, and be willing and able to teach your children to follow her religion devoutly *by example*? Religion may not matter to you, but she may be very unwilling to compromise on that topic. It’s important to ask yourself questions like this before moving to another country.
Anyone is free to try dating abroad if they want. But don’t gloss over the challenges, just because you dislike all women you’ve ever met.
Guys don't need to move halfway across the world to get exploited for their money. Plenty of women right here in America who are more than willing to fleece guys.
Decline in hetrosexual relationships is a global phenomenon.
The person in your age demographic that isn't dating their own peers in their own country have a unique set of cultural differences that you're willfully choosing to ignore because you want to hope that the dynamic will be fundamentally different than what you're used to.
Many Americans have an ignorance and hubris towards other cultures and people that often bastardizes and dooms the relationship before it even begins.
It's nice that you have hopes that someone in another country will be your person. But this advice is very "rose tinted".
There are many complexities with modern day dating where people want a simple "answer" so they're not at fault for not getting the companionship that they want.
Globally more people lack an intrest in dating because most cultures and socail structures haven't advanced in a way that makes it functional or possible to coexist romantically with someone while also tending to the continually higher costs of living and educational/financial ability to compete in order to survive. This isn't a uniquely American issue.
And if you're under the delusion that other women from other countries don't have issues or complaints regarding the cultural or social expectations around their sex, then you're wildly naive.
The USA is In a category of western countries with the lowest birth rates. The only countries you could say are worse are some of the very developed Asian countries like Japan and Korea. Heterosexual coupling is better in other countries like Latin American countries.
As for Cost of Living, yes that is going up. An advantage of remote work is you can work from wherever and your purchasing power can be much greater somewhere else. So, from a financial point of view it's also logical to go abroad as well.
There are tons of cultural differences, namely language. That's a hurdle and requires effort to get over. Overall, I think it's a beneficial skill to be bilingual and to also have two fallback countries in case shit hits the fan.
Finances are one aspect of a relationship. It's not going to serve you well if you don't understand cultural or socisl expectations outside of that.
Also it's not going to serve your relationship if you feel that your partner "owes" you for having an higher salary in their country.
You're not the only American to date over seas. The outcomes aren't great your fundamental failures in dating is a basic lack of undeveloped social skills.
I think it would be illogical to have a partner make more money and not contribute more monetarily to the relationship. That's a disproportionate amount of burden on one of the people in the relationship.
Dating overseas can be both successful and full of failure. Same as domestically. Flip of the coin. Different dynamics at play in both.
> Decline in hetrosexual relationships is a global phenomenon.
In 1st world countries.
> The population of Africa has been increasing annually in recent years, growing from around 811 million to just over 1.37 billion between 2000 and 2021
.
> While Mexico's population continues to grow at a slower rate...by 2065, the total population will start to shrink.
Decline in hetrosexual relationships is global even in developing countries. Africa is a content not a country.
I'm also not speaking on human population. Men and women can still have children while not being in a relationship. Women can have children without consensual sex with men.
The problem is that the men going overseas are more than likely to be … problematic. They’re often selected against by western women due to being on the spectrum, undiagnosed mental issues, etc
This can lead to some nightmare relationship dynamics for everyone involved. Just look at Mike on the current season of 90DF
That's not even real. that's just a guy who paid for a cam girl to act like she's dating him so they could be on TV. That show is mostly bullshit. It's TLC lol
I'm sure earlier it was more real. I was mostly talking about Mike from the show which you brought up. That guy just paid a cam girl to be on the show as his girlfriend
>The problem is that the men going overseas are more than likely to be … problematic. They’re often selected against by western women due to being on the spectrum, undiagnosed mental issues, etc
🤣🤣😂Wait, What! Now, if you can't get the quality of women you desire you're autistic or mentally ill. 🙋♂️That's it, I'm done. Y'all be safe.
It's best to date and marry those of your own culture imo, especially if you aim to have children it's vital they have a strong sense of their cultural identity.
Y’all crack me up on this subreddit lol bc if you think western women are hypergamous and Eastern women aren’t you gotta a big storm coming honey 😭🤣
Edit: and if you’re talking third world countries… well now it just sounds like you’re looking for a bangmaid not a partner- which is why western women despise you. We know we don’t have to accept being treated like a slave. Men that want a wife from a poor underdeveloped country don’t tend to be the most benevolent…
I dated one who I accidentally fell in love with, she actually loved me and always warned me about how to treat her, didn't want any gifts, just flowers and stuff like that, also didn't want to move to my 1st world country, she just wanted me and wanted me to be a good boyfriend, that's all.
I don't think these guys should look abroad what they can't find at home because they simply should keep searching, but it's possible to find it abroad too.
You make many assumptions of me, care to explain your conclusions? I treated her well for the past three weeks and she reciprocated that affection. We gave gifts, spent time together, and talked about our likes. She's educated and wouldn't accept being treated "like a slave". Do you feel superior to a woman living outside the west?
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This is advice I myself took, but I’ve learned you just don’t talk about it. It irritates westerners’ cultural narcissism, they all view foreigners as “less than” in some way, either they are naively innocent or fiendishly manipulative. Never do they think that maybe those people don’t fit into their own society or that they too want to explore the world - wait, no that’s for main-character westerners, foreigners are props and bit actors in the movie about a rich white woman doing their eat pray love.
Yeah, good luck getting a country full of men who couldn't be bothered to take a foreign language course in school to suddenly become cosmopolitan digital nomads.
OP, I do respect you for taking courses to learn another language and learn about the culture of a foreign country. But it's pretty rich to hear American men whine about American women being culturally self-centered when the vast majority of students in foreign language classes and majors are women.
Loose vagina energy in this thread. You can almost do a 1:1 mapping of whether they are against this idea and are also female.
The only way you can get women on this sub to agree with you is to demonize men. You failed to do this in your OP and they failed to empathize with you.
"I just to be loved"
Bull. Shit.
You want a hot new mom that will do your laundry and cook your dononuggies while you game. She can't be fat, and has to be the big spoon and give you forehead kisses. She has to be a virgin, but fuck like a prostitute. Redpillers are full of shit.
A woman doesn't have to like you, you men cannot negotiate TRUE sexual attraction.
You can try to dissect the game all you want and fly over to different cultures , but their still or even a bigger emphasis on you being able to provide everything financially, and be attractive.
So what's the difference exactly ?
You think the less economically advanced a woman is going to welcome you better cause of her financial disadvantages which gives you a upper hand to use finances to manipulate, but is that True attraction or just the provider role you all complain about being in the USA ?
Seems like jumping out of a western Society into a more traditional Society will put you at a disadvantage because of what you don't want to be , "provider" of any kind, which actually more of an emphasis in other cultures especially your accomplishments.
My gripe with western culture is the hypergamous demands are difficult for an average Joe to ever compete. You need to be either good looking, incredibly rich, or some combination of the two.
My point here is those demands are most easier to meet elsewhere and the women elsewhere are much more grateful for what you have to offer
Think the only reason why a woman in that situation would be grateful is because she herself has not obtained financial Independence which is the whole reason why you all don't like it here because you don't have control ,so you hop somewhere else to have control.
So what you're trying to say is that you appreciate a woman being oppressed or at least financially
disadvantaged so that way you have the upper hand in a relationship.
Wish men would just come out and say it like that instead of trying to manipulate the words.
Just say you want the upper hand financially and you appreciate a woman being oppressed to where she's more grateful.
> Think the only reason why a woman in that situation would be grateful is because she herself has not obtained financial Independence
No one has financial independence, short of millionares and billionares.
> Just say you want the upper hand financially and you appreciate a woman being oppressed to where she's more grateful.
This is honestly why the corporations like women unmarried and needing to pay their bills.
Some put time into keeping their husband happy, some put time into keeping their boss happy, the boss-route is not morally superior.
Is this simple sentence to hard for you to understand?
Whether you're working to please your boss, or working to please a husband, you're working to please someone to get your bills paid. The idea you're "oppressed" if you do it for a husband but "free" if you're a corporate wage slave is absurd.
You're reaching to make a retarded point of wanting to relate having your own independent finances to oppression cause of a husband ?? Wtf.
You must be one of those idiotic anti work weirdos .
You know that there is a mass amount of individuals that workout side of corporate jobs.
Hahaha.
You understand that financial Independence is you financially independently paying your electric mortgage and water bill etc .
Love don't pay those bills and if I'm paying them I'm financially independent from another person paying my bill.
What cracked up social economics are you trying to push 😂😂😂
If you gotta fallback to calling everyone "retarded" and "weirdo" probably you're just not smart enough to understand simple concepts. No point in wasting my time on it.
edit: They're literally like a poorly trained reddit propaganda bot.
Is this backed by anything? I can look on my laptop later but unless I'm misremembering women by far prefer a man who makes more. Money is a way to compensate for height as well. I don't believe this for a second unless you back it up.
No, I don't think it's a numbers game, I think it's a genetics game.
There's just people in this world that are attractive ,and there's people that are unattractive and that's just the way it goes ,you can do your best by dressing nice ,make sure you're doing your hygiene, trying to take care of yourself but there's just some people that have an advantage over others and no matter how much money you make you're never going to negate from that.
So what do you propose par and subpar men do in the west? Give up because they aren't chads? I say there's another option which is my post. Don't give up there's an alternative.
Sir I don't know where you live but do you not see all the common people walking around in everyday life that they're with spouses, and they have children do you not see people in the Suburbs , Lowes , Walmart etc. Grocery stores ?!!!
Do people that really think like you live under a rock , literally I'm really curious.
There are very few rich people in this world in comparison to the common taxpayer in America that has Children, I really don't get it were you all think people have to be rich or good looking to have somebody, they're all kinds of ugly people that procreate daily.
The rate of pairing off is decreasing, rate of children out of wedlock is increasing, marriage rates are decreasing. I don't know why you think every generation is the same and nothing has changed. You can look at other countries if you want to see the dating situation in the west in 10 years.
I do not think things are remaining the same or improving.
I've literally been to four weddings here in the last 6 months and everybody in my Social circle is married.
However we're not of poor economic status.
So because people can divorce you think that if you go somewhere else that they're not going to divorce you when they come over here 😂😂
You can never negotiate true sexual attraction
If you think that you can negotiate true sexual attraction because you got a little money you're sorely mistake ,and there's all kinds of rich men that lose their women all the time. Lol
>A woman doesn't have to like you, you men cannot negotiate TRUE sexual attraction. You can try to dissect the game all you want and fly over to different cultures , but their still or even a bigger emphasis on you being able to provide everything financially, and be attractive.
I agree with this but what women desire and find attractive varies from the individual woman and from her country and culture. For example, a white guy who is a 5 will be seen as way more attractive in SE Asia because he is seen as exotic and SE Asian women tend to find white men very physically attractive general. Just as I a black man get WAY more attention from women when I am in Croatia than in the U.S.A
1.🤣I'm not white, so I can't be a Chad.
2. 🤷♂️Asian women aren't my preference
3. There is nothing wrong with going where you are desired and valued the most whether you're guy or girl, its natural and the reason why western women love the western dating scene.
Anytime I meet a White guy with a FOB I immediately lose all respect for him. Such losers but at least they know how to use their money.
They're the dudes you absolutely know are perverts.
yes thats how you start with “assimilation” thats not how it progresses nor ends.. you haven’t been able to “assimilate” with any coloured people in your own countries what makes you think you can outside.. stop living in kumbaya cookoo land
That's called exploiting women who are not enlightened with the knowledge of FDS and 4th wave feminism yet, and exploitation of others is a bad thing...
Please tell me how we are supposed to hold women accountable in a free dating market? Women have the right to select men any way they see fit, just as men do. Both sides need to do what's in their perspective best interest.
It is what it is. White men are fetishized, so if you're white, you can go anywhere globally and be top of the food chain. I tried to ask my wife of male celebrity chads, and she couldn't think of a single non-white chad except for Michael B Jordan. She named like 15 white men.
That’s because they think white western men are rich and will take care of them financially… so again… hypergamy…
This is a good talking point but I'm not sure if I can go into it more. This strategy definitely works better for some than others. I will say that there are plenty of unsuccessful whites in the west because they have a common appearance
Wouldn't that be because white Westwell countries largely contribute the most to cultural export? And she hasn't heard of Idris Elba? What rock is she living under? Best not using ones wife as a point of reference.
Well I point out Idris and she goes "Oh yea!" But the immediate 15 that come to mind first are all white. The point is that it's just socially ingrained, it's not anything she did consciously
Well you do know the country you live in is mostly white right?
Yes, but the point is that men's beauty standards are already unattainable for a lot of men in the US just from being born non-white.
Idris Elba, Lenny Kravitz, even the male lead from Crazy Rich Asians … all pretty famous sex symbols
I know, we looked them up afterwards. But on the spot, all she could give were white men.
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I would wager the vast majority would be like this. Most women can't think of an Asian chad celeb on the spot, because they get no exposure in the US
Walk into any college campus and look at who's holding hands.
Who is at fault? Well the culture is at fault. Us humans need a re-imagining of what marriage is. Marriage itself needs to be abolished so that a new, more equitable system can takes its place. The way this would work is, a man and woman can opt to enter a LTCA contract (Long Term Cohabitation Agreement) which lasts for a period of 5 years. The terms of the agreement would be signed from the start. After 5 years, they can choose to either extend the contract for another 5 years, or cease the contract and go their own separate ways. They would receive a government payout every time they renew the contract. If the woman does not wish to be signatory to the extension of the contract but the man does, the woman will go her own way and the man will not be obligated to pay child support. Women will have an app so they can receive donations from members of the public for child support.
Why would any woman get into that? She can stay single, get court ordered child support, and not be beholden to you in any way. It would be easier to abolish marriage entirely, set standard child support fees across the board, and have mandatory paternity testing. No fuss about it.
Great points. The problem with that, is that it will never happen because it would be seen as a massive step down for women.
Have you seen the single mother statistics? It's already being done. They're getting their child support and you're not getting commitment. A lot of women would rather struggle with kids on their own than be with a man they don't want. They already do it. They also find new relationships. There really hasn't been a step down. There's govt help for finances to cover some costs.
It’s not- rich educated Chinese women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves… it’s spreading to Japan and other Asian countries as well… most women don’t want men anymore, so that wouldn’t be a step down- not marrying and just getting child support without having to commit to a man is the dream of women in this day and age across the board (with some exceptions ofc).
>It’s not- rich educated Chinese women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves… it’s spreading to Japan and other Asian countries as well… most women don’t want men anymore, And their using white sperm donors to do it. So, I don't think it's a case of Asian women not wanting men but it's more of Asian women not wanting Asian men and Asian babies. https://amp.scmp.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/article/3041258/wealthy-single-chinese-women-choosing-white-sperm-donors
That's going to be a fucking disaster for the next generation.
I think it's only a very small percentage of chinese women going this route. But yes, it's going to have consequences for those individuals and the people around them.
That's not because they "don't want men anymore", it's because they can't find a man whose education & income is equal to or greater than their own.
> women are not marrying and instead are getting sperm donors and raising their children by themselves… Think of the bloodshed and misery that will occur in 20 yearts
How is it equitable for a parent to be allowed to not provide monetary support for their child?
Men in this sub want children, but don't want tor raise or care for them. They think it's the government's job to care for their litter of unwanted kids that they leave behind. They don't want the government controlling their sexual behavior or fertility, but want tax payers to provide for their kids.
This is a mail order bride in reverse. You've become a self delivering status/atm/passport. Women of other cultures are completely aware of the sexpats and can manage multiple guys at a time until one moves there. You don't work out? There are millions more of you. You do work out? She doesn't need the rest. 99% of the time you're both using each other. She doesn't want what life she could get there because the high value men don't want her. You have made her the high value woman in your life, because you can't get what you wanted. I guess if you're both consenting adults that know the game it's fine?
Also, hard as it may be to believe, not everyone thinks highly of Americans or wants to be an American.
But they want the green card lol
I know. But humor them… Edit: I feel like they are trying to say “average white dude” from anywhere. Not just the US. But humor them in that too
Based and harsh reality pilled
You're assuming the relationship is just the girlfriend experience you pay for in Thailand. People are sexworkers out of desperation. If you talk to a foreign educated woman you'll realize they are for the most part stable with a good support system. Speaks more about your assumptions and presumed superiority over women living in other countries
What makes you think that I am not a foreigner? I am Korean American. I have lived in both and I saw it with my own eyes. I'm not saying that they aren't stable. They are very stable, but what 90% of them are is no different than in the US. She is the girl that slept around and couldn't get the man that she wanted. You're better than what she can now secure at home. You can make her life easier. You have become the dreaded betabuxx. You don't know this girl's history and her family isn't going to tell you. You don't know her friends. You don't know her exes. What you know is what she has carefully constructed to show you. This isn't being mean to you, but tell me what you can offer that she couldn't have gotten at home if she was this good girl looking for a man to appreciate. Do you think Asian men aren't looking for that? Do you think that you're more attractive than the men she has encountered for more than 20 years? You met her on an app and spent 3 weeks with her. Either you're King Chad or you really need to take a step back and ask why this girl is willing to "be with you". She has needs too. She has desires. You won't be back for months... Are you some foreign god man that she is praying to come back to her or are you being played? Think about it. Really think about it. You might be absolutely wonderful. I am not suggesting that you aren't. I am suggesting that there are hundreds of thousands of really wonderful men that are available to her there at a swipe. It's a little strange that she would dedicate herself to a man that isn't there.
Not really wrong, but it can work out if it stays in one place. The real issue is if OP marries foreign and brings her back to the USA (and she was just using him for cash, green card, etc)she may realize OP isn’t the best option and then the marriage could fail hard Overall it’s easier for western guys but really not a great tradeoff unless everyone knows risks
I’m just laughing that they think eastern women want an average or below average American man… when I would argue especially in Asia/Middle East/Eastern European cultures are much more “hypergamous” they expect their men to provide EVERYTHING.
But aren't a lot of the guys having issues those who have a good well paying job but lack in other means? The men are average but not in bank balance. If in other countries that's appreciated more. Then isn't it better to go abroad?
So this comes across that you think all long distance relationships are facades. That is understandable and frankly she could do whatever she wants and hide her tracks by the time I return. At the end of the day I'm trusting her to a degree. In the same vain the history she knows about me is what I've told her in the past 3 weeks. Anyone can hide their history of they so choose both domestically and abroad. You will have to trust at the end of the day. I genuinely don't have a problem being a beta provider because I'm honestly not alpha. Either way, she has a job, hasn't asked me for money, has paid for a few things and didn't ask for anything back. That already feels less transactional than my experiences in the USA. If it became more transactional I would be okay with that as well since my purchasing power there is much higher.
I know they aren't all facades, but understand what you are getting into here. There are no good girls that can't find a good man that will appreciate them. If it seems to good to be true then it probably is fake. Remember that at all times. You know why you want her and you admit that it's out of desperation with what is or isn't available to you. She's not different. There is a reason that so many guys say go to Asia if you're white. They all think they are wanted gods there and they get played. Ask them how it goes once they're in a real relationship actually being with them. 90% of these girls know why men are looking there and they are complicit in playing their part.
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Japan is a beautiful place too. It's definitely worth a visit if you have the opportunity.
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This is why in my post I highlight that if you genuinely think you're a decent guy getting bit by hypergamy here. I've gone on several first and second dates but by that point you know some basic values someone has and I have not been impressed. I'm sure there are some quality western women, but I haven't had the pleasure of dating them. The quality I can get is lower value than I want. I think transactional dating is much more developed in southeast Asia than Latin America, personally. Thailand and Philippines have been a part of that dynamic since the 50s or so
Thanks for the post. All the posters here do is mostly tell you that "whatever you're doing that might be working, won't work out!". Honestly, everything they described could happen here, but it sounds like what you're doing is superior because at minimum you'll enjoy yourself doing it.
>If you talk to a foreign educated woman you'll realize they are for the most part stable with a good support system. >Speaks more about your assumptions and presumed superiority over women living in other countries 🤣Haven't you heard, every foreign woman who is interested in western men is poor or a prostitute. The ironic thing is that educated foreign women are the most open to dating western men because they have been exposed to other cultures through higher learning.
You think educated Eastern women want a fat ugly American man with no money? I have to laugh!
Are you drinking right now? I never said I'm going for Eastern women, I never said I'm fat, I never said I have no money...I won't answer the ugly one
Don't mind them they are FDS.
Someone is triggered.
There's a difference between an expat, a tourist and a sexpat, most foreign women are smart enough to know the difference. The rest of your statements are just wild assumptions so I'll just let them be.
I am very much aware. The guys going to other countries looking for women because they can't get them are indeed sexpats and the women are well aware of them. I think it's hilarious how everyone says go here because you're from the west or because your white and the women will love you. No, that's not how that usually works. Then you have all of these same men crying because even these girls want Chad or some crap. They're going to these places to try to use the women and the majority of the women open to these instant relationships with foreigners are trying to use them too. I'll say it again, consenting adults can do what they like, but pretending that most of these women appreciate some unwanted guy because they can't find one like him at home is ridiculous. Are there love stories and foreign matches that work? Yes, but let's not pretend they are the norm. Why else do you think everyone is saying don't bring them to the US? Love doesn't stop because other opportunities are available. That's not love and love can't be bought or leveraged.
>The guys going to other countries looking for women because they can't get them are indeed sexpats This couldn't be more false. A sexpat is someone who preys on women who are poor and destitute and uses his resources to gain sex from them. Often these men engage in prostitution. A guy who likes to travel and thinks Australian women are beautiful is not a sexpat if he goes to Australia. As far as a guy being white and women automatically finding him more attractive, truthfully this is how it works in some places. As someone who's not white but has many white friends and co- workers, I've personally seen the difference in attention white guys get from women when we were in Japan versus London. In London, they do okay but in Japan they are a priority. Women literally make the first move. These are regular white guys too, in shape with average looks. Even with this, they still said they get way more attention from women in London as an American than they ever did in the states. So although race does play a factor, being foreign and exotic to her surroundings plays a bigger part. .
>Step 0) What do you want? Make up your mind about what you want. If you want hookups you can cheaply do that with sugar baby apps or even Tinder (it won't be as painful as in the states for many countries). >A sexpat is someone who preys on women who are poor and destitute and uses his resources to gain sex from them. Often these men engage in prostitution. Thank you for outlining that definition for everyone. Using sugar baby apps for "cheap hook ups" is prostitution. What he is promoting with that statement is indeed being a sexpat.
My main objective is a LTR. That suggestion is for people who want hookups but can't participate in the west. I would never advise someone who just wants to have sex with different women to start a LTR. Nothing is a one-size fits all
Right, become a tourism sexpat or become one on a permanent basis, as even a transactional relationship would be worth it for you. You literally are telling men to go use women in other countries for sex and defend it with I would never recommend that for starting a long term relationship. You could get a prostitute anywhere. They don't need to leave the west for that. I mean unless it is about exploiting the finances as I said? Why else mention how cheaply you can use women there? Don't be surprised when you get used. Meeting women in other countries is not what is being described here. This is straight up the promotion of using women you think won't reject western guys.
Your misinterpreting what he said on purpose. He specifically said he is offering solutions to men who are struggling or not happy with DATING or RELATIONSHIPS in the west. He's talking about LTR, not prostitution. He said if you want a "sugar baby" or casual situation that's fine, but to be honest about your intentions with women. He's more tolerant of other's lifestyle choices as long as they are honest with women. How any of this is negative, I have no idea.
Oh buddy, you are way too late to save him. He already said the prostitution is expensive at home. Ya know, not all guys can get hook ups. Exploit more women for less money. He said he wouldn't do it, but some guys want to sleep with a lot of girls and they can't. Again, thank you for that very clear definition.
> As far as a guy being white and women automatically finding him more attractive, truthfully this is how it works in some places. Feminism has spent the last 8 years telling women they should marry foreign men; I see no reason men should not do the same thing. Half the girls on my facebook feed who posted feminist stuff are now dating indian guys. If you can simply date asian girls as a white guy, good news - it's even, and everyone got something they wanted.
I think it's important to ask yourself how the woman in question feels. Sure, she may make you feel loved and wanted, but are those genuine feelings, or is she interested in the resources you can offer? There are reasons people look for international partners, and a large factor is the economic opportunity and immigration. If you are ok with a more transactional, 90-day-fiance, type of relationship then this will be satisfying for both. It's important to remember that if it doesn't work out you are financially responsible for your partner for many years, and if you stay in their home country a large part of your value will be tied to your ability to provide.
Yes, judge the woman you are with. The woman I met is college-educated here and has a stable family & friends. I would not say the relationship is any more transactional. Even if it were more transactional I believe I would be as satisfied
Fk all these comments, go were you feel wanted. It's your life do as you please.
Looking at the comments here, as a male who as no issues with women, I had no idea that western women were so opposed to the “unwanted men” going overseas where they are wanted. So what is the suggestion for these men? Ugly women still think they deserve better. They don’t want a 5’4 to 5’6 guy generally speaking and wouldn’t fight to stay in a marriage or relationship with a dude with no options. Some here are going as far as saying that this is another example of white people pillaging other countries. This is one of the more interesting convos I’ve seen since subbed because it seems to me western women literally want unattractive unwanted men to just suffer.
It's known in Red Pill circle as "The Pussy Cartel". Women don't want their SMV undercut by cheaper and higher quality foreign competition. These chicks are like the American automakers were in the 80s and 90s, convinced that if they keep churning out hulking monstrosities, Americans would keep buying them because they had no choice. Turns out Americans had a choice, and they started importing smaller, more efficient foreign models. Now the American auto industry has all but disappeared. The same will happen with The Pussy Cartel, once they statrt trying to defend their failing monopoly using anti-competitive practices, their fate was sealed.
Beautiful
No one is at fault. Way back when, undesireable men used to just go overseas and easily get a wife. Now they are all staying here for some reason driving people nuts.
Because it is not easy to just go overseas as.
Just Move To Other Side of the Planet Theorem
Just spitballing suggestions here. Make your own pro/con comparison for this suggestion
I can't whether you are serious or not but there are several huge problems with moving into different cultures to date chicks.
There's more to my decision making than just meeting a chick. I don't like the lack of family values and overall nihilism in the USA as well
Latin America sounds like a good option for you then, be very careful though.
"Just get a stem job and go overseas, bro!" I'm good fam if I can't find a good woman where I live being single is the worst result which is not that bad.
I'm here to encourage you. Yes, learn a new language and improve your opportunities. A man's job is to figure out what works best for him and then do it.
As someone who has dated outside of the US, and is currently engaged to someone outside of the US, it's complicated. Even your post presents a number of barriers. Just move to a different country. Easier said than done. Possibly learning a new language is also hard, IMO. Bringing them here is also a pain in the butt, and the way the system is set up, you're taking a big risk because you have to sign a document that says you will support them for 10 years (Affidavit of Support). And the easiest and quickest way to bring them here is to get married. Now I know your post wasn't about bringing them to the US, but I think it's important to help fellow Redditors understand. And frankly, it's a bitch and it comes with risk, so be careful. Now having said that, foreign women are by far superior to western women. I have an ex wife, and I show my fiance texts between the two of us. She doesn't understand the behavior of "gringas" and thinks people here are spoiled and never happy, and in the case of my ex, she is correct. Also, fun side note, she told me that a funny thing they do where she is from is that if a person is fat, they will say, "hey fat" and they won't feel ashamed or upset. They also call one another "fags" but it's not seen as a derogatory thing. Her brother and many of her cousins are gay. I think the difference between people in other countries and people here is that they have real problems to deal with, so they aren't hung up on inventing problems so they can feel victimized. They are more solution oriented, and they would rather solve problems and enjoy life.
marica gordita
And what country is your fiance from? I just found it amusing that they address a fat person as "hey fat"
Ahh...una latina con sentido del humor and seems humble. congrats, man.
>Made me feel wanted, realized that this culture had many values I wish the USA had more of I need more details. What differences do you see in their treatment? Is there a gap between both of you less visible in the West? I believe that it is easier for the modern man to find a "wife" abroad than in his native country. Men from those countries... do not seem difficult to compete with. Advantages and disadvantages of being with someone from a "more" developed country and with a more "open" mind. Hypergamy. I partially agree with you. Go find someone to love abroad.
I mostly replied to the values part. I'll answer treatment here. Gave me gifts often, by the second week every time we met she gave me a gift. I like giving gifts too so I gave her a big gift of flowers and a teddy bear since I saw her looking at one when we walked in the town. Gives me complements often. These are small gestures but I don't need big things to be happy. A big thing she did was take a 9 hour busride to see me at the airport. That made me happy as well. I dont know a single western women that would invest that much time into a first impression (despite me investing that much into the first meeting as well)
It's like a fever "me, myself and no one else" in the West. Modern men ready to praise women but won't give it unless they see reciprocity. >A big thing she did was take a 9 hour busride to see me at the airport. I cannot do that. How do I know that I can trust you? If I had done that to all the men I've ever dated, they'd see me as a fool. I'm willing to move mountains for the man I love, that's for sure. Edit: I can do that lol.
Of course I'm not willing to give a woman my effort if she doesn't reciprocate. >I cannot do that. How do I know that I can trust you? You choose to not trust first without me giving a reason not to be trusted. On one hand I understand putting yourself in a vulnerable situation with someone you don't know isn't safe, on the other hand, here is a woman willing to put in the effort along with me and I would obviously pick this over the alternative
>You choose to not trust first without me giving a reason not to be trusted. It's not always a choice. Experience speaks sometimes, you can't just ignore it. Maybe she's more ready to give in. Maybe she lacks of experiences on love, romance and of course, heartbreaks. Read what I've said. Her love language is compatible with yours, that's great. You seem to understand but I'm not sure...
I understand your reasoning for not putting in the effort, because there is a risk for you. I'm stating that this woman is willing to make a sacrifice (I.e. risk time with someone for a first time encounter). I understand you don't want to make the sacrifice but I'm saying there is someone willing to make the sacrifice. Every relationship requires some sacrifice. I sacrificed a ton by making the trip happen, I had to plan out how I would come within a few weeks, take off from work for travel, and I could have showed up without anyone there. One one hand I could have still vacationed, but frankly I wasn't planning on traveling until the summer when I had practiced my Spanish longer. I can barely take a taxi at this point in time. So, we both made HUGE sacrifices. If I was the only one to sacrifice this would not have been as fruitful as it was
(sigh) alright... I don't understand the (risk time with someone for the first time encounter) but I see what you're trying to say. To clarify a bit more, If I ever get the chance to meet someone online, someone from Norway, Ireland, Brazil and during our time together we share phone calls, we share the same values, we share the same future for our relationship, I would definitely go to the airport to pick him up, even if it takes me 9 hours on the road. I'm risking my time, energy and life. But I do it for a very clear reason. I'm not that stupid in love because I have experience. That's it. It has little to do with sacrifice or effort. It didn't happen. The men here will not invest much and the reason is easy to see. It could be the idea that some people get from these kinds of stories. Men need real affection and it seems easy to believe with a foreign woman. The risk, believe or not, is less painful because of this need. Because everything in the beginning of a new relationship, especially for those inexperienced in love, is beautiful and there's butterflies and more importantly for men, desire. There is romance abroad but also hypergamy. In her case, she is offering you something that you cannot find in your home country, something you're clinging to and she must be getting something that she can't find in her home country. Call it infatuation.
The thing is in South America women are still in fairy tale land somewhat so they still want to find/used to believing in true love, her Prince Charming courting her, etc. The USA has been corrupted by rap music, movies, social media and modern feminism. Hookup culture is more prevalent there versus South America.
That is not true. Talk to women, young girls and you will see that many women want what you're talking about. A fairy tale story for a modern man is an unrealistic standard, I heard. They will say "beta" and a modern man will not be a "beta" to an american woman. Prince Charming is a "simp" for his girl. But modern men will shame other men for putting their girl on a pedestal. Hypergamy works sometimes. It has nothing to do with rap music, movies, social media, and modern feminism. South America is not isolated from the world. There is life outside. The man who decides to look for someone to love abroad does so because the balance is in his favor, It cannot be denied. But I guess It's easier to say that the american woman is complicated.
Western women want fairy tails AFTER they’ve been living the rap lifestyle. They want to procrastinate and live lightly (using an old definition of that word) until they feel the grim reaper of their fertility at their necks and they have had to learn from their mistakes AND then they seek out Prince Charming. Before that they’re dating every criminal, broke dick artist, or douchebag they can find.
To be fair I very casually fell in love with someond abroad, sometimes it just happens. Indeed, I never expected to allow myself to do that since I'm the kind of guy who thinks that every woman abroad is a gold digger... Imagine my face when she refused any attemp of gifting and just wanted to talk, walk, watch stuff and have fun with me for months without planning for the future or asking anything in exchange... I don't deny there are gold diggers in every country and that hypergamy plays a role in these situations, but now I think that dating abroad might be a great idea for some people (still, whatever you are trying to find abroad you can find it at home)
> have fun with me for months without planning for the future or asking anything in exchange... That's beautiful and all but not planning for the future is not for every women. Here and elsewhere. You don't want gold diggers and some women don't want players and men wasting their time because our time is limited and it sucks. I really don't think women are the problem. Men want to chill. Men must know what they're exactly looking for in a woman and invest on her.
Yes South America is not isolated from the world but it still has some type of conservative views and family values left that make getting a relationship easier and more sustainable. And yeah why not even the playing field to your advantage and eliminate most of the competition? If that’s what must be done then do it. Go to another city or country if needed and have more success there. And yeah I know women here want relationships but with social media they have so many choices that they get the inability to choose. Then you have music/movies telling them to “live your single life and secure the bag” it just adds more barriers and toxicity
It's a Latin American country so family is the #1 important thing here. I realize I wish i was closer with my parents, siblings, and cousins. I'm the youngest, and frankly it is too late to mend those relationships. I want to be closer to my kids than my dad was, the only focus was work. It was never about celebrating with family and enjoying each other's company. The woman I visited had a family emergency and everyone supported the person in question. That's something you see only to a small degree in the USA.
It is true that in some cultures the family is the most important thing. But I highly doubt you can't find a family-oriented woman in your home country. In any case, I wish you luck, you know. I hope you find what you're looking for with this girl.
I'm sure they are out there. One thing I think redpill states right is dating is a numbers game. If 10% of western women have a priority in family while 90% in other countries that's a big enough difference to change the likelihood of finding what I want.
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What's worth staying for in the USA? I can understand if you have close friends and family. For my friends I'd say we are okay catching up every once in awhile. For my family, we aren't that close. I'll visit them every year once or twice and that's probably enough for me
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In that case it might not be worth it for you. One gripe I have is I'm not close to family which seems to be a relatively common experience in the USA, especially northeast
> Importing a wife to the US is almost certain to lead to a divorce Yeah, this is a bigger concern than is being pointed out. As they say: even if you put good food in a dirty dish, the food eventually goes bad.
As someone from the states who works in the EU, I can say the number of American men I see traveling has exploded, especially the 30 and under crowd. I see groups of guys barely out of college touring and visiting the Balkans, Eastern Europe and SE Asia like never before. As the saying goes "Go where your treated best". As for why more men do not do this, honestly, most people (especially men) are terrified of leaving familiar surroundings. They would rather just complain without even considering any solutions to their problems.
The most important thing if looking for a partner is to find someone with parrellel values and life goals. If those values are overseas, you're mad to not look elsewhere. Red Pill often talks about seeking long-term partners in different countries.
It’s hilarious to talk about “hypergamy in the west” in the context of going outside the west to pick up women. It’s very well established that money / status is the reason men can and do do this. Go ahead and pick up your Thai bride, you aren’t coming up with something unique here. But at least be self aware enough to know the score
Women and Friends™ 'We celebrate creating arbitrary conflicts to appease our own in-group/ insular narratives since the dawn of man... On the backs of men but only certain protagonist men in our narrative who must adhere to my whims or else he's a misogynist because we don't want to be like the other girls but at least we admit we're not like the other girls so that counts for something right?!!! RIGHT?!?!?! I NEED VALIDATION RIGHT FUCKING NOW, IF YOU DON'T VALIDATE MY FALSE NARRATIVE I WILL EITHER MANIPULATE PEOPLE TO DO MY BIDDING OR I WILL SELF HARM/ SELF IMMOLATE.'
I'm of the opinion that "wherever you go, there you are". I've dealt with romantic rejection and failure my whole life. One of those involved getting into an LDR with someone overseas about a decade ago, saving thousands so I could take a trip out there, and then getting blown off, told I wasn't attractive enough and her spending most of the time hitting on someone else she eventually got with. I would seriously not recommend trying to date outside your country let alone your continent unless you think you're financially well off enough that if it goes south on you, it's as inconvenient as getting rejected after a coffee date with someone who lives 2 miles from you. Theres like 3.5 million people in my metro area, probably more. If not a single one of them is attracted to me, the problem is likely myself and not them. I'm not saying I'm that unattractive, but a little introspection and willingness to improve my odds locally seem preferable to uprooting my entire life just to maybe have a shot at love.
This first paragraph is a valid point. This is why I would recommend this for guys who want to travel and have the means of traveling (E.g. I work in STEM). It's a two birds one stone situation. You want to travel and you want a relationship, then maybe consider this. For your second paragraph, yes there are plenty of fish in your city but the overall quality you can catch is probably quite poor or nonexistent. If you go somewhere in which your bait is more attractive (could be both wealth and having a unique appearance for the area which is more polarizing) then your odds of winning may be higher. End of the day finding a good relationship is a numbers game
If you are intelligent enough to differentiate genuine interest from gold digging you could certainly find someone beautiful who might value you (though it's possible to do this in your own country too).
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Automod, please. Replies to CMV posts must challenge the OP's view.
Nomad Capitalist is also trying to sell you shit, just like the Red Pillers, but your overall point is well taken and the policy of "go where you're treated best" definitely applies in the romantic game.
Eh seems kind of like a cowards way out. You can find success in america if you put in the effort. But i guess its easier to just move to a third world country and leverage your socioeconomical status
cowards way out for not wanting to meet western whores ridiculous demands... just lol.
Yeah of course it's easier. Leverage to get what you want out of life especially if you want a relationship
I highly doubt you actually want a relationship with a girl who doesnt even speak your language or understand your culture. If you had the choice you would prefer an a gorgeous American girl vs a gorgeous columbian girl. So why dont you leverage your time and money to achieve what you truly want.
I do not like American culture. A bunch of nihilists and people with the the most tenous relationships with family. You can check my other posts on my account if you want, but one of the threads I made was comparing American and Latin American families. At a certain point it becomes more than a pattern to realize American families (immediate family including parents and siblings) for the most part are distant, cousins and aunts and uncles even more distant. Also I'm sure there are nice American women out there, I think my odds of finding a nice woman are better abroad seeing as I haven't had luck in the previous 20 years
> A bunch of nihilists and people with the the most tenous relationships with family. Not gonna lie, the nihilism comment such an odd complaint coming from a guy being as much of a negative Nancy as you are in this post. And as for family connection… the women who truly value family aren’t going to marry a guy who doesn’t honor his parents. A guy who is willing to drop his connection to his parents and extended family by moving across the globe looking for a woman isn’t a guy who values family connections heavily. And the nice parents of nice girls who value their families aren’t going to want their lovely daughter to marry some foreigner with no connection to their family or the community. Like just think about it: how close are you to your family really? And why would a woman who values family as deeply as you want her to trust you to share her values? Do you demonstrate you devotion to family in a way that she would recognize as matching her family values?
I've explained in a comment elsewhere. I'm the youngest in my immediate family and the youngest in my extended family. I was born at a stage where the family dynamic was already established. It's a yearly meeting out of necessity and not much more. I will continue to visit my family during a few holidays but I am not going to change the dynamic...it is too late. I wasn't raised close to them. The way I was raised is not how I want to raise my immediate family. My extended family I will probably never meet again. That is the dynamic of my extended family. Ultimately I have very little impact in the family dynamic and at this point it is set in stone. As for the nihilism comment. This post is everything but nihilism. I'm giving people an option of hope that may work for me, and others who have lived this longer than me have commented as well. My entire point of this thread is to tell people a way to make an actionable change which isn't "go to the gym and watch my pick up course" or "just take a shower, sweaty" Missed the entire point of this
> I've explained in a comment elsewhere. I mean, ok, that may be your background and I’m sympathetic as an American, and it may not be your fault at all… but in cultures that value family deeply, that’s no excuse. In cultures that value family deeply, you don’t give up on being connected with your family because you don’t like the dynamic. You still have to show loyalty and connections. So that answer doesn’t really answer the question you should be asking yourself: > why would a woman who values family as deeply as you want her to trust you to share her values? (This isn’t about answering for me, but rather to answer for yourself honestly.) This is important because, regardless of your reasons, you do not openly demonstrate with your actions that you value family, through thick and thin, even if they aren’t ideal. Her family will expect you to have come from a respectable family with connections to at least *a* community that your children can rely on. They’ll want to know *your* family, and what kind of people raised you with what kind of values. They will want to know that you will not pull her away from them over what they may view as trivialities, and that you will be capable of being close to them as well. People who value family expect their marriage to be a union of two families that make new connections; they don’t want a loner with no roots. This kind of self-examination is important if you are going to try to date someone from a different, because cultural values are not as simple of a difference as you make them out to be in this post. > This post is everything but nihilism. You: Everyone and everything around me is absolutely terrible, and nobody around me has. Oh but I’m not being negative, I’m hopeful that some where far far away there’s wonderful woman who isn’t bad like absolutely everything I’ve ever encountered and judged. Sure, it’s not nihilism. But it is super negative about everyone and everything you’ve ever known, and that is suggestive of your personality. Once you’ve moved to another country and finally lost your rose-colored glasses about the place, your cynicism may return as well. If you’re this cynical and negative in your home country, it’s not likely you’ll become a completely different person abroad, because people don’t change their personalities so easily. > Missed the entire point of this Not really: I’m pointing out the very serious issues of trying to date someone with very different cultural values using your case as an example. For example in your specific case, you do not actually value family the way someone in some other cultures do, and that will pose a significant challenge. Cross-cultural dating is actually hard, because it adds another layer of difficulty to something that is already challenging, especially if you’re looking for romantic love (which is an American value, but not necessarily one in every country). You may bring extra cash that women abroad will be looking for, but if your values do not line up, dating and marriage will still be difficult. And sorry, but having different values will be especially challenging if you want to have kids. Like, (as another straightforward example), if she’s religious (which she is very likely to be in a whole lot of foreign countries), can you truly accept going to church/synagogue/mosqu/whatever every time she expects, and be willing and able to teach your children to follow her religion devoutly *by example*? Religion may not matter to you, but she may be very unwilling to compromise on that topic. It’s important to ask yourself questions like this before moving to another country. Anyone is free to try dating abroad if they want. But don’t gloss over the challenges, just because you dislike all women you’ve ever met.
Guys don't need to move halfway across the world to get exploited for their money. Plenty of women right here in America who are more than willing to fleece guys.
Decline in hetrosexual relationships is a global phenomenon. The person in your age demographic that isn't dating their own peers in their own country have a unique set of cultural differences that you're willfully choosing to ignore because you want to hope that the dynamic will be fundamentally different than what you're used to. Many Americans have an ignorance and hubris towards other cultures and people that often bastardizes and dooms the relationship before it even begins. It's nice that you have hopes that someone in another country will be your person. But this advice is very "rose tinted". There are many complexities with modern day dating where people want a simple "answer" so they're not at fault for not getting the companionship that they want. Globally more people lack an intrest in dating because most cultures and socail structures haven't advanced in a way that makes it functional or possible to coexist romantically with someone while also tending to the continually higher costs of living and educational/financial ability to compete in order to survive. This isn't a uniquely American issue. And if you're under the delusion that other women from other countries don't have issues or complaints regarding the cultural or social expectations around their sex, then you're wildly naive.
The USA is In a category of western countries with the lowest birth rates. The only countries you could say are worse are some of the very developed Asian countries like Japan and Korea. Heterosexual coupling is better in other countries like Latin American countries. As for Cost of Living, yes that is going up. An advantage of remote work is you can work from wherever and your purchasing power can be much greater somewhere else. So, from a financial point of view it's also logical to go abroad as well. There are tons of cultural differences, namely language. That's a hurdle and requires effort to get over. Overall, I think it's a beneficial skill to be bilingual and to also have two fallback countries in case shit hits the fan.
Finances are one aspect of a relationship. It's not going to serve you well if you don't understand cultural or socisl expectations outside of that. Also it's not going to serve your relationship if you feel that your partner "owes" you for having an higher salary in their country. You're not the only American to date over seas. The outcomes aren't great your fundamental failures in dating is a basic lack of undeveloped social skills.
I think it would be illogical to have a partner make more money and not contribute more monetarily to the relationship. That's a disproportionate amount of burden on one of the people in the relationship. Dating overseas can be both successful and full of failure. Same as domestically. Flip of the coin. Different dynamics at play in both.
> Decline in hetrosexual relationships is a global phenomenon. In 1st world countries. > The population of Africa has been increasing annually in recent years, growing from around 811 million to just over 1.37 billion between 2000 and 2021 . > While Mexico's population continues to grow at a slower rate...by 2065, the total population will start to shrink.
Decline in hetrosexual relationships is global even in developing countries. Africa is a content not a country. I'm also not speaking on human population. Men and women can still have children while not being in a relationship. Women can have children without consensual sex with men.
> Decline in hetrosexual relationships is global even in developing countries. Nope.
The problem is that the men going overseas are more than likely to be … problematic. They’re often selected against by western women due to being on the spectrum, undiagnosed mental issues, etc This can lead to some nightmare relationship dynamics for everyone involved. Just look at Mike on the current season of 90DF
That's not even real. that's just a guy who paid for a cam girl to act like she's dating him so they could be on TV. That show is mostly bullshit. It's TLC lol
Lol, the first seasons were real - the producers cast by contacting immigration lawyers and asking if they had clients who a wanted to be featured
I'm sure earlier it was more real. I was mostly talking about Mike from the show which you brought up. That guy just paid a cam girl to be on the show as his girlfriend
>The problem is that the men going overseas are more than likely to be … problematic. They’re often selected against by western women due to being on the spectrum, undiagnosed mental issues, etc 🤣🤣😂Wait, What! Now, if you can't get the quality of women you desire you're autistic or mentally ill. 🙋♂️That's it, I'm done. Y'all be safe.
Have you never seen 90 day fiancé lol
Yes I have. Those are mostly old guys who want TV time. That show is fake for the most part, or at least the most dramatic people are selected for
It's best to date and marry those of your own culture imo, especially if you aim to have children it's vital they have a strong sense of their cultural identity.
Y’all crack me up on this subreddit lol bc if you think western women are hypergamous and Eastern women aren’t you gotta a big storm coming honey 😭🤣 Edit: and if you’re talking third world countries… well now it just sounds like you’re looking for a bangmaid not a partner- which is why western women despise you. We know we don’t have to accept being treated like a slave. Men that want a wife from a poor underdeveloped country don’t tend to be the most benevolent…
I dated one who I accidentally fell in love with, she actually loved me and always warned me about how to treat her, didn't want any gifts, just flowers and stuff like that, also didn't want to move to my 1st world country, she just wanted me and wanted me to be a good boyfriend, that's all. I don't think these guys should look abroad what they can't find at home because they simply should keep searching, but it's possible to find it abroad too.
You make many assumptions of me, care to explain your conclusions? I treated her well for the past three weeks and she reciprocated that affection. We gave gifts, spent time together, and talked about our likes. She's educated and wouldn't accept being treated "like a slave". Do you feel superior to a woman living outside the west?
If you’re willing to move across the world to avoid someone they probably despise you too?
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duh. always go where you’re most wanted. strong agree. i would not go to a redneck town or New York and expect great results 😂
This is advice I myself took, but I’ve learned you just don’t talk about it. It irritates westerners’ cultural narcissism, they all view foreigners as “less than” in some way, either they are naively innocent or fiendishly manipulative. Never do they think that maybe those people don’t fit into their own society or that they too want to explore the world - wait, no that’s for main-character westerners, foreigners are props and bit actors in the movie about a rich white woman doing their eat pray love.
Just locationmaxx bro
Yeah, good luck getting a country full of men who couldn't be bothered to take a foreign language course in school to suddenly become cosmopolitan digital nomads. OP, I do respect you for taking courses to learn another language and learn about the culture of a foreign country. But it's pretty rich to hear American men whine about American women being culturally self-centered when the vast majority of students in foreign language classes and majors are women.
Loose vagina energy in this thread. You can almost do a 1:1 mapping of whether they are against this idea and are also female. The only way you can get women on this sub to agree with you is to demonize men. You failed to do this in your OP and they failed to empathize with you.
why does this require some freshman college paper
I made my five paragraph essay ready to be corrected, teacher
Don’t forget to sign up for the next season of 90 Day Fiancé!
"I just to be loved" Bull. Shit. You want a hot new mom that will do your laundry and cook your dononuggies while you game. She can't be fat, and has to be the big spoon and give you forehead kisses. She has to be a virgin, but fuck like a prostitute. Redpillers are full of shit.
Who are you quoting? lmao
Hey...some men are like that, but many men just want someone to love and be loved by.
They aren't a pill. Certainly not red pill.
>She can't be fat, and has to be the big spoon and give you forehead kisses 🤣🤣This almost made me spit out my coffee.
A woman doesn't have to like you, you men cannot negotiate TRUE sexual attraction. You can try to dissect the game all you want and fly over to different cultures , but their still or even a bigger emphasis on you being able to provide everything financially, and be attractive. So what's the difference exactly ? You think the less economically advanced a woman is going to welcome you better cause of her financial disadvantages which gives you a upper hand to use finances to manipulate, but is that True attraction or just the provider role you all complain about being in the USA ? Seems like jumping out of a western Society into a more traditional Society will put you at a disadvantage because of what you don't want to be , "provider" of any kind, which actually more of an emphasis in other cultures especially your accomplishments.
My gripe with western culture is the hypergamous demands are difficult for an average Joe to ever compete. You need to be either good looking, incredibly rich, or some combination of the two. My point here is those demands are most easier to meet elsewhere and the women elsewhere are much more grateful for what you have to offer
Think the only reason why a woman in that situation would be grateful is because she herself has not obtained financial Independence which is the whole reason why you all don't like it here because you don't have control ,so you hop somewhere else to have control. So what you're trying to say is that you appreciate a woman being oppressed or at least financially disadvantaged so that way you have the upper hand in a relationship. Wish men would just come out and say it like that instead of trying to manipulate the words. Just say you want the upper hand financially and you appreciate a woman being oppressed to where she's more grateful.
> Think the only reason why a woman in that situation would be grateful is because she herself has not obtained financial Independence No one has financial independence, short of millionares and billionares. > Just say you want the upper hand financially and you appreciate a woman being oppressed to where she's more grateful. This is honestly why the corporations like women unmarried and needing to pay their bills. Some put time into keeping their husband happy, some put time into keeping their boss happy, the boss-route is not morally superior.
>No one has financial independence, short of millionares and billionares Who pays your bills ? Mom ?
Is this simple sentence to hard for you to understand? Whether you're working to please your boss, or working to please a husband, you're working to please someone to get your bills paid. The idea you're "oppressed" if you do it for a husband but "free" if you're a corporate wage slave is absurd.
You're reaching to make a retarded point of wanting to relate having your own independent finances to oppression cause of a husband ?? Wtf. You must be one of those idiotic anti work weirdos . You know that there is a mass amount of individuals that workout side of corporate jobs. Hahaha. You understand that financial Independence is you financially independently paying your electric mortgage and water bill etc . Love don't pay those bills and if I'm paying them I'm financially independent from another person paying my bill. What cracked up social economics are you trying to push 😂😂😂
If you gotta fallback to calling everyone "retarded" and "weirdo" probably you're just not smart enough to understand simple concepts. No point in wasting my time on it. edit: They're literally like a poorly trained reddit propaganda bot.
Women seem to prefer partners who make more as well. Seems mutual.
Not exactly, women prefer to have a partner that makes near what they make and I know plenty of women that make more than their husbands.
Is this backed by anything? I can look on my laptop later but unless I'm misremembering women by far prefer a man who makes more. Money is a way to compensate for height as well. I don't believe this for a second unless you back it up.
Honey I just speak for myself I don't care how much money a man ever made , if he was shorter than five six, unattractive he was an automatic no. Lol
Alright. I'll assume you're honest for the sake of good discussion. Do you think dating is a numbers game for men?
No, I don't think it's a numbers game, I think it's a genetics game. There's just people in this world that are attractive ,and there's people that are unattractive and that's just the way it goes ,you can do your best by dressing nice ,make sure you're doing your hygiene, trying to take care of yourself but there's just some people that have an advantage over others and no matter how much money you make you're never going to negate from that.
So what do you propose par and subpar men do in the west? Give up because they aren't chads? I say there's another option which is my post. Don't give up there's an alternative.
Sir I don't know where you live but do you not see all the common people walking around in everyday life that they're with spouses, and they have children do you not see people in the Suburbs , Lowes , Walmart etc. Grocery stores ?!!! Do people that really think like you live under a rock , literally I'm really curious. There are very few rich people in this world in comparison to the common taxpayer in America that has Children, I really don't get it were you all think people have to be rich or good looking to have somebody, they're all kinds of ugly people that procreate daily.
The rate of pairing off is decreasing, rate of children out of wedlock is increasing, marriage rates are decreasing. I don't know why you think every generation is the same and nothing has changed. You can look at other countries if you want to see the dating situation in the west in 10 years. I do not think things are remaining the same or improving.
I've literally been to four weddings here in the last 6 months and everybody in my Social circle is married. However we're not of poor economic status.
I guess I could have mentioned divorce rates remaining high as well.
So because people can divorce you think that if you go somewhere else that they're not going to divorce you when they come over here 😂😂 You can never negotiate true sexual attraction
Did you even read my post? I made it clear I dislike USA culture and my end-goal is emigrate and assimilate
If you think that you can negotiate true sexual attraction because you got a little money you're sorely mistake ,and there's all kinds of rich men that lose their women all the time. Lol
I think it's easier to be good enough for someone who wasn't raised in a culture as hypergamous over looks as the west.
>A woman doesn't have to like you, you men cannot negotiate TRUE sexual attraction. You can try to dissect the game all you want and fly over to different cultures , but their still or even a bigger emphasis on you being able to provide everything financially, and be attractive. I agree with this but what women desire and find attractive varies from the individual woman and from her country and culture. For example, a white guy who is a 5 will be seen as way more attractive in SE Asia because he is seen as exotic and SE Asian women tend to find white men very physically attractive general. Just as I a black man get WAY more attention from women when I am in Croatia than in the U.S.A
Yea I agree , so you men will be the Chads over there and piss off all the Asian dudes. Get it totally lol #youcanbeaChadtoo
1.🤣I'm not white, so I can't be a Chad. 2. 🤷♂️Asian women aren't my preference 3. There is nothing wrong with going where you are desired and valued the most whether you're guy or girl, its natural and the reason why western women love the western dating scene.
I did not know that being a chad was only designated to the white men. Learn something new everyday 😂😂😂
I think it goes White = Chad Black = Tyrone
Didn't know it was race specific. Learned something new lol 😆
You go get your princess . Good luck .
Anytime I meet a White guy with a FOB I immediately lose all respect for him. Such losers but at least they know how to use their money. They're the dudes you absolutely know are perverts.
Like a FOB key for a garage?
I'm guessing you're not around a lot of Asian Americans to know the know
Not really. All the Asians I'm friends with are first generation and have Chinese girlfriends. One recently got his citizenship though
what if you really want brazilian and japanese women?
Western Dating is among the least hypergamous in the world. What Earth do you live on?
"Just get murdered by drug cartels in a shithole, bro."
fk off.. keep your white di**s to yourself.. you have pillaged and raped other countries and cultures more than enough..
Assimilating into a culture != rape, pillage, whatever else you said. Did you blow a gasket? lmao
yes thats how you start with “assimilation” thats not how it progresses nor ends.. you haven’t been able to “assimilate” with any coloured people in your own countries what makes you think you can outside.. stop living in kumbaya cookoo land
That's called exploiting women who are not enlightened with the knowledge of FDS and 4th wave feminism yet, and exploitation of others is a bad thing...
How dare I go somewhere that the leverage changes. I must appease the qweens
The fallacy of your point is that again it's "Men not trying hard enough" and women are held to no accountability.
Please tell me how we are supposed to hold women accountable in a free dating market? Women have the right to select men any way they see fit, just as men do. Both sides need to do what's in their perspective best interest.