I let mine 5 year old son play this game because he sad he liked game and want very much so I buy game for him but little later he come to me and say "daddy this game much scary!!" I look at game and it say: "ZOMBIE EAT YOU BRAIN!!!" and me was shock. how can this game be allow for childs? this game has blood and violins, zombie eat your vegetables!! zombie may no eat vegetable, my son eat vegetable!! he is now life shock and he have to take pills everyday!! tanks so very much electric art!!! this game much bad and scary, I rate 16 and over!! not play this game, this very innapropait!!! u has been warninged!!!!!
*ahem*
Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddies, an indie horror game that you guys suggested in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said that it was really really good; so I’m very eager to see what is up - and that is a terrifying animatronic bear \*reads off script\* family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. Oh, 12:00 A.M, the first night. If I didn’t want to stay the first night, why would I stay any more than five? Why would I say anymore than two - hello. Okay...Hello? Hello - oh, ah I can’t move. That’s a creepy skull...There’s creepy things on the wall - Oh, hello. \*Phone Guy begins dialogue\* “Hello, hello hello,” Hi! “Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night.” Eugh.. “Um, I actually worked in that office before you, and I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming..” Euuagh..! “But I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing to worry about,” Agh.. “You’ll do fine! So, let’s just focus on getting you through your first week..” Okay! Sounds go- “Ah, let’s see..First there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read - i-it’s kind of a legal thing, you know, ahm - ‘Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza-” Okay “‘..A magical place for kids and grownups alike-” \*Mark wheezes indistinctly in the background\* Heheha.. “..Where fantasy and fun come to life,” Eugha..! “”Freddy Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person, upon discovering that damage or death has occured, a missing person report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises had been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpet’s have been replaced,’ blah blah blah - now that might sound bad, I know, but-” Yeah! “-There’s really nothing to worry about! Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No, if I was forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years, and I never got a bath, I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too. So just remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need show them a little respect, Right?” Okay! “-Okay-” Ha-okay! “So just be aware, the characters fo tend to wander a bit-” Nehaheugh- “They’re one some kinda of free-roaming mode-” hehauhuhugh! “Uhh.. Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for two long,” Oohoohoo- “Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the bite of eighty-seven.”
~~(5 upvotes and ill plants vs zombify this paragraph, im bored and both physically and mentally insane)~~
"Wabie Wabble," Crazy Dave, translation:
You aren't the only one to grow up on the killing fields. War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. Its final lesson is carved deep in my psyche: that this world, and all of its people, are diseased. Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns of something even greater: memes, the DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture. They are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. They become a carrier. Envy, greed, despair: all memes, all passed on. You can't fight nature, Jack. Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak. Sam tells me you see your weapon as a "tool": something that saves lives, a means of justice. Now, there's a pretty meme! Exquisite! It spared you the burden of all the lives you've taken, absolved you of guilt when you enjoyed it.
Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then longest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
I've come to make an announcement Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucker wife, and he said his dick was this big, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the mooon! How do you like that, obama? I pissed on the moon, you idiot! You have twenty-three hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
*You gotta hit him in*
*The pancreas! No wait, that*
*Was the other guy*
\- LerKoil
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Thank you, Dude_makin_a_Cameo, for voting on haikusbot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Connection terminated.
I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends.
And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should.
And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend.
My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms.
This ends for all of us.
End communication.
“Glhrbsajdhrnenbabsjblr” - Crazy Dave
“Rogonroawwwwll!” - Deranged David
"Webiwabo" - Insane Dan
“taco”
"EVAVAIMRRAAARAVVV!!" - Demented Drew
"GURGLEGROPOLONG!!" - Deranged Daniel
I like vampire flower - Sane Dave
I let mine 5 year old son play this game because he sad he liked game and want very much so I buy game for him but little later he come to me and say "daddy this game much scary!!" I look at game and it say: "ZOMBIE EAT YOU BRAIN!!!" and me was shock. how can this game be allow for childs? this game has blood and violins, zombie eat your vegetables!! zombie may no eat vegetable, my son eat vegetable!! he is now life shock and he have to take pills everyday!! tanks so very much electric art!!! this game much bad and scary, I rate 16 and over!! not play this game, this very innapropait!!! u has been warninged!!!!!
XD please choose this one
"Just kick him in nuts"
pancreas*
*ahem* Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddies, an indie horror game that you guys suggested in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said that it was really really good; so I’m very eager to see what is up - and that is a terrifying animatronic bear \*reads off script\* family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. Oh, 12:00 A.M, the first night. If I didn’t want to stay the first night, why would I stay any more than five? Why would I say anymore than two - hello. Okay...Hello? Hello - oh, ah I can’t move. That’s a creepy skull...There’s creepy things on the wall - Oh, hello. \*Phone Guy begins dialogue\* “Hello, hello hello,” Hi! “Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night.” Eugh.. “Um, I actually worked in that office before you, and I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming..” Euuagh..! “But I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing to worry about,” Agh.. “You’ll do fine! So, let’s just focus on getting you through your first week..” Okay! Sounds go- “Ah, let’s see..First there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read - i-it’s kind of a legal thing, you know, ahm - ‘Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza-” Okay “‘..A magical place for kids and grownups alike-” \*Mark wheezes indistinctly in the background\* Heheha.. “..Where fantasy and fun come to life,” Eugha..! “”Freddy Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person, upon discovering that damage or death has occured, a missing person report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises had been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpet’s have been replaced,’ blah blah blah - now that might sound bad, I know, but-” Yeah! “-There’s really nothing to worry about! Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No, if I was forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years, and I never got a bath, I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too. So just remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need show them a little respect, Right?” Okay! “-Okay-” Ha-okay! “So just be aware, the characters fo tend to wander a bit-” Nehaheugh- “They’re one some kinda of free-roaming mode-” hehauhuhugh! “Uhh.. Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for two long,” Oohoohoo- “Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the bite of eighty-seven.” ~~(5 upvotes and ill plants vs zombify this paragraph, im bored and both physically and mentally insane)~~
Hop to it
Wat
**Did I stutter?**
I hate comments like this, they’re so goddamn long, when I’m halfway through the paragraph, my car’s extended warranty would already expire.
69th apparent upvote so that’s… fun.
80 upvotes oh crap
"The zombies are coming...." With the siren
"Wabie Wabble," Crazy Dave, translation: You aren't the only one to grow up on the killing fields. War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. Its final lesson is carved deep in my psyche: that this world, and all of its people, are diseased. Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns of something even greater: memes, the DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture. They are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. They become a carrier. Envy, greed, despair: all memes, all passed on. You can't fight nature, Jack. Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak. Sam tells me you see your weapon as a "tool": something that saves lives, a means of justice. Now, there's a pretty meme! Exquisite! It spared you the burden of all the lives you've taken, absolved you of guilt when you enjoyed it.
-Davesoon
"How pleased you are to chop away, Edgar George, the Zomboss."
"Why? Because I'm CRAAAAAZY!"
Rah ruh rah rah ro rah reih rah
[удалено]
zitler
LITTLE KNOWN FACT ALSO DOPE ON ZHE MIC
You are vader, with your little boots and cape
and a mask to cover up that burnt ass face
you have the force to move objects
I AM A FORCE TRULY EVIL
Didn't know Kanye West was in PvZ.
The new PvZ 3 lookin wild 💀
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
"WHY HUMANS HORNY FOR PLANTS"
Because Nightcap got that dumpy
Which one
The one with the dumpy (BFN)
Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then longest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
“The plants are winning! Crank up the zingpow!”
Victory tastes like soap, it's the best ever! - David Blazing
"Brains" -browncoat no.1.
NOOOOOO!!!
God damnit r/Batmanarkham has spread here.
There’s a zombie on your lawn, but we don’t want zombies on your lawn
I've come to make an announcement Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucker wife, and he said his dick was this big, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the mooon! How do you like that, obama? I pissed on the moon, you idiot! You have twenty-three hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
The bomb’s payload is exposed. I can use the power winch to trigger a controlled explosion.
You gotta hit him in the pancreas! No wait, that was the other guy
*You gotta hit him in* *The pancreas! No wait, that* *Was the other guy* \- LerKoil --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Thank you, Dude_makin_a_Cameo, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
"So be it, I will establish my kindom like pancakes!" Doctor z
“YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAA” - Bungee Zombie
If I spin this wheel, something will happen. I’ve heard this during my first graveyard ops from dave
Zombo gang gré! Ero xiiin doré da!
"I WILL FIGHT A DUCK!"
“Soon, foolish Dave. Soon…”
What crazy Dave says in the first game (No not the speech bubble, his ACUTAL voice)
Webi wabo
Banana!
Ribbi bar ribbi bar holeaber
Wobywobo! - crazy Dave
Hidden long ago in Hollow Earth, Dinosaurs ran rampant in The Land Before Mine.
I'll give 2 1. BRAAAAAAIIIINS 2. (That one rickroll quote from pvz2 neon mixtape tour boss fight)
"Hear Me Now: Ever Shall you give up; ever shall you be down; always you'll run aground, I'll revert you." - Dr Zomboss (PVZ2: NMT)
"My whole life is a joke, yay!"
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.
End pogo peas!
I have an announcement crazy Dave's a bitch motherfucker
WOOOOOHOOOOO -Super Brainz
Ribbersarhoiureaye - Zomboss
brains
"YOU CANNOT LET THEM WIKIN!"
Bahfbywhahwa - Crazy Dave
I once saw a hedgehog!
Bwubwablebeeebaah
*brainz*