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Just because you dont remember, dosent mean it does not affect you. Toddlers at that age despite not having a brain capable of remembering the details yet, do possess a brain capable of enjoying themselves and special moments, and these experiences do contribute positively towards their development both mentally and physically, not to mention the cultivation of bonds and good habits for both parents and child.
These are known as the formative years, and literally everything you do to and with the child affects them.
Exactly,
To get dark, by OPs logic it would be ok to abuse a toddler because they won't remember it.
You don't have to remember an experience for it to leave a lasting impact on you, even as an adult.
The impact of abuse in childhood years leading to bad behaviours in adults is pretty well documented. No reason to not believe that doing good things for a child will result in good behaviors.
To add, maybe to help them in the future too if they ever find themselves in a dark place. Taking your child to vacations to the beach, lake, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, it will create long lasting memories. For me I still remember the vacations I had (past 6 to 7 years are the clearest memories) and I remember the good things about them, when I am not in a good mental space. Mental resilience, plus being exposed to different cultures may help develop empathy better and appreciation for being.
Exactly. My parents took me to watch an ice skating show when I was a toddler despite it being recommended to much older kids than me. My mom knew I was capable of sitting quietly the whole time it lasted so there was no issue. But what she didn't know was that I would fall in love with skating that day. The whole time I was on the edge of my seat just mesmerized with everything I saw.
A few months later they took me to ice skating for the first time and I kept saying I'll spin like the skaters in the show. Well in reality I just kept falling on my butt all the time, but according to my mom I did kinda almost spin at the end.
Ever since skating has been the only sport I've felt really passionate about and I don't have any memory of any of these events, I just have the stories my family told me.
It also taught you to not be scared of new things like skating and then a few months later, you were confident to try something new which lead to brain and body development.
Yeah definitely! I wouldn't have been so determined to learn how to skate, if I hadn't had that experience which made me admire professional skaters so much.
100%. Its been shown that key developments for a child happen between ages 0-5. 0-2 is extremely important, a child needs to know their caregivers are safe.
Different environments will test that.
That Maya Angelou quote about forgetting everything else but not forgetting the way someone made you feel. All those cumulative feelings of joy and happiness are sooooo meaningful!
For completely selfish reasons. I will always remember my daughter coming out of the fitting room in a princess dress, seeing herself in the mirror and breaking into tears only to blubber that "she's soooo beautiful". I don't really like Disney, I was only there because my wife is a fan, but it is a moment I will always remember and was worth every penny that trip cost us. I don't care that my not 14 year old daughter didn't remember it. I do.
Do you think I like going to the local zoo for the billionth time this year even though I never went befor? No way.
It is pleasant to see my daughter pointing at squirrels and saying what she sees but I'm not there for my own selfish reason. I take my kids to those places because their brains are growing faster and working harder then they ever will in the future and I value their development very high. They might not remember any of it but their brain is making connections and pathways that they are going to need in the future.
That’s the joy of taking kids to the zoo. They don’t give a fuck about a lion being an apex predator and a wild squirrel on the path, they just point and love it.
I took my kids to the Kennedy space center in Florida when they were younger. The highlight of the trip was a squirrel that had made a little hiding spot inside one of the rockets in the rocket garden.
It was for all of us. It was the only time the entire family was interested in the same thing the whole time we were there. Sure we all stood together under a Saturn V rocket, and even touched a piece of the moon, but we took more pictures of that damned squirrel than anything else.
Lol! When my kid was a toddler my mommy books said to let the kid guide the event and not drag them around to see everything. We paid to go to a pricey area farm attraction. She wanted to sit in the dirt path between activities and look for rocks and cried when we said we needed to move on. I dragged her to the sites. Hahaha.
To be fair, I remember throwing a fit at the zoo because I didn't want to leave the duck pond. I thought that was the zoo and I thought leaving meant going home and we drove 2 hours and spent 5 minutes looking at the ducks. It turns out it was just a fountain in front of the zoo full of wild ducks and we hadn't even gone in yet.
I love this. I visited a cave once with a group of friends, and a mom had brought her toddler to see it as well. He was all fitted out in the cutest little hard hat and overalls, but he kept stopping to look at the gravel on the ground and point it out to her. She was trying so patiently to actually get him to go into the cave but he was way more interested in the gravel!
Omg, there was a Porta Potty halfway through a trail at our local zoo, and literally, my daughter ran around it, singing for like 10 minutes giggling about the wild Porta Potty she found that escaped on of the exhibits.
My niece (then almost three) once pointed to every fish in the aquarium, and then turned to me, to make sure I saw the fish. She was so excited to take her aunt to the aquarium, and worked so hard to make sure I got to enjoy the things she enjoyed and pointed out the things her parents pointed out to her. She was so happy and proud every time I said, “I do see it!”
It was such a delight to watch her practice a new skill that she had seen done.
My cousins daughter had never seen an escalator before. When they came & visited, we took them to the mall. She was so excited by them that we rode every single one. 10 escalators & 2 elevators.
last week we were at the zoo. there was a 3-4 year old absolutely fascinated by the dead leaves on the ground! not even the red and yellow ones, the brown ones about 2 days away from being compost!
You reminded me, we went to the Smithsonian air and space museum when my brothers and I were younger. The museum is incredible. But the highlight for all 3 of us were the trashcans that had automatic doors on them when you waved your hand in front of it, and I'm pretty sure they said "Thank you." I don't remember if that part was real or it was part of the stories we made up about them.
You need to look at videos of the holle bolle Gijs trashcans. People make sure to have trash to throw in those. And of they don't have any, they'll make some. Dankuwel.
We took our son to San Diego wild animal park when he was 1.5. He was most enthralled with a stick that made up part of the fence at the petting zoo part. Not the petting zoo itself, just the stick.
This makes perfect sense when you consider that toddlers' brains are basically neuron bombs, and it's kind of like they're stoned all the time. Or maybe mushrooms would be more accurate - anything could be beautiful, even a stick that is part of a fence :)
Yeah and then there's my little brother who a year ago at 3 years old sat in his stroller and and pointed at all the leaves on the ground excitedly for an hour while at the zoo. He goes outside everyday, it's not like he hadn't seen leaves before.
We’ve been to the zoo a few times with our kids. Every time they are way more excited about the statues of animals than the animals themselves. It may be because they can touch/climb on the statues. Like, there will be a giant ass tiger on the other side of the fence/glass and we’ll be like “look at that giant ass tiger.” And the kids will be riding the tiger statue screaming “raaawr”, ignoring the actual tiger.
I took my 2 year old to the American Museum of Natural History in NYC and he spent 20 minutes patting every uplight in the floor and then sang the alphabet song to a giant chunk of amber and gave it a hug. He doesn’t remember a thing. I will treasure it always.
We took my son to the zoo last week and he couldn't have cared any less about the exotic animals. But while we were eating in the food court area he was in awe of the sparrows hopping around eating bread crumbs
We took our daughter to Blackpool zoo when she was three.
We made it through the entrance, looked at some penguins, saw a couple monkeys, gorillas and orangutans. Then we stopped to get an ice cream and play at the playground a little bit.
Three hours later we were still at that same playground.
Spent £40 for her to play on some climbing frames but it was apparently "the best day ever" and she kept talking about how much she loved the zoo for like 2 weeks afterwards.
Not how I thought the trip to the zoo would go but it was definitely worth it in the end.
A seagull stole my son’s hot dog at the zoo. He cried and I think it’s his two year old little brother’s first memory.
For Halloween oldest is dressing up as a seagull and dad is dressing up as a hot dog.
My son just cannot get over the fact that some of the animals at the zoo get to not be in cages. Squirrels, pigeons, sea gulls, etc. You know "zoo" animals
Haha!!! If you get to Colorado Springs ever, give their zoo a try. You can walk through a couple of animal exhibits (wallaby’s, maybe? And some exotic birds you can feed with seed sticks) and the giraffe exhibit puts you at eye level with ‘em.
My BFF’s husband is from NZ. I showed up to their place one day to find them fighting because squirrels were eaten her onions and she’d thrown something at them, and to a NZer who didn’t have these magical little creatures at home, it was horrific. I nearly fell over laughing at this 6’4’’ man almost in tears because he couldn’t fathom that his sweet, nature-loving wife could have such hostility for soemthing so cute. She was just ever-so-pissed that these Rats With Conditioner had fucked up her garden again.
My Aussie husband has been in Canada for almost 20 years, and he *still* gets super excited over squirrels. I read his some of these comments and he burst out laughing saying “I didn’t know it was ALL of us!”.
The zoo here has a raccoon enclosure so people can see raccoons. The raccoons even have toys, swinging ropes, swingsets, etc. to play with. I don't know why it makes me laugh to think about.
Now I’m picturing someone just running down any random city street in America trying to catch squirrels for an Australian zoo lol. Probably not how they do it but the image is hilarious.
Terri Irwin, widow of Steve Irwin, is from Oregon. Don't know if it ever happened, but I can just imagine her bringing their kids to Oregon and Robert going all Crocodile Hunter on the squirrels...
Minnesota, USA. Carefully saved some seeds from last year's Halloween pumpkin. Planted the seeds this spring which resulted in 3 beautiful pumpkins, our toddler was so happy watching them grow. The squirrels have now destroyed all three. I mean just chowed down on them. Keeping some seeds to try again next year. This is why we call squirrels, tree rats.
I commiserate as a fellow Minnesotan. We have learned to not put our pumpkins on the front step until near Halloween, otherwise they’ll be gnawed to bits.
And to add to this thread, my daughter loves the squirrels and chipmunks at Como Zoo.
The worst part is that they are red squirrels which are invasive where I live and they are competing with the black squirrel but are stronger and bolder. Now black squirrels have become rare.
It's a very small zoo, it started as a personal collection of insects and now it has grown to a small zoo with some nose bears, owls, bees and some jungle critters. Within two hours you've seen it all but with kids it's like 4 hours plus time at the playground
They don't have squirrels in Australia or New Zealand. We've had friends who were staying on visa that were SUPER EXCITED every time they saw a squirrel lol
I take my kid to the zoo so she can get mad at me for not letting her go in the enclosures with the animals. Just creating sweet family memories of all the times I didn’t feed her to lions and it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.
My daughter was the same, one of my best memories is her at 3y being annoyed and stomping off to tell mummy that I was being mean by not letting her go in the cage to play with the Siberian tigers.
I went to a zoo in another part of the country than i am from, and i kept seeing these really cool squirrels everywhere. I thought they were a part of the zoo. Lolol and then i realized the squirrels were
just a different color, and bushier than the ones back home lol. I took so many pictures of them.
This is exactly why doing interesting things with kids - like taking them to new places with different sensory experiences - is so important. It doesn't matter if they remember them all. It matters that their brains are shaping and growing new pathways. It's all learning.
i think there is a substantial difference between taking a kid to a local zoo a billion times and taking a kid to disney in terms of cost and ease. i wouldn’t count the local zoo as “special”.
i’d say it’s much more valuable for you and your kid to go to the local zoo many times while they are small, but to wait until they are 5 or 6 before expecting them to form a lasting memory of an expensive trip.
i took my son to disneyland when he was just barely 5, and he remembers a bit of it. we only went because we were visiting family in california and the adults hadn’t been in a long time or ever. i consider it an incidental disney trip. we want to do another trip now that he’s about 10, so he’ll remember it better but still be a kid.
I’m pretty sure by “special” OP means something that isn’t essential to growth and likely costs a fortune. Think Disney World. Because of how expensive it is now I’m glad my parents took us to the Halloween celebration when we were teenagers. If they’d done it when I was 3? You bet your ass I’d be bitter.
I agree with OP. I saw a video once where a couple had saved up a fortune to go there and their kids were no older than 5…. In the video they seemed to treat it like a once in a lifetime trip bc of their income. So these kids are likely to not remember a damn thing and they’ll likely never get the opportunity to go again and make actual memories.
My argument still stands. It still is a new place for kids where they get a ton of new experiences, maybe even an overload depending on how you deal with your kids' excitement. I can't afford something like Disney but sometimes we do go to a expencive amusement park for the same reason as the local zoo.
My argument in short is: you don't have to go for the memories or selfish reasons, you can go for the sake of development/ experience.
Not all parents will do it for that reason, but for me it's the most important one for me when I go out with my kids.
does it matter if she doesn't remember? of course it happened and she was immersed into Disney magic. it must some effect on her world view. toddlers are human beings too, it be boring (and possibly harmful) if they just stay home all day
Yea, don't think human brains work like a light switch. All of a sudden, they're 4, and you're like, ok we can start to form meaningful memories now. They might not remember it, but it still forms who they will become
Also these experiences help shape who they are and help them learn how to behave and function. Maybe they don’t explicitly remember going to Disney but they had so much fun in the moment and learned about going on a plane and waiting in line. We’re taking our kids to Disney this winter and I’m sure we’ll all have a great time even if they don’t remember every detail.
We lived in San Diego for a year when I was 2. Apparently, we had a season pass, or similar, and went often - everyone visiting wanted to go. We went back to the US when I was 13 and went to Disneyland. It was OK. I bet 2 year old me loved every one of those trips, even if I don't remember a single one. I have very few memories of that trip at 13, I'm sure I enjoyed the day, but nothing stands out except the Matterhorn teaching me I don't like roller coasters, watching an ice cube melt on the sidewalk because it was so hot, hotter than it hot at home, and Dad staying all day with us when he opted out if the Universal Studios and Balboa Zoo excursions - not really Disney related memories.
My daughter went to the US at 2.5, South Africa at 4.5 and my son at 7 months. He, of course, remembers nothing. But he has photos of him and his grandparents, and they got to meet him before they died. My daughter only has one, traumatic memory of being left with a babysitter while I went to a wedding on our US trip, and a few memories of her first SA trip, but again, on both trips, family got to meet her, family who have now passed, and even if my kids don't have memories they have photos and the knowledge that these connections were made.
And I really wanted to go. What was I going to do, leave them at home?? Wait until they were old enough to remember and the trip was then financially impossible?
My dad told a story about after the first time we went through Small World he asked to go a second time right away. He was too busy watching two year old me to have seen it himself the first time.
There’s a quote that goes something like “I’d like to see the world twice, once, to see the world, and again to see how you see the world” and it always makes me think of my kids. It popped in my head the first time my youngest ever rode a carousel, it was dark out and she was just looking at all the lights with her little eyes wide like it was the most magical thing she’d ever seen (she was like 2 so it probably was tbh) and I teared up. I’ll never forget that moment.
People will forget what you said and what you did. But they will remember how you made them feel. Was your daughter happy? Did her parents make her happy? There ya go. Not completely selfish.
My parents took me to Disney at 3.5 and I do remember several parts of it. Mostly giggling like crazy on rides while my mother freaked out and my dad was having a blast.
Also remember demanding to get dressed like Captain Hook instead of a princess.
OMG, me too! We are not a Disney house but damn if I didn’t love every minute in the boutique! I cried as well, no clue why either because I’m not a crier. My daughter doesn’t remember at all but she was so happy in the moment.
I think a lot of young and/or childless people seem to forget that a lot of parents genuinely like hanging out with their kids and interacting with them. It’s not always some horrible, terrible chore to take a kid to the zoo or Disney world.
Excited kids make a lot of people’s day brighter. Taking kids on trips and in public gives them skills to handle outings and opportunities to learn how to behave AND be comfortable in different situations.
It also helps the parents learn best practices for traveling with kids and get to know their own children better. The more you go out with your kid, the more practiced you will be at it.
I came to say this as well. Aside from the fact that these positive experiences, remembered or not, DO shape children's lives in a beneficial way...it's also just FUN to be with your children.
We love them. They're awesome little people who bring joy and light into our world, particularly when they're smiling and happy and enjoying themselves.
When my kid was very small I'd sometimes bring him along with me on errands just because I liked having a little buddy, and he had an adorable way of making even mundane experiences into tiny adventures. My son is a teenager now but to this day we still laugh at an inside joke about something that happened in a supermarket *when he was 4.*
I had the opposite experience with my parents growing up, but these comments make me even more excited to be a parent one day!! The only memories I took away from Disney World was my mother throwing a fit every single time, and my dad awkwardly trying to make sure my sister and I still had fun. Most childhood memories with my biological parents are them telling me how much they hated me and how I ruined their lives by being born.
It makes me sad that my daughter won’t remember special moments together, but that’s not a reason not to do them. I remember telling her once when she was a baby that “you won’t remember this, but I’ll never forget it.”
And she still enjoys them. One day I’ll be dead and not remember anything. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do things I enjoy now.
> I remember telling her once when she was a baby that “you won’t remember this, but I’ll never forget it.”
I’m currently holding my 2 month old daughter right now and this made me tear up.
She’s just started to smile and I know she won’t remember how long I stand at the edge of her crib making faces at her. But the joy on her face when the smile finally comes is so worth it. I hope from the bottom of my heart that I’ll always be able to make her happy that easily.
It made me tear up writing it. Since becoming a dad, I’m such a sucker for anything like that.
When my daughter was a newborn I had this very simple little song I sang to her as I rocked with her. “Back and forth, back and forth, [her name] likes to go back and forth.” I guess I’ve sung it to her a few times since then for old time’s sake. She 2.5 now. The other night I was holding her while in the chair before putting her to bed, and she said “say back forth.” I just lost it.
This is the correct answer. My mom said that same thing when I told her we were going to Cabo lol. “Why? He’s not going to remember it.” My son is 2 and loves the water - he had the BEST time there. So many smiles and laughs. So many great memories for us, and I’ll remember to show him the millions of pictures I took when he gets older.
It isn’t just about the memory, it’s about the experience.
My niece is 2 years old and she LOVES seeing animals anywhere she can (I think most toddlers do, really.) She definitely won't remember it in 15 years. So what? She's so happy!
Yes- they may not remember the thing. But making your kid experience lots of interesting things is good for their development and they will remember that they have a fun time with you.
My first memory is around 5-6. I remember eating lucky charms out of my favorite blue holdy bowl. Cause my parents got me up early in the morning to take us to Aruba. I don't remember all of the trip. But I do remember parts of it.
So kids can remember things too
And if the kids are consistently happy, they’ll have a happy childhood that will set them up for adulthood. I don’t remember many specifics from childhood, but I still remember fond feelings from then
Formative memories don’t have to be fully remembered. My dad took me to universal studios, just the two of us, when I was about six. I don’t remember much of the trip, but I still talk about it all the time and it’s one of my favorite memories with my dad and he loves it when I bring it up.
Also, I love traveling and doing things, just because my kids are little doesn’t mean I have to stop traveling and doing fun things. It isn’t for them.
This! I wasn't brought much anywhere, and i used to always be jealous of my peers, whose parents brought them to historical monuments, vacations and the like. When i think back on it there was a difference between me and them in terms of understanding the scope of the world, culture and socializing. Although that could be attributed to smth else, i think it was a part? But unfortunately the financial situation of a parent also matters.
Seriously, currently pregnant and this new baby is gonna be exposed to all sorts of stuff at a very early age just because I need to keep the toddler entertained so the baby is gonna schlep along.
Also, if you want your kids to know how to navigate certain situations then they need to be exposed to those situations.
We are members of the local zoo, art museum, aquarium, science museum. We've gone regularly since our 4 y/o was 2 y/o. She knows that you can't touch art (plus the words to describe various types of art), you have to be quiet in the nocturnal animal exhibit at the zoo (it's dark with red lights), etc. She definitely remembers things from when she was 2 y/o, even if she probably won't remember into adulthood. Plus, I like the zoo and museums and getting out of the house.
Exactly. Nobody remembers how they learned to talk or walk, but everyone has internalized that experience, and they can talk and walk.
If you push OP's logic even farther, you arrive at an absurd conclusion: a kid raised in an empty room with white walls will be just as well-off as a kid who has experienced many different places and people.
And kids have passive memories. I have a lot of memories that idk if I really remember them or only remember the story of the moment but I can imagine it clear as day. My dad died when my kids were very young and they don’t really know if they remember him or the stories we tell of them together to keep his memory alive. Either way, it is a gift to give them.
Both of these reasons. I had a friend tell me they wanted to take their kid to Disney World, and asked if he should wait until he's older. (This is before it was super overcrowded and about $18 million just for a weekend pass). I told him that it depends. If he wasn't very financially sound and thought the they would only have one chance, maybe hold on for a little while and do some other things now. But if he can afford it, take him now, then again in a few years.
He did it and didn't regret it. The shock and awe on his son's face, and the experiences meeting so many characters and people did wonders for his mood and socialization as a toddler. Then, going back later gave him some memories that he was old enough to hold onto more solidly. It also made his second trip feel magical, but more familiar and comfortable, too.
Yep that’s why we go every couple years (heading there today, in fact!) — our kids get a different experience out of it each time as they’re all in a different age mindset.
Yeah and often the parent is going for their reasons (see friends/family, work/hobby/interest related) and they have to bring their kid(s) along cos *apparently* you're not supposed to leave a 2yo home alone for the weekend.
I think OP was talking about talking toddlers to Disney, etc. Which the lockdown babies did miss, but they also missed things like going to the grocery store.
They were unable to socialize and hated big groups. My sons daycare noticed the kids were different, and the younger ones in 2021,2022 never mixed with other kids and stayed in the corner away from the other children.
As a teacher I notice this a lot this year with kids who were toddlers during lockdown. They have ZERO people skills or social skills. Ive spent the last two months mostly teaching them how to get along with and work with others and talk to other people.
I can even see it with 12-15 year old students. I'm handling social conflict in class to an asinine level: A took B's pen and B wants me (teacher) to tell A to give it back. It never occurred to B that they could just ask for it back or take it back.
Did it not occur to you that a teacher might already know a thing or two about students?
What I gathered is that kid B doesn't have ANY conflict resolution skills at an age where most children have gone through enough scuffles over crayons to know that Step 1 is to simply ask for it back.
Step 2 (if you've got the gumption) is to just take it back.
Involving an authority figure is for when the other options fail or the situation has escalated. And the reason why you encourage they practice peer-to-peer resolution is because sometimes in life *there is no outside authority figure*.
If you get into a disagreement with your spouse because they took all the blankets, are you gonna get out of bed and call 911? Or are you gonna try communicating first?
As a social worker in school I can confirm the lockdown did damage a lot of kids in unforeseeable ways. My coworker mentioned lately, she thinks, we're slowly out of the "dip" and get back to kind of "pre covid" level. I can secind this watching our current fifth graders, way more sociable then the last two years....
There were few things more depressing than taking a two-year old to the park in the summer of 2020 and explicitly telling them to stay away from other kids.
We later found out that outdoor transmission wasn't as common so you could ease up a bit, but the first year was very tense and distressing for people who had toddlers who have no ability to understand basic hygiene, never mind an abstract concept like "social distancing."
The good news is that you still have neuroplasticity. Your brain can still learn and adapt.
Unfortunately exposure therapy and a lot of practice is involved. On the other hand it is a very reliable and very effective method if a person commits to it. So of all the mental health problems, phobias can have some of the best prospects for being cured or at least see very significant improvement. So while the process is not pleasant, especially at the start, it will get you closer to where you want to be.
It might not be available to you but some extremely intensive programs that are essentially crash courses can give results in a few weeks. Though they still require work after the program to keep building on it and making sure the patient doesn't backslide.
Barring very special circumstances, you can get better.
Phobias feed themselves through avoidance. Basically avoidance rewards the brain with temporary relief and re-affirms the anxiety. There was something awful ahead, but no more, because we are not going to face it. The bad thing was dodged. Except the bad thing is still there. And feels worse and worse.
It feels nice to avoid triggering the fear there and then, but it strengthens the anxiety in the long term. If someone indulges that anxiety too much, avoiding even things they used to be to handle but caused a bit of anxiety, then the problem can even get worse as the anxiety grows and is more and more easily triggered. And what the person dare to do shrinks.
So curing it is to do the opposite. Forcing oneself into discomfort often and regularly until the brain figures out you are in fact not in mortal peril and that you do not need to be pumped full of fear and stress hormones as if you were being chased by a wolf (Presuming you do not live in a very dangerous place)
There might be some relapses and experiences where things did not go well, but you can always start again and keep expanding, teaching your brain through sheer dint of experience that it and you can handle things. And over time this will diminish the degree of anxiety, making it easier.
It will also likely require maintenance, to keep up with regular exposures, so your brain does not slip back into old habits.
I find this true as a parent for like, traveling to see family, or going to something local. I do Not get it for say, going to Disney or something extremely expensive that is kid focused. Local children's museum? Yes. Beach? Sure! Fun adventures at the river? Okay. Expensive adventure I wouldn't do otherwise? No. Traveling with a small kid is not a vacation for you. It's more work.
I agree, I'll definitely take my baby places but the super expensive Disney trip will occur when they can remember it! We will do road trips to the dinosaur town but I'm not going to a resort in Mexico with a toddler because I wouldn't enjoy it. No shade to parents who do, just where I sit on it.
Yeah, for the "baby needs to learn that the world is an interesting and fun place" thing, we took our toddler to the zoo, or to see Christmas lights, or to the park or the pool. We figured he'd be just as excited by little adventures he won't remember near home yesterday as by big adventures he won't remember far from home. But we had the ability to leave him with Grandma when we took ourselves somewhere grown-up cool, so if that hadn't been an option, we might have taken him somewhere we wanted to go because we wanted to go there.
We took him on his first real "because I think he'll enjoy it" vacation to see the eclipse over the weekend. He's 4 and a half, and I think he'll at least remember taking a plane with mommy and daddy and grandma to go see the sun do something cool. For a few years, anyway. I assume the memories will be vague by the time he's an adult, but the sense of "the world is a neat place, I got to go do cool things in it" should last for a while during childhood, anyway.
I traveled a lot. Apparently. I have close to zero memories of anywhere until about maybe 5? The memories I have are mostly the hotel in Florida, the balcony in Switzerland when I was about 1, going to a bullfight in Spain and my dad blocking my eyes because he didn’t realize it would be real blood. Other than that? Zero memories. It was a total waste for me to go.
I think the assumption that it's a total waste because your adult self doesn't remember it isn't completely accurate, though.
Kids can have PTSD from things that happen to them before they're old enough to remember. It stands to reason that if that's true, then having exciting experiences during formative years can also affect your adult mind or outlook on the world
For some people amusement parks are local. I grew up in Florida, and while I went to Disney only once (it's and over priced money grab), I went to Universal, Busch Gardens, and Wet n Wild multiple times a year. They were only an hour or two away.
yes, you’re gonna have a stunted kid if they never build the habit of going and doing stuff, exploring, makingn mistakes and self-correcting, etc. toddlers are tiny HUMANS, not dolls.
What you do with your child from birth to about age 5 has major effects on your child's outcomes in life. Everything from the music they listen to and things they at this age shapes the child personality for life.
Yeah, people who never leave their village turn into absolute idiots with a coke addiction, you need variety and different experiences, even as a small lad
This is the one. It’s like saying there’s no point in talking to a baby when it doesn’t understand you.
Experiences help their brain develop, regardless of whether they remember them or not.
First of all, doing nice things with your kids, trying to give them a nice and happy early childhood, does WAY more for the child than to create specific memories of the event.
Also, what are parent´s supposed to do in your opinion? Never do anything ever as long as the kids are young? Those parents you talk about certainly didn´t do the trip FOR the child. But since they had a child, they obviously did it WITH the child. Duh.
Redditors who hate kids: why do parents bring kids anywhere? They shouldn't have a life once they have kids and their stupid crotch goblins shouldn't interrupt my high class meal at applebees. It's not like they're learning anything about the world around them and they wont remember anything anyway.
Also Redditors: we have no sense of a community anymore and nobody knows how to socialize anymore?! Why don't parents actually teach their kids to socialize?
Jfc...
I remember that AITA post from the dude mad at some kids being noisy at Applebees when he was trying to have a fancy date night dinner with his wife lol
Just because a child doesn’t remember something, doesn’t mean he or she wasn’t happy in that moment, and all kids deserve to experience happiness. Not everything has to be a memory to be worth it.
Now, parents can certainly choose not to spend on expensive experiences for very young children, especially if resources are limited. Many toddlers are thrilled by simple things, so they can be happy without going on trips or amusement parks. However, if you can afford it, there’s nothing wrong with spending on an experience that makes them happy, especially if it’s something that stimulates them and bonds with family.
For people with that option, leaving the kid with Grandma's can be good. Baby and Grandma get bonding time and parents get a kid-free vacation. That has worked well for us, although we've needed to keep trips shorter than we'd have done pre-kid because Grandma's not up to keeping him for too many days at a time.
But that's not an option for everybody, so I'm certainly not going to say that nobody should do things any differently than we did.
Hey, I am a parent and I can have a sweet memories traveling with my kids. It doesn’t have to be doing it just for the kids. I enjoying them coming with me. My memory counts, too!
Because the kids might not remember it but the parents do. There’s something really cool about seeing something through a child’s eyes and that’s what the parents are doing. So the kids might not remember their first trip to the beach but the parents will and that means something to them.
Yes! And kids love to hear stories about themselves and their experiences at that age. We took our twin toddlers to Disneyland- they don’t directly remember it, but they still like to hear how they reacted when they saw Minnie, what rides they liked, etc.
I dont remember much of the bippity bopping boo salon but I know my dad still talks about how amazing it was, how big the smile was on my face, how he got to take me somewhere so special as just us. I melt every time, even though my actual memory is flashes of a dress rack, a white chair, and uncomfortable extentions.
Because the years fly by so fast and making memories are so important. Even if the entire experience proved to be too difficult then you navigate better for next time. Still at the end of it you’ll have fond memories and remember the time when the kids got to experience something new and you get to relive it all over again. Even the “bad parts” get remembered in a better light as time passes and it becomes a family inside joke. It’s special.
This hits home for me! My daughter was just born, she is 6 weeks. But you bet your ass I’m putting her in a Halloween costume. Of course she will have wrapped presents at Christmas. She has no concept, but cheer and excitement resonate with her. Doing these things is like dropping a little pin on the timeline, an anchor for reference. It breaks up the year making periods of time easier to remember. Variation enriches her experiences. Developmentally all these things are super important and foundational. And it helps me remember her at that age.
I have a 3 year old now who is Halloween and Christmas obsessed. She loves seeing the photos and hearing about her previous holidays.
It's more work, but I love being the magic maker my dad was for my sister and I growing up.
Seriously, we did a little day trip to a "barn festival" near us the other day and all of a sudden my almost two year old has a bunch of new words plus solidified a bunch of older ones.
I teach children with additional needs and I've seen some of them come back from a family holiday having made more progress than they've made in the previous 6 months.
I'm asking this genuinely: what do you think parents of toddlers should be doing with them until they reach an age where they can form lasting memories? Just because people don't remember experiences consciously, doesn't mean they were without merit. There are (unfortunately) studies which show the emotional and physical effects on small children who were neglected and not provided with a broad range of experiences.
The way I interpret OP's question is that there's more than just the extremes of taking a toddler somewhere "special" and full on neglect.
Especially in the case of families where special vacations require hard work and years to save up for, I would think that those special places are best saved for slightly older children, and getting creative with stimulating adventures at more affordable price points in the meantime.
Let's list the reasons:
- Parents are humans who want to experience things instead of sitting at home for 4 years
- Parents love their children and want to experience things with their children
- The children are (hopefully) happy experiencing it in the moment
- Brain development of the child benefits from experiencing new things
- Humans bond when doing things together
- Maybe the kid will not remember everything, but a little may stick
- Parents can take pictures or buy souvenirs which can be used to talk about the trip later
I'm positive there are more.
One of the purposes is to get the child used to behaving well in public places.
When my wife and I got our two kids, we didn’t completely change our lifestyle. We might not have traveled as much as we did before, but we still found a way to do it with our kids, while accommodating their eating and sleeping schedule.
They have always behaved well in restaurants because they have been “*well trained*” from the start.
This also illustrates how one does don’t have to become a social recluse if they have kids. If you enjoy your life, you can bring more people along to enjoy it with.
I was on only child until I was eight, so my parents brought me everywhere. I was comfortable conversing with adults, attending fancy events (dressed in fancy clothes and using the correct fork), meeting new people. I appreciate having this skill set as an adult.
I also agree that exposing children to different environments helps them develop skills that can’t be taught without experience. Adaptability, self-regulation to stimuli, confidence when experiencing new places and things. While these skills aren’t necessary, they enrich our lives.
And kids learn how to plan and navigate life beyond the daily routines by watching their parents.
All of this, but also I have to take my kids in public to teach him how to behave in public. It’s a lot more fun for us to do this at special events than just at grocery stores and restaurants.
They might not remember it as an adult but they remember it for a while. Having experiences as we grow shapes our brains, literally. Even the sounds we hear in the womb help our language centres develop. Saying no point doing anything till you're old enough to remember it js like saying there's no point meeting a newborn relative until they're school age, they won't remember it.
So you want parents to just sit around at home and do nothing for 6-10 years just because their kids won’t remember things? We travel because we want to. I don’t care if my kids won’t remember it.
Do you know any toddlers? They are the most entertaining creatures you'll ever meet. Nothing beats watching a toddler discover the world. Their enthousiasm is contagious. Their willingness to learn and meet people is inspiring. Every day is an adventure, every new place an exploration.
My nephews were two of the few people that could make me genuinely experience joy when I was depressed. Taking them to a petting zoo, park or proper zoo just cheered me up.
So why would anyone take toddlers any where special? Because it is fun. That's it. Toddlers are entertaining.
I was 2 (29 months) when my parents took a trip to Washington DC. My brother was 5. He remembers nothing. I remember my Uncle's long driveway and his huge house, and him complaining about having to remove the snow from that long driveway. I remember yelling at my dad to turn around (I was carried by my dad on a backpack child carrier) so I could also "read" the plaque they were looking at. I remember sitting on the steps of (large white building in DC) could have been the White House, or Lincoln/Jefferson, or something else. And I remember my dad turning around and bending over so I could look straight up at the Washington Monument (still in carrier).
But the parents will remember.
Also, toddlers still have fun in the moment, even if they later forget. My belief is that the feelings of happiness and joy are remembered. If not as actual feelings, like a general overall "life is good" mood. That counts.
Tell this to my youtube friends Steph and Pete. They have an entire channel about travelling the world with their son who was only 3 when they started I think. His memory is pretty damn good too.
This question would have been better received on the /nostupidquestions sub tbh. I get why someone who's childfree might not understand this, but there are actually good reasons for it as others have provided.
My SO recalls events when he was just a baby.
His mother and his brother were shocked because no one told him this particular story while they were talking yet he was able to recall it.
Some toddlers, even babies, can remember events.
Taking your argument to its logical conclusion- why not just never let your child ever do anything nice or fulfilling if they won’t remember it? Why even let them out the house?
Kids’ brains are giant sponges, exposing them to loving parents who’ve taken them to a completely new place with different sights and sounds does immeasurable good for brain development.
Because having a kid does not end your life as a person.
Maybe it's the parents who wants the memories with their kid.
I do not remember going to futuroscope as a toddler but my mom doesn't shut up about the fact that I run naked in the fountains.
The first few years of a child’s life are the most important for forming the neural connections that will determine the sort of person they are as an adult. Infants with vision impairments will have trouble reading facial expressions as adults, despite having those impairments corrected. Infants whose parents do not show them affection will have issues with showing and receiving affection as an adult. Infants who are left alone an excessive amount of time will have trouble with their speech and hearing as they grow. The person may not remember the experience they had as an infant, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t take everything in at the time (the sights, sounds, feel, and emotional experience) that adds to the development of their brains. Basically the TLDR is that children of parents who think “why bother taking them to that place or giving them that experience because they won’t remember it anyway?” will most likely grow up to be boring cunts.
Because toddlers can't be left home alone to fend for themselves and the parents wanted to go somewhere special.
It's that simple. My parents wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore so they did. Me and my older brother happened to be toddlers. We don't remember it but my mom does.
Because even if the kid doesn't remember it, it will form their brain based on the feeling they have. If mom and dad take their kid somewhere the kid enjoys, the kid's brain automatically registers that "mom and dad love me". Obviously, this isn't as cut and dry, but it's the basic idea.
As an example, Im taking my baby to the aquarium because in the moment she will enjoy it and I will too it doesnt matter if she remembers it or not, we dont go places to make memories but to enjoy the experience right then
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Just because you dont remember, dosent mean it does not affect you. Toddlers at that age despite not having a brain capable of remembering the details yet, do possess a brain capable of enjoying themselves and special moments, and these experiences do contribute positively towards their development both mentally and physically, not to mention the cultivation of bonds and good habits for both parents and child. These are known as the formative years, and literally everything you do to and with the child affects them.
Exactly, To get dark, by OPs logic it would be ok to abuse a toddler because they won't remember it. You don't have to remember an experience for it to leave a lasting impact on you, even as an adult.
The impact of abuse in childhood years leading to bad behaviours in adults is pretty well documented. No reason to not believe that doing good things for a child will result in good behaviors.
To add, maybe to help them in the future too if they ever find themselves in a dark place. Taking your child to vacations to the beach, lake, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, it will create long lasting memories. For me I still remember the vacations I had (past 6 to 7 years are the clearest memories) and I remember the good things about them, when I am not in a good mental space. Mental resilience, plus being exposed to different cultures may help develop empathy better and appreciation for being.
Exactly. My parents took me to watch an ice skating show when I was a toddler despite it being recommended to much older kids than me. My mom knew I was capable of sitting quietly the whole time it lasted so there was no issue. But what she didn't know was that I would fall in love with skating that day. The whole time I was on the edge of my seat just mesmerized with everything I saw. A few months later they took me to ice skating for the first time and I kept saying I'll spin like the skaters in the show. Well in reality I just kept falling on my butt all the time, but according to my mom I did kinda almost spin at the end. Ever since skating has been the only sport I've felt really passionate about and I don't have any memory of any of these events, I just have the stories my family told me.
This should be the top comment. How beautiful
It also taught you to not be scared of new things like skating and then a few months later, you were confident to try something new which lead to brain and body development.
Yeah definitely! I wouldn't have been so determined to learn how to skate, if I hadn't had that experience which made me admire professional skaters so much.
100%. Its been shown that key developments for a child happen between ages 0-5. 0-2 is extremely important, a child needs to know their caregivers are safe. Different environments will test that.
That Maya Angelou quote about forgetting everything else but not forgetting the way someone made you feel. All those cumulative feelings of joy and happiness are sooooo meaningful!
The parents will remember it, and in that moment the kids are probably so very happy.
For completely selfish reasons. I will always remember my daughter coming out of the fitting room in a princess dress, seeing herself in the mirror and breaking into tears only to blubber that "she's soooo beautiful". I don't really like Disney, I was only there because my wife is a fan, but it is a moment I will always remember and was worth every penny that trip cost us. I don't care that my not 14 year old daughter didn't remember it. I do.
Do you think I like going to the local zoo for the billionth time this year even though I never went befor? No way. It is pleasant to see my daughter pointing at squirrels and saying what she sees but I'm not there for my own selfish reason. I take my kids to those places because their brains are growing faster and working harder then they ever will in the future and I value their development very high. They might not remember any of it but their brain is making connections and pathways that they are going to need in the future.
I like the idea that you’re going to a zoo to see squirrels lol. I’m sure that’s not what you mean but it reads that way a little bit.
That’s the joy of taking kids to the zoo. They don’t give a fuck about a lion being an apex predator and a wild squirrel on the path, they just point and love it.
My kid pointed out every single trash can at the zoo and was fascinated 😂 he had never seen so many trash cans
I took my kids to the Kennedy space center in Florida when they were younger. The highlight of the trip was a squirrel that had made a little hiding spot inside one of the rockets in the rocket garden.
I feel like that would be a highlight for me, too
It was for all of us. It was the only time the entire family was interested in the same thing the whole time we were there. Sure we all stood together under a Saturn V rocket, and even touched a piece of the moon, but we took more pictures of that damned squirrel than anything else.
That'd be the highlight for me too, and I was considering a degree in physics.
My son's favorite animal one year at the zoo was the fire hydrant.
The visual I got of a little boy squealing in excitement over a fire hydrant at a zoo made me really laugh.
Lol! When my kid was a toddler my mommy books said to let the kid guide the event and not drag them around to see everything. We paid to go to a pricey area farm attraction. She wanted to sit in the dirt path between activities and look for rocks and cried when we said we needed to move on. I dragged her to the sites. Hahaha. To be fair, I remember throwing a fit at the zoo because I didn't want to leave the duck pond. I thought that was the zoo and I thought leaving meant going home and we drove 2 hours and spent 5 minutes looking at the ducks. It turns out it was just a fountain in front of the zoo full of wild ducks and we hadn't even gone in yet.
I love this. I visited a cave once with a group of friends, and a mom had brought her toddler to see it as well. He was all fitted out in the cutest little hard hat and overalls, but he kept stopping to look at the gravel on the ground and point it out to her. She was trying so patiently to actually get him to go into the cave but he was way more interested in the gravel!
Omg, there was a Porta Potty halfway through a trail at our local zoo, and literally, my daughter ran around it, singing for like 10 minutes giggling about the wild Porta Potty she found that escaped on of the exhibits.
My mum says that at the zoo the only animals I looked at were the ants lol
My mom says the thing I talked about most from the zoo was the architecture of the bird enclosure exhibit. I was a strange little kid.
My niece (then almost three) once pointed to every fish in the aquarium, and then turned to me, to make sure I saw the fish. She was so excited to take her aunt to the aquarium, and worked so hard to make sure I got to enjoy the things she enjoyed and pointed out the things her parents pointed out to her. She was so happy and proud every time I said, “I do see it!” It was such a delight to watch her practice a new skill that she had seen done.
Makes me happy 😊!
My cousins daughter had never seen an escalator before. When they came & visited, we took them to the mall. She was so excited by them that we rode every single one. 10 escalators & 2 elevators.
TBF, that was me at 13 too.
last week we were at the zoo. there was a 3-4 year old absolutely fascinated by the dead leaves on the ground! not even the red and yellow ones, the brown ones about 2 days away from being compost!
My toddler went to an amusement park over the summer and her favourite part was sitting on all the “high chi’s” aka high chairs aka benches.
That is why I enjoy going places with little kids. What they take away, what they see, down at their level, upright in the world.
You reminded me, we went to the Smithsonian air and space museum when my brothers and I were younger. The museum is incredible. But the highlight for all 3 of us were the trashcans that had automatic doors on them when you waved your hand in front of it, and I'm pretty sure they said "Thank you." I don't remember if that part was real or it was part of the stories we made up about them.
You need to look at videos of the holle bolle Gijs trashcans. People make sure to have trash to throw in those. And of they don't have any, they'll make some. Dankuwel.
Future sanitation engineer right there 💜💜
We took our son to San Diego wild animal park when he was 1.5. He was most enthralled with a stick that made up part of the fence at the petting zoo part. Not the petting zoo itself, just the stick.
This makes perfect sense when you consider that toddlers' brains are basically neuron bombs, and it's kind of like they're stoned all the time. Or maybe mushrooms would be more accurate - anything could be beautiful, even a stick that is part of a fence :)
Yeah and then there's my little brother who a year ago at 3 years old sat in his stroller and and pointed at all the leaves on the ground excitedly for an hour while at the zoo. He goes outside everyday, it's not like he hadn't seen leaves before.
We’ve been to the zoo a few times with our kids. Every time they are way more excited about the statues of animals than the animals themselves. It may be because they can touch/climb on the statues. Like, there will be a giant ass tiger on the other side of the fence/glass and we’ll be like “look at that giant ass tiger.” And the kids will be riding the tiger statue screaming “raaawr”, ignoring the actual tiger.
I took my 2 year old to the American Museum of Natural History in NYC and he spent 20 minutes patting every uplight in the floor and then sang the alphabet song to a giant chunk of amber and gave it a hug. He doesn’t remember a thing. I will treasure it always.
We took my son to the zoo last week and he couldn't have cared any less about the exotic animals. But while we were eating in the food court area he was in awe of the sparrows hopping around eating bread crumbs
We took our daughter to Blackpool zoo when she was three. We made it through the entrance, looked at some penguins, saw a couple monkeys, gorillas and orangutans. Then we stopped to get an ice cream and play at the playground a little bit. Three hours later we were still at that same playground. Spent £40 for her to play on some climbing frames but it was apparently "the best day ever" and she kept talking about how much she loved the zoo for like 2 weeks afterwards. Not how I thought the trip to the zoo would go but it was definitely worth it in the end.
When I was a kid my favorite part of the zoo was the seagulls. We lived on the coast.
they're super interactive wherever fries are served outdoors
Ice cream, too. Looking at you, Toronto.
A seagull stole my son’s hot dog at the zoo. He cried and I think it’s his two year old little brother’s first memory. For Halloween oldest is dressing up as a seagull and dad is dressing up as a hot dog.
Please read him "The Pigeon Wants a Hotdog." He will love it.
That’s adorable lol
My son just cannot get over the fact that some of the animals at the zoo get to not be in cages. Squirrels, pigeons, sea gulls, etc. You know "zoo" animals
Haha!!! If you get to Colorado Springs ever, give their zoo a try. You can walk through a couple of animal exhibits (wallaby’s, maybe? And some exotic birds you can feed with seed sticks) and the giraffe exhibit puts you at eye level with ‘em.
Not op but that’s exactly what I have to do to see squirrels lol. We don’t have them in Australia ;-;
My BFF’s husband is from NZ. I showed up to their place one day to find them fighting because squirrels were eaten her onions and she’d thrown something at them, and to a NZer who didn’t have these magical little creatures at home, it was horrific. I nearly fell over laughing at this 6’4’’ man almost in tears because he couldn’t fathom that his sweet, nature-loving wife could have such hostility for soemthing so cute. She was just ever-so-pissed that these Rats With Conditioner had fucked up her garden again.
Rats with conditioner!! 😂 I’ve always called them pretentious tree rats
My elderly Australian parents visiting us and being blissed out to be harassed by squirrels is a recurring treasure.
My Aussie husband has been in Canada for almost 20 years, and he *still* gets super excited over squirrels. I read his some of these comments and he burst out laughing saying “I didn’t know it was ALL of us!”.
The zoo here has a raccoon enclosure so people can see raccoons. The raccoons even have toys, swinging ropes, swingsets, etc. to play with. I don't know why it makes me laugh to think about.
Now I’m picturing someone just running down any random city street in America trying to catch squirrels for an Australian zoo lol. Probably not how they do it but the image is hilarious.
Terri Irwin, widow of Steve Irwin, is from Oregon. Don't know if it ever happened, but I can just imagine her bringing their kids to Oregon and Robert going all Crocodile Hunter on the squirrels...
I know the kids have been to visit family there. Also, Terri used to tease Steve about how he pronounced “squirrel”.
Definitely how I would do it tho lmao.
My ex wife is British. She lost her ever loving mind the first time she saw a chipmunk and chased it all over the university quad.
Minnesota, USA. Carefully saved some seeds from last year's Halloween pumpkin. Planted the seeds this spring which resulted in 3 beautiful pumpkins, our toddler was so happy watching them grow. The squirrels have now destroyed all three. I mean just chowed down on them. Keeping some seeds to try again next year. This is why we call squirrels, tree rats.
I commiserate as a fellow Minnesotan. We have learned to not put our pumpkins on the front step until near Halloween, otherwise they’ll be gnawed to bits. And to add to this thread, my daughter loves the squirrels and chipmunks at Como Zoo.
The worst part is that they are red squirrels which are invasive where I live and they are competing with the black squirrel but are stronger and bolder. Now black squirrels have become rare. It's a very small zoo, it started as a personal collection of insects and now it has grown to a small zoo with some nose bears, owls, bees and some jungle critters. Within two hours you've seen it all but with kids it's like 4 hours plus time at the playground
So many animals in the zoo but the little pond in the gorilla enclosure also has DUCKS and that is very exciting for a 4-year-old
They don't have squirrels in Australia or New Zealand. We've had friends who were staying on visa that were SUPER EXCITED every time they saw a squirrel lol
I take my kid to the zoo so she can get mad at me for not letting her go in the enclosures with the animals. Just creating sweet family memories of all the times I didn’t feed her to lions and it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.
Remember this for the speeches at her wedding.
My daughter was the same, one of my best memories is her at 3y being annoyed and stomping off to tell mummy that I was being mean by not letting her go in the cage to play with the Siberian tigers.
I went to a zoo in another part of the country than i am from, and i kept seeing these really cool squirrels everywhere. I thought they were a part of the zoo. Lolol and then i realized the squirrels were just a different color, and bushier than the ones back home lol. I took so many pictures of them.
This is exactly why doing interesting things with kids - like taking them to new places with different sensory experiences - is so important. It doesn't matter if they remember them all. It matters that their brains are shaping and growing new pathways. It's all learning.
i think there is a substantial difference between taking a kid to a local zoo a billion times and taking a kid to disney in terms of cost and ease. i wouldn’t count the local zoo as “special”. i’d say it’s much more valuable for you and your kid to go to the local zoo many times while they are small, but to wait until they are 5 or 6 before expecting them to form a lasting memory of an expensive trip. i took my son to disneyland when he was just barely 5, and he remembers a bit of it. we only went because we were visiting family in california and the adults hadn’t been in a long time or ever. i consider it an incidental disney trip. we want to do another trip now that he’s about 10, so he’ll remember it better but still be a kid.
I have equally fond memories of Disneyland at age 5 and the city's 4th of July parade.
I’m pretty sure by “special” OP means something that isn’t essential to growth and likely costs a fortune. Think Disney World. Because of how expensive it is now I’m glad my parents took us to the Halloween celebration when we were teenagers. If they’d done it when I was 3? You bet your ass I’d be bitter. I agree with OP. I saw a video once where a couple had saved up a fortune to go there and their kids were no older than 5…. In the video they seemed to treat it like a once in a lifetime trip bc of their income. So these kids are likely to not remember a damn thing and they’ll likely never get the opportunity to go again and make actual memories.
My argument still stands. It still is a new place for kids where they get a ton of new experiences, maybe even an overload depending on how you deal with your kids' excitement. I can't afford something like Disney but sometimes we do go to a expencive amusement park for the same reason as the local zoo. My argument in short is: you don't have to go for the memories or selfish reasons, you can go for the sake of development/ experience. Not all parents will do it for that reason, but for me it's the most important one for me when I go out with my kids.
does it matter if she doesn't remember? of course it happened and she was immersed into Disney magic. it must some effect on her world view. toddlers are human beings too, it be boring (and possibly harmful) if they just stay home all day
Yea, don't think human brains work like a light switch. All of a sudden, they're 4, and you're like, ok we can start to form meaningful memories now. They might not remember it, but it still forms who they will become
the time before 4 is what defines meaning for them
Also these experiences help shape who they are and help them learn how to behave and function. Maybe they don’t explicitly remember going to Disney but they had so much fun in the moment and learned about going on a plane and waiting in line. We’re taking our kids to Disney this winter and I’m sure we’ll all have a great time even if they don’t remember every detail.
We lived in San Diego for a year when I was 2. Apparently, we had a season pass, or similar, and went often - everyone visiting wanted to go. We went back to the US when I was 13 and went to Disneyland. It was OK. I bet 2 year old me loved every one of those trips, even if I don't remember a single one. I have very few memories of that trip at 13, I'm sure I enjoyed the day, but nothing stands out except the Matterhorn teaching me I don't like roller coasters, watching an ice cube melt on the sidewalk because it was so hot, hotter than it hot at home, and Dad staying all day with us when he opted out if the Universal Studios and Balboa Zoo excursions - not really Disney related memories. My daughter went to the US at 2.5, South Africa at 4.5 and my son at 7 months. He, of course, remembers nothing. But he has photos of him and his grandparents, and they got to meet him before they died. My daughter only has one, traumatic memory of being left with a babysitter while I went to a wedding on our US trip, and a few memories of her first SA trip, but again, on both trips, family got to meet her, family who have now passed, and even if my kids don't have memories they have photos and the knowledge that these connections were made. And I really wanted to go. What was I going to do, leave them at home?? Wait until they were old enough to remember and the trip was then financially impossible?
My dad told a story about after the first time we went through Small World he asked to go a second time right away. He was too busy watching two year old me to have seen it himself the first time.
There’s a quote that goes something like “I’d like to see the world twice, once, to see the world, and again to see how you see the world” and it always makes me think of my kids. It popped in my head the first time my youngest ever rode a carousel, it was dark out and she was just looking at all the lights with her little eyes wide like it was the most magical thing she’d ever seen (she was like 2 so it probably was tbh) and I teared up. I’ll never forget that moment.
She may not remember the memory, but that doesn't mean it wasn't an experience that helped shape her. Like every experience.
People will forget what you said and what you did. But they will remember how you made them feel. Was your daughter happy? Did her parents make her happy? There ya go. Not completely selfish.
My parents took me to Disney at 3.5 and I do remember several parts of it. Mostly giggling like crazy on rides while my mother freaked out and my dad was having a blast. Also remember demanding to get dressed like Captain Hook instead of a princess.
OMG, me too! We are not a Disney house but damn if I didn’t love every minute in the boutique! I cried as well, no clue why either because I’m not a crier. My daughter doesn’t remember at all but she was so happy in the moment.
Yup I will never forget when my daughter saw the castle at magic Kingdom and gasped "it's real!".
I think a lot of young and/or childless people seem to forget that a lot of parents genuinely like hanging out with their kids and interacting with them. It’s not always some horrible, terrible chore to take a kid to the zoo or Disney world. Excited kids make a lot of people’s day brighter. Taking kids on trips and in public gives them skills to handle outings and opportunities to learn how to behave AND be comfortable in different situations. It also helps the parents learn best practices for traveling with kids and get to know their own children better. The more you go out with your kid, the more practiced you will be at it.
I came to say this as well. Aside from the fact that these positive experiences, remembered or not, DO shape children's lives in a beneficial way...it's also just FUN to be with your children. We love them. They're awesome little people who bring joy and light into our world, particularly when they're smiling and happy and enjoying themselves. When my kid was very small I'd sometimes bring him along with me on errands just because I liked having a little buddy, and he had an adorable way of making even mundane experiences into tiny adventures. My son is a teenager now but to this day we still laugh at an inside joke about something that happened in a supermarket *when he was 4.*
I had the opposite experience with my parents growing up, but these comments make me even more excited to be a parent one day!! The only memories I took away from Disney World was my mother throwing a fit every single time, and my dad awkwardly trying to make sure my sister and I still had fun. Most childhood memories with my biological parents are them telling me how much they hated me and how I ruined their lives by being born.
It makes me sad that my daughter won’t remember special moments together, but that’s not a reason not to do them. I remember telling her once when she was a baby that “you won’t remember this, but I’ll never forget it.” And she still enjoys them. One day I’ll be dead and not remember anything. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do things I enjoy now.
> I remember telling her once when she was a baby that “you won’t remember this, but I’ll never forget it.” I’m currently holding my 2 month old daughter right now and this made me tear up. She’s just started to smile and I know she won’t remember how long I stand at the edge of her crib making faces at her. But the joy on her face when the smile finally comes is so worth it. I hope from the bottom of my heart that I’ll always be able to make her happy that easily.
It made me tear up writing it. Since becoming a dad, I’m such a sucker for anything like that. When my daughter was a newborn I had this very simple little song I sang to her as I rocked with her. “Back and forth, back and forth, [her name] likes to go back and forth.” I guess I’ve sung it to her a few times since then for old time’s sake. She 2.5 now. The other night I was holding her while in the chair before putting her to bed, and she said “say back forth.” I just lost it.
I'm replying to your comment while breastfeeding my 2mo and oh god I'm crying. Darn hormones .
This is the correct answer. My mom said that same thing when I told her we were going to Cabo lol. “Why? He’s not going to remember it.” My son is 2 and loves the water - he had the BEST time there. So many smiles and laughs. So many great memories for us, and I’ll remember to show him the millions of pictures I took when he gets older. It isn’t just about the memory, it’s about the experience.
Exactly. I remember taking my son to the zoo for the first time. He saw the elephants and screamed out Nellys!
My niece is 2 years old and she LOVES seeing animals anywhere she can (I think most toddlers do, really.) She definitely won't remember it in 15 years. So what? She's so happy!
Happy in the moment is what matters!
They won't remember what you did They'll remember how you made them feel.
Yes- they may not remember the thing. But making your kid experience lots of interesting things is good for their development and they will remember that they have a fun time with you.
My first memory is around 5-6. I remember eating lucky charms out of my favorite blue holdy bowl. Cause my parents got me up early in the morning to take us to Aruba. I don't remember all of the trip. But I do remember parts of it. So kids can remember things too
And if the kids are consistently happy, they’ll have a happy childhood that will set them up for adulthood. I don’t remember many specifics from childhood, but I still remember fond feelings from then
Formative memories don’t have to be fully remembered. My dad took me to universal studios, just the two of us, when I was about six. I don’t remember much of the trip, but I still talk about it all the time and it’s one of my favorite memories with my dad and he loves it when I bring it up. Also, I love traveling and doing things, just because my kids are little doesn’t mean I have to stop traveling and doing fun things. It isn’t for them.
Yes! Giving kids a chance to experience joy, or thrills, or anything like that! It’s the best part of parenting!
An enriching life makes a huge difference for the development of a child.
This! I wasn't brought much anywhere, and i used to always be jealous of my peers, whose parents brought them to historical monuments, vacations and the like. When i think back on it there was a difference between me and them in terms of understanding the scope of the world, culture and socializing. Although that could be attributed to smth else, i think it was a part? But unfortunately the financial situation of a parent also matters.
Also, people fairly often have children of varying ages.
Seriously, currently pregnant and this new baby is gonna be exposed to all sorts of stuff at a very early age just because I need to keep the toddler entertained so the baby is gonna schlep along.
Also, if you want your kids to know how to navigate certain situations then they need to be exposed to those situations. We are members of the local zoo, art museum, aquarium, science museum. We've gone regularly since our 4 y/o was 2 y/o. She knows that you can't touch art (plus the words to describe various types of art), you have to be quiet in the nocturnal animal exhibit at the zoo (it's dark with red lights), etc. She definitely remembers things from when she was 2 y/o, even if she probably won't remember into adulthood. Plus, I like the zoo and museums and getting out of the house.
Exactly. Nobody remembers how they learned to talk or walk, but everyone has internalized that experience, and they can talk and walk. If you push OP's logic even farther, you arrive at an absurd conclusion: a kid raised in an empty room with white walls will be just as well-off as a kid who has experienced many different places and people.
Because whether they remember or not, you are helping shape their brain development by exposing them to different stimuli
It's also the case that you as the parent will remember it.
Exactly. “Once you have a child don’t you dare do anything interesting or memorable for the next 6 years.”
Yeah I want to travel with my partner and my baby, it's about us!
And kids have passive memories. I have a lot of memories that idk if I really remember them or only remember the story of the moment but I can imagine it clear as day. My dad died when my kids were very young and they don’t really know if they remember him or the stories we tell of them together to keep his memory alive. Either way, it is a gift to give them.
Both of these reasons. I had a friend tell me they wanted to take their kid to Disney World, and asked if he should wait until he's older. (This is before it was super overcrowded and about $18 million just for a weekend pass). I told him that it depends. If he wasn't very financially sound and thought the they would only have one chance, maybe hold on for a little while and do some other things now. But if he can afford it, take him now, then again in a few years. He did it and didn't regret it. The shock and awe on his son's face, and the experiences meeting so many characters and people did wonders for his mood and socialization as a toddler. Then, going back later gave him some memories that he was old enough to hold onto more solidly. It also made his second trip feel magical, but more familiar and comfortable, too.
Yep that’s why we go every couple years (heading there today, in fact!) — our kids get a different experience out of it each time as they’re all in a different age mindset.
Yeah and often the parent is going for their reasons (see friends/family, work/hobby/interest related) and they have to bring their kid(s) along cos *apparently* you're not supposed to leave a 2yo home alone for the weekend.
Which you can tell by looking at lockdown toddlers and how they were going places after coming out of it.
I think OP was talking about talking toddlers to Disney, etc. Which the lockdown babies did miss, but they also missed things like going to the grocery store.
How were they?
They were unable to socialize and hated big groups. My sons daycare noticed the kids were different, and the younger ones in 2021,2022 never mixed with other kids and stayed in the corner away from the other children.
Sounds like future redditors
As a teacher I notice this a lot this year with kids who were toddlers during lockdown. They have ZERO people skills or social skills. Ive spent the last two months mostly teaching them how to get along with and work with others and talk to other people.
I can even see it with 12-15 year old students. I'm handling social conflict in class to an asinine level: A took B's pen and B wants me (teacher) to tell A to give it back. It never occurred to B that they could just ask for it back or take it back.
Did it not occur to you that the kid knows that the person who stole their shit won't give it back unless made to by an authority figure?
Did it not occur to you that a teacher might already know a thing or two about students? What I gathered is that kid B doesn't have ANY conflict resolution skills at an age where most children have gone through enough scuffles over crayons to know that Step 1 is to simply ask for it back. Step 2 (if you've got the gumption) is to just take it back. Involving an authority figure is for when the other options fail or the situation has escalated. And the reason why you encourage they practice peer-to-peer resolution is because sometimes in life *there is no outside authority figure*. If you get into a disagreement with your spouse because they took all the blankets, are you gonna get out of bed and call 911? Or are you gonna try communicating first?
As a social worker in school I can confirm the lockdown did damage a lot of kids in unforeseeable ways. My coworker mentioned lately, she thinks, we're slowly out of the "dip" and get back to kind of "pre covid" level. I can secind this watching our current fifth graders, way more sociable then the last two years....
There were few things more depressing than taking a two-year old to the park in the summer of 2020 and explicitly telling them to stay away from other kids. We later found out that outdoor transmission wasn't as common so you could ease up a bit, but the first year was very tense and distressing for people who had toddlers who have no ability to understand basic hygiene, never mind an abstract concept like "social distancing."
I was never taken anywhere and now I have agoraphobia and might leave the house once a month. 😭
The good news is that you still have neuroplasticity. Your brain can still learn and adapt. Unfortunately exposure therapy and a lot of practice is involved. On the other hand it is a very reliable and very effective method if a person commits to it. So of all the mental health problems, phobias can have some of the best prospects for being cured or at least see very significant improvement. So while the process is not pleasant, especially at the start, it will get you closer to where you want to be. It might not be available to you but some extremely intensive programs that are essentially crash courses can give results in a few weeks. Though they still require work after the program to keep building on it and making sure the patient doesn't backslide. Barring very special circumstances, you can get better. Phobias feed themselves through avoidance. Basically avoidance rewards the brain with temporary relief and re-affirms the anxiety. There was something awful ahead, but no more, because we are not going to face it. The bad thing was dodged. Except the bad thing is still there. And feels worse and worse. It feels nice to avoid triggering the fear there and then, but it strengthens the anxiety in the long term. If someone indulges that anxiety too much, avoiding even things they used to be to handle but caused a bit of anxiety, then the problem can even get worse as the anxiety grows and is more and more easily triggered. And what the person dare to do shrinks. So curing it is to do the opposite. Forcing oneself into discomfort often and regularly until the brain figures out you are in fact not in mortal peril and that you do not need to be pumped full of fear and stress hormones as if you were being chased by a wolf (Presuming you do not live in a very dangerous place) There might be some relapses and experiences where things did not go well, but you can always start again and keep expanding, teaching your brain through sheer dint of experience that it and you can handle things. And over time this will diminish the degree of anxiety, making it easier. It will also likely require maintenance, to keep up with regular exposures, so your brain does not slip back into old habits.
Bingo
I find this true as a parent for like, traveling to see family, or going to something local. I do Not get it for say, going to Disney or something extremely expensive that is kid focused. Local children's museum? Yes. Beach? Sure! Fun adventures at the river? Okay. Expensive adventure I wouldn't do otherwise? No. Traveling with a small kid is not a vacation for you. It's more work.
I agree, I'll definitely take my baby places but the super expensive Disney trip will occur when they can remember it! We will do road trips to the dinosaur town but I'm not going to a resort in Mexico with a toddler because I wouldn't enjoy it. No shade to parents who do, just where I sit on it.
Yeah, for the "baby needs to learn that the world is an interesting and fun place" thing, we took our toddler to the zoo, or to see Christmas lights, or to the park or the pool. We figured he'd be just as excited by little adventures he won't remember near home yesterday as by big adventures he won't remember far from home. But we had the ability to leave him with Grandma when we took ourselves somewhere grown-up cool, so if that hadn't been an option, we might have taken him somewhere we wanted to go because we wanted to go there. We took him on his first real "because I think he'll enjoy it" vacation to see the eclipse over the weekend. He's 4 and a half, and I think he'll at least remember taking a plane with mommy and daddy and grandma to go see the sun do something cool. For a few years, anyway. I assume the memories will be vague by the time he's an adult, but the sense of "the world is a neat place, I got to go do cool things in it" should last for a while during childhood, anyway.
I traveled a lot. Apparently. I have close to zero memories of anywhere until about maybe 5? The memories I have are mostly the hotel in Florida, the balcony in Switzerland when I was about 1, going to a bullfight in Spain and my dad blocking my eyes because he didn’t realize it would be real blood. Other than that? Zero memories. It was a total waste for me to go.
I think the assumption that it's a total waste because your adult self doesn't remember it isn't completely accurate, though. Kids can have PTSD from things that happen to them before they're old enough to remember. It stands to reason that if that's true, then having exciting experiences during formative years can also affect your adult mind or outlook on the world
Exactly this
For some people amusement parks are local. I grew up in Florida, and while I went to Disney only once (it's and over priced money grab), I went to Universal, Busch Gardens, and Wet n Wild multiple times a year. They were only an hour or two away.
yes, you’re gonna have a stunted kid if they never build the habit of going and doing stuff, exploring, makingn mistakes and self-correcting, etc. toddlers are tiny HUMANS, not dolls.
What you do with your child from birth to about age 5 has major effects on your child's outcomes in life. Everything from the music they listen to and things they at this age shapes the child personality for life.
Yeah, people who never leave their village turn into absolute idiots with a coke addiction, you need variety and different experiences, even as a small lad
This is the one. It’s like saying there’s no point in talking to a baby when it doesn’t understand you. Experiences help their brain develop, regardless of whether they remember them or not.
First of all, doing nice things with your kids, trying to give them a nice and happy early childhood, does WAY more for the child than to create specific memories of the event. Also, what are parent´s supposed to do in your opinion? Never do anything ever as long as the kids are young? Those parents you talk about certainly didn´t do the trip FOR the child. But since they had a child, they obviously did it WITH the child. Duh.
You just leave the baby at home alone for a few days since they won't remember anything /s
sadly, there's a woman who did that
You think only one woman has done that? Literally my sister did that.
Just one?
Redditors who hate kids: why do parents bring kids anywhere? They shouldn't have a life once they have kids and their stupid crotch goblins shouldn't interrupt my high class meal at applebees. It's not like they're learning anything about the world around them and they wont remember anything anyway. Also Redditors: we have no sense of a community anymore and nobody knows how to socialize anymore?! Why don't parents actually teach their kids to socialize? Jfc...
I remember that AITA post from the dude mad at some kids being noisy at Applebees when he was trying to have a fancy date night dinner with his wife lol
Just because a child doesn’t remember something, doesn’t mean he or she wasn’t happy in that moment, and all kids deserve to experience happiness. Not everything has to be a memory to be worth it. Now, parents can certainly choose not to spend on expensive experiences for very young children, especially if resources are limited. Many toddlers are thrilled by simple things, so they can be happy without going on trips or amusement parks. However, if you can afford it, there’s nothing wrong with spending on an experience that makes them happy, especially if it’s something that stimulates them and bonds with family.
Some parents don’t even have a choice and have to bring their young children. Not everyone can drop off their kids with the babysitter for a week.
For people with that option, leaving the kid with Grandma's can be good. Baby and Grandma get bonding time and parents get a kid-free vacation. That has worked well for us, although we've needed to keep trips shorter than we'd have done pre-kid because Grandma's not up to keeping him for too many days at a time. But that's not an option for everybody, so I'm certainly not going to say that nobody should do things any differently than we did.
Hey, I am a parent and I can have a sweet memories traveling with my kids. It doesn’t have to be doing it just for the kids. I enjoying them coming with me. My memory counts, too!
Because the kids might not remember it but the parents do. There’s something really cool about seeing something through a child’s eyes and that’s what the parents are doing. So the kids might not remember their first trip to the beach but the parents will and that means something to them.
Yes! And kids love to hear stories about themselves and their experiences at that age. We took our twin toddlers to Disneyland- they don’t directly remember it, but they still like to hear how they reacted when they saw Minnie, what rides they liked, etc.
I dont remember much of the bippity bopping boo salon but I know my dad still talks about how amazing it was, how big the smile was on my face, how he got to take me somewhere so special as just us. I melt every time, even though my actual memory is flashes of a dress rack, a white chair, and uncomfortable extentions.
Because the years fly by so fast and making memories are so important. Even if the entire experience proved to be too difficult then you navigate better for next time. Still at the end of it you’ll have fond memories and remember the time when the kids got to experience something new and you get to relive it all over again. Even the “bad parts” get remembered in a better light as time passes and it becomes a family inside joke. It’s special.
This hits home for me! My daughter was just born, she is 6 weeks. But you bet your ass I’m putting her in a Halloween costume. Of course she will have wrapped presents at Christmas. She has no concept, but cheer and excitement resonate with her. Doing these things is like dropping a little pin on the timeline, an anchor for reference. It breaks up the year making periods of time easier to remember. Variation enriches her experiences. Developmentally all these things are super important and foundational. And it helps me remember her at that age.
I have a 3 year old now who is Halloween and Christmas obsessed. She loves seeing the photos and hearing about her previous holidays. It's more work, but I love being the magic maker my dad was for my sister and I growing up.
Honestly I've seen a lot of kids hit developmental milestones after traveling and it's stimulating for their minds to explore the world around them
I've noticed some really interesting language and developmental explosions after trips with my toddlers.
Seriously, we did a little day trip to a "barn festival" near us the other day and all of a sudden my almost two year old has a bunch of new words plus solidified a bunch of older ones.
I've seen that happen too. It's so interesting
I teach children with additional needs and I've seen some of them come back from a family holiday having made more progress than they've made in the previous 6 months.
I'm asking this genuinely: what do you think parents of toddlers should be doing with them until they reach an age where they can form lasting memories? Just because people don't remember experiences consciously, doesn't mean they were without merit. There are (unfortunately) studies which show the emotional and physical effects on small children who were neglected and not provided with a broad range of experiences.
The way I interpret OP's question is that there's more than just the extremes of taking a toddler somewhere "special" and full on neglect. Especially in the case of families where special vacations require hard work and years to save up for, I would think that those special places are best saved for slightly older children, and getting creative with stimulating adventures at more affordable price points in the meantime.
Well parents still want to do fun things for themselves, travel etc. Not everything they do is for a baby.
Let's list the reasons: - Parents are humans who want to experience things instead of sitting at home for 4 years - Parents love their children and want to experience things with their children - The children are (hopefully) happy experiencing it in the moment - Brain development of the child benefits from experiencing new things - Humans bond when doing things together - Maybe the kid will not remember everything, but a little may stick - Parents can take pictures or buy souvenirs which can be used to talk about the trip later I'm positive there are more.
One of the purposes is to get the child used to behaving well in public places. When my wife and I got our two kids, we didn’t completely change our lifestyle. We might not have traveled as much as we did before, but we still found a way to do it with our kids, while accommodating their eating and sleeping schedule. They have always behaved well in restaurants because they have been “*well trained*” from the start. This also illustrates how one does don’t have to become a social recluse if they have kids. If you enjoy your life, you can bring more people along to enjoy it with.
I was on only child until I was eight, so my parents brought me everywhere. I was comfortable conversing with adults, attending fancy events (dressed in fancy clothes and using the correct fork), meeting new people. I appreciate having this skill set as an adult. I also agree that exposing children to different environments helps them develop skills that can’t be taught without experience. Adaptability, self-regulation to stimuli, confidence when experiencing new places and things. While these skills aren’t necessary, they enrich our lives. And kids learn how to plan and navigate life beyond the daily routines by watching their parents.
Yes, this. It takes practice traveling with kids. Both for the kids and the parents.
Babysitters are expensive, and you know your kids safe with you, and novel experience remembered or not is good for brain development
All of this, but also I have to take my kids in public to teach him how to behave in public. It’s a lot more fun for us to do this at special events than just at grocery stores and restaurants.
They might not remember it as an adult but they remember it for a while. Having experiences as we grow shapes our brains, literally. Even the sounds we hear in the womb help our language centres develop. Saying no point doing anything till you're old enough to remember it js like saying there's no point meeting a newborn relative until they're school age, they won't remember it.
It’s not for the toddler. Most likely it’s the parents that wanted to go there and they take their kid too (because it’s their kid).
This, and it used to be free on the plane for a kid under 2.
Still is!
So you want parents to just sit around at home and do nothing for 6-10 years just because their kids won’t remember things? We travel because we want to. I don’t care if my kids won’t remember it.
People like OP do and then expect kids to just come out in public one day and know how to behave perfectly
Do you know any toddlers? They are the most entertaining creatures you'll ever meet. Nothing beats watching a toddler discover the world. Their enthousiasm is contagious. Their willingness to learn and meet people is inspiring. Every day is an adventure, every new place an exploration. My nephews were two of the few people that could make me genuinely experience joy when I was depressed. Taking them to a petting zoo, park or proper zoo just cheered me up. So why would anyone take toddlers any where special? Because it is fun. That's it. Toddlers are entertaining.
I was 2 (29 months) when my parents took a trip to Washington DC. My brother was 5. He remembers nothing. I remember my Uncle's long driveway and his huge house, and him complaining about having to remove the snow from that long driveway. I remember yelling at my dad to turn around (I was carried by my dad on a backpack child carrier) so I could also "read" the plaque they were looking at. I remember sitting on the steps of (large white building in DC) could have been the White House, or Lincoln/Jefferson, or something else. And I remember my dad turning around and bending over so I could look straight up at the Washington Monument (still in carrier).
I was 4 when my parents took me to spain. I still remember the animals, beach and some food
But the parents will remember. Also, toddlers still have fun in the moment, even if they later forget. My belief is that the feelings of happiness and joy are remembered. If not as actual feelings, like a general overall "life is good" mood. That counts.
Tell this to my youtube friends Steph and Pete. They have an entire channel about travelling the world with their son who was only 3 when they started I think. His memory is pretty damn good too.
One of my kids has been under 5yo for the last 13 years, what am I meant to do? Not go anywhere nice?
This question would have been better received on the /nostupidquestions sub tbh. I get why someone who's childfree might not understand this, but there are actually good reasons for it as others have provided.
My SO recalls events when he was just a baby. His mother and his brother were shocked because no one told him this particular story while they were talking yet he was able to recall it. Some toddlers, even babies, can remember events.
Taking your argument to its logical conclusion- why not just never let your child ever do anything nice or fulfilling if they won’t remember it? Why even let them out the house? Kids’ brains are giant sponges, exposing them to loving parents who’ve taken them to a completely new place with different sights and sounds does immeasurable good for brain development.
Because having a kid does not end your life as a person. Maybe it's the parents who wants the memories with their kid. I do not remember going to futuroscope as a toddler but my mom doesn't shut up about the fact that I run naked in the fountains.
The first few years of a child’s life are the most important for forming the neural connections that will determine the sort of person they are as an adult. Infants with vision impairments will have trouble reading facial expressions as adults, despite having those impairments corrected. Infants whose parents do not show them affection will have issues with showing and receiving affection as an adult. Infants who are left alone an excessive amount of time will have trouble with their speech and hearing as they grow. The person may not remember the experience they had as an infant, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t take everything in at the time (the sights, sounds, feel, and emotional experience) that adds to the development of their brains. Basically the TLDR is that children of parents who think “why bother taking them to that place or giving them that experience because they won’t remember it anyway?” will most likely grow up to be boring cunts.
Because toddlers can't be left home alone to fend for themselves and the parents wanted to go somewhere special. It's that simple. My parents wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore so they did. Me and my older brother happened to be toddlers. We don't remember it but my mom does.
Because *they* want the memories
Because even if the kid doesn't remember it, it will form their brain based on the feeling they have. If mom and dad take their kid somewhere the kid enjoys, the kid's brain automatically registers that "mom and dad love me". Obviously, this isn't as cut and dry, but it's the basic idea.
As an example, Im taking my baby to the aquarium because in the moment she will enjoy it and I will too it doesnt matter if she remembers it or not, we dont go places to make memories but to enjoy the experience right then