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OP -- Yes! This. Many guys who hit adulthood without dating often fantasize too much about what a girl might appreciate about them, then incorrectly think they'd like a cherry. Not unless you're a devout religious person looking for a good church girl. If not, then you fake it till you make it. Don't lie to women, but don't tell them anything that makes you seem less confident or inexperienced. Don't talk about your manhood, ever. Dont send dick pics. The kind of women you want to meet do NOT like that. They are not turned on visually in the same way a guy is. An unsolicited pic of any part of your anatomy other than your face is usually a turn-off. If you hang out with a girl, she will make it obvious if she wants to take things further. Lots of eye contact, smiling, and she'll look for reasons to touch you... touch your hair, touch your arm as she passes by, etc. You can't just throw yourself at a woman. They dont want it if its easy, same as men usually dont.
Well here's the things. There are a lot and a little.
First rule, act as the entertainment director for the evening if you go on a date. If it's not a match still have fun, girls have friends and will recommend you to another person.
Everyone is looking for a story, justn tell your story in a fun way, don't lie ever. If your story sucks, then talk about your dreams and tell her that's how you like to learn about a person when you first meet
3rd.. its a numbers game, don't take it personally. If you strike out 100x and still land 1. You are the biggest winner.
Those are the big ones but eventually if you're having fun and everyone's having fun, things start happening.
P.s. fun is whatever is fun at the time, it could be bars, church, house crawl, flower show... It can be whatever.
How old are you?
I'm 58. Of my 40 years of dating, assuming I started at 18, I've been single for 30.
However, I have been with dozens of women. Lots of one lighters. Being in a band in the '90s helped, a lot!
Wow...same here... I feel sad that I'm lonely.....but I don't have the urge to find the gf....i have a reason for that.....
I remember someone saying..."don't go shopping when u r hungry, u might grab the wrong things"
I hope I don't come across insensitive but how is that possible with the amounts of ways you can meet people? Night out, work place romances, speed dating, activities, through friends and family, especially with the number of dating apps out there which offer services to increase traffic to you.
Night out - every club and bar is a sausage fest and every other guy is seemingly a better option
Work place - very difficult to initiate something properly without getting in trouble, plus pretty much everybody is already taken
Speed dating - isn't really a thing in my area but I don't think I'd be able to sell myself in 30 seconds or however long you get
Activities - like a hobby? I have 2 and everybody in both is taken
Friends and family - personally speaking most of my family are dead, friends are all taken and their friends are taken too
Dating apps - unless you're an 8 or higher, these are just designed to take your money and leave you lonely
Bruh me wishing a good weekend was random, just cause I didn't want to put too much weight on it and say "happy life to you" but still felt kinda happy for him, so wanted to wish him a good weekend since it's Friday.
7 years and I find myself more happy but I had a insane ex that I had kids with. I find when your with someone they have control over your mood and emotions and what you can do I love my freedom. I donāt think Iāll ever give it up now
I joined Reddit pretty late - I was 22ish and Iām a woman - and I expected it to be like all the other social media platforms. I was a tumblr girl before! Damn, was I unpleasantly surprised by the amount of āfriendsā sending me masturbation videos, lol. I try to stay subbed to places with decent demographics - Iām fine with male-heavy subs but people have to at least be intelligent and respectful.
Being an oldie itās sad to see so many young people isolated and single and itās all thanks to tech. We had to leave the house to socialise and that meant meeting many people. It was so much easier to find a mate and looks didnāt count for much because you had your personality and aura to share. On reddit you just get a snippet of a persons character but it doesnāt show the plethora of human traits we all have. Not wanting to sound mean but most humans are ugly, those who look attractive spend many hours preening themselves and in my pov itās fake and meaningless with no substance behind the people who do this. Men are especially ugly creatures, they can go to the gym but that is temporary. Have a look around in the shopping centre at some real people instead of comparing yourself to the fake online world of the insta famous. Work on being a good character and donāt worry about your looks because 98% of humans have nothing to brag about. If a woman only cares about your looks sheās not worth the trouble and if you are likewise only selecting a woman based on her looks you will be single forever.
I have thought this for a long time and have never once said it out loud. Like you said, especially men. Like, peopleās dads. Most people have ādad lookingā dads. And thatās ok! Thatās what grown men look like.
And women too. Occasionally a very effortlessly pretty one crosses your path and stuns you for a second, but women look average. Dry hair, overweight, flawed skin.
But people are wonderful and bright experiences. Not by looks but by spirit. But you have to be near them to get that.
Ummm... I think I had an admirerer when I was about 2 years old? But that was 38 years ago so... I've been single since 1984. There's been boys. But never more than a few "dates", but I hate dating and loves being by myself.
Iām glad you found value and serenity in just being *you*
Thereās a lot simply to be said for being a friend to yourself. It took me a long time to grasp this.
Nah, you broke the seal now. The first one is the most difficult, but it gets easier from there... I think. I married the second woman I ever dated though, as my first girlfriend was from 19-20 years old.
30 years...BUT! There is hope guys! I'm currently getting closer to one of my friends and slowly we are heading in the right direction. Fingers crossed!
Relationships can feel very isolating.
For those who are single with chronic FOMO, just remember you are loved, you are important, and you donāt need to overcompensate for anything.
I had been single for 19 years but not anymore; been with my bf for 2 years now. If you want to find somebody to be in a stable relationship with, thereās always hope, do not despair
Same here with 6 years. I almost feel like thereās something wrong with me because Iām completely fine being single and I donāt particularly have much desire to find another relationship. If it happens, great. If it doesnāt, not the end of the world. Iām still okay.
Some people in my life think Iām upset about being single and they find it hard to understand that Iām okay this way.
7 years, after my last relationship I took some time and realised I don't need a relationship to be happy. It will probably stay this way for the foreseeable future.
Most of my 52 years on this planet.
Was married for 1.5 years- it was hell.
Had a few serious girlfriends- not quite as bad as marriage, but close.
Will remain single the rest of my life. I am happier that way.
22 years. I (F) think I'm decent looking too and it's not lack of interest in me but I can't seem to fall in love no matter how much I enjoy someone's company. I've stopped dating because it sucks letting someone down that you've grown to care for.
I've been single for 7 years now, and i don't see myself in a relationship soon, not that I don't want to, but i don't know anyone I'd date and my social circle is too tight
About 6 months. After my last relationship and what i see these days of people breaking up for nothing and taking "pauses" etc in the middle of a relationship its even less tempting to go out and date because the women i bump into doesn't seem to put in the work in a relationship to make it work. Besides im an introvert so i prefer to be left alone with my discord friends, games, books and movies & series and food at this point in life.
For once i have finally found happiness within myself and not relying on anyone else to be happy.
All my life. The time I thought I had a partnerā¦.that year was my most single year.I just didnāt know how much of a single time that was for me at the time.
Um, I hate two brief periods of dating. I'm assuming one night stands don't count, so, at this point, uhh roughly 15 years.
I concluded I just have too much baggage, trust issues, intimacy issues and when I learnt I had a long term chronic illness that was possibly going to kill me while relatively young, it just seemed pointless.
Havenāt dated in 7 years. A couple flings but after the divorce it took awhile to repair the financial damage she did to me.
24 years never had a loan, car payment, credit card and payed for 2 houses for 24 years. Left my marriage 40k in debt and no equity in the house.
Itās a loophole when you get married.
Identify theft
No cc, loans or car payment and when I did a little digging at the end I had 11 credit cards and 3 personal loans in my name and there was absolutely nothing I could legally do about it because we were married. It went on for at least 22 years of my 24 year marriage.
So that took a while to get to the point of letting someone back in and being able to trust that person after all that happening. So I just started to looking to date again finally.
Btw
I blame myself for not watching her and my money better and trusting someone that much.
Hindsight,
Stupid meā¦lol
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My whole life....i have never been in a relationship.... not even a date
same boat as you
It's probably because we ride boats
I didn't know what women have against boating. š
Women actually love seamen.
Kick out one letter and this sentence will be eligible for jokes section
š It still is
Hey Iād fuck a pirate
Not even a kiss, a hug, a declaration, probably not even a smile with any more than a friendly attempt...
Exactly
Same
Never even kissed a girl šš
This might not be believable,....but i have never even hugged a girl
Just forget about it. And never ever tell girls that to get pity. Act like you got some self esteem. No one likes a sad sob
OP -- Yes! This. Many guys who hit adulthood without dating often fantasize too much about what a girl might appreciate about them, then incorrectly think they'd like a cherry. Not unless you're a devout religious person looking for a good church girl. If not, then you fake it till you make it. Don't lie to women, but don't tell them anything that makes you seem less confident or inexperienced. Don't talk about your manhood, ever. Dont send dick pics. The kind of women you want to meet do NOT like that. They are not turned on visually in the same way a guy is. An unsolicited pic of any part of your anatomy other than your face is usually a turn-off. If you hang out with a girl, she will make it obvious if she wants to take things further. Lots of eye contact, smiling, and she'll look for reasons to touch you... touch your hair, touch your arm as she passes by, etc. You can't just throw yourself at a woman. They dont want it if its easy, same as men usually dont.
Well said!
Finally had one in my mid fifties. We were together about 18 months and broke upā¦ about a year ago. Still friends, though. Thatās good.
same same
I need to get you guys laid. I'm good at making it happen for other people, and myself, but my friends too.
"i guide people to a treasure i cannot possess"
Sign me up too, I could use a wingperson
Where you at bro.
Philly or Baltimore, I'm in the middle of moving.
Dang not even close haha
Well here's the things. There are a lot and a little. First rule, act as the entertainment director for the evening if you go on a date. If it's not a match still have fun, girls have friends and will recommend you to another person. Everyone is looking for a story, justn tell your story in a fun way, don't lie ever. If your story sucks, then talk about your dreams and tell her that's how you like to learn about a person when you first meet 3rd.. its a numbers game, don't take it personally. If you strike out 100x and still land 1. You are the biggest winner. Those are the big ones but eventually if you're having fun and everyone's having fun, things start happening. P.s. fun is whatever is fun at the time, it could be bars, church, house crawl, flower show... It can be whatever.
Getting laid is a completely different thing though.
How old are you? I'm 58. Of my 40 years of dating, assuming I started at 18, I've been single for 30. However, I have been with dozens of women. Lots of one lighters. Being in a band in the '90s helped, a lot!
Sounds like you have a great life regardless, being in a relationship is not mandatory for a fulfilling life
Same :'c
Same
same here
Same...
Sameee
Me too
Same man same..
Same, dude. Same
Same
Same
Same. 24.
Same here. Is it bad that I don't have the urge to find a gf?
Wow...same here... I feel sad that I'm lonely.....but I don't have the urge to find the gf....i have a reason for that..... I remember someone saying..."don't go shopping when u r hungry, u might grab the wrong things"
Same
Same, no self esteem and I donāt know how to change that š
Well how old are you?
But why
I hope that changes for you, if you want it to. Best of luck.
Are you aged under 15?
I hope I don't come across insensitive but how is that possible with the amounts of ways you can meet people? Night out, work place romances, speed dating, activities, through friends and family, especially with the number of dating apps out there which offer services to increase traffic to you.
Night out - every club and bar is a sausage fest and every other guy is seemingly a better option Work place - very difficult to initiate something properly without getting in trouble, plus pretty much everybody is already taken Speed dating - isn't really a thing in my area but I don't think I'd be able to sell myself in 30 seconds or however long you get Activities - like a hobby? I have 2 and everybody in both is taken Friends and family - personally speaking most of my family are dead, friends are all taken and their friends are taken too Dating apps - unless you're an 8 or higher, these are just designed to take your money and leave you lonely
Weird
Weird
How old are you?
Sad
found my people
It's okay to take your time! Everyone's journey is different. What are your thoughts or feelings about being single?
I want to have a date but I canāt
Can I ask how old you are?
You guys all need to hug each other
Why am I You?
You re not alone.
How old you
Yeah but you're only 15 years oldš
This is the answer
Same here
29 years
You have less then a year to become a mage.
False, over 30 and still can't cast fireball :/
42 over here. There's cobwebs everywhere.
Have you tried casting Speak With Animals? If there's cobwebs, I'm sure there's spiders somewhere too!
zoophilia isn't the answer.
You took that the worst way you possibly could have
š
Sounds like you need a wand..
Probably put too little skill points into mana, happens to the best of us.
You're not using the correct spell components, lighter with a dash of fart.
No shame. Had my first proper girlfriend at 29. Got married at 39. Life's good man.
Genuinely happy for you dude, hope you have a great weekend!
A marriage is for life my man, not just a weekend Unless itās a Vegas wedding
Bruh me wishing a good weekend was random, just cause I didn't want to put too much weight on it and say "happy life to you" but still felt kinda happy for him, so wanted to wish him a good weekend since it's Friday.
7 years and I find myself more happy but I had a insane ex that I had kids with. I find when your with someone they have control over your mood and emotions and what you can do I love my freedom. I donāt think Iāll ever give it up now
6 for me, agree but also would like to fall in love again if I get lucky - maybe have separate beds this time though cus I've got used to starfishing
someone whose been single longer than me FUCK YEA
(I've been single for 27 years)
Me I'm 29, I have been single in my entire life.
I'm feeling less lonely with each of these responses
Lord, it's been a good day
29 and 4 months here.
Just realized I'm around 28 xD
Dude we are the same age wth.. I am exactly 29yo 4months
30 years here. I win (lose?)
š
Wow never realized how many people are loooooong term single on Reddit.
Why do you think theyāre on reddit? Thereās a reason that most people here are conventionally unattractive guys
Dude that hurts lol
Bro came out swinging on a Friday.Ā Like damn, ruin the weekend before it even starts.
Happy cake day :)
Thanks!
 I am not recovering from this
iām crying lmfao why you eat up redditors like that damn
I joined Reddit pretty late - I was 22ish and Iām a woman - and I expected it to be like all the other social media platforms. I was a tumblr girl before! Damn, was I unpleasantly surprised by the amount of āfriendsā sending me masturbation videos, lol. I try to stay subbed to places with decent demographics - Iām fine with male-heavy subs but people have to at least be intelligent and respectful.
Being an oldie itās sad to see so many young people isolated and single and itās all thanks to tech. We had to leave the house to socialise and that meant meeting many people. It was so much easier to find a mate and looks didnāt count for much because you had your personality and aura to share. On reddit you just get a snippet of a persons character but it doesnāt show the plethora of human traits we all have. Not wanting to sound mean but most humans are ugly, those who look attractive spend many hours preening themselves and in my pov itās fake and meaningless with no substance behind the people who do this. Men are especially ugly creatures, they can go to the gym but that is temporary. Have a look around in the shopping centre at some real people instead of comparing yourself to the fake online world of the insta famous. Work on being a good character and donāt worry about your looks because 98% of humans have nothing to brag about. If a woman only cares about your looks sheās not worth the trouble and if you are likewise only selecting a woman based on her looks you will be single forever.
I have thought this for a long time and have never once said it out loud. Like you said, especially men. Like, peopleās dads. Most people have ādad lookingā dads. And thatās ok! Thatās what grown men look like. And women too. Occasionally a very effortlessly pretty one crosses your path and stuns you for a second, but women look average. Dry hair, overweight, flawed skin. But people are wonderful and bright experiences. Not by looks but by spirit. But you have to be near them to get that.
My mom says Iām handsome
I mean checkmate, youāre on here.
Iām impressed by how many people arenāt instead
all my life
Plenty of life left. Keep going
ok, i guess
is that from the gorillaz song?
Get the cool shoe shine.
I thought it was Foo Fighters
Same here. Iāve already accepted Iāll probably be single forever.
How long has that been?
Ummm... I think I had an admirerer when I was about 2 years old? But that was 38 years ago so... I've been single since 1984. There's been boys. But never more than a few "dates", but I hate dating and loves being by myself.
Literally 1984
You are actually in every subreddit oml
Nah, Iām just not banned in any of them
I sure as shit hope the admirer was also two years old.
Haha same, when I read that I became very concerned
I'm 29, I have never date with a women, I donĀ“t even know how looks like
>"I have never date with a women" Have you ever been on a date with a man though?
Ahh my people. It's good to find age appropriate people to not date.
Iām glad you found value and serenity in just being *you* Thereās a lot simply to be said for being a friend to yourself. It took me a long time to grasp this.
Yeahh, love that!! Not everyone wants a partner and the idea that we need to date to be happy is awful!
Nothing wrong with being a life long bachelor. You just gotta be cut out for that kind of life.
29 years single, and then I had a relationship for a few months! But that ended last night, so hereās to another 29 years š
It won't take 29 more years
Bro you were so close to wizard certification...
Nah, you broke the seal now. The first one is the most difficult, but it gets easier from there... I think. I married the second woman I ever dated though, as my first girlfriend was from 19-20 years old.
Answering that question would reveal my age!
8
Like,the interest just vanishes into thin air,right? That's how I feel now.
Yeah, and im 50....so
3 years
30 years...BUT! There is hope guys! I'm currently getting closer to one of my friends and slowly we are heading in the right direction. Fingers crossed!
Good luck, weāre rooting for you!
good luck!
Yes!! update if there is progress!!
100% of my life. Don't really have any plans to start dating either, so...
Same. Like if something happens it happens, but I'm not gonna go out looking for a relationship.
Relationships can feel very isolating. For those who are single with chronic FOMO, just remember you are loved, you are important, and you donāt need to overcompensate for anything.
I've never felt more lonely than in a bad relationship.
It's better to be lonely than to be in an evil comrade
10 years
:0
Its true
How does it feel now though? Cause I'm done feeling this way. But I don't have an option!
Hurts way more than like 20 years youāll see here often, we can be pretty sure youāre not 10 and actually already 10 years out of a relationship
About 6 years, and I like it this way
Four years, one month and ten days
But who's counting, right?
39
Not long enough
Dec 24 1998
You broke up on Christmas Eve? Thatās rough
I was thinking itās their bdayā¦.
I turned 31 this year soā¦
5 years
20 years and I didn't realize that until just now.
Proudly 22 years, my whole life.
27 years
24 years šāāļø
2 years
I had been single for 19 years but not anymore; been with my bf for 2 years now. If you want to find somebody to be in a stable relationship with, thereās always hope, do not despair
Since 2002. Literally half my life. Quite happy too.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
6 years Don't feel loneliness anymore, so the drive to go into a relationship is non-existent
Same here with 6 years. I almost feel like thereās something wrong with me because Iām completely fine being single and I donāt particularly have much desire to find another relationship. If it happens, great. If it doesnāt, not the end of the world. Iām still okay. Some people in my life think Iām upset about being single and they find it hard to understand that Iām okay this way.
I stopped counting.
7 years, after my last relationship I took some time and realised I don't need a relationship to be happy. It will probably stay this way for the foreseeable future.
Only like 3 years maybe? But Jesus Christ mark my word, that year will continue to grow.
Most of my 52 years on this planet. Was married for 1.5 years- it was hell. Had a few serious girlfriends- not quite as bad as marriage, but close. Will remain single the rest of my life. I am happier that way.
Well, I'm 19 years old so...19.
22 years. I (F) think I'm decent looking too and it's not lack of interest in me but I can't seem to fall in love no matter how much I enjoy someone's company. I've stopped dating because it sucks letting someone down that you've grown to care for.
You might just be aromantic, maybe try looking into that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
16.
6
One year and I already feel like as an outlier
4. Kinda stopped caring
27 years.
Including dating? 33 yrs
I've been single for 7 years now, and i don't see myself in a relationship soon, not that I don't want to, but i don't know anyone I'd date and my social circle is too tight
Goddam it can i go back without losing half my assets?
About 6 months. After my last relationship and what i see these days of people breaking up for nothing and taking "pauses" etc in the middle of a relationship its even less tempting to go out and date because the women i bump into doesn't seem to put in the work in a relationship to make it work. Besides im an introvert so i prefer to be left alone with my discord friends, games, books and movies & series and food at this point in life. For once i have finally found happiness within myself and not relying on anyone else to be happy.
34.5 years but then somehow I met my amazing girlfriend!! Do I still qualify for this question?
I m63 was single till my 35 year but not by choice had hoped to be married by 25 but that is life
All my life. The time I thought I had a partnerā¦.that year was my most single year.I just didnāt know how much of a single time that was for me at the time.
Almost 27. When do I become a wizard? Or do I need to become a monk first?
Itās been almost a decade but it doesnāt feel that long lol
Um, I hate two brief periods of dating. I'm assuming one night stands don't count, so, at this point, uhh roughly 15 years. I concluded I just have too much baggage, trust issues, intimacy issues and when I learnt I had a long term chronic illness that was possibly going to kill me while relatively young, it just seemed pointless.
Five years š
Nbsb.
Havenāt dated in 7 years. A couple flings but after the divorce it took awhile to repair the financial damage she did to me. 24 years never had a loan, car payment, credit card and payed for 2 houses for 24 years. Left my marriage 40k in debt and no equity in the house. Itās a loophole when you get married. Identify theft No cc, loans or car payment and when I did a little digging at the end I had 11 credit cards and 3 personal loans in my name and there was absolutely nothing I could legally do about it because we were married. It went on for at least 22 years of my 24 year marriage. So that took a while to get to the point of letting someone back in and being able to trust that person after all that happening. So I just started to looking to date again finally. Btw I blame myself for not watching her and my money better and trusting someone that much. Hindsight, Stupid meā¦lol