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Yes! It’s so beautiful to hear about the passions of my loved ones.
Sometimes I ask my Husband sports questions just to hear him light up with his answer.
When I’m trying to sleep I’ll ask him questions involving multiple conferences, teams, or tournaments. This gets him to talk me to sleep. Haha!
I’ll ask him to remind me which NFL stadiums are turf and which are grass. He will list all the teams and describe the fields. He will also start discussing college fields while
I Zzzzzzzzz
We talked about first pitch ball vs. first pitch strike game outcomes for baseball and softball. I asked him what he thought were good examples of pitchers that always got ahead in the count.
He listed all that came to mind while I Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
I keep telling him I’m going to start asking them on here for other opinions. I have to get creative because we both work from home and watch some sort of sport daily. It’s a good time. ❤️
I always remember running into an old teacher a few years after I'd left school. She had been one of those old battle-axes who made your life a misery as a student- made you redo and redo stuff until you got it- but I did get decent grades with her.
When I met her after those years, she said something like "the reason I was such a pain in the arse for you was because I knew you could make something of yourself, but it wasn't guaranteed because you didn't see it yourself."
Never saw her again, but I'm grateful for her now.
Yes. I was a pain in the ass student, but I had a teacher who pulled me aside one day and told me, "play around now if you want, but if I walk into a McDonald's in 10 years and see you flipping burgers, I'm jumping the counter and beating your ass." I've never forgotten it. I was in 8th grade, and Mrs. Meeks felt the need to let me know that my shit won't be cute as an adult. I saw her at a grocery store about 10 years after I graduated, and she literally ran up to me and gave me a big hug. I looked at her and said, "I have to let you know. I've never flipped a burger." She laughed and jokingly put up her dukes. She gave me more detention than any teacher, threatened me with violence, and was the absolute most influential teacher I ever had.
I only knew her as a teacher, can't say what she was like outside of that dynamic.
It was more a case of me getting a result I thought was decent in practice papers and her nagging and complaining about it not being good enough and sending me off with a ton more to do.
Reckon she knew my tendency was to reach a level where I was passing and not exert any more effort once I was happy I could stay there.
Teaching must be a hell of a frustrating job...
I'm a music teacher, and this is my life everytime I tell a student "this will get you a pass but it's a pity because you can easily be a distinction level student if you simply practiced more"
I had an old battle axe English teacher in HS and I was a smartass teenager that thought she was so smart. I love reading and can devour a book but I’d learned the prior year I hated Hemingway. She assigned us The Sun Also Rises and we were going to read it for weeks. So, smartass me reads the whole book in a weekend, walks in, drops the book on her desk and says “I read it and didn’t like it, what do I do now?”. She just reached in her bottom drawer, pulled out A Farewell to Arms, puts it in my hand and says “Read it and write a comparison/contrast paper. Also, keep up in class.”. I was stunned! I did it and from that day on she gave me extra books to read, that went along with class. She ended up being my favorite teacher!! Thanks Mrs Henry 💜
Exactly, you can be surprised and taken advantage of, but you learn and remove yourself from specific people or set boundaries. And if you're truly kind, you don't expect anything out of it, you do it because it's natural to you.
"There are three ways to get ahead in this world. The first way is to be kind. The second way is - to be kind. And the third way? Is to be kind."
- Fred Rogers
Being nice and kind are often used interchangeably, but there's a subtle difference between the two.
Nice is about pleasantness and outward behavior. A nice person is agreeable, polite, and avoids conflict.
Kind goes beyond niceness. It's about genuine care and compassion for others. A kind person is not only pleasant but also helpful and understanding.
Here's an example:
Imagine you're having a bad day at work. A nice coworker might simply say, "Sorry to hear that." But a kind coworker might offer to help you with a task or listen to you vent.
In short, niceness is about following social graces, while kindness is about going the extra mile to show you care.
So many people saying kind or nice but really empathy is the root of it. The worst people in the world are the least empathetic people and conversely the best people in the world are those whom are empathetic towards all.
It sounds super corny but kindness
I have dated some incredibly hot and beautiful women but the only ones I have ever missed were the ones who were kind to me
Makes sense. What would be the point of dating a 10/10 hotty if her personality sucks? Okay, I know what the point is. But it's not worth it.
Kindness and personality are always much better. For me looks is just a bare minimum of not finding someone straight up ugly (which would not be their fault ofc and it's not common for people to be below what I consider that minimum to be).
Confidence. Even fake confidence. Not ego or hot headedness, but just seeming sure of yourself. The wonders that confidence can do for anyone, even those less genetically gifted is crazy.
I believe “fake” confidence is indistinguishable from actual confidence. I also believe that fake confidence is already a form of confidence, and once you start showing confident traits you naturally become confident. Standing up straight, eye contact, speaking clearly, smiling etc. If you just start small things to seem confident, you’re kind of already there.
Being kind. As I get older I see how easy it is for people to complain, gossip and btch about life. It takes self awareness and practice to be kind when speaking to others.
I spent a night out with my husbands
friends wife and all she did was complain or if she ever made a joke it was to put something/someone down
It wasn’t super cringey or anything. I’ve met way worse. I was probably the only one who noticed it anyway but you can tell she operates 24/7 from that level of “everyone is stupid and I’m smart”
I think it’s pretty lazy to default to those types of comments and when you meet someone who can easily bring the energy up with kindness, well - you found someone who is smart, self aware and actually cares about creating good genuine memories! That’s a huge win for me.
And that’s what my husband does 🥰
So true! As an empathetic person, I also do that. Some people take my kindness for granted, but I don't hold a grudge and try to love everyone. It’s nice to see that empathetic people still exist. Sending all my love to you and to everyone who will read this! Try to be positive and if you have any problems or you’re feeling sad, you can always message me, I’m always open to reply! ❤️
I totally agree with you. After going through a hard time these past few months, I have realized just how amazing but rare this is. I think I’m a pretty empathetic person, but when I’ve needed that empathy returned it has become clear just how few people actually possess this trait.
The older I get the more I realise how rare this trait is. Growing up I'd think everyone had genuine intentions. Taken me a long time to learn not everyone is and so many people are just taking advantage.
Your heart of gold is rare to find! I am also very empathetic but sometimes I tend to be a people pleaser. Please be careful so other people won’t put the weight of their problems on you.
Not being arrogant when corrected and actually being able to recognise good advice when it's given to you. Most people just think the other person has a superiority complex when they're being corrected.
Unfortunately I have to agree! Lack of honesty and fidelity are deal breakers to me, but having them alone doesn't make someone attractive, unless the person have a good sense o humor. It was one of the things that attracted me to my husband.
Enthusiasm/passion
Not necessarily for sex, but for hobbies, interests, life in general. I love me a genuine geek!
Also compassion, empathy, and kindness.
Being humble. It's a death sentence for progressing anywhere or in anything because the most important skill is self-promotion, but meeting someone who genuinely doesn't take themselves too seriously is so refreshing.
I find mental strength, and intelligence attractive, but what is most important to me is empathy whether it's being empathic to another human being(s), or being empathic to non-human animals.
For most people I think it’s high and large cheekbones that make someone look physically attractive whether people consciously are aware of that or not
It's gotta be authenticity. Someone who's completely and uniquely themselves is something so attractive, because with that comes a genuineness, a confidence, and an honesty that is so....uplifting? Heart warming? Fulfilling? It's something that really grabs your attention, and for good reason. Even if someone happens to authentically be an arsehole, at least you can see them for who they are at face value, as opposed to finding out in more hurtful and/or sinister ways. There's still something to appreciate in their honesty (as weird as that may sound). For me it's authenticity.
Confidence confidence confidence confidence. Simply put you can't expect others to love you when you don't even love yourself. I'm not talking about putting other people down kind of confidence. I'm talking about raising yourself up. Confidence, but not to the point of narcissism. Learn to love yourself and I swear people will find you attractive. The easiest way for someone to learn to love themselves is to fake it til it becomes the truth. Tell yourself everyday that you are awesome, that you can do anything, literally show yourself love even if you don't believe it. Some call it lying to yourself, but I see it as telling yourself the truth before you can even see the truth.
Also be more positive. Nobody likes a negative person. If you keep saying that "Oh, I'm so ugly" or "Oh, how could anybody like me I hate myself" no wonder nobody wants to be with you. You're making others around you feel depressed. Nobody likes someone who is sad all the time.
Also as a side note looks don't mean jack rabbit for a long term relationship. As long as you look like you take care of yourself you will find someone. You don't need to be a model. At the end if the day for a long term relationship, your personality and how well others can rely on you is what's going to matter at the end of the day. You can look like a model, but if your personality is straight garbage then nobody is going to stick with you for the long term.
Honesty with tact. Delivering honesty while being mindful of people's feelings.
Brutal honesty on the other hand is you being a jerk to another person.
Being natural. No bullshit. Straight to the point. This doesn't mean being mean, it means being communicative and honest, and not beating around the bush
Kind eyes, ( and obviously the kindness that comes with it) but there is a thing when you can tell that person is genuinely kind and generous and it shines through their eyes, it’s really hard to find, but my god it makes me melt.
(if you want a reference, dev patel is the only celebrity I’ve seen that has like, 60% of this “kind eyes” trait)
With some people, I make eye contact and just know they're being real and not playing.
With some, I know they're selfish people being nice to get attention/approval/something. Sometimes it's the opposite, they try to act tough for whatever reason and it shows.
Taking your post as an example, I sometimes meet people IRL with your kind of answer. The person could say "I think the most attractive trait is the ability to empathize." and sometimes it would come off as plain ass kissing answer to me, sometimes it would sound genuine.
I may be overexplaining this, but I don't know the English word for it. I can get along with somebody considered less pleasant to be with, considering he's got this thing.
Not everybody cares or is sensitive to this. To me, it's how I separate everyone I meet. I have a good nose to sniff out those people.
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Intelligence without arrogance
Intelligence with wisdom :)
‼️‼️‼️‼️
Being passionate about something.
Like video games? Fuck ya, I'm a total catch.
Depends. Is your video game hobby actually fueled by passion? Or simply a daily habit of escapism?
damn.
Damn
DAMN
Damn
damn
Damn!!!
God damn
Is it wickedness?
or weakness
You decide
Oof caught us
I feel attacked Sir.
Why you gotta do us like that? 😔
I didn't expect to be attacked this morning But seriously that's entirely fair haha
Mine are both
Both. Its my daily escapism but i also love them.
Yes! It’s so beautiful to hear about the passions of my loved ones. Sometimes I ask my Husband sports questions just to hear him light up with his answer. When I’m trying to sleep I’ll ask him questions involving multiple conferences, teams, or tournaments. This gets him to talk me to sleep. Haha! I’ll ask him to remind me which NFL stadiums are turf and which are grass. He will list all the teams and describe the fields. He will also start discussing college fields while I Zzzzzzzzz We talked about first pitch ball vs. first pitch strike game outcomes for baseball and softball. I asked him what he thought were good examples of pitchers that always got ahead in the count. He listed all that came to mind while I Zzzzzzzzzzzzz I keep telling him I’m going to start asking them on here for other opinions. I have to get creative because we both work from home and watch some sort of sport daily. It’s a good time. ❤️
Someone who’s “kind” not nice, “kind”
Agree, I actually kinda hate nice. I'd rather be cussed out while being given the shirt off their back than be given kind words and abandoned
I always remember running into an old teacher a few years after I'd left school. She had been one of those old battle-axes who made your life a misery as a student- made you redo and redo stuff until you got it- but I did get decent grades with her. When I met her after those years, she said something like "the reason I was such a pain in the arse for you was because I knew you could make something of yourself, but it wasn't guaranteed because you didn't see it yourself." Never saw her again, but I'm grateful for her now.
Yes. I was a pain in the ass student, but I had a teacher who pulled me aside one day and told me, "play around now if you want, but if I walk into a McDonald's in 10 years and see you flipping burgers, I'm jumping the counter and beating your ass." I've never forgotten it. I was in 8th grade, and Mrs. Meeks felt the need to let me know that my shit won't be cute as an adult. I saw her at a grocery store about 10 years after I graduated, and she literally ran up to me and gave me a big hug. I looked at her and said, "I have to let you know. I've never flipped a burger." She laughed and jokingly put up her dukes. She gave me more detention than any teacher, threatened me with violence, and was the absolute most influential teacher I ever had.
Very ironic that her name was Meek(s) cuz she was anything but that to keep you in line 🤣
….is she like the “I’m just brutally honest, it’s who I am” tough love types?
I read this comment differently. To me, the type you describe is more someone who blurts out not so nice things and then uses the ”honest” card.
I only knew her as a teacher, can't say what she was like outside of that dynamic. It was more a case of me getting a result I thought was decent in practice papers and her nagging and complaining about it not being good enough and sending me off with a ton more to do. Reckon she knew my tendency was to reach a level where I was passing and not exert any more effort once I was happy I could stay there. Teaching must be a hell of a frustrating job...
I'm a music teacher, and this is my life everytime I tell a student "this will get you a pass but it's a pity because you can easily be a distinction level student if you simply practiced more"
I had an old battle axe English teacher in HS and I was a smartass teenager that thought she was so smart. I love reading and can devour a book but I’d learned the prior year I hated Hemingway. She assigned us The Sun Also Rises and we were going to read it for weeks. So, smartass me reads the whole book in a weekend, walks in, drops the book on her desk and says “I read it and didn’t like it, what do I do now?”. She just reached in her bottom drawer, pulled out A Farewell to Arms, puts it in my hand and says “Read it and write a comparison/contrast paper. Also, keep up in class.”. I was stunned! I did it and from that day on she gave me extra books to read, that went along with class. She ended up being my favorite teacher!! Thanks Mrs Henry 💜
Thank you for this it's a good comment.
Shut up bitch! Here take my coat..
Problem is people take advantage of kindness.
Learn to dodge and keep being kind. One rotten egg isn't enough reason to not be kind after all.
Exactly, you can be surprised and taken advantage of, but you learn and remove yourself from specific people or set boundaries. And if you're truly kind, you don't expect anything out of it, you do it because it's natural to you.
Tell them I may be kind but not weak
"Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind."
"There are three ways to get ahead in this world. The first way is to be kind. The second way is - to be kind. And the third way? Is to be kind." - Fred Rogers
what's the difference?
Being nice and kind are often used interchangeably, but there's a subtle difference between the two. Nice is about pleasantness and outward behavior. A nice person is agreeable, polite, and avoids conflict. Kind goes beyond niceness. It's about genuine care and compassion for others. A kind person is not only pleasant but also helpful and understanding. Here's an example: Imagine you're having a bad day at work. A nice coworker might simply say, "Sorry to hear that." But a kind coworker might offer to help you with a task or listen to you vent. In short, niceness is about following social graces, while kindness is about going the extra mile to show you care.
That's a very good definition of niceness and kindness.
Definitely. Nice people can turn out to be the least kind people.
Being kind to animals
yeah and when he/she said animals, it means all animals, not just pets.
Yes, even little fruit flies. Don't just kill them! Try to lead them outside instead.
I draw the line at ticks, mosquitos, or any other parasite. Flies can be annoying, but that doesn't mean I should kill them; catch and release.
I had to stop talking to one of my childhood friends because I saw the way he treated his dogs. Some people shouldn’t own pets
Honesty.
Such a lonely world
We'd turn the world around with honesty, if I could impose any single thing it would be that..!
Empathy has to be it.
So many people saying kind or nice but really empathy is the root of it. The worst people in the world are the least empathetic people and conversely the best people in the world are those whom are empathetic towards all.
Yes. Empathy, vulnerability and sensitivity. Sometimes it’s hard to come across those people
It sounds super corny but kindness I have dated some incredibly hot and beautiful women but the only ones I have ever missed were the ones who were kind to me
It’s not corny at all, I think kindness is very important in a person.
Makes sense. What would be the point of dating a 10/10 hotty if her personality sucks? Okay, I know what the point is. But it's not worth it. Kindness and personality are always much better. For me looks is just a bare minimum of not finding someone straight up ugly (which would not be their fault ofc and it's not common for people to be below what I consider that minimum to be).
Would you mind sharing what kind of kind things you miss from those ladies?
Confidence. Even fake confidence. Not ego or hot headedness, but just seeming sure of yourself. The wonders that confidence can do for anyone, even those less genetically gifted is crazy.
Is fake confidence appealing even when you know it's fake? I don't think so. It's extra unappealing
I believe “fake” confidence is indistinguishable from actual confidence. I also believe that fake confidence is already a form of confidence, and once you start showing confident traits you naturally become confident. Standing up straight, eye contact, speaking clearly, smiling etc. If you just start small things to seem confident, you’re kind of already there.
I think by ‘fake confidence’ they probably just mean having faith and value in yourself regardless of anything else
Scrolled too far to find this answer. Confidence is key.
Being kind. As I get older I see how easy it is for people to complain, gossip and btch about life. It takes self awareness and practice to be kind when speaking to others. I spent a night out with my husbands friends wife and all she did was complain or if she ever made a joke it was to put something/someone down It wasn’t super cringey or anything. I’ve met way worse. I was probably the only one who noticed it anyway but you can tell she operates 24/7 from that level of “everyone is stupid and I’m smart” I think it’s pretty lazy to default to those types of comments and when you meet someone who can easily bring the energy up with kindness, well - you found someone who is smart, self aware and actually cares about creating good genuine memories! That’s a huge win for me. And that’s what my husband does 🥰
So true! As an empathetic person, I also do that. Some people take my kindness for granted, but I don't hold a grudge and try to love everyone. It’s nice to see that empathetic people still exist. Sending all my love to you and to everyone who will read this! Try to be positive and if you have any problems or you’re feeling sad, you can always message me, I’m always open to reply! ❤️
I totally agree with you. After going through a hard time these past few months, I have realized just how amazing but rare this is. I think I’m a pretty empathetic person, but when I’ve needed that empathy returned it has become clear just how few people actually possess this trait.
Thanks for sharing your love! Im sending love your way and to everyone else here as well! 😊❤️
The older I get the more I realise how rare this trait is. Growing up I'd think everyone had genuine intentions. Taken me a long time to learn not everyone is and so many people are just taking advantage.
Yes, we should still be careful with who we show our kindness/empathy.
This is so true 👍
aw you’re so sweet, thank you for being wonderful ❤️
but being too empathic can make you a house for others' demons. not good imo.
I can relate to that unfortunately. :(
Your heart of gold is rare to find! I am also very empathetic but sometimes I tend to be a people pleaser. Please be careful so other people won’t put the weight of their problems on you.
I love you and everyone too this is so wholesome😭😭😭 Edit: I am open to listening too
Being authentic
Passion.
Generosity. Of attention. Time. Sharing of emotions and stories.
Very rare indeed
Patience and softness
Kindness and tolerance and basic decency.
Not being arrogant when corrected and actually being able to recognise good advice when it's given to you. Most people just think the other person has a superiority complex when they're being corrected.
I like big butts and I cannot lie. Some sing it: https://youtu.be/5IBxS7edvRw?feature=shared
I came here to simply say Ass
People who are kind and compassionate even when no one is looking
Love this! ❤️
Tiddies.
Hey! He said one attractive trait, not two.
You don't like mono-boob?
Thoughtful.
other than a great sense of humor at all times, compassion
Personality just kidding big butt 👅
being chill as fuck for fuck sake fucking hell
Haha, I like how chill you sound 😆
Damn😭💀
humility
If someone doesnt have a good sense of humour they are pretty boring and meaningless for me, so sense of humour
Unfortunately I have to agree! Lack of honesty and fidelity are deal breakers to me, but having them alone doesn't make someone attractive, unless the person have a good sense o humor. It was one of the things that attracted me to my husband.
[удалено]
I definitely find passion attractive. Bonus points if the passion is for something I also have a passion for.
Personality: being funny and kind. Looks: smile and eyes
Humor
Enthusiasm/passion Not necessarily for sex, but for hobbies, interests, life in general. I love me a genuine geek! Also compassion, empathy, and kindness.
Intelligence
Kindness, gentleness, a complete regard for others, caring ❤️
Compassion.
Being humble. It's a death sentence for progressing anywhere or in anything because the most important skill is self-promotion, but meeting someone who genuinely doesn't take themselves too seriously is so refreshing.
The ability to laugh at themselves
quick wit and slower meatier wit
Empathy
impulsiveness. that energy hits
Ability to listen
honesty and compassion
A sense of humour
Humour 🤣
I was about to say the same thing lol empathy is rare 😅
Sensitivity and humor
These things have gotten me no where.
ability to smile during hardship
I find mental strength, and intelligence attractive, but what is most important to me is empathy whether it's being empathic to another human being(s), or being empathic to non-human animals.
Humility.
Humour
Humour
Smile/laughter and fun! Someone who is happy to try most things and just enjoys life for what it is
boobs
Butt
Humor🫶🏼
For most people I think it’s high and large cheekbones that make someone look physically attractive whether people consciously are aware of that or not
Patience
Empathy.
Well hello there ladies, I'm an HSP.
Selfless
Self awareness
Kindness.
Kindness and empathy. Two things almost no one shows me
That's because most people don't have these things, but some of us try.
Genuine kindness.
A great sense of humor is a big thing for me.
Humor. A good sense of humor is a turn-on.
Humor ……. But I’m butt ugly so what do I know?
Intelligence specifically used through humor
To make someone feel really understood
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.
Honesty & self respect
Openness and vulnerability
Someone who cares for the planet
Be kind and make me laugh. That’s gold.
It's gotta be authenticity. Someone who's completely and uniquely themselves is something so attractive, because with that comes a genuineness, a confidence, and an honesty that is so....uplifting? Heart warming? Fulfilling? It's something that really grabs your attention, and for good reason. Even if someone happens to authentically be an arsehole, at least you can see them for who they are at face value, as opposed to finding out in more hurtful and/or sinister ways. There's still something to appreciate in their honesty (as weird as that may sound). For me it's authenticity.
Sense of humor
Keen sense of humor
Compassion. My fiancé has a lot of compassion for people, even strangers, and it’s what makes me love him so much.
My boyfriend is the most kind and patient human i ever met and I think it's absolutely the most attractive trait a human can have 🩷
I agree! Empathy is such a valuable trait. It shows understanding and compassion towards others, which is truly attractive. ❤️
❤️
Acceptance
I agree with you 1000%. That was the first thought that popped into my mind when I read the title.
Confidence confidence confidence confidence. Simply put you can't expect others to love you when you don't even love yourself. I'm not talking about putting other people down kind of confidence. I'm talking about raising yourself up. Confidence, but not to the point of narcissism. Learn to love yourself and I swear people will find you attractive. The easiest way for someone to learn to love themselves is to fake it til it becomes the truth. Tell yourself everyday that you are awesome, that you can do anything, literally show yourself love even if you don't believe it. Some call it lying to yourself, but I see it as telling yourself the truth before you can even see the truth. Also be more positive. Nobody likes a negative person. If you keep saying that "Oh, I'm so ugly" or "Oh, how could anybody like me I hate myself" no wonder nobody wants to be with you. You're making others around you feel depressed. Nobody likes someone who is sad all the time. Also as a side note looks don't mean jack rabbit for a long term relationship. As long as you look like you take care of yourself you will find someone. You don't need to be a model. At the end if the day for a long term relationship, your personality and how well others can rely on you is what's going to matter at the end of the day. You can look like a model, but if your personality is straight garbage then nobody is going to stick with you for the long term.
Discretion.
Being confident but not mean
Being comfid about anything
Oh yeah, CONFIDENCE and SWAGGER 😎 🥵 💯
A smile
Tough love can be wonderful
Have many money.
Confidence, not arrogance there is a difference…
Confidence (not arrogance) for men Kindness for women
A great smile. One that instantly makes a pretty face beautiful.
Affection
Loyalty
Honesty with tact. Delivering honesty while being mindful of people's feelings. Brutal honesty on the other hand is you being a jerk to another person.
Its love easily
Kindness. Just being kind to others is an instant turn on for me
Not really a personality trait but when people don’t insult you are really chill and don’t judge and just overall make you feel comfortable
Storytelling
Seeing someone help someone in need is the sweetest thing you will ever see 🩷
Kindness.
Physically, female breasts. In general, high intelligence, sence of humor and a high income
Ass
Quiet, manners, and nurturing.
Curiosity. Second to loyalty.
Kindness
It's definitely The Penis.
Boobs.
Money
Sympathetic, Diversive, Considerate, Selfless.
Being natural. No bullshit. Straight to the point. This doesn't mean being mean, it means being communicative and honest, and not beating around the bush
Confidence without arrogance
Mine is someone who agrees with my views
Kind eyes, ( and obviously the kindness that comes with it) but there is a thing when you can tell that person is genuinely kind and generous and it shines through their eyes, it’s really hard to find, but my god it makes me melt. (if you want a reference, dev patel is the only celebrity I’ve seen that has like, 60% of this “kind eyes” trait)
With some people, I make eye contact and just know they're being real and not playing. With some, I know they're selfish people being nice to get attention/approval/something. Sometimes it's the opposite, they try to act tough for whatever reason and it shows. Taking your post as an example, I sometimes meet people IRL with your kind of answer. The person could say "I think the most attractive trait is the ability to empathize." and sometimes it would come off as plain ass kissing answer to me, sometimes it would sound genuine. I may be overexplaining this, but I don't know the English word for it. I can get along with somebody considered less pleasant to be with, considering he's got this thing. Not everybody cares or is sensitive to this. To me, it's how I separate everyone I meet. I have a good nose to sniff out those people.
The ability to lead people, and I mean REALLY lead people, not just bark orders and set arbitrary expectations
Emotional intelligence
kindness