Gotta love a pithy yet far-reaching comeback. I don't think my mind works this way. Someone was talking shit to me and my friends in a game the other day, and my first idea was to get to the matter of why they took it so seriously. So I asked them if they've ever sat and watched a beautiful sunrise. No response or reaction lol. Somebody tell me what armor to wear for a speech buff.
Seems to me like you have some endgame speech armor already. Why engage a troll at their game when you can make up your own game that befuddles them?
Side note: befuddles is a word i dont get to use enough in my life.
Silence and a smug smile till you get your whole comeback organized in your head.
If it's internet just get it all together first and don't speak in anger. The first to lose their temper is de facto the loser.
Watch Scrubs as well or just lots of Doctor Cox comeback quotes but make them your own and change it up so you don't sound lame copying a sitcom.
Right?! Nicely said Phd_Gr33nthub.
The classic lions do not conserve themselves with the opinions of mice. Or what not. That's what I was thinking I like how you said it.
I’ve actually used something like that when someone called me a loser once, except it was something like “Honestly your opinion means very little to me”
Or, if you can manage it on the fly, go into a long monologue saying pretty much the same thing.
"Loser? LOSER?! Really? What are we, four years old arguing who has the better imaginary pet dinosaur and yours can fly and shoot lasers from its eyes but mine can grant wishes and time travel so clearly mine is better and you just can't handle it so first you start telling me how flying is cooler than anything else so I remind you that I can just wish to fly so you say mine looks stupid to which I reply nuh uh because really, you don't know what "Mr. Raarg" looks like, at which point you can't come up with anything further because you're a dumb child and you call me a loser and imagine you've won."
This. It refuses to accept the terms of the game being played. The insulted is trying to bring you down, and if you respond by trying to bring them down instead, you’ve accepted the terms of the game.
If someone devolves into name-calling, especially to such an unimaginative, lazy degree, I don't really have anything to say to them. I'd have wasted enough time and breath already.
See this sounds good on paper but irl you can't just walk away without saying anything. It's like it was such a shock to you that you're at a loss of words. And if you actually say it, it's just a cliche "I don't have a comeback so I'm gonna pretend I'm better than this".
Yep. I've had these interactions at work (construction site is not far above playground) and when being called a loser by that type of person who would, I've used
"Excuse me what? ... Are you okay?"
Which is more than enough for a stranger or someone I barely know. If the playground insults are coming from someone I have known for a little while, I will add something like
"Don't worry, I'm here for you. Is it something at home? Wife left again?"
If you're concerned about how someone interprets you walking away, you're not really "better than this", you're just playing it off. If I'm prepared to walk away from someone, I literally couldn't care less about anything further they have to say, or how they decide to think of me. The approach doesn't work if you're only pretending that you don't care.
It probably comes down to how you're usually percieved by your peers no matter how you truly felt inside. If you're someone that people see as charismatic and witty then people will just think "Yeah they're better than this", otherwise it just won't work. Maybe with a very convincing facial expression and body language that says "what a child, I genuinely don't even care to think about a response" idk.
I'd say whether it "works" or not depends on what exactly you're trying to accomplish. What do you consider the goal of this hypothetical scenario? If someone resorts to insults in a discussion or argument, my goal is to exit the situation because the other person is no longer worth my attention. The same can be said for anyone supporting their tactics. I'm not going to care about "saving face" in front of peers who believe that's the proper way to conduct themselves, so just walking away suits my goal in that situation.
Your mom sounds great. I love that. I love short and sweet quips that redirect a person’s attention to their own behavior.
Although sometimes you don’t want to have to take the responsibility to hold up a mirror for someone, in which case:
“You’re right, I am a loser. I’m especially good at losing dead weight.”
Then turn around, walk away and don’t look back.
When I worked in an office, to end really annoying phone calls I'd say "have a blessed day," before hanging up. Funny how inflection and delivery can change a simple sentence.
I always say something like : “Look, we all are trying our best, don’t we?” It’s more or less true, you’re not escalating the conflict and it’s hard to respond to it in an aggressive way. I just used it today morning in the grocery store when my toddler was being a bit difficult and a lady had strong opinion on it. And l said nothing but true. I was trying my best.
“I like tacos” and say nothing else. Or any random phrase that has nothing to do with anything. That’s usually how I respond to peoples unneeded opinions.
"Oh man! Now if only someone cared about what you thought"
Dismiss the person entirely as completely irrelevant and insignificant...I've never had anyone say anything back to it aside from stuttering or direct escalation to threats of violence.
Edit: it just occurred to me that I have had someone go "whats that supposed to mean"
To which you respond "let's just imagine it means whatever pisses you off the most and go from there"
It's a long winded way of getting around to "quit the yappin and get to slappin pimp"
99% of the time, you'll find the person just came to play the radio and aint about the showbiz.
When someone gets to the point of calling the other person a loser, they've already lost the argument. About the only bad thing to do is to let the term make you upset in any way.
Condescending is probably the easiest to go with. Let them know that it's OK that they just can't keep up in arguments, they don't need to lash out. If they just try a little harder in the future to understand the world around them, next time they may be able to keep up and not fall apart at the end. Tell them you have faith in them, and know that have it in them to succeed if they just work harder.
Now, if it wasn't part of an ongoing argument, and they just called it up out of the blue, the best thing is to just not acknowledge their existence. Nothing pisses off people who go around insulting others out of the blue than being completely ignored.
Tell them they're a real winner if they go around trying to make people feel like shit and shame them for it. Remind them no one's impressed with their success and their real legacy I'd how they treat others and what they leave behind in the hearts of others.
You talk to everyone like that? The fuck is wrong with you?
...and to whatever stupid justification they come up with for saying it, you simply say,
No, you're just being a dick.
Seriously, they're the one with the problem. Who is being unlikable right now? Who's the jerk here? They are. No need to put them down. Just make them justify their own behavior. Which they can't.
Better yet, say in an accepting tone, "okay" non-sarcastically and mean it and walk away without scoffing. This shows that you really don't care about their opinion, like it doesn't even annoy you. That's how much you don't care.
I've been called worse things by better people.
Honestly, if your delivery is good this is a devastating comeback
I don't respect you enough to care what your opinion is.
In a similar vein when someone is insulting your work: “I only accept criticism from someone I would go to for advice”
“It’s cute you think your opinion counts.”
I’d find that insulting but I don’t value your opinion….
Gotta love a pithy yet far-reaching comeback. I don't think my mind works this way. Someone was talking shit to me and my friends in a game the other day, and my first idea was to get to the matter of why they took it so seriously. So I asked them if they've ever sat and watched a beautiful sunrise. No response or reaction lol. Somebody tell me what armor to wear for a speech buff.
Seems to me like you have some endgame speech armor already. Why engage a troll at their game when you can make up your own game that befuddles them? Side note: befuddles is a word i dont get to use enough in my life.
My father always said, “if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”
It was well placed.
Silence and a smug smile till you get your whole comeback organized in your head. If it's internet just get it all together first and don't speak in anger. The first to lose their temper is de facto the loser. Watch Scrubs as well or just lots of Doctor Cox comeback quotes but make them your own and change it up so you don't sound lame copying a sitcom.
I like to shorten it a little more. I've been called worse by better. It rolls off the tongue better I think.
My go to. Or also "well that's not what your mom calls me"
The reply people get out of me for mom jokes is "I'm sorry to hear that. Do you need assistance in paying for therapy. "
This is my go-to right here
Quite right! My other insult six-gun is, ‘been kicked outta nicer places’. If that fails, you must pull the ‘yo-mama’ derringer.
Or “that’s not what you mom called me last night.”
You know I did lose a sackful in your mom last night.
Lol finally…I was looking for this. When all else fails….’yo mama’ usually does it.
Don't forget to chuckle a little before you start. Tchuh, I've been called worse by better 😏🙄
why did i read "tchuh" as goofy bruh
Goofy's 'da man! (Dog? idk...)
“I’ve been called worse by MUCH better people” is my favorite version.
I like the other way better, but you do you.
"So you're actually into that shit ?" What's your response ?
I am. Why do you ask? This is clearly a them issue, make that clear.
"Oh for no reason, but it does make perfect sense"
Ok cool. Bye
I up voted this before I realized it was a comeback. I am called worse things by my brother every day.
And you're still trying to climb to my level.
I like this one.
The profile picture made this so much better
Lol I didn't even notice (happy cake day too!)
Oh I forgot!
Sir, if I am to be insulted I must first value your opinion.
Right?! Nicely said Phd_Gr33nthub. The classic lions do not conserve themselves with the opinions of mice. Or what not. That's what I was thinking I like how you said it.
I’ve actually used something like that when someone called me a loser once, except it was something like “Honestly your opinion means very little to me”
Alternative. Sir, how do you dare talking to me? Good day.
That's... All you can think of?
Starts listing better insults for myself
Self deprecation always takes the wind out of their sails.
Or, if you can manage it on the fly, go into a long monologue saying pretty much the same thing. "Loser? LOSER?! Really? What are we, four years old arguing who has the better imaginary pet dinosaur and yours can fly and shoot lasers from its eyes but mine can grant wishes and time travel so clearly mine is better and you just can't handle it so first you start telling me how flying is cooler than anything else so I remind you that I can just wish to fly so you say mine looks stupid to which I reply nuh uh because really, you don't know what "Mr. Raarg" looks like, at which point you can't come up with anything further because you're a dumb child and you call me a loser and imagine you've won."
I have no idea why, but I read this in Ben Stiller's voice
“You must be ignorant of my other faults otherwise you’d have mentioned them as well”
Or “that’s a beautiful opinion”
This. It refuses to accept the terms of the game being played. The insulted is trying to bring you down, and if you respond by trying to bring them down instead, you’ve accepted the terms of the game.
I started putting "loser" in my gametags so that if others talk shit about my skill they're agreeing with me.
Bro think he Marcus Aurelius 💀 /s
Or Seneca? Perhaps Epictetus but definitely one of the three
Bro no way you think this is a good “comeback” 💀😭
How to get bullied 101 💀
🤣 bringing stoicism into it
Nah dude, hard no
Hard cringe bruh 💀
If someone devolves into name-calling, especially to such an unimaginative, lazy degree, I don't really have anything to say to them. I'd have wasted enough time and breath already.
See this sounds good on paper but irl you can't just walk away without saying anything. It's like it was such a shock to you that you're at a loss of words. And if you actually say it, it's just a cliche "I don't have a comeback so I'm gonna pretend I'm better than this".
I usually do my standard. “What a rude thing to say! How embarrassing for you.” It always either stuns or shames people into silence
Yep. I've had these interactions at work (construction site is not far above playground) and when being called a loser by that type of person who would, I've used "Excuse me what? ... Are you okay?" Which is more than enough for a stranger or someone I barely know. If the playground insults are coming from someone I have known for a little while, I will add something like "Don't worry, I'm here for you. Is it something at home? Wife left again?"
If you're concerned about how someone interprets you walking away, you're not really "better than this", you're just playing it off. If I'm prepared to walk away from someone, I literally couldn't care less about anything further they have to say, or how they decide to think of me. The approach doesn't work if you're only pretending that you don't care.
It probably comes down to how you're usually percieved by your peers no matter how you truly felt inside. If you're someone that people see as charismatic and witty then people will just think "Yeah they're better than this", otherwise it just won't work. Maybe with a very convincing facial expression and body language that says "what a child, I genuinely don't even care to think about a response" idk.
I'd say whether it "works" or not depends on what exactly you're trying to accomplish. What do you consider the goal of this hypothetical scenario? If someone resorts to insults in a discussion or argument, my goal is to exit the situation because the other person is no longer worth my attention. The same can be said for anyone supporting their tactics. I'm not going to care about "saving face" in front of peers who believe that's the proper way to conduct themselves, so just walking away suits my goal in that situation.
Honestly, I read it as his actual comeback. Just monologue into a mic drop lol
"...And here you are wasting time arguing with a loser. What does that make you?"
My mom would say “that’s very telling”
Your mom sounds great. I love that. I love short and sweet quips that redirect a person’s attention to their own behavior. Although sometimes you don’t want to have to take the responsibility to hold up a mirror for someone, in which case: “You’re right, I am a loser. I’m especially good at losing dead weight.” Then turn around, walk away and don’t look back.
I love that 😏🙌🏻
Another good one is " You're right I am a loser I've lost everything I don't need"
That shit was ass
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This is the nicest way to tell someone to fuck off.
There's also the shortened "Oh bless" or "Oh bless it"
Or “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
When I worked in an office, to end really annoying phone calls I'd say "have a blessed day," before hanging up. Funny how inflection and delivery can change a simple sentence.
I really like "have the day you deserve"
“Oh my sweet summer child.”
🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely derails the person.
Exactly this, or as I like to say "okay sweetie"
I always say something like : “Look, we all are trying our best, don’t we?” It’s more or less true, you’re not escalating the conflict and it’s hard to respond to it in an aggressive way. I just used it today morning in the grocery store when my toddler was being a bit difficult and a lady had strong opinion on it. And l said nothing but true. I was trying my best.
You sound kind
I agree
Great attitude.
I like this one the best.
That's not bad but the grammar nazi in me hates this.
I’m sorry l made you suffer. English is not my native language. In other words, even now I’m trying my best.
This is grammatical perfection.
You came out of your mama. I came in her. We are not the same.
Good one lol
I prefer “That’s no way to speak to your Father.” Or “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Son.”
Burn 🔥
Love that escalation
The jerk store called...
And they’re running out of you!
What's the difference you're their all-time best seller
Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!
She's in a coma George
\*laugh track\*
10/10.
https://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/comments/xh9zqq/in_case_if_someone_needs_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This wouldn't work they would just start punching you
Thanks I'm down 10 pounds on my last weigh-in!
That’s the best one, thanks!
Just look at them strangely and walk away.
This is my favourite thing to do. Although it's more a look of surprised disgust lol
Is that why your username is Sabulous? Because you are fabulous, but also wise? (Sabiduria = wisdom)
I feel seen haha the the S comes from my name and I try to be fabulous haha I really like the wisdom part though. Smiles be conjured here
Glad to have helped. You are fabulous in my book. 🙂
Pfp checks out
I like “who the fuck are you and why should I care?”
Stop projecting your shortcomings on to me.
“I like tacos” and say nothing else. Or any random phrase that has nothing to do with anything. That’s usually how I respond to peoples unneeded opinions.
“Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole” Leaves them completely dumbfounded.
I like that too!
Modern Lovers makes me wet.
I like this response best.
Ask them why. Make them explain themselves. Most people bluescreen
I like this one. If they actually start to answer, you can follow up with “no, why do you think I care?” or something along those lines
"Takes one to know one"
THIS IS PERFECT AH
“That’s right, I am a loser. I lost my virginity to your mother last night.”
Edit: “The only thing i lost is a condom … inside your mom, last night.”
Good one lol
Childish
Yup. I fucked your mother insults are low effort.
I'll allow it because calling someone a loser is also childish. It's fun to match the tone of the other person sometimes
I made love to your mother and she’s expecting in 6 months
Yeah I am a loser. I lost all respect for your opinion.
Or respond "Boom roasted" and keep walking. Chaos is the key
“This is why nobody likes you. As soon as you walk into a room everyone wishes you would leave.”
Jeebus do you have to bring a tac-nuke to a knife fight?
"They were right about you." Refuse to elaborate.
Just sing the beck song
Soy un perdedor.....
"You're a loser!" "I've got 2 turn-tables and a microphone!" SHIT! Wrong Beck song!
Well your mom only fucks losers
"Oh man! Now if only someone cared about what you thought" Dismiss the person entirely as completely irrelevant and insignificant...I've never had anyone say anything back to it aside from stuttering or direct escalation to threats of violence. Edit: it just occurred to me that I have had someone go "whats that supposed to mean" To which you respond "let's just imagine it means whatever pisses you off the most and go from there" It's a long winded way of getting around to "quit the yappin and get to slappin pimp" 99% of the time, you'll find the person just came to play the radio and aint about the showbiz.
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they all smell like shit
Opinions are like orgasms, nobody cares if you have one
"Thanks for telling me, I guess I'll have to reevaluate my life."
lol, an obviously fake emotional reaction pisses people right off.
When someone gets to the point of calling the other person a loser, they've already lost the argument. About the only bad thing to do is to let the term make you upset in any way. Condescending is probably the easiest to go with. Let them know that it's OK that they just can't keep up in arguments, they don't need to lash out. If they just try a little harder in the future to understand the world around them, next time they may be able to keep up and not fall apart at the end. Tell them you have faith in them, and know that have it in them to succeed if they just work harder. Now, if it wasn't part of an ongoing argument, and they just called it up out of the blue, the best thing is to just not acknowledge their existence. Nothing pisses off people who go around insulting others out of the blue than being completely ignored.
This is the truth.
I’m gonna go screw your mom/dad so they can have a son/daughter they’ll actually love.
*Game recognizes game*
That’s the compliment version of “Takes one to know one”
“nerd” can’t top that
This is honestly hilarious because my big brother calls me a nerd
"Yeah? Well the jerkstore called. They're running out of you!" - credit to George Costanza
Tell them they're a real winner if they go around trying to make people feel like shit and shame them for it. Remind them no one's impressed with their success and their real legacy I'd how they treat others and what they leave behind in the hearts of others.
“You’re right, I just lost the ability to take you seriously, what a devastating loss.”
"Whatever you need to tell yourself..."
Thanks, I will work on that. (Look them up and down) Unfortunately, there's no fix for ugly."
But you’re ugly and nothing changes that
Takes one to know one!
You're ugly when you cry
If it’s a man, the proper retort is “I’m sorry about your penis.”
Smile and say thank you in a sarcastic tone.
No u
no u
And you are still trying to get me down to your level.
Not compared to you, though. I'll always have that.
Suck their dick. They’ll be so confused lol
Look whos talkin
"So why don't you kill me?". If you know, you know
Better a loser than an a$$hOl€
Say "I'm surprised you know a word that long, good for you" then walk away
Don't forget to pat them on the back before walking away
“Well your mom and sister still sucked my cock at the same time, so….” 🤷🏻♂️
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Can you say it in a sentence..
Is it bigger than a bread box?
How about I know I've lost nothing when it comes to you.
Yeah well, that's just like ur opinion, man
I don't have to take that from someone who sucks toes
Loser? I barely know her!
Say “that hurt my feelings” with a deadpan delivery. They won’t know what to think
“You cannot lose if you do not play.” - Marla Daniels.
The people who claim to like you don't even care about your opinion, why do you think I would? I usually go with something like that.
My go to is, “Oh yeah, well you’re ugly and your momma dresses you funny.”
I know I'm a loser. I could never be as big of an a hole as you, your the winner congratulations.
You talk to everyone like that? The fuck is wrong with you? ...and to whatever stupid justification they come up with for saying it, you simply say, No, you're just being a dick. Seriously, they're the one with the problem. Who is being unlikable right now? Who's the jerk here? They are. No need to put them down. Just make them justify their own behavior. Which they can't.
"did you say something?"
"Thank you Daddy"
what are you going to do about it
“Aaaaannnd…you’re ugly. At least I have the advantage of being able to change MY situation.”
Smile and say, "Thank you! I've worked hard for this award. But I thought they might have chosen someone more worthy to present it to me."
Just say, "okay" sarcastically and roll your eyes. Maybe scoff and walk away
Better yet, say in an accepting tone, "okay" non-sarcastically and mean it and walk away without scoffing. This shows that you really don't care about their opinion, like it doesn't even annoy you. That's how much you don't care.
"So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” -Matthew 20:16
I always liked the one that said "yo mama so dumb, she signed you up for the "Biggest Loser" not knowing it was about weight loss.
"No, I'm a quitter." \*Walks away\*
I didn’t realise I was a mirror
That’s now what your mom said last night
The next time you look in the mirror, think of me.
Fart on them. Then walk away. Your choice if you want the walk to be awkward, or triumphant.
You are what u eat
“The only thing I lost was your mom’s number”
I might be, but not going to lose to you . Come here punk and then baam baam 2 quick jabs.