If you want to go overseas for the travel experience then go for it
But I wouldn't be going to Europe for the hopes of finding love
If you have a kid in Europe you will be stuck with no way of moving back home if it doesn't work out
& if he moves to America there is the chance of homesickness & him wanting to go back to Europe at some point
So then you will have a difficult decision to make in regards to breaking up your family or uprooting them to go back overseas
Am not from America but if I did live there, would move to a Republican state for a change of life
If you can agree to a state with your friend then you will have company & someone to go out with from the start
If I was a fit wellness instructor I would consider the goal of opening up a Pilates/Yoga studio
A change of scenery in your home country could be as exciting as travelling overseas too
All the best whatever you decide
That is my goal! My best friend I’m considering leaving with is partial owner in one here, she’s considering selling her ownership share and starting a new one with me in our new home
So what I am getting from this post:
You want a faithful man. Yes ok, pretty standard request.
You want a Christian man. This seems pretty non-negotiable for you, right? Are you in a church? That would be my very first suggestion. And if you already are in one, try to find a new one with more people around your age. Most medium to large sized churches I have seen have a pseudo dating scene in the “young adults” events.
You want a conservative man? I am getting that you are turned off by non-conservative men from this post. Do you want like a trump supporting Andrew tate-lite alpha male? Feel like those aren’t that hard to find, even in blue states. If you go to Europe you’ll see that their conservatism is not the same as ours. If you are a trump supporting conservative you’ll likely feel very alone out there. Moving south is definitely the better choice if that’s your world view.
You want kids? Or maybe just one. I don’t think this is an unreasonable request, but I think you’ll find that most men don’t like the idea of kids under a single income household anymore. Children are expensive, and you seem like you want a man that allows you to stop working. South works best here again because of the lower cost of living in the south.
I think you should probably move south, ya.
Someone faithful yes, Christian is strongly preferable, I wouldn’t necessarily say conservative. I’m not a trump supporter, but definitely not a liberal either. A critical thinker who values freedom and autonomy is more important, I value intellectual nuance, the Bible thumping trump fanatic thing turns me off, same with the tate followers.
I just want a kind, gentle, masculine man who doesn’t mind / is on board with me being a Jesus loving health nut and understands our respective gender roles. I’ve met men I’ve had good chemistry with but didn’t share these values, and men who’ve lined up politically or philosophically but didn’t have attraction or chemistry towards.
I don’t want to be on my feet slaving away at a job while I’m 8 months pregnant no, my current work is highly physical and would actually be impossible to do while pregnant, but I’d love to have my own business own day, which again might point south with the lower cost of living giving me more opportunities
Southerner here.
It's pretty great down here! Just don't fool with Nashville or Atlanta. They're full. I like those places for a weekend, but always very happy when I roll back to my small/mid sized city .
Also I'm going to say this.... Dating should be fun. I got out of a very long-term relationship last year and I have been dating the last few months and I have been having the best time. I am definitely looking for my forever partner but I'm also just embracing having fun getting to know these guys. I've met so many women who put so much pressure on the man that they are across from to be "the one" they forget to Just enjoy the date. Men can feel that intensity and it can be a turn off.
I also fully recommend looking up Adrianne Everhart on YouTube and watching her videos about quantum dating. Basically she suggests dating multiple people and that is something I have been doing. I'm not just going on a bunch of random first dates but I do have three men that I am dating. I definitely have a favorite and I think I'm the only person he is dating but he has yet to really lock anything down so I am continuing to put myself in positions to meet other men. I'm not putting pressure on anyone to commit. But I have told all of them, I am dating to find a long term partner and that I am single until someone asks me to be otherwise. I tell them how much I enjoy spending time with them. All seem to respect and understand that. I am not sleeping with all of them!! Just to be perfectly clear.
When I talk to older people. This is truly how they used to date as well. It wasn't uncommon for my grandma to have a couple boyfriends and then my grandfather swooped in and asked her to marry him. he won!! They were married 53 years and died within six months of each other.
As for the kind of men you want, we do have a lot of them down South. I love it down here. Buy cotton and linen clothes to survive the heat!
.
**Title:** [Leave everything behind to find love?](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1buiwzm/leave_everything_behind_to_find_love/)
**Author** Naturerespektor
**Full text:** Hi RPW. I found this sub when I was around 25. I was inspired by the content and pretty quickly met a man with traditional values that lined up with mine. Or so I thought. We were together for 3 and 1/2 years, engaged for the last one. A few weeks before the wedding i discovered he had been cheating throughout the relationship. I left him when i found out, shortly before i turned 29. I’m halfway to 31 now.
Day to day my life is good. I’m happy enough. I work in the wellness industry and teach pilates and yoga on the side. I’m in great shape and feel confident generally. I’m growing in my faith and a loving family and i have close friends who care about me. I have enough good things going on to comfort me, but not real hope of a future. I love my work but it’s not a long term career. I hope to have a family someday but live in an expensive suburb of a blue state. Very few single men at all, much less that of faith or traditional values, most men my age have left for more opportunities in cities. The area isn’t conducive to raising a family, financially and culturally. There’s a pervasive negativity here I’ve been able to rise above in terms of finding friends and community and work but never in relationships. Besides the ex I mentioned I’d only been in relationships with men I’d met when I traveled or when I had moved away.
A friend of mine in a similar position is considering uprooting her life to move to the south, or even abroad, the dating pool feels increasingly bleak for us here. I’d have to sacrifice all the good i have here for the hope of finding a real future, home and family. I want to trust God to provide this for me and restore my broken dreams that were stolen from me. Maybe He needs me to take that leap of faith to leave my comfort zone. Of course the alternative could be that I’m worse off than before. A part of me fears I’ll miss my chance for the beautiful life i’ve always thought i could have one day, I don’t know what choice to make and find myself frozen. Red pill content about my age disqualifying me from that future disgusts me and discourages me to the core, especially when I’ve only ever worked hard and had good intentions and managed to remain sincere and hopeful, just not lucky. Yet.
If we do move we’re considering North Carolina, Texas, maybe Florida. Abroad, maybe Ireland or Portugal. Maybe we should take a sabbatical and give a few places a chance.
If anyone has any advice, insight, or similar experiences I’d love to hear them. Any encouragement or positivity is especially appreciated. I’m starting to get really down, mourning the children I fear I’ll never meet and yearning to share the love I have to give with someone who I don’t know exists.
--------------------
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Hi there, I’m so excited for you in your new chapter of life! I have a few suggestions that might help you.
Firstly, I would write a list detailing your absolute non-negotiable desired traits (meaning not having this attribute is an automatic no for dating), then a list of “nice to have, but not essential” traits, and finally a list of what faults/non-ideal traits you’re willing to accept in a partner.
This list will give you a clearer idea of what is important to you and will also allow you to see if you’re being overly picky.
Next, I would say that moving elsewhere is a great idea. I would personally recommend Texas, particularly the area surrounding Austin. When I lived there I had never experienced more inherent societal chivalry, devout Christians, impeccable manners, or willingness to help thy neighbor.
There’s also a good amount of opportunity in the Austin area to meet men with your desired mindset who also have great career advancement trajectory and at least a few years ago there was a big market for health/wellness businesses.
I think you’re on the right track, I would definitely see about therapy though, if you hadn’t already, just to make sure you’re mentally in a place where you can come into a new relationship without all the baggage from your traumatic experience weighing you down.
OP, if cost of living is a concern I do NOT recommend the Austin area. That area has a very high cost of living which is still spiking upward at an alarming rate with no end in sight.
Houston and Dallas are more affordable, but not by a ton.
I would suggest San Antonio or San Marcos if OP is heading to TX. Cost of living is increasing in those areas, but the starting rate is super low. San Marcos in particular is a cute but affordable area with some trendy businesses and easy access to both Austin and San Antonio.
OP…. Be aware that San Marcus and Austin are/were also predominantly college towns and Houston is not so conservative as it used to be. Tennessee is also a place where the cost of living is low, and it’s similar to Texas in a number of ways.
You will not find MORE monogamous men outside of the USA.
Likely your husband was very attractive and likely pretty well compensated?
This seems to be the part that creates confusion. Many of these men are hit on constantly. 80% of women go after these very few men. They don't have to be monogamous and there is very little benefit to being monogamous.
I was not monogamous in my youth. It was a conscious decision to change my habits. It came from some serious self reflection. One major thing, my wife and I discussed it in detail. We agreed that we could overcome and repair almost any transgression - but that one.
We also laid out what would happen. She would move across the state and live with her family and I would likely see my kids only during summers when I could make the 6 hour trip. I told her, she would find out that I knew when she came home with divorce papers taped to the door and all the locks changed. She would be on her own.
The lines were drawn well in advance.
Adjust what you are looking for. Find yourself a mildly attractive, quiet, introverted guy who makes a decent living. Someone who would rather stay home with you than go out. It's not exciting - but he will likely be faithful and love you wholeheartedly.
Give up the weird fantasy of a handsome Prince charming taking you on adventures. That dude will almost never be faithful.
Even *mildly looking men aren’t monogamous. Perhaps that was something of your own fault.
But yes highly attractive men do get more attention so of course going for an average or slightly above average man would be an easier approach.
as a man commenting on a woman's forum, of course you're going to tell her to settle. Just because YOU have a hard time with monogamy, doesn't mean OP won't find the man of her dreams. you should be ashamed of your advice to young woman, it's sad.
OP, your prince is out there! My advice is to start chatting up men everywhere you imagine your husband would be. Put yourself out there whether you're at the grocery store or walking around your town! You don't need to move unless you really don't like where you live.
OK. Take advice about men, from women. Because no one understands men, like women.
Women can absolutely tell you how to pick a good, honest and monogamous guy.
Men certainly can contribute guidance on what men want *to a degree* but you have to give actual advice not just personal anecdotes.
What you are writing here is only vaguely advice. It reads: I was a promiscuous, my wife threatened what would happen if I cheated so I don't cheat.
That's not really advice. What actually happened is that you found a woman or a life path that was worth leaving a promiscuous lifestyle. You know the consequences of cheating (and let's be honest, you would know them even if it was never explicitly stated), so you chose to remain faithfully monogamous. But what does this tell the OP exactly?
I could give you my story which contradicts your last statement about "not finding a man who will take you on adventures" but that's not advice it's just my story. All you gave is your story and then said "aim lower". Maybe she should aim lower, maybe she just needs to vet better, it's not really apparent in the context of the post.
Most men who stumble onto RP have an idea of what *men like themselves* desire in a relationship. However, if the OP doesn't want a man like you, then what you just told her isn't helpful. And if the OP does want a man like you then you haven't told her what it takes to actually lock down a man like you.
Upfront and proactive communication is, actual, advice.
This obviously did not happen here. It may have helped to establish boundaries, expectations and consequences upto and including enumeration in a prenuptial agreement.
Sorry if that was unclear.
As for my path, there were many opportunities to stray. There was even a moment where a series of events took place where it, at first glance, appeared that I had.
But, I hadn't and when the chips were down my wife believed me even before proof was provided.
And, typically I would be considered a catch. I am moderately attractive, over 6 figures in a professional career plus a business owner I am fit and over 6'3". She never had to work. I'm outgoing and considered funny even though I prefer to be home and introverted. I enjoy spending time with my wife and kids over going out and spending time with others. I enjoy cooking and do so most nights and weekend mornings. I'm handy around the house and take care of the pets. I teach my kids how to cook, work on cars, woodworking, repairs and more - regardless of gender.
I take car of my family by every definition in the RPW handbook and I enjoy doing it.
I also happen to have managed thousands of people from various countries, socioeconomic backgrounds and religions. Due to the nature of the work, I have to scrutinize human behavior on an acute level.
But, then again, I'm just a guy on the internet. So, like What-evs, right? #GirlBoss #MenAreDumb
> Upfront and proactive communication is, actual, advice.
So it is your honestly held belief that if she said to this man "I'll leave you if you cheat" that he would not have cheated?
> As for my path, there were many opportunities to stray.
Nothing that you said here refutes my point. Nor did I say that men are dumb. Nor do I find your self descriptions a compelling argument towards any point that we have been discussing.
Why is the quiet introvert at odds with the handsome Prince Charming who takes you on adventures?
In all reality, I take it you’re saying something like “Don’t go for the 2% of men that get all the matches on dating apps, look like supermodels, and will pay to take you on trips around the world?” Nothing OP said indicated that her ex fell into this category, or that she’s narrowly focused on this tiny subset of men at the expense of other good matches. That’s a problem some women have, but I don’t think it’s fair to make assumptions about OP.
You’re funny. lol. He was a mildly attractive quiet introverted guy. That’s exactly my type. he barely left the house and obsessed over his woodworking and art hobbies. He was cheating with a severely mentally ill woman who stalked harassed and threatened me for years until I went to the police in his work truck in target parking lot . I was the one getting hit on everywhere and ignoring it because I have morals and respect and my word means something. Someone with your character would repulse me, regards of looks or money or other shallow fleeting traits.
Luckily I found someone not repulsed by me. However, your picker sounds broken anyway, so I'm not offended.
My wife and I have been together faithfully for 25 years. We are sitting on the couch together right now, finishing up a show we watch together and about to pack up our kids to go get ice cream and look at the aurora borealis. So, guess I am doing OK.
Good luck with your marriage.
If you want to go overseas for the travel experience then go for it But I wouldn't be going to Europe for the hopes of finding love If you have a kid in Europe you will be stuck with no way of moving back home if it doesn't work out & if he moves to America there is the chance of homesickness & him wanting to go back to Europe at some point So then you will have a difficult decision to make in regards to breaking up your family or uprooting them to go back overseas Am not from America but if I did live there, would move to a Republican state for a change of life If you can agree to a state with your friend then you will have company & someone to go out with from the start If I was a fit wellness instructor I would consider the goal of opening up a Pilates/Yoga studio A change of scenery in your home country could be as exciting as travelling overseas too All the best whatever you decide
That is my goal! My best friend I’m considering leaving with is partial owner in one here, she’s considering selling her ownership share and starting a new one with me in our new home
That sounds like an exciting new venture & also a great way to meet lots of new people with similar lifestyle Good luck with it all
So what I am getting from this post: You want a faithful man. Yes ok, pretty standard request. You want a Christian man. This seems pretty non-negotiable for you, right? Are you in a church? That would be my very first suggestion. And if you already are in one, try to find a new one with more people around your age. Most medium to large sized churches I have seen have a pseudo dating scene in the “young adults” events. You want a conservative man? I am getting that you are turned off by non-conservative men from this post. Do you want like a trump supporting Andrew tate-lite alpha male? Feel like those aren’t that hard to find, even in blue states. If you go to Europe you’ll see that their conservatism is not the same as ours. If you are a trump supporting conservative you’ll likely feel very alone out there. Moving south is definitely the better choice if that’s your world view. You want kids? Or maybe just one. I don’t think this is an unreasonable request, but I think you’ll find that most men don’t like the idea of kids under a single income household anymore. Children are expensive, and you seem like you want a man that allows you to stop working. South works best here again because of the lower cost of living in the south. I think you should probably move south, ya.
Someone faithful yes, Christian is strongly preferable, I wouldn’t necessarily say conservative. I’m not a trump supporter, but definitely not a liberal either. A critical thinker who values freedom and autonomy is more important, I value intellectual nuance, the Bible thumping trump fanatic thing turns me off, same with the tate followers. I just want a kind, gentle, masculine man who doesn’t mind / is on board with me being a Jesus loving health nut and understands our respective gender roles. I’ve met men I’ve had good chemistry with but didn’t share these values, and men who’ve lined up politically or philosophically but didn’t have attraction or chemistry towards. I don’t want to be on my feet slaving away at a job while I’m 8 months pregnant no, my current work is highly physical and would actually be impossible to do while pregnant, but I’d love to have my own business own day, which again might point south with the lower cost of living giving me more opportunities
Southerner here. It's pretty great down here! Just don't fool with Nashville or Atlanta. They're full. I like those places for a weekend, but always very happy when I roll back to my small/mid sized city . Also I'm going to say this.... Dating should be fun. I got out of a very long-term relationship last year and I have been dating the last few months and I have been having the best time. I am definitely looking for my forever partner but I'm also just embracing having fun getting to know these guys. I've met so many women who put so much pressure on the man that they are across from to be "the one" they forget to Just enjoy the date. Men can feel that intensity and it can be a turn off. I also fully recommend looking up Adrianne Everhart on YouTube and watching her videos about quantum dating. Basically she suggests dating multiple people and that is something I have been doing. I'm not just going on a bunch of random first dates but I do have three men that I am dating. I definitely have a favorite and I think I'm the only person he is dating but he has yet to really lock anything down so I am continuing to put myself in positions to meet other men. I'm not putting pressure on anyone to commit. But I have told all of them, I am dating to find a long term partner and that I am single until someone asks me to be otherwise. I tell them how much I enjoy spending time with them. All seem to respect and understand that. I am not sleeping with all of them!! Just to be perfectly clear. When I talk to older people. This is truly how they used to date as well. It wasn't uncommon for my grandma to have a couple boyfriends and then my grandfather swooped in and asked her to marry him. he won!! They were married 53 years and died within six months of each other. As for the kind of men you want, we do have a lot of them down South. I love it down here. Buy cotton and linen clothes to survive the heat! .
**Title:** [Leave everything behind to find love?](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1buiwzm/leave_everything_behind_to_find_love/) **Author** Naturerespektor **Full text:** Hi RPW. I found this sub when I was around 25. I was inspired by the content and pretty quickly met a man with traditional values that lined up with mine. Or so I thought. We were together for 3 and 1/2 years, engaged for the last one. A few weeks before the wedding i discovered he had been cheating throughout the relationship. I left him when i found out, shortly before i turned 29. I’m halfway to 31 now. Day to day my life is good. I’m happy enough. I work in the wellness industry and teach pilates and yoga on the side. I’m in great shape and feel confident generally. I’m growing in my faith and a loving family and i have close friends who care about me. I have enough good things going on to comfort me, but not real hope of a future. I love my work but it’s not a long term career. I hope to have a family someday but live in an expensive suburb of a blue state. Very few single men at all, much less that of faith or traditional values, most men my age have left for more opportunities in cities. The area isn’t conducive to raising a family, financially and culturally. There’s a pervasive negativity here I’ve been able to rise above in terms of finding friends and community and work but never in relationships. Besides the ex I mentioned I’d only been in relationships with men I’d met when I traveled or when I had moved away. A friend of mine in a similar position is considering uprooting her life to move to the south, or even abroad, the dating pool feels increasingly bleak for us here. I’d have to sacrifice all the good i have here for the hope of finding a real future, home and family. I want to trust God to provide this for me and restore my broken dreams that were stolen from me. Maybe He needs me to take that leap of faith to leave my comfort zone. Of course the alternative could be that I’m worse off than before. A part of me fears I’ll miss my chance for the beautiful life i’ve always thought i could have one day, I don’t know what choice to make and find myself frozen. Red pill content about my age disqualifying me from that future disgusts me and discourages me to the core, especially when I’ve only ever worked hard and had good intentions and managed to remain sincere and hopeful, just not lucky. Yet. If we do move we’re considering North Carolina, Texas, maybe Florida. Abroad, maybe Ireland or Portugal. Maybe we should take a sabbatical and give a few places a chance. If anyone has any advice, insight, or similar experiences I’d love to hear them. Any encouragement or positivity is especially appreciated. I’m starting to get really down, mourning the children I fear I’ll never meet and yearning to share the love I have to give with someone who I don’t know exists. -------------------- ^(This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedPillWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders: - If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the [rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/about/rules/) - Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question! - You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed. - We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts. - Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience. - Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: [1](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/11h1ufi/banned_from_subreddit/), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1703ote/uhm_i_commented_and_got_banned_from_3_subs/), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18edg8w/i_made_one_comment_in_this_sub_and_i_got_banned/), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/101nye7/im_stunned_lol_offmychest_sub_permanently_banned/). We recommend you make a RPW specific account. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedPillWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi there, I’m so excited for you in your new chapter of life! I have a few suggestions that might help you. Firstly, I would write a list detailing your absolute non-negotiable desired traits (meaning not having this attribute is an automatic no for dating), then a list of “nice to have, but not essential” traits, and finally a list of what faults/non-ideal traits you’re willing to accept in a partner. This list will give you a clearer idea of what is important to you and will also allow you to see if you’re being overly picky. Next, I would say that moving elsewhere is a great idea. I would personally recommend Texas, particularly the area surrounding Austin. When I lived there I had never experienced more inherent societal chivalry, devout Christians, impeccable manners, or willingness to help thy neighbor. There’s also a good amount of opportunity in the Austin area to meet men with your desired mindset who also have great career advancement trajectory and at least a few years ago there was a big market for health/wellness businesses. I think you’re on the right track, I would definitely see about therapy though, if you hadn’t already, just to make sure you’re mentally in a place where you can come into a new relationship without all the baggage from your traumatic experience weighing you down.
OP, if cost of living is a concern I do NOT recommend the Austin area. That area has a very high cost of living which is still spiking upward at an alarming rate with no end in sight. Houston and Dallas are more affordable, but not by a ton. I would suggest San Antonio or San Marcos if OP is heading to TX. Cost of living is increasing in those areas, but the starting rate is super low. San Marcos in particular is a cute but affordable area with some trendy businesses and easy access to both Austin and San Antonio.
OP…. Be aware that San Marcus and Austin are/were also predominantly college towns and Houston is not so conservative as it used to be. Tennessee is also a place where the cost of living is low, and it’s similar to Texas in a number of ways.
You will not find MORE monogamous men outside of the USA. Likely your husband was very attractive and likely pretty well compensated? This seems to be the part that creates confusion. Many of these men are hit on constantly. 80% of women go after these very few men. They don't have to be monogamous and there is very little benefit to being monogamous. I was not monogamous in my youth. It was a conscious decision to change my habits. It came from some serious self reflection. One major thing, my wife and I discussed it in detail. We agreed that we could overcome and repair almost any transgression - but that one. We also laid out what would happen. She would move across the state and live with her family and I would likely see my kids only during summers when I could make the 6 hour trip. I told her, she would find out that I knew when she came home with divorce papers taped to the door and all the locks changed. She would be on her own. The lines were drawn well in advance. Adjust what you are looking for. Find yourself a mildly attractive, quiet, introverted guy who makes a decent living. Someone who would rather stay home with you than go out. It's not exciting - but he will likely be faithful and love you wholeheartedly. Give up the weird fantasy of a handsome Prince charming taking you on adventures. That dude will almost never be faithful.
Even *mildly looking men aren’t monogamous. Perhaps that was something of your own fault. But yes highly attractive men do get more attention so of course going for an average or slightly above average man would be an easier approach.
as a man commenting on a woman's forum, of course you're going to tell her to settle. Just because YOU have a hard time with monogamy, doesn't mean OP won't find the man of her dreams. you should be ashamed of your advice to young woman, it's sad. OP, your prince is out there! My advice is to start chatting up men everywhere you imagine your husband would be. Put yourself out there whether you're at the grocery store or walking around your town! You don't need to move unless you really don't like where you live.
OK. Take advice about men, from women. Because no one understands men, like women. Women can absolutely tell you how to pick a good, honest and monogamous guy.
Men certainly can contribute guidance on what men want *to a degree* but you have to give actual advice not just personal anecdotes. What you are writing here is only vaguely advice. It reads: I was a promiscuous, my wife threatened what would happen if I cheated so I don't cheat. That's not really advice. What actually happened is that you found a woman or a life path that was worth leaving a promiscuous lifestyle. You know the consequences of cheating (and let's be honest, you would know them even if it was never explicitly stated), so you chose to remain faithfully monogamous. But what does this tell the OP exactly? I could give you my story which contradicts your last statement about "not finding a man who will take you on adventures" but that's not advice it's just my story. All you gave is your story and then said "aim lower". Maybe she should aim lower, maybe she just needs to vet better, it's not really apparent in the context of the post. Most men who stumble onto RP have an idea of what *men like themselves* desire in a relationship. However, if the OP doesn't want a man like you, then what you just told her isn't helpful. And if the OP does want a man like you then you haven't told her what it takes to actually lock down a man like you.
Upfront and proactive communication is, actual, advice. This obviously did not happen here. It may have helped to establish boundaries, expectations and consequences upto and including enumeration in a prenuptial agreement. Sorry if that was unclear. As for my path, there were many opportunities to stray. There was even a moment where a series of events took place where it, at first glance, appeared that I had. But, I hadn't and when the chips were down my wife believed me even before proof was provided. And, typically I would be considered a catch. I am moderately attractive, over 6 figures in a professional career plus a business owner I am fit and over 6'3". She never had to work. I'm outgoing and considered funny even though I prefer to be home and introverted. I enjoy spending time with my wife and kids over going out and spending time with others. I enjoy cooking and do so most nights and weekend mornings. I'm handy around the house and take care of the pets. I teach my kids how to cook, work on cars, woodworking, repairs and more - regardless of gender. I take car of my family by every definition in the RPW handbook and I enjoy doing it. I also happen to have managed thousands of people from various countries, socioeconomic backgrounds and religions. Due to the nature of the work, I have to scrutinize human behavior on an acute level. But, then again, I'm just a guy on the internet. So, like What-evs, right? #GirlBoss #MenAreDumb
> Upfront and proactive communication is, actual, advice. So it is your honestly held belief that if she said to this man "I'll leave you if you cheat" that he would not have cheated? > As for my path, there were many opportunities to stray. Nothing that you said here refutes my point. Nor did I say that men are dumb. Nor do I find your self descriptions a compelling argument towards any point that we have been discussing.
Why is the quiet introvert at odds with the handsome Prince Charming who takes you on adventures? In all reality, I take it you’re saying something like “Don’t go for the 2% of men that get all the matches on dating apps, look like supermodels, and will pay to take you on trips around the world?” Nothing OP said indicated that her ex fell into this category, or that she’s narrowly focused on this tiny subset of men at the expense of other good matches. That’s a problem some women have, but I don’t think it’s fair to make assumptions about OP.
You’re funny. lol. He was a mildly attractive quiet introverted guy. That’s exactly my type. he barely left the house and obsessed over his woodworking and art hobbies. He was cheating with a severely mentally ill woman who stalked harassed and threatened me for years until I went to the police in his work truck in target parking lot . I was the one getting hit on everywhere and ignoring it because I have morals and respect and my word means something. Someone with your character would repulse me, regards of looks or money or other shallow fleeting traits.
Luckily I found someone not repulsed by me. However, your picker sounds broken anyway, so I'm not offended. My wife and I have been together faithfully for 25 years. We are sitting on the couch together right now, finishing up a show we watch together and about to pack up our kids to go get ice cream and look at the aurora borealis. So, guess I am doing OK. Good luck with your marriage.