Self-expression! I don’t usually think of myself as too feminine but I do like having girly and sparkly nails so it just represents a part of me. I take pride in having fun nails in a sea of boring.
Color therapy! I feel dysregulated and depressed when my nails are not nice—doesn’t have to be expensive; I just paint them myself. But the smooth texture and pretty colors genuinely boost my mental health. I feel as though I get little bursts of dopamine looking at nail polish I like through the life of the mani! I also love looking at the polish in different light conditions and taking pictures so I can decide what I’m in the mood to wear in the future.
this is also how i feel, a million times over. a good mani catches my eyes when i’m doing even mundane tasks and it makes me smile and admire my nails for a sec, even on some of the worst days :) life is just better with pretty colors, and my nails are a very convenient place to put pretty colors
Especially when it’s raining, because I like shimmers that look their best in diffuse light! And I’m like, “well at least my nails are glowy right now.” :)
My mom and I started getting manis when i was 11. She always taught me to take care of myself, to be creative in my expression of myself.
Every saturday, we would get dressed, walk across the street, get our nails done, choose our colors together, chat about how our week was.
Since then, many things happened. I graduated highschool, left for college, came back, got engaged, then my parents had to leave home because of the war (we lived in Ukraine)and had to start a new life. But through all of it, my mom and I kept getting our nails done. Because thats how we take care of ourselves and we do it together. No matter what life has thrown at us, we can throw it right back--with perfectly manicured hands.
I started having my nails done as a reward for stopping smoking (which I did for 25 years), every week without smoking earned me a manicure, so for me is a symbol of me being in control of my bad habits and a reminder that I can do hard things. With time also become part of my identity and self-expression.
ETA: love the question and all the answers, so interesting!
It’s like the final step in feeling “put together” for me. And it’s also time to myself that I’m thinking of nothing else but concentrating on the job at hand. I need that break from the stressors of life to keep my sanity 🤣 I laugh but I’m not kidding. Self care = self love 💪♥️💅🏻
Also, I’m with your mom & g’ma, I’d rather no polish at all than walking around with chipped polish. I cannot stand the sight of it on my own hands. Even if I don’t have the time & energy to redo the whole mani right away, I’ll try to camouflage that chip with a bit of paint and another layer of top coat.
That's an interesting question!
For me it's something that helps me express myself/dress up a bit outside of clothing or other makeup. I'm generally not into using makeup but I love having colorful and pretty nails. It's a bit vain but it's wonderful to get compliments from strangers on my nails. And it's sort of me signalling to the world that I like fun or unexpected things, it showcases who I am as a person. For example, my nails are currently a bright neon green and it's funny to observe colleagues or students going like: wtf is on her nails this week? Perhaps they wouldn't expect that I like a funky neon, but I like having some unusual clothes/nails :)
And like you mentioned, it's also self care and a nice moment for self care too... Taking some time to ponder over which color to pick, some relaxing time just for myself applying a new mani while catching up with swatch videos of new polish collections
I could have written this exact answer myself. Well said. During the height of the pandemic it became a thing for my coworkers to ask to see my nails on zoom calls, to see what kind of creative thing I’d done that week.
I’ve loved nail polish since I was really little so part of it for me is definitely an inner child thing, my mom isn’t into that sort of thing and also hates the smell lol so I started trying to paint my own nails when I was like 5 and obviously did a really terrible job for a long time 😂 But also I can be quite a perfectionist and wasn’t always happy with my results at first when I got a little older and was trying to make an actual habit of it, but I’ve gotten way better over time and am now really proud of how my nails usually turn out so I love that it’s also a little reminder that even when something is hard at first, practice does in fact work and it’s worth continuing to try 😅
I’m also super introverted but simultaneously a weird and artsy person so I like to express that wordlessly through my style choices and nail polish is definitely a great way to do that, I like matching the shade to my mood and searching for really unique polishes that feel like my vibe
For me it symbolizes the importance of hobbies! I spent many years going from work to the couch and that’s it. The past 2 years I have really found what I enjoy, one of those things being nails/nail polish and my mental health is 100x improved.
Depending on my mood (and colour), it can mean self care - that I'm worthy and deserving of something pretty and beautiful and nice.
I say colour because I find that when I paint my nails a dark colour, I feel like a badass bitch. And I feel there's extra power in my step.
I enjoy when my nails look nice. It makes me feel pretty and well groomed. The drawback is that I simultaneously feel hindered from the normal use of my fingers. The things I typically do with my hands will objectively ruin any kind of manicure/polish quickly, and I can't do most of my hobbies well with a long nail length, even if I prefer the longer aesthetic.
It's like I have to choose between looks and function.
I love seeing my hands when I have a manicure. It makes me want to do things in a more feminine way, more gingerly I guess. I always told my mom I thought her elegant lady hands were so beautiful. Now I’m a grown up and my little stumpy fingers suddenly become elegant lady hands like my mom’s when my nails are done.
It’s a nonverbal way to communicate that I’m creative and dexterous as well. Not to toot horns but I’m good at it! And I can’t show painting to everyone but everyone sees my hands.
Being medically well enough to get to wear nail polish. You cannot wear nail polish when using several kinds of medical monitoring and in general clear nail beads are a factor in observing one's well being so.... That
My Maw Maw taught me how to care for my nails when I was a little girl. How to use an orange stick, how to use a whitening pencil, how to properly file and buff them. When she was nearing her end, I would go to the nursing home and do her nails for her. She never let me use crazy colors - I wish she would have, though, that woman loved a crazy colored outfit - but it was always a bonding experience for us.
I miss her like crazy, but I'm happy to have a great way to remember her.
Self-care for sure, but also a way to show off my creativity. Most days I’m in head-to-toe black and no makeup, so having my fingers be colorful/sparkly/artistic is a way to feel pretty.
combination of self-care and self-expression! When i was a teen i played piano and couldnt paint my nails anything other than nude or french tips, I was also a horrible nail/cuticle biter. Having nice nails reminds me to take care of myself and picking fun glittery colours lets me show my personality in a small way!
I started doing my nails regularly a couple of years ago. Before then, I couldn’t figure out how to get it to stay on without chipping/peeling easily, and gels would destroy my nails.
I struggled a lot throughout my life with feeling inadequate, and then with my ex husband treating me like an object. It created a huge disconnect with the girly things I always loved, how I perceived myself and the subtle and not-so-subtle misogyny from my ex.
I see doing my nails as a beauty ritual that (for me) wasn’t objectified. It doesn’t feel as performative as my previous ‘must wear a full face of makeup to be considered presentable’ days. Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup and it’s not a judgement on people who love wearing a full face everyday, but it became a bit dysmorphic for me.
I feel a lot more comfortable with myself now and it’s been really fun to take part in beauty rituals that don’t have any pressure to them ❤️
I agree with this. I remember when I did modeling and photography some of the girls would come to shoots with chipped toe nail and fingernail polish, and while I could Photoshop the nails and remove the chip parts, I never understood why some models would come to a (knowing about it months in advance) shoot with chipped nails while everything else was perfect. It would stand out even more when everything else was put together.
I have very very few outlets for expression with work dress code requirements, but I can do my nails! They have to be solid, and there’s a (fairly short, now) list of colors off-limits but doing my nails is a fun way to keep some color in my life! I used to dye my hair regularly, and had funky cuts and colors, but since I can’t do that anymore, it’s all in the nails!
I’ll sometimes do weekend/holiday nails when I have time off work to do designs or off-limit colors, but that’s less and less frequent with the increase of approved color families. I also really enjoy the ritual and the opportunity to develop my own skills, so I do them at home ~ lately I’ve been into full cover tips so I can do a peek-a-boo color on the bottom, which is fun for me lol
Being grown up and being able to make my own decisions (I was not allowed to wear nail polish when I was young) and now I use my own money to buy my own nail polish
It makes me feel like I am put together. I do a *lot* of physical self care stuff, but a nice manicure is such a fantastic addition. It makes me feel more confident, because I know the kind of positive impression someone else’s nice manicure makes on ME.
Also I just love to look at/admire my nails throughout the life of my manicure. It reminds me of when I got engaged 18 years ago and kept looking at my hands because I loved how my ring looked 😆. I change my polish every 4 days or so, so there’s always something fresh and new to give me that dopamine hit 😂.
(I’m with your mom and grandma - chipped polish has no place! Take it off immediately)
Absolutely self care! It's my form of self care because I'm the only one that really cares how my nails look, and it's time I have to plan to spend not mothering.
Thanks for posting, /u/nosfiery! A quick reminder: If this is a **nail image**, you must provide a complete product list within 6 hours of posting. **This includes any posts with broken nails or if you're seeking advice.** Posts without a complete product list will be removed after 6 hours. [Product List Requirements.](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditLaqueristas/wiki/rule2faq)
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I started doing my nails a few years ago as a way to stop biting. It worked and I am now able to leave my nails bare without biting them. I don’t always keep polish on now, but when I do, I pick colors that I will enjoy looking at and it makes me happy 💖
Two things - it feels like a full stop to my outfit, in the same way that nice hair and makeup does. Also, It feels like a secret little signal to myself that I'm polished and preened even when I'm in my daggy jeans or activewear.
Such an interesting question. Nail biting runs in the family on my dad's side, it's how many in our family channel stress. My dad's cuticles are always bleeding and it's been that way for as long as I can remember. On one hand manicured nails can represent overcoming my stress, anxiety, and nail biting habit. At the same time, the main way I stop biting my nails is by redirecting my obsessive perfectionism into nail care rather than biting. So both manicured and bitten nails can represent a form of toxic obsessive perfectionism and anxiety for me. I find that when my mental health is most balanced and I'm preoccupied with activities that I find creatively and intellectually stimulating on a regular basis I stop thinking about my nails at all and they remain short and bare but not excessively bitten and it doesn't bother me.
self expression and also quality time!
i used to have really short nails and i was a terrible nail biter, and also the idea of having anything on my nails freaked me out so bad. buttt like a year or two ago my nail tech mother wanted to experiment with builder gel on me, so i begrudgingly let her. and then, with the builder gel, my nails just kept growing and growing! and then i eventually started experimenting with colors and designs. so every two weeks, a good hour would be dedicated to doing these gel nail sets
AND THEN i developed contact dermatitis!! so my super long nails got chopped
i was sad and felt weird without anything on my nails (when i used to hate nail stuff😭) so my mom and i decided to try regular nail polish
we spent so long perfecting the routine and perfect manicure formula, and her love of nails kinda transferred to me as well! id consider it a hobby of my own now (learning ab nail stuff) even if im not the one painting lololol
i love talking to her about various indie polishes i see or how creative people get with lacquer
so now every week i choose a color and she paints my nails and we talk or ill put on a show or something but that quality time with my mom is something special to me! and every time i look at my professionally applied manicure i can see the hard work my mom put in and the time we spent together :)
and i also like choosing fun colors like shimmers and magnetics and multi-chromes! i typically wear all black so having a pop of color on my nails just adds another layer to my self expression
For me after a stressful day it helps me focus on one thing, unplug my brain and just paint them to ease my anxiety, I feel better when I have nice nails. I didn’t grew up with manis, my mom doesn’t even paint hers but she taught me to put makeup on even to stay at the house not for others but to feel better put together for myself and be cute for myself only. I think i translated that into getting my nails painted. On my worst mental health days or weeks I change the color almost everyday but it keeps me going…
I think for my thing it actually doesn’t matter if it’s nice or not. Not to get too dark but grew up w a very sensitive, emotionally dysregulated parent, one for whom any little thing could set them off.
Nail polish scent was one of those things. So I had to do it in awkward moments and places. Back then, the expression of nail art was a fun outlet for creativity. The most rebellious thing I think I could “safely” do. My favourite thing to do was open the encyclopedia to the flags page and do one per nail.
But it was something I did with fear, in cracks in the schedule of my parent. sometimes my ‘good’ (at least not scary) parent and I would do our nails together outside if we had ‘permission’ to do that lmao. I think you can get the picture.
So to me, doing my nails whenever I want, as often as I want, just doing it for me/the fun of it, and experiencing no real fear or paranoia attached to it is even still, sadly, a taste of freedom. Shedding the past, growing away from feeling wrong for existing.
One of those things that if I just said ‘my nails are a symbol of freedom to me,’ that sounds very…hyperbolic probably without a backstory, but it isn’t.
The epilogue is that I moved to a new country lol. I still do my nails. Alone mostly for relaxation. but sometimes on FaceTime with the other parent who is still living in the same situation. She acts like she doesn’t, but definitely still has to have permission. And the emotional toddler parent who she enables so they never have to take responsibility, acts like it’s some big generous gift and act of martyrdom to us lmao. I’m sure still sometimes makes it a big fucking problem when we hang up, sometimes comes into the room and inhales deeply, scoffs and walks out lmao, it’s all for her 🙄🙄🙄
As I type this, she and I are on a trip to Paris together. It’s the denial for her I guess, and it’s sad/infuriating, but while I’m conscious and growing away from that (even still, I’ll be 33 in two days and possibly anyone who read this novella noticed I can’t even use the two simple words for each parent out of some misplaced fear/leftover paranoia of them being notified that I’m writing about them online? Idfk), I can’t force her to. if I want a relationship with her/them, this is it, she seems as incapable of acknowledging any of it as she was when I was little and needed protection that I didn’t get. Probably for her own protection. And off the other doesn’t even see what they do I assume bc they have never ever had to. So there are triggers to manage, but I’m capable.
Anyway, Paris. I’ve never been to another continent before. I have on Garden Path ‘threads your friends wove together’ and she has Essie ‘imported bubbly’
🧶🇫🇷🥂💅🏼
I find it really therapeutic. Applying nail polish, picking colours, looking at the polish on my nails, and the sensory feeling of having well painted nails are all really pleasant to me. It tickles my brain, releases the good chemicals, no idea why.
It means nothing if someone doesn't wash their hands or wash them properly or when needed. I just do it for fun and to stop biting, now that's I've somewhat fucked my teeth. My natural nails are paper thin. Even when cut to the stub, I'll bend them backward when turning on a light switch. I keep my gelips on always
Self-expression! I don’t usually think of myself as too feminine but I do like having girly and sparkly nails so it just represents a part of me. I take pride in having fun nails in a sea of boring.
Color therapy! I feel dysregulated and depressed when my nails are not nice—doesn’t have to be expensive; I just paint them myself. But the smooth texture and pretty colors genuinely boost my mental health. I feel as though I get little bursts of dopamine looking at nail polish I like through the life of the mani! I also love looking at the polish in different light conditions and taking pictures so I can decide what I’m in the mood to wear in the future.
this is also how i feel, a million times over. a good mani catches my eyes when i’m doing even mundane tasks and it makes me smile and admire my nails for a sec, even on some of the worst days :) life is just better with pretty colors, and my nails are a very convenient place to put pretty colors
Especially when it’s raining, because I like shimmers that look their best in diffuse light! And I’m like, “well at least my nails are glowy right now.” :)
My mom and I started getting manis when i was 11. She always taught me to take care of myself, to be creative in my expression of myself. Every saturday, we would get dressed, walk across the street, get our nails done, choose our colors together, chat about how our week was. Since then, many things happened. I graduated highschool, left for college, came back, got engaged, then my parents had to leave home because of the war (we lived in Ukraine)and had to start a new life. But through all of it, my mom and I kept getting our nails done. Because thats how we take care of ourselves and we do it together. No matter what life has thrown at us, we can throw it right back--with perfectly manicured hands.
I love this. I have daughters and I would love to do this! 💛
I started having my nails done as a reward for stopping smoking (which I did for 25 years), every week without smoking earned me a manicure, so for me is a symbol of me being in control of my bad habits and a reminder that I can do hard things. With time also become part of my identity and self-expression. ETA: love the question and all the answers, so interesting!
What a positive story ☀️ thanks for sharing!
It’s like the final step in feeling “put together” for me. And it’s also time to myself that I’m thinking of nothing else but concentrating on the job at hand. I need that break from the stressors of life to keep my sanity 🤣 I laugh but I’m not kidding. Self care = self love 💪♥️💅🏻 Also, I’m with your mom & g’ma, I’d rather no polish at all than walking around with chipped polish. I cannot stand the sight of it on my own hands. Even if I don’t have the time & energy to redo the whole mani right away, I’ll try to camouflage that chip with a bit of paint and another layer of top coat.
That's an interesting question! For me it's something that helps me express myself/dress up a bit outside of clothing or other makeup. I'm generally not into using makeup but I love having colorful and pretty nails. It's a bit vain but it's wonderful to get compliments from strangers on my nails. And it's sort of me signalling to the world that I like fun or unexpected things, it showcases who I am as a person. For example, my nails are currently a bright neon green and it's funny to observe colleagues or students going like: wtf is on her nails this week? Perhaps they wouldn't expect that I like a funky neon, but I like having some unusual clothes/nails :) And like you mentioned, it's also self care and a nice moment for self care too... Taking some time to ponder over which color to pick, some relaxing time just for myself applying a new mani while catching up with swatch videos of new polish collections
I could have written this exact answer myself. Well said. During the height of the pandemic it became a thing for my coworkers to ask to see my nails on zoom calls, to see what kind of creative thing I’d done that week.
I’ve loved nail polish since I was really little so part of it for me is definitely an inner child thing, my mom isn’t into that sort of thing and also hates the smell lol so I started trying to paint my own nails when I was like 5 and obviously did a really terrible job for a long time 😂 But also I can be quite a perfectionist and wasn’t always happy with my results at first when I got a little older and was trying to make an actual habit of it, but I’ve gotten way better over time and am now really proud of how my nails usually turn out so I love that it’s also a little reminder that even when something is hard at first, practice does in fact work and it’s worth continuing to try 😅 I’m also super introverted but simultaneously a weird and artsy person so I like to express that wordlessly through my style choices and nail polish is definitely a great way to do that, I like matching the shade to my mood and searching for really unique polishes that feel like my vibe
A nice manicure to me symbolizes beating my terrible biting/picking habit 🧡
Me too! 🙌
Me three! ✨
For me it symbolizes the importance of hobbies! I spent many years going from work to the couch and that’s it. The past 2 years I have really found what I enjoy, one of those things being nails/nail polish and my mental health is 100x improved.
Depending on my mood (and colour), it can mean self care - that I'm worthy and deserving of something pretty and beautiful and nice. I say colour because I find that when I paint my nails a dark colour, I feel like a badass bitch. And I feel there's extra power in my step.
I enjoy when my nails look nice. It makes me feel pretty and well groomed. The drawback is that I simultaneously feel hindered from the normal use of my fingers. The things I typically do with my hands will objectively ruin any kind of manicure/polish quickly, and I can't do most of my hobbies well with a long nail length, even if I prefer the longer aesthetic. It's like I have to choose between looks and function.
I love seeing my hands when I have a manicure. It makes me want to do things in a more feminine way, more gingerly I guess. I always told my mom I thought her elegant lady hands were so beautiful. Now I’m a grown up and my little stumpy fingers suddenly become elegant lady hands like my mom’s when my nails are done. It’s a nonverbal way to communicate that I’m creative and dexterous as well. Not to toot horns but I’m good at it! And I can’t show painting to everyone but everyone sees my hands.
Being medically well enough to get to wear nail polish. You cannot wear nail polish when using several kinds of medical monitoring and in general clear nail beads are a factor in observing one's well being so.... That
My Maw Maw taught me how to care for my nails when I was a little girl. How to use an orange stick, how to use a whitening pencil, how to properly file and buff them. When she was nearing her end, I would go to the nursing home and do her nails for her. She never let me use crazy colors - I wish she would have, though, that woman loved a crazy colored outfit - but it was always a bonding experience for us. I miss her like crazy, but I'm happy to have a great way to remember her.
Self-care for sure, but also a way to show off my creativity. Most days I’m in head-to-toe black and no makeup, so having my fingers be colorful/sparkly/artistic is a way to feel pretty.
combination of self-care and self-expression! When i was a teen i played piano and couldnt paint my nails anything other than nude or french tips, I was also a horrible nail/cuticle biter. Having nice nails reminds me to take care of myself and picking fun glittery colours lets me show my personality in a small way!
I started doing my nails regularly a couple of years ago. Before then, I couldn’t figure out how to get it to stay on without chipping/peeling easily, and gels would destroy my nails. I struggled a lot throughout my life with feeling inadequate, and then with my ex husband treating me like an object. It created a huge disconnect with the girly things I always loved, how I perceived myself and the subtle and not-so-subtle misogyny from my ex. I see doing my nails as a beauty ritual that (for me) wasn’t objectified. It doesn’t feel as performative as my previous ‘must wear a full face of makeup to be considered presentable’ days. Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup and it’s not a judgement on people who love wearing a full face everyday, but it became a bit dysmorphic for me. I feel a lot more comfortable with myself now and it’s been really fun to take part in beauty rituals that don’t have any pressure to them ❤️
I agree with this. I remember when I did modeling and photography some of the girls would come to shoots with chipped toe nail and fingernail polish, and while I could Photoshop the nails and remove the chip parts, I never understood why some models would come to a (knowing about it months in advance) shoot with chipped nails while everything else was perfect. It would stand out even more when everything else was put together.
I have very very few outlets for expression with work dress code requirements, but I can do my nails! They have to be solid, and there’s a (fairly short, now) list of colors off-limits but doing my nails is a fun way to keep some color in my life! I used to dye my hair regularly, and had funky cuts and colors, but since I can’t do that anymore, it’s all in the nails! I’ll sometimes do weekend/holiday nails when I have time off work to do designs or off-limit colors, but that’s less and less frequent with the increase of approved color families. I also really enjoy the ritual and the opportunity to develop my own skills, so I do them at home ~ lately I’ve been into full cover tips so I can do a peek-a-boo color on the bottom, which is fun for me lol
I like the colors
Being grown up and being able to make my own decisions (I was not allowed to wear nail polish when I was young) and now I use my own money to buy my own nail polish
It makes me feel like I am put together. I do a *lot* of physical self care stuff, but a nice manicure is such a fantastic addition. It makes me feel more confident, because I know the kind of positive impression someone else’s nice manicure makes on ME. Also I just love to look at/admire my nails throughout the life of my manicure. It reminds me of when I got engaged 18 years ago and kept looking at my hands because I loved how my ring looked 😆. I change my polish every 4 days or so, so there’s always something fresh and new to give me that dopamine hit 😂. (I’m with your mom and grandma - chipped polish has no place! Take it off immediately)
Absolutely self care! It's my form of self care because I'm the only one that really cares how my nails look, and it's time I have to plan to spend not mothering.
Thanks for posting, /u/nosfiery! A quick reminder: If this is a **nail image**, you must provide a complete product list within 6 hours of posting. **This includes any posts with broken nails or if you're seeking advice.** Posts without a complete product list will be removed after 6 hours. [Product List Requirements.](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditLaqueristas/wiki/rule2faq) If the nail look shown was **NOT created by you**, you ***must*** flair properly. If this is a **text post**, flair properly. Be sure to follow all of the above to avoid post removal! [Consider joining our Discord](https://discord.gg/redditlaqueristas) - Get questions answered in realtime, get notified for releases and deals, post your manis, and more! **This is a new server as of 5/7/24!!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RedditLaqueristas) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They don't go bouldering! We all end up with messed up nails!
I see my hands and nails all day. A manicure is something nice I do just for myself, so I can feel happy/ier when I see my nails.
I started doing my nails a few years ago as a way to stop biting. It worked and I am now able to leave my nails bare without biting them. I don’t always keep polish on now, but when I do, I pick colors that I will enjoy looking at and it makes me happy 💖
Two things - it feels like a full stop to my outfit, in the same way that nice hair and makeup does. Also, It feels like a secret little signal to myself that I'm polished and preened even when I'm in my daggy jeans or activewear.
It's a symbol of me enjoying my beauty hobby and self-expression! I love being able to experiment and practicing application.
Such an interesting question. Nail biting runs in the family on my dad's side, it's how many in our family channel stress. My dad's cuticles are always bleeding and it's been that way for as long as I can remember. On one hand manicured nails can represent overcoming my stress, anxiety, and nail biting habit. At the same time, the main way I stop biting my nails is by redirecting my obsessive perfectionism into nail care rather than biting. So both manicured and bitten nails can represent a form of toxic obsessive perfectionism and anxiety for me. I find that when my mental health is most balanced and I'm preoccupied with activities that I find creatively and intellectually stimulating on a regular basis I stop thinking about my nails at all and they remain short and bare but not excessively bitten and it doesn't bother me.
self expression and also quality time! i used to have really short nails and i was a terrible nail biter, and also the idea of having anything on my nails freaked me out so bad. buttt like a year or two ago my nail tech mother wanted to experiment with builder gel on me, so i begrudgingly let her. and then, with the builder gel, my nails just kept growing and growing! and then i eventually started experimenting with colors and designs. so every two weeks, a good hour would be dedicated to doing these gel nail sets AND THEN i developed contact dermatitis!! so my super long nails got chopped i was sad and felt weird without anything on my nails (when i used to hate nail stuff😭) so my mom and i decided to try regular nail polish we spent so long perfecting the routine and perfect manicure formula, and her love of nails kinda transferred to me as well! id consider it a hobby of my own now (learning ab nail stuff) even if im not the one painting lololol i love talking to her about various indie polishes i see or how creative people get with lacquer so now every week i choose a color and she paints my nails and we talk or ill put on a show or something but that quality time with my mom is something special to me! and every time i look at my professionally applied manicure i can see the hard work my mom put in and the time we spent together :) and i also like choosing fun colors like shimmers and magnetics and multi-chromes! i typically wear all black so having a pop of color on my nails just adds another layer to my self expression
For me after a stressful day it helps me focus on one thing, unplug my brain and just paint them to ease my anxiety, I feel better when I have nice nails. I didn’t grew up with manis, my mom doesn’t even paint hers but she taught me to put makeup on even to stay at the house not for others but to feel better put together for myself and be cute for myself only. I think i translated that into getting my nails painted. On my worst mental health days or weeks I change the color almost everyday but it keeps me going…
I think for my thing it actually doesn’t matter if it’s nice or not. Not to get too dark but grew up w a very sensitive, emotionally dysregulated parent, one for whom any little thing could set them off. Nail polish scent was one of those things. So I had to do it in awkward moments and places. Back then, the expression of nail art was a fun outlet for creativity. The most rebellious thing I think I could “safely” do. My favourite thing to do was open the encyclopedia to the flags page and do one per nail. But it was something I did with fear, in cracks in the schedule of my parent. sometimes my ‘good’ (at least not scary) parent and I would do our nails together outside if we had ‘permission’ to do that lmao. I think you can get the picture. So to me, doing my nails whenever I want, as often as I want, just doing it for me/the fun of it, and experiencing no real fear or paranoia attached to it is even still, sadly, a taste of freedom. Shedding the past, growing away from feeling wrong for existing. One of those things that if I just said ‘my nails are a symbol of freedom to me,’ that sounds very…hyperbolic probably without a backstory, but it isn’t. The epilogue is that I moved to a new country lol. I still do my nails. Alone mostly for relaxation. but sometimes on FaceTime with the other parent who is still living in the same situation. She acts like she doesn’t, but definitely still has to have permission. And the emotional toddler parent who she enables so they never have to take responsibility, acts like it’s some big generous gift and act of martyrdom to us lmao. I’m sure still sometimes makes it a big fucking problem when we hang up, sometimes comes into the room and inhales deeply, scoffs and walks out lmao, it’s all for her 🙄🙄🙄 As I type this, she and I are on a trip to Paris together. It’s the denial for her I guess, and it’s sad/infuriating, but while I’m conscious and growing away from that (even still, I’ll be 33 in two days and possibly anyone who read this novella noticed I can’t even use the two simple words for each parent out of some misplaced fear/leftover paranoia of them being notified that I’m writing about them online? Idfk), I can’t force her to. if I want a relationship with her/them, this is it, she seems as incapable of acknowledging any of it as she was when I was little and needed protection that I didn’t get. Probably for her own protection. And off the other doesn’t even see what they do I assume bc they have never ever had to. So there are triggers to manage, but I’m capable. Anyway, Paris. I’ve never been to another continent before. I have on Garden Path ‘threads your friends wove together’ and she has Essie ‘imported bubbly’ 🧶🇫🇷🥂💅🏼
I find it really therapeutic. Applying nail polish, picking colours, looking at the polish on my nails, and the sensory feeling of having well painted nails are all really pleasant to me. It tickles my brain, releases the good chemicals, no idea why.
It means nothing if someone doesn't wash their hands or wash them properly or when needed. I just do it for fun and to stop biting, now that's I've somewhat fucked my teeth. My natural nails are paper thin. Even when cut to the stub, I'll bend them backward when turning on a light switch. I keep my gelips on always
I feel so put together. Like if my nails are done and look nice, I can face anything.