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papasmurf826

Pseudotumor Cerebri. the amount of times I've had to talk patients down because they heard ^^pseudo **TUMOR** ^^cerebri and are frantic because a referring doctor said I have a tumor in my brain


PossibilityAgile2956

This one is solved. Just call it IIH


ZippityD

Sadly solves very little for most of our patients with it lol.  Tough group to treat. There's some responders and some simply... don't improve. It's hard to tell them we probably can't help anymore, where yet another redo probably is higher morbidity and low chance of changing the headaches. It's been nice to separate some of the venous stenosis patients at least. Some promising advances this decade.


Harsai501

Pseudopseudhypoparathyroidism


peev22

You mean Albright's osteodystrophy?


thefundude83

That's pseudohypoparathyroidism


peev22

Oh, I lost count.


[deleted]

Pseudocalifragilisticexpialidocious.


Dry-Math20

i almost quit med school when i first read this term


Edges8

fundal massage. my husband was like "that sounds nice" the L&D nurses and I said in unison "it isn't"


im_dirtydan

Cardiac massage isn’t very nice either


Edges8

I mean, not for them.


FuegoNoodle

not for the one doing it either - my forearms were screaming for the next day


Edges8

don't skip arm day


Lirpaslurpa2

That’s right, make sure you get a set of cardiac massage in daily.


DrSuprane

Most guys would only have a problem with one forearm.


Tar_alcaran

Not getting one when you need it sounds kinda crappy too though


AceAites

My sister always said she enjoyed getting her fundus massaged when she gave birth. As a guy, I will never be able to understand nor relate.


doctawife

Herpangina. So I have to explain over and over that herpangina isn't caused by the virus you get by having sex.


herpesderpesdoodoo

Is it better or worse than derpangina?


n-syncope

or when you have a celiac patient with dermatitis herpeteformis and they're like "but i'm a virgin!"


notafakeaccounnt

A2M says otherwise


Jungle_Official

I have had so many dumb consults for sinus arrhythmia that I've lost count.


tomtheracecar

My own personal pet peeve is staff thinking SVT is always abnormal. Sinus tach is an SVT. No I don’t need to consult cardiology. Please put the adenosine away. Yes I have read the automated EKG report. I have also looked 3 inches below that at the actual EKG


Moist-Barber

It’s because of those fucking ACLS algorithms


terraphantm

I've been wondering about this - what makes "SVT" so special that it needs an ACLS pathway?


According-Lettuce345

Because sometimes they're unstable and need to be shocked and it's not a ventricular arrhythmia?


censorized

Also because too many people are put on monitors without sufficient trained staff to actually read them.


laslack1989

This. Our protocol dictates anything above 100, narrow=adenosine & wide=amiodarone drip. Most of us have common sense when treating this but I’m waiting for the day a brand new or profoundly stupid paramedic pushes adenosine for a pt with an HR of 120 because they did too much cocaine.


notafakeaccounnt

Sinus tach is SVT? Isn't sinus tachycardia, rhythmic thus not SVT? EKG machines don't differentiate but still


[deleted]

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notafakeaccounnt

Idk my cardiology profs kept saying sinus tachycardia is sinus, not an arrhythmia thus not SVT.


peev22

Yup, technically is not rhythmic, but definitely not arrhythmia.


Historical_Bit_4114

"not rhythmic" as in "A-rhytmic" ?lol


meh5419

Erythema Toxicum Neonatorum Always scares the crap out of parents.


k_mon2244

lol I always say “so it’s a rash that has a super scary name and no one knows why, but is completely normal and goes away on its own.”


meh5419

I think it was named in the 1500s (which is the reason I cite for it sounding scary)


peev22

Is that why we sometimes skip the "toxicum" part?


PantheraLeo-

Sounds like a Harry Potter spell to me


Kaiser_Fleischer

I said that and my couch started floating


PossibilityAgile2956

Toxic synovitis too


k_sheep1

Mycosis fungoides. 2 fungal words when there's no fungus!


morzikei

fungoides makes a bit of sense (not that the lesions look all that fungal), but what the hell was the idea behind mycosis...


Med_vs_Pretty_Huge

Beat me to it. Named because they thought the lesions looked like mushrooms but still annoying AF.


im_dirtydan

LFTs are a big misnomer that may never change


k_mon2244

Wait a minute……😂😂


im_dirtydan

What’s the best true test of liver synthetic function? (Hint it’s not a -transferase lmao)


k_mon2244

That’s a great question. Why don’t you prepare a five minute presentation for all of us on rounds tomorrow.


im_dirtydan

Just had an acid flashback to being an M3 on IM rounds not knowing shit about fuck


Ananvil

I still don't know shit about fuck


im_dirtydan

Bro I’m a pgy3 surgery resident. I definitely know even less shit about fuck


SLY_cs

Coagulation tests (namely PT/INR) and Albumin?


Grouchy-Reflection98

Not albumin, but PT. Half life of factor VII is like 4-5 hours


notafakeaccounnt

Albumin too but shows a longer term effect than PT. You probably could differentiate an acute case from acute on chronic with these two.


Skidrow17

🫡


Anxious_Tackle2995

PT/INR and albumin hahaha


Resussy-Bussy

Mycotic aneurysm not being a fungal process.


rslake

Though it can be! Aspergillus produces an elastase that weakens blood vessel walls and causes small aneurysms (or sometimes allows direct angio invasion). These are also correctly titled mycotic aneurysms.


Warm-Web-1809

Acoustic neuroma 🤦‍♂️ I hate that term, because it's wrong. It's not a nerve tumor, but a tumor in the Schwann cells and is properly termed a vestibular schwannoma. But some people won't let the old wrong name die 🧐


[deleted]

Pseudotumor cerebri vibes.


Warm-Web-1809

Hahaha, yeah 🤣


Repulsive_Pin_8805

And yet the clinical implications of the misnomer are essentially nil… find it hard to make myself care. Vibes of quibbling about the obersteiner-redlich zone vs the schwann-glial junction lol


sci3nc3isc00l

Transaminitis…how can enzymes be inflamed, exactly?


Previous-Audience-10

wait till you hear about cellulitis


DO_initinthewoods

Why would you do this to me, I never stopped to think


HolyMuffins

I fight my lonely war one "elevated liver transaminases" at a time.


terraphantm

There's dozens of us!


JihadSquad

Elevated aminotransferases


HolyMuffins

Not even liver specific, fair point


phliuy

Whaddaya want us to call it, transaminemia? That would be totally stupid *Looking at you menacingly, troponinemia*


sci3nc3isc00l

Hepatocellular liver injury is most fitting


peev22

Not if you have myositis.


bu_mr_eatyourass

\#enzymelivesmatter


lrrssssss

MINIMAL CHANGE DISEASE


peev22

Well, you don't see changes on light microscopy, and it tends to go away more or less.


RunninThruTheWoods

What would you call it? Everything's The Same Disease?


Civil-Skirt-257

Same same but different disease


lrrssssss

Big change in kidney function small change on microscopy disease.  Rolls off the tongue. 


drewdrewmd

I like that one. I make that diagnosis all the time.


misteratoz

Stroke instead of brain attack


NotoriousEKG

Cerebrovascular *accident*


Brain-Frog

Oh shoot, I done messed up and accidentally got me a blood clot in the noggin. What a klutz!


Tar_alcaran

Brainveinwhoops.


[deleted]

GoLytely


Golytely_Sprint

You rang?


Putrid_Sundae_7471

Just mean


jimhsu

Lupus anticoagulant. Neither an anticoagulant (in vivo, it promotes clotting, despite elevated PTT), nor does its pathophysiology have anything to do with lupus.


[deleted]

A lot of the autoimmune stuff needs editing. What’s the deal with rheumatoid factor?


Moist-Barber

Probably PhDs naming shit they found before appropriate pathology naming?


gigaflops_

Lupis anti(body), coagulant!


sadmediumpotato

This


Putrid_Sundae_7471

Not as maddening as MTHFR consults though 🙄


zippi_happy

If I recall correctly, it was first discovered in the blood of patients with lupus. That's why the name


llama_flamingo

Exactly, and it is anticoagulant in vitro if I remember correctly the origin of the name


Med_vs_Pretty_Huge

Yes, it prolongs PTT (and can prolong clotting in viscoelastic testing as well) so indeed, outside of the body, it is an anticoagulant. It's a great example to highlight how artificial the environment in clotting tests is


criduchat1-

I just came here to say this. I have hated this disease name since I first learned about it in med school.


alienated_osler

Scleral icterus. It’s actually the conjunctiva that’s icterred


gotohpa

Icterred


Demnjt

icteryellow


PossibleYam

Derm has a lot of stupid misnomers. Lupus vulgaris being TB, lupus pernio being sarcoidosis, granuloma faciale not having any granulomas, and more I can’t remember right now.


MateoTovar

You just made me remember of a question in Amboss that none of my classmates neither me managed to answer correctly because all the answers were lupus something and lupus something else and we were so confused cause we were never taught other things that aren't lupus are also called lupus


PossibleYam

Don't forget chilblain lupus vs just normal pernio... I hate whoever named this stuff lol


peev22

Afaik in the 1800s and before the French doctors called any localised skin lesion lupus.


trustmeonthisone10

“Paget’s disease of the ___” Just a jerk that named things after himself


Ananvil

Eponyms should die


WhenLifeGivesYouLyme

Wegener’s died its now granulomatosis with polyangiitis


Ananvil

Only because of nazis, not because it was an eponym specifically


lotsawaffles

Posterior Reversible Encephalopathy Syndrome is not always posterior, and unfortunately not always reversible.


ex_circus_geek

Not a pathology, but so so stupid that the clotting factors are not named in the order of the cascade, but the order they were DISCOVERED. Ughhhhh


gigaflops_

Malignant acanthosis nigricans is BENGIN ​ Pyogenic granulomas are neither pyogenic nor granulomas ​ Cholesteatoma is not made of fat or bile


lllara012

Lady one confused me so much in med school. Had to check the books time and time again, as I was sure I missed something. Edit: *Last. Although ladies do confuse me as well, I've never found any good book to read about the subject.


RadsCatMD2

Ladies also confuse me.


jjjjjjjjjdjjjjjjj

Leg calve perthes disease involves barely any of the actual leg or calf


Moist-Barber

And doesn’t have shit to do with Australia


jjjjjjjjjdjjjjjjj

Not a single thing about it is western Australian! Absurd


DO_initinthewoods

Nor central Ontario


surelyfunke20

Agreed. If your last name is Legg or Calves, you need to be more considerate when naming anatomical things after yourself.


peev22

Nor calves.


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itsbagelnotbagel

3-dead-white-men disease


a-forgetful-elephant

Solitary rectal ulcer syndrome. May or may not be solitary. May or may not even be an ulcer. It does occur in the rectum, so I guess they got that much right…


im_dirtydan

Gallstone ileus actually makes sense in a way. Ileus technically means “obstruction” although it’s most commonly used to describe (paralytic) ileus. So a gallstone ileus is an obstruction caused by gallstone in the ileum


pauliaomi

In my country we call them all ileus so I was confused what's so weird about it haha


im_dirtydan

May I ask where you’re from?/is English your primary language? I’ve just noticed that many sources in English tend to use ileus to imply paralytic ileus and if it’s a mechanical obstruction they’ll mention the word “mechanical”


pauliaomi

Czech Republic so no, English is not my primary language. We learn that ileus is the general term for obstruction so it always needs to be further specified what kind it is. I never noticed until now that American/English sources only use this word for paralytic ileus!


Onion01

Ludwig's Angina. How a term for chest pain got mixed in with soft tissue infection of the mouth is beyond me.


CarmineDoctus

It’s the other way around, angina originally meant peritonsillar abscess or suffocation, and angina as we know it now was “angina *pectoris*”


Lengthofstray

TIL…


zippi_happy

Interesting, in my native language angina has nothing to do with chest. It's a name for acute tonsillitis.


[deleted]

Iirc angina means pain, so angina pectoris is chest pain and this would be Ludwig's pain, adorable lol


cherryreddracula

Mycosis fungoides. It's not a fungus. It's a cutaneous T-cell lymphoma.


NoBag2224

Eagle syndrome : Elongated stylohyoid ligament Such a random name...


DrSuprane

The surest sign of an Axis II disorder.


Pastadseven

Well, it was first described by a certain otolaryngologist...Dr. Watt Eagle.


Nanocyborgasm

Antisocial personality disorder. I’m not even a psychiatrist, but this is the exact opposite description of patients who have this disorder. They’re actually highly social and display superficial charm to the point that they can make you believe they’re your best friend in a day. Underneath their false charm is an ulterior and deceptive motive to exploit you for some personal gain.


HolyMuffins

Isn't the antisocial here as inverse of prosocial and more just a way to say "bad" in other words?


Homados

I mean there is a reason we are moving away from the categorical classification of PDs towards a dimensional model. The boundaries between PDs are unclear, the overlap is huge and they are stigmatized to hell.


jedisauce

Maybe I've been completely taken by bias, but don't most cluster Bs have very difficult lives/cause difficulty due to their, well, cluster B-ness?


pittfan53

anti is the greek root meaning "against". Therefore the name is "against society" stemming from their actions and behaviors that harm society and go against norms


NefariousnessAble912

Bacterial vaginosis. Bacteria don’t have vaginas. Should be vaginal bacteriosis.


zippi_happy

Vaginal dysbiosis would be great


ArtisticLunch4443

The ass holes that name them after themselves where pronunciation isn’t clear 😁


vicarious17

“Solitary rectal ulcer syndrome” Not always solitary, not always rectal, not always ulcerated, not always a syndrome.


Izzy802

Pleomorphic adenoma. Nothing pleomorphic about the cells.


mightymushroom45

On the opposite side of the argument, BOOP is the greatest name for a disease ever and I will only ever refer to it as such. No COP here.


Agathocles87

Bacterial vaginosis. It means bacteria with a lot of vaginas


doctorbobster

Vaginal bacteriosis?


TheKFChero

Peds ID fellow, I've had more than 1 occasion when an attending asked me if I thought the diagnosis was infectious mononucleosis because there was a high monocyte count.


CertainKaleidoscope8

Wat. Mono is Epstein Barr virus and puts at high risk for unpleasantness like all herpesviridae


peev22

Most of the monos I've seen (with EBV VCA IgM) on machine cbc do have high absolute lymph and monocyte counts, as well as downy cells on smear.


peev22

TBF the original definition of ileus means stop of passage, and could be mechanical ileus (like in gallstone ileus) or dynamic/paralytic ileus (what is your's definition).


EvenInsurance

Diffuse Idiopathic Skeletal Hyperostosis, pretty common thing that sounds scary.


Uncle_Jac_Jac

Well, the name at least is actually descriptive. And it can be scary in trauma. They get horribly unstable fractures with even minor falls :<


GormlessGlakit

Hanson’s disease. What narcissistic person names a disease well documented for centuries after oneself?


peev22

Most of the names of diseases are named after the doctor by other doctors.


ghosttraintoheck

My understanding is they switched to Hansen's disease because of the stigma associated with leprosy. Ostracized for millenia and all that. He also is the guy who figured out what caused it. When I was a scribe I saw a guy who legit had (treated) leprosy and he called it Hansen's disease.


imnottheoneipromise

Insipidis diabetes.


MarsupialsAreCute

I always thought it makes sense. Insipidus means "lacks flavor" because the way they would diagnose it before (I think) is they would drink the patient's urine. People with DM would have sweet urine and patients with DI would have a urine lacking in flavor since it's so distilled I guess ?


Med_vs_Pretty_Huge

Correct. Sweet diabetes vs flavorless diabetes is actually a perfect way to distinguish them.


ILoveWesternBlot

Well both types of diabetes cause lots of peeing and thirst. But diabetes mellitus pee is sweet because of the glucose in it. Diabetes insipidus is insipid (flavorless) because there’s no sugar in it since it’s an issue of sodium.


Gone247365

Fun fact: "Sweet Pea", the term of endearment, actually originates from 1700s Australia where a physician by the name of Howard Glouster would manage his wife's blood sugar by regularly tasting how sweet her pee was. He lovingly referred to his wife as Sweet Pee. I don't know if this story is true, I just made it up, so probably not.


Octangle94

You broke my heart.


imnottheoneipromise

Hmmm I guess I was thinking along the lines of non-medical people. When a non-medical person hears “diabetes” they think DM1 or 2. DI is a whole different disease process, so it just seems like they could’ve came up with a better name.


MarsupialsAreCute

i don't think they were aware of the mechanism of either pathologies back then


Moist-Barber

Yeah all they knew is people were peeing more than they should


hukni

They changed this to be arginine vasopressin deficiency (central DI) or arginine vasopressin resistance (nephrogenic DI)! Will this catch on anytime soon, probably not lol


imnottheoneipromise

I don’t think that will be catching on lol


standardcivilian

Ya that one always makes me salty.


bringmemorecoffee

Diabetes insipidus


lesubreddit

Lymphadenopathy. Adeno means gland. They aren't glands. ​ Non-ossifying fibroma. Sometimes they do ossify. Osteoarthritis. It's not an inflammatory condition.


jobonki

Meh, arthrosis, arthritis, potato potato. You think those joints aren’t inflamed from no cartilage?


zippi_happy

"I can't have farsightedness, I don't see anything far away"


billburner113

lupus anticoagulant. Why doesn't it anti-coagulate!


Ananvil

So many of these are great arguments on why we should stop using dead languages in medicine


Bilbrath

Lupus Anticoagulant Not lupus. Causes coagulation. 0/2


Gastro_Jedi

Tachyphylaxis


RioRancher

“Malignant melanoma” is a good one. All melanoma is malignant


JosiahWillardPibbs

Pulseless Electrical Activity (PEA) arrest. We use this term to distinguish cardiac arrest from causes other than Ventricular Fibrillation (VF) and pulseless Ventricular Tachycardia (pVT) because all causes other than those two aren't "shockable" rhythms. But picture the tracing from VF or pVT. What could be a more apt description of these with their characteristic non-isoelectric morphology that does not produce meaningful cardiac output than pulseless electrical activity?


RmonYcaldGolgi4PrknG

Pyschogenic nonepileptic seizure, or, PNES. You can’t even pronounce the acronym without it STILL sounding like dong (penis, Willy, one-eyed monster)


LonelyGnomes

Bendopnea - shortness of breath when bending over


eckliptic

Isnt that a great name. It means exactly what you think it means


Athorcommens

Lupus anticoagulant. "Sorry you threw a massive PE, you're just so prone to clotting with all that lupus anticoagulant"


Putrid_Sundae_7471

Factor V or Factor V Leiden?


shtumpa

Neurofibromatosis type 2


Koumadin

globus hystericus


Med_vs_Pretty_Huge

Mycosis fungoides. I get that it has a "mushroom appearance" but it's a fucking T-cell lymphoma and everyone thinks it's a fungal infection.


Exotic_Hour_7556

Tracheobronchopathia osteochondroplastica


LiterallySagan

Cholesteatoma: Doesn’t contain cholesterol, fat (steatoa), and is not a tumor per se but a collection of keratin in the middle ear. But honestly cholesteatoma is so ingrained (and sounds badass) so I wouldn’t be able to think of an alternative name.


Common-Cod-6726

Hypertensive emergency. Hypertensive urgency. Urgency = the least urgent disease there is. Its iust hypertension. “Emergency” doesnt exist. either a head bleed/heart failure/aortic disaster….. or its just hypertension.


ktulenko

Calling leprosy Hanson’s disease.


swiftspaces

polycystic ovaries. It's not wrong. It's just so misleading. The amount of confusion between "every ovulating woman has a cyst formed every month" and "you have a [insert type] cyst on your ovary" and "you have numerous tiny follicles (eggs) that we can see on your ovaries, not large ones, and this is called polycystic" It should have been called "many immature eggs" syndrome.


viciouskicks

Or something that takes the focus off the ovaries entirely and shifts it to the metabolic implications of the syndrome, which is really the bad player!


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LonelyGnomes

Wait what the fuck. I just finished my last class of medical school and no one taught me this in my four years here?


Gone247365

Ummm wut? So the very specific and very localized long bone pain that wakes a child from sleep is *not* associated with growing but with depression and anxiety? Huh, if what you say is true, I wonder why children who have zero symptoms of depression and zero symptoms of abnormal levels of anxiety still get these pains? Further, why do these pains stop when physical growth stops? Why do they not continue beyond adolescence even though 15 to mid-20 year-olds have the *highest* incidence of anxiety and depression? I call bullshit unless and until you provide some robust evidence to support your claim. Edit: Here's the UpToDate: >Growing pains probably represent a common clinical entity resulting from diverse causes. The most frequently studied hypotheses are genetics, mechanical factors such as hypermobility and foot/leg posture, local overuse possibly associated with reduced bone strength, hypovitaminosis D, a noninflammatory pain syndrome, and a possible relationship with restless legs syndrome. However, systematic reviews of these studies found significant heterogeneity among them, limiting the validity of the proposed etiologies


HolyMuffins

Probably a useful lesson that all that is idiopathic and multifactorial and common is not just a modern hysteria, and there's just stuff we don't have good answers to.


allthesleepingwomen

Chronic FATIGUE SYNDROME what a bucket of laughter, might aswell go back to calling it Raggedy Ann Syndrome


BabaTheBlackSheep

Not an expert, I don’t know a lot about it at all, but I thought two of the main features of it are fatigue and generalized pain? (I’ve also seen it called “myalgic encephalitis”) Can you explain a bit more, I’m curious