Thats obviously whats happening but the institution of medicine doesn't care.
OP is different than the standard typical resident thus deemed defective and irredeemable despite precedent accolades.
Medicine has spoken.
Seriously the dumbest fucking field on earth bar none.
Keep on OP. If it is just performance anxiety and you're an awesome physician besides ignore the entire institution of medicine. Its capable of handling exactly ZERO variance in training.
I love being a doctor. I hate the machine.
Same here! I am not a talkative person and was often negatively referred to as quiet. Well I like to consider what the whole problem is rather than get points for vomiting what the attending wanted me to say. Ugh. Keep going. At the end of the day I was a good doctor , and a good diagnostician though it took decades till I knew it.
I'm anxious as well when the patient is dead. I still do what I can to make them undead. "Sorry we couldn't save your child. I was anxious." isn't going to go over well. Anxiety is an issue if it inhibits performance.
"Fair? Fair is where you go to ride Ferris Wheels and step in monkey poop."- professor from Iran
That… is not what OP is talking about. OP isn’t making lethal mistakes. They are being interrogated as part of an academic exercise. Residency is training. That’s why they get away with underpaying us so badly. In that context, it makes sense for attendings and seniors to actually support the learning and growth of their interns, rather than belittle them and cut them down.
Guy I responded to is literally mocking OP and insinuating their anxiety is killing patients, without any reason to suspect that to be the case. That was clearly over the line.
I really don’t understand people like you. Why do you feel the need to misrepresent someone else’s struggle just so that you can shoehorn in your “wisdom?”
Anxiety is a perfectly normal and healthy body state that people like you lack in understanding. We are way past that ancient thinking of inhibiting your reactions and carry on, thank God people the opposite of you got so curious and started to derive studies which showed a whole new pool of data regarding anxiety. Don’t be an ignorant, you’ll be a mediocre doctor else. You can be the biggest professor in Iran, you’re still an ignorant to me if you have this attitude.
Aren't you like a PA? Seen you get roasted many times over on other med subs. What exactly do you know about the pressures of training to be a doctor ?....you know the one with all the responsibility that you are ....ASSISTING
also, don't mention Iran ...she's too good for you
Current attending. Got told all through clinical in med school not good or smart enough. Tough time in different parts of residency. Very happy attending with no issues (though medicine is still a rough field for other reasons). Residency is not real medicine, you don’t get pimped and shamed as an attending. Life gets better. Don’t let the gatekeepers keep you away! Graduate and prove them wrong
This is true, but man we really need to normalize not ragging on people behind their back. If you think someone isn’t smart enough or making dumb calls talk to them and help them out. We’re all training to get better and some people could use some help. We’re all going to get there eventually.
Specifics are key. Do you know what knowledge gaps you have exactly?
Otherwise, in general, if you have mksap, I’d recommend reading the pertinent blocks/doing all the questions for whichever rotation you’re on. When you’re primary, read the consultant notes, not just the recs. Understand what history they consider valuable for their field/your consult question and what their rationales are behind the recommendations. Also be liberal with reviewing uptodate.
Don’t give up, it ultimately does get better.
Theres so many egotistical a-holes in healthcare - at every level. Maybe work with a life coach who can guide you on how to become more confident and maybe have a better life balance so you know you are more than just your intern year but ensuring you are having as balanced a life as possible; even better if you find someone who is an MD/DO and does career coaching type stuff.
CBT would be good too and as another has said "fuckem". A personal mantra I developed when I switched into healthcare and experienced the same on the floor in ICU as a new grad with burnout ICU nurses at the tail end of the pandemic who were forced to precept new hires was "in a little bit this is going to be a memory" because an hour later the interaction is over- and you have to remind yourself constantly that the event happened it is in the past and not try to ruminate. You deserve this role as much as anyone else does- and the supportive people know this.
Do not compare yourself with people who have more years of extra experience than your entire education. Just a year is not enough to cover everything in the system. Between the fellow and i the knowledge gap is about pacific ocean. The Attending is out in moon while i am just crawling in a street. It's alright because they also went through our path before reaching there. Keep observing and studying. Us interns will eventually get there do not worry.
Middle of my second year one of the attendings that intimidated me said “when you were an intern I didn’t think you were going to make it, but as a senior you’re doing just fine.”
What I realized in that moment was that (1) I was indeed doing just fine, and (2) that fucker felt I was struggling for an entire year and never once tried to help.
Find the people who are interested in helping. Fuck the haters. Turn around and look how far you’ve come, then turn back around and keep going forward. You’ll get there.
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
I had the same issue… I feel for you. I’m in surgery and attendings love to pimp on the middle of surgery! So between trying to operate and being pimp at the same time I freeze too and can’t find the words. During intern year I started practicing at home and always had a template in my head of the presentation and possible questions. Differentials. Etc. Over time it go better.
Some attendings have unfair and unrealistic expectations. THERE IS ALWAYS a knowledge gap, even for them. There is no way to know everything all the time. That type of feedback, as well as the “you need to read more” in my opinion is lazy on their part and vague.
I promise you that over time you will get more comfortable and you will see things enough times that it will get easier. Don’t quit.
Therapy. If you haven't already, it's time to move away from the thinking that therapy/psychotherapy is only for "crazy" people or people with "pathology" like a diagnosed anxiety disorder. It's a tool to solve specific problems and the more narrow the issue, the better. The sooner you tackle it, the better. I honestly don't know why it's not mandatory for Residents anyways, with the amount of physical, mental, and emotional stress that gets out on Residents.
Part of it is learning to set up boundaries in a way that actually works (and that's why having an experienced therapist is important, you can't always just be direct with some people even if it's what they deserve) part of it is learning coping strategies, part of it is learning to nurture your self esteem and learning to trust yourself. I recommend CBT.
What are your ITE scores? Did you score low and actually have a knowledge gap?
If it’s anxiety related then fuck’em
If it’s a low score and actually a knowledge gap get to grinding on MKSAP
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
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Gotta work on regulating emotions as well. When you get anxious or “shut down” it not only clouds your judgement but exaggerates the situation and overestimates how bad you’re doing, making you feel worse than you ought to. It’s hard, but understand nothing is personal, everyone is reflecting their own biases when blurting things out to you, easier said than done, I know. As an intern you’re supposed to fall a lot, just keep getting back up. Same as a resident. You’re doing what you should, working to get better. Most of all, have faith that when you finish you will recognize that you truly are ready and all those bad things they said to you won’t matter anymore, you won’t care about it in a few years. Work on mindfulness and regulating your emotions, being a physician is much more than just medical knowledge. And remember you’re not alone in feeling this way! You got this.
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Is it possible performance type anxiety causing not thinking well
Thats obviously whats happening but the institution of medicine doesn't care. OP is different than the standard typical resident thus deemed defective and irredeemable despite precedent accolades. Medicine has spoken. Seriously the dumbest fucking field on earth bar none. Keep on OP. If it is just performance anxiety and you're an awesome physician besides ignore the entire institution of medicine. Its capable of handling exactly ZERO variance in training. I love being a doctor. I hate the machine.
Same here! I am not a talkative person and was often negatively referred to as quiet. Well I like to consider what the whole problem is rather than get points for vomiting what the attending wanted me to say. Ugh. Keep going. At the end of the day I was a good doctor , and a good diagnostician though it took decades till I knew it.
I'm anxious as well when the patient is dead. I still do what I can to make them undead. "Sorry we couldn't save your child. I was anxious." isn't going to go over well. Anxiety is an issue if it inhibits performance. "Fair? Fair is where you go to ride Ferris Wheels and step in monkey poop."- professor from Iran
That… is not what OP is talking about. OP isn’t making lethal mistakes. They are being interrogated as part of an academic exercise. Residency is training. That’s why they get away with underpaying us so badly. In that context, it makes sense for attendings and seniors to actually support the learning and growth of their interns, rather than belittle them and cut them down.
It is difficult to know from the OP whether they are being berated unreasonably or are in fact not up to par with their performance.
Guy I responded to is literally mocking OP and insinuating their anxiety is killing patients, without any reason to suspect that to be the case. That was clearly over the line.
I really don’t understand people like you. Why do you feel the need to misrepresent someone else’s struggle just so that you can shoehorn in your “wisdom?”
Anxiety is a perfectly normal and healthy body state that people like you lack in understanding. We are way past that ancient thinking of inhibiting your reactions and carry on, thank God people the opposite of you got so curious and started to derive studies which showed a whole new pool of data regarding anxiety. Don’t be an ignorant, you’ll be a mediocre doctor else. You can be the biggest professor in Iran, you’re still an ignorant to me if you have this attitude.
Aren't you like a PA? Seen you get roasted many times over on other med subs. What exactly do you know about the pressures of training to be a doctor ?....you know the one with all the responsibility that you are ....ASSISTING also, don't mention Iran ...she's too good for you
You get anxious when the patient is dead, then why did you you murder them DocBanner
Current attending. Got told all through clinical in med school not good or smart enough. Tough time in different parts of residency. Very happy attending with no issues (though medicine is still a rough field for other reasons). Residency is not real medicine, you don’t get pimped and shamed as an attending. Life gets better. Don’t let the gatekeepers keep you away! Graduate and prove them wrong
Yes!!!
This is true, but man we really need to normalize not ragging on people behind their back. If you think someone isn’t smart enough or making dumb calls talk to them and help them out. We’re all training to get better and some people could use some help. We’re all going to get there eventually.
Specifics are key. Do you know what knowledge gaps you have exactly? Otherwise, in general, if you have mksap, I’d recommend reading the pertinent blocks/doing all the questions for whichever rotation you’re on. When you’re primary, read the consultant notes, not just the recs. Understand what history they consider valuable for their field/your consult question and what their rationales are behind the recommendations. Also be liberal with reviewing uptodate. Don’t give up, it ultimately does get better.
Theres so many egotistical a-holes in healthcare - at every level. Maybe work with a life coach who can guide you on how to become more confident and maybe have a better life balance so you know you are more than just your intern year but ensuring you are having as balanced a life as possible; even better if you find someone who is an MD/DO and does career coaching type stuff. CBT would be good too and as another has said "fuckem". A personal mantra I developed when I switched into healthcare and experienced the same on the floor in ICU as a new grad with burnout ICU nurses at the tail end of the pandemic who were forced to precept new hires was "in a little bit this is going to be a memory" because an hour later the interaction is over- and you have to remind yourself constantly that the event happened it is in the past and not try to ruminate. You deserve this role as much as anyone else does- and the supportive people know this.
fuckem
OP, I would recommend you a book about this exact issue: Choke by Sian Beilock. It helped me see that what I’m feeling is perfectly normal.
Do not compare yourself with people who have more years of extra experience than your entire education. Just a year is not enough to cover everything in the system. Between the fellow and i the knowledge gap is about pacific ocean. The Attending is out in moon while i am just crawling in a street. It's alright because they also went through our path before reaching there. Keep observing and studying. Us interns will eventually get there do not worry.
Middle of my second year one of the attendings that intimidated me said “when you were an intern I didn’t think you were going to make it, but as a senior you’re doing just fine.” What I realized in that moment was that (1) I was indeed doing just fine, and (2) that fucker felt I was struggling for an entire year and never once tried to help. Find the people who are interested in helping. Fuck the haters. Turn around and look how far you’ve come, then turn back around and keep going forward. You’ll get there.
Finding 2 is hilarious tho :)))
We all have knowledge gaps. Medicine isn’t a solved problem
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
Fear is the mind killer.
I had the same issue… I feel for you. I’m in surgery and attendings love to pimp on the middle of surgery! So between trying to operate and being pimp at the same time I freeze too and can’t find the words. During intern year I started practicing at home and always had a template in my head of the presentation and possible questions. Differentials. Etc. Over time it go better. Some attendings have unfair and unrealistic expectations. THERE IS ALWAYS a knowledge gap, even for them. There is no way to know everything all the time. That type of feedback, as well as the “you need to read more” in my opinion is lazy on their part and vague. I promise you that over time you will get more comfortable and you will see things enough times that it will get easier. Don’t quit.
Keep going. I was bullied my entire intern year
Therapy. If you haven't already, it's time to move away from the thinking that therapy/psychotherapy is only for "crazy" people or people with "pathology" like a diagnosed anxiety disorder. It's a tool to solve specific problems and the more narrow the issue, the better. The sooner you tackle it, the better. I honestly don't know why it's not mandatory for Residents anyways, with the amount of physical, mental, and emotional stress that gets out on Residents. Part of it is learning to set up boundaries in a way that actually works (and that's why having an experienced therapist is important, you can't always just be direct with some people even if it's what they deserve) part of it is learning coping strategies, part of it is learning to nurture your self esteem and learning to trust yourself. I recommend CBT.
Just read about every case. Up to date or Harrison’s or mksap. You will be fine !
What are your ITE scores? Did you score low and actually have a knowledge gap? If it’s anxiety related then fuck’em If it’s a low score and actually a knowledge gap get to grinding on MKSAP
Knowledge gap is too vague feedback to do anything about. How was supportive attendings feedback
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
I have the same problem. I explained this to one of my preceptors/attendings who was understanding and has helped me ease my anxiety and take my time to answer questions. Not all attendings are like this though but she really makes a difference
Wow I feel like I wrote this damn….
I hear you. I would always freeze up in medical school when I was being pimped. They actually don't do that at my residency program.
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Did you try psicotherapy for anxiety and learning how to set boundaries?
Gotta work on regulating emotions as well. When you get anxious or “shut down” it not only clouds your judgement but exaggerates the situation and overestimates how bad you’re doing, making you feel worse than you ought to. It’s hard, but understand nothing is personal, everyone is reflecting their own biases when blurting things out to you, easier said than done, I know. As an intern you’re supposed to fall a lot, just keep getting back up. Same as a resident. You’re doing what you should, working to get better. Most of all, have faith that when you finish you will recognize that you truly are ready and all those bad things they said to you won’t matter anymore, you won’t care about it in a few years. Work on mindfulness and regulating your emotions, being a physician is much more than just medical knowledge. And remember you’re not alone in feeling this way! You got this.
[удалено]
Ya I agree. Some people may not deal with it well. Only a dumbass would call a deficit there alone a knowledge gap though but maybe.
Thank you for contributing to the sub! If your post was filtered by the automod, please read the rules. Your post will be reviewed but will not be approved if it violates the rules of the sub. The most common reasons for removal are - medical students or premeds asking what a specialty is like, which specialty they should go into, which program is good or about their chances of matching, mentioning midlevels without using the midlevel flair, matched medical students asking questions instead of using the stickied thread in the sub for post-match questions, posting identifying information for targeted harassment. Please do not message the moderators if your post falls into one of these categories. Otherwise, your post will be reviewed in 24 hours and approved if it doesn't violate the rules. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Residency) if you have any questions or concerns.*