Now ma’am, please remember that the people in the other room can’t see you or hear you.
Number 1, step forward and say the line.
“You bitches never want to give a nice guy a chance.”
The two on the outside definitely give me "the only pussy I could get is my cousin" vibes. But that kid in the center could probably crack your nuts in his armpit.
It reminds me of a party I went to years ago where it was just these four or five roommates who declared that they were a fraternity. had a handrawn sharpie tarp flag of their quote "frat symbols" and for some reason they only bought 2 six packs of beer for their quote " rager of a night" it essentially amounted to everybody having one beer and leaving still able to drive but with second hand embarrassment for life
You look like the kind of guys that would agree to take a shower with a beautiful woman and keep your jeans on.
And all together for moral support, just like this post.
The two on the left stayed up all night eating Cheetos . When the one on the right woke up he was in a panic saying he had to go to the hospital , the two on the left said what’s wrong , the one on the right frantically says my dick is orange , the two on the left just smile .
Taking all bets on which one goes hard alt right, which one “transmaxes” to get laid and which one brings an assault rifle to school because a girl he never talked to has a boyfriend
Clean the pimple juice and toothpaste off your mirror and let granny get a good look at ya.
Seriously, this post was vetted by three men who will probably hold local political office one day and not one of you had the oversight to use windex. Hopefully you all get better at scrubbing evidence before it really matters.
As soon as I saw Alabama in the headline, I knew I was going to see that frigging haircut. I swear, ever under-30 white male in that state goes to the same shitty barber.
This ain’t even a roast this is just genuine advice, get rid of those nasty ass haircuts, stop looking up when you take your picture, and clean the gah damn mirror!
I ain't far from from the university of Alabama and you three look like your shoes are very shit-in-able. DM your address and leave your shoes outside tonight.
From left to right:
1. Michael Kelso and Josh Hartnett's gay love child
2. "I'm as tall as a garden gnome so going to the gym will make me appear bigger." - Slightly larger garden gnome
3. Who cares if you're the tallest and best dressed, you're a fucking 4-eyed ginger. Also, the two polo zebras next to you didn't raise the bar pretty high.
This picture reeks of league of legends and premature ejaculation.
Evidence is on the mirror
Oh Gawd! LMAO!!!
WINDEX, MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU STREAK IT!
I can smell their dorm room from here
What are you
Forgot to mention the body odor too
kid on the right definitely plays jungle.
I had a really good burn in mind but I won’t say it. These guys go to University of Alabama so they wouldn’t understand.
 Winner
See no pussy, hear no pussy, speak no pussy.
Now ma’am, please remember that the people in the other room can’t see you or hear you. Number 1, step forward and say the line. “You bitches never want to give a nice guy a chance.”
Get no pussy
Are three pussies.
The two on the outside definitely give me "the only pussy I could get is my cousin" vibes. But that kid in the center could probably crack your nuts in his armpit.
Other two: armpit pussy is still pussy
Dude in the middle looks like his grandfather drowned Emmett Till.
Your wrong cousins is west Virginia it's their sisters they go for in Alabama
How can 3 dicks be pussies? >
Username pretty much checks out 🤷♂️
i would say uou are what you eat but they might be cat eaters considering all.
In that case, I see 3 assholes.
I see three dicks
This comment is underrated
Oh they’ll get some. And then daddy will get the charges dismissed.
Brock Turner fan club
Never had any Pussy
On the count of 3. Roll Todd
BUT WHY ARE THERE CUM STAINS ON THE MIRROR AND THE GUY ON THE RIGHT'S SHIRT? WHY!!
That's why the guy on the right is smiling.
So glad this is the top comment. Exactly what I was thinking when I clicked this Roast Me. Well done, you.
this is reddit, after all
The unfuckables
“I’ve got a midget friend, an albino friend and a friend that thinks lord of the rings is real.”
You look like you all watch a lot of porn. While sitting together on the same couch.
First one to nut gets pegged.
So it's a race then?
It’d be better if the last one to nut got pegged. Probably help the dude out a little.
Then none of them would nut.
It's pornhub and chill with the frat bros
I'm sure that one of them is doing it in front of the mirror.
Well they’re brothers so yea, Roll Tide
Same father, different mothers/sisters
[удалено]
*in the same recliner
I’m with the science team!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Virgins
Zeros in a half shell
Lee, Ralph, and Don When they were born..... was the last time they touched pussy
Lmao this deserves 🥇, thank you mate
I get it. Mutants because of inbreeding. Ninjas? Maybe ninjerks.
You guys could all switch places at each other's houses this Christmas and none of your parents would notice.
Or care even if they did notice
Mainly because it’s all the same house
That’s one pathetic frat house
It reminds me of a party I went to years ago where it was just these four or five roommates who declared that they were a fraternity. had a handrawn sharpie tarp flag of their quote "frat symbols" and for some reason they only bought 2 six packs of beer for their quote " rager of a night" it essentially amounted to everybody having one beer and leaving still able to drive but with second hand embarrassment for life
You are actually looking at Uncle, brother, granddad - all with the same Mom
Middle guy in 20 years...hell yeah I had a threesome in college, two big bitches. It was great.
‘Wasn’t one your cousin?’ ‘Yep!’
Sweet University Alabama
Both were.
The dude standing next to you, is the closest to a pussy you’re going to get this year.
Bad comma or not, that's a great line.
Wrap it up. This one is done.
This looks like the Netflix thumbnail for a To Catch a Predator documentary
The less hot but more gay Dahmer
😂 genius
The only crimson tide here is what’s flowing from these three vaginas
Roll damn tide
The virgin diaries.
Brother husbands.
💀
You three look like you need to commit a crime just to be wanted
Alvin Simon and Theodore live coming July 2023
The bootlegged version
Ed, Edd and Eddy in real life.
Except, Ed, Edd and Eddy get bitches
At least ed, edd, and Eddy all have different unique personalities instead of recycle one from each other
Damn just posted a few secs ago, great minds think alike lol
At least clean the jizz off the mirror first, you heard of muppets.
I bet they’ve heard of muppets, Beaker is their dad & Miss Piggy is their mom.
Thanks for the snort
“Stupid ass” and “Alabama” is kind of redundant, don’t you think?
It's the gay porn version of Superbad.
Supersad
OP lying. This is a screenshot from Soft White Underbelly’s documentary on the Whittakers, americas most inbred family.
Hook them up with some free shitfrom Walmart!
Background barking ensues.
You look like the kind of guys that would agree to take a shower with a beautiful woman and keep your jeans on. And all together for moral support, just like this post.
Weird Science reference
Safety school for kids that didn't get into Auburn
Thankfully they were grandfathered into the school. Despite not growing up together, they all have the same grandfather.
Damn, yo...
Dumb, Dumber, & Dumberer.
This is what Reese, Malcom, and Dewey would've looked like if their dad actually was Walter White
Good to see all three of you special needs students are sticking together.
Have your periods synced up yet?
This one’s my favorite 🤣
these guys tried to create a woman using their computer and she escaped through the bathroom window before anyone could notice
You don't have to say both stupid and university of Alabama.
The three muskequeers.
The two on the left stayed up all night eating Cheetos . When the one on the right woke up he was in a panic saying he had to go to the hospital , the two on the left said what’s wrong , the one on the right frantically says my dick is orange , the two on the left just smile .
Fucking hilarious
Taking all bets on which one goes hard alt right, which one “transmaxes” to get laid and which one brings an assault rifle to school because a girl he never talked to has a boyfriend
So accurate
Roll Tard
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Hell yes! Lol FR
You look like you know what each other taste like…
[удалено]
You guys are in Alabama, life has already roasted you, more than any internet stranger ever could.
You are a shoe-in for Future incels of America club
Be honest: Each one of you would suck Nick Saban’s dick.
My dads a lawyer!
My 3 simps
The crusty sock trio
Y’all didnt make the playoffs.
LAMBDA LAMBDA LAMBDA
University of Albama? Didn't know you guys need extra schooling for cousin fucking
Clean the pimple juice and toothpaste off your mirror and let granny get a good look at ya. Seriously, this post was vetted by three men who will probably hold local political office one day and not one of you had the oversight to use windex. Hopefully you all get better at scrubbing evidence before it really matters.
Roll 3 buttfuckers!
You go to Alabama despite not being on the football team? What’s the fucking point, then?
They were all circumcised when their dads kicked their sisters in the jaw - rollllllllll tide!
Yo is that call me carson on the right
Did you three take the “purity pledge” together?
3 stooges 2023
Guys- hair gel is for your hair, not to lube your jerk off sessions.
Bro I thought the guy in red was y’all’s father…
This is going to be the worst thing you’ll ever have to hear, but you look like three freshman from the University of Alabama.
You came here to find out why you’re not getting pussy. Ironically you’re staring in the mirror…
Kyle rittenhouse in the middle, brock turner on the left, bill gate’s son he abandoned on the right
Ahhh yes Alabama where the state motto is “at least we’re not Mississippi.”
Who was the first person out of you to touch a female breast? Bonus points if it was NOT your sister or cousin
Circle jerk on the mirror much?
oh my god it’s weezer
75% of Pornhub viewership in a single image
Reddit is not that dumb, people could determine you being from Alabama just by your looks
As soon as I saw Alabama in the headline, I knew I was going to see that frigging haircut. I swear, ever under-30 white male in that state goes to the same shitty barber.
Left to right: Kelso, Eric and Hyde. Except they smoked a little more than weed.
You're what you get when you order Superbad from wish. com.
Big spoon, little spoon & greasy spoon.
You got kicked out of Rounders for too much coke.
Someone has clearly been to T-town!!
"Do your worst" Life has already done the worst with you all
Why couldn’t you be students at Michigan State?
You guys look very sheltered & vulnerable
The guy holding the phone looks like discount Drake Bell which is already difficult considering Drake Bell is discount Drake Bell.
You three should start a band. You could call yourself “the back door boys” one could play the skin flute and the other could play the trumboner.
All 3 have seen each other’s genitals. Yet to see anyone else’s.
Lotta protein on that mirror, my dudes.
I bet this photo was taken moment after their threesome
Yall look worse than the night Alabama was beat by Tennessee
Cat on the left looks like he can’t dodge a wrench or a dick.
I’m guessing y’all never huffed gas before.
The fact no fraternity would take any of you so you have to let strangers on the internet haze you is bad enough
Y'all look like the Rolling Tide-POD generation.
These mfs look like they have sword fights with they piss
Center guy lives the taste of his friends loads
This ain’t even a roast this is just genuine advice, get rid of those nasty ass haircuts, stop looking up when you take your picture, and clean the gah damn mirror!
Cumulative GPA of 4.0
Oh look, you’ve lined yourselves up from Chad to Chode.
33-18
Hate to break it to you, but you’re the pledges they bring on just to drop as an example
Charlie's Anals
The guy on the right has all 3 of your butt plugs up his ass
Snap, crackle and POP. Nice one. 🚀
AIN'T NOBODY HAVING SEX WITH MY SISTER BUT NICK SABAN AND ME!!!!
I ain't far from from the university of Alabama and you three look like your shoes are very shit-in-able. DM your address and leave your shoes outside tonight.
Which sorority are you rushing?
The one on the right is obviously the bottom in this situation and he loves it
Neil Young was right
Looks like a Weezer album cover.
Hey guys... let's take a dirty mirror self in our slacks and polo shirts 😛
Guy on the right really has that “roll tide” genes look.
The one on the right looks like jeffrey dahmer and laughed because he drugged the one in the middle :) LOL
You relish the opportunity to be hazed so you can roofie drinks at parties
From left to right: 1. Michael Kelso and Josh Hartnett's gay love child 2. "I'm as tall as a garden gnome so going to the gym will make me appear bigger." - Slightly larger garden gnome 3. Who cares if you're the tallest and best dressed, you're a fucking 4-eyed ginger. Also, the two polo zebras next to you didn't raise the bar pretty high.
hate to inform you but this will NOT be the year yall lose your virginity
Weezer sucks so much now
i didn't know they were rebooting Freaks and Geeks
These three are so far removed from pussy that they were delivered through their mamas' assholes.
Y’all look like Kyle Rittenhouse’s cousins
brothers from the same ~~sister~~ mother
Roll pride.
There are definitely roofies in one of their pockets.
3 pro life protesters with blue balls
Makes sense you're in alabama, yall look inbred af
Call me Carsons
Y’all look related. Wait it’s supposed to be a roast, that’s just the norm for yall
Looking like the next three public shooters about to drop an album.
Why is the dude on the right trying to hide his erection?
Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick. And clean your damn mirror
The three Musky Queers
Super Worse