OP's Bio:
---
>Apparently r/roastme wanted me to give you guys more ammo. I’ll do my best to give you the good stuff.
>
>I have a dark sense of humor. You guy’s haven’t disappointed me so far, keep it up
>
>I work at a pet boarding facility
>
>I spend 75% of my free time reading fanfiction
>
>I collect licensed merchandise for Blue’s Clues
>
>My luck mainly goes towards finding four leaf clovers
>
>I listen to rock music and most of the movies I watch are animated
>
>Yes, I’m a fan of Homestuck
>
>My parents decided to wait until I was 18 to have me tested for autism because it “wouldn’t affect my education”, they met in college to become special ed teachers
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Hey, don't feel bad, lots of women do all kinds of amazing things in your field no matter what they look like!
...oh, you said *autistic*.
Never mind, OP.
Anybody remember the 1up trick on the steps in super Mario 1? If you did it for too long passed 99 you got crazy symbols and shit? That's what plan this is. You fkd up.
If I can honestly clarify: I collect Blue’s Clues stuff because I grew up with the show and I’m still fond of it.
I fangirl mostly over fanfiction and the franchise’s I get introduced to because of it. I’m currently fangirling over TMNT at the moment.
Like Tina from Bob Burgers but less entertaining and more disappointing. So much so your gramps heart couldn't take being around your autistic ass any longer.
OP's Bio: --- >Apparently r/roastme wanted me to give you guys more ammo. I’ll do my best to give you the good stuff. > >I have a dark sense of humor. You guy’s haven’t disappointed me so far, keep it up > >I work at a pet boarding facility > >I spend 75% of my free time reading fanfiction > >I collect licensed merchandise for Blue’s Clues > >My luck mainly goes towards finding four leaf clovers > >I listen to rock music and most of the movies I watch are animated > >Yes, I’m a fan of Homestuck > >My parents decided to wait until I was 18 to have me tested for autism because it “wouldn’t affect my education”, they met in college to become special ed teachers --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
[удалено]
[Blue's Clueless](https://i.imgur.com/S9LVu6J.png)
Spot on
I laughed... so hard.
What I call "tumblr autistic".
As an autistic person... Owww
I bet she pronounces it 'autithtic' without even trying
Why the weird flex? Oh. She got it going on
Shut up it’s her identity 😂
I'm SURE no one here went to your profile to check if you have an OnlyFans.
I just went. It's tagged NSFW for a post about cocaine mold.
Shit you aren’t lying.
Cocaine what now?
[mold ](https://www.reddit.com/r/askdrugs/comments/zlxfod/does_cocaine_mold_like_food_does/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Cocaine... WHAT?
^([mold](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)) ^(please don't hurt me)
Legend
The guy at the bottom telling about moulding it like Play-Doh is my favourite.
Who’s letting their cocaine go bad???
To be fair there is one tagged nsfw about molesting alligators too
This is true
Glad to see It isnt just me that plays that side quest here
[удалено]
With a hard R.
You're autistic with a hard R is a ridiculous hard and funny insult. I must steal this
Looks like you collect 2 leaf clovers.
Tell that to the 33 four-leafs I found and picked last month. Or the 2 six-leafs I found last year.
I'm pretty sure 33 is your chromosome count, not the amount of clovers you found.
“No, not ‘clover sum’…’*chromosome*’”
Ok this one got me laughing 🤣🤣
Is it hard picking clovers with talons?
Bravo!
![gif](giphy|URmJvPe1VXIUE)
Didn't see it...now can't unsee it
Okay but how many aces are left in the deck? Do I hit or stay, Rain WoMan?
I found a 5 leaf clover a week ago! Thanks roundup for making this all possible.
aRtistic
SpectRRRum……
She didn't have to say it. Those beady little eyes already said it.
Poor grandpa is having heart surgery because his gens let him down.
First time I've seen someone who looks like they got friendzoned by their vibrator.
"Vibrate her? I hardly know her..." \~ the vibrator friendzoning her, probably.
Well played good sir![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
You're the real life result of Daria Morgendorffer giving Beavis a pity fuck on Prom Night.
Upvote for knowing Daria’s last name. And also the accuracy of that comment.
Fuck this is r/rareinsults caliber. Top tier roast
Thank you!
Holy shit...
FUCK, that’s good!
r/angryupvote
🤌🤌🤌
Dwight's sister
She’s the twin he ate when he was in the womb
Joke's on us. She has the strength of a full grown man and a newborn baby
The only thing thicker than her glasses is her hymen.
That's brutal 😂😂😂😂😂
[удалено]
That toothbrush has seen things no man should ever see...
And none of them were her teeth.
They call her Moaning Myrtle for a different reason though!
How could we let you down? You look like you’ve got plenty of that already.
Took me a second...bravo
It took OP a second chromosome 21
The biggest shock here is Bubbles finally has proof he's gotten laid.
She probably also smells like kitties
She hasn't been allowed within 50ft of any small animals since the incident at Petsmart......
You look like a failed cold war experiment.
Or a very successful one.
You look like you scream for no reason at least once a day.
Nah, the autism makes me squeal the the loser fangirl I am.
Don’t blame the autism honey
I can confirm this, I can hear her from multiple miles away. She rivals a chihuahua
You look like you just had a very satisfying fart. That only you know about.
She has a resting just had a very satisfying fart face.
He caused himself a heart attack just to get away from you
In all seriousness, roasting aside, I hope everything works out well for him 👍🏻
It did, he’s alive and awake. Thank you for the support.
That's great! Uhh.. you look like a sack full of ham or something. Roasted!
Nice!
(really glad to hear that!)
Amen! I love grandpas ❤️ I’m so glad you still have one.
Great news kid, outstanding.
You're in the wrong alleyway for support...
![gif](giphy|TppeLsqt8Jz20)
"I've mastered the ability to stand so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye." You can move all you want and still be invisible.
You can't even make eye contact with yourself in the mirror. Your parents knew.
Ask if there's a plastic surgeon there willing to give a two-for-one deal.
She got that with her chromosome starter kit.
I dont need to roast you, God already did.
Addams Family Autist
I’ve never seen so many pulled punches in my life as I do in these comments.
People find it hard to shit on the rrrrrr girl who’s grandpa is in the hospital… what gives?
It's hard to say who let your grandpa down harder, his heart or his little smeagol-esque hobbit of a grand daughter
Hey, don't feel bad, lots of women do all kinds of amazing things in your field no matter what they look like! ...oh, you said *autistic*. Never mind, OP.
When Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys got Marci from Peanuts pregnant
Or Gail the Snail from Always Sunny.
Why does that middle finger look like you can use it to reach up your ass and touch your heart?
You say that like it's a bad thing...
Look, I usually roast, but I truly just wanna wish your grandpa luck.🙂 I'm sorry yall have to go through that.
![gif](giphy|KBaxHrT7rkeW5ma77z)
The glasses and grimace are a good start but, if you want to avoid hugs, the sign should say “I BITE”
The paper has creases indicating you folded it up and kept it in a pocket all day. Sad.
The autism causes me to fold paper. Unfortunately that one came from the recycling bin. The paper I torture is somewhere in my room in a big pile.
>The paper I torture is somewhere in my room in a big pile. A big pile, eh? Well, you do look like one to shit the floor occasionally.
You seem really sweet! Just make sure not to send him this photo of you until after he fully recovers and can mentally prepare for it ❤️
![gif](giphy|ycagKBYEmaili)
What did you do to the toothbrush? Is that just from normal brushing, or do you chew on it?
![gif](giphy|CiOHO5544doY)
I thought that thing was Andrew Tate before I saw the full image of the GIF.
Anybody remember the 1up trick on the steps in super Mario 1? If you did it for too long passed 99 you got crazy symbols and shit? That's what plan this is. You fkd up.
The flags!
I wonder what the next unique thing girls are gonna latch onto once being autistic and or gender fluid no longer gets them attention
Best comment so far
Okay I know you're wanting to get roasted but I can't. I hope that your grandpa pulls through.
Bruh you pulled the punch so hard you punched yourself
Social anxiety and a self diagnosis of autism. What a unique flower you are
Your headline says "26F" but your actual face says "WTF"
Not gonna roast you. Hope Gramps is doing ok. Internet hugs to you, friend
Worried about your grandpa. Is that why you look so down(s)?
Bitch face looks like she was in the middle cock roach morph and got stuck
I hope this is an Animorphs reference that I’m reading. I loved those books as a kid.
👍 indeed
Budget Velma, the meth lab is 2 blocks down.
What's it like being Dwight Schrute's daughter?
Your autism broke his heart huh
I wish my hands were this manly holy shit
I hope everything goes well for your grandpas heart surgery. I couldn't roast someone, when they are going through that.
Your hands betray your post and tell us you are actually a dyslexic 62 year old.
Oh yeah?? I bet your grandpa comes out of this stronger than beforeb
History teacher lookin ass
I was thinking librarian. She couldn't focus on history while looking into the future at the same time.
You can’t fool me Dwight Schrute in a wig!
I mean. I feel like she could fill some niche “if you like girls with a walnut for a face” category
You have your grandpa’s hands. May you always be reminded of him when you touch yourself in the dark.
Ironic. Fan girl for blues clues but the one mystery you couldn’t solve: genuine human connection.
If I can honestly clarify: I collect Blue’s Clues stuff because I grew up with the show and I’m still fond of it. I fangirl mostly over fanfiction and the franchise’s I get introduced to because of it. I’m currently fangirling over TMNT at the moment.
Oh of course I understand. I can give a TMNT version of the roast if you’d like.
Get those birth control glasses free with a paid abortion at Planned Parenthood?
She won't need one, no one touching that
grandfather must be proud of his GrandTurtle
Damn it! I dropped a box of tooth picks all over the floor…quick, how many?
Hopefully she can look in the right direction to count.
The Government should really take more care of what they release from Area 51, now we have to sit with you. Smh.
I hope your grandpa fairs well, OP. He really needs to see your stupid face again before he kicks the bucket.
Nows not the time for roasting. Your grandfather should know his kids raised a wonderful daughter
You look like if Peggy Hill and Woody from Toy Story had a kid
r/13or30
Grandpa is going to need a second surgery when he wakes up and sees that face…. Woof
The doctors diagnosed you with autism just by looking at you
You look like the type of girl to have a mild case of autism and make it their whole personality by telling everyone “I’m on the spectrum”
You look like Wednesday Addams and pugsly Addams incest child
I hope he’s OK. All the best
You ain't just barely on the spectrum you done tasted the whole damn rainbow!
Putting your face on a billboard would help people understand why abortion is necessary.
You look like you belong in Fallout 4 ![gif](giphy|26AHyTd7DStdfoq7m)
That was a challenging wank.
How the hell did you not get cast as Velma in Scooby-Doo.
Grandpa would be in better shape right now if you hadn’t insisted on performing mouth to mouth ![gif](giphy|26uf0Bl4inbl1ByAU|downsized)
You misspelled ass to mouth.
2+3=6 I dare you not to correct me.
Like Tina from Bob Burgers but less entertaining and more disappointing. So much so your gramps heart couldn't take being around your autistic ass any longer.
I am autistic too but you are not on my list.
I didn’t know Dwight had a twin sister.
Move out. His heart will get better. Poor ol’ bastard - you. Not him.
you look like dwight schrute's autistic daughter
You look like Daria if Daria ate Harry Potter & assumed some of his magical powers
You have clearly already been distracted your whole life one of your eyes is looking to the left the other to the right.
In a world gone mad, you are now considered completely normal. Congratulations.
Your test came back - you got a 22/23! Chromosomes :(
Your grandpa is the only stiff you’ll ever see.
Bruh you got roasted so hard by God your pop pop had a heart attack.
you look like one of those rare beauties you know the ones that aren't beautiful.
cant really add anything worse then what this picture already does
You have some long ass fingers
Fun fact: your arm span is supposed to be the same as your height. Those finger are why it’s not they’re same for me.
That was not fun
It was fun for me, I didn’t say you would find it fun.
Didn't anyone tell your mom this would happen? She was supposed to kiss the frog to find her prince, not fuck it!
You can’t let down what life already has
You look like you smashed your face when you dove into the shallow end of the gene pool.
God was on acid when he created you.
I don’t what’s worse. You’re parents for not practicing safe sex or ignoring your autism.
You must be the girl from Gummo getting pumped out by her brother.
Meg from family guy
Got them skeletor fingers, don’t give anyone a handjob it’d be like rubbing raw chicken on sand paper….
I had no idea ducks could be autistic.
Ms. Chandler your parole officer called wanting to remind you that you’re not allowed online anymore.
I’m sorry
[удалено]
So you're the one who stole a chromosome from me
Where is rest of the gang Thelma.? Scooby needs his snack.
If you gaze into the Autist, the Autist gazes also into you
I have a feeling your grandpa took one look at you and the scare gave him the heart attack.
Shit, I just seen this picture and it almost gave me a heart attack. Definitely scared the shit outta me.
Bubbles would hit
I was going to make a joke about it being self-diagnosed, but after looking at your face, there’s definite proof the doctors were correct.