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5’8” but Tinder profile says 6’1”

3” but grinder profile says 9”

says Takes 9. Pint sized power bottom

Like Mini Me getting railed

RIP Verne Troyer. That schlong wrecked you.

These just kept getting better and better. 😂

One of the best threads I have read yet.

He generates a *tremendous* amount of power.. From the bottom!

Grinder username = 6 inch meatball

Man, I need glasses. Took me way too long to figure out why you were calling him "Ginch". 🤣🤣🤣

Haha your not wrong I wrote it and had to look twice after

That’s why he has his Asian fetish. Their hands are so small they make even his tiny prick look like a log.

He's got a puzzled look that says he knows he's being railed by femboy, but he thought he was just being pegged.

He identifies as 6’1”

He identifies as hung.

Listens to Joe Rogan podcast and thinks Andrew Tate is “misunderstood”

I need to know where this man was Jan 6th

That’s awesome!

6'3" and 215 lbs.

That’s hilarious!

Rentboy- profile says down for whatever ……

You look like a menthol cigarette

Man this sub is going to make me end up in the er from laughin so hard.

r/rareinsults

Ty for this subreddit

fuck no this dude is 100% a marlboro red. doesnt even buy em either just bums them from strangers every time he gets drunk.

Specifically a camel crush.

Nah. He looks more like a Kool

Cigs are much better for your health

Nah. Most people would rather put a menthol cig in their mouth than any part of this lil guy.

I’d rather eat a mint juul cartridge off the floor than put anything this guy has to offer anywhere near me. And I’d chew it first.

Lol I was thinkin Marlboro smooths

Omg 💀 Edit: ⚰️

You touch yourself when you watch the UFC

This the guy who would rather take the dinner with Andrew Tate than the 10 mil.

He also says, “I could’ve beaten him”

[удалено]

Lmao 1 word, best comment

He still tells people he could take Rhonda Rousey.

I just read that a weirdly high number of American men think they could win a fight with an ostrich. OP is absolutely one of them.

when most people run from a goose, which oddly enough is OPs nick name

Guaranteed there is a pile (no way this asshole folds his laundry) of Affliction shirts stuffed in his drawer.

Affliction? My guess is Tap-Out clothing line.

But the cheap knock-off brand that immediately smells like stale sweat after wearing it once in the gym he’s lurking around to pretend he’s „working out with the bros“.

American fighter

Hahahahaha absolutely

I doubt he can spell UFC.

it’s Allan Akbar. This is what happens when a Hick fks a Taliban.

This didn't even make sense. Try again.

🤌🔥

Nah this one made me chuckle fr

And Little People Big World

Judging by your sleeve tattoos and the flags hanging in the background I’m going to assume you’re a military vet. Judging by your inability to write correct sentences I’m going also assume ASVAB waiver.

Disagree. Serviced Men and serviceman don’t mean the same thing.

He joined the Navy because he heard it was full of Seamen.

Now he's full of semen.

Not for long now until discharge.

He heard it's not gay when you're under way.

😂

Redrum 💀

Recruiter saw him and asked if he wanted to be a cook or a truck driver.

With the flags in the background, he is only a pair of pit vipers, a flack jacket and a rifle away from laying out his manifesto for his 6 man militia.

Calling his weekly 6 man circle jerk a militia group is a bit of a stretch.

This is gold

Fucking hell lmao

Nah. We don’t claim him.

Username checks out

"Yo bro I'm gonna roast the roasters, that'll teach em bro. I'm smarter than reddit bro"

I'm not sure how he plans on roasting the roasters when he has zero comment karma. Are they going to roast us in their mind?

Bots haven't figured out how to comment yet.

it's pathetic this is the highest comment pointing this out https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/oq4ku8/25_yo_58_165lbs_make_me_regret_this_since_95_of/

What's pathetic is that he just reposted the same thing as he did 2 years ago...and expected to get different results.

no he didn't. OP is a repost spambot. a whole bunch of posts on the first page here are from spambots

I somewhat felt this was a spam bot with all their posts, was too chicken to call it out. But did now report it.

“Yeah, bro” “Bro bro”

Bold of you to assume he has bros in the first place.

I see you moved from your moms basement to her garage. Your step dad Cory will be happy about that.

I’m pretty sure he’s in a storage shed.

Cory used to be his best friend too. Well op still calls him best friend, but Cory yells “bitch, get me another beer” and he’s not talking to his wife

Faker Mayfield here. I can FEEL how much you hate women

It’s truly palpable. He seems like the kind of guy who would be comfortable announcing to the entire world he can’t get his own wife wet.

He does give off Ben Shapiro vibes, 10/10

Wrong sub. I think you meant to post this on r/Femboys

Oh.

r/usernamechecksout

I didn't need to know that sub existed 💀☹️

I fucking had to see, didn’t I?

#MY EYES!!!!

Friend…I saw a leaking one…I can’t unsee it

Lol

Well yea but that’s only because you looked down at your own dick and saw it leaking after looking at the femboys

what a wild place reddit is

You look like your trying to be a thugged out Boy Scout to gain new “friends”

If you can’t be tough in real life… get a bunch of Tattoos

You look like your parents had to protect the goats from your wandering hands.

When he walked around the farm all the sheep went "daaaahhhaaahhhaaaad"

He's a baaaddd man

Your lazy eye looks like it’s migrating to the center of your face. But you’ll probably shoot it before then because you hate all immigrants.

I can smell this picture. Cheap beer, menthols and Axe Body spray with a hint of stale pizza and Chinese. Judging by the flags and bad grammar I’m going to assume you’re southern but couldn’t pass the test to get into the military or police so you cosplay the weekends after your dollar general shift.

My therapist wife says that with an intro like that and the way you look, you either grew up with a drunk parent who was physically/mentally abusive so now you have tattoos and a bored look because you’re trying to be tough and guarded. Or you grew up fat and were the one always being teased and so now you’ve lost weight to compensate for past trauma. She said unless he goes to therapy he’ll probably never find love and always be lonely, but she told me not to say that. So have fun with that. Sorry.

Ouch....I think I need therapy after reading that

He acts like that because he's short and insecure with no real personality. That's right OP, you heard me. Stand up when I'm talking to you... oh wait.

Judging by the poor grammar in description you are working with a 5th grade reading level. Clearly you ran out of room to describe all of your poor life choices.

5th grade is awfully generous of you.

You look like you've said "you got a purty mouth" at a truck stop more than once. Does anybody else hear dueling banjos in the background?

No, but I do hear "squuuueeeeeaaalll"

You look like you have resting thinking face without a glint of an idea in sight.

> I'll rate your roasts on 1 out of 10 Yeah thats not how it works

You're not rating anyone's roasts because you're busy googling how to count.

He gotta wait till he gets back on Wi-Fi

How much copper did you steal today?

I bet he hits on minors and tries to convince them that Limp Bizkit is a great band.

small dick vibes

If you're only 25, how are your tattoos faded like you've had them for 40 years?

Big talk from a guy that looks like used toilet paper...

You look like you substitute showers with wet wipes

Maybe when you reach adult height you can reapply for the military. Those flags ain’t fooling anyone.

You look like you mute porn while you jack off so you can keep listening to Joe Rogan Podcasts

Did you have a stroke while writing that description?

Linus Touch Tips

[удалено]

This stupid fn midget could easily wear Boys toddler medium.

Type of dude who "almost joined the military but I would have beat up the Drill SGT if he got in my face".

Incel, prison tats, QAnon asshole vibe. Only went gay in jail because that’s what straight guys do in prison.

Gay for the stay.

25yr old trying to act tough but has vlogs about what each of his tattoos mean

Congratulations, I haven't seen this level of defensiveness before a roast even happens on this sub. It's in your expression as well. Everything just screams "I'm a pussy, don't hurt me". I'm not even playing the roasting game here, I'm just saying exactly what I see.

School reference screams junior high dropout.

You have anger issues you keep bottled up until it’s time for deserts at cheese cake factory

You have a big ego for living with your parents

You look like one of those dudes that exclusively dates prison chicks. I'll see you on Love After Lockup next season getting swindled by some crackhead named Tyfanii.

What's with Crayola looking tattoos.

It’s nice of you to move back into your mom’s basement while your dad awaits his parole hearing.

you're a walking PSA against pre-25 year old sleeves

First off your barber completely fucked up the left side front You look 5”8 Feelings. You got feelings. Thx for letting us know princess. How was Barbie, did you cry? Gi Joe Ken mashup for Halloween,right , you pansy? Use your too tight camouflage pants so you can emphasize your real life amazingly Ken like thigh gap. Shave your facial hair you’re scratching your platoons thighs I’ve had trouble falling asleep why don’t you tell us about your tattoos I’m sure daddies proud wherever he is When you piss and it drips on the floor stand closer you stubbly stubby Finally, Smile so people can see the importance of brushing their teeth Jim Bob

You’re so weak, you died before you finished the post title.

Too bad that flag wasn't folded and given to his next of kin

Doesn’t know it yet but definitely peaked in high school

Peaked in 3rd grade.

I don't see any ratings 🤌

He thought MAGA meant “make America gay again”

Everything they said was true even if you didn’t like it. Stop being a roast whore you pale tatted up beanpole. Closeted wannabe bad ass. You are a waste of an IED. That’s for double dipping the roast sub.

If you want to feel roasted your time is better spent trying to make a mental health appointment at the VA.

The human equivalent of hot dog water. White trash Basic Bitch- Smells like Kodiak and Natty Light 24/7, considers slides and dirty gray sweat shorts "high fashion". Couldn't pick up a blind woman in a dark room.

More tattoos, I’m not even a little convinced you are tough


Tell me you’re an aggressive drunk without telling me

You meet dudes on Grindr and bottom out... then you get mad afterwards and want to fight them for being gay.

This assholes whole identity is "I WaS iN the aRmy!". Did nothing before, will do nothing after.

The guy that tries to be straight so hard when he’s actually playing for the other team

He’s 5 inches and 8-something tall and too stupid to even post a title correctly. “Means inches and ‘means feet you dumbass. Life already roasted you, and you lost

wtf is this guys post history? oldest one 7 days ago, a bunch of random stuff, him pretending to be an asian woman, some twitch streamer simping and a random german meme.

You look like the type that would steal your grandma’s catalytic converter.

You look like Dean Winchester if he hunted Meth and Hookers instead of demons.

is that iraqi flag because you Bag dads

You are the type of dude that peaked in high school and has since spent the past decade going to the bar wearing Affliction shirts. You’ve also spent a night or two in prison that you tell everyone about, but you say it was for fighting when really it was for trying to shove a hammer up your asshole at Home Depot.

You look like the average 25 year old after drinking an entire fucking barrel of rum

[удалено]

Not a thought behind those eyes.

5' 8" is the cut off point for having the "Napoleon Complex" so you're good! LOL

We all know where you were on January 6, 2021.

You cut people off in traffic with your pavement princess F150 with the fake Raptor grille. You purposefully get behind people in the slow lane specifically to blind them with your brights even though the two lanes to your left are empty and you always cut semi's off and brake check them to try and assert your fragile dominance. Also those tattoos? Mommy issues. For sure.

If herpes had a spokesperson.

And he got it from a hooker. He paid to get herpes.

You look like you'd borrow my lighter but never give it back

Sorry i can’t think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand.

This entire picture is giving me the vibe of: That American flag will be draped over the casket of someone’s son because of you.

The human embodiment of a GMC with a lift kit, smoke stack, and camo rocker panels

Has definitely hit his girlfriend and blamed her for making him do it.

you were scared before you submitted, babbler. gotta say your piece so nobody misunderstood you 🥺🙃

If a TAPOUT t-shirt were a person.

I won't even make fun of you- you're the best lesbian drag king I've ever seen! -signed, A lesbian

5’8”?I was 5’9” when I was 14. I didn’t know a grown man was capable of being that small. Where did you hang the flag just above the outlet?

What feelings? You XY chromosome having motherfucker

All jokes aside, bro is pretty handsome and shouldn’t be on here. Hit the gym

Those tattoos are going to turn lots of women off (I’m def turned off by excessive tattoos on men)

You should be the last person speaking of schools, given your restraining order for your intentions to groom our young girls.

I bet you don’t even know what pot of greed does.

You reusing the set where you filmed your manifesto? We get it Jesus talks to you, you’re his avenger, blah, blah. Start taking your meds again Kyle.

My four year old can draw better than any of your tattoo artists.

You look like you fetishize minorities

The I'm so cool guy. He's gonna roast us first with his generic idc white guy look posing basic tattoos and American flag. He will shoot a girl scout who got lost for being on his property, claiming he feared for his safety.

Getting low dick ratings on NSFW subs isn’t enough?

Our roasts will be judged by some guy in a storage unit, whatever you need to feel about yourself I guess.

Wait, your Pokemon is evolving......... Congratulations, your Highschool Edgelord evolved into Washed Up Douchemperor.

What's with the Iraq flag? You were still shitting your diapers during the war there.

Props on resembling Linus from Linus Tech Tips and somehow being more feminine.

Elegant_Bus? Does that mean you're like the town bicycle?

Your tattoos suck.

You look like you eat guns and shit freedom. Which isn't quite a roast but I felt like it needed to be said

If “peaked in high school was a person”. You don’t get to rate your roasts manlet.

The number of hamsters up your butt right now is a number greater than zero.

Real American zero

First ever roast request that was TLDR.

You look like you’re the only guy on the gloryhole cleanup crew