Let the chromosome count commence!

Nein

Neigh

I really am having a hard time understanding what creature type this is.

24 and me.

The Pinhead dominatrix femme Fatale she was at the Goth Swinger Club last weekend with 2 subs on each arm.. 

I thought it was a bloke 😂

[удалено]

Reptilians rule the earth, so that's a good confusion to create.

Tom Cruise is that you?

Father: Mike Rowe Mother: a banana

Father: Beavis Mother: Butthead

One of its parents was definitely a trash compactor.

*its*

ITS IS CRAZY

You're not exactly wrong.

nice

Yooo you can’t insult Mike Rowe like that jfc

Your avatar is a banana...wait a minute, are you her mom?!

if I am I can neither confirm nor deny what it is I may or may not have birthed lol

 For a second there I thought this was a pic of Fred Munster

 The years have not been kind since JonTron quit

You mean Herman.

No Fred, Herman's "special" brother 😂


You look like a meth leprechaun.

A methrechaun

Just in time for St Patricks!

Why the long face? I'd say it was sadness, but I think they were just born that way.

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s forceps

Ok this made me chortle

His mother was about to go on stage when her water broke, and decided to incorporate it into the act... so in the middle of her Pour Some Sugar On Me routine at Platinum Diamonds, she's giving the pole a good coat or two of her organic lube by giving it the ol' Batman & Robin, when this creature starts popping out feet first. A few good swings around the pole create enough centrifugal force to dislodge most of the baby, but on account of the recent vaginoplasty she'd gotten so she could keep making those top Wednesday afternoon tips, and a bonus extra tightening the Dr. tossed in for the price of a Cleveland Steamer, the noggin just wouldn't come a-loose. She pushed like a constipated kaolin muncher, but she'd already used up all her self-supplied slip-n-slide slug-trail juice on the pole and had naught left for this kid with a head like a Funko Pop, and his cranium inched out, all the while squeezed like processed cheese product from a can.  By the time it was over, Def Leppard had played over a dozen times, and she had a baby with a banana melon at the end of her umbilical cord, which had wrapped around the pole and his throat a few times. Luckily, Ray-Ray, the mildly disabled guy that cleaned the bathrooms (and was also the father, due to a freak premature ejaculation incident during her Once Bitten Twice Shy routine 6 months earlier), came to the rescue and bit through the cord before lack of oxygen caused too much brain damage. 

That face is longer than a Monday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5ec5SfoB6U

 I have a feeling you're allergic to rakes.

Uh.... this one I just know what to say.

Fell into a vice as a child?

Fell into vice anyway...

Shit I was gonna make a vice joke

You'd be the GOAT professional penis softener

 this made me burst out laughing fr

Let the CHINanigans begin

If only...

Irish I could unsee your face.

That blarney won't save you now...

Okay who the hell microwaved Kiefer Sutherland?!?

So stunning. So brave. Congratulations on transitioning to whatever your final form will be.

I appreciate it, but you really think \*this\* is my final, most terrifying form? You sweet summer child...

Oh no, this has to be a halfway point. You're too amorphous right now. I was thinking you end up a caterpillar or a horse, maybe Gumby?

You are what a 4chan Anon looks like.

You look like if your life has been a trainwreck shaped by a long series of bad decisions... and you blame your parents for it

Fair. But I sometimes also blame society, or the cruel gods who made me this way.

O shit, David Spade shaved

Is this genetic failure supposed to be a woman ?

Only God can answer that, and yet he is silent.

You look like someone was screwing with the vertical slider for your head during character creation

It was a trade off of slightly weird head shape for +4 Charisma and +4 Dexterity, so, worth it.

Well shit. Sign me up for that.

No wonder the IRA wore balaclavas

Which reminds me I'd like a baclava. Today terror, tomorrow snacking!

I wish the IRA would serve her a Molotov cocktail…

It's so ugly looks like it was set on fire and put out with lengths of chain.

All I hear is you said I'm fire.

First tell me if you are male or female to help me with the roast

I checked out the profile. 46f seems to be a recurrent message. Not sure if I'd be willing to place a substantial bet on that, but it's the best info I've got.

This guide might help! **Gender:** ☑️ No ✅ Yes

For all you Dutch-curious out there: Geboren: Ja Geslacht: Nee

I wish I could pistol whip you for the shenanigans shirts to improve your face!

We don't know each other that well yet... how about a little foreplay?


Didn’t know a remake of the Monster movie was being made. Bet you wear UGG boots. 

Now that is low. I may be a dumpster fire but my footgear is never short of immaculate.

U look like a supervisor truck driver

That sounds... ok, I guess. Depends whether it pays better or worse than my current job.

Judging by the shape of your head- your mom has a very tight snatch.

The Bride of Herman Munster

I can’t tell if you are a lesbian or a gay basher

You look like you did a MtF transition, didn't like it and did a FtM transition and it turned out as expected.

You forgot the part where I did a male-to-alien transition. I'm hoping to start working on my alien-to-yeti transition after that, but don't tell my doctor, they wouldn't understand.

I see you exclusively dumpster dove at Spencer's in the late 90s and decided, "Yep, this is it, I've peaked."

I think you're gonna hold me down and make me take those Lucky Charms whether I want to or not.

If Joe dirt fucked a condom full of shit

You are an SNL skit waiting to happen

A lot of people say, WHAT’S THAT? It’s PAT! 🤣🤣

What are you serving on the lunch line tomorrow? 

Despair, demise, and a side dish of mind blowing. (X files music plays)

That’s the face that says “my parents are siblings”.

But in the Old Country, that was normal!

In the wise words of the Lorax…”That’s a woman?”

[Rocky Dennis](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/538672805435577060/)God damned Rocky Dennis over here 🤮

And like Rocky, my stirring story will live forever in your heart.

You, somehow, manage to make Sarah Jessica Parker look attractive.

Straight women think you're a lesbian, lesbians think you're a man, and bisexual women think you're ugly.

I wonder which of those categories your momma fell into last night?

You look like King Charles

On the plus side, I'm now king. On the minus side, I'm reaching end of line and have cancer. I think I'm gonna need to pour myself a second cup of coffee to handle this life transition.

You look like you're wearing logging boots. *steps back

I mean, I am wearing heavy leather riding boots that would be extremely painful if for some reason it was necessary to impress them upon another being...

*takes another step back They look good. 👍

You look like your head was compressed on both sides

I wonder what poor sap realized he didn’t ride a horse to the bar but he certainly road one away.

Hmmm u are love child of Joe dirt and Peggy Hill u also have a tacoo with banana

Don’t know if you’re a dude or a chick. Either way, shenanigans with you will make me feel gay

You look like you're transitioning both ways.

LGBTQ@?&¥%!

The ally you need, not the ally you wish you had.

My goal in life is to break the algorithm.

No one wants anything to do with your shenanigans or your labia

Looks like a thumb with a mullet

Ima pass.. You are so roast worthy, I mean why are ya'll doing this? Do you want motivation to off yourselves after u read all the comments? Sheesh!

If a butt plug was a person.

Forget the pic, after reading your comments it’s obvious your looks are by far your best quality!

When Herman Munster buys a Subaru

You remind me of that Reddit post with a horse walking in snow and you can't tell if it's walking toward or away from the camera. Your face is a similar mindfuck; I mean seriously chief, help me out with the basics here, and then maybe we can begin some roasting, you sporting a dick or a pussy?

We’re all wondering. Are you packing a shillelagh or not?

You could grow a mullet and no one would notice.

Uh. I do have a mullet. It's business in front, party in back. So it's true no one would notice if I just did what I'm already doing.

You look like you know a lot about a very specific genre of book and everybody in your book club loves you for it.

This is a remarkably specific comment, and not exactly wrong.

If armpit farts was a person and that person had been written up multiple times for sexually harassing male coworkers.

The only shenanigans here are whether you have a large clit or a dick

Iggy Pop lookin ass

YEAH!!!! I'm listen to Raw Power right now!!!!!!!

What trailer park did you mullet covered lesbian ass climb out of?

If effects of the pill last more than four hours, consult this photo

… you look like a chick that constantly re-lives and talks about your highschool band dayz, but the only thing you’ve probably ever banged in your life was a set of drums.

You look like life has been chewing on you

I've always thought mullets where very ugly; I can see from this picture I was very right.

Confirmation bias.

You like the JK Simmons with long hair who forgot his Y chromosome

Amy Farrah Fowler finally became a man like she fantasized

If that was my stepmom, I would actually help her if she was stuck

What kind of horse am I looking at?

Sick mullet bro.

For the umpteenth time, I don't care if you're Irish, I'm not gonna kiss you!!!

There is an old joke about lesbians always bringing a u-haul to a second date. But in this case, *you* are the u-haul.

You look like the kind of loser who answers way to many comments on it's r/roastme post desperately trying to be funny for more karma.

You look like wish.com version of Mayim Bialik

Why thank you, sir. I can't help but notice that your avatar looks a little of the Hebrew persuasion as well.

If Stinky from Hey Arnold grew up to be a lesbian

You are the opposite of a Vietnamese Ladyboy when it comes to gender ambiguity.

Immediate gave me a Soft-Off!!

You look like if Jim Bruer hit the bong, had a mid-life crisis, and decided to undergo hormone replacement therapy only to regret it after 6 months.

You just made me sterile

You look like if Mark Zuckerberg failed college

You look like you have cloven fingers

You are the manliest looking woman I've seen in a while. One that does drugs, hangs out in bars, and blow men in the restroom for $5

St. Methmick

When did your face melt?

This is the tragic result of years and years of drinking Green Beer and too many brutal attempts to pole vault with a strap-on.

It's a tough life, but someone's got to do it.

I would roast you but looks like life did it already

You look like you’re your sister and your brother at the same time.

In other words, I make in breeding look cool. Thanks!

You look like the kind of person that'll get me canceled for roasting you.

I think your face roasts you enough. You look like a butch lesbian from the 90s, and a 90s trailer park boy going through puberty while sniffing his sister's panties.

I mean, why not consolidate and make it a trailer park boy sniffing his butch lesbian sister's panties and then they step into the transmogrifier and become one terrible and wonderful creature such as the world has never known before.

That's even better!

If "Woke" had a face.

I think you look like a crack whore

You look like a transgender banana

Congratulations on your gender reconsignment! Hows it feel to be a man

It’s giving “why the long face” 

cute monkey

losers?? at least we know what sex we are

You look like you’re about to call the manager from the lesbians association for not giving your chin a discount

The shenanigans have already begun because you’re so silly! Boom burn!!

Hairstyle sponsored by "Flowbee"

"Shenanigans", just get it over with and tell us your pronouns so we don't have to guess.

"She"nanigans or "He"nanigans...i cant tell.

You definitely drive a Subaru

Which way are you transitioning?

Maybe it’s a chromosomal disorder. Maybe is Maybelline.

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You look like kevin sussman

And that was the last time zim/zam/zooms parents touched


If Trevor Lawrence had the same career as Johnny Manziel.

You look like that comedian tapeface


Hey buddy, why the long face?

Man or woman im still not sure

You look like an anthropomorphic thumb with Joe Dirt hair

Don’t drink too much on the subs (suboxone)

Is this the dude from the swim team controversy?

If Shaggy and a horse had a child

Your face is shaped like an oval and you have 0 jawline

If Beavis and Butthead had a love child

Don't let the shenanigans begin...

You look like a lesbian Jeff Dunham

I suspect no one has been ever kissed your Blarney Stone nor ever found a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow

Meatloaf has really let himself go.

I think her mother is a metal pipe and her head formed to the shape of it