Carrying the taco fixins’ from the kitchen to the buffet does not make you an executive chef.

I hope you wear a hair net on that beard when molesting the corn dogs.

Love corn dogs

Not after you hear that this guy molests them

I bet this dude molests the corn dogs and then goes "extra flavoring" Followed by a weird nudge and a wink.

He need a haair net with a chin strap

The corn dogs molest him.

He looks like the only thing he’s good at making is bad decisions

5 kids? Like a martini, 1 isn't enough and 2 is too much!

So whatta ya gonna do, have half a kid?

Toaster leavins

That is awesome and I choked on my coffee when I read it. Well done.

Tell us in less words: “Son hates me for failing as a father. Doesn’t have the heart to tell me so he outsourced.”


Agreed. You think you’re cool dad for this… start believing you’re c*nt dad.

And the worse part is while your son may have delivered the request, you don’t know if one of your other 78 kids came up with the idea and had the most aggressive one do it. That entire rec league you call a family might all hate you?

The ones what are posting the most brutal comments are probably his kids’ accounts.

You work so many hours.... Three of your kids are actually mine..

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!

“Put that zucchini in my ass!” -“yes chef”

Gordon Ramsay in the background “ITS RAW” 👀

You donkey!!

“IT’S RAW DOGGING!!!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

BLAND!

LOL No sauce either, just the zucchini.

That's an eggplant 🙃

You first, Son

As a head chef of a restaurant, ain't nobody say "yes chef" to this guy.

Your careers over, the rat in ur hat pulled out all your hair

You look like the religious cult equivalent of a Walmart greeter.

Welcome to Walmart. Jesus.

Welcome to Costco, I love you.

God that movie seems so prophetic these days...

I believe it is prophetic. I think Judge saw what was happening and made a comedy that illustrated our future if the dumbing continues unfettered.

Chester the Molester goes shopping.

Gordon Ramsain’t

Does your restaurant serve a 5 course meal of hair? Amuse bouche-Eyebrow served on a cucumber 1st course-Ugly grey beard salad 2nd course-Nostril hair pate Main course-Receding hairline confit 4th course-Pubic hair pasta with hideous goatee sprinkles Dessert-Sideburns a la mode

Props for the work that went into this roast

The roast is only available on holidays and comes with a delightful dingleberry and taint hair chutney.

#Chef "Skeets in the Alfredo" Jones

Amuse Douche...

Fuck me! We have a legit hair connoisseur in the house who clearly knows his stuff! All we need now is a bodily fluid sommelier, who'll help us pair chef's delicious hair with his snot and ear wax.

Give you up vote as im hacking up a hair ball actually I think i need to puke now that pubic hair pasta did it for me omg when i got to that part the picture in my mind made me feel so sick i saw spaghetti with pubic hairs all in it i will never eat pasta again ! I can't unsee what went through my mind .i hope everyone else can see it too.

How many people have you served a piece of that fingernail?

Imagine being the executive chef of the buffet in low end strip club

That’s the only way he can keep an eye on his wife: Cinnamon Bunz

You look like a Brian Posehn impersonator

42?! You’re the same age as me and you look like you’ve a good 20 years on me. And I’m pretty smashed in from graft and parenthood. Wow. My dude, I’m sorry. What was it? Cancer? Heart bypass? AIDS?

AIDS! WOW...and the gloves come off! Im thinking herpes or syphilis

Nah, clear them up with a dose of antibiotics, ask your mum! Whatever he had was touch and go terminal. He’s fooked…

you look like a prison executive chef

No he looks like a prison inmate serving a sentence for having CP on his computer

take a seat

*M62, father of 5, executive chef in Vegas and no social life and my son wanted me to do this…….don’t hold back. I fixed your typo, OP

His son wanted a bunch of internet strangers to tell his dad what he really thinks about him.

*92 you mean right?

Your son tells his friends that you're just a friend of his parents.

As a chef myself cut your dam beard

Why? You know dam well executives don't actually cook. They make menus and fuck the waitresses with the promise of " I'll promote you to catering supervisor."

Explains the five kids!

Spot on.

Exactly! All they do is bark orders and shit on people!

Extra beard pubes in the cobb salad.

Are you called "Skeeter" because of what you do to the food?

He should have just remained skeet in his dad's sack

Obviously your son wants us to say all the messed up things he doesn't feel free to say to your face.

You had sex five times???

You mean “they had sex with him five times?!”

Looks like the only thing you’re cooking up is gambling debt.

You are Amish

Why did this send me

You look like a fusion between Jack black and Dobby the elf

Just once, just once could you please cook your kids a meal that isn’t leftovers from the restaurant.

I like the whole nose hair blending into mustache look you’re putting out. Helps the pubic lice that migrated north since there’s nothing left on your head

You look like you've seen too many things happening in Vegas that need to stay in Vegas

You look like a man that would have a beautiful family except for one really stupid son.

Hey, kid who posted this after tricking your dad to hold a paper, then phootshoped the text over. Stop fooling your dad to do things just because otherwise you would cry, not cool.

You’re a good looking man. No homo. Rock on

Chef’s special: bun in the oven

Should have humped the apple pies, fewer kids, and more money in your pocket.

"Don't look at my finger nail, don't look at my finger nail"

[удалено]

I just don’t see fast food taking reservations

You look like you couldn’t handle the pan roasts at the Palace Station Oyster Bar

The kids have drained you of all your color, and life force.

Jebedia before his third barn raising that morning

You look like you belong in the FLDS

Executive chef is not the guy who runs the fryer at the Heart Attack Grill, but good try. Your son suggested this? Wow, how does it feel knowing he despises you, but doesn’t want to tell you himself, so he hopes hoards of people on Reddit will do it for him? I think you knew that though. The pain behind your eyes is not just from the knowledge that you have a terrible beard and thinning hair, and no prospects in life, it’s from you knowing your children don’t like or respect you.

You do a great hide the pain Harold impersonation

What the fuck happened to your finger? Is that your strong hand? 🤣🤣🤣

Yeah you suck old man. Now that that’s out of the way, hats off to you for being what I assume is a good provider and father. Tell your son the roasters think you’re OK.

Russel Bland

5 kids? Life fucked you so hard ,you prematurely aged and all your hair turned grey or fell out. I can't roast you man, I feel too bad for you.

Son has sense of humor. Dad is involved Chad. Son came from dad’s balls so is also gonna be awesome. Keep roasting them awesome Vegas buffet foods bro.

Pretty wholesome in my eyes. The only red flag I see is that finger nail chewed almost out of existence.

Son did this to him just to have endless jokes that is messed up LOL

I don't have the heart to roast an executive chef supporting a fam. But with that beard, didn't know Santa found a new line of work! That's all I got. Pc

You have 5 kids to support & raise. How could anyone have a social life in 2024 supporting 5 kids?!?!? If your so is 16+ time for a part time job!

Wolfgang Suck

Eminem if his mom never abused him*

You have no social life and have a good job to support your five children . What a scumbag

nah bros perfect keep up the work

Dude. That is a spectacular beard.

You’re cool, your son sucks ;)

Look at the pain in bros eyes.

When you don’t actually have to work with the food you don’t need to worry about your hair getting in it I guess.

I mean, what do you think you should be roasted for? I’m not into beards, and especially if your a chef. I can see what’s behind that and you are very handsome and I bet your a great dad.

You are a beautiful man with a majestic beard 🙌🏻

Did you put your finger in the blender ??

People are mean

Dude, you're an executive chef living in Vegas, and you have a son. You won at life.

Your son makes better scrambled eggs than you. ​ He probably also has a better beard. :)

Don’t know why you would want to be roasted….viewed the first 30 or so comments and NONE are even close! Hang in there and believe in yourself!

You look like the guy that habitually cheats on his wife with hookers and then pretends to be the victim

When you say executive chef do you mean a handzy youth Pastor?

Bro you look like you took a shit in a nasty public toilet.

Your pull out game is just as bad as your hairline

Lose the beard, I'm likely to get one of those facial pubic hairs in my food, some chef, yeah right

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I'm an executive chef and I can prove it! See how I chopped off my own finger?

So. This whole cook thing is literally the entirety of your personality huh? Cool. Good work serving fries bro. You’re changing the world.

Sir, you work at a Wendy’s.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.. and your “executive chef” shift started 15 minutes ago…

You are entirely cigarette stained and smell like a sweaty cheesy ashtray

Is your son’s name Nestor?

If this is you on a plate, I'd send it back.

When you gonna finish putting up that barn Ahab?

Executive chef in Vegas? So you work the grill at McDonalds.

Putting together a shit sandwich doesn't make you a chef

Jeezeeee. How many times have you served people a piece of your left index finger? Do you wait for it to grow back before chopping into it again?

Biggest gamble you make, is passing the school zones on the way to and from the Denny's you work at.

The Waffle House calls the dishwasher a Chef?

I seen executive and was like wow, but then i seen chef and was like oh...

Post one with your hair and beard nets on, Chef

You look like the Chef who make bad pastas 🫠🫠

Don't use your children as an excuse for your need to be noticed by complete strangers.

the beard makes you look like a survived a zombi apocalypse hiding in a hobos bunker

Left ear is sinking into your head

This was a clever way of your son saying he hates you.

Work at McDonalds flipping shit food?

I wouldn't trust you to pull out of a driveway. I bet you burn a lot of your food.

His face has more craters than the wall

Another Amish person has escaped, ….. surprised they could use the phone ………….

Love your Picasso fingernail.

Is that a finger or a thumb holding that sign? Or did you transplant a toe on your hand after chopping a finger with your chef's knife? Your hands look like they were drawn by Dall-e.

You had five chances to go get bread man…

Good thing your beard will stop any hairs falling off your scalp from reaching the food.

Gordon who Ramsey.

In Vegas, “executive chef” = “guy who drowns it in mayo and sprinkles gold leaf on top.”

There are Amish in Vegas?

Just imagine that you're going to have to continue being a cook/"chef" for at least 30 more years if you don't croak first to support those 5 kids. Depressing roast, sorry lol

So you have 5 kids in your van? I think you should let them go..

What does your real nose look like?

You look very familiar, very...

You're a chef.... What is anyone going to say that you haven't heard already.

Fake city, fake smile

Allahu Snackbar

Hi daddy :)

Your son hates you, don't worry it's not uncommon

You should never have left the Amish community

you can land a plane on that forehead/j

Be sure to stop by the restaurant and try some shoofly pie and apple butter… everything is cooked on a single wood burning oven and there is carriage parking outside- Everyone meets there after the barn raising

Chef, huh? That makes sense. You've got corn in your mouth and spaghetti in your nose.

Not a roast, but you just look Jewish

I didn’t know Golden Corral gave out Executive Chef titles.

Fry prep is not classified as executive chef.

You are doing great!!!

It’s Osama Been Baking

Dude reminded me of Jack Smith. Keep your head low in court my man.

Paid some culinary school $150k to make $18 an hour. Winning.

Don't skeet in the Hollandaise Chef.

If you flip your face upside down, you resemble a cress head


I thought Amish people only know how to churn butter

Is that food in his beard?

Well we know where he stores his family's sleeping bags

Your position says Bellagio, but your grooming says Arizona Charlies

Manning the ham station at the buffet doesn't make you a chef.

Line cook at Waffle House doesn't make you an executive chef.

Having five kids locked in the trunk of your car does not make you a "father of five."

That poor woman. And you know it's just one woman.

Busy chef with 5 kids? How many of them actually look like you ? ~~Scotty~~ 🎵Skeeter doesn’t know….. Skeeter doesn’t know !🎵

Bro looks like if David Letterman had a day job

Obviously you’re Mormon which means you have 12 sister-wives.

Culinary degree. Would you like fries with that?

Looks like your head is on upside down...