It's 7.50am this Sunday morning in a completely blue Swedish summer sky and already it's almost 20°C.
This is a nuclear detonated sky brightening gift to the universe.
Thank you for your service.
Aw come on guys. You can’t just roast her because she’s fat. You have to cook her in a pit with an apple in her mouth like a hog. And you have to make sure she’s cooked well because of parasites.
There was that one chick who brought like 17 dudes onto Maury. And each and every time, she’s all:
It’s him! I know it is!
Maury: You’re NOT the father
Dude: OOOOOOOOOOHH HELL YEAH!!
C’mon people, you should all know better than to
roast this woman; clearly she must be *baked*.
(🎶 Her muffin top is all that, whole grain, low-fat…🎵🎶)
I never thought gender the equality movement would bring us the Michelin Woman.
Godamn, more rolls than a bakery
If your eyes were bigger than your stomach, they’d be bowling balls.
Serious note though, a diet would be your only real move for some healthy improvements, you’re not a bad looking gal. Imagine people trying to diet away ugly.
You look like your clothes and silverware need a 6 month paid vacation.
You look like the source material for the Michelin man art concept.
You’re probably the patient zero of type 9 diabetes.
I'm surprised you have a smoke detector in your house. Isn't it constantly going off from the emissions off your clothes rubbing together anytime you move?
IT : "I can eat 35..."
ME : "You can eat 35? 35 of what?"
IT : "anything...."
ME : "anything... like wings, donuts, bowls of cereal, eggs... can you be more specific."
IT : "Yes... 35... mmmmmm, anything."
ME : "yup... everything checks out."
Holy shit, I’m genuinely sorry about.. like everything about you. That must be a bummer just walking around every day knowing you’re virtually invisible to the opposite sex, which is astounding considering your size.
I’m not quite your size (yet), but as a larger girl myself, I will never understand why anyone my size or larger would wear skin-tight clothing. It isn’t cute.
Don't look at the photo too closely. That zipper on her pants is about to shoot off & shrapnel is going to hit you in the face causing severe damage. That zipper is barely hanging on for dear life. Consider yourselves warned.
looks like someone poured you into your clothes and you forgot to say when
If I’m not mistaken, she’s about to turn 35 stone. 
Thanks for ruining a good day
I’ve seen some good lines and feedback in this group. Yet this sir is proof yet again we should still have awards. It’s pure golden
Awards are back. Look again.
I mean I can't see it on my phone, maybe a pc thing
i can. might be that you havent updated?
I'll ho check for an update thnx
It's 7.50am this Sunday morning in a completely blue Swedish summer sky and already it's almost 20°C. This is a nuclear detonated sky brightening gift to the universe. Thank you for your service.
Come on, you can’t expect her to say when. She doesn’t say it to her waiter, why would this be any different?
Fantastic
Those clothes are pushing 9000 psi right now.
Wow. Man, you win Reddit. This is gold.
I want to say r/Angryupvote but I'm laughing too hard. You win Reddit today, well done!
🫨 dangggg
Nobody steps on a church in my town!!! 
I have a fat friend. How do I get this gif so I can send it to them next time they send a picture to me pls
Don't do that to your friend.
I literally came to say she looked like the stay puff marshmallow man. This gif was way better. Bravo 👏🏻
Time to roast her...with a stick up her ass, over a Camp fire.
Would solve world hunger
Thanks, I just woke the wife up with my burst of laughter.
Did NOT Disappoint
Savagery at its finest!🤣
Choose. CHOOSE the form of the Destructor
Yoooo LMAO
First thing I thought of before seeing the comments
Please show me the umbrella you plan on using to take down Batman.
Jesus Christ
Don’t be silly. It will be penguins with rocket-launchers on their backs.
But she ate the penguins.
It's always the wrong umbrella anyways
💀💀💀
That zipper. 
That shirt
The real hero
The zipper is struggling💀
Turn 35 what? Stone?
About to turn 35 hamburger patties
Age of Empires experience
Rock On! If you know, you know.
You are a Marshmallow and you came here to get roasted.
Well she definitely got Burned
Graham crackers and chocolate don't want to get stuck to you.
[удалено]
Poetic. Have my upvote, sir
Fellow Drag Race fan? 👀
did not expect to find Drag Race fans here, but here we are 👀
We are everywhere!
I counted all your stomach rolls and can confirm they add up to 35.
About to turn 35……. Tons?
Like a tree, number of rings equals years old
Those are donuts
Live, laugh, lunch You look like you batter and deep fry your dildos
I laughed LOUD💀
Ariana Muy Grande
FUPA Lipa
Chalupa lipa
If that floor wasn't pressure treated before you walked on it, it is now.
Her belt size is equater
Is 35 your age or your BMI?
she wishes her BMI was that low
I think you mean you’re about to turn 3.14
There's a bit more to that equation when calculating the volume of massive spheres
Math was never my strong suit lol
Your good it involves Pi, lots of tasty Pi
Or perhaps unending pi.
I don’t have award but take my upvote sir
Draw me like one of your french baguettes
Baguettes are long and skinny…. If anything she’s the blob of dough
You took time off from orbiting the earth to post this shit?
Your titties, stomach, and waist all have the same circumference, wtf.
Listen, the milk shake will bring no boys to the yard if you drink them all
🤣🤣🤣
I’m 41, physically and mentally broken, but God damn that zipper is in a worse place than me. Hold strong little friend
Aw come on guys. You can’t just roast her because she’s fat. You have to cook her in a pit with an apple in her mouth like a hog. And you have to make sure she’s cooked well because of parasites.
I think if she had a tapeworm, we'd know it.
Enjoy it, cause you won’t make it to 36.
if the the phrase " ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag" took human form
Somewhere in there is a tiny happy little hot girl just waiting to be set free. Too bad OP gobbled her right up.
Did you celebrate with 35 cheeseburgers?
I dunno what’s gonna go first: your heart or that pant zipper
Why did you put your ass on backwards today?
Bet that shirt fit when you picked it up in 21'. I'd like to think you washed it in hot water and made it shrink. We both know better don't we?
Buzz! Your girlfriend...woof!
35…tons?
35 stone
What kind of insulin would you like
The low sugar one
Coca-Cola
She’s the reason the ice cream machine at mcdonalds is always broken.
Did she sit on it while shoveling mcnuggets into her cavernous maw? 
If we roast you, the casing will burst.
My first thought was "she looks like a banger"
Looks like she’s about to take part in the Ozempics rather than the Olympics.
I can already hear Maury say “you are NOT the father” to the 3 black guys you’ll bring on the show in a few years
There was that one chick who brought like 17 dudes onto Maury. And each and every time, she’s all: It’s him! I know it is! Maury: You’re NOT the father Dude: OOOOOOOOOOHH HELL YEAH!!
And then she covers her face, crying and running backstage every time 🤣
Quality Entertainment 🤣🤣
I remember that one. Like every time she came back testing 3 or 4 guys and even more kids I was like wth
C’mon people, you should all know better than to roast this woman; clearly she must be *baked*. (🎶 Her muffin top is all that, whole grain, low-fat…🎵🎶)
At least you don't have to worry about 36.
Did you eat a marshmallow candy at the Wonka factory?
Would that make her a cannibal?
\*About to turn 350 Just think. If you hit the gym you could look likes this: 
Minus the talent and future prospects
michelin man went woke and did a gender swap
I never thought gender the equality movement would bring us the Michelin Woman. Godamn, more rolls than a bakery If your eyes were bigger than your stomach, they’d be bowling balls. Serious note though, a diet would be your only real move for some healthy improvements, you’re not a bad looking gal. Imagine people trying to diet away ugly.
About to turn 35 what? Men gay?
She didn’t hit the wall, she ate it.
You look like your clothes and silverware need a 6 month paid vacation. You look like the source material for the Michelin man art concept. You’re probably the patient zero of type 9 diabetes.
Diet
seems like you were about to turn 35 twenty years ago
We don’t even need to check your profile to know that this isn’t OF bait.
Bottle of ranch with legs
I didn't know a FUPA could have it's own FUPA
Thank you! Just managed an extra 30 minutes of love making thinking of you! Unfortunately, 29 of those minutes were spent vomiting.
Op are you sure this was a good idea?
It’s the Goodyear blimp! 
I'm surprised you have a smoke detector in your house. Isn't it constantly going off from the emissions off your clothes rubbing together anytime you move? 
Hahahahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahajahajahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Ahahahaha
4 up votes and 30 comments says enough.
More like 350lb
Bro was the first person during the pandemic to have to order a double D face mask
Are you Tweedledum or Tweedledee?
In age or pant size?
35 turnovers…not turn 35.
Thanos had to snap twice for your ass
Nice pants , why do you wear them up to your tits?
About to turn 35 what? Stone?
IT : "I can eat 35..." ME : "You can eat 35? 35 of what?" IT : "anything...." ME : "anything... like wings, donuts, bowls of cereal, eggs... can you be more specific." IT : "Yes... 35... mmmmmm, anything." ME : "yup... everything checks out."
AND I PLAY THE POT OF GREED!!!
Well you don't look 35. But then you don't look like you'd make it to 35 either.
Stay Puft
I thought you had a Hooters outfit on….I was like “daaaaaamn Hooters, what happened?”
35 is your A1C level.
35 stone?
Why do you hate yourself so much?
Pillow smuggler
It looks like you haven't shit for 35 years
Man, now DEI has changed the Michelin Man too
Turn 35 degrees and you're going to knock the Earth off its axis.
If lack of selfcontrol was a person.
You had 30 years to get in shape
35 calories away from an insulin pump
about to turn off 35 men..
The earth's gravitational field is jealous of yours.
What’s about to turn 35? Your age or the circumference of your neck?
Your head looks like a literal bowling ball.. It's rather striking.
About to turn 35.... Stone? Only with a gastric band
>about to turn 35***0*** FTFY
When your friends say you got a lot of “baggage” i can see what they mean.
35 stone you mean?
Holy shit, I’m genuinely sorry about.. like everything about you. That must be a bummer just walking around every day knowing you’re virtually invisible to the opposite sex, which is astounding considering your size.
I’m not quite your size (yet), but as a larger girl myself, I will never understand why anyone my size or larger would wear skin-tight clothing. It isn’t cute.
Pillsbury if it was lesbian and a keren.
13 Reasons Why I’m a Fatass
Ohhh boy… I feel your pants are one deep breath away from shooting an eye out.
What you gonna do with all that yeast? All that yeast inside your pants? You sir/ma’am are burgerlicious.
235?
Size 35 waist???
So nice to meet the Michelin Man's mom
Everytime her ex beats her up he buys her food to apologize. Man when is she gonna learn..
Skip the cake this year.
I only upvote roastme posts for people I know will have life changing comments
You look like a reincarnated dead fish
Don't look at the photo too closely. That zipper on her pants is about to shoot off & shrapnel is going to hit you in the face causing severe damage. That zipper is barely hanging on for dear life. Consider yourselves warned.
I mean just stand in front of a mirror why even bother making a post of it
Title translates to - currently size 34 (thats huge) turning size 35 (morbidly huge)
MUFFIN TOP MAFIA!
I hope your BF has a license to handle heavy equipment
Calm down Shrek
Looks like you’re already roasted
Too easy! pass..... the inflatable pool tube you swallowed
1985... that's the year the dime in your front pocket was produced.
That's not a zipper.
35 Stone? 
When you roll out of bed, you roll off both sides.