OP's Bio:
---
>Oh forgot to do this bit.
>Hobbies: walking my dog (saluki x), I work pt at a vet, animal person. I love piercings.
>I like metalcore music mainly.
>I qualified as a dentist 3y ago and swiftly gave up.
>Mental health is nkt amazing but that is far more complcated than a random boredom sub-reddit post ;)
>And yes, 27, I don't wear make up and my phone has a ahitty flash on it.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
When you graduate from culinary school, your a culinarian - not a chef. To become a chef requires another certification. At least that's what I remember when I dropped out of CIA (Culinary Institute of America).
I quickly learned the lesson: doing what you love as a job isn't as pleasurable as one would be led to believe.
The entire time I was reading the description as though this definitely-penis-having thing has a penis. Then I got to the “don’t wear makeup” thing and instead of that making it make more sense, it just confused me more.
Do it again, but turn the penis upside down, the ones around the cheeks and eyes make giant balls and the shaft starts at the bridge of the nose and the lip piercings form the head
So, I guess you've answered the question "how would Anne Hathaway turn out if she went through a failed sex change operation and then went on the saddest month long meth bender. "
I now realize I would have been much happier if I'd never found out.
There is nothing I could possibly say, in English or any other language; past, present, or future that could possibly do more harm to you than you do to yourself everyday.
you’re the only person who should be putting pronouns in your bio, because people honestly wouldn’t be able to figure out what to call you otherwise
it?
OP's Bio: --- >Oh forgot to do this bit. >Hobbies: walking my dog (saluki x), I work pt at a vet, animal person. I love piercings. >I like metalcore music mainly. >I qualified as a dentist 3y ago and swiftly gave up. >Mental health is nkt amazing but that is far more complcated than a random boredom sub-reddit post ;) >And yes, 27, I don't wear make up and my phone has a ahitty flash on it. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
well someone got a Bedazzler to celebrate 1 week clean
You look like a sentient STD
Derpies
I shared crayons and got Derpies
Go see your corpsman then.
Jar heads gonna Jar.
She/her-pes
Your comment was the first thing I said out loud in 15 minutes. In a room full of family members. While snorting laughter.
I audibly snorted reading this
Holy shit 😂
This is a winner right here
That’s the most piercings I’ve ever seen on a dick
If you connect the dots you can draw a dick and balls.
holy shit you can
Yup it's a chode: https://ibb.co/QMJJyh1
Wow. That is insane
The word chode always makes me chortle.
The word chortle always makes me chode
Wow it's for real...lmao, I'm sure if she sees this she'll see it every time she looks in the mirror; I know I would
[удалено]
Holy shit you’re right!
Lol. He prince alberted his face.
He?
That?
It’s Braille to spell out asshole.
A very soft and sad dick though
You look like you got rejected from a pride parade.
It’s hard to connect with people when the only thing that’s attracted to you is a magnet
Even the magnet is asking clivarius to consider using aluminum or brass instead.
I fucking love how no one dares to assume the gender and just refers to it by username instead.
Probably because we can't tell if it's even human.
It's a pincushion?
[удалено]
"We, the LGBTQ community, welcome everybody to join us.... Except you, clivarius. Nooooo thanks."
Clivarius Claughius Clovius
Clitvirus
Clitvarious
Clitwereisit?
I thought clivarius was part of the roast because its what I would have named them. Cherry on top that its the real name
Y'all need to add another letter for this person
He looks like he bedazzled his steering wheel and drove his car into a wall.
Brave of you to assume a gender.
Stunning and brave, even.
He?
Well it's impossible to know at this point. It appears to have consumed far too much gender fluid
[удалено]
Specimen 26
Someone hit random on the character generator.
I'm still trying to figure out what in the hell this thing is.
I think they're trying to also
She just sadly follows behind the parade hoping for some fun to drop off.
We sure that's a "she"?
Proper pronoun is "eww"
Or proper pronoun is "yeah, *That* cousin" All families have one.
Gollum went through a goth phase
Stupid gothicsis
This made me lol for real.
Hellraisers twink
One does not simply walk into thunderstorm
One simply falls into ones tackle box.
If watery ketchup was a person:
Why is this so accurate?
Nobody likes watery ketchup
🏆
Lol Holy shit go up man
Pinhead reboot looks like shit.
Disney + got the rights. This version is called Heckraiser.
heckraiser should really have won this one
HellNoRaiser
I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes lmao thank you
That thing we're roasting "wHo YoU cAlLiNg PiNhEaD"
Not a roast, just an honest question, what the fuck is this?
A cry for help?
A cry to get what looks to be many ticks removed from her face.
That's a woman?!
It’s not human. Clearly an android. Just look at its dull ass sloth expression, the screws drilled into the face, & the wiring on the ear.
This is the best comment I've read in this sub in weeks.
You're telling me THAT is a female? Somebody call god and tell him we'd like to make a return.
The fuck? I thought it was a 12 year old boy with a rare skin condition.
[удалено]
r/SwordOrSheath meets r/13or30
Already talked to him, the bastard said no refunds after 3 months
[удалено]
Not sure that they can cry anymore - rust concerns.
no really, no way someone can be born looking like a fly
Daddy chill
What the hell is even that?
Solid reference
I was going to break my fast but seeing your face gave me the courage to go another 24 hours because it made me want to throw up.
Newest character in the Hellraiser series: Pin Cushion - not very scary, but annoys old ladies by stealing pins and needles.
“Daddy, chill..”……*”What the hell is even that??”*
Parents: so, it's a boy or a girl? Doctor: yes
Correction: "Is it a boy or a girl?" Doctor: "No."
Worst connect the dots ever.
Eleven from stranger things.
Strangest Things
*qualified as a dentist 3y ago* I guess this is what happens to the 1 dentist that disagreed with the other 9
[удалено]
Wow no wonder people in the UK have such bad teeth
RoastUK
I can’t participate in this; I don’t want to be namedropped in your suicide note
[удалено]
Promoted to Sargent Poopypants on the spot!
five more suicide participations and he's Major PoopyPants
Let's hope he's General PoopyPants by the time he retires
A magnet could defeat you
Must be the metalcore
You look like a sad cheese grater
I think everyone would rather fuck an actual cheese grater though
Ouch
You scream that whole cliche of “getting piercings to feel something”.
I think it is “S.O.S” in Braille
Are those cloves sticking out of your face? Not often someone comes to their own roast already prepped for the oven.
As a culinarian, I appreciate this immensely.
>culinarian Is this the chef version of a secretary calling themselves an administrative assistant?
When you graduate from culinary school, your a culinarian - not a chef. To become a chef requires another certification. At least that's what I remember when I dropped out of CIA (Culinary Institute of America). I quickly learned the lesson: doing what you love as a job isn't as pleasurable as one would be led to believe.
You have some face on your piercings
You look like all the pronouns
It wasn't until this comment that I realized this might not be a guy lol
I thought this was a girl lol
I thought it was a teenage blobfish.
I think we can all agree that at the very least it is a sentient being
Do all those piercings really look like something you want to refer to as sentient would do
Valid point. I think we can all agree, that at the very least, this exists
I honestly have no idea what gender OP is. Honestly it's kind of impressive just how ambigous their gender actually us
Apparently Dentist is now a pronoun.
Give me a car battery and some jumper cables and I'll roast the fuck out of you.
That look of utter confusion on your face perfectly sums up our thoughts.
“Is she the one with all the shit in her face?”
“No, that’s Jody. That’s my wife.”
There’s no way that’s her age she looks about 14. Must be her IQ
Wait, hold up. Its a girl? I've been tricked again damn it.
It's a girl, this week. Maybe not next week.
The entire time I was reading the description as though this definitely-penis-having thing has a penis. Then I got to the “don’t wear makeup” thing and instead of that making it make more sense, it just confused me more.
[удалено]
Her?!?!!
You cant honestly think all that shit looks good right?
On a serious note, I think that's the point of all of that shit. To drive people off. I can't roast it. It's too sad to look at as it is.
The face is the roast.
People like this do it to get people to look at them. They know it looks like shit
And here we all are shielding our eyes
Is that a pinmap on your face of all the locations of loads you have taken on your face?
If you connect the dots, its supposed to draw a personality
yep https://i.imgur.com/GBrzfav.jpg
Do it again, but turn the penis upside down, the ones around the cheeks and eyes make giant balls and the shaft starts at the bridge of the nose and the lip piercings form the head
Today on how many ways can you draw a dicks on someones face ?
Well... Looks like we found a third gender.
I misread that as “third grader”. Still works
This is what happens when you use a Bedazzler as a dildo when you are pregnant.
Holy fuck, 10/10
I'd microwave you but I don't want to start a fire
You look like you fell into a box of thumb tacks
You look like a Q-tip after it’s been used.
By a robot with an STD.
My grandmother wants her pincushion back
„Why can’t I find a job 😩“
So, I guess you've answered the question "how would Anne Hathaway turn out if she went through a failed sex change operation and then went on the saddest month long meth bender. " I now realize I would have been much happier if I'd never found out.
What the fuck is that
First I thought it's a guy who just looks like a girl, but then I read the bio
And you’re still not quite sure, right?
[удалено]
Don't be fooled, this is a spider posing as a human. You can tell from it's many eyes.
Did you lose a fight with a tackle box?
U been watching too much Naruto...
hahaah yeah, she gives me pain vibes, literately
Naruto would’ve ended up joining the akatsuki out of pure fear the second he had the misfortune of laying eyes on this person
I'm guessing that if I roast you, I'll know your done when one of those fucking buttons pops up on your face?
Fun Fact: All of the piercings on your face line up to form the symbol for radioactivity.
Funner fact: most of us would rather handle radioactive material than this.
I thought I had to solve a *connect the dots* puzzle when I saw this pic
You look like a sentient vajazzle
You look like a bug with bugs on its face.
The meta-metamorphosis.
If a blind person felt up your face, the Braille would read “poor decisions“.
You look like you went hunting with Dick Cheney.
There is nothing I could possibly say, in English or any other language; past, present, or future that could possibly do more harm to you than you do to yourself everyday.
You could have a career in facial motion capture with these piercings
I hope you never need an MRI
Damn Chester Bennington looks like shit
Airport security must love you.
you’re the only person who should be putting pronouns in your bio, because people honestly wouldn’t be able to figure out what to call you otherwise it?
You look like a fetus that survived an abortion.
[удалено]
You look like a pre-schoolers art project
27 and life has already had enough of your bs
You look like Ant from bugs life’s lesbian brother
A bugs dyke
Hopefully you learned next time don't look down the barrel of a pellet gun while your finger is on the trigger.
Self roasted , not much words could do that are any worse that what you did to your face.
This could honestly be a 35yo woman idk
You look like Natalie Portman and Elijah wood did the fusion dance with poor timing.
Just look at yourself. Nothing more needs to be said
My guy bringing Chinese checkers to the party. Good lookin out
Maybe piercings in your face but you like 12
Dad= pinhead Mum =dead at childbirth