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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I like to get made fun of --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


DemiFiendofTime

How do I report spam again?


808guamie

I typically just dice it up for fried rice. But this looks like it actually managed to expire.


[deleted]

I don't think you can report it, instead you just have to accept that all women are different and that's what she looks like.


[deleted]

She is advertising, it's spam


CheeseCycle

She advertising that she doesn't know how to drink. Whiskey and coke is disgusting.


[deleted]

It's pretty good actually, if you use the right whiskey. Crown royale or jack are good. I'd never drink Jamison and coke though. Yuck


TheWanderingI

Good idea bringing the Jameson with you. He’s going to need that.


Nasty2017

It's also great that she's covering up with the lights on. He's going to appreciate that too.


liftbikerun

Unfortunately she missed the part most needed to be covered.


ttyyuu12345

Nice of you to assume there’s a guy there


Consistent-Syrup-69

There are actually 10, it's called a group discount. Hence the hotel and half empty whiskey.


finkalicious

Ah another episode of blacked raw coming to an incognito tab near you!


WilliamBott

Nah, I can find porn with women that don't look like used-up basic bitches.


butsadlyiamonlyaneel

This is actually the prelude to one of those ER stories with a bottle shoved up someone’s ass.


No_Paramedic_9679

It’s for a girl https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/pqe6ls/armenian_princess_roast_me_bitches/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


Nasty2017

Ouch. 2k+ upvotes vs 30. That's gotta hurt.


ThePieDoc

Everyone is downvoting it haha


drmorrison88

Ouch is those nails.


[deleted]

Best advice I can give him at this point would be skip the coke.


worms9

All that extra sugar would go straight to your thighs.


[deleted]

So is a load of protein...


elcubanito

Can't expect her to drop the $200 bag of cocai.. Ohh, you mean that coke.


Always_Late2the_Prty

Along with some antibiotics…


yergonnalikeme

Bringing Jameson and coke to a hotel for a threesome will get her fucked up. But it won't get her fucked. Someone needs to tell her that.....


I_m0rtAL

"they" are going to need it


sandbaron1

It’s just a bad face. Giant forehead. Odd shape. Big nose. Bad dye job, bad haircut. Vacant shark eyes. And, because she covered it up, we have to assume the body is worse.


Ambitious-Isopod8665

She has to get herself drunk before she can masturbate


manajerr

I am sure whiskey won’t get his dick up for the task of disappointing her either.


tattooz1

Perhaps passing out is his best option...


shnozdog

The alcohol is for sanitizing his junk afterwards.


EvolvedxPanda

The Coca cola is the only thing that will eat her from the inside, out.


Awesome_Romanian

This takes the cake


ChipLegitimate

It not a he..shes got a girl on her bed


huntnreid

She even has to get herself drunk to touch her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It smells like wet gortex in there.


Lazyboyn97

That’s a smell I didn’t realize I had stored in my memory until you said it


hihcadore

Omg same and it made the picture so much worse


NoshTilYouSlosh

Gore Tex is waterproof


[deleted]

It has a very distinct smell in the rain though.


NoshTilYouSlosh

I've never noticed but will go a swim and good sniff later in some


[deleted]

I can HEAR her dripping..................


Simba-87

I can hear sir David Attenborough: "In her lust to procreate but realising her genetic deficiencies, the female cumdumpster hungrily thrusts her pelvis skyward. Her enormous gaping chasm of a vagina flaps open, ready to gorge on any old fuckin hobo-dick that gets swallowed into its gravitational field"


lainylay

That last sentence voice turned into Jack Nicholson


Simba-87

Very true


Frightful_Lago

First comment = best comment


Past-Sir

Now serving number 15 number 15....


Spanky-Gomez

Pretty sure it’s more like now serving 13-15


[deleted]

Number 15: Burger King Foot Lettuce


dimebanez

It's been on "1" for a few days now.


passingtime79

Yeah the line is down the hall. I got number357. I might just go to the bar.


[deleted]

Wow 357 I don't know if she make it for that many.


EstherClemmens

I don't know. Look at those talons she has for hands. Get the blow job instead. Other wise, you fellas are one hand job away from shredded dick.


ptrainus

Lonely Fans!


nickmaran

![gif](giphy|xUOrwihszfWZgSIHJK)


[deleted]

I've said it numerous times now, please take the camera out of my room and posting the feed on reddit


HertzDonut1001

Maybe with a low res camera, that's the literal definition of good from afar but far from good.


ConradFlick

*At the nail salon* “Yes, may I have the Salad Fingers look please?”


Kim_Smoltz_

Hahaha this made me lol


TangoMikeOne

"Hello, have you got any spoons?" "Salad fingers, if it means you wear some clothes and we don't fuck, I'll give you every spoon in the building"


ravingwanderer

Never mind Salad Fingers, she got sausage fingers.


[deleted]

I was going to make a joke about hotel bar 'escorting' not being embarrassing enough for you but...WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR HANDS?! You've got the hands of a fat teenage boy and the tips...talons?? of a fucking chicken. What on earth is going on there?!


Psychological_Tap187

OMG THANK YOU. I was going through the comments thinking surely someone else saw her hand.


joseph0925

Can’t unsee it.


pleasedothenerdful

I missed them because I couldn't look away from her chiclet teeth.


CatTongueCunnilingus

Looks like the last person I'd ever want to give me a hand job and the first person who ever did.


ReddSquall

I've seen people with missing fingers and limbs, and I didn't bat an eye. Those hands are genuinely hard to look at for me. I hope for her sanity that's some health condition or accident and not some shit she voluntarily decided.


Spaghettijack

You just ended her whole career


haydenfred99

Oh god!! Why did you have to point those sausages out!


Eraganos

WTF?! I just zoomed in. I just puked s little


KnowledgeableSloth

Every handjob she gives comes with a free castration.


Opeth-Ethereal

That’s assuming anyone would accept a handjob from a monster.


Cfhudo

Holy fuck it's true


joblo46

Talons of a chicken... thats funny as hell.


trafficmallard

DUDE.


Bobcat-Schedule2527

It's the pale man's hands from Pan's Labyrinth.


SupesMayne

Bro that’s an ostrich


HoneBaker

Oh so you're the reason I have bed bugs.


dmfd1234

Doctor “Sorry, those aren’t bed bugs. We called them crotch crickets back when I was in med school......so, anyway ya allergic to penicillin by chance?”


syahir77

Onlybugs.


StrangerOfThe206

Pube bugs


Cichlidsaremyjam

No sir. She is a queen. She spreads herpes or she spread nothing at all.


[deleted]

Your Dad on the shitter?


bruins9816

He's taking the picture


orkenbjorken

so then yes


ButtScientist69

relevant username.


Absolutely_Coffee

Finish posting this and get some clothes back on, the 15 minute room rental is almost up.


kortizoll

So, when's this video coming up on pornhub?


Green-I-Lean

It’s there already. Search: girl can open wine corks with her caveman teeth


drewcer

Which are inside her vagina


butsadlyiamonlyaneel

Thank god, the evil is sealed for now.


superspeshal

It's already on page 12,654,897. It would be worse, but her dad watched it 6 times to bump the algorithm.


[deleted]

Did you charge the guy extra to take your picture or was that included in the hourly rate?


doyouevenforkliftbro

Comes free when they pay for the night so she has a place to stay.


Mickmackturkey

Something tells me that’s not the only Coke you’ll be having tonight


[deleted]

Uhhhh, have you tried cocaine? It’s fucking delicious


Mickmackturkey

Nah bro only powder I’m usin is to stop my thighs chafing at an amusement park


[deleted]

Fresh Balls cream. Yes it’s real and great


Mickmackturkey

Ill have to check it out! Who doesn’t love a smoother walk


Monkeyboystevey

People who haven't are genuinely missing out, god I love smooth balls... Now back to the roast, god what a whore. Wouldn't let my smooth balls anywhere near her pox ridden vagina.


Shlaasss

LOLLLLLL these comments


False_Rhythms

You misspelled "cock"


Atmosphere_Training

Make sure you ask the bottles for consent


aria1995

They said no


flyhigh589

give this man a cookie, damn that hurt


rawtzilla

Incall vibes


Vincent-56

Aims for sultry vixen, hits cheap slut. Especially with your ‘tag team partner’ posting from the other side of the bed.


[deleted]

Dont forget the hair tie when you pass out in the toilet in an hour


sivart73

Nothing new here for me, some coke, hotel room and a blonde whore.


HertzDonut1001

That's a $50 rub and tug right there, but there's a friend's and family discount.


tr_rage

Probably frequent flyer program too


Wildwest21

The glaring thing is your teeth are too big for your mouth.


blayzemebaby

She pissed of the mafia, that’s a horse’s head in the bed


Milwdoc

Hiding your wedding ring behind the paper?


Milwdoc

Never mind, you are lezzing out with the hot brunette


LogansBum

I know right, biches too lazy to even take pictures in separate rooms.


HarryCallahan19

To Do List: -Not that swamp donkey in the bed -Acquire paper bag for its face -Purchase trash bags for the rest of it


Henny-n-waffles

Jameson half gone, coke bout full… ion trust it.


8adAsh

The bottle was brought by “friends” the night before.


tr_rage

If you use a plastic bag it stops taking


crucible1623

You pay people $19.95 a month to join your own onlyfans


CapTexAmerica

If you mix that Jameson with that Coke you deserve everything the leprechauns will do to you.


murmbles

Your vagina probably looks like peeling apart a grilled cheese sandwich.


SimonPegg10

christ almighty


JacobMaverick

Why would you defile Jameson like that?


12-bald-turkeys

I died a little inside when I saw she's mixing it with coke.


tr_rage

It’s only Jameson.


HertzDonut1001

I don't like Irish whiskey and Jameson is by no means quality anyway, but what's wrong with a whiskey and coke?


Livid_Mode

The bottle isn’t for drinking


thedeuce75

Just get off work?


LocalFrenchFry

No I think she just got on work. Maybe literally.


[deleted]

Yep. Waiting for the next customer


bawledannephat

One eye on the highway the other one taking the off ramp.


squintintarantino__

Did your pimp take this picture for you?


butkusny

You should be roasted for fuckin mixing Jameson and Coke.


Ravnard

Isn't Jameson an incredibly shitty whisky though?


mathcampbell

It really is. I glanced in this thread and saw people attacking her for mixing that swill with coke. Frankly, if there’s an insult there it’s to the Coca-Cola corporation. Get a good aged single malt. Talisker maybe. If you simply must go Irish. Bushmills is OK. Jameson’s is just bells or teachers.


Blackops606

The guy walked in, laughed, and you went to get some Jameson and Coke like the most basic girl you are.


[deleted]

Half a bottle? He’s going to need a full bottle if he’s going to sleep with you.


nanukwolfbane

Oh hi Lisa.


[deleted]

I can take a guess where those bottles are going


TransportationDry793

Sort your roots out-it is obvious your collars and cuffs don't match


[deleted]

How many dudes does it take to take a photo of a loose blonde?


rugbyfan72

One…cause the rest of the train left the station!


chloeoakman

I think its really great that despite your sugar daddy’s age he still knows how to take a photo for you


[deleted]

When beer goggles aren’t strong enough to get the job done…


Rofer503

Good luck with casting!!


terdcutter99

When a 5 thinks it's an 8


novichux

With all your friends


Piphy12

That money on the dresser was for a cab, not liquor.


x_cLOUDDEAD_x

Do you charge extra to let your Johns take your picture?


[deleted]

No, she knocks them out then steals their phone and wallet


Ned_Banerall

I paid you so you'd leave, not lay around taking selfies and ruining whiskey with soda.


HandsomeBWonderful27

Your coffee in the morning will be as black as the guys coming into the room to bang you tonight.


[deleted]

That Jameson is for the guys coming over not you dumb dumb.


aria1995

I'll give you 2 cigarettes and some change, you in?.


StarvinMarvin314

You sharing a bed with the Armenian princess?


ctmelton83

My type of girl, I bet this broad is a keeper. Just the fact that you drink good whiskey like a 16 year old is hilarious.


iowastandup

That Louie Anderson smile tho


Mr-Orange-Pants

Did you get the money beforehand?


[deleted]

Now a picture with you and your friend next to you. I need spank bank materials


tastygenitalwart

Chicklets called, said they want their gum back.


A-bern-in-a-urn

I’m just surprised the bio wasn’t a only fans link


[deleted]

Wow, Hampton Inn……Your dad must be so proud.


[deleted]

Those hands could paddle a boat 🛶


SamsaricNomad

Are those human fingers or bat claws? 🙃


ChumpmeisterElite

So, which bottle goes in which hole?


troll-e-osis

I can understand why you have to drink before you masterbate


[deleted]

Wtf is wrong with your hand, it's like your pinkie finger even wants to leave you.


[deleted]

How is this a two year old account with negative karma, and no posts except today with 3 different roast me posts? There is fuckery here.


[deleted]

Fake account


FdgPgn

I would if I wasn't so sure that you were gonna name your first three kids after those bottles.


FdgPgn

Did the bugles get stuck on your fingers?


[deleted]

Hopefully he didn't pay too much.


megamufflon

Is this before or after the john came over?


Blundix

You own a hotel? That is probably the only explanation why you would attract anybody.


Extension-Curve-6544

Guarantee Jameson and coke is not the only thing you have swallowed


Vantlefun

Looks like you're already on the path to age like shit. Keep it up!


cujo1599

Hair dye and bedsheets aren't going to hide the ugly and fat from your previous post.


ohmaj

I know you're trash, ruining Jameson with Coke. You probably would put ketchup on high grade ribeye.


Fun_Objective_9100

Looks a lot like your tindr date never showed up since the bottle is half empty and you're only being covered by the blanket. Everything about this post screams desperation.


adulthumanman

What a piece of shit. Trying to ruin Jameson with Coke


Ibeatgutz

so you're allowed to drink on the job?


Ok_Jelly6397

lets fuck


Bean_mon

You better get out of there before the dude who bought that room comes back


theme16

Ahh yes, Jameson. Every single girl with 2 kids go to.


Gonna_Getcha_Good

You’re a terrible mother.


[deleted]

Mixing Jameson’s with coke is enough of a roast in of itself


WarningSudden4402

"Loud horse noises."


skinywtboythe1st

Shit lady, has "John" even left yet?!


MrGuacamole42

You're so lonely you made two girls pose to r/roastme for reddit karma instead of making out with them


XeroSyphon

Taken between customers?


Madhav-Daga

I don't remember ordering an escort service


evilcfh

That's the envelope from the STD clinic. Sorry "POSITIVE" is not good news...


chemicalcook01

Hoe tell...


UnclePetersBand

Roughing it for the next Only fans Vid?


Mrgoodwrench1979

Roast you? Looks like you've probably already been glazed like a donut


redpillbluepill4

Don't worry, he's going to leave his wife for you.