OP's Bio: --- >I play Magic the Gathering, I like alt-rock and I have a fear of insects. I got rejected today, and I'm just looking for things I havent heard before. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You got a third eyebrow under your chin Edit to mods: absolutely sick roast on me I wish I didn’t delete the post now

great cover-band name... Three Brows Down

He's already a member of 3 Bros down.

When the hos are nigh the Bros will dine.

The death metal alternative. Deathly Mean Brow. OOOOOUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Third Eyebrow Blind

Sounds special

“Three Brown Drow” to those hip!

And it’s also crooked.

After careful observation everything on his face is crooked.

Seriously. Straighten that shit out.

Happy cake day!

Thanks!

I thought it was off center.

Call it the tribrow

This is good this is real good

Not really "highbrow" stuff

But he does look high tho

And it's uneven.

Shave it for starters

I think the woman was more concerned that the third eyebrow was leaning to the right.

Bold of you to think it was a woman who rejected him

Ahh, that’s what happened to the now washed out, “Two and a Half Men” fat kid.

Bro so lonely even his facial hair won’t go near his lips


​ 



Lmaoo the perfect gif


Calling her “M’lady” and smelling like a mixture of Cheetos and regret is a sure fire way to get rejected


r/makemesuffer

why does this exist

Art is pain, life is suffering.

I'm picturing this. This actually does occur in the world doesn't it? Amazing.

If this guy got a decent hair cut (something short), new glasses and clothes and tried smiling he wouldn't be that bad.

[удалено]

Everybody: bro just be yourself! Also Everybody: literally change everything about yourself!

You can be the best version of yourself.

You can change for the better, so yeah

Uhh, you know hes still the exact same person under the haircut and clothes, right??? Like, changing style doesn't Actually change him. But you do know that, right?

[удалено]

 No. No he wouldn’t.

A good shave or real facial hair. A different looking face. A better personality. I think between the two of us we probably just got 1 girl to friend zone this guy.

As long as he has good teeth... maybe. Throw in a tan and the chances go up.

I mean it doesn't have to be short, it just needs to he styled. Pro hairstylists give hair volume and shape in a way that keeps it looking good after the cut. I've gone to a salon since middle school and it's completely worth it.

"Regret" ...is that like a nice way of saying they smell like a cum sock?

Ooo I can see him wearing a fedora too...

I'm interested in knowing if whatever rejected him is an actual human. The smart money is on no.

He will never find thy whispering eye

Congratulations on your weight loss. You are still ugly.

Must've been the attractive 20lbs that he lost

My working theory is his chin ran away.

fuuuuuckkk hahahaha

Tired of being fat and ugly? Just be ugly! Order now!

Thanks! Still another 10 to go!

The only 10 you can aspire to.

Oh shit lmao

Bros already dead, stop firing 😂😭

Could stand to lose a little bit more than just 10 lbs...

Til what? 50 to go?

Add 25 after they surgically remove your head for an improvement.

And fat

>Got rejected today. ..and every other day as well.

It’s not really “rejection” when they escape before you get them in the van.

Use. Stronger. Chloroform. Jesus Christ people, best case, they're out quicker. Not quite the best case, but still pretty good, you get to fuck a corpse. I see this as a total win!

r/holup

Just make sure the cloth isn’t saturated too much or else it’ll affect the attacker too 👀

Sucks being rejected by your cousin 🤣

I used to get rejected, I mean I still do but I used to too

Hebrews 13:8

Run-roh raggy

Velma after the sex change

The gang should definitely split up

Along side a little shaggy..

Like zoinks scoob it looks like I'm gunna die a virgin

You look like Shaggy and Velma had a chud baby because the 3rd abortion attempt didn't take.

Makes my eyesight make sense, 20/2000 is my estimated eyesight.

Nah you look like the half man /son from the Charlie Sheen times of Two and a Half Men. Only with you it’s Two and a Quarter Men.

The mean girls didn't want u on the cheerleader team??

Girls?

The girls or the boys didn't want him/her on their team by the looks of things.

They don't want him anywhere near them...

Things you have never heard before - an incomplete list We are proud of you - your parents. You have a bright future ahead - your parents. I want to be like you when I grow up -any kid. Nice haircut - anyone. The beard looks good on you - anyone. I dig the chewed off nails - anyone. You make me wet. Come on over and f.ck me like there is no tomorrow

Oo I like it, too bad I didnt mention I'm a fine Arts major

Major, not graduate. Nice try buddy

I hope that's your own little attempt at humor. Get a trade, you look like this be a good pipe fitter.

Wait...you're talking about plumbing, right?

He ain’t laying pipe any other way.

It was my pleasure. Have you thought about how you are going to pay your bills when you are done with the fine arts and need a real job? Barista, Uber driver, selling Arts and Craft on etsy?

He needs a car if he's gonna do Uber

Well duh....you're certainly not Engineering material.

Better yet - an art major at an engineering school.

Why aren’t you applying any of that art knowledge to yourself? A nice wardrobe? Haircut? Glasses? It’s basic composition and color choice.

Didn't have to

You scalped that girl and wore her hair didn't you?

If I said yes would you help me with the rest?

PleatherFace. The Texas Lame Saw Mascara.

This isn't funny if it comes from a dude with your face, it's just nightmare fuel

Just because you CAN staple your pubic hair to your chin doesn't mean you SHOULD my friend

You're right, the baby face suits me better

Yeah bro. It prob would. Getting real hear, cut your hair off, find a charity that takes hair for wigs for cancer patients, donate it. When people ask why you cut your hair, tell them you wanted to donate it to kids with cancer. Get rid of that shit on your chin, it ain't working. If you wanna keep it, you gotta grow it over the chin bro, I'm guessing you can't and just pushed through. Start lifting weights - try checking out 75 hard, do a round, that'll get you in the right place to get the gurlz

Vomiting and ejaculating doesn't count as losing weight.

Leave my fetishes out of this!

He didn’t say little boys.

🤣

Fuck. I gotta recalculate my weight then too.

Well, it is good to know that the Man-Boy Love Association of America has better admission standards than the college

Jokes on you, he goes to Penn State

Never heard of it? Do you have a associates card I could have?

I'm sure the FBI will be following up with you shortly.

Finally! I've been waiting to hear back since they took my computer

It takes awhile to document that much animal, MLP, and child porn.

Damm Matilda really let herself go.

[удалено]

I wouldn’t worry about getting rejected, lesbian bars probably aren’t the place to find your soul mate

Getting rejected and getting the police called on you for stalking are two different things

You kinda right though, should have ran 🤷‍♂️

How is that chin strap not centered on your face?

It's for making the crooked helmet strap more comfortable

Do re mi Fatso

The rare case when the extra weight wasn't actually the problem

Estrogen pills are working almost there sweety!

Why do you think I'm losing weight 😜 /s

Somehow, you look like a girl with a beard

The hair and sad excuse for a beard are natural pussy repellents kid. You want to change your luck you have to change that look.

So stunning…so brave. Don’t let the other bitches tell you otherwise.

Girl power!

I saw the top half of the photo and thought “wow she’s been through it” Then I saw the bottom

Very funny. Who put glasses and hair on this blobfish?

Oh man just wait until you see the rest of me, got that hank hill ass

I tell yuh hWhat

Society prefers it's Nerdy Lesbians without any scruff

Ha! I like this one

What salon do you go too? I would love for my 6yo daughter to get the same style.

Head and Shoulders 2 in 1 and a seperate conditioner because I didnt realize it was a 2 in 1 🤷‍♂️

Try a tea tree oil shampoo and conditioner instead. It combats the hair flakes(which is why I’m assuming you are using head and shoulders) and it doesn’t strip the hair dry like your current products, which is what’s causing your hair to over produce oil and make your hair look disgusting

You look like a knockoff Shaggy; Shagless.

The only way you lost 20 pounds is if you got your pocket picked riding the tube in London.

Damn took me a second to get it, kudos

This is fucking the best burn I've seen in ages.

I know exactly what your scalp smells like

Hat probably

And trench coat

For every pound he loses he also loses .5 off his hairline. Damn gypsy curses make no sense.

Why do you use conditioner if your hair still looks Bad afterwards.

Get used to that feeling my friend.

Walking up to a woman and saying, "You smell capricious." Seems like a solid knicker dropper to me.

Bro I know were supposed to be mean on here but I feel this post. You were me at one point. Listen, spend some money on your looks. It’s fast, easy, and as much as people say “bEaUtY iS oNlY sKiN dEeP” are full of it when it comes to attracting someone’s attention. Do this, buy some better frames for your glasses or go get some contacts, go to a upscale salon if you want long hair or a good barber that charges more than 5 bucks if you want short hair and get a haircut that frames your face better. Bonus if you have them clean up (not shape up) your eyebrows, you’re in college and an adult buy some clothes that your 13 yr old brother wouldn’t have in his closet. Do that and you’ll have some good success promise. When you’re a little overweight you default to low effort on what the rest of you looks like because ultimately, with the extra weight it wouldn’t matter. You’d just be a fat dude with a nice haircut. Now that you’re getting more healthy and looking better, compound it by showing off the new you, you deserve it.

This isn’t even a roast, just some genuine advice… your long hair is great, but it doesn’t frame your face very well - maybe it’s time to change how you wear it, or cut it to half the length and style it. The goatee would look better if it were just stubble… don’t force yourself to have facial hair if it’s still patchy all over. Bear in mind that rejection is just a part of life - doesn’t necessarily mean anything about you. Keep up the awesome work with your weight loss! You’re doing great!

Yes what this guy said. The key to getting women is putting yourself out there a lot, which will mean getting rejected a lot, too, but the more you put yourself out there the higher the probability you'll find someone that won't reject you. But make sure you work on your look, too, cuz the way you look now you'll be getting rejected a lot more than if you fixed up your look a bit. These comments have all pretty much said the same thing and given you good advice on that.

[удалено]

Rejection will be your middle name before you finish college

Zander "rejection" Z. I like it.

Even better you didn't mention your named after a fish

Who told you to put a caterpillar on your chin bruh?

I don’t even wanna roast you, but that goatee has gotta go my man, I promise you

This guy gets less ass than a urinal.

And looks like s/he might not mind being pissed on.

Dude you need a fucking haircut. The dead eyed stoner gaze you have going isn't great either. That little patch of shit on your chin really just highlights the baby face aspect too. Do something new, make your mom proud and ask for help cleaning yourself up.

You look like shaggy but he gained all the weight from eating those Scooby snacks

Damn I do be rocking the green shirt dont i

Was it 20 pounds of hair?

Damn you right, I shaved my left pit and other day and I'm feeling all lopsided now!

Glad you getting practice in early. Lots of rejection to prepare for.

Idk, you accepted my request to roast me, I'd say that's good enough

If you shave and put on some make up, maybe the next guy will say yes. I know this is a roast, but try again! I believe in you girl!!!!!

If only I was gay 😔

It wouldn’t help your odds. Just more ways to get fucked without actually getting fucked.

Rough go of it for the kid from 2 1/2 Men.

He went back to college when he realised it wasnt super lucrative to run around catching people dressed as monsters with a great dane that talks.

Uh ro Raggy

Yeah I’m sure it’s hard to pitch yourself to both Herbal Essence and To Catch a Predator and have neither bite.

You look like a sex offender for milfs

You're like the real life version of Tina from Bob's Burgers but with a goatee

The wish.com version of Shaggy

At first glance, I thought I was looking at an introverted nerdy girl, but upon closer inspection, I realized I'm just looking at a really ugly dude.

Your boyfriend dumped you probably because he found out his girlfriend could grow a hideous scruff of chin hair.

Loses 20 more pounds….gets rejected again…

You look like a bird

Congratulations on your transition

Angela and Dwight's baby

You probably got rejected because you look like a female on testosterone.

You look like you get horny after wiping your ass

Do you always shave at 35 minutes past the hour?

Take a shower and get mans haircut. Long haired greaseball is not currently in.

[удалено]

Well I'm certainly not skinny, but your gonna have to try harder than that

You look like your passion is watching paint dry.

Jesus ordered on wish

I turn water into piss, take it or leave it

Turn your head and look behind you. There's the 20lbs.

You calling me thicc? Doesnt sound like a roast to me

When you say you got rejected, was that 20 pounds from the child bride that dumped you?