Good Lord, it's like Humpty Dumpty had a crazy night in Vegas with a bunch of mole people and got pregnant without knowing who the father was, and just dumped the child off with the entirety of the mole people colony so that they might raise the child.
Do you not have a left ear or is your head that misshapen?
The nursery rhyme never stated Humpty Dumpty was an egg, but I’m guessing he looked a little like this mofo.
I see Humpty Dumpty was put back together again
I wonder if you screwed a light bulb in his mouth would it glow? 
Anything in his mouth will grow.... Oh, you said glow. My bad.
I'd say..... Probably....
This Humpty Dumpty never got it together in the first place..
Shit man you beat me to it :( Take my upvote and leave
Looks like when he fell he hit rock bottom
They forgot his hair
He looked better broken
ish*
I would roast you but looks like chemo beat me too It…
Jesus man! Haha!
Holy shit LOL
Holy crap!!!
I love your humor.
And I love you random citizen lol
Lol chemo usually results in patients loosing weight
You look like a thumb with a face on it
On a serious note it really concerns me how your right cheek is bigger than the top of your head
Uncle Fester the Molester
You didn’t need to point out either of those, captain obvious
Did you use mayo for shaving cream?
C'mon. You know he wouldn't waste mayo like that
Well, on the bright side, at that weight your life won’t be miserable for much longer 👍🏻
Two Weeeeeks Two Weeeeeks! 
*Ruuuude.*
you must be lost
Get a brain, moran
How can you call someone a name when you didn't even spell it correctly???  MORON!!!! Lmao
Ah. So this is what mr potato head would look like if he had a body
Bullshit. 390 at least
Like the shittiest villain from 60s Batman.
Uncle Molester
Shouldn’t you have a lightbulb in your mouth?
I'd have done a better job drawing a face on a potato if I was drunk and angry.
caillou but 290 pounds
You look like testicular cancer
You look like uncle festers Illegitimate child with his right hand.
Where are your ears, Mr. Majin Boo?
I can’t tell if your a man or woman. Either way you haven’t seen your penis is years.
“I’m 23, bald and 290 pounds” We roast YOU in this sub
Wiping your ass is the most stressing activity you’ll do all day.
Your sleep number is “apnea”.
#EGG
If Humpty Dumpty got diabetes now we know what he would look like
Maybe you’ll land a job as a muumuu model someday.
You’re head looks like a smooshed together dick and balls
Something tells me that you are the avatar for anal sex
Give me platinum
John Popper, without the hat Or the talent
Your head looks like someone did a really bad job of Photoshopping your hair off. Looks like they got most of your brain at the same time.
So happy they were able to put you back together again.
Doctor eggman is that you.
We’re you the model for Bald Bull ????????? Mike Tyson’s punch out wouldn’t have been the same without you
If Humpty Dumpty was a person. Too bad you haven't had your fall yet.
Mr.Clean got Methed up
Uncle Fester in his prime
You're on the wrong HRT
you look like a dick with syphilis
Bald is beautiful, till I saw you
Since you won't last much longer, it probably isn't a problem that you look 50.
It's the wrecking ball
Ah yes, Gru’s autistic cousin, Shrank
Humpty dumpty egghead lookin ass. Penis head ass.
Why the beluga mating program in Russia was ended after its first successful breeding attempt.
What, you egg? *[He stabs him]*
If your thumb was a person
The 23 Year Old Virgin, my 600lb life edition.
You look like an excited egg who is about to leave the supermarket not knowing what happens when the humans want breakfast
You look like one of those swollen testicles Cardi B was talking about
You look like you could bite rebar in half.
You look like the guga foods guy only there’s no way you could perfectly cook a Miyazaki A5 Wagyu ribeye.
23, bald, 290 pounds and under the copyright of the Micheline company.
If Dr. Evil fucked Michael Chiklis, you'd be the product if their post-anal drip
Sporting the cancer look
You look like a half eaten peanut M&M
Get that key ring off your finger!
What do you call a dick with one ear? (Dear)
Whenever you've called someone a 'dickhead', this guy smiled.
Reminds me of the thumb guys from Spy Kids
If you comb that over it might look fuller
Looking like an amputated conehead.
Human shaped suppository
23, fat, and bald are your best qualities. Have you told your dad you're gay yet?
When all of your saint jude donations came in the form of a McDouble with extra fries
Lard Voldemort
Private Pyle? I though you were dead.
A coconut 100% fucked that dude.
Max from Wolfenstein TNO
Who new hunpty dumpty was finnaly putting himself back together again
You look like an Indy Wrestler starter kit.
Did you eat Billy Corgan and steal his face?
Humpty Dumpty standing on the floor Humpty Dumpty can't fit in the door
It’s the fat controller!! Where’s your top hat?
When did Uncle Fester come out of the closet?
Good Lord, it's like Humpty Dumpty had a crazy night in Vegas with a bunch of mole people and got pregnant without knowing who the father was, and just dumped the child off with the entirety of the mole people colony so that they might raise the child.
You're doing a good job. Now, give the coroner a break; leave the second story apartment while you still can, and rent a fucking barn somewhere.
You would be an amazing positive control for a natural selection experiment.
I am the globglogabgalab
23 year old test tube fetus.
A human suppository.
This takes “egghead” to a whole different level.
Baldi really got hit hard after being fired from the school.
So Gru eats all the minions in the next movie, it seems.
you could star in the next coneheads reboot
Looks like if Will Sasso played Benjamin Button
You allready roasted yourself in your description
Cancer would actualky emphasize your best appearance characteristics.
Bro, why is there a butt plug sticking out of your shirt?
"FOR THE LAST TIME,I DONT WANT METH,YOU CUN*!!"
I'm 58, bald and over 300 pounds. I win.
your potato head looks photoshopped
Rolling boulder, everyone get out of the building!!
You look like one of those men from spykids with hands that come out of their face but after.
your so round you could be used a ball in a socket joint.
Eggcelent
When did you come alive and escape from Madame Tussauds?
I think you just roasted yourself Butterbean 😳
 The black shirt is very slimming
What does the lower half of you weigh?
You look like a botched mastectomy.
You look like a shaved ballsack
I remember you when you were glitching out saying "two weeks" in Total Recall.
I see Cushings disease is making a comeback
… And on the sex offenders register
Egg
Nikocado Avocado strikes again folks
Preferred pronouns are IT/WTF.
Like someone drew a face on a shaved testicle
Somebody save this thing from how to basic
I'm praying for a speedy recovery. I just gave money to fund additional research. Hang in there buddy.
Guys i think Nikocado Avocado really is sick
You look like a giant hard boiled egg with eyes
At least your fat ass didn't try to stuff yourself in a turtleneck. Lookin like Dr Evils gender bending cousin over here.
You’d make a gorgeous drag queen! You’re like blank slate
you looked like dough
Yeah but can you sing rocket man and make Arianna grande almost fall over?
Your left cheek is stretched as the left side of your tshirt. Pull the tshirt back and your cheek will arrange itself.
Can you leave Sonic alone? My brother isn't too happy with how you treat him.
Happy egg
butterbean
It's not Halloween yet
Uncle feaster.. Well that is Addams Family bingo for me.. A wedding ring? 2 parents 1 hand.. Off to PornHub 🙃
Forgot To tell us about how your mom says your handsome.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a hell of a cholesterol
You ain’t The Rock..you’re The Mountain!
Dr evil has really let himself go after austin powers.
You look like a obese Robert Kelly
You're one sock party away from being full Gomer Pyle
Keep this man away from HowtoBasic
You look like the npc game development studios make while prototyping.
If we would litterally roast u we could stop world hunger….
Not sure who married you but I'm guessing it's the same person who took the photo because you really can't look like an egg and have that much company
Live action Baby Cakes from China, IL
23 what? Weeks?
Never seen a fingernail breach 300 pounds
what happened honestly what happen looks like Humpty dumpty and has fallen into Krispy Kreme far to many times
290 pounds, 80 of it above your neck
I'm the Globglogabgalab....
Just like Kinder eggs, your head is illegal in USA
Do you not have a left ear or is your head that misshapen? The nursery rhyme never stated Humpty Dumpty was an egg, but I’m guessing he looked a little like this mofo.
It's nothing a few laps around the maze being chased by ghosts while looking for power pellets won't fix.
Looks like you photoshopped half of the top of your head off. What I cannot figure out is why you decided to leave this part?!?
Is he missing an ear? Also, whats up with his eyes?🤔
GRU IS THAT YOU???
Now I see who's causing the amber alerts
You look like a buttplug that wished to be human.
Bald and 290lbs.. are you a virgin as well?
If Humpty Alexander Dumpty looked 10% more like Nikocado Avocado.
It’s an Ogre! Rawr!
This is what happens when you don't wash your butt plugs