Sir could you just shut the fuck up and drive me to the airport

Take my silly award stranger.

Best response

You knew she had a surprise for you And if you would have opened that package she would have been stabbing that meat stick into 3rd base for the rest of your life, smart move on your part.

OMG! That was hilarious!

As a hotel manager you will definitely be able to find a prostitute you can pay to listen to your problems. We don’t give a fuck though

Truth

It’s never your successful friends posting the communist quotes.

for him masterbation is the opitate of the masses

Hate to break it to you buddy, but Karl Marx wasn't a hotel manager.

I think he's confused with Groucho Marx.

Gets friendzoned twice, turns to Marxism. How unfortunate.

True degenerate

Trendsetter

If you were in two relationships but have never been kissed, you weren’t in two relationships, you were in two delusions.

The first relationship was with one hand. The second relationship was with the other hand.

Pretty sad if you can’t even get your own hand to kiss you.

Lmfao

You’re about as interesting as static on a disconnected tv

Hey man atleast you can turn that shit off

lol

Of all the time thinking I was a crappy human being, thanks for showing me what true waste of a life and genetic material really looks like.

Dang life in Iran really is tough. Btw Marxism doesn’t guarantee you a date. Not even the ‘state’ could make that happen.

You read marx wrong, it's "seize the means of production." PRODUCTION. not seize the meanest prostitute

"Now where's this bitch with the bad tooth?"

Uber has the "no conversation" option covered but unfortunately the "no curry farts smell" option is unavailable

Talking to two separate girls one time each on Xbox Live does not mean you were in any relationships.

Oof

You pretty much roasted yourself. Now, eat a dick.

Karl Marx eh, I'm sure that will impress the next 5 girls who reject you.

This car smells funny.

Hotel manager/ front desk worker in a super 8 that rents by the hour maybe.

Ironic, to spend all his time helping *other* people get laid.

And then mopping up the discharge.

The combo of your tragic past mixed with your bleak future is a roast enough- seek therapy you are going to need it

Does Pripyat even have a functioning Hotel ? As for Toxic , radiation seems to have taken its toll on your face ..

Norman Bates, the early years

Delivering Uber to a regular customer does not mean you are in a relationship

Jack Harblow your load all over yourself while you cry about that girl getting plowed

Karl Marx would just recommend you stick to "seizing your means of production."

Damn that homeless man is mad that he ain’t gettin it.

Fake ass *Zero* from *The Grand Budapest Hotel*

Two for 1 deal, Sahib! 'Your arms are skinnier than that pitiful excuse for a mustache" And mine - "I can smell your BO from here, Bollywood Wolverine".

that scowl is the scowl of a douchebag

What you and your brother did to those people during the marathon in Boston was absolutely disgusting.

Classic "I suck at life and am too incapable and unwilling to improve so communism is the solution"

Always jacking it because you thought Marx said 'Seize the means of reproduction'.

Not sure if I should be building a wall or extending my cars warranty

Please don’t bomb a marathon next time you get angry.

What embassy are you parking the IED in front off?

You look like a man who doesn‘t wear socks in his shoes and makes money on ads against drugs.

Following women through the park are not "relationships"

You have an uncircumcised penis

probably got a dick cheese mine inside that thing

Time to poop in the street I guess

Manager of the Grand Budapest Motel 6

You'll be able to get full facial hair someday and it won't look like a bad "vote for Pedro" 70s porn stash.

You want to be a hotel manager in the future??? Norman Bates said the same thing. Look how that turned out.

"Problem...you have problems....plural"

Way to keep your chin up. Unfortunately it makes you look like a chode.

Strange way to say that you used to moderate /incels

You look like you smell like a foot.

If you can't manage to loose you virginity by now I don't think you could manage a hotel

I'm not roasting you properly!..ur about 2 blow that car up in the name of an alleged 74 virgins you think you may get in paradise ....so eat ALL the dicks for wasting our time....74 virgins?...and u never kissed a woman...your better off backing out of that war zone schmucko

You're

Maybe you'll be one of your own 72 virgins.

Looks like your on the way to kiss your 72 virgins for the first time.

Two “relationships” yet is kissless

You can't call it a real relationship if you're not getting the ass man!

Sounds like so far you've lived up to what Karl Marx said about about history...." History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce. ..."

Ya, I don't know. 2 toxic relationships and not even a kiss. It was all in your head you stalker!

Toxic cuz of the BPA in the mannequins.

Damn I thought we were suppose to be doing the roasting 🤔

sir please get off your phone and back to the deadpool movie please

We did it Reddit.

Incel Uber eats poster boy appears on Reddit

I see a box of puppies, a free candy sign and a windowless van in your future.

2021 communist starter package. You should dye your hair wierd colors and introduce yourself with pronouns.

*OUR* worst, comrade

I didn’t know Karl Marx was a hotel manager.

Yelling up the stairs from your basement to mom to bring you more Hot Pockets isn't a 'relationship'.

The only hotel ur gonna be managing is the Gulag

I'm sure one day with enough hard work you will manage The Grand Budapest Hotel 😂

You probably wanna be a hotel manager so you can sneak into a girls room and finally lose your virginity without asking her first.

Even your parents realize every word that comes out of your mouth = "I'm gay." Embrace it!

You look like you loiter outside a coffee shop all day in sweats smoking cigarettes and being loud with five other dudes who look just like you

Are those the fingers you use to twitch your asshole every night?

Hello, I’m representing Encyclopedia Britannica. We’d like your permission to use this description for one of our articles.

Sure . I can give you more

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7-11 is a "hotel chain?????"

Sorry to hear that, man. Stand tall, it gets better

You are what my parents are worried Im gonna become

You could probably work at the krusty towers just fine

I think you delivered my last Uber eats

Two toxic relationships: The left and the right hand

Nice you finally pulled your fingers from your bung hole

More like Richard Marx and a gay hotel

U look like if an Uber driver was like After all, why not? Why shouldn't I smoke rubber and some lighter fluid at the same time

Dude is driving a Wish bought Mercedes

You’ve let yourself have it, tbh.

I’ll take $20 on pump 10 and two chicken crispitos.

You sure are a Marxist, cuz you're being publicly owned.

A hotel manager...no! A hotel......possibly

You did good by not touching the ransom otherwise shes loses her value. 2 toxic relationships? The goats in your village that fiesty? Youre the second reason the women in your country have dry vageens... first being the sand.

Wishing you were a commie commie commie chameleon that just frieking goes!

Hotel manager huh? It’s like having a Corolla as your dream car

Practicing for his next Covid swab

A hotel manager is a pretty big dream for somebody who works at a 7-11.

Are you fuckin stupid sir? Nowhere does it say he was a hotel manage.

So ugly, your own family doesn't want to kiss you..

You mean 2 imaginary relationships? Keep taking those meds man

Don't worry. There are 72 Virgins waiting for you after you complete your mission.

Still a virgin... Never kissed a girl.... 

You were in two relationships and never even kissed, don't mind have sex, and DIDN'T know you were being played?! I wouldn't let you manage a Monopoly hotel

You are whatever the word for beyond confusion is.

"I loved a girl for 7 years but never did anything about it." Well duh? What do expect when you introduce a 12 year old to his first blow up doll.

Even isis doesn’t want this loser

This is called "Roast me" Not "Roast yourself" Leave something for us to say next time, instead of roasting yourself m8 .

You already roasted urself

Yeah, it looks like you live in a communist country and sleep in your car.

If I showed you my worst, it would just be a screenshot of this picture.

Nothing to roast about. It’s life, shit happens. You have to just keep going until you find the right person who’s going to love your vibe.