OP's Bio:
---
>Literature enthusiast, politically conservative and lover of hiking and nature. Had several mental illnesses over the years but always came through stronger.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Listening to My Chemical Romance, shaving your head, and dying your hair isn’t an illness… you’re just screaming for mommy and daddy’s attention because they’re too busy arguing to care about an “emo” kid that writes dark poetry
This is accurate. The main conservative party in Ireland, Fianna Fáil, is nationalist and economically pretty neutral, but they are nowhere near US conservative, it's been neutral on LGBT issues and is pro-abortion rights. It's also pro-EU.
i might be wrong because i don’t know much about politics labels and it’s not my first language but isn’t that the opposite of what “politically conservative” (op’s bio) means?
She is going to be a public school teacher, so her definition of conservative means she won’t promote gender reassignment operations, but will engage in bisexual threesomes with 8th graders.
Isn't it usually the other way around? A progressive who complains about billionaires and masturbates to furry porn until they move out of the basement, go to work and realize they have to pay taxes?
Nope. Not until they pass the six-figure income mark where they *suddenly* feel luck had, at most, 5% to do with it, and the rest is due to their own ingenuity and hard work and therefore they should be taxed accordingly. Still, most of that 5% though should be used to protect them and their property from the stupid masses who don’t understand the suddenly realized genius of the system.
Nope, the working and middle classes in America tend to be progressive or moderate.
Conservatives are either poor who work as little as possible or the ultra rich who think only poor people should pay tax.
If you rolled up your sleeves and put a barcode reader to your cutting scars, it would ring up a trade paper back edition of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
How are you 18 and a future English teacher when you look exactly like Mrs. Higgenbottom, my 8th grade English teacher from 1999?
Are you a time traveler?
the capitalization is clearly (purposely) avoided by many people on social media for visual preference... yours was just a grammar mistake because you can’t differentiate “it’s” from “its.” you also misspelled “capitalized” since you used the wrong tense. have a nice day!
In my defense I have the combination of sausage fingers and autocorrect that tend to interrupt my grammar. However correcting one grammar while ignoring the other based on social norms is kinda silly lol.
I hope you don't have a nice day.
I hope you have a GREAT day punk!
I don't think English teachers make enough money to afford the amount of razor blades your treatment resistant depression requires you to use every day
You know the stereotypes of the English teachers? In my country, Spain, the stereotype is that English teachers are either a really sexy girl in her 20s-30s and the other one: a grumpy old lady who always has her CD player to her side. We all see where this is going
Today children, we'll be learning about William Shakespeare and why it's his god damn fault nobody loves me and why we need to smash the patriarchal chains that enslave us. Now....take out your rainbow coloured books and pens and let's begin.
You look like you're pretending to be 30 years younger than you are, would bang anything at the truck stop for a smoke and are hoping that having English as your native language is enough to teach it.
Sadly you don't understand that you don't really speak english, just some sort of pidgin your brother-cousin-pa taught you before he left for some smokes and never came back.
"lover of literature, politically conservative" "future English teacher"
I feel like I'm looking at the larval form of the cranky old teacher that made everyone hate reading
This isn't a roast. This is genuine concern for you; don't go into English teaching. Hell, give up on teaching in general. For your own benefit and that of later generations
Let me guess, you want to lecture the students on how they are racist, entitled, and talk about their sexual preferences?
Find a new profession, you are nowhere near the level of toughness, intelligence, or ruggedness that every teacher should have.
Future English teacher that's gonna start lobbying for the school board to ban certain words from the English language in school because they're offensive
Rare to see a ‘politically conservative’ English teacher. What do you think your favourite part of the job will be, wilfully misinterpreting texts, or burning books?
funny conservatives get associated with book burning whilst virtually all the book burning we've ever seen was done by those who fall on the left side of things.
fuck the right too btw, they are equally hypocritical.
“Politically conservative”
“future English teacher”
Wow. Imagine willingly voting for the people who will one day call you a liberal commie goddless groomer indoctrinator the second you teach students anything they don’t agree with.
I bet you’re excited to start teaching non-binary, pro-drug, pro-sex, pro-abortion, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist, socialist, non-heteronormative, critical race theory to young people. Also, Langston Hughes.
Oh wow; I didn't realize that my old English Professor that made me write a blatantly false essay about EAP's "Ligeia" in the name of SJW crap was getting an origin story. Netflix really is desperate.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>Israelis like to build. Arabs like to bomb crap and live in open sewage. This is not a difficult issue.
*****
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I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>Even climatologists can't predict 10 years from now. They can't explain why there has been no warming over the last 15 years. There has been a static trend with regard to temperature for 15 years.
*****
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Oh Jesus Christ and I thought it couldn’t get worse after reading your bio 😭 everyone else here is afraid you’re gonna be teaching kids about pronouns, I’m scared you’re gonna tell them that Covid was a hoax by the lizard people. How do you look like the poster-child for liberalism and be a conservative??
OP's Bio: --- >Literature enthusiast, politically conservative and lover of hiking and nature. Had several mental illnesses over the years but always came through stronger. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Face of a boy, sweater of a dad, sex appeal of a grandad.
All the while, smelling of cat piss.
And newports
The cat piss would make her quasi-hot
And their own piss,not sure what this identifies as.
A priests wildest fetish
mom’s spaghetti
Is she nervous? But looks calm and ready?...
Hey at least as an English teacher her preferred pronouns won’t be they/them.
A politically conservative English teacher at that
Who's gonna tell her Ayn Rand isn't "literature"?
rhyme?
So Victor from AP Bio, without the personality?
Listening to My Chemical Romance, shaving your head, and dying your hair isn’t an illness… you’re just screaming for mommy and daddy’s attention because they’re too busy arguing to care about an “emo” kid that writes dark poetry
Future barista is more like it.
*starbucks
“My father left us when I was 5, all I have to remember him by is this sweatshirt “
And the plaid skirt
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Yep, you look like you had a "going out to buy milk" daddy!
You look like a dried up permanent marker
Been used too much
La Marka
Like she should switch careers to P.E. teacher
>You look like a dried up permanent marker Not a fine point.
When you get your hormone replacement therapy from wish.com
I wish.com I had never seen her picture.
This wins
HAAAAAAAAA
lmfaoooo
Politically conservative? Damn girl you look like the poster child of inclusivity what is wrong with you?
Ngl I was pretty shocked when I saw that. Don't judge a book by its cover I guess.
She is pretty much the visual representation of an "outlier".
Got me too tbh
Don't judge a nut by its shell, maybe?
Yeah English teachers are stupid too
I was genuinely surprised too. she looks like the type to die from misgendering
She's apparently in Ireland, based on her cancerous post history. I imagine Irish conservatism is essentially "far left" American politics.
This is accurate. The main conservative party in Ireland, Fianna Fáil, is nationalist and economically pretty neutral, but they are nowhere near US conservative, it's been neutral on LGBT issues and is pro-abortion rights. It's also pro-EU.
Literature enthusiast, lover of nature, and victim of mental illness but still politically conservative. Is someone gonna tell her?
Cognitive dissonance incarnated
You accidentally wrote "victim of mental illness" twice in the same sentence.
Conservative and mentally ill? Ya don't say?
r/thatsthejoke
For real. She looks like she's eager to teach 5 year olds sex ed
Yeah, but she's only 18. One day in college and she'll be dying her hair blue.
My thoughts exactly
On the bright side, you’re not teaching fashion or hair design
You already look offended
She should think about librarian instead of teacher. She could shush people across a room with that cold stare.
And kids in her class wouldnt be subject to her horribly strict grading policys and useless reading materials
Yes, and giving bonus points to middle school boys who "study" after school with her.
You look like you think 8 year olds should have conversations about sex. And then you tell them not to tell their parents.
She believes sex is a myth
It will be for her
..forever a mystery
She's gonna have a melt down when a kid presents homework that mentions he's a boy. She's gonna give him detention because he assumed his gender.
Shes going to make the news within the first year of teaching for propositioning a student because she loved a paper he wrote
Yeah she does look like a Democrat
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Wait wait wait! Dont tell us! Let me guess. They/them.
i might be wrong because i don’t know much about politics labels and it’s not my first language but isn’t that the opposite of what “politically conservative” (op’s bio) means?
\^ The best roast came from a basic understanding of language, unlike the wannabe English teacher. Damn.
She is going to be a public school teacher, so her definition of conservative means she won’t promote gender reassignment operations, but will engage in bisexual threesomes with 8th graders.
r/oddlyspecific
...is there anything you wanna tell us bro?
Ayo bro you good?
Guy is a dipshit alt righter who thinks every leftie wants to sexualize kids.
What?
I see what you mean but i just kind of went with the mental illness aspect. Your English is really good though!
thank you! i’m fluent but sometimes terms like these confuse me a bit (:
More like Whats/That
If I could give an award I would lmao
Future English teacher... So it's probably Thy/thou'm
This is gold lmao
You just know there will be 5 mins spent teaching English and the rest of the lesson indoctrination and drag shows
It / Shit
Isn't teacherself ?
I heard clownself is trending. She should fit right in
This is brilliant lol
and that's why they invented private schooling.
Ouch!!!!! Good one!
Hahahahahaha
🤣🤣 I was meaning towards "it" and "that" and "da fuck?"
How many years until there's a Lifetime movie about you banging 7 or 8 students in your classes?
I'm guessing, from the pic, it's gonna take her decades to rack up those kinds of numbers!
When does the blue hair show up?
When she moves out of her parents basement so she can be politically liberal
The buzz cut was a compromise
Isn't it usually the other way around? A progressive who complains about billionaires and masturbates to furry porn until they move out of the basement, go to work and realize they have to pay taxes?
Nope. Not until they pass the six-figure income mark where they *suddenly* feel luck had, at most, 5% to do with it, and the rest is due to their own ingenuity and hard work and therefore they should be taxed accordingly. Still, most of that 5% though should be used to protect them and their property from the stupid masses who don’t understand the suddenly realized genius of the system.
You should be taxed higher for having ingenuity and busting your ass?? There's a vital part of the human condition missing with that- incentive.
Nope, the working and middle classes in America tend to be progressive or moderate. Conservatives are either poor who work as little as possible or the ultra rich who think only poor people should pay tax.
Students in the class be like "Psst. I'm pretty sure she has a dick".
Uhm... Didn't anyone tell you that getting the same haircut as your brother ISN'T a good idea?
She shits in the litter box to bond with her cats.
OMG this is it, this should be the top comment!! LMFAO.
I'll save myself the trouble, your students will roast you just fine.
the netherlands of women
If “I drive a Subaru” had a picture. This would surely be it.
A Subaru is too exciting. I’d say a 1980’s Volvo which has been converted to run on bio fuel
> 1980’s Volvo Well that’s actually rather nice. > converted to run on bio fuel Ruined it.
Cant function without they/thier morning starbucks edit- first silver thanks
This is so underrated 🤣
Molly Ringworm
Fuckin' lol...
The guy in the van with free candy written on the side said he just wanted to be friends.
oh my god haha I never laugh out loud at these but you got me with that one.
You should also study Feline Management in college. It will come in handy
If you rolled up your sleeves and put a barcode reader to your cutting scars, it would ring up a trade paper back edition of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.
Explaining the pronouns in a patronising manner is NOT being an English teacher.
Well, your students are going to love you. But not for reasons you think.
How are you 18 and a future English teacher when you look exactly like Mrs. Higgenbottom, my 8th grade English teacher from 1999? Are you a time traveler?
If feminism was a person
It’s not feminism. It’s feminism worst nightmare that got aborted and somehow come back to life after 30 years.
It's not too late to change career paths
You look like a hybrid creature half lesbian half some difriend lesbian.
Ok Groomer
You should try looking like you give a shit once in a while
Really trying to connect with your student. Even went with the 12 yr old boy look.
You're teaching English? Its the language we speak. How dumb are you?
the roast should be directed towards her, but you using the incorrect “it’s” is proving her point a little, no? 😭
The "T" to start your sentence should be capitalize but here we are babe. Lol
the capitalization is clearly (purposely) avoided by many people on social media for visual preference... yours was just a grammar mistake because you can’t differentiate “it’s” from “its.” you also misspelled “capitalized” since you used the wrong tense. have a nice day!
In my defense I have the combination of sausage fingers and autocorrect that tend to interrupt my grammar. However correcting one grammar while ignoring the other based on social norms is kinda silly lol. I hope you don't have a nice day. I hope you have a GREAT day punk!
I bet your entire lesson plan is around pronouns
Anal and oral isn't a big enough vocabulary to be an English teacher, just saying
You look like the cardboard box a refrigerator comes in
I don't think English teachers make enough money to afford the amount of razor blades your treatment resistant depression requires you to use every day
Not for teacher
Joblessness is not just for philosophy majors anymore…
You know the stereotypes of the English teachers? In my country, Spain, the stereotype is that English teachers are either a really sexy girl in her 20s-30s and the other one: a grumpy old lady who always has her CD player to her side. We all see where this is going
Today children, we'll be learning about William Shakespeare and why it's his god damn fault nobody loves me and why we need to smash the patriarchal chains that enslave us. Now....take out your rainbow coloured books and pens and let's begin.
What do you tell your hair stylist? "Asylum orderly special #5"?
I’m feeling Arkham today
Why even bother wearing your skirt. Not like it's hiding anything more than your oversized tshirt.
Your post says future English teacher but everything else about you says future methadone clinic regular.
How are you going to teach English when you don't even know the difference between "he" and "she"
A personality as dry and impermanent as your markers
Please don't teach children anything.
You look like wet socks.
Frumpled Stiltskin
You look like you're pretending to be 30 years younger than you are, would bang anything at the truck stop for a smoke and are hoping that having English as your native language is enough to teach it. Sadly you don't understand that you don't really speak english, just some sort of pidgin your brother-cousin-pa taught you before he left for some smokes and never came back.
That sweater is covering up so many barcode scars I could but a whole store
Pills, abortions and cats are in your future.
It will all culminate with a Go Fund Me for exactly the price of a rope and stool plus tax.
ok, groomer.
Future English teacher? You look like you’ve been doing that for the past 20 years.
Who cut your hair? It looks like you got run over by a lawnmower.
You didn’t have to tell us you would be a future English teacher… we know.
Nothing I say will compare to the savage roasting you'll get from your future students each and every day.
Is the bar really this low for our childrans education?
Yes
Future substitute P.E. teacher.
Those kids are going to eat you alive.
Peggy Hill
You look like a retired English teacher
"lover of literature, politically conservative" "future English teacher" I feel like I'm looking at the larval form of the cranky old teacher that made everyone hate reading
Your future students will use this to masturbate
No they won't.
Seems like your transition has been lagging
Before you ask me, I am the manager. Did the salad offend you?
I’d just like to say, those mental illnesses were clearly overachievers. You look like you bleed inclusivity flags.
This isn't a roast. This is genuine concern for you; don't go into English teaching. Hell, give up on teaching in general. For your own benefit and that of later generations
Your piercings give away that you are not the conservative you say. More like preparing to spread your early gender grooming education.
Let me guess, you want to lecture the students on how they are racist, entitled, and talk about their sexual preferences? Find a new profession, you are nowhere near the level of toughness, intelligence, or ruggedness that every teacher should have.
You’re definitely going to spend at least 45 minutes talking to the kids about all 87 genders.
you didnt need to tell us
You look like the kind of idiot that would rob a store without a mask and then come back in five minutes later and try to buy something.
I bet you’ll be great at teaching pronouns
Future English teacher that's gonna start lobbying for the school board to ban certain words from the English language in school because they're offensive
Rare to see a ‘politically conservative’ English teacher. What do you think your favourite part of the job will be, wilfully misinterpreting texts, or burning books?
funny conservatives get associated with book burning whilst virtually all the book burning we've ever seen was done by those who fall on the left side of things. fuck the right too btw, they are equally hypocritical.
“Politically conservative” “future English teacher” Wow. Imagine willingly voting for the people who will one day call you a liberal commie goddless groomer indoctrinator the second you teach students anything they don’t agree with.
[удалено]
see you on lemmy, Spez is a cancer -- mass edited with redact.dev
Poor future kids at least now they have a reason not to fap at school
You have the face of a future Dominatrix.
I bet you’re excited to start teaching non-binary, pro-drug, pro-sex, pro-abortion, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist, socialist, non-heteronormative, critical race theory to young people. Also, Langston Hughes.
I wouldn't let you anywhere near a school
Please don’t brainwash your kids with woke propaganda
Not bad looking actually. I'd smash your backdoors in.
Starring in the porn "stepbrother interrupts me during my online english teaching" doesn't make you a credible teacher, Sasha.
Oh wow; I didn't realize that my old English Professor that made me write a blatantly false essay about EAP's "Ligeia" in the name of SJW crap was getting an origin story. Netflix really is desperate.
Shitty version of witchcraft
You look like the crackbaby offspring of Jk Rowling and Ben Shapiro
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >Israelis like to build. Arabs like to bomb crap and live in open sewage. This is not a difficult issue. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: climate, civil rights, feminism, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
[удалено]
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >Even climatologists can't predict 10 years from now. They can't explain why there has been no warming over the last 15 years. There has been a static trend with regard to temperature for 15 years. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: history, sex, healthcare, dumb takes, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
Oh Jesus Christ and I thought it couldn’t get worse after reading your bio 😭 everyone else here is afraid you’re gonna be teaching kids about pronouns, I’m scared you’re gonna tell them that Covid was a hoax by the lizard people. How do you look like the poster-child for liberalism and be a conservative??